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- Joined 09/12/13
- Last login 01/12/14
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Thank you so very much for your comment. I look forward to discussing the story with you in the future!
Commented on: January 12, 2014
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Thank you for commenting. On a few of your points, I don't like to re-read my work and my paragraphs appear large due to formatting changes from the original document. I know that not re-reading my work is like one of the 7 deadly sins but I really hate re-reading, which is why I hired an editor to do it for me! I like to get my ideas down quickly and keep moving forward. I helps me to keep up with the storyline better, if I back track I tend to loose focus and etc. She has not read my work yet so that's why it is rather unpolished. Either way, thank you for commenting, once again.
Commented on: October 23, 2013
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Thank you for commenting. She is named after her Father Treamell but she usually goes by either "Taya" which most of her friends call her or "Kamadia" Which is what her mother calls her. As far as establishing that she was a female I thought I did that in the very first sentence with the name Taya, the "a" ending, but I see that I need to go back and revise that. As far as the wolves thing, I think that needs to be subtly hinted at not out right said in the story but I may go back and put that in the description/ summary. I will also go back and describe the characters appearances better. Thanks again.
Commented on: September 20, 2013
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Thank you sooooo much! You don't know how much that lifted my spirits! I was beginning to get a tad worried so I appreciate the encouragement!
Commented on: September 20, 2013
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Thank you! I greatly appreciate all of your advice. Let me know if you want a review as well.
Commented on: September 20, 2013
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Ok thanks I'll work on those things today hopefully and put the revised copy up soon. I appreciate the feed back.
Commented on: September 17, 2013
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Thank you very much for your feed back. I will definitely have to think about the whole housing situation explanation and etc. As far as the modern/ not modern aspect of the story, their language is a mix as well as their housing. Most fairy stories have them living under hills or in tree's, being invisible to the naked eye, living as tricksters or etc. My fairies are more human in nature than your typical fairy story. I will have to go back and try to make this more clear in my story. Which will be difficult because humans do not exist in their world. Also in regards to the ending I simply copy and pasted a section of the first chapter, not the entire thing. I didn't realize it came off as not going anywhere; going forward I will try to add enough to make it appear cohesive. Thanks again for the feed back!
Commented on: September 15, 2013
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I liked the story. Before I give you any real critiques I'd like to read your redo's. I will critique those. Good story so far.
Commented on: September 14, 2013
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I am a big fan of fairy stories! So great topic. Next... I like the chapter. I felt like this is something I could see myself reading in the future. However, the part where she is in the alley ( or not really sure what it was) and the thing was trying to touch her and etc. confused me. I couldn't figure out why she stayed after seeing something like that, let alone after it told her to leave. I was unsure how to take all of this. And I also wondered what her age was and why she ended up in a park alley at night without adult supervision if she is a young girl? Just some things to think about. Great start so far though.
Commented on: September 14, 2013
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I am personally not into violent books but I did think that the concept was a solid one. In the first chapter I felt like too many people were being thrown in at once but I'm sure that can be either fixed or ignored. Aside from a few typos and etc. my interest was piqued. Good job.
Commented on: September 14, 2013