Status: In Progress
Summary:
The year is 4021. Kayla wakes up one morning in a strange house, with strange people, and no memory whatsoever. She soon discovers the house is hers and she is the leader of a rebellion against a cruel king. Oh, and everyone thinks she's dead.
Created: September 2, 2013 | Updated: September 25, 2013
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 1 | Rating:
Favorites: 4
Reads: 901
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Reviews (1)
Comments / Critiques
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A good start and original enough. I'm very interested in knowing what sort of power this king has and what power your character has considering he can't destroy her.September 4, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
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Hello! I really enjoyed reading this! I love how Kayla is mentioned in the beginning because I was wondering about her and then we get to know more about as she has lost all her memories and now has to readjust to living.Very creative and original! The details are breath-taking. Great job! =DSeptember 25, 2013 | Lissy Popolow
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Chapter: 1 Reply
My first comment on reading this chapter is get rid of the 3rd person POV. We know it's third person by reading it. There's no need to have that in there. Then, when you flip over to the first person point of view either make it a completely new chapter or use a break like a ~ before starting the new paragraph. It cleans up the look of your piece and makes it feel more professional.September 4, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
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Chapter: 1 Reply
Ooh, nice! I'm no critic, so I won't be able to give you any help there. XD But it's good so far. I especially (*cough* love) your opening scene with the king, especially your description of the execution. Please update soon!September 25, 2013 | DeaD VoRTeX
