Sparkatale

I'll be doing a review of this as well, but I would rather put critiques in the comment section rather than a review. I'm going to start with some things that as a reader threw me off/just didn't work as well as it could have and put the rest in the review. My very first thing is the very first sentence. Pulchritudinous. That is a mouthful and not a very common word. I know when I have talked with people in the "business" of novels they often say stay away from words like that since a majority of people won't know what it is and it will turn them off. Next, I would split up your paragraphs with who is speaking. That second paragraph is massive. It would be easier to read if you broke it up a bit. Also it would allow you get away with not always saying Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie every other sentence since we would know she is the one talking and making comments or doing things by the format of the paragraph. Also with your dialogue if you are using a speaking verb like said, exclaimed, murmured, etc you don't put a full stop in the quotes. Example "Here's some food." Said Stephanie should look like "Here's some food," said Stephanie. So use a comma when you are going to be using the speaking verbs. Otherwise, aside from the above, I really enjoyed this. I have never read any Stephanie Meyers so I can't comment if this was anything like her story, but the bit at the end all made it worthwhile.