Status: Completed
Summary:
Created: September 21, 2013 | Updated: September 21, 2013
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 1 | Rating:
Favorites: 0
Reads: 633
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1: | The First (and Final) Chapter | 1999 |
Total Wordcount: | 1999 |
Reviews (1)
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A fun and engaging story thats only real flaw in that it ends too soon.
Rating:
September 22, 2013 Flag
Comments / Critiques
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This is my favorite of your stories so far. Out of all of them I really hope that you at some point come back and make this into a longer story. There were still a few choppy sentences here or there, but nothing really major. Nice writing here and a very captivating story.September 22, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
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Thank you very much! I was thinking about making it into a longer story - I mean, I see it in my mind - but I have the knack of always "giving up" on something, and I didn't want to do it to this one. Thank you, again, for all of your wonderful feedback.September 22, 2013 | K M Rowe
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I was so surprised when the man turned out to be a maybe-overly romantic prince. It's such a great plot twist, and I hope you will write more so I can find out what happens next. Cecilia in and of herself is a great character--you've rounded out her image in my mind with only one chapter.
One suggestion for a minor edit: "It wasn't that she enjoyed the money, or the fact that she could buy whatever she wanted, being that she had a pouch of gold that replenishes itself every twenty-four hours, so she wasn't quite interested in that part."
I think the last clause sounded a bit redundant. If you read the sentence without it: "...being that she had a pouch of gold that replenished itself every twenty-four hours." I think that's a very good place to end it. It's not a necessary change, though.
Good job with this; I hope you continue! :D
February 5, 2014 | Kobayashi Kyoko