Sparkatale

Okay. Let me just go ahead and get this out of the way. I am impressed. I am impressed to the nth degree. I can hold back my adoration of this story no longer. I am a lover of fantasy and I try my hand at writing it as well. What you have done is try your hand at writing fantasy and succeeding. You have a real handle on your world, it sounds like. You're aware of the politics and all aspects of it, so you're able to weave details in and out of one another. I think it's a really great ability to have. There are a few things I have to suggest. It may be my personal taste or it could be something you agree with, but I feel like the flow sort of stops and gets bogged down every time you introduce someone. You introduce a character and then stop to describe them from head to toe. It is as if a pause button gets hit every time. My suggestion would be to describe the characters within the flow of the story instead of stopping it to dump all the details at once. Also, I found one typo. Only one in the whole thing, so really great job there. But the tavern, The Horse's Hoof, was lowercase when it should have been capital. But that's all I got. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more.

Thank you for the great review! Yes I do have a good grasp on the politics and lore of this fantasy world because it's a story I've been working on for -ten years- I've had a lot of time to develop it. As for the character description, thank you for pointing that out. I'll be sure to edit that in the near future (Aka official chapter one of this story) hopefully it'll turn out as good as this did. Again thank you so much for the good review and I'm looking forward to getting chapter one done.