I was stepping into the school building for the first time. I had been sick on the day of freshman orientation and was left to find my way around the school on my own. I knew that I was going to get lost between every single class, but I would have done that even if I did know where I was going. My sense of direction was just horrible!

          I stepped through the doors and froze when I saw him. I could tell that he was older than me, but I didn't care. He called to me. Maybe it was those pale longing eyes or the way he sat there with his arms resting on his knees so nonchalantly while he was so tense. I didn't know, but I just couldn't keep my feet from carrying me over to him. I wouldn't have considered him attractive, he wasn't ugly, but he wasn't my type either.

          He looked up from the stairs he was sitting on as I neared. I could tell by the way his body became rigid that he was frightened. It wasn't that I looked threatening and that just broke my heart. Why would he be so frightened? Poor boy…

          He blinked a few times before he relaxed and just kept his gaze on me. Those eyes. They were so deep, so tormented… I could see an old worn soul, but he couldn't have been any older than sixteen or seventeen. What had happened to him to make him so timid?

          I held my hand out to him and smiled, "Hi, I'm Felicity, but everyone calls me CiCi. I'm a freshman."

          His gaze darted to my hand before he looked up into my eyes again. He was watching me to make sure I wouldn't hurt him. What had happened to him! Finally, he took my hand and my eyes grew wide as I felt how light his touch was. His hand was twice the size of mind, I was a bit small, and yet there was virtually no strength in his hand, "I'm Derik," his voice was light, airy almost, "I'm a junior."

          I smiled. A junior. Maybe if I got in good with him I would be able to go to the prom all four years of high school. I knew it was the wrong thing to go through my head, but that's what I thought, "Are you new here?"

          Derik nodded, "Yeah," he pulled his hand away and looked down at his hands in his lap. He didn't want to talk more, but I just couldn't bring myself to pull away from him. He just called to me and I couldn't let him go.

          I looked up from my notebook as Derik strummed on his guitar. I couldn't believe I was starting our story. It made plenty of sense. Enough happened to us over the years, but it was still amazing to think that we'd been friends for so long. He was my Derik and I wasn't sure what I would do without the man. And he didn't even buy me booze! (I had to go to Markus for that…)

          Derik palmed his guitar as he cocked a curious brow, "CiCi?"

          I shook my head as I smiled, "Just thinking about the first day we met," I pushed my notebook away and slipped off the couch so I was sitting on the floor at his feet, "Did I ever tell you the first thing that went through my head when you told me that you were two years older than me?"

          Derik cocked his head to the side, "What?"

          I laid my head on his knee as I closed my eyes, "I was excited that I might be able to go to prom all four years of high school."

          Derik chuckled as my mind started to wander back to that first day.

         It was lunch time. I was standing with my few friends from middle school when I saw Derik sitting on the steps with a book open in his hands. I couldn't believe I was seeing him again and I couldn't believe that he was reading. Did he not want to make friends? Did he have any friends?

          I shrugged the questions off as I found my way over to him. I sat down on the steps next to him and rested my elbows on my knees, "Hi, Derik."

          Derik jumped and the book slipped from his hands to land at my feet. I picked the book up and felt bad about what I had done. I didn't realize that he would be that jumpy, "CiCi," I could hear the fear in his voice I felt even worse. How horrible was I?

          I handed the book to him and our hands touched. It was right then that I knew that he was going to become very important to me. Even if we never did anything. This boy was going to be a major part of my life for a very long time.

          I smiled as Derik started strumming again, "Do you believe in destiny, Derik?"

          "Mmhmm," he continued to play and I started to recognize his favorite song, Picture Perfect (In Your Eyes) by 10 Years.

          I loved to listen to him play. He wasn't that great, he was more of the intellectual type and would rather have a crossword, but when he needed some time to just zone out he picked up his guitar and played. The man didn't know a single chord. He always played by ear and that made it that much better to mean, "I think we were destined to be together."

          Derik palmed his guitar again and I looked up into his pale green/brown eyes. The man was just so timid and it made me hurt every time I saw that look of indecision in those beautiful eyes. He should have been confident. He was extremely intelligent and after he healed completely from all of his bruises he had become quite attractive, "CiCi, are you okay?"

          I nodded as I sat up and placed my hands on his knees, "Fine," I smiled, "I'm sorry. I'm taking a trip down memory lane. Just thinking about how much you've changed since you met me."

          Derik chuckled as he sat his guitar down on the floor next to the chair, "I've become an entirely new person," he placed his hands on mine, "Because you wouldn't stop bothering me."

          I smiled, "Oh, poohey on you!" I pulled away as I laughed at him, "Do you really mind it now?"

          Derik shook his head, "No, but back then I tried to figure out how to get rid of you," he shook his head as he leaned back in his chair, "So, CiCi, did you just come over to listen to my amazing musical skills or do you want to hang out?"

          I stuck my tonue out at him, "I actually came over because I need your help with my latest report. I figured that since you're such an amazing proofreader and all," I jumped to my feet and hurried over to the door where my book bag sat, "I want you to read over my report and tell me what you think!"

          I spun around to head back over to him, but he was standing right behind me causing me to jump out of my skin. I hated how he could do that. Somehow he could move silently and he used that all the time. He could be such an eerie person and if I didn't know better he would frighten me. But I knew Derik. He had the kindest heard of anyone I knew. He never said anything bad about a single person. He didn't even say anything bad about his father…

          "CiCi," Derik's large hands rested on my shoulders and I groaned. I should have known he would be able to see the pain etched in my face, "are you okay?"

          I tossed my report onto the couch and wrapped my arms around his waist. I hated thinking about my best friend's past. I hated to even contemplate what happened, but it happened and he was constantly haunted by the experience. It was because of such a past that he had been cut and nearly bled out in front of me because he didn't feel it, "Derik," I buried my face against his chest. Maybe memory lane wasn't where I should have been right then.

          Derik ran his hand over my braid as his other arm wrapped around me. This man was so slender and so frail, but he had been through so much. He didn't deserve such a past. He deserved so much more, "Hey, CiCi, talk to me. What's wrong?"

          I turned my head to the side so I could rest my cheek against his shoulder, "I was down memory lane and remember what happened to you. I wish I could kill your father!"

          Derik sighed as he shook his head, "He's paying for his actions, CiCi, don't worry about him. Just think about the fact that I'm here now and I'm fine."

          I nodded, "Derik, I love you and just can't stand thinking about anyone hurt you," I pulled back so I could look up into those pale eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm just a week bit emotional. It's that time of month."

          Derik laughed as he pulled back, "CiCi!" he shook his head, "I really don't need to hear that!"

          I shrugged as I laughed. I couldn't help myself. He was just so cute when he was flustered, "You know you're going to know. You are my best friend."

          Derik rolled his eyes, "Right," he stepped back over to the chair and sat down as he picked up his guitar, "Why are you so worried about this project?"

          I stepped over to the couch and gathered the papers that were strewn across the couch. Maybe thinking before acting should become a regular thing for me… Highly doubt that will happen anytime soon, "This is for my creative writing class and I need to pass. If I get a really good grade in this I will have the confidence to actually publish something," I started to organize the pages and my eyes grew wide as I realized my biggest mistake, "I forgot to number the pages!"

          Derik sat his guitar down before he pushed himself to his feet again. He stepped up behind me and reached around so he could take the fifteen pages from me. I leaned back against him as his hands brushed mine. I wasn't sure why nothing had ever happened between us. I could feel the obvious sexual tension, but he always kept me at a distance. It was almost as if he was afraid of anything happening. It wasn't like he was afraid of getting close. We were as close as two people could be.

          Derik sighed as he pulled away," Why don't you go lie down. You look like you need a bit of rest."

          I nodded as I made my way through his apartment to his room. It wasn't that I wanted anything to happen between us. I knew that if we did start a romantic relationship that it would become extremely serious and if anything went wrong that everything would go wrong.

          And the thought of losing Derik was unbearable…

         I didn't realize I was actually going to fall asleep, but when I opened my eyes and found myself lying in Derik's dark room I realized I had been out for a few hours. How had I been so tired? I got plenty of sleep the night before and I hadn't had to work for a couple of days… I didn't know, but I didn't mind. I always loved to wake up in Derik's bed. It always smelled so good. Like old spice and that fresh clean smell right after it rains. It always put me in a pleasant mood.

         I pushed myself up and looked around the dark room. It was still hard for me to believe that I had fallen asleep, but I shouldn't have been so surprised. I was always so relaxed that I almost always fell asleep at Derik's house. Even if it was while we were watching a movie or even playing games. I would just get comfortable next to Derik and watch him play whatever videogame we were interested in at that time and the next thing I knew I would be shaken awake by Derik's gentle touch as he told me that I should at least lay down before I got a kink in my back.

         Ah, Derik. My sweet Derik.

         The door opened and I turned to see Derik standing there with his hair damp and his usual loose long sleeve sleep shirt on. Was it really late enough for him to be getting ready for bed. I knew he worked first shift, but I didn't think it was that late…

         Derik smiled at me and I knew he could see the confusion plain on my face, "It's only seven, CiCi. I just got bored and decided to take a shower," he ran his hand through his dark hair, "Did you rest well?"

         I nodded as I crawled out of the bed and stretched, "Yep," I straightened my shirt and belt before I ran my hand over my frayed braid, "I love your bed. It's is so comfy," Derik chuckled as he leaned against the doorframe, "So did you read my report?"

         Derik nodded, "I organized it and even numbered the pages for you," I stuck my tongue out at him as he continued, "I have one question for you."

         I stepped over to him, "Shoot!"

         He chuckled. I knew that I amused him more than anything else. I was an amusing person. I never thought before I spoke and I never really cared about what I said after I said it. Derik was the only person I had actually apologized to and meant it, "Is that really how you feel?"

         I cocked my head to the side as I pulled the hair tie out of my hair and started to unravel my braid, "What do you mean?"

         Derik sighed as he pushed himself up straight. I could see by the dark look in his eyes that his next statement was one that would change things. I wasn't sure how, but that pained/frightened look told me all, "Us? That story. It's us."

         I froze as I realized what he was talking about. My last project for my creative writing class was supposed to be a random story about anything we chose to do a romance where the main characters were Daren and Ky Ky. I could see how he made the connection. I hadn't even realized I had done that. The names were so similar and it was about two people that were friends for the longest time before they realized they loved each other more than anything else. Was I really writing about us? Did I want more with Derik? I couldn't deny that the thought was alluring, but he was my best friend and I didn't want to do anything to ruin our friendship. Would adding romance to that be a bad idea? "I don't know. I didn't mean it to be. I just thought it would be a fun story. Kind of funny."

         Derik nodded, "I thought so," he smiled at me, "Have you thought about moving on from platonic?"

         I blinked a few times as I stopped playing with my hair, "Well," I started to chew on my bottom lip, "I've thought about it, but then I always think about how you're my best friend and if anything went wrong everything would go wrong and I don't want anything to happen between us. I don't think I could live without you. The very thought is debilitating and I don't want to chance it. I would rather spend the rest of my life with you by my side than lose you. You're my best friend. I do love you, but I'm afraid that it's not really romantic and I don't know what would happen. And it's just-" I was cut off by Derik's lips against mine.

         He was kissing me! I couldn't believe it!

         Derik pulled back and smiled down at me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. He had been my best friend for six years. We had always been close. We had never had any issues with touching each other, but we had never touched like that. What was I supposed to do? I just didn't know.

         Derik's large hands were on my cheeks as his expression became horrified. He was frightened that he had done something wrong, but I couldn't say it was wrong. I was just dumbstruck. Stupefied. Did I really love Derik in such a way?"

         Finally, after what felt like only moments to me and probably years to Derik, I licked my lips and smiled up at him, "Well," I placed my hand over one of his, "did expect that. Aren't I the one that usually acts before thinking?"

         Derik chuckled and I could feel the relief as it washed over him. I guess it did make sense for us to be more than what we had always been. There had always been a deep connection. I was just too dumb to notice it and Derik was just too timid to act on it. God! I was such an idiot!

         I leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't count the times that I had stood in this very place. The place that always made me feel so right. I was in the arms of my best friend and I had always told myself that I loved it because he was always there for me. I never once thought that it was because there might be something more.

         Derik kissed the top of my head as I heard his sweet voice drift down to me, "Believe me, CiCi, I've been thinking about that for quite some time…"

         I chuckled as I pulled back and looked up into those pale eyes. It was then that my mind started to wander. Just because I had started something new with Derik didn't mean that I was off memory lane. Oh, the places the mind went…

         It was prom. Derik and I had been friends for nearly four months, it took him some time to open up to me. I was standing in my room as I looked at myself in the full length mirror. I had thought I looked horrible. My mother hands't let me get the dress that I had wanted and she had picked out a plain black dress with a square neckline and three quarter's length bell sleeves. Thinking back, that dress was simply beautiful, but I had wanted to wear something a bit more revealing. I wanted to be taken notice of and it just wasn't going to happen in that dress.

         There was a light tapping at my door and I turned to see Markus standing there in the doorway. His dark hair falling into his eyes and he was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a T-shirt. He didn't have a girlfriend and had no desire to go to prom, "Derik's here," he gave me a simple lopsided grin before he added, "You look really nice, Sis."

         I rolled my eyes as I looked at myself again. My riotous curls were piled on top of my head as a messy next that the birds had even abandoned, but that was the way my hair always was. There was no controlling my hair and that was why I always wore it in braids, "Right," I shrugged it off as I stepped over to him, "Dad's not giving me away for my first prom?"

         Markus had shook his head and held his hand out to me, "He's at work. There was an emergency."

         I nodded, "Right," I sighed as Markus led me out of my room and down the hall to the stairs. I loved my family, I really did, but being the middle child, especially when the oldest was an MVP and valedictorian and the youngest were twins, I was kind of forgotten periodically. For the most part I was used to it, but at times it still stung. Dad would be there for Hannah and Jewel…

         I descended the stairs to find Derik standing in the front room. He might have looked frightened, that was normal, but he still looked amazing. His mop of black hair had been combed out of his face and I finally got to see how perfect his features really were. He was wearing a simple black tux with a black shirt and black tie. I wasn't sure I had seen anyone look more dashing and it was that impish smile he gave me that made him seem so much cuter.

         Derik fumbled with the little black box he had in his hands for a few moments as he stumbled over his words, "CiCi, you, I've never," he stopped and took a deep breath as he opened the box to show me a small orchid corsage, "You look beautiful."

         I cursed myself as I thought about that night. It was our first prom and had gone to all four proms together. I should have known that night that Derik liked me. I should have known that I liked him. I still couldn't find many men that I found more appealing that Derik, "I am so stupid."

         Derik cocked his head to the side as his expression became curious, "CiCi?"

         I chuckled as I shook my head, "Our first prom," I sighed, "You liked me as far back as our first prom."

         Derik nodded, "Yes," he sighed, "I wasn't sure how you felt," he stopped, "Actually, I'm still not sure how you feel. CiCi?"

         I chuckled as I pulled him down for a quick kiss, "You silly man!" I shook my head, "I do love you! Why did you wait so long!"

         Derik gave me that very impish smile that I loved, "It's one of the reasons that you love me."

         I chuckled as I placed my hands against his chest, "Oh, Derik!" I shook my head, "You silly man!"

         Markus just smiled at us as we stepped through the door. I should have known that everyone in my family would have guessed. It was just irritating that not a single person thought it would be a good idea to bring it up. Poor Derik had been suffering for years and they all could have ended it! Pricks!

         Hannah and Jewel ran into the room to greet us. This was the first time that Derik was stepping into my parents' house as my boyfriend and my little sisters were excited. They had always liked Derik. He was also so soft spoken and even when they did do something wrong he had just smiled at them and shook his head. It was strange thinking about how different Derik and I were. I was the most temperamental person I could think of and then Derik was the most passive person I've ever known. Maybe that's why I loved him. Even when I did get mad he just sat there and listened to me.

         Hannah and Jewel shoved me aside as they stepped up to Derik, "Oh Em Gee!" I rolled my eyes at their exaggerated expression, "Are you going to be our new brother! That would be sooooo coool!"

         Derik just stared down at my younger sisters. I just stared down at my younger sisters. We had only kissed the day before. We hadn't even thought about the fact that we were romantically involved. We hadn't talked about anything other than the fact that we couldn't go back to just being friends. We were so much more.

         Markus chuckled, breaking the awkward silence, "Hannah, Jewel," they both turned to him, their dark eyes wide, "you're both fifteen. You should know better than to ask that."

         Hannah rolled her eyes, "But, Marky," she whined, a sound that was like nails on a chalkboard to me, "they've been together for so long. Wouldn't you expect them to have already bumped uglies!"

         Derik and I both sent a horrified glance to each other. Yeah, I loved Derik, but that wasn't what I had thought about when we kissed. I had thought about the fact that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. Maybe we would get married. Maybe we would have carnal relations. That just wasn't the big topic at the time.

         "Hannah!" Markus snapped, "You're fifteen! You shouldn't talk like that."

         Jewel scoffed, "Right, like you didn't talk like this when you were fifteen. If I remember right you lost your virginity at sixteen."

         My hand slapped over my mouth as I held back a squeak of surprise. I knew that Markus wasn't a virgin. I knew when he lost it. I knew who he had lost it to, but the twins were only nine. How did they know such a thing? Why did they know such a thing? I hadn't wanted to know. The only reason I did know was because our parents took me in my room and talked to me about the birds and the bees. The conversation scaring the crap out of me and causing me to make a pledge to myself to wait until marriage.

         Markus shook his head, "I'm not going to have this conversation with you two," he glanced over the twins and cocked an amused brow, "So, Derik, how do you feel now that you can finally say you've kissed CiCi?"

         I turned towards Derik to see that his eyes were wide as he stumbled over his response, "I-I, it's, I," he shook his head and I couldn't keep myself from smiling at him. He was such a timid person. I was the only one he didn't fumble over his words with. I was the only person that saw that he wasn't truly a timid person. He was strong and capable, "I'm overjoyed."

         Markus nodded as I grabbed Derik's hand. The man was so sweet. God, I loved Derik!

         Derik squeezed my hand to let me know that he was okay and I smiled at him. I was the only one that saw how strong he really was. The man had carried me through the worst parts in my life and I liked to think I was strong.

         "I really don't like that boy," I had froze when my mother spoke of Derik, "He seems off. I don't want you spending any more time with him."

         How could anyone say anything bad about Derik? He was the sweetest person anyone could find. He had only ever met my mother one time besides prom and he had been his usual timid self. She didn't like the fact that he was a decent human being that was dealt a very bad hand, "You don't even know him! There is nothing wrong with him!"

         My mother had waved the knife that she had been cutting the vegetables for dinner with at me, "You've only known him for a short while. You have no idea what type of boy he is. He could just be playing you. I don't want to see you pregnant."

         I glared at the woman before me. Never had she judges someone before and it irritated me than anything else. That was probably due to the fact that it was Derik that she was judging, "He was abused as a child, mom! You have no idea what he's like and I know it's not a play. Derik is kind and I don't care what you say. I'm going to spend time with him whether you like it or not!"

         -I pulled back from Derik to see the wet spot on his shirt from where I had been crying. Derik had been my friend for only seven months, but he was always my best friend. He held me when I cried. He listened to me as I told him exactly what my mother had said. I had been furious up until the part where I looked over to see that Derik was nodding in agreement with my mother. He saw where she was coming from and didn't want to cross the woman. The boy was just too good to be true.

         He had turned to me and I saw the defeated look in his pale eyes. I saw that he was hurt, but he wasn't going to say anything bad about my mother. He understood where she was coming from and he was too frightened to cross anyone. That knowledge pained me. It broke my head and I had broken down in tears. I begged Derik to never leave me. I begged him to always be my friend and he promised to never let me go. He promised and he made well on that promise by being the only one that actually cared when I cried. The only one that held me and comforted me when everyone else told me to grow up and get over it. My Derik.

         My mother stepped into the front room and gave Derik that quaint smile that let me know just how much she disliked the fact that Derik was over for a family dinner. I didn't care what she thought, but I knew that Derik as well. I could feel it as his grip on my hand loosened and his touch was once again light. The man was frightened of my mother.

         My father was right behind her and I could see the irritation in his gaze. He liked Derik, I knew that because Derik had actually taken a step back the first time he met my father, but he felt he needed to feel stern with my first boyfriend, "Boy!" my father stepped across the room to greet Derik, "It's nice to see that my girl found a respectable man that I won't have to kill for hurting her."

         "Daddy!" I snapped as Derik literally pulled away and stepped back against the door, "Shut up!"

         My father cocked his head to the side. I had told my father that Derik was the child of an abusive father, but my father never understood. He always joked around about hurting Derik if he ever hurt me. Never before had he said something about killing, though. I couldn't believe what was happening. I had finally accepted Derik as my boyfriend and everyone, other than Markus, was making fun of us. I guess they all knew and I deserved to get a good ribbing because of it, but Derik didn't!

         I cast a cool glower around the room at the four people that had given me so much strife, "I can't believe all of you! What the hell is wrong with you! Why can't you be nice for a change!" I turned and grabbed Derik's hand as I pulled him out the door. He didn't deserve to deal with my family. I had always given them so much trouble that I understood exactly why the hassled me, but not Derik!

         Derik pulled me to a stop as we neared his car. I didn't understand why he wanted me to stop, "CiCi," I turned and looked up into those beautiful pale eyes, "are you okay?"

         I nodded before I looked at the ground. He didn't seem upset that my entire family was making fun of him. It pissed me off to no end, but Derik was perfectly fine with it, "I can't stand them at time! My father threated you and," I sighed as I looked into those beautiful eyes again, "you were frightened. You shouldn't have to be like that. Never again!"

         "Do you really want to know, CiCi!" it was the question that was permanently burnt into my brain. It was the very question that Derik had asked me only a week after we met. I had irritated him so much that he had turned to me, his eyes bright with unshed tears, "Do you want to know the nightmare I came from?"

         I stepped up to him as I nodded, "Yes," I smiled at him, "I want to know everything."

         Derik sighed as his shoulders sagged. It wasn't until right then that I saw how horrible it had to be, "My father started beating me when I was five years old. If I spoke I was taught my lesson. It didn't matter what it was I said. I was beaten, CiCi," it was at this point that a single tear slid down his cheek, "My father nearly beat me to death. I was in the hospital for three weeks, two of those in a mini coma," he pulled his sleeves back at this point to show me the bruises that covered his arms, "See this, CiCi. This is what I came from. This is what is wrong with me. Are you sure you still want to be my friend?"

         I had looked up into those pained eyes at that moment and the tears started to stream down my cheeks. He had thought that by telling me the horror story that I would run away. Most people didn't like to deal with someone with so much baggage, but I couldn't leave this boy. He was only fifteen. I stepped up to him and wrapped my arms around his slender waist, "Derik," it was the only word that escaped my lips before my body was taken over by the sobs. No one should have anything like that in their life.

         Derik tensed a moment before he wrapped his arms around me and I felt him shake with his silent sobs. It was that very moment when we became friends. It was then that he allowed himself to show his courageous side around me.

         "CiCi, don't worry about me," he gave me that impish grin, "I'm fine. I can defend myself now," he placed his hands on my shoulder, "You know that. I know that. I just don't like the idea of fighting."

         A heavy sigh escaped as I nodded, "Okay, I still don't like the comments. You know me," I smiled at him, "I'm a bit temperamental."

         Derik nodded, "Yep, your rage is fiery and I love it," he leaned down and gave me a simple kiss, "So do you want to go back in there or do you want to go out and get something. It'll be something like our first date," he stopped as his gaze became thoughtful, "Though, I'm sure that it won't be much different than any other time we've gone out together."

         I rolled my eyes as I pushed him, "Derik!" he laughed and I couldn't keep myself from smiling, "You are such a strange man!"

         Derik nodded, "Have to be. I do love you."

         I stuck my tongue out at him as he tucked a stray curl behind my ear, "Oh, bite me, Derik!"

Derik and I were sitting in a small diner down the street from my house. It was the middle of winter and neither of us had a vehicle so we just decided to go to the nearest place. It was a place that I didn't even know existed.

Three months into our friendship and he was still as timid as could be, "Derik, relax," I smiled across the table as he pulled his sleeves down over his hands, "We're the only ones in here."

He nodded as that pale gaze darted around the small area, "I-I know, but," his entire form stiffened as the door opened and two laughing men stepped into the diner, "It's j-just that," his slender hands wrapped around the edge of the table, "I-I don't," he shook his head as I noticed that his knuckles were white, "It's still hard."

I reached across the table and placed my gloved hand on his, "Hey," I offered him a sweet smile, "I have an idea," I paused to make sure that I had his undivided attention, "Why don't we both take self-defense classes? Together?"

Derik's gaze became incredulous. He couldn't believe what I had just said. He was completely against violence and I knew that, but I had a great counter argument planned, "I don't want to fight, CiCi."

"I know," I nodded as I began my debate, "but you don't have to fight. It'll give you more confidence and technically you can't fight if you get advanced enough."

Derik sighed as he looked down at the placemat sitting on the table in front of him, "You've thought this through."

I nodded as I beamed, "I have," I leaned forward, "I actually kind of signed us up for a beginner course. What do you say?"

"Fine," Derik let out a defeated sigh before he shrugged, "just remember that I'm only doing this for you."

"I know," I squeezed his hand before I let go, "Thank you, and I'm doing it for you."

I slid into the booth as I thought about that first time. It was really hard for me to not reminisce at this time in my life. I was finally with Derik and I was thinking about all the signs that I had been there and I was working on my greatest project yet. It was all I could do. Thinking about all that had happened to get to this point in my life was amazing.

"You've been quiet," I looked up at Derik's light voice to see that he was leaning forward with his elbows on the table, "You okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah," I sighed, "I'm just thinking about the first time we came here," I smiled, "How I convinced you to take self-defense classes."

Derik smiled, "Never would have done it if it weren't for you," he reached across the table and grabbed my hand, "Why have you been taking these treks down memory lane recently?"

I rolled my eyes as I looked around, "Well, haven't you?"

"Can't say that I have."

Of course he hadn't. He knew how long he had liked me. There was nothing for him to really think about, "Oh, since we're together and all. It's just amazing all the signs that I missed."

"Yeah," I glared at him and he just chuckled, "You know I'm playing with you. Sometimes it's the most obvious things that you miss. I do it all the time."

"With what!"

Derik laughed at me again, "CiCi," he shook his head, "it's things like this that people don't notice. They're too afraid to admit it and it just slips past them."

I sighed. He had a point. I had seen it happen more often than not. Two people would be obviously into each other, but they wouldn't really notice. Most guy/girl friends were all about it, but they never noticed it. Derik and I were a prime example, "Right," I shrugged it off as the waitress finally stepped over to us. The very same waitress we had had that day.

The woman, Maggie, smiled down at the two of us, "Hey, CiCi," she looked over at Derik, "Derik. How are you two today?"

I lifted my hand, the one that Derik was still holding onto to as I smiled up at her, "We're official!"

Maggie chuckled as Derik's grip tightened. I knew he hated it when I did such things, but Maggie was like a mother to both of us. After six years, she was the only other person that Derik seemed to be remotely calm around, "Well, it's about time you two," she shook her head, "So, how did it happen? Did he finally just sweep you off your feet?"

I laughed as I let our hands rest on the table, "No, it was kind of a slip up by me," I shrugged, "I wrote a short story for my creative writing class and he read it. Well," I looked down at the table as I thought over that night, "the story was about two people that had been friends for a little while and ended up in a romantic relationship."

"She didn't realize that she was really writing about us, but I did."

I stuck my tongue out at Derik as Maggie chuckled, "He asked me about it and then managed to find to courage to just kiss me," I looked across the table and I knew I had that dream look in my eyes. It was one hell of a kiss…

Maggie sighed, "You two are too cute," she shrugged as she stuck her hands in her apron, "Are you two going to want the usual?"

Derik and I both nodded as Maggie hurried away to place our orders, "Well," I looked over to see that Derik was looking down at the placemat, "you still haven't found that tenth spoon have you?"

My gaze narrowed on him a moment before I shoved my placemat to the side, "Oh, pooh on you," he chuckled as my mind started to drift again. That stupid placemat was going to haunt me for the rest of my life…

"Hey," I looked up from the placemat to see that Derik's pale gaze was locked on the door. Something had him spooked and I was just trying to take his mind off of whatever it was, "look at your placemat."

Derik blinked a few times as if he was coming back to reality. He had been my friend over nearly a year and we were at the diner again. We went to the place all the time before he got his car and then for some reason we just wouldn't stop. It wasn't that it was such a good place. It was probably because there was rarely more than half a dozen other people there at a time, "What about it?"

I looked down at my mat as I went to explain, "It says that there are ten spoons hidden in the different advertisements. I've found three."

There was a light chuckle from Derik a moment before he responded, "Found them all."

My eyes grew wide as I looked up across the table at him, "What! You spent, like, five seconds looking for them. There is no way you found them all!"

Derik looked up at me through his lashes, "Do you want me to point them out to you?"

I glared at him, "No," I sighed, "I want to find them myself. Don't even think about telling me. No matter how long it takes me."

"I still curse myself for telling you not to tell me no matter what."

Derik laughed as he leaned back in the booth seat, "It just makes for an amusing time," I sent a sharp look in his direction, but it didn't faze him. He knew that I wasn't mad at him. I didn't think I would ever be mad at him and he knew that, "So," his expression became serious, "we need to discuss what's happening."

My eyes grew wide. I knew that this was coming, but I didn't want to think that there was anything that was going to change between us. I should have known that things were going to change. Many things were going to change, "Okay…"

Derik sighed, "I know we've been avoiding this, but," he sat up straight, "we can't any longer," he glanced out the window behind me, "it's getting late and I know that you're going to pass out at my place if we go back there. We need to figure out exactly what's going to happen with that."

I looked over my shoulder out the window. He was right. There was a good chance that I was going to go back over to his house to spend some more time with him and I always fell asleep at his place, "What do you mean? I usually slept on the couch. Don't you think it's a little too soon to change that up?"

Derik nodded, "I do, but I was just making sure you felt the same way, though," he sighed, "I always felt bad making you sleep on the couch."

I rolled my eyes, "Not going to change," he nodded, "What else is there to figure out?"

He sighed, "So many other things," he looked past me, "First of all, kissing."

Well, that hadn't been what I had been expecting. What did he want to discuss about kissing. I didn't quite understand, "What about it?"

He gave me that impish grin of his, "I don't know the exact protocol on that. We've been friends for so long and we've never been afraid to hold hands, but what about kissing?"

I leaned across the table and grabbed the collar of his shirt, "Whenever you want," I pulled him to me and gave him a quick kiss, "Though, you don't have to be quite as forward as that."

Derik chuckled as I let go of his collar and we both fell back into our seats. It was so strange kissing him. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but it was still weird. He was my best friend and usually people didn't think about kissing their best friends. Though, once I kissed him I could barely think about doing anything else.

He was my Derik and I really did love the man.

Derik and I were both sitting on his couch as he played a game. The X-box 360 controller in his hands. I would have been playing with him, but it was a one player game and he was always fun to watch. He would be so focused on what he was doing that I could slip out of the room without him noticing. I guess he enjoyed being able to control everything about the character he was playing.

Derik jumped as something came out of a dark cave at him and I couldn't keep myself from laughing. Even if the threat was virtual, he was still so jumpy. Ah, how I loved that man.

I was stepping into Derik's house for the first time. I was a sophomore and he was a senior. Our friendship had lasted a year and it seemed that it was never going to end. The boy was just so sweet and soft spoken, something that even back then I knew I needed to find in a man. If I ever found anyone as bull headed as I would it would be the end of the world.

"So, um, yeah," Derik looked around the front room as he tried to think, "This is where I live. My aunt and uncle should be home soon," he paused as he looked back over his shoulder at me, "Right," he nodded as his fear subsided. It really did make a girl feel good to know that a guy was reassured just by looking at her, "The X-box is in my room so I'll go get it."

I nodded as I stepped over to the couch and sat down in front of the TV. The place was actually really nice. A little bland, my mother had this habit of decorating for the season. Seventeen large tubs of decorations for each month. So the 'blah' of the house was actually rather refreshing.

In just a few moments, Derik was back out in the front room with an X-box and two controllers in his hands, "You said you liked Halo?" I nodded as I leaned forward, "I only have that and Morrowind right now. So is Halo okay?"

I nodded again as I watched him go about hooking the console up to the TV, "What's Morrowind?"

Derik turned towards me with wide eyes, "Amazing."

I laughed. I just had to laugh. I had never gotten such a reaction from the boy, "Show it to me," Derik nodded as he hurried to finish what he was doing, "What type of game is it? RTS? First person shooter? RPG?"

"RPG," he responded as he plugged the A/V jacks into the front of the TV, "It's set in a medieval-esque time period and it's got elves and argonians."

"Argonians?"

Derik chuckled. I had to have this strange look on my face. I had heard quite a few different words and mythical species, but I had never heard that one, "Yeah," he stood up and stepped over to plug the cord into the wall, "Argonians. They're lizard people. They're my favorite."

Again, I laughed. He was so excited to show me this game. I just couldn't tell him no. He enjoyed RPGs, but I wasn't the biggest fan. Well, that was until he showed me that game.

"You're unusually quiet," I jumped as Derik draped his arm over my shoulders, "Even for watching me play. What's up?"

I rolled my eyes as he just ignored my initial reaction, "I'm just thinking about the first time I played one of The Elder Scrolls games," I leaned over so I was basically laying in his lap, "You had been so excited. I found it so funny."

Derik cocked an amused brow as he looked down at me, "You've really been reminiscing a lot recently. Does our new status really make that much difference?"

"Oh, no," I shook my head as my final report went through my head. It was the greatest tale I could think of. The man that was going to be part of my life forever, "I'm just in one of those moods."

He shrugged as he returned his attention to the game, "Okay," he lightly rubbed my arm before he continued to play the game. It was just great to be with the man. He was everything I ever wanted. My Derik. Mine.

"Where have you been young lady!" my mother's shrill voice rang out as I slipped in through the back door of the house. I should have known better than trying that way. My mother always woke up early and made breakfast so that meant that she was always in the kitchen, right by the back door. Though, I was sure that my father was sitting on the chair in the front room with the morning paper. The only way I could have managed to sneak into the house was by climbing in through my window, but there was no way I could manage that. My parents made sure that the lattice work that had been by my window had been removed by the time I was nine. There had been some, but my parents never thought they would be able to trust me, "Felicity!"

I offered the woman a meek smile, "I just stepped outside for a short while."

"At five in the morning. In the very same clothes you were wearing yesterday?"

That's when my father had appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room, "CiCi…"

As I looked up into my father's bright gaze I knew that I couldn't lie to him. I was always a daddy's girl. My mother and I had never gotten along, but I loved my father, "I was out with Derik and I lost track of time," my father's eyes grew wide as I hurried to interject, "He didn't sleep near me. He refused…"

Well, I was never one of the brightest people around, "You wanted him to?"

My gaze darted back and forth between my parents. What could I say to get myself out of such a thing, "Well, I wouldn't mind. It's not like I want to sleep with him. Gah!" I stuck my tongue out in disgust, "I'm only sixteen!"

"He's eighteen, CiCi," of course my mother was the one that tried to say something about Derik wanting to go somewhere, "You can't take chances. You're grounded for a month."

My eyes grew wide. Why was I grounded for a month? Markus had snuck out all the time and gotten caught. Even after he had been found sleeping with his girlfriend he had only been grounded from his car keys. As long as someone picked him up he was allowed to go anywhere, "But-"

"No, young lady!" my mother cut me off as she turned back around to finish cooking breakfast, "Now, get ready for school. I'm going to drive you."

My eyes snapped open as I remembered that morning. It had been the very first time I had slept at Derik's place. It was his aunt and uncle's place and Derik had slept on the couch, downstairs, and I had still gotten in trouble. I didn't receive a talk like Markus had. I had only heard the accusations against my Derik.

"You okay, CiCi?" I let out a light sigh as I looked up and realized that I had fallen asleep in Derik's lap, "Bad dream?"

I nodded as I sat up and looked him over. He was twenty-two and had yet to make a move on me. This man was too good. He was the reason I was never in trouble. My parents, namely my mother, didn't realize that if I didn't have Derik that I would probably have been pregnant at seventeen. What my mother tried so hard to protect me from with Derik was exactly what Derik protected me from, "Memory," I mumbled as my mind wandered back to that day. I had been furious as I went to school and vented to Derik. Of course the boy had just agreed with my mother. Always the good guy.

"What?"

"The first day I fell asleep at your place. How I got grounded for a month just because my mother hates you."

"Oh, that," Derik stretched as he shrugged, "That was years ago, CiCi, don't worry about it."

"She still hates you, Derik," I shook my head as I crawled into his lap as I looked into those beautiful pale eyes, "You are too good to hate."

Derik's arms slipped around my waist as he smiled, "I'm really not that great."

"Bull!" I snapped, "You are amazing!"

I was at Derik's house as soon as my grounding had ended. I was so excited to just sit down and play X-box with him. It had quickly become my favorite past time. Though, I wasn't sure whether it was because of Derik or because I loved to play.

It was getting late and I was pissed with my parents so I wanted to sleep over at Derik's again. I knew the time and I was waiting for it to get to be too late, "Oh, crap," Derik stood up as he hit the pause button, "I need to get you home."

"Nah," I smiled at him, "I don't need to get home. Screw them."

"CiCi," Derik had sighed as he stepped over and sat his controller down on the console, "don't."

I gave him an innocent look, "What?"

"Get yourself in trouble. It's childish and will only make things worse. Your parents have rules for a reason. Because they love you," the boy shuddered as he shook his head, "I never had any rules to follow, CiCi, and…"

"Derik!" I jumped up from the couch and stepped over to him. I wrapped my arms around him, "Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, CiCi, don't be," he gave me a quick hug before he pulled away, "I'm okay now," he gave me that lopsided grin of his, "Hey, if I wouldn't have went through that I wouldn't have a friend like you."

I narrowed my gaze on him, "I am not worth years of abuse."

"You don't know how much you're worth."

"You don't know how much you're worth," I mumbled those words as I thought back to then. He loved me even back then. The man was willing to say that it was worth it to be with me. What did he see in me? What? "Why? What is there to like about me?"

Derik placed his hand on my cheek as he sighed, "Everything. I love that you persisted. You stayed with me through all my issues. You held me even when I pushed you away," he gave me a quick kiss, "And that you're so open. I hate having to guess. I'm always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. With you, I don't have to worry about that."

"Derik," a single tear slipped down my cheek, "And you say you're not great," I leaned forward and rested my head against his chest. This was my Derik. The man that went through hell and said it was worth it. Nothing is worth that. Nothing. Especially not me...