Sparkatale

Very...interesting...
I'm going to write 2 comments on this particular chapter: One with the plot itself, and one for the way the chapter was written, if that's okay?

-The Chapter Layout-

It looks good here, the story flows quite seamlessly, and your setting shifts from the present to the past quite clearly. I would, however, suggest that if your character, or another character, is thinking something, that you put it into Italics, so that people can immediately grasp that their communicating through thought - especially important since it seems telepathy will be a large form of communication in your story. 

(It's okay. I cut too. My name's Anaya. Know where they're taking us? Or even who they are?

Zac stared at me, eyes wide.

Holy shit, you're telepathic! That's so fucking cool! I'm Zac and they took us because of our powers.)

Also want to point out that "This is my third time escape" doesn't read properly, as well as 'Abductor's' in the final sentence of the chapter, simply remove the apostrophe in that case (although of course I know that these are errors - trust me, I do things like this all the time!)

I've also noticed that you don't seem to deviate from the word 'said' throughout your chapter - sometimes you do, but to a reader this can seem repetitive. I suggest substituting this word with alternatives such as 'replied' 'responded' 'countered' 'argued' 'continued' 'reasoned' 'complained' 'whined' 'muttered' 'whispered' etc, just to give your chapter a little more sense of variety. 

Having said all of this, your chapter reads a lot better than some works I've seen on any platform. There is always going to be errors that require the writer to look over it again and change it - I'm sure you wouldn't need to look very hard to spot mistakes on mine! Please do keep this up...It has potential!

Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I had written it as italicized but it must not have pasted correctly. 

-The Chapter Plot- 

I read the blurb for this story - but even that didn't prepare me for just how far south this chapter was going to go. First of all, I am actually feeling a little bit optimistic for this character - even after what she went through already, her mind doesn't seem to be broken from the torture when she communicates with us in the present. That gives me hope...although I'm not sure if this should be justified.

Anaya's been through hell. Literally hell. Her beginnings start off from a parent's worst nightmare - a pity that her mother never really believed her and her claims that she was being molested. It's unfortunate but in real life not a lot of people believe these claims, especially if it is their own children who come forward with them. 

But things get really interesting when she ends up kidnapped. Although I believe that this was introduced far too quickly. We discover that fact in the space of a sentence and a half, when you could easily have made it more sinister and foreboding to describe how Anaya could see them coming, running away from them, being caught and perhaps escaping them temporarily only to be caught again, this was a pivotal part of the story...I just felt like it didn't receive the recognition it deserved, if that makes sense? 

This woman that seems to oversee this little operation - I have a million and one questions for her. 
- Why is she doing this?
- What is her reason for kidnapping children and harvesting their powers?
- Why does she hold kids with abilities? Does she have a plan for them?
- Are there anybody higher up the chain of command than she is?

She reminds me of Dr. Cathrine Halsey from the Halo franchise - A woman who kidnapped six-year-olds and indoctrinated them into thinking that they were the ultimate heroes. Regina reminds me of her, but she seems to be even more sinister, as if she is morally immune to what she is doing...which means that she must have been doing this for quite some time. 

Overall, this chapter holds a lot of potential, definitely something I would enjoy reading if you choose to publish more chapters - Keep it up!

Thank you. We discover more about Regina and her motives throughout the story. As for why Anaya's kidnapping was so quick...she had just gained her abilities and wasn't even sure how she'd used them. She does learn quickly, but she wasn't quite ready to be able to sense people. That and she had no knowledge of the Abductors, and so she couldn't have known that she was in any danger and was easily captured due to her ignorance. I hope this clears it up and I really do appreciate your feedback. :) I need people to be honest with helping my story along because I want it to make a difference and sloppy writing and simple mistakes can keep me from doing that. I don't want to be written off as an amateur. Thank you again. I do hope that you'll continue reading.