Sparkatale

This was quite a nice little story! It's so hard to get a good story into such a small word count, but you did a great job. The characters were fun and the plot was simple and understandable. You managed to fit in both a good dose of humor and heartbreak. I also like the way you presented Death--er, Bob. The train station was also a nifty idea. I don't think I've ever seen that before.

Another good chapter. I'm glad that we're getting a closer look at the characters' personalities, and I'm looking forward to learning more about these two new characters (especially the "ghost girl"). However, I've noticed quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes. Have you ever considered getting someone else to look over your chapters for errors before you post them? I do that, and it largely reduces the amount of mistakes that make it in.

I'm interested to see where this is going. Your descriptions of the imagined crashes are vivid, and the fact that the characters don't simply brush off their injuries is refreshing; a lot of writers seem to forget that bleeding and aching isn't the only consequence of violence. My biggest critique would be the shifting POVs. Changing the character perspective is not a bad thing, but changing it multiple times within a chapter is a bit jarring. I look forward to future chapters.

This story has such a nice feel to it. Aside from a few small grammar/formatting errors, it feels like it come directly out of a published book. The ambiguity at the end really gives it a nice touch that fits the texture of the rest of the story.