Sparkatale

Hello. I thought I would check your book out because it sounded interesting, and I rather like it. I've only read the first chapter, but I'll read more when I get the time. I'm going to start off with the cons and then go to the pros:

I don't personally find anything wrong with the plot line, if anything the only things wrong are syntax and the length of the chapter. I don't know if this is just me, but I don't like long first chapters. It feels a little overwhelming. Like I said, this could just be me, but I would split the chapter into two halves; right at the half way point, where you have the three asterisks. Besides that, there are some typos with spelling and grammar throughout the chapter. A few words were omitted, and punctuation near dialog looks sort of funny in some paragraphs, like at times you put a comma instead of a period. The thoughts written right after dialog seemed a little less fluent at times, but that might just be me being picky too. I would be happy to explain further, otherwise I think you would understand if you looked over the chapter again.

Enough with the negative stuff. As previously stated, I really like your plot. It was both funny and mysterious. Not in a crazy, overly dramatic way, but in a way that made the story comfortable, with a good pace. The characters are great too. Nina seems lovable enough, and I could easily sympathize with her. I didn't see any breaks in character. Her little brother was funny too. The way Nina talks about the different characters, showing how she reacts to them, was great and helped reveal her character. I found her thoughts in general to be very enjoyable. It was more of a mental experience than a physical, and it must have taken you a lot of thought and time to write this. The beginning was a good one. I'm glad you said that she didn't understand, and talked about sleeping in a sauna. It said indirectly that everything was just a dream. The humor was yet another strong point here. Lastly, I noticed the pictures in your album of your three main characters. How did you do that? Are you really good at photo stuff or something? They look really cool =)

I hope you find this comment helpful. I'll be following your story. Let me know if you would like to trade comments or something. Other than that, I hope you have a lovely day =)

Thank you so much for your comment :)

I'm sorry for only getting back to you now, I've been swamped in tests. I agree with you on the first chapter being long. I don't like them to big either, but it kinda felt right when I was writing this one, I don't why, maybe I just wanted to show more of Nina's personality in one sweep.

 The grammar errors really bug me. Especially since I read each chapter over, to try and end them, but sometimes it can't be helped and some get away. I'm really glad you liked the plot this far and characters, too. I hope your interest will continue in the next ones.

Aww, thanks. The photos take a little work and it's really nice to get feedback. Covers are the hardest but I try my best. I think of it as a way to promote the story, you know? I use Gimp to them. I learned by messing around, really. There's also a trailer I made on Youtube. So, yeah, I like advertising ;)

 I don't really know how 'comment trade' works. Could you explain it to me? Is it like, you comment on something mine and I comment on something yours?

Have great day and again thank you for following!

You're welcome =)

You've got the basic idea of a comment trade right. I comment on every chapter for your story and you do the same for one of mine, or it could also go by word count. If you're interested, look on my profile and see if you would like to read Hunting Amaatlik or Welcome to Aodel (the others are sequels). If not, I wouldn't be offended and could still comment on your story though the comments would be less in-depth. 

So what's the trailer you made on YouTube? I looked up "Nocturnal book trailer" and the only one I found was by someone named Scott Sigler. Is that you? 0_0