Status: Completed
Summary:
Created: September 26, 2013 | Updated: September 29, 2013
Genre : Romance
Language : English
Reviews: 1 | Rating:
Favorites: 0
Reads: 1262
Share this:
1: | Rough Draft | 582 |
2: | Bryan's Version | 660 |
3: | Sophie's Version | 1148 |
Total Wordcount: | 2390 |
Reviews (1)
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Eleanor Damaschke created a potentially steamy situation that could have been a wonderful short romance. Unfortunately it stops short, the story ending just at the point where the reader is starting to feel the momentum of the writing. Another chapter (or two if following the author's style) would have helped. Perhaps more detail on the date and the goodbye to give the readers the ability to imagine what happens next. But as is, this falls a little short of its potential.
Rating:
October 8, 2013 Flag
Comments / Critiques
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Reply
I would maybe add a few more chapters to this. It doesn't feel finished. Also I would maybe credit your friend in the summary but just have the parts that fit the story in your actual uploads. Again, that would make this a lot more polished.
October 8, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
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Chapter: 1 Reply
You're missing a few words here or there in this, but otherwise very clean writing.
October 8, 2013 | D.M. Gergen