Sparkatale

Hey! This is really good and I can't wait for the next bit!

Not gonna lie, that was actually pretty cool. This was a really good opening chapter for the book. I'll admit, I was a bit skeptical about the whole "school of magic" vibe I got from this, but the clean writing, interesting intro for Cheria, and the pretty exciting chase scene this chapter focused on made me keep reading. 

I want to see where you'll be taking this story. So far, the main character (I presume) seems pretty interesting. This first chapter leaves the possibilities wide open for something awesome, so I hope you take advantage of that!

This was great! I loved how descriptive it was. In fact, it was so well written that I could picture it in my head- which made some of the first bit a little bit disturbing. I was a little concerned about where it would go when they caught her. 

So far, I hate her classmates and feel kind of sorry for her. But, mostly I'm loving that she put up a good fight even though she doesn't see herself as being as strong or capable. She also didn't do the other thing girls tend to do in situations like this (in bad or annoying books and movies) she didn't try to fight them anyway. So, no crying and falling apart pathetically, and no trying to over-take them when it was impossible. She fought, she ran, and she saved herself. 

All good signs of a strong female character. And it seems like those are rarer than they should be. 

I can't wait to read the next chapter. 

Just a personal request, more than a suggestion, perhaps you could explain more about Aer. It sounds a lot like simple magic, but I get the feeling it is more specific and more complicated. 

This has been really great so far. I think the story is developing towards romance, since the guy from the first chapter was mentioned. Just a guess though. The main character seems like a strong lead, and very interesting.

I'm very intrigued by the Aer idea. At first, I thought of it as a synonym to magic, but it seems to be far more complex than just chanting spells and saying a few words. I take it you will explain this more along the way?

Great job! Keep it up!

This was a very good first chapter, I think it did a very good job of introducing the characters (especially Cheria) and introducing the setting of the story. I’m curious to learn more about Aer powers and what they involve :) I wonder why Cheria can’t use them, but I’m sure this will be revealed later. Kylian and the others seemed very creepy, it’s scary how they can get away with that sort of thing just because of their “status” or whatever >.< I also really like your writing style, it was very descriptive and flowed well.

I like how Cheria kept fighting even though she knew they were stronger than her, it shows she’s got spirit. She’s an interesting character, I’m looking forward to learning more about her.

Aer channels seem interesting, at the moment I’m imagining them as secondary blood or lymph vessels. I wonder how they work. I’m curious to learn who exactly Kylian’s father is, he must be someone incredibly important in the Aer society or whatever for them to overlook Kylian’s disgusting behaviour. It must be a very corrupt system >.< He’s got some serious issues about power and control, I wonder if he was always that way or if something happened to him. Anyway, good chapter, I enjoyed it.

Ooohh that cliffhanger ending!!! :D This is getting exciting now!