Sparkatale

The story seems interesting, but I would suggest you proof read your stuff a bit more before posting it. I'll show you some examples:

Where you wrote "One minute everything is peaceful were just playing” in the first two lines you probably meant something along the line “we were just playing”. The way it is now the sentence doesn’t make that much sense.

Also, “but no one would tell me what happened even though they all acted like they all knew.” The first “all” is unnecessary, it should be “they acted like they all knew”

Or even “it felt as if I tried to swim at the river but in my clothes.” It should be “tried to swim in the river” and I would also remove the “but”, I personally feel it just looks better without it.

As you can see they are very minor mistakes but they are spread throughout the text, so my advice, like I said in the beginning, would be to proof read a couple of times before posting your chapters.

Keep up the good work!