Status: Completed
Summary:
Created: September 23, 2013 | Updated: September 23, 2013
Genre : Tragedy
Language : English
Reviews: 1 | Rating:
Favorites: 0
Reads: 620
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| 1: | My last Day | 492 |
| Total Wordcount: | 492 |
Reviews (1)
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Good writing for a student in 9th grade, but some things to clean up to match what I assume is a slightly more mature author at this point. It's a short read so worth a look by other readers.
Rating:
October 8, 2013 Flag
Comments / Critiques
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Granted you wrote this in 9th grade, so take this comment with a grain of salt, but I have a really big issue with the whole "luckily my bother went through the window" part. Nothing lucky about that. That, actually, is more likely to end in death than remaining in the car. And from the way you described the impact it just isn't realistic. Again, a 9th grader probably wouldn't have any reason to know this so it's understandable, but for future knowledge if you are writing a car accident being ejected is definitely not the way to go if you want to live.
October 8, 2013 | D.M. Gergen