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- Joined 05/15/15
- Last login 05/15/15
- Followers 0
- Books Authored 1
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Achievements
Aaron Goosby is still working on achievements
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- You started off with a quote from my favorite historical general. For that alone, you get a bonus point. (+1)
- Truth be told, this chapter doesn't look as if it has been proofread. There are a lot of minor errors here and there. Nothing too bad, but they're noticeable. I'm willing to proofread it and point out exact errors if you're willing to allow me to do so. (-1)
- You actually managed to do the in medias res RIGHT. You'd be surprised how many people get it horribly wrong. (+1)
- Ria Mathews is an interesting protagonist at the moment. I feel like it's too early for me to decide whether I like her or not. So far, I can see that she sticks to her guns no matter what and I'm impressed by that. However, at the same time she is more than just a little cocky and she seems to be rather brash. The fact that I can like and dislike Ria at the same time means that you did a good job at giving her a human personality. So you get props for that. (+1)
- It's too early for me to be sure, but I'm getting the distinct feeling that the intricacies of combat are going to be glossed over in favor of bias towards swiftness and accuracy. In my opinion, combat is more about advantages and disadvantages than any of your attributes. It doesn't matter how fast and accurate you are if you aren't strong enough to overcome your opponent's defenses and it doesn't matter how strong you are if you aren't fast enough to actually hit your opponent. Combat isn't about being good at one thing than it is about using your advantages and keeping your opponent from using theirs. Please keep this in memory. (-1)
- All in all, 3/5
Commented on: May 18, 2015