Sparkatale

There were some parts in this chapter (prologue?) that I had laughed (mainly because of the names... like Turkey and Bacon, and other things, too), but nearing the end of it, I grew bored, but I'm sure that I'm not the preferred age group for this kind of writing. Something I can suggest is that in a conversation, when the next person talks, you add at least one line, because it lessens confusion. Um, see, paragraphs like this (“What is it?” Granitous said, giving into his curiosity. “I know where two of the Hero’s in the prophecy can be located!” Said Delphi. “You don’t say?” Said Granitous sarcastically. “And where are the Hero’s? The howling deserts of Ra-mana? The of Gaia Nova? Or that haunted Inn off of the Primaris main road?” Granitous continued.) I think they could be better, by doing this: “What is it?” Granitous said, giving into his curiosity. “I know where two of the Hero’s in the prophecy can be located!” Said Delphi. “You don’t say?” Said Granitous sarcastically. “And where are the Hero’s? The howling deserts of Ra-mana? The of Gaia Nova? Or that haunted Inn off of the Primaris main road?” Granitous continued. It makes it less confusing. Sorry if you didn't understand a thing I said. I'm really intrigued by what might happen next, because you have a good plot.

I like how you started the prologue, talking about school. Also, the way you spoke about the school and how people were changing made it seem as if Nora would feel lonely, but I can't say for sure, because it only the prologue. Good job, though! I'd like to read more soon.