Indigo

: ABRAHAM :

The Princess and the Key

 

Chapter One: A Stray Feather

 

We are all just stray fathers,

Floating on the wind,

Which one of us will fall first?

 

            Alex was in darkness.  She had been for the past few weeks.  Every night, as she slept, clouds rolled in.  They suffocated her, pressured her, and crushed her underneath.  No matter how hard she pushed she couldn’t lift the sky.

            While lying flat against the ground she would hear it—the Voice.  It shook the foundations of the world with each mighty word.  Sometimes it sounded like a sledge hammer cracking stone.  Other times it sounded like the gentle movements of the sea.  Always, it was larger than life.

            It told her the same thing night after night.  “A storm is coming, and you are at its center.  Trust not false friends and false lovers.  Trust not illusions of peace.  There is an enemy in your midst, and only you can stop them.”

            It was prophetic, she knew, but hollow.  Every morning she woke with her skin clammy and her heart banging hard against her ribs, and she couldn’t remember a thing except for the shadows and the weight of it all.

            Her roommate woke her this day.  Alex could hardly hear her over the roll of thunder that was the voice.  She didn’t wake until Ellen shook her.  Then, she shot up right into the ceiling and then fell back down, cringing and clutching her head.

            “Alex!  Are you okay?”

            Alex grunted.

            “I’m so sorry, I was just trying…”

            “What do you want?”

             “Well, I was just thinking you might want to go to class.”

            “When does class start?”

            “Oh…”  Ellen looked back at the alarm clock.  “About five minutes ago.”

            Alex rolled from the bed and landed lithely on the ground before becoming a whirlwind of motion.  Ellen watched in shock as Alex stripped her clothes, threw on what both girls hoped were clean clothes, grabbed an old banana from the top of the mini-fridge and then rushed out the door with a brief and hurried, “Thanks.”

            Ellen shook her head but smiled.  This was their routine now.  Alex always slept in.  Ellen always woke her, or she at least tried to.  Her success rate wasn’t flattering.  They were paired off as roommates earlier that year and over that time built up something of a friendship, with Ellen being clearly more invested.  Still, Ellen liked Alex.

            She grabbed the clothes Alex left on the floor and threw them into the dirty clothes.  Then, she grabbed a towel and her shower caddy.  Today was her day off from classes, and while she did have some errands to run, she wanted to take the day at a leisurely pace and enjoy it.

            After her shower Ellen put on a plain t-shirt, a pink jacket, grey sweat pants, and her favorite yellow tennis shoes and then left the dorms.  She took headphones and a music player with her and sifted through her music until she found something that suited her mood.

            It was sunny out, early spring, and the sky was clear and blue.  The chill of winter faded slowly and struggled into mid-morning.  Once a week, Ellen walked to the local grocery store.  She could drive, but she enjoyed the exercise and found this to be her form of meditation.  It was a private joy, and the ritual of it was comforting.

            The air warmed as she walked, and by arrival she had stripped her jacket and wrapped it firmly about her waist.  The school she and Alex went to was a small community college of little notoriety.  The town, while small, hardly seemed to notice its presence.  They kept the campus tucked discreetly in the corner where the students living there couldn’t get into too much trouble.

            The dormitories were isolated even from that.  It was a small building in the shape of a T and housed both men and women, though they were kept to separate halls.  There were few spaces.  Members of their official teams—the Ostriches and Lady Ostriches—got the first spots.  Everyone else had to get lucky.

            After doing some light shopping, Ellen made her return with a single bag in hand.  Outside of the shopping mart there was a steep hill leading up to an open field.  Her return journey would take her through a small apartment complex and then across a soccer field that the school rented out to a local micro-soccer league.  The sun was out now, shining bright and warm, and Ellen smiled and embraced it.

            She didn’t know what the day would bring, but she was excited to find out.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Meanwhile, on campus, Alex just reached the library.  The H. James Library, built in 1987, was a small, square building that housed a rather unimpressive assortment of texts and a few old computers.  Large windows granted a view of the library’s interior.  The rest of the building was made of up student advisors and classrooms. 

            She sprinted across the brick walk way and into the glossy interior.  The halls were empty, a bad sign indicating how tardy she was.  In the foyer she had to stop to catch her breath and rest her legs.  They felt like jelly from the short jog over.

            The class started at eleven in the morning.  Alex woke at eleven o’ five—a mistake she was repeated with increasing frequency.  She had considered dropping the class but feared how her parents would react.  Getting an education didn’t mean much to her, but it meant the world to them, and she didn’t want to keep disappointing them.

            After regaining her breath, she started running again, hoping to arrive early enough to find her teacher’s good graces.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Miles away, in the heart of the town, Van sat alone in a darkened room.  He stared at the large, oak desk in front of him.  Though he couldn’t see them, worn books and scattered pages were spread out before him.  He started his mornings this way, and he ended his nights this way. 

            This was his daily routine, his meditation.  His life was so full of experience that everything felt like it was on constant repeat.  He clearly recalled the loss of his childhood home, the death of his family and his sister, the disappearance of his wife, and each morning he remembered them all over again.  It always led him to the same conclusion, and the same questions.

            “How ethical would it be for me to use Isaac?”

            Van’s son, Isaac, was undoubtedly strong of mind and body.  He took after Van in many ways.  They shared the same hair, the same youthful face, the same lean figure, the same quick mind.  The only difference was in the darkness of Isaac’s skin and the color of his eyes—both legacies of his missing mother.

            Isaac was something of a prodigy, as Van was proud to admit.  He started training almost from birth and excelled.  In only a few short years he could hear the Voice.  Not long after that he could understand it, comprehend it, and eventually came to harness it.  In time, Van expected Isaac’s brilliance to surpass even his own.

            What Van needed was a pawn, though, not a prodigy.  Regardless, he needed a legacy as even more, and Isaac was the best option.  The only thing keeping Van were his lingering regrets, and even those could not sustain him for long.  Soon, he would follow his family into the void.

            He put his glasses on and turned on the lamp. Shortly after, the door to his private office opened and light spilled in.  Van winced and looked at his son, who stood in the doorway like a picture of days long past.

            “Dad.”

            “What,” Van grunted while sifting through his papers and putting them into neat piles on the desk.

            “I feel something,” Isaac said.  He paused to search for the right words.  “Something’s wrong, something that doesn’t belong here.”

            Van nodded.  He moved stiffly, far too stiffly for someone of his age.  He scooped up a large, old book and licked his finger before flipping it open to a specific page.  “Isaac, have you heard the myth of the Princess and the Key?”

            “What,” Isaac asked.  He stepped into the room proper and said, “No.”

            Isaac smiled humorlessly.  “Then I have quite the story for you.  You see, once upon a time there was a palace that floated through the sky.  It was a place known to connect the hearts of the people with the heart of God…”

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            The incline of the hill was always sharper than she remembered and partway up she started to feel a burn.  Her breathing increased, sweat built up across her flesh and, as usual, she came to regret an early morning shower before her walk, but she figured another shower couldn’t hurt.

            She kept walking, forcing one step after another and using her music to distract her from her shortening breath.  At the top of the hill she came to a stop before a long, winding road that led to the back of the grocery store for deliveries.  There were no cars, so she hurried across and started her trek through the empty field ahead.

            On the way she met a thicket of spindly, black winter-worn trees.  A gentle breeze rattled the branches and made the rising grass around it sway.  Ellen entered the thicket without a thought and was nearly through when she came to a stop.  In her peripheral she spotted something—something large, black, and hiding in the bushes.

            Her first instinct was to stop and run, but when it didn’t react to her, she decided to hurry on by and hope it wasn’t dangerous.  She was out of thicket and halfway to the duplexes when her curiosity got the better of it.  Whatever it was, it didn’t react to her at all.  So, she returned to examine it, the mystery having hooked her like the poor little fish she was.

            Looking straight at it she found its details became more defined, and once she stood over it she saw that it wasn’t a creature at all.  It was a small child, a girl to be precise.  Ellen couldn’t tell how old she was, just that she was very, very small.  Her hair, dark like a crow’s feather, was long enough to be wrapped around her like a cocoon, and her skin, while caked with dirt, was pale as a moon light.

            Ellen kneeled down and poked the girl, who didn’t respond.  Then, Ellen rolled her carefully onto her back and made sure she was breathing.  She was, thankfully, but that left Ellen with a decision to make.

            She looked around anxiously, as if she were to be scolded, and then scooped the girl up in her arms.  She was even smaller than she looked, Ellen found, and lighter, too.  Ellen stood and turned, and she took the girl with her back to the dorm.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Things had changed since Riis was last here.  There were streets now, and cars, blaring their horns at one another and at her.  She passed by without a care, ignoring them as they screeched to a halt before her.  She didn’t fear them

            She moved like a wolf, her tall, wiry frame being lithe.  Her hair was short and her face long and looking more boyish than feminine.  She carried herself like a soldier though or at least someone who has seen death.  She seemed assured, and her eyes were crazed.

            People stared as she passed by, but she looked past them and through them.  She just kept walking and wore a thin, vicious smile.  It was like a gash cut across her face.  From all the way across town she could feel them, and they were all that mattered.  Everyone else was white noise, insects surrounding and offending her.

            The air was acrid and greasy and the buildings taller and sturdier than she remembered.  The people were weak and soft.  They weren’t deserving of life.  Even those of merit were untrained and untested.  They bore potential and little else to speak of.

            She wanted more and searched the crevices and caverns of the city.  She called out to people’s souls and listened to them.  In the dark recesses she found two more.  One was a wealth of knowledge and power—the one she had been warned about.  The other was weaker and younger, but he was skilled in his own right.

            They made her hungry for violence and death, but they still weren’t right.

            She searched longer and deeper, and after what felt like an eternity found it.  It was small and shaken, and it was very lonely and confused, but it shined brightly in the darkness.  It was somewhere far off, but it was there, and it was not alone.

            Riis turned toward the school, her hands in her pockets, and her heart set on blood.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            And living in the castle was a Princess.  It was her duty to watch over the people and communicate their wants, their needs, to God.  In a way, she spoke to the earth and translated their words for the heavens to hear.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Alex sat in the back.  She always sat in the back.  The students in the front drew too much attention.  Her goal was to avoid attention as much as possible.

            When she first started college, the semester before, she was a decent student.  She arrived at classes in a timely manner, and she put forth minimal effort.  That was enough.  Even though she didn’t excel, she survived.  Few asked for more out of her, and she liked it that way.

            Her second semester started very much the same but took a sharp turn early on.  She was never much of a mathematician, nor a scientist or historian, and she had no illusions of that.  School was for her parents.  Her focus was and would remain elsewhere.

            Of all of her classes, Alex assumed philosophy would be the easiest.  Then she started missing days, and that quickly caught up with her.  The teacher, a handsome middle-aged man with a thick head of hair and kind eyes, grew tired of her games early on.  Her late arrival that day was not met with understanding but with growing ire.

            Alex sat in the library and waited for the webpage to load.  She was slumped in her chair, her dark hair draped over her face like blinders, and her arms over her chest.  Everything about her kept the world at bay.

            She had one chance to pass the class: an essay.  Her teacher told her that he felt like she didn’t have direction, that she didn’t know who she was or what she wanted.  He was right, but what he didn’t know was that it didn’t matter to Alex.  So, when he assigned her an essay about the meaning of life, she wouldn’t contemplate these things.  She would just do the research and turn something in because she had to pass.  She had to keep her parent’s from worrying.

            The computer didn’t load.  No matter how long she waited it simply didn’t move.  Growing tired of it, she finally decided to grab a couple of books and do it the old fashion way.  She left the library with her arms full and walked straight into another student.  He stood solid, as if she were a light breeze.  She landed hard on her rump and let the books tumble to the ground around her.

            “Oh, I’m sorry, wasn’t paying attention,” he said.  His voice was smooth and attractive, and his face was just the same.  He had a boyish charm and bright green eyes, and when he smiled it felt like a sunrise.

            Alex normally wasn’t one to fawn over cute boys but staring up at him she couldn’t help but blush. “No, it’s my fault,” she said while getting to her knees.  She gathered her things with his help.  Their hands met and a small shock ran through her fingers, running up her smile and forming a small smile on her face.  She hid it behind her hair and avoided eye contact.

            No one made her feel this way.  No one pulled her into the present and made her feel real, but this boy wasn’t like anyone.  He had a strange air about him, something that aroused and intrigued her.  She couldn’t explain it, but he felt different from the world around him.  He felt special.

            They stood in silence until Alex said, “I couldn’t see over my books.”  It all came out in one word.

            He laughed in a way that was both polite but sincere.  “I understand.  I was kind of lost in my own world, too.  So, no hard feelings,” he said.  Then he moved past her, almost as if in slow motion.  She was awed by the fluidity of his movements. In fact, she was completely mesmerized.

            He turned and gave her a small wave.  “It was nice meeting you, and keep an eye out, yeah?”  Then he turned and left.

            Alex watched him go, clutching her books to her breast.  Then, she shook her head and pushed those strange feelings down.  There was something odd about that boy, and she didn’t like how much she liked it.

            The return to the dorms was made in a cloud of irritated confusion.  Her life was already in ruins, with dreams plaguing her every night and an essay making matters worse.  She didn’t have time to consider a charming stranger with bright eyes and a brighter smile.

            A smile that reminded her of her dreams, she realized.  Somehow, thinking about him conjured up forgotten things.  Her dreams came back to her in greater detail.  There was more to them than darkness, than pressure.  There was a Voice thick as lumber that rattled her bones.

            That is where her thoughts were when she entered the dorms, and they distracted her as she passed through the lobby.  Her room was the first door to the right in the girl’s hall, and it was what drew her from her reverie.  Specifically, it was a note pinned to the door.  It was from an old friend who wanted to talk.

            Alex sighed and pocketed the note.  It was just one more trouble for her already chaotic life.  She balanced her books in one hand and wriggled the door open, and she just could only just close it before the books came tumbling down.  She bit back a curse.

            Ellen was there to greet her, dressed in a t-shirt and sweats, with her curly blond hair tied back into a ponytail.  There was also a tiny girl behind her with long, long black hair and skin so pale it could have been pigmented by light.  Ellen was trying to shove the little girl under the bed.

            Alex tried to speak but words failed her.  All she managed was, “What—I—Who—Ellen?”

            Ellen stopped and turned.  She had adopted the not-so-innocent look of a child with her hand in the cookie jar.  “She’s my…Cousin? Yeah, she’s my cousin!”  Ellen looked at the little girl, who had lost interest in hiding and took to digging through their dressers.  “And her name is…”

            “Abraham,” the girl said.  Her voice was as small as she was, but her smile was huge.  She found a pair of socks and held them stretched between her tiny hands.  “Means father of many.”  She ran her large, brown eyes over her find and then turned her smile on them.

            Alex look between them and settled her gaze on Ellen, and she crossed her arms.  “Your cousin?  Abraham.”

            Ellen nodded, emphatically, and gave the girl a hug.  The girl, to her credit, abandoned the socks and returned the embrace heartily.  “Yes, my cousin Abraham.  We’re tight.  Real tight.  Tight as two peas in a pod, I tell you.  Two peas in a pod that been tied up in string really, really tightly.  You know, we’re more like siblings.  Or twins.  We’re inseparable.”

            Alex shook her head.  “And you were trying to hide her under our bunk bed because?”

            Ellen smiled uneasily.  “Because I…Well, it’s a funny story.”

            A knock at the door and Alex glanced back.  When she returned her attention to them Abraham had somehow vaulted onto the bottom bunk, which stood almost as tall as her.  She had the socks in her hands again and was turning them inside out.

            Alex grumbled, and she looked through the peep hole.  A tiny blonde with a pixie-cut stood waiting in the hall, one hand on her hip and chewing the nails on her other hand.  It was Carolyne, the friend who needed to talk.

            Sighing, Alex took the time to gather her books and stack them on her desk.  Then, she fixed Ellen with a glare.  “We’ll finish this later,” she said, and she slipped out into the hall.

2: The Princess and the Key, Chapter Two: "Red Strings"

Chapter Two: Red Strings

 

Oh, how I wish

I could hold your hands,

And sink into your skin!

Alas, I think that we,

Shall be no more than friends.

 

            Weeks before school started Alex was at Shana’s house.  They had spent the day outside, lounging in Shana’s pool.  Shana’s family was very well-to-do, born into money and dedicated to keeping it.  They had a large, four-story house and a business that kept thriving.  None of that meant much to Alex, however, who simply enjoyed Shana’s company.

            In fact, Alex normally avoided the pool.  She couldn’t swim very well, so it felt to her like tempting fate. Luckily, Shana was always there to her afloat.   So long as that happened there was nothing to worry about.  They could isolate themselves, hide from the world, and indulge in the pleasure of each other’s company.

            “You really shouldn’t jump in like that,” Shana lectured with a smile.  She had pulled Alex to the shallow end of the pool and they were sitting, shoulder-to-shoulder.  They sat close enough that when Shana laughed Alex could feel it before she heard it.

            “I fell in.” Alex leaned into Shana.  “And I’m okay.”

            “Sure, but you’re only because I jumped in to save you,” Shana said.  “You never know.  Maybe next time you won’t be so lucky.”  She looked down into Alex’s eyes and leaned in close.  Water dripped from Shana’s nose into her cleavage, and Alex had to fight to watch its descent.  Shana smiled.  “Maybe next time I’ll just let you drown.”

            “You’d never do that,” Alex whispered.  She could smell Shana through the chlorine.  It smelled like safety, like home.

            “Really, are you so sure?”

            Shana kept coming closer.  Alex got lost in her eyes and was nearly shaking.  Everything felt muted and indistinct.  Only they existed, and time was kind enough to let the moment linger.

            Then the spell was shattered by an eruption of laughter.  Alex squirmed and flailed, splashing everything in her clumsy attempts to escape Shana’s wriggling fingers.

            “I surrender, I surrender,” Alex cried as Shana continued pursuit.

            “Oh, no you don’t!  This doesn’t end until I say it does!”

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Out front of the dormitory sat a pair of old, blue picnic tables.  They looked out at the blank fields that surrounded the campus.  These were the smoker’s benches, and rain or shine students were out there, sating their addiction.  Carolyne was often among them.

            Alex sat with her head down.  Carolyne sat beside her, a cigarette in hand.  She took long, anxious drags on it.   They were quiet and had been for nearly five-minutes.  Each had a running inner dialogue but neither had the bravery to speak.

            Eventually, Alex managed to say, “Carolyne,” before ending finishing with a sigh.  She looked away, out at the fields, and tried to settle her thoughts.  Everything seemed to make sense until it was time to put it into words.  Then, every sentence disassembled of its own will and bounced aimlessly around her head.

            Carolyne released a cloud of smoke and tapped her cigarette.  “I’m tired of this,” she said, resting her chin in her free hand.  She stared listlessly toward the campus.

            Alex sat up and collected her thoughts once more.  This time she managed, “Tired of what?”

            “These moments together, where both of us want to talk but neither of us will,” Carolyne said, mouth smoking.

            Alex nodded and stared at the ground.  She didn’t know what else to do.  It felt like everything that could be said had been said before.  Anything more would be redundant.

            “So, anything you want to talk about?”

            “Well…I miss how close we were.  I miss when we used to spend almost every day together.  We’d skip our classes and hang out.”

            “So do I.”

            “Then why did you…”

            Carolyne bounded from the table and wheeled around on Alex.  “Really?  This again?  Is that all you can say?”

            Alex slouched, retreating in like a turtle.  She pulled her hair down and tried to hide her tears.  “I just want to know.”

            “Can’t you just accept it, Alex?  We’re friends.  We could be close again, like we were, if you would just grow up.  It doesn’t have to be so bad!”

            “Really?  Because I can’t see how it can be good!”

            Carolyne flicked her cigarette and took a calming breath. “Just give it time, okay?”  She turned toward the dorms, took a step, and stopped.  Without looking back, she said, “Just try not to think about it.”

            “Why did you even pull me out here in the first place?”

            For the hundredth time that week Carolyne surprised Alex.  With uncharacteristic meekness, she turned and looked and seemed almost sad.  Within a single breath her poker-face returned.  “Listen, Alex, I do care about you, even if you don’t believe me, and I do want to be your friend.  Really.  I want you to realize that.”  She paused long enough to let it all settle.  Then, “And I do want to spend time with you.  I just can’t take this drama.”

            Alex groaned.  “Why the hell did you pick me?”

            Carolyne shifted uneasily.  “I thought you could handle it.”

            Alex opened her mouth to speak but didn’t have anything to say.

            Carolyne sighed.  “Alex.  You’re my friend, and I care about you.  A lot. But I have to tell you.   You’re not alive, dear, and you haven’t been since before I even met you.”

            Alex felt a familiar pain in her chest.  She held in her tears as best she could.

            “When you smile it’s easy to see that it’s fake.  You’re smart, funny, and beautiful, and I loved talking to you, but sometimes it’s so hard to be around you when I know that you’re not even there.  You’re just a zombie going through the motions.”

            They stood in silence.  No words were spoken, no other sounds were acknowledged.  Caorlyne stared directly at Alex without flinching, and Alex kept her gaze on the ground.  She felt hollow.  Then there was a deep breath and shoes scuffing the asphalt.

            “Are you coming,” Carolyne called from the doorway.

            Alex didn’t move.  “Maybe in a minute.”

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            The princess lived up in the castle all by herself.  She was born loving the world and all of the people on it, but in time she grew lonely.  One day, as she was watching the people from her throne up high, she saw a young man who was just as lonely as her.  Deciding to be daring, she went down to see him, and that, my son, is when she found true love.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Shana sat at her desk, legs crossed, chewing on the end of her mechanical pencil.  Her essay wouldn’t write itself, and she knew that, but a part of her kept holding onto hope.  After an hour, however, she had achieved nothing but a headache and decided a rest was in order.

            She pushed away from her desk and shuffled over to her bed.  Shana’s room was large, dark, and organized.  The walls were painted a deep, stately blue.  She was never one for pink or frills, preferring dark colors over their brighter counterparts.  Primarily, she enjoyed how cozy her room was in low light and how easy it was to nap there.

            Her bed made it all the easier.  It was king-sized and piled high with fat pillows and fluffy comforters.  When she touched the mattress it seemed to swallow her up in its soft embrace.  She disappeared between the blankets and curled up underneath them.

            As she lied there, she eyed her nightstand and watched time pass, her alarm clock counting the minutes for her.  Normally, Alex found homework to be easy and, though most of her life, whenever she had trouble, she had Alex.  Alex never actually helped her, but she offered distraction, which was sometimes necessary.

            Half an hour passed, and nothing happened. The air felt stagnant, and so did Shana’s thoughts.  She kept thinking of Alex, had dreamt of her the night before.  Everything was foggy and out of focus.  She missed her best friend, missed the distraction.

            She rose again and paced her room, and she tried to start her assignment again but didn’t get anywhere.  So, she called Alex.  The phone rang once, twice, and then Ellen answered.  They talked briefly.  Ellen said Alex was busy, and Shana assumed it was with Carolyne and hung up.  Shana didn’t like it.  Talks with Carolyne always ended in disaster.

            Another round of pacing, and Shaan ended up standing by her bed, clutching a photo that normally rested on her nightstand.  It was of her and Alex, years ago, covered in mud and draped over each other.  They were smiling like they found the gold at the end of the rainbow.  In reality, they had decided to go out into a rainstorm.  It ended with a lecture of Shana’s mother and a severe cold.

            Shana considered it time well-spent.

            Alex had that effect on Shana.  No matter what they did, no matter how it ended, Alex made it better.  They were best friends, someone to spend their lives with.  All her life, Shana has always thought that people like their spouses but truly love their best friends, and she did truly love Alex.

            She fell into bed again, holding the photo and staring at the ceiling.  She stared a circle around her lightbulb, skirting the ring of light it cast but never staring into the center.  Someday, she and Alex would be old, and they would have a lifetime of memories together.  Personally, Shana looked forward to it.

            Smiling, that was the thought that carried her into sleep.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

           

            The weekend came uneventfully.  Alex woke in the early morning and found the sky overcast.  Thick, grey clouds hung suspended in the air like the curtain.  She could see them swelling and darkening with rain.  Thunder sounded in the distance.

            Alex took to her desk to work but ended up staring at the wall in a rut.  She had nothing to write, nothing to say.  Her life, and the meaning to it, were subjects she avoided often.  After hours of contemplation she had come to one conclusion.  She was nineteen and had nothing important to say on the subject of life.

            Abraham played beside her, diligently and carefully coloring in a book Ellen had purchased for her.  It had an outline of an elephant, which she was coloring pink with yellow stripes.  She had drawn wings on it in blue crayon.  Alex watched her, and she recalled her return to the room after the run-in with Carolyne.

            When Alex had returned to the room, she was in an even worse mood than before.  She slammed the door behind her and stared Ellen down and was met only with a nervous gaze in return.   

            Ellen fidgeted and shifted her weight.  She stared at the ground for a moment and then, tentatively, met Alex’s gaze.  She still looked like a child in trouble, the way her shoulders slouched, and her body folded in on itself.  When she spoke, her voice was high and her cadence slow.  “So, um, did you have a nice chat?”

            “Peachy.”  Alex crossed her arms.  “Now, where were we?”

            “What do you mean?”  Ellen wove her fingers and shrugged her shoulders.  She tried hard not to look guilty but that only made things worse.

            Alex searched the room and found Abraham missing.  It was almost like the little girl had disappeared or as if she hadn’t been there at all.  Everything was in its right place.  Their dresser drawers were closed, their beds were made, their work desks untouched.  Everything was perfectly placed.

            It made Alex scowl.  “Where is she?”

            “Who?”  Ellen stiffened under Alex’s gaze and then laughed nervously.  “Oh!  My cousin?  She, um, she had to leave.  Busy girl, you know.  Just came by to say ‘hi’ before she can off.  Then, she, um, you know, ran off.”  Ellen mimed a small waving motion and then started wringing her fingers.

            Alex gave a long stare and then sighed.  “Abraham, where are you?”

            “I’m right here!”

            Abraham tiny voice came from underneath the bed and behind the dressers.  Both Alex and Ellen turned their gazes there and then locked eyes again.  Then, Alex marched over and yanked the dressers apart, revealing Abraham hiding in the darkness with her hands worked into Ellen’s sock.  Alex helped her back out into the open and then glared at Ellen.  “Gone, huh?”

            “Got you?”

            Alex sighed.  “What the hell is going on here, Ellen?”

            “Well, I was…She was…You see…”

            Alex growled like an animal.  Her head began to hurt, and her focus shifted.  She saw Abraham and Carolyne together.  She heard the Voice.  These thoughts flooded her mind, and she…pushed them out.  Fixing her attention on Ellen kept her in the moment.  “Just spit it out already.”  She said it as calmly as she could because, from her experience, shouting only made Ellen cry.

            “I—I don’t know!  I went on my walk and on the way back just sort of found her.  And I didn’t know what to do? I mean, would you?  There was just this little girl, unconscious, lying on the ground.  I panicked, and I grabbed her, and I brought her back.”  Even without raised voices Ellen was nearly in tears.

            Alex let her settle before speaking. “And you didn’t think to tell anyone?”

            “I was afraid I would get in trouble.”

            “In trouble?  Ellen, for what? That makes no sense.”

            Ellen sniffled and nodded and stared out the window.  At that time there was no hint of a storm.  There was just a clear blue sky and a field of green grass.

            Another deep breath, and Alex was careful to mind her tone.  Rather than speak, she tried to touch Ellen’s shoulder.  Contact always made Alex a bit uncomfortable, but for Ellen it was sometimes necessary.

            Ellen wiped the tears from her face and looked Alex in the eyes.  She was crying now, but she was doing it quietly.  “I don’t know.  I always do.  I try to help, but I always end up causing trouble, and I’m always bringing stuff home.  My parents tell me I have no common sense and…”

            “Ellen…”

            Ellen sniffed and took a deep breath.  She wiped her eyes again.  “I’m sorry, Alex.  I just wanted to help her, but I should have known better.  I’m just a college student.  I can’t do anything, and she won’t talk to me about anything, she just keeps saying that she needs to hide.  I didn’t even think.  I just said okay.”

            “Hide?” Alex looked at Abraham, who was miming their conversation with her sock-hands.  “Hide from what?”

            Ellen looked too.  She shrugged.  “I don’t know.  She won’t say.  Just that no one can know she’s here.”

            They lock eyes again.  “Well, she can’t hide here.”

            “Why not?”

            “Because, it’s like you said: we just college students.  I can’t even make it to class on time and you’re bringing children home like lost puppies.  And damn it, where would we hide her?”

            “I—will think of something.”

            “Ellen.”

            “I’m sorry,” Abraham said, her small, clear voice cutting the tension.  They looked at her and found her standing beside them now, head down as if she were waiting to be scolded.  She had taken Ellen’s socks of and was clutching them tightly with both hands.

            They stared at her and silence reigned.  Then, Alex closed her eyes, frowned, and sighed.  “Fine.  She can stay until we figure out what’s going on, but once we do, we need to find something else to do with her.”

            Ellen smiled even through her tears, and she hugged Alex, who went tense.  “Oh, thank you Alex.  Thank you!”

            “Yeah, yeah.”  Alex swayed, tried to retreat, but Abraham caught her next and held her about the waist.  The two stayed there while Alex stood steady, making sure not to scream or even to move at all.  At that time, Alex had wondered if Abraham even understood what happened.  Looking back on it, Alex decided that Abraham might have known better than either of them and manipulated the circumstances.

            Either way, it left Abraham there with a coloring book and a set of crayons to occupy her time.  She shared the bottom bunk with Ellen that night but woke up long before either of them.  She was quiet and well-behaved, and she was fascinated with the smallest things.

            While Alex thinks, she glances again at Abraham, who now holds the picture up for Alex to see.  Today, she is wearing a pair of brand-new socks bought specifically for her tiny hands, and she smiles with so much warmth that she is the sun cutting through a storm.  “Is it good?”

            Alex had to admit that the picture did look nice.  The coloring was precise, without a single bit of wax outside of the lines.  Not even her self-imposed boundaries were broken.  Even after watching Abraham work, Alex found it hard to believe a child did that at all.

            “Hey, Abraham, I have a question.”

            Abraham set the book to the side and turned her big, dark eyes on Alex, who suddenly had trouble speaking.  Her eyes were not the eyes of a child.  They held infinite depths, possession a wealth of love, warmth, compassion and, despite her youth, wisdom.  “What is it, Alexandra?”

            Alex hesitated, shifted in her seat.  “Uh, would you mind calling me Alex instead?”

            Abraham smiled again.  “Okay, Alex.”

            “Thanks,” Alex said, and she forgot her question.  She stared for a moment longer, muttered, “Never mind,” and returned to her work.  It was too difficult to stare at Abraham too long.  Even looking right at her, Alex had trouble believing she was real and out of her periphery the little girl seemed to bleed into the atmosphere.

            She stared at her desk, at a piece of paper blank save for her name written at the top.  Words wouldn’t form in her mind.  Instead, emotions and memories come to mind.  She thinks of her sister, Alicia, pale-skinned, hair tidied, lying in a wooden box, sterile, frail, sleeping.

            Alex closed her eyes and forced this memory away.  She replaced it with something older, something better.  Alicia’s skin flushed with life, her hair shined in the twilight.  They stood alone in a field of wheat that rose up to Alicia’s waist.  Alex remembered that she couldn’t see over the swaying stalks and had to hold her sister’s hand so as not to lose sight of her.

            In that moment Alicia was her entire world.

            The air was cool, late autumn flowing into winter.  They had gone to the outskirts of Sadieville to look at a farm.  Alicia loved plants, loved gardens.  She would tell Alex about every plant, every tree in their yard and, when they ran out, she started going on field trips with her.  Alicia was sixteen, Alex eight, and they used to argue about the color of Alicia’s hair.

            “It’s brown,” Alex would say, and Alicia would laugh.

            “No, no.  It’s russet!”

            In ways, this memory was worse.  Alex blinked and returned to the moment.  Tears were streaming from her eyes and beside her, Abraham stared.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Carolyne exited the dorms.  She was having a nicotine fit and realized she was out of cigarettes, so she was in something of a huff.  Her conversation with Alex made her mood worse.  Even as she tried to push it out of her mind, she continued to flip the argument over and examine it from all sides.

            She was so engrossed that she didn’t notice the strange figure at first.  Only after she reached her car did she realize that someone was watching her.  Someone tall, sinewy, and dangerous.

            Knuckles white, she gripped her keys tightly with both hands and struggle to keep them steady.  The air was tight, sinister, and suffocating.  It told her to attack or to run away.  At this point, there was no other option.

            She jammed her key into the door and unlocked it, and she had it halfway open when she stopped.  As frightened as she was, she had to look back.  Something called her, attracted her to the lithe figure skulking toward her.  It was a magnetic force, something primal and animal that Carolyne could hardly understand, let alone explain.

            Carolyne went stiff.  She gripped the door tightly to keep from falling.  The figure was close now.  She could smell the sweat of them even from a distance and as they drew closer, Carolyne came to realize they were a woman, but there was a wolf inside of them.  She could see it in her eyes.

            She turned.  This woman demanded fear and respect, awe.  It was dangerous to show her back to such a person, but it was more dangerous to look her in the eye.  Everything in her bodyscreamed to run but it was too late.  The woman was there, and she pushed Carolyne’s door shut.

            The musky scent of the sweat was stronger now.  It wasn’t unattractive, but it was cloying, and the longer Carolyne smelled it the more it fogged her mind.  She could smell something else within this peculiar scent, something like iron.

            “Hello,” the woman said, and her voice was like a growl.  Fangs sunk into Carolyne’s neck, and she suffocated for a moment before she realized it wasn’t real.  She felt her neck and stepped away, and the woman followed her closely, eyes on her.

            Carolyne backed into her side-mirror and came to a stop.  She fought to breathe and found the smell of iron was stronger than before.  “Can I help you?”

            The woman slithered forward and wrapped thin fingers around Carolyne’s face.  She stared Carolyne in the eyes and a smile opened upon her face like a fresh wound.   Her eyes were endlessly dark and full of hate.  “Why, yes,” she hissed.  “I think you can,” and she slipped one sinewy arm around Carolyne’s shoulders and began to talk.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

           

            “What are you doing?”

            Alex opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. She had long since given up on the essay and retreated to the top bunk. There, she lied sprawled, one leg hanging off the bed, and one arm draped over her eyes.

            “Thinking.”

            Abraham blinked her big eyes in confusion and continued staring.  “What are you thinking about?”

            There was a pause, and Alex said, “Nothing.”  Silence followed.  Alex felt bad for being so clipped with the little girl, but she had more pressing matters.  Her essay and Carolyne were at the top of the list.  Still, thinking about them didn’t alleviate her guilt.

            She peeked over the edge of the bed and found Abraham coloring again.  She was taking the time to shade her picture of the elephant.  She had also named it, having drawn very fine lettering at the top.  “Ellie,” it read.

            Alex prepared to apologize but the door opened before she could.  Ellen snuck into the room, offered apologies to no one in particular, and moved about like a flash.  She placed some bags on the bottom bunk before dropping a fast food bag on the floor.

            “I’ll get her out of here soon.  Just let me get a meal into her and then…”

            Alex looked back up at the ceiling.  She covered her eyes again.  “Don’t worry about it.  We’ve already talked about it, and she can stay for a little while.  At least until she tells us what she’s hiding from.”

            Ellen, elated but bewildered, looked down at Abraham.  “Are you ready to do that?”

            Abraham gave her a moony gaze.  “If I were as a bird, could I fly through people’s hearts as I would the sky?”

            Ellen sighed and got into one of the bags on the bed.  “I’ll take that as a no,” she said, and then, “Sure, honey, of course you can.”  She removed a couple bundles of yarn and kneeled down to look Abraham in the eye.  “So, I was thinking, do you want to make a friendship bracelet?”

            It was around then that Alex fell asleep.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            There was darkness and pressure.

            Alex.

            “What?”

            Alex, can you hear me?

            “Yes, damn it!  Yes, I can hear you!  What the hell do you want?  Why do you keep harassing me like this?”

            I want for you to know me.  I want for you to listen.

            “I am listening.  I have been listening.  Christ, I can’t even take a nap.”

            You will need to be strong.  Great dangers are coming, but you must face them.  They will challenge you, both body and mind, and they may break you.  But you cannot run.  You must open your heart.  You must hear me.  Listen, please, listen to me.  Call me, and I will come to you.  All you have to do is call.”

            “What?  I’m sorry, I don’t understand, I just…”  She heard laughter and a bright flash burned her eyes.

            Say my name and use me as you will!

            When Alex woke it was the next morning.  She slipped out of bed and found Ellen sleeping on the bottom bunk with one arm fixed around Abraham’s tiny body.

            Alex stretched quietly and then snuck from the room.  She made it outside before finding the sky bleak and grey.  The air felt heavy, and she could tell that the storm was near.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Shana stared out at the grey sky.  It was early morning, Saturday, and she still hadn’t heard back from Alex.  The sun was only just rising and could barely be seen behind the dark clouds suffocating the sky. 

Normally, she wouldn’t be awake so early, but the night before had been restless.  She had dreams of Alex and woke multiple times through the night in a cold sweat.  Each time she shook, and she hugged herself, and each time she had to calm herself before drifting off.  The dream was the same, playing on constant repeat, and in the dreams Alex kept on dying.

Normally, Shana would disregard such things.   Dreams were nothing but ideas, memories manifested in a sequence of scenes played in people’s psyche while they slept.  That is what she told herself, but these dreams felt different.  They felt real.  Even upon waking she could hear Alex’s cries, feeling them crawling up her spine.

She checked her phone and found no new calls, and she considered calling again.  It was still early, but she wasn’t so sure that she could wait.

 

At first all seemed well, but in time the boy, who was nothing but a humble peasant, changed.  Having access to the castle in the sky, to the place that connected the heart of man with God, made him greedy, and he hungered for power and wealth.  One night, while the princess slept, he stood by the bed and watched her with a knife in hand.

3: The Princess and the Key, Chapter Three: "The Storm"

Chapter Three: The Storm

 

On this Hallowed Land we’re born,

On this Hollowed Land we live,

On this Hallowed Land we die,

In this Hallowed Land we rest.

 

            On her way back to the room Alex stopped by the restroom.  After washing her hands, she stopped outside of her door and took a deep breath.  Then, very carefully, she pushed the door open and peeked inside and found that, despite her efforts, Abraham was waiting for her.  She stared at her, wide-eyed and alert, and it reminded Alex of an owl.

            “Sorry,” Alex said as she slipped inside.  She wasn’t sure whether she was apologizing for waking Abraham or for her behavior the day before. 

            Abraham smiled and edged toward her with one tiny arm extended.  She held something out for her, a braid of red, blue, and purple fabrics.  Alex bent down to examine it.

            “I made one for you,” Abraham said.

            Silently, Alex offered her arm.   With her delicate little fingers of pearl, Abraham tied the bracelet around Alex’s right wrist. When finished she let Alex examine.  Despite, or perhaps because of, the simplicity it was beautiful.

            “Thanks,” Alex said, and she smiled.  She looked Abraham in the eyes, shaking.  “Thank you very, very much.”

            Abraham gave her a big, affectionate smile and then did something Alex didn’t expect.  She wrapped her skinny little arms around Alex’s waist and held her tight.  At first Alex went stiff, not really knowing how to react.  She didn’t hug people often and never this close.  It felt strange, but very warm and comforting despite the girl’s diminutive size.  It reminded Alex of a blanket fresh from the drier on a cool winter’s night or a return home after many years away.

            It reminded Alex of time spent with Alicia

            She broke, and the façade crumbled in the little girl’s arms.  Alex collapsed on the floor and sobbed, and while she did Abraham stood holding her.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Isaac stood at the front of the library, beside a bench dedicated to one of the donors.  Before him the campus stretched out.  A lush, green lawn stretched out to meet the black asphalt of the parking lot.  Large trees, statuesque in their perfection, were spread evenly across the campus.

            He traced his hands along the pillars holding up the buildings enormous canopy as he walked the length of the entrance.  The walkway was made of a strange, sandy red stone that was glossed over.  His footsteps echoed.

            At the edge of the patio he stopped and looked at the surrounding buildings.  To his right they were constructing a new add-on, expanding the campus with a new science wing.  The large metal framework was wrapped in plastic gauze.

Though seemingly attentive, his mind was far off.   Someone was there, someone that didn’t belong.  They were in the city, his city, and despite his father’s warnings he was obligated to confront them.  At the very least he could find out who they were and why they were there.

            In truth, Isaac didn’t know much about the Emotion.  He did know enough, though, to believe firmly that some doors should be left unopened.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            When Ellen awoke Alex was gone and someone was knocking on her door quite insistently.  She stumbled from the bed half-naked and glanced at the clock.  It was midmorning, but she still felt very tired.  The knocking continued, and she staggered her way across the room.

            Abraham was awake and had been coloring, but when the knocking started, she stopped.  She eyed the door and mouthed the word, “Don’t,” but Ellen didn’t see and cracked the door.

            Carolyne waited outside, and peeking out, Ellen could see something different about her.  It wasn’t something that could be articulated but, despite her small size, Carolyne seemed somehow greater.  Ellen recoiled briefly and then glanced at Alex’s bunk.  “Sorry, Carolyne, Alex isn’t here.”

            Carolyne smiled, but it wasn’t a smile.  Maybe it was a warning.  Normally, Ellen didn’t mind Carolyne’s infrequent visits.  She found the other woman funny and interesting, and though they didn’t spend much time together, Ellen considered her welcome.  That morning, however, Ellen wanted to slam the door shut.  Carolyne stared through her.

            “What about the other girl,” Carolyne asked, and Ellen reacted on instinct. She slammed the door but found it stopped by Carolyne’s food.  Ellen retreated, while Carolyne stepped into the room, her warning written across her face.  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

            That night, while she slept, the boy tore the meat from her bones and searched her blood for the key to the castle.

 

            The campus was empty on Saturdays, and Alex preferred it that way.  It left her alone and free to go wherever she liked.  It also meant the library study rooms would be empty.  She could seek refuge there until she finished her assignment.

            She had notebooks and papers stuffed under her arm.  The wind was picking up and dark clouds moving in.  She pulled her hood up for protection.  Halfway across the gym’s parking lot she heard an explosion.

            She turned back to the dorms and saw a cloud of dust and debris lurching across the soccer field.  At first, she stared in awed confusion, and then she dropped her things and started toward it.  She couldn’t explain it, but she knew something was wrong.  Somewhere inside of all the chaos a feral beast lurked.  It was tall and vicious, with too many heads and each dripping acid, and she was its prey.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Shana spent her Saturday morning attempting to read.  Every time she started the first paragraph, however, her stomach turned.  It felt like motion sickness, but she was stationary.

            The entire day continued like that, and she stretched out across her bed and tried her best to ride out the storm.  Outside the air was thick and heavy.  Normally, Shana kept her window open when it rained.  Today, she didn’t.  With the weather as it was, she was afraid of being crushed.    

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Carolyne walked slowly from the plume of smoke with a sword in her left-hand.  It was a rapier with a paper-thin blade.  A set of ornate black wings extended from the grip and pointed toward the sky.  A thin finger guard looped from blade to the hilt base.  The world warped around it, distending as it came into being.

            Ellen could hardly believe it.  Her heart hammered as she staggered away, pushing Abraham in front of her as they went.  It all happened so fast that everything was a blur.  All she knew was that Carolyne was insane and dangerous, asking about Abraham one minute, and then pulling a sword from thin air and scattering the room across the field the next. Survival was a fluke, and the gash on Ellen’s leg was a sign of good luck.

            Abraham struggled to keep pace.  Ellen’s prodding only made it worse.  They made it to the parking lot before the little girl fell forward onto her hands and knees.  At their heels was Carolyne, stalking with a predatory gaze.  She didn’t mind them running.  For her, the chase was part of the fun. She thought of it like burning ants with a magnifying glass.

            Ellen helped Abraham up and urged her forward. 

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Alex was halfway back when she met Ellen and Abraham.  Carolyne was not far behind them.  Her rapier gleamed like a deadly beacon.

            Ellen stopped beside Alex, bent at the waist, and panted.  “Alex—We—I…There’s something wrong with Carolyne.” She righted herself and pointed back at the approaching threat. “She’s after Abraham.  She wants her.  She called her the key, and she said…”

            Abraham rushed forward and hid behind Alex.  Holding her by the leg, she looked up with dark, fearful eyes. “Protect me.”

            Alex looked at Ellen, who struggled to breathe, and then past her, at Carolyne.  For such a small girl, she seemed larger than life.  Her presence took up the entire street, but she maintained a measured pace.  She looked at the world as if she owned it.

            They made eye contact, and Alex felt heavy with fear.  Her pulse quickened, her heart threatened to burst from her chest.  She was breathless and Carolyne, who had just destroyed a building, wasn’t even winded.  Even at a distance, she seemed to have them cornered.

            Again, she looked down into Abraham’s eyes.  They were dark like the universe and seeking salvation.  Without thinking, Alex nodded.  They were all helpless, but Alex had the advantage.  She was used to being helpless. 

She pushed Abraham into Ellen’s hands.  “Ellen, take Abraham and hide her.  And no matter what happens, don’t come out.  Not until I tell you it is safe, okay?”

Ellen pushed herself up.  She was pale and sweating, and her eyes seemed unfocused.  She took a deep breath and then nodded, and she took Abraham by the hand.  Alex lead them along a back path, around one of the buildings and then came to a stop in front of the library.  She watched Ellen and Abraham disappear into the construction site.

A deep breath and then Alex came to rest on a stone bench in the middle of the grass.  She kept her hands in her pockets to keep from fidgeting and tried to think what she could say.  With things as they were between them, Alex couldn’t think of nothing.

Carolyne arrived shortly, keeping to her slow swagger and waving her blade idly.  Blades of grass parted with each pass.  Twenty-feet away she came to a stop, and she stared Alex in the eyes.  She was smiling, still, though it was twisted, sinister.  “Alexandra.”

Alex tried to swallow but her throat felt dry as a dish rag.  She stood.  “Carolyne.”

“Move, please.  I need to get the Key.”

Alex’s knees shook, but she ignored them.  She stood as tall as she could while slouching.  “The Key?”

“Yes.  The girl with the dark hair and the pale skin.  The one that Ellen is trying to hide.  She is the Key, and I need her.”

“And what is she the key to?”

Carolyne sighed and cocked her hip dramatically.  “She is the key to the heart of God, dear.”

Alex paused to contemplate this but could find no meaning in it.  She wasn’t sure Carolyne truly understood, either.

“Listen, either you move or you are moved.  Your choice.”  Carolyne leveled her weapon and directed the tip at Alex.  For the first time since they met, Alex was afraid of her.  Her eyes were glassy blue and without pity.  She looked ready to kill, and Alex was sure it was more than a look.

“I…”  It was hard to speak, hard to even think, and even harder to stand.  Every nerve in her body was alive, tugging her in different directions.  All of them made for her to move, to let Abraham go.  Then, she heard it.

Be brave.  I can help you.

She took a deep breath.  “I’m not moving.”

The glassiness of Carolyne’s gaze left, replaced by a livid fire, and then softening into familiar warmth.  “Listen, I don’t want to move you Alex, because if I do, it means I’ll have to kill you.  So, please, this is the last time: move.”

Alex shook and thought to move again, but she could hear the Voice echoing in her mind.  She held her ground and balled her fist, and she meant to speak but couldn’t manage it.  Simply standing took everything she had in her.

Carolyne sighed.  “Please, Alex, please!  We’re better than this!  Just let me have the Key.  Let me go to the Emotion!”  A long pause followed as Carolyne let every word settle.  “If you like, you can come with me.  WE can go together, to the Emotion.  You and I.”

There was kindness there, longing and lingering want.  For months, Alex had wanted Carolyne to look at her that way.  Now, she was having it offered at the end of a blade.  She had something Carolyne wanted, something to keep her there.  It felt good to no longer just be a ‘her.’  Finally, she was part of a ‘we.’

Then, Alex remember Alicia, who would never forgive her, and she thought about Shana, who never really liked Carolyne in the first place.  She thought about Ellen, too, pale and bleeding, the results of her efforts to protect a lost little girl.  She thought about Abraham, who held her as she cried.

“No.”  She meant to say it, but the word died in her throat.  She hung her head and stepped aside, and Carolyne lowered her weapon and sauntered forward.  “Good girl,” she said, and her footsteps echoed like thunder again the pavement.

Alex couldn’t even watch her pace.  She stared at the ground, at her feet, and let her shame eat her.  That’s when she saw them out of the corner of her eye: tightly woven bands of red, blue, and purple yarn bound about her wrist.  She stared at them for what felt like an eternity, and she felt the change with in.  She wasn’t confident, but she was resolved, and she met Carolyne’s gaze head-on.

“I’m not moving!”  She shouted the words and, in that moment, felt different.  They were equal in that instant, but it didn’t last.

Carolyne sighed and shook her head, and then she was gone.  She moved so quickly that Alex couldn’t follow it.  Alex blinked and Carolyne was there, distance closed and blade ready.  She lunged, and instinct took over.  Alex threw her arms up in defense, sacrificing them to the blow.

There was a flash and a pop, and the world spun.

Alex had never flown before, but she did then.  Like a cannonball, she was jettison across the campus and went spiraling through the air.  The fence caught her and folded back.  She tumbled across the clay unearthed by the construction and slid to a stop.

It hurt.  She hurt, but with time and effort, she managed to bring herself to kneeling and then, with a grunt, standing.  Her legs were weak, but she was steady and, to her surprise and Carolyne’s anger, her arm was whole.  In fact, her entire body was more-or-less fine.  She had survived not just the melee but the fall as well.

Carolyne shrieked and Riis appeared at her side, arms crossed and grinning like a baboon.  She leaned over and whispered into Carolyne’s left ear.  “Listen, girl.  Now is not the time for sentimentality.  You want to complete the task I’ve given you, yes?  You want to be in God’s heart?  Then you’ll have to go through her.  TEAR through her if need be, and then you’ll need to take the Key.  Do you understand?”

Carolyne nodded.  It was clear that she didn’t want to hurt Alex, but she refused to be stopped.  She closed her eyes, and she reached out.  Inside of the building, hiding among the mess, she could feel them: Ellen and the Key.  She moved with bullet-like speed and precision, tearing through the plastic and stepping into the unfinished halls.

This time, Alex saw her and moved to intercept.  She wasn’t sure why, but Carolyne didn’t seem so big or scary anymore.  They were equals, standing on level ground.   The bracelet felt warm around her wrist, and she found strength in that warmth.

Caroyne met Alex with surprised frustration.  She readied her blade, leveling it again, and this time she aimed for Alex’s heart.  It was unfortunate, she thought, but also necessary.  Alex had to die.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Shana was in bed, restrained by the infinite weight of the atmosphere.  She had long since giving up on her book, given up on anything, and so lied there sick and twisted up.  Something was happening that day, something bad.

            Her head felt like it was being crushed in a vice and her body sedated.  The effects weren’t physical, she thought.  It was more like her soul was sick, and the body followed its lead.  Everything was knotted and tight.

            The sound of cracking glass caught her attention.  She sat up, slowly and with effort, and found the picture on her desk broken.  A web-like fractured had appeared just over Alex’s smiling face.  Shana took the picture in hand and stared at it for a few seconds, then she rose from the bed.

            Something was wrong.  Alex was in danger.  Her dreams were more than dreams, and she knew for sure.  She grabbed her car keys and ran out of her room without even changing.  There was no time.  Alex needed help, and Shana had to be there before it was too late.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            The wall collapsed inward in a puff of gray dust.  A pear-shaped figure came tumbling out of the debris and crashed into an unpolished, winding staircase.  She scrambled to her feet and sprinted down the hallway.  In the very same instance, the stairs ruptured into bent shards.

            A blade cut through the fog of dust that choked the air, creating an opening for Carolyne to stomp through.  Her jaw was tight with rage.  “I gave you a chance, Alex!”  She closed the distance between them quickly and swiped with her blade.

            Alex fell forward, face-first, and crawled away on her hands and knees.  For a moment they seemed on equal footing, but Alex had overestimated herself.  She realized very quickly how severe her disadvantage was.  Her short-lived resistance only proved to reinforce that sentiment.

            In the hazy distance at the other end of the hall she found Ellen and Abraham.  Ellen had blacked out from blood loss, her arms wrapped around her tiny ward, who sobbed softly.

            “I gave you multiple chances!”  There was another attack and another narrow escape.  Alex rolled across the floor and came to a stop.  There wasn’t much room to navigate and nowhere left to run.  Doing her best to fight the fear buckling her knees, she stood and faced Carolyne.

            Deep, deep within her a Voice told her to fight.  Alex, in turn, promised that she would do her best.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Riis watched the beautiful opera from outside of the building.  Once, the two girls had loved each other and then were made bitter rivals, and all for a key.  A key the importance of which even none of them fully understood.  Still, she had to commend Carolyne.  For a pawn, she was quite powerful.

            He approached her from behind, and she could feel him.  She could also feel reality warp as he conjured his Voice into being, and she ducked smoothly under his first attack.  His chakram circled in the air and returned to him.  He caught it with his left hand and had another brandished in his right.

            His Voice manifested in the form of two bladed rings called chakrams.  The one in his left was black in color, had a cross-grip in the center of the ring and four points on the outside.  The right had a simple bar-grip and was rounded on the edges.  It was pure white.

            Riis smiled hungrily as she appraised him.  They were roughly the same height.  His hair had a reddish tint to it, and his skin was darker than hers.  He moved with a youthful vigor that made her hate him.  When they locked eyes, he smiled.  “Found you,” he said.

            She nodded in return.  “So you are the one I was warned about.  It took you much longer than I anticipated.”

            He shrugged.  “I was taking the time to enjoy the show.  So, no Voice?”

            She chuckled and dragged her fingers along the trunk of a nearby try.  Arcs of light danced along the bark and peeled it from the wood.  She bared her teeth.  “I don’t really need one, as you can see.”

            Isaac eyed the display apprehensively and then shook his head.  “Uh, not really.  No.”

            Her face hardened.  She flexed her fingers, which popped loudly.  “Enough chit-chat, little hare.  I’m here to RIP you apart.”

            “That doesn’t sound like much fun.”  He grinned and winked.  “Can’t we talk? Maybe grab a bite to eat?”

            “No,” she howled, and she rushed.  He threw his left chakram again and backed away, keeping distance between himself and her hands.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Shana rushed through traffic, ignoring most of the laws she had only just learned.  Alex was in trouble.  Alex needed her help.  Alex was dying.  She wasn’t sure how she knew or what she could do, but she could just see Alex lying in a pool of blood and screaming for her.  It was like they were connected by strings, and she could feel the vibrations.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Alex squealed in pain and toppled over.  Her side was red with a river of blood as she bled across the unfinished tile floor.  With effort she got herself to a knee and sat before Carolyne, her head bowed.  She had lost, and she felt sure that she would die.

            Carolyne seemed to agree and wore her open contempt in a sneer. “You should have listened,” she said, directing the bloodied rapier point at Alex’s forehead.  “You should have listened,” she repeated, her anger swelling.  “Scared yet?”

            Alex balled her fists.  She didn’t even think about it.  Of course she was scared.  Her side was on fire, and she was losing blood quickly.  Her head was light, her movements sluggish.  She wouldn’t be able to dodge the next attack, no matter how hard she tried.

            Abraham cried nearby, screaming fitfully into the silence.  She tugged Ellen’s arm.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

            Carolyne cackled viciously.  “You’re both sorry,” she said, and she lunged. 

            Dire or dead either way, Alex flinched and threw her arms up again.  There was another flash of light, and Carolyne’s blade stopped, suspended only inches away Alex’s flesh.  The world wrung and the windows shattered in the storm.  Alex fell back but kept her right arm up.

            Carolyne pushed harder.  Reality bulged and swelled.  They could feel it straining, struggling to hold her back.  Whatever it was, it was giving.  Carolyne put her full weight into her blade and growled like a wild animal.

            “You bitch,” she shouted over the maelstrom.  “You whined and whined about how you wanted me, how you NEEDED me!  You wouldn’t stop.  Then I give you this chance, this perfect fucking chance, and you throw it away!”  She shook her head and put her weight, little as it was, into the rapier.  The blade sunk deeper, sliding into whatever kept her at bay.

            Please, hear me, please, say my name!

            Everything stopped.  Alex didn’t understand how, but she knew.  She used her left arm as a brace and pushed, and she said it.  The words appeared, fully formed in her mind, and she said them loudly and with conviction.  She called out to her Voice.

            “Three Gods!”

            A bracelet of pure platinum appeared from the air, coiling around her right arm from forearm to elbow.  From it a blade grew, swelling forward and bridging the distance between the two women.  The tip parted Carolyne’s shirt and narrowly missed her throat.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Less than hundred feet away another battle raged.  Isaac moved nimbly, hands bleeding around his weapons.  Each time he blocked her attacks an arc of light danced along his palms and parted his flesh.  He didn’t know how many times he could deflect her, and she was too quick for him to evade.

            They broke through the doors into the cafeteria.  Isaac tumbled and rolled to a stop while Riis followed him, bounding through the open doorway and narrowly missing his face.  A flash, and the skin on his cheek tore open.  He winced and retreated into a nearby wall, her advancing endlessly on him.

            She fractured the stone above him as he ducked under and sprinted away.  He was halfway down a long, polished hallway before she caught him.  She dragged her hand along the glass panels lining the walls, shattering them as she passed.  A high swipe, and Isaac used her momentum to throw her overhead.  She landed on both feet and turned on him.

            He threw his left chakram, but she knocked it away with her hand.  Passing her, he caught it and continued toward the exit.  She caught him and kicked him in the back, knocking him through the door and onto the cement walkway outside.  He scrambled to his feet and rolled out of the way as she laid hands on where he was.  The cement turned to dust.

            They came to a stop outside near a small pond.  Isaac retreated into the center of the water, walking on its surface like a prophet.  It had taken him months of training to learn the basic of this and years more to master it.  It hurt a little to watch Riis follow him out.

            She flexed her hand and gazed around the shifting water.  “Here?  This will make you a fine grave.”

            Isaac took a deep breath to steady his hands.  Blood ran down his knuckles and his cheek.  He was afraid she was right, and then he felt the shift in the air.  In the distance, he could feel Alex’s awakening, and it restored some hope to him.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            When Alex opened her eyes she was lying outside of the library.  The stone walkway was slick beneath her back.  It was raining, a light sprinkle.  Dust and debris lay strewn about her.  Carolyne was about twenty-feet away.

            Alex felt sluggish.  Her right arm was still bound in the strange, intricate bracer.  A long, double-edged blade stuck out past her fist.  Two figureheads were etched into its surface.  Closer to the blade was a dragon’s head, holding a red gem in its open maw.  A maiden held a blue gem on the opposite side, closer to her elbow.

            She stood and wiped the sweat and blood from her brow.  Her injuries were light, insufficient to leave her helpless, but severe enough to cause her pain.

            Carolyne woke and stood across from her.  Aside from the tear in her blouse she was still in fine condition.  She swung her rapier around, testing its weight and adjusting her grip.  Then she smiled viciously at Alex.  “Finally, you finally heard it!  The damn thing’s been begging for months, and now you finally hear it.”  She fell into a fit of high, wild laughter, and the sky joined her with a deep-bellied rumble of its own

            Alex held up the brace and examined it.  “What is it?”

            “Proof of your existence,” Carolyne said.  She cradled her rapier like a child.  “It’s your soul’s voice, Alex, and through it you can express your will.  It is here to help you.  At its essence, it is you, and that is why you’re better.  See, wisdom is energy, and we have more than they could ever hope for.  We’re so much more, so much higher, that even their gods can’t touch us.  We are harbingers, dear, and we can bring them something, save them from their pointless little existences.  We just need the Key.” She held out her hand once more, an offer, and she said, “One. Last. Chance.”

            Not for the first time Alex felt alone.  It was a near constant state for her.  Outcast, freak, she felt familiar with those titles, but this strange weapon made her feel even more isolated than before.  She could summon a construct of her soul, and she didn’t even understand what that meant.  After hearing it explained, she wasn’t sure Carolyne truly understood either.

            Whatever the case, she had to make a choice.  She stood and leaned her head back.  Closing her eyes, she let the rain wash it all away.  Whether animal or angel, madman or prophet, monster or savior, she knew wherever she went she was closing doors.  To challenge Carolyne would mean challenging her love, her first lover.  To join her meant sacrificing Abraham, helpless and hopeless, but otherwise foreign.

            Carolyne took a confident step forward.  “We are better than this, Alex, better than them.  Come with me to the Emotion, to the heart of God!”

            These words brought Alex back.  The rain felt more substantial than before.  It soaked through her clothes and eased her aching body.  The blood on her face was washed away and pooled at her feet.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            The light Isaac felt faded as quickly as it appeared.  Riis charged him, leaving a spray of water in her wake.  Turning his attention back to her, Isaac gave a last-second toss, and she slipped under the muddy water.  His chakram bounced along the surface and then returned to him.  He caught it and turned a circle, searching for ripples in the water.

            He started taking slow steps toward the edge, both chakrams ready.  His thoughts were scattered, drawn away.  He couldn’t focus on both Alex’s missing presence and on his enemy at the same time and, torn between them, found nothing.

            The water broke, and Riis seized him by the ankles.  She pulled him under, dragging him down first by his feet and then his shoulders.  The dirty water stung his eyes and filled his throat.  He flailed weakly as she seized him by the face.  The energy moved through him, cutting him to the bone.  Fresh wounds wept blood into the water.

            He thrashed, but she was gone.  She moved too quickly, darting around him, touching him lightly and rending his flesh.  He spun in the water, swaying, kicking, making for the surface but being pulled back down.  She took him by the head and knocked skulls with him.  He lurched back, mouth open, releasing what little air he had left.

            Her hands fixed around his throat and flexed.  He could feel her energy now, moving through her and into him.  With his right hand, he took one of her arms and then drove his left arm up into her elbow.  The arm gave, folding upward with a dulled, water-dampened crack.

            She tried to kick away from him, but he held her in place.  Gripping his chakram tight, he punched her repeatedly in the stomach with his left hand.  To start, her flesh resisted, but after repeated punctures it softened to wet paper.  He stopped only when she did.

            He pulled himself from the water, gasping and wheezing as he made it to the surface, and dragged her along after him.  On the shore, he coughed until the water came back up.  Then, he went back to her body, ran his blade along her throat for good measure, and pushed her back into the water with his foot.

            It was raining as he stood, and the rainfall washed the mud from his body.  He felt weak and breathless, but he didn’t take the time to recover.  In the distance, he could feel Alex again, but only faintly.  So, he drew a single deep breath and forced his reluctant body forward.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Alex turned her gaze on Carolyne.  They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, brown eyes on green, but it felt different from the past.  Nothing lingered between them.  There was no romance or regrets, only a deep sense of disappointment.

            Carolyne lowered her arm and fixed her stare on the ground.  Her hair fell wet into her eyes.  “Of course you can’t,” she whispered.

            Alex lifted the bracer—Three Gods—again.  Then she cut the falling rain with it.  “I’m sorry,” she said, holding the blade in front of her without really knowing what to do.

            Carolyne lifted her own Voice.  “Whatever, it’s fine, just tell me, because I have to know: why are you fighting so hard for that girl?”

            Alex gave it some thought and then shrugged.  “Honestly, I don’t know,” she said, realizing how ridiculous it sounded.  “But I’ve made my decision, and I’m following through, Carolyne. I’m living my life for once.”

            Carolyne bared her teeth in what should have been a smile.  “Fine, you idiot, but this is the end.  You may be able to hear your damn soul, but you’ve only just learned its name.”  She ran her fingers along her rapier’s blade.  “You still can’t understand a damn thing it’s saying to you!”

            Staring across the wreckage and the rain, Alex swore she saw reality bending around Carolyne again.  She thought that all the fear was behind her, but she was very, very wrong.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Shana’s car slid on the wet asphalt.  She came to a stop and then stumbled out the driver’s side door, sprinting on bare feet toward the campus.  After only a few steps her legs gave out.  She fell forward, catching herself on her hands and knees and vomiting into a puddle in front of her.  The air had become so thick, so heavy, that she could no longer breath.  It was a struggle to even keep her eyes open.

            Danger permeated the air.  Rain and thunder swallowed her sobs as the crawled forward.  Alex wasn’t far off.  Ahead, in the distance, she could see light pooling around the library, and she could feel Alex at its center.  Whatever it was, it was dangerous, and she had to hurry.

            She forced herself to standing and started forward again.  This time, she made it to the grass before she collapsed.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Carolyne held her blade out before her.  Her eyes were closed, her body tense, and the air around her grew heavy.  In a moment of do-or-die, Alex blitzed her with Three Gods ready.  She crossed half the distance before the world crashed down on her, the air thick as stone.

            Submit to me, world of life, and cut this string of fate!

            The words were not spoken but felt.  Carolyne’s eyes glowed a bright, sickening green.  She lunged forward and there was a flash of light before her blade landed like a hammer blow.  Alex felt it with everything in her body and did her best to push through, but the current was too great.  She was washed away, world spinning chaotically around her.  She landed hard and rolled to a stop face up in the rain.

            It hurt to breathe.  Carolyne followed close and was on her in an instant.  It took everything Alex had to avoid the next attacked.  She rolled out of the way and stumbled to her feet, dodging a second strike and a third, but a fourth caught her in the side.

            Her footing wasn’t stable.  She spun and swung wide, aiming for the head, but couldn’t follow through.  The pain in her side brought her to kneeling.  Breathing became a struggle as pain shot up her spine.  All of her limbs suddenly felt like lead.

            Her legs gave first, and she fell to her knee, head down, pain wracking her bones.  She looked almost submissive as Carolyne stood over her, sneering.  “Is that it?  Is that all you have?’  Her tone softened and affection bled through.  “Please, tell me it is.  Tell me you were wrong, that you have changed your mind.  If you do, I’ll give you another chance.  Alex, please.”

            Alex wasted no time and gave no energy to contemplation.  She pushed off the ground with the last of her strength and threw her weight behind her blade, which found home in Carolyne’s stomach.  Two inches dug in, and Carolyne came to an abrupt, wheezing stop.  They stumbled together, Alex falling forward, Carolyne staggering back.

            They stayed like this, the rain washing over both of them.  This single instant stretched into eternity.  Alex stared up into Carolyne’s wide, green eyes and swore she saw tears, swore she saw genuine hurt.  Then, Carolyne’s rapier evaporated into the air and, shortly after, Three Gods followed suit.

            Both of them collapsed on the muddy concrete, blood pooling in the rain around them.     

 

: The Princess and the Key :

           

            Up to that point Abraham had waited.  She was scared and alone, but she couldn’t hide forever.  Ellen had become so cold, and she could feel the raging battle come to an end.  Their lights were dimming, one by one, and only she could fix it.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            After a few minutes of heavy breathing Shana could stand.  The storm had come and passed.  She sprinted toward the library, ignoring the ache of her bare feet on the wet stonework.  Whatever had transpired, she wasn’t confident that Alex had made it through.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            Isaac felt like a fool.  Ignoring his father’s advice, he threw himself into a big damn mess and dragged others into it along the way.  Then, he took a life with his own hands and, possibly, caused the death of another.  He couldn’t feel Alex’s presence anymore, could no longer see the glow of her light.

            He sprinted through the campus, the wet grass and mud sucking at his feet as he went.  When he last felt her, Alex was just outside of the library, on the far side from him.  As he ran, he found himself thinking of his father again.  How much could his father have known?  More than he would ever tell Isaac.

            It didn’t matter.  Isaac was here, and he would make a difference.  By-standers, he reasoned, never wrote the next page of history.

 

: The Princess and the Key :

 

            The last thing Alex felt was a lingering pain in her side.  She was wet and cold, and then she was nothing at all.  In the distance she saw Shana running toward her, an angel in soaked pajamas.  Then, in the blackness, she heard her scream.

            Light was everywhere.  It was inside of her and around her, and it was in every color imaginable.  If Alex could have gone out of body and looked at herself, she would have thought of herself as being green.  She definitely felt green, and that made her happy.  She wanted for nothing, no taste, no scent, no sound.  She was content to simply be.

            “So, this is the end?”

            “No, of course not,” Alex said, feeling somehow assured.  “It’s just an ending for us.  I made my decision, Carolyne, and I stand by it.  Isn’t that the point of life?  To make decisions?  To follow through?  To exist and live?”

            “Then you should keep on trying and keep on living, Alex!”

            “…Shana…”

            “I’m so sorry, Alex, please understand.  This is all I could do.”

            “It’s okay.  I made this decision myself, and I promise you, I have no regrets, other than the fact that I hurt someone very dear to me.”

            “Sorry to say, princess, but it’s not over just yet.  You aren’t dead.  You’re just adjusting, is all.  Despite all of our efforts, I think we failed.  It looks like we get to go to the heart of God after all.  To the Emotion.”

4: Preceding the Storm, 1st Step...Roommate

Indigo

: Preceding the Storm :

 

1^st step…Roommate

 

3:30 pm:

            Alex arrived at the dormitory in the afternoon.  Despite the heat of the summer sun she dressed in all black.  In this instance she wore a black tee and a billowing black shirt.  Her thick, dark hair was draped over her face like a mask as she slouched from point to point.

            Shana accompanied her, being kind enough both to drive her there and help her move in.  It didn’t take too long; Alex didn’t have much.  Her room was directly across from the entrance, which made for a short trip.  The number on the door read ‘405.’

            Ten minutes after arrival Alex was alone in her room staring at the walls.  The room was small and square.  It had a bunkbed against one wall, a shared wardrobe, and two work desks.  A small sink was tucked in the corner.  There was a mirror above the sink and a mini-fridge next to it. Below the beds were two dressers, one for each student.

            The window gave her a view of the fields nearby.  She looked outside and watch Shana drive away.  It felt like the final nail.  Thus, Alex started her first year of college all alone.

 

3:50 pm:

            Alex unpacked.  She filled one dresser and made up the top bunk.  The wardrobe was partitioned down the center.  She took the left side, filling it with her things.  Then she chose the desk closest to the window and put her things on it.

            The door burst open, and a leaning tower of boxes came stumbling in.  The woman at the base of the tower was tall and blonde.  She had big blue eyes and long, long legs that she showed off with a pair of cut-off shorts.

            The door came swinging back and hit her as she staggered.  This sent her spinning and the boxes came tumbling down around her.  Alex watched impassively from the side of the room as the woman took her lone remaining box and set it on the desk and gave a huge sigh.

            She kneeled down and started stacking her boxes.  Most were filled with clothes.  While picking up, she looked at Alex and gave a smile so big that it consumed the lower half of her face.  “Hi there, you must be my roommate,” she said while setting some more things on the desk.  She held her out her hand.  “I’m Ellen Summers, it’s a pleasure to meet you!”

 

4:45pm:

            It took Ellen nearly an hour to get settled in.  She didn’t have any help and had to make more than a few trips.  Once everything was in the room, she wasted time chatting aimlessly about how excited she was to be in school and how much she looked forward to the year.  Alex sat, her back against the wall, and watched.

            Ellen brought a lot of clothes, so many that she had to leave some packed.  After she was done unpacking, the two discussed their living arrangements and any rules they might have.  This mostly consisted of Ellen pointing out where Alex put her things, and Alex agreeing that she did put her things there.

            “Okay, then I guess I’ll take everything else,” Ellen said cheerily.

            Once finished, Ellen finally took the chance to sit down.  Alex enjoyed the brief silence.  It lasted only until Ellen caught her breath.  Then, she insisted, rather loudly, on taking Alex out to eat.  Alex turned her down initially but gave in after five minutes of pleading.

 

5:00pm:

            They went to a small diner named “Greasy Ed’s.”  It was located at the edge of downtown, a few miles away from the campus.  It was a shack looking stout enough to survive a weak gust of wind at most.  The interior was dim and, true to its name, greasy.  Everything was red or yellow.  Tacky paintings shared wall-space with an assortment of knick-knacks.

            They found a booth looking out a window and they sat across from each other, Alex staring out at the road and looking bored, Ellen wondering exactly what the stain on the table was and if she should take the time to try and wipe it up.

            Their waitress was a hefty woman with a mole and a handful of missing teeth.  It took her a few minutes to notice them.  When she did, she waddled over and took their drink orders.  Ellen wanted a coffee.  Alex ordered water.

            They sat in silence until their drinks arrived.  Ellen tried hard not to stare and instead kept glancing in Alex’s direction.  Alex successfully ignored her.

            “So,” Ellen said as she stirred her coffee.  She glanced again.  Alex still hadn’t moved. “Do you live around here?”

            “About thirty minutes away, in a small town.  You wouldn’t know the name.”

            “I might, try me!”

            “I’d rather not.”

            “Oh,” Ellen said.  She added some sugar to her coffee and continued to stir.  “Do you have any siblings?”

            “Nope,” Alex said absently.

            Ellen gave a big smile and a laugh that suited a mother rather than a college girl.  “Same with me, I’m an only child, too.  What’s worse, I’m the product of two only children, and let me tell you, my parents hate it.  They’re so afraid that the family name will end with me. I suppose it makes sense, after all, I’m a girl.”

            She stopped stirring and set the spoon to the side.  Staring into her coffee, she grabbed the mug tightly and sipped.  Then she forced a smile back onto her face and said, “They keep insisting that a man can’t take a woman’s name, but I figure I’m a new age kind of lady.  If I want my man to take my name, by God as my witness, he will.”  She looked at Alex expectantly and, when the social obligation to respond went unmet, added, “I mean, I don’t even know if I’m going to marry anyway.  Know what I mean?”

            Alex shrugged and sipped her water.  Cars zipped by outside.

            “Alex?  Right?”

            Finally, Alex turned her head and looked at Ellen.  She nodded, and then promptly looked back out the window.   Ellen flexed her hand nervously and wondered if Alex was shy or rude.  She took a deep breath.

            “Listen, Alex, I thought about this a lot before I came up to the school.”  Alex looked at her again, and Ellen put on another big, award-winning smile.  “See, I don’t want to be roommates who are just sort of there.  The kind who don’t speak and aren’t really friends, they just live together.  So, I was thinking that we should be pals.”  She paused and offered her hand for the second time that day.  “So, what do you say?  Friends?”

            At first Alex seemed disinclined, but she went along anyway.  Ellen was bubbly and perhaps a bit strange, but she wasn’t a bad person.   They shook hands and Alex said, “Friends.”

            Ellen’s smile broadened, became real, and she whooped with joy. “Friends?  Great!  Cool!  Awesome! Great!”

5: Preceding the Storm, 2nd Step...Carolyne-Ah!

2^nd step…Carolyne-Ah!

 

            Sadieville Community College was nicer than Alex had originally thought.  She wasn’t the observant type and, normally, she just passed through rooms without taking stock, but when she locked her key inside of her dorm room one day, she had to wait in the commons for Ellen to return.  It was larger than she remembered, with a high ceiling and a stairway leading to the upper halls.  Two couches were set in a V on the first floor, both pointed at the big screen television mounted on the wall.  An empty bookshelf was on the far wall for decoration.

            It was early enough in the morning that no one else was out there to bother her, which was a small comfort.  The idea of interacting with total strangers made lunch with Ellen seem palatable.

            Alex hoped that Ellen would return soon.  Their classes started roughly around the same time, so she assumed Ellen would return at the shortly. When Ellen did return, Alex had every intention of returning to her room and sleeping until the evening without having to talk to anyone for hours.  Unfortunately for her, plans have a way of going awry, and all of her fears came true in the form of a petite woman with short blond hair and large green eyes.

            “You have beautiful hair,” the woman said in a voice that made Alex think of fog on water.  She had a boyish appeal and a silky smile.  She wore earth-tones, dark greens and browns.  A large bag hung over her shoulder, nearly to the ground.

            There was something about this girl, something Alex couldn’t quite explain.  The sight of her made Alex’s heart pump fast and hard in her chest.  “Leave me alone,” Alex meant to say, but it came out as, “Uh…Thanks.”

            The woman stepped in.  She reached into her bag and produced a hair brush.  Her fingers were small, delicate.  Alex stared.

            “Mind if I mess with it for a while,” the woman asked.

            Not trusting her mouth, Alex just nodded.

            “Hell yeah,” the woman said triumphantly, and she did a mellow little victory dance before settling beside Alex. “By the way, I’m Carolyne.”

            Alex turned her back to Carolyne.  She could smell something on the girl, something she would later find was called patchouli.  It was spicy and strong, and Alex liked it immediately.

            Carolyne brushed her hair.  It felt nice and safe, reminding her of time spent with Shana, of home.  It was a bittersweet moment where her heart wanted to let go but she wouldn’t let it. 

            “So, what’s your name?”

            There was something about Carolyne, something alluring.  Alex wanted her privacy, yet she settled in on the couch, made herself comfortable.  Without thinking, she responded. “Alex.”

            “Alex? Cool name.”

            “Uh, thanks.”

6: Preceding the Storm, 3rd step...Lies, Secrets, and Toenail Polish

3rd step…Lies, Secrets, and Toenail Polish

 

            It had been years since Alex last wore makeup.  As with most things in life, she just didn’t care enough.  Whenever her parents or anyone else said anything, she did what she always did.  She hid.

            It was one thing she expected Ellen to share.  Based on their brief conversation at the diner, Alex would never have thought Ellen would be into something like cosmetics.  So, when Ellen didn’t just ask, but harassed Alex into being painted up it came as something of a surprise.

            Annoyed but learning quickly how Ellen worked, Alex gave in early on.  It was easier to placate her roommate with small favors than to fight over something so harmless.  So, she suffered silently as Ellen enjoyed herself.

            Ellen caked on a few layers, careful to accentuate not overpower.  She was about to do more but had enough grace to stop when she noticed Alex sulking.  “Okay, we’re done,” she said after appraising her work.  She went to fetch a mirror.

            “I don’t want to see it.  I just want to wash my face and go to sleep.”

            “But there’s still more to do!”

            “There can’t be.  You said you were done.  Besides,” Alex said, pointing to her own face.  “You’ve put a pound of makeup on me.  There’s concealer, eye-liner, mascara, lip stuff and…Hell, there’s stuff I don’t even recognize.”  She turned away.  “We’re done.”

            “The toes, then we’ll quit!”

            Alex glared back at her.  Then, when she saw Ellen’s face, she relented.  What was a chore for one meant the world to the other. 

            Alex turned and hugged one leg while extending the other.  She sulked as Ellen settled with the polish.

            “What’s the point? No one is going to see my toes.”

            “It doesn’t matter if people see it.  It’s still cute.”

            “It’s stupid.”

            “Oh, you’re no fun,” Ellen said with a pout.  “Other foot, please.”

            Alex sighed and switched legs.  Ellen went to work.

            “You know, your feet are shaped kind of funny.”

            Alex flashed an irritated glance.  “So is your face.”

            Silence settled in.  Ellen put a first coat on Alex’s right foot and considered going back to the left.  Meanwhile, Alex struggled with her emotions and how best to hide them.  So far, she thought she was doing well.

            “Left again,” Ellen said, and then without looking up she asked, “What’s wrong, Alex?”

            Sometimes, Alex was awed by Ellen.  She hugged her leg tight and hid behind her hair.  “Nothing.”

            “Come on, Alex, be honest.  Are you really that angry because I’m painting your toenails?”

            “No.”

            “Then quit being a baby and tell me what’s wrong.”  Ellen set the polish aside and made eye contact.

            Alex groaned.  “I….”  She hugged her leg tighter.

            “You?”

            “I lied to you about something.  Well, it wasn’t really a lie, it was…”

            “It was what, Alex?”  She seemed more concerned than upset and also very cautious.

            “Well, I do have a sibling. Or had.”

            “Had?  What do you mean?”

            “She died a few years back.”

            Ellen went silent.  She just lied on her stomach, wide-eyed and dumbfound.  Then she picked up the nail polish and went back to work.  “Sorry.”

            Alex looked up the ceiling and sniffled.  “Don’t be, it’s not your fault.  Anyway, she used to do stuff like this with me when I was a kid.  Just reminded me of that.”

            “Want me to stop?”

            “No, you can keep going.”

            Ellen hummed and continued her work.  She didn’t look up until Alex had to switch feet again.  Even then, she kept mostly to herself.  In the silence Alex thought about a thousand things.  She wanted to open up, bare it all, but she couldn’t.  There was a wall between them. Alex thought there always would be.

            After wrestling with it for a few minutes Alex said, “Ellen, there’s something else.”

            “Yes?”

            “I’m…I’m a lesbian.”

            “Oh?  That’s cool.”  Ellen finally looked up, wearing one of her signature smiles.  “I’m not.”

7: Preceding the Storm 4th step...Kiss, Kiss, Kiss

4^th step…Kiss, Kiss, Kiss

 

            There are many occasions in which a kiss is welcome.  Kisses for terrible boo-boos are a necessity for children, as are kisses for the wounded heart.  Kisses shared between lovers serve as a reminder, and kisses of passion can mean many things.   Kisses can be thanks you and helloes, and in some cases, they can even be saved for good-byes.

            The kiss Alex put on Shana’s cheek was ambiguous.  It meant a many different things, none of which she would ever be brave enough to say.  So, instead she just said, “I’ll see you later,” and she closed the car door and waved as Shana drove off.

            Once Shana was out of sight Alex joined Carolyne, who was smoking at the picnic table.  Carolyne scoffed through the cloud of blue smoke gathering about her form.

            Alex eyed her wearily.  “What?”

            Carolyne crossed her legs and turned away.  She took a long drag on her cigarette.  “Nothing, I just don’t like that girl.”

            “Well, tough, because I do,” Alex huffed.  She crossed her arms for good measure.

            Carolyne shrugged.  “Whatever, Pocahontas.”

            That was Alex’s nickname, given by Carolyne herself.  It was in reference to Alex’s Native American heritage, which was apparent in her skin-tone and bone-structure.  Alex didn’t dislike the name, though at times she found it patronizing.

            In the context of the situation it earned a glare.  “What is the hell is your problem?”

            “Nothing,” Carolyne replied absently, staring out at the fields.  She took another drag and held it before saying, “I don’t have any problems.”  She let the smoke hang in the air for a moment.  “She’s just dumb is all.  Very, very, dumb.”

            “She has perfect grades.  She always has.  She’s even in advanced classes!”

            “So?  Grades don’t mean much of anything. She’s still dumb.”

            Alex sighed as she fell into defeated irritation.  “Sometimes you’re just unbearable.  If you have something to say, just say it.”

            Carolyne grinned.  “I already told you, I don’t have anything to say.  You have your friends, and I’m happy for you.  Even if they’re dumb.”

            Alex rolled her eyes.  “You’re a pain in the ass,” she said, and she gave Carolyne an ambiguous kiss to keep.  “Pixie.”

            Carolyne kissed her back, but her intentions were clearer.  “Pocahontas.”

8: Preceding the Storm 5th step...Likes and Dislikes

5^th step…Likes and Dislikes

           

            “Ah-hah! I figured it out,” Ellen said.  It was late Saturday night, and instead of partying or socializing, Ellen cleaned the room while Alex lied in bed and stared at the ceiling.  She blurted this out suddenly in the middle of cleaning the sink.  “You like her,” followed shortly after with the accompaniment of an accusatory finger point.

            Alex tilted her head and looked down with precise stoicism.  “I do not.  She’s just a friend.”

            Ellen smiled, her eyes aglitter.  “Please, I see how you look at her.”  She clasped her hands to her chest.  “You should tell her how you feel!”

            “No, I shouldn’t, because there’s nothing to tell.”

            “Oh, don’t be like that, Alex!”  Ellen went back to the sink, but that didn’t stop her from continuing the conversation.  It was mostly to keep her energy under control.  “It’s simple enough.  Just go up to her and say, ‘Hey, I want some boobage, and you’ve got boobage.  So, let me have it!’”

            That managed to make Alex blush.  Embarrassed and annoyed, she flung her pillow down at Ellen, who caught it with her face.  “You are so obnoxious! I don’t freaking like her, okay?  So just drop it!”

            Ellen stopped washing the sink.  Alex avoided eye contact now, and silence fell over the room.  They remained stationary for a few seconds.  Then, quite earnestly, Ellen asked, “Alex, is there someone you do like?”

            “No, not in the least.”

            “Is it me?”  Ellen eyed her suspiciously for a brief second.  “It’s okay if it is.  I mean, I would say no, but I’d be flattered.  Wouldn’t bother me in the least.”

            Alex looked disgusted.  “As if.”

            “Really?  What about Carolyne, then?”

            Now, Alex looked anything but innocent.  “No!”

            Ellen smirked.  “So, I was right from the start.  It’s Shana!”

            Groaning, Alex fell back on to her bed and hid beneath the covers.  “Is there any way to shut you up?”

9: Preceding the Storm 6th step...Speeding

6^th step…Speeding

 

            Alexandra Hughes was guilty of speeding.

            In the first week they spent all their time together.  They would go to the diner and discuss art, life, school, and a host of other things Alex didn’t really have opinions on.  In the quiet moments Alex felt a measure of contentment.  It reminded her of home and of better times.

            Two weeks passed and they kissed for the first time.  It wasn’t romantic.  They were in a crowded room, finding privacy in a corner.  Despite the chaos surrounding them, Alex was wrapped in silence.  They stared into each other’s eyes, and their lips met.  Many kisses followed but that was mattered the most.

            Four weeks later, Alex gave her virginity to a girl she hardly knew.  In the aftermath she laid in silence, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness.  Carolyne slept at her side.  Nothing was different and nothing had changed.  The next day the world kept spinning, no course adjustments made.

            Within a month it was over.  Deep down Alex always knew it was inevitable, that they would spark big and burn out quickly, but denial was a powerful drug.  It was for the best, even if she denied that, too.  Sometimes, when crying, she could remind herself that to lose something, you had to have it in the first place.

            Still, denial couldn’t protect her from one harsh truth: she was guilty of speeding, and someday life would catch up to her.

10: Preceding the Storm 7th step...Harbinger

7^th step…Harbinger

 

            A man stood alone on the bridge leading up to the cathedral.  It overlooked the deep canyons cut from sienna stone.  Twilight stretched out, a long dark veil eclipsing the sky.   In the distance an enormous tree swallowed the horizon.

            The cathedral itself was an imposing backdrop.  It was tall, with angular roofing and large, pointed spires.  On the face of it was a large, oval stained-glass window.  It held the image of an angel who slept, a sword clutched tight to its breast.  Below a set of enormous double-doors, each twice as the height of a man, sat ajar.

            The man on the bridge was tall.  He had high cheeks, thin lips, and long, black hair that swept down his back.  His eyes were small, dark, and piercing, and his expression mournful as he gazed into the distance.  He wore a pristine white robe.  His imposing form gave him a natural air of authority.

            Riis came stalking across the bridge, a wolf prepared to strike.  Her steps were slow, precise, each thigh flexing dramatically.  A terrible, carnivorous smile stretched across her face.  She stopped at his side and put her hands on her hips.  “So, you need to waste more of my time, then?”

            The man spared her a weary glance.  “Indeed, I do.  I require you to fetch something for me.”  His voice is deep, chest-rattling, and world-worn.  While he looks young, his voice is old and fatigued.  “What we seek is in the black.  Retrieve it for me.”

            “Fine,” she snapped and turned on heel.

            “Riis.”  She paused, and he said, “I offer you a warning: there are people there who may interfere.  Be careful.”

            Without looking back Riis waved him off.  “I’ll just let them hope that we don’t come face to face.  Otherwise things will end poorly for them.”

            He offered her luck and let her leave.  As she walked away, she ran her fingers along the guardrail of the bridge.  The dark stone hollowed beneath her touched and collapsed into dust.

            She snickered.  “Oh, I won’t need luck.”

11: Preceding the Storm 8th step...Coup de Théâtre

8^th Step…Coup de Théâtre

 

            Alex’s nineteenth birthday was a sad joke.  It started poorly and seemed determined to end with a flourish.  By nightfall she was alone in her room, lying in her bed in the dark, nursing a stomach ache, and all she could think was why she had to choose that specific day to be sick.

            The flu wasn’t her only problem though.  The night before had been plagued with awful dreams.  She heard strange voices calling out to her in the dark.  When she first woke it was in a fright.  Then the nausea set in.  Classes that day only made it worse.

            Carolyne, who should have been a high point, was instead the killing blow.   For a while they lounged in Carolyne’s room, in Carolyne’s bed, doing and talking about nothing.  Uncharacteristically, Carolyne petted Alex’s hair and almost seemed to worry over her.

            Then it hit.  Alex sat up, stumbled forward, and narrowly made it out of the room and into the bathroom before she spewed.  What came out of her mouth didn’t look natural and only made her feel worse.  She watched it swirl in the toilet as it drained away and then rested against the stall to steady her feet.

            After that Carolyne refused to open the door.  Apparently, she had a fear of vomiting, and so she would have nothing to do with it.  Thus, Alex was turned away from the last hope of a happy birthday and relegated to a night spent alone and in pain.

            After a few minutes she fell asleep, and she woke to the light coming on.  She thought to say something but was quickly silenced by Shana bounding into the room.  “Alex is going to be so surprised,” Ellen said as she closed the door.  “She hasn’t seen you for weeks.”

            Shana smiled and set her things on the floor.  “I’ve missed her.”  She glanced around the room.  “Think I should hide somewhere before you go get her?  That way it can be an even bigger surprised.”

            Though tickled by the situation, Alex couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.

            “That’s a great idea.  You could probably squeeze in between the dressers beneath the bed,” Ellen said.  She grunted and yanked one to the side to create an opening.  “Right in here.   Okay, while you do that, I’ll go get Alex.”

            “Where do you think she is,” Shana asked.  She was already halfway into hiding.

            “With Carolyne, I assume.  You get comfortable, and I’ll be right back.”

            Ellen left the room with the light on, and Shana got situated.  Once the room had settled Alex found herself listening to Shana’s breathing.  A few seconds passed before Alex’s guilt got the better of her and she said, “Shana?”  Her guilt doubled when Shana hit her head on the bottom bunk.

            “…Alex?  You were here the entire time, weren’t you?”

            “Yeah…”

            Shana sighed heavily, and Alex could almost feel her frowning.  “Well, that sucks.”

            “No,” Alex said.  “No, seeing you is still a wonderful gift.”

            In that moment Alex knew Shana’s frown had immediately turned into a smile.  “Then, awesome!”

            The door opened and Ellen stepped back into the room. “Okay, I’m not going to lie, I couldn’t find her.  Carolyne said she left, and no one else has seen her.”

            Shana broke out into a fit of boisterous laughter, and even Alex managed a smile.

12: Preceding the Storm 9th step...Pillow Talk

9^th step…Pillow Talk

 

            Shana came from a rich background.  Her family was good blood, smart, well-to-do, high class, and they had high expectations for her.  She was the oldest of two daughters, and she was the apple of her parents’ eyes.  Then Alex came into the picture, and Shana quickly became a problem.

            They disliked Alex from the moment they met her, but they never interfered directly.  Alex was allowed frequent visits and spent the night often, and she never heard a word of their complaints.  When she stepped into the Laeder house everyone was friendly with her, if a bit cold.

            More often than not, Alex spent most visits lazing in Shana’s bed.  Once Shana asked why, and Alex shrugged and did her best to explain.  “It feels safe, I guess.  Reminds me of a time when I was young.  I saw this spider, it was a big thing, size of my fist, at least, and I swear it was just staring at me.  I got so scared that I ran out of my room, went to Al’s room.  She came in to take care of it, and poof, it was gone.  She tried to put me back to bed, but I was a kid, and I was still scared, so she let me stay with her.  Slept there the entire week, and would’ve stayed longer if she hadn’t put her foot down.”

            As Alex spoke, she gifted Shana with a rare smile.  She often had them when remembering her sister, and they were always followed by a long, lingering melancholy.

            It had become habit for them, almost ritual.  Whenever Alex spent the night they curled up in bed early and watched movies or gossiped, and would lied together, side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder, and they wasted the night away.  It was one of Shana’s favorite things, and she couldn’t imagine her life without it.

            When Alex went away to college these quiet moments together became infrequent.  They still spent time together, but it wasn’t the same.  Alex was distracted.  She had bigger things on her mind, and Shana felt out of place.

            They finally got the chance during Alex’s second semester.  It was shortly after Alex’s birthday, and it was a cold night, perfect for one of their slumber parties.  Shana rented movies but wasn’t even sure if they would watch them.  They gathered their blankets, dressed in jammies, and curled up on the bed.

            Halfway through the first movie Alex slumped over and rested her head on Shana’s shoulder.  They sat in silence as the movie played quietly in the background.  Shana combed her fingers gently through Alex’s hair.

            Alex was often distant, aloof, but Shana saw through it.  She looked through the mask of apathy and saw the way Alex shined and the potential she held.  The second semester left Alex looking exhausted and worn.  Earlier that night she had told Shana detailed stories about her big life on campus, detailed lies.  Shana saw through those, too, and felt hurt by each one.  Normally, Alex would confide in her, but something between them was changing.

            Shana wouldn’t let it.

            She waited Alex out, petting her hair.  They were alone in the safety of her room, in the comfort of her bed, and most importantly, they were together.  Shana wouldn’t pressure or pry.  She would wait; she had become a master over the years.

            Alex sighed, a hint of a smile playing across her face.  She leaned more heavily into Shana, and then the smile broke.  She shifted, falling into Shana’s bosom and sobbing uncontrollable.

            Shana held her and patted her back and kissed her forehead, and she whispered that it was all okay.  Eventually, Alex looked up her with big, dark eyes, wet with tears, and Shana tucked her hair back, smiled, and said, “Tell me about your day, dear.”

13: Preceding the Storm 10th...Stink

10^th step…Stink

 

            The clouds clung to the sky like white sea foam.  Two young women sat in a greasy, run down diner, writing quietly as people chatted around them.  Their table was dirty and littered with scraps of notebook paper and broken pencils.

            One of the girls was slight in every way, from her diminutive body, to her flat chest, to her short, boyish hair.  Only her eyes were large, and they shined like emerald gems.  She wrote chaotically, with short, disjointed imagery.

            The other girl was larger and hunched in her seat.  Her skin was colored like dry-dirt and her hair mud.  She had broad hips and carried a bit of extra weight in her middle, and her writing was more focused but lacked energy.

            As they wrote a plump waitress waddled over and offered them a gap-toothed smile.  She set down two drinks: a coffee for slight and a glass of water for hips.  “Can I get ya’ll anything else?”

            Slight stirred her coffee—just a bit of sugar—and glanced at hips.  “One bagel, please,” she said, smirking, knowing it wasn’t her ticket.  The waitress scribbled it down before any protest could be made and shuffled away.

            Hips looked across the table and sighed.  “That’s it.  We’re over.”

            Slight took hip’s hands and tugged on them playfully.  “No, we can’t be.”

            Deep down hips knew slight was right.  No matter what happened they were connected, bound by some sort of invisible string that tied them together.  No matter how hard she scrubbed, they were stuck together like stink on…

14: Preceding the Storm 11th step...Polarities

11^th step…Polarities

 

            There they sat in the cafeteria, only two things in common.  Firstly, they were both blondes.  Secondly, they were both waiting for Alex.  One was taller and fleshier, her frame being quite shapely despite her youth.  The other was slight, looking almost like a fairy.

            “So,” Shana said.  She sat cross-legged, her back straight, her posture perfect.  Her dislike was clear, but she still made effort to be open and inviting, if for nothing else to make it less awkward.

            “So,” Carolyne mimicked curtly.  She sat with her body pointed away and made her dislike apparent.  She waved her foot anxiously.

            “You were planning on hanging out with Alex tonight?”

            “Yup.”

            “Me too,” Shana said, and she laughed politely, as if it were funny how they competed for Alex’s time.  “Though, that was probably a little obvious, huh?”

            Carolyne’s lips curled.  “It was more than a little obvious.”

            Shana became quiet and shifted uneasily in her seat.  She glanced around the cafeteria.  All of the tables were empty.  The kitchen was closed, and she could see tired employees preparing for supper.  Outside the sky was pale.  Snow was coming.

            Shana uncrossed and re-crossed her legs a few times.  Then, when the tension was too much, she said, “I probably shouldn’t have come up today, it being a school day and all,” and she laughed away her anxieties.  “But, today is the anniversary, you know?  So, I wanted to spend it with her.”

            Carolyne twisted her brow and gave a sideways glance.  “Anniversary?”

            “You…You don’t know?”  She seemed honestly surprised, and Carolyne shook her head. Shana did too.  “Ten years ago today, Alex lost her older sister.  She never really recovered.”

            Now Carolyne shifted in her seat, and she looked at the ground.  For a while they were quiet.  The words were weighty and required time.  Then, after processing it, Carolyne lifted her head and said, “I see.”

            Alex’s class let out, and she came around the corner.  Seeing them both, she waved and put on a strained smile.  Shana stood, becoming suddenly animated, and waved back.  “So, I decided,” she said through a smile, “That I am going to give her a lot of good memories on this day to make up for it.”

            Once Alex was close enough Shana promptly snatched her up in a hug.  She barely let go for the rest of the night.

15: Preceding the Storm 12th step...Crossroads

12^th step…Crossroads

 

            There was a grocery store in Sadieville where all of the college students went.  It was small and dirty, and the selection was limited, but the prices were affordable and it was within walking distance of the school.  Nearly everyone shopped there, especially the students in the dorms, so it was inevitable that they would meet.

            Despite this inevitability it still felt like a shock when Ellen ran into Carolyne.  Ellen viewed Carolyne was Alex’s rebellious friend.  Somehow, she always assumed the other girl would have some sort of grudge against the store, but there really weren’t any other options.

            When their carts bumped, tensions flared.  Ellen looked at Carolyne, and Carolyne looked back, and both were quiet for a bit.  Then Ellen stammered and said, “Oh, Carolyne, hey!”

            “Hi.”

            Silence. 

            “…What’s going on with you?”

            “Just shopping.  I needed cigarettes and other things.”

            Ellen spied the pads in the cart.  “I feel for you, girl.”

            Carolyne grimaced.  “Anyway, how is Alex doing lately?”  She asked as if it were an afterthought.

            “She’s fine, for the most part.  She’s been dragging around a bit more than usual, but aside from that everything is normal.  Why do you ask?”

            For a brief moment, Ellen thought Carolyne looked guilty, and then she assumed it was a trick of the light.  “Just asking,” Carolyne said.  “We haven’t spoken much lately.”

            “I noticed.  What happened? You two were—"

            “People grow apart.” 

            Just like that the subject was closed and the tension returned.  Unsure of what else to do, Ellen did the only thing she could think of.  She touched Carolyne’s arm and smiled reassuringly.  “Well, you’re always welcome in our room.  Remember that.”

            Carolyne shied away from the touch.  “Thanks, I guess.”

            “No problem.”

            Carolyne adjusted her cart.  “I have to go.”  She paused. “Take care of Alex, though, would you?”

            “Of course, I will. And you don’t be a stranger, okay?”

            “I won’t,” Carolyne said, and Ellen couldn’t tell if she was lying.

16: Preceding the Storm 13th step...Forever

13^th step…Forever

 

            Shana’s seventeenth birthday did not go as planned.  To start, her parents weren’t happy about Alex coming over.  They were even less happy that the two were going out, and they kept warning Shana how poor she looked in Alex’s company.  They reminded her how unmotivated Alex was and warned Shana how she would be pulled down by such dead weight.

            Some of their criticisms stung, especially the ones that were true.  Alex did have a way of stumbling through life, and Shana genuinely feared for her friend’s future.  Even then, she didn’t care where Alex’s road led her.  They were friends, and deep down her parents were only worried about their own reputations.

            That is why she left, draped in a beautiful black dress.  It stopped at her ankles and flowered when she spun.  Her curves were accentuated, and her waist slimmed.  A little bit of makeup and a mountain of blonde curls completed the look.

            This was before Alex left for college.  It was in the early summer.  Shana stopped by Alex’s house and picked her up.  Of course, Alex didn’t have anything to wear, so she just threw together a black t-shirt and jeans.  She had looked the same since age nine.  Her apathy hurt, but Shana still smiled.

            They went out of town, not to Sadieville, but to the big city.  Shana’s parents had told her about a restaurant they had gone to on one of their outings.  It was French, and it sounded decadent.  They were refused at the door.  Shana dropped her father’s name, and they reconsidered.  She could come in, but Alex would have to wait outside.

            Guiltily, Alex told her to go ahead and have fun, but this time, Shana refused.  “I’m spending my birthday with you,” she said firmly, and blowing a raspberry at the hostess, she took Alex by the hand and they left.

            They ended up in a small diner down the street.  It was wall-to-wall knick-knacks and grease.  They got stares.  Now, Shana was the one out of place now, but she didn’t seem to mind.  Alex was there, and that was the important part.

            Shana and Alex met when they were kids and were fast friends.  Back then, Alex was full of energy, brutally honest, and completely fearless.  She had a natural kindness and warmth that made her shine.   She also had a sister who she never shut up about.  Shana used to get jealous.

            Alicia’s death had nearly killed Alex, and after the funeral she changed.  It was like the sun had been stolen from her world.  Everything became black, bleak, and lifeless.  Her grades declined.  Her social life depleted.  Only Shana stayed, and she was determined to endure the long night.

            Year after year Shana watched, waited, and nothing changed.  Sometimes it felt hopeless, and then she would glimpse one of Alex’s rare smiles, and when they were sincere, she would see a glimmer.  Hidden beneath all the sorrow and all of the pain was hope.  Over time it became clear to Shana.  It was her duty as Alex’s best friend to stay, to fight the good fight, and to save the person she loved most, even from herself.

            At the diner Alex slouched in her seat and stared guiltily at the table.  “I am so sorry,” she said.  “Shana, I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.”

            Shana sighed.  “Alex, it’s not ruined.  We can still have fun.  So, cheer up!”

            Alex looked around at all the prying eyes.  “This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you said we’d go out.   I’m so, so sorry.”

            “No, Alex, don’t worry about it, it’s fine,” she said, but in the back of her mind she could hear her parents: Alex is a loser, a failure, she won’t amount to anything, and she’ll just drag you down.  It was true, Alex had strayed, was drowning, she had been for years.

            Regardless, Shana refused to run away.  Whatever else Alex was, Shana knew she was a good person, and Shana was proud that they were best friends.  She loved her dearly, and she would continue to love her forever, through the good times and the bad, for better or for worse, until death and beyond.

17: Volume One: EMOTION, Chapter One: EMOTION, part 1

: EMOTION :

 

Volume One: EMOTION

 

Like particles in the storm,

We pull apart,

And we crash together.

 

Chapter One: EMOTION, part 1

 

            Alex!

            Alex squirmed and shook her head clear.  A voice bounced around the skull, a voice that was both familiar and distant.  It was someone close to her, someone she had known for a long time.  It was someone familiar yet also unrecognizable.

            Alex!  Listen to me!

            She opened eyes slowly and found it standing before it.  Tall and naked, the figure before her was both male and female.  It had one head and two faces turned toward her.  One was that of a beautiful woman with strong eyes.  The other was that of a handsome man with a hard gaze.

            Alex, said the figure, its voice that of a bird’s song.

            “Yes?”

            You have to wake up, to stand, the figure said, now sounding like an elephant’s shout.

            “Wake up?”  She felt very awake, but things were blurred.  The last thing she remembered was fighting for her life, and dying.  She looked up into the creature’s faces.  “Aren’t I dead?”

            No, you still live, but you need to wake up.  You need to get moving if you wish to remain so, said the figure in a voice like a loving mother.

            “I’m alive?  How could that happen?  Carolyne…”

            Trust me, believe in me, and let me help you.  I will keep you going as long as you allow it, said the figure in the voice of a stern father.

            “Right, right, I remember you now.  You’re my soul, right?”  Slowly, events took shape in her head.  She hadn’t died, just nearly so, and the figure before her was the voice in her dreams.  “I’m alive because of you.”

            Very close, said the figure with a voice like waves upon the shore, But you will understand that later.  For now, you simply must wake up!

            Alex obeyed, waking to a voice that sounded like a clap of thunder.  She was alone in a deep canyon, surrounded by dirt and rock on all sides.  The sky above her was painted in a mix of purples and pinks.  The sun set in the distance, partially obscured by what looked like an enormous tree.

            The area pulsed with life.  Alex could see nothing, but she could feel it everywhere. The light, the air, the stones themselves were filled with life’s energy.  They shined brilliantly, like stars, in her mind.

            She stood and dusted herself off.  Her body was surprisingly intact. She bore no wounds or scars, just light bruises where her flesh had been rent.  They ached to the touch.

            She stretched.  “Okay, no worse for the wear.  Now, let me see.”  She looked toward the horizon and felt the warmth of the sun on her skin.  She could feel them, all of them.  They were there, somewhere, lost in this foreign land.  “Shana.  Carolyne, Abraham, Ellen, and that guy.  They’re all here.”  She glanced at her surroundings and said, “Wherever here is.”

“Okay, okay, first thing’s first, I need to find a city or something.  So, just pick a direction and get going.”  With that, she set out, marching toward the setting sun.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Shana heard running water and felt moisture in the air.  It was hot, wherever she was, and very sticky.  Opening her eyes hurt, but she blinked through the pain as her vision adjusted to the light.  The sky was a dark canopy of leaves, parted in places to let lances of light spill through and illuminate the dark earth below.  She sat up slowly, her hands sinking into the soft dirt around her.

            She was in a forest or a jungle of some sort, one that was clearly very far away from home.  Vegetation like she had never seen before surrounded her on all sides.  It grew up the sides of the enormous pillar-like trees, bark brown like dark chocolate and branches supporting the sky.  Vivid red flowers sat next to blinding yellows and fiery oranges.  Bushes the size of her torso swallowed her to the knee as she stood.  The air was sweet and muggy.

            To her left was a small waterfall with a pool below.  The water was clear and pure, and she could see the bottom through her own reflection.  Small boulders and rocks broke the surface as mist floated about the base of the fall, where water met water.  The cliff side stone was a soft yellow with a hard texture.

            Shana turned in place, taking it all in.  Wherever she was, she certainly wasn’t at home.  Even in spring, the Midwest never got this hot or this wet.  She could feel it in her lungs with each breath, feel it collecting on her skin like a glass in summer.  Every movement was harder to make here, harder to will forward.  She still felt very tired but settling beside the pond and soaking her feet inside helped her some.

            At the water’s edge she eyed her own reflection.  The ripples in the water warped and distorted her imagine and reminded her of the battle.  Reality had bent around Alex’s arm, where that strange steel blade had been.  It did the same around Carolyne, who swung a thin-bladed rapier and produced a flash brighter than the big bang.

            Shana rinsed her face and forced herself to standing.  If she was there, then Alex was, too, and that meant Shana had to find her.  She looked up the steep incline of the waterfall.  It wasn’t too tall for her to climb and, from there, she could get a better view of wherever she was.  Hopefully, she could see a city or something similar, somewhere she could get help.

            She walked the edge of the pool and came to a stop at the cliff’s base.  Up close it looked taller but possible.  She felt along the rocky surface, tracing her palm across the rough face of it, feeling the hard edges and protrusions.  Then, she pulled herself up by one stone, planted her foot on another and tested her weight.  It would be difficult. She was a soft girl unaccustomed to such trials, but she was also determined.

            A shiver spread through her, and her skin pricked.  Someone was watching her, but when she looked over her shoulder, she couldn’t see anyone in the darkened canopy.  The feeling stayed with her, though, and carried her forward.  She pulled herself up, one foot, one hand, at a time.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Abel was tall, immeasurably so.  Compared to Carolyne, most people were, but he seemed greater still than most people.  Abel didn’t just tower over her.  He towered over the world. It was more than height.  It was presence.  Reality itself bowed before him, and he commanded with the omnipotence of a god.  Being around him made Carolyne feel even smaller than usual.  It made her feel weak.

            She woke alone in a cavern mouth and was drawn to him, a moth to a flame.  He waited for her outside, in the purple twilight and watched her approach.  Something about him terrified her in the same way Riis has terrified her.  It intrigued and repulsed her, and she found herself following him without a word.

            He led her to a cathedral.  It stood alone, in the center of a sandy, orange canyon.  The dusky orange sky watched from above.  A long, dark bridge spanned the gap between the canyon walls and this solitary pillar of stone in the center where the cathedral stood.  From where she was, she could see the entire world, including the massive tree in the distance, but she couldn’t see the purple twilight or the cavern anymore.

            The cathedral was tall, like Abel.  From outside she peeked through enormous black doors, wrought from wood and bound by steel, at the darkened vestibule within.  Pews lined the floor.  Grey pillars stretched up to the angular ceiling, looking more like they were reaching for it than holding it aloft.  Gargoyles watched as she entered.

            The interior was cold.  A large platform rose from the far end.  She could see stained glass looming high above in an oval.  An angel sat in the center, asleep, a sword clutched to her breast.  A stairway spiraled up in one corner to an interior balcony that held four torches and a shining red light.

            Carolyne followed him up.  She felt cold and sick, and she wanted a cigarette.  They came to a stop in front of a shimmering red gemstone in the center of the balcony.  It was enormous and swallowed the light around it.  The red glow came from it, and she could feel the heat of its light.

            Abel looked at her with hollow, dark eyes.  “What will you do?”

            His voice set her on edge.  It was strong but empty, like his eyes.  There was no fear, no hesitation, and no joy.  Every word was carefully weighed and measured, determined eons before being spoken.  She couldn’t speak, not to him.  She didn’t have the right.  So, she shrugged.

            “When the time comes will you find yourself able to act?”

            Another shrug but this time she felt more was expected.  She cleared her throat.  “I did before.”

            “Will you again?”

            “I don’t give second chances lightly.”  She looked into the gemstone, at its dark, liquid center.  It attracted her and seemed to open for her.  She blinked, and it was inert.  She took a deep breath.  “And I don’t give third chances at all.”

            He smiled, but it wasn’t a smile.  It was a ghost, the memory of a smile, a gesture that his body knew but his mind had forgotten.  His long, dark hair swept around him, fanning as he turned.  It looked like the night-sea swallowing the shoreline.  “Do not fail me.”

            Carolyne shuddered.  “I won’t.”

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Ellen awoke with a sore thigh and a sore neck.  Her head was inclined at a strange angle.  Her body was crammed into a tiny crevice.  She found herself in a small, dimly lit grotto.  What light came in reflected off the blue and black stones.  She could hear water dripping somewhere around her.

            The last thing she remembered was feeling tired and weak, too weak to protect Abraham.  She had run so far and hoped to hide among the buildings.  Once inside she became too dizzy to move and shortly thereafter blacked out.  Everything else was a series of hazy images and sounds lacking cohesion.

            She felt her leg.  It stung, but she couldn’t find a scar.  Afterward, she groped in the darkness, slipping face-first into a shallow pool of water.  She crawled her way through toward the opening in the wall.  It was just large enough for her.  She scraped her knees on the way out.

            The opening placed her near the summit of a small hill in the middle of nowhere.  Lush, green grass grew knee-high.  Patches of wild flowers, all in warm colors, swayed in the gentle wind.  The sky was a rich blend of pinks and reds.  A few clouds were moving in, but they still seemed so far off.

            She wrung her shirt and then looked herself over.  Her leg was wholly intact, and aside from a bruise where she had been cut and some scraps from the cave, she seemed fine.  She was alone, though, with no one and nothing in sight.

            In the distance she could see an enormous tree.  It was so large that it seemed to reach the sky.  There were no buildings around it though.  There was nothing but rolling hills and grass and trees.

            The wind was cold on her wet flesh. She curled up and shivered, muttering hopelessly.  Grunting, she plopped down in the dirt.  Wherever she was, she wasn’t home, and she wasn’t sure what people do when they were lost and wanted to be found.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Alex rested her chapped hand against the canyon wall.  She had been walking for what felt like hours but there was no end in sight.  The stone was rough against her skin and the air dry.  Her nostrils burned with each breath and her throat felt rough, but she couldn’t stop.  She refused to stop.

            Her legs quaked.  When she set out, she felt full of energy, but that energy didn’t last long.  Now, she felt weak, even sick.  The air was heavy around her, and each breath made her feel worse than before.

            The sky above didn’t change.  The low pink glow of twilight remained, broken only by the hazy, grey branches of that distant tree.  It was no closer.  Nothing was.

            She swallowed and breathed, and then pushed off the wall, shuffling forward.  No matter how tired she got, she would keep walking.  Her feet could bleed, her legs fold in, and her body decay, and she would keep moving.  She couldn’t feel it anymore or hear the voice in her soul.  It was lost in the cacophony of life that surrounded and swallowed her, but none of that mattered.  Shana was out there, lost in the very same noise, and waiting for her, and that was enough to keep Alex moving.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Ellen sat, waiting in the grass.  She picked a few blades and tore them apart, strip-by-strip, to pass the time.  While she did it, she thought about the events that lead her there.  She thought about Alex and Carolyne, about Abraham and the mystery surrounding her, and the mystery she seemed to bring with her.

            The only thing she knew for certain was that Alex was alive.  She didn’t fully understand how, but when everything went black, she could have sworn Abraham spoke to her, promised Alex would survive.  Whatever happened, Ellen wanted to believe that much at least.

            Deep down, Ellen felt responsible for all of it.  She felt responsible while it was happening, though she didn’t fully believe that the police could have stopped Carolyne. Still, if she had listened and turned Abraham over then perhaps things would have turned out differently.

            She heard someone moving through the grass.  At first, she kneeled down, hiding from view, her heart in her throat.  Then, she took a deep breath and swallowed her fear.  She had to grow up, think like an adult.  She thought it could be Alex, so she stood.

            It wasn’t Alex.  Instead, it was a man with a handsome face and dark hair. His presence made her feel serene. He wore a jacket, a stained t-shirt, and blue jeans. When he saw her, he smiled.  “I finally found you,” he said.  His voice was smooth and as handsome as he was.

            “Who are you?”

            He surveyed the area first and then fixed his gaze on her.  “My name is Isaac, Isaac Eralder.  I’m sort of a friend of Alex’s, and I’m here to help you.”

            “How did you know I was here?”

            Isaac scratched the back of his neck.  “It’s hard to explain.”

            “We’ve got time.”

            “Not as much as you might think,” he said, casting another glance toward the horizon.  “How about I tell you what I can while we walk?  That good enough?”

            Ellen nodded and held out her hand.  “I’m Ellen Summers.”

            “Nice to meet you,” he said, shaking her hand.  “Now, come on, we’ve got a ways to go and a lot to talk about.”

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Shana reached the cliff top in what she liked to pretend was record time.  The climb left her tired and sore all over.  Her hands and feet burned uncomfortably from a series of small, shallow scratches from the rocks.

            She took a moment to rest at the summit, soaking her hands and feet in the rushing water nearby.  While she rested, she took in her surroundings.  As far as she could see there was nothing but jungle, even from that vantage point.  In the distance a tree, as large as a sky scraper, eclipsed the sky.

            Life pulsed through this place.  She could hear it all around her, almost feel it.  It invaded her senses and stole her focus.  She tried to filter it out, find something familiar, something neutral, and to keep her focus on the matter at hand: finding Alex.

            The hair on her arms stood up.  She could feel that presence again.  It stood in the distance, watching, waiting.  She looked around but saw nothing.  Her stomach twisted, and she moved without thinking.  Something inside told her to run, to hide, to escape.  She was prey, running in a random direction, back into the shelter of the trees.

            She went deeper into the jungle, ducking under vines and tripping in the underbrush.  She landed hard in the dirt, knocking the breath from her, and lied there for a moment.  Then she rolled onto her back and rubbed her bosom, which broke her fall.

            The presence was gone.  It wasn’t behind her anymore.  In an instant it disappeared, leaving her to stare up at the leaf-blotted sky and ponder.  She thought that, perhaps, it wasn’t fear but anxiety.  Trekking across a jungle was never really one of her life goals, and it definitely wasn’t something she had planned to do before graduating high school.

            “Hello,” a voice called.  It was raspy and distinctly female.  Shana looked around but saw nothing.  “Hello,” the voice called again, this time curious.

            Shana scrambled to her hands and knees and scanned the area, but she couldn’t see anyone.  She pulled herself up to her feet and pushed deeper into the trees, seeking the origin of the mysterious voice, hoping it might be Alex.

            She stopped and looked around.  Her heart beat hard in her chest, and her mind was in a frenzy.  Sound surrounded her on all sides, and she couldn’t hear the voice anymore.  She couldn’t hear anybody, but she could feel life all around her still, shifting and swelling.

            Closing her eyes, she blocked it all out and focused on the important thing, the only thing: Alex.  As she opened her eyes, she marched forward and kept reminding herself that somewhere Alex was lost and alone, and it was up to Shana to find her.  They were best friends, after all.

            She took a few steps and felt the presence again.  It was in front of her in the form of a pale, voluptuous woman.  Her face was expressive, full-lipped and lustful.  Her hair was dark and curly and stretched down her entire body like a cloak.  “Hello,” she said, her voice raspy.

            Shana backed away into a nearby tree and stared.  The woman stepped toward her.

            “You don’t need to be afraid.  I’m here to help.”

            Shana had no reason to doubt the woman, but she didn’t see a reason to believe her, either.  The fear she felt was enough to keep distance.

            The woman smiled in a loving, albeit manipulative way.  “My name is Samantha, and I won’t hurt you, I promise.  What’s your name?”

            Shana took a deep breath and steadied her shaking limbs.  “Shana,” she said hesitantly.

            “Good, see, that wasn’t so hard,” Samantha said warmly.  “And what are you doing here, Shana?”

            Samantha looked her in the eye, and Shana shied away.  She looked anywhere but at the woman.  Eye contact made her feel queasy.  “I’m—I’m not sure.”

            “Are you lost?” 

            Shana nodded. 

            “Maybe I can help you, then.  I can lead you out of here.”

            “How?”

            Samantha laughed a rich, throaty laugh, covering her mouth politely in the process.  “Oh, I didn’t introduce myself properly.  I’m Samantha, and I live here.”

            Finally, Shana looked the woman in the eyes, and she froze on spot.  “Where is ‘here’ exactly?”

            The woman’s smile became thin and dangerous.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Alex stopped cold when she saw her.  At some point the canyon had, without warning, disappeared.  She found herself walking along a stone-laid path, and a hundred feet away or so was Abraham.  She was lying, her black hair spread around her, her eyes closed.

            Abel stood above her, his head high.  He kneeled down and scooped her up.  His eyes, normally hollow, gleamed with joy.

            Alex, filled with a sudden burst of energy, moved.  She leapt through the air and, as she flew, called Three Gods in a flash of light.  She didn’t know Abel, but from a glance she knew his intent.  She could feel something off in the way he smiled at Abraham, in the way he held her like a sacred object, not a person.

            Her arm gleamed as the blade formed out of the air.  She meant to end it with one strike.  She had fought Caorlyne to a stand-still over Abraham, and she was determined to do it again if necessary.

            Abel saw her and kept smiling.  “Hands off,” Alex shouted as she came sailing down.  She pointed her sword for his chest and thrust forward, and her breathe caught.  She landed and stopped, her blade now above her head.  “You’re…”

            Carolyne stood before Abel, her Voice ready.  She didn’t even wince as Alex came down.  Three Gods hovered dangerously close to her head, but she was unafraid.  Rather, she was smiling.  “Hello, Alexandra.”

            “Carolyne?”  Alex staggered back.  “What are you?”

            “We still need her.  She’s more than just the gateway or the key, and there’s more to this place than what you see,” Carolyne said.  “Much more.”

            Alex lowered her Voice and let it fade.  Suddenly, she felt sick.  “This place?”

            “Yes, haven’t you figured it out yet?”

            “No, what are you talking about?”

            Carolyne giggled sardonically.  “Sometimes, I can’t believe you.  Well, then, allow me to explain, dear.  Welcome to the Emotion.”

18: Volume One: EMOTION, Chapter Two: EMOTION, part 2 The Bonegrinder

Chapter Two: EMOTION, part 2 The Bonegrinder

 

            Alex was stuck like stone.  She couldn’t move, she could hardly breathe.  It felt like being underwater, the pressure of it crushing down on her, leaving her too weak to fight, to stand, and so she kneeled in prayer and stared, and she fought not to cry.  “Carolyne, you’re here.”

            Carolyne smiled down at her, an empty gesture.  She held no love for Alex, no affection.  Rather, she was looking down on her, a queen on high.  “Yes, I am.”

            “Why?  Why are you doing this?”  Alex looked past Carolyne, at Abel, who held Abraham cradled in his arm and waited patiently.  “Why are you helping him?  Protecting him?”

            “Because I have to, if I want to move on, to move past this physical body, to a place where I truly belong.”

            “Beyond this physical body?”

            Carolyne’s jaw went tight.  She swished the thin blade of her Voice like a cat swishes its tail.  “Don’t you understand?”  Then, she shook her head, tilting it like a disappointed parent as she sighed.  “No, of course you don’t.  We’re in the Emotion, the heart of God!”

            Alex breathed through her confusion.  She still had tears in her eyes, but she didn’t have anything to wipe them away.  The pain was dull in her chest, in the emptiness where her heart had been so long ago gone, where Alicia’s death had left it hollow.  “The heart of God?”  The words were heavy on her tongue, full of meaning that was beyond her.

            Carolyne shook her head again.  The smile she wore, empty as it was, receded, and Alex found she missed it.  “No, I’m wrong,” she said.  “The heart of God is here, but it’s not here.  Which is why we need the girl.  She has opened the door, but we still need hear to lead us the rest of the way.”

            Alex remained kneeling, supporting herself with her hands as the sobs shook her body.  Abel moved now, touching Carolyne on the shoulder.  “Enough.  We should leave.”

            Carolyne lingered.  Her hand was tight around her Voice, her skin stretched thin and pale from the tight grip.  “What do you want to do with her? What if she comes after us?”

            Abel spared Alex a glance.  His eyes were dark and bottomless.  They held the entire world in them.  “I’ve arranged to have that taken care of.” 

            “I can do it.”  Carolyne’s wrist twitched as she spoke.  The tip of her Voice bobbed before her.

            “I know, but I have decided.”

            Carolyne glared at Alex and then huffed. Her Voice faded in a flash of light, and she turned and followed Abel’s retreat.  Alex watched them leave.  As the distance grew between them, she found it easier to breath.  She steadied herself and stood, and while she was hurt by Carolyne’s words, she was happy to see her alive.  Whatever their history, she didn’t feel right taking anyone’s life.

            Despite that, she also didn’t feel right letting them take Abraham, either.  She remembered her promise and intended still to follow through.  Liquid steel formed from the air and swallowed her arm.  It extended into a blade and solidified with a red jewel gleaming at its base, held in the open maw of a fierce dragon etched into the bracer.

            She followed them, slowly at first, matching their gait and planning her attack.  Alone, they were stronger than her.  Together, they were unstoppable.  She couldn’t win, but she could surprise them long enough to take Abraham and run.  At least, she hoped she could.  Carolyne was weaker and would be the easiest target.  One slash, and then she would escape with Abraham over her shoulder.

            Alex took a deep breath to swallow her heart.  Then, she broke out into a full sprint.  Two steps later she met a solid wall of muscle and fell to the ground.  A tall man appeared before her, his orange beard and chest hair were thick with sweat.  He had an amiable air about him despite his menacing form.  The enormous hammer in his hands betrayed his true intentions.

            “Who are you?”

            He offered her a hand and helped her to standing.  His meaty fist swallowed her arm as he lifted her, but he grip was delicate and controlled.

            “Goliath,” he said, and she realized that even when she stood he had at least two feet on her.  His naked chest shined with sweat.

            “Move,” she said, and she made to step around him only to be intercepted.  A frown pinched her face.  “What are you doing?”

            “Sorry, but I’m here to stop you.  That’s the orders I’ve been given.”

            She glared.  “You’re supposed to stop me?”

            “Well, kill you, actually.”

            Alex swung wide, her blade whistling as it sliced the wind, and he side-stepped the blow.  He moved quickly despite his size.  The tip of her blade narrowly missed the tip of his nose, and Alex had a feeling he planned it that way.  He bounced back once his feet planted and before she could register the miss his hammer dug into her torso like a fist.  She slid back a few inches before falling flat onto her back and into a fit of coughs.

            “I was trying to be fair about this,” he said.  “I was going to let you lay down your life before me, let me end your suffering rather than prolong it.  And that offer stands.  All you have to do is bow your head and let it happen.”  As he spoke, he lifted his massive hammer with one hand and paced a slow half-circle around her.

            She watched him, his muscles bulging.  His strength matched his size.  He could kill her in seconds, but the thought didn’t scare her.  Death wouldn’t be so bad.  A few hours earlier it had been a small relief.  It is the things she would leave behind that frightened her, the promises she made, and the people she loved.

            Cast not in iron but in flesh and blood, which made it all the stronger, she hardened her resolved.  Her gasps died, and she stood, legs shaking and stomach aching but still proud, and she pointed her blade at him in warning.  “I made a promise.  So, I’m going to have to take you down.”

            He sighed heavily and paused to hang his head in mourning.  “Dear, words are empty without the strength to back them, and sadly, you have so very little strength.”

            “Never heard of David and Goliath?”

            His face hardened, and he shook his head.  “Fine.  Let’s get this over with.”

            He charged her as a rhinoceros, head down and barreling forward.  Once close enough, he swung downward with his hammer.  She stumbled away as the ground cracked around her.  The impact was so strong that the ground shook and groaned under the stress.

            Shortly after he twisted, bringing the hammer around to crush her head like a melon.  She ducked under at the last minute and held to the ground, almost afraid to be blown away by the inertia.

            The attack left him open as the hammer swung back.  Alex push off the ground and lunged at him, driving her blade for his core.  A thrill ran through her, congratulating her for defeating him and cursing her for the life she would take.  It was premature though, as he easily stepped out of range before her blade could touch his big chest.  His big foot met her partway and sent her tumbling backward.

            She landed face down and fell into another fit of coughs.  Everything hurt, and her bones felt flimsy and paper-like.  She applauded her soul though.  Without a Voice, she surely would have died already.

            Slowly, she forced herself to standing and swallowed her coughs.  Each breath brought a sharp pain to her side and chest.  The world spun around her in a hazy blur.

            “Really, this is embarrassing and pointless.  Just give up already.  In fact, if you start begging now, the master may let you live.”

            Mention of Abel, of that man, set a fire in Alex’s soul.  While her bones were weak and her legs shaking, her resolve remained solid.  She charged forward again, having decided it was do-or-die.  This time, she aimed for his heart.

            Goliath brought his hammer around, and Alex had just enough time to turn, throwing her arm up in defense before being hit.  It was like a car crashing into her side.  She dug in and rather than being tossed like a ragdoll, she slid across the ground two feet before falling to a knee.

            Three Gods bent. The synthetic steel fractured.  Blood ran down the side of her arm where her Voice cut into her flesh.  Her legs shook again, but she had no time to lick her wounds.  Goliath continued his assault, bringing an attack down at an angle and aiming for her shoulder.

            Side-stepping the attack, she moved in closer.  He reached out with his free hand and grabbed her by the shoulder, throwing her away like a bag of garbage.  She flew a yard or so and landed on her good side.  On impact she heard a sound like a wet twig snapping, and pain rushed through her when she slid to a halt.

            Lying there, face down on the stones, she shook and sobbed.  What she felt wasn’t simply pain.  It was greater than anything she knew or experienced before.  This time, she wasn’t sure she could get back up.

            Stand up!  Fight!

            The voice came from nowhere.  Alex looked around but saw no one save Goliath, who marched menacingly toward her.

            There is no time!  Trust us, and you will live!

            It was within her, and it was right.  Goliath was above her, his hammer in mid-arc for the final blow.  Alex winced and prepared for the worst, but time slowed.  Sound stopped for a moment, and the pain receded.

            Listen to these words and repeat them aloud.  Express the intent of your soul!

            “Blazing corona, lustrous light, red blade of power, lend me your might!” She hardly spoke the words, but she felt the power flowthrough her.  Intense heat surged through her veins, seeking escape.  She funneled it into Three Gods and watched the blade adopt a blinding red glow. “Burning Blade!”

            She brought her Voice up to meet the hammer and sliced the head cleanly in two.  The top flew off into the canyon wall.  The bottom fell down harmlessly in front of her.  Goliath paused and regarded it for a moment.

            Alex stood still, uncertain of what transpired.  Carolyne had used such a strange gift before, and she had said something about hearing the voice.  She breathed, and the blade dulled, no longer casting heat or light as it had.  The air sizzled faintly against the cooling steel.

            Goliath shifted his stance and twirled the pole-arm of his hammer, using it like a staff.  He caught her in the side and knocked her to the ground.  She rolled away and got to her knees, doubled over, panting, and holding her ribs. Three Gods blurred.

            Goliath lifted her pole-arm and regarded the burnt hammer head.  Then he threw it to the side like a broken toy and reached into the air.  From nothing he produced a large chain attached weight about the size of his fist.  He dropped the weighted end to the ground and grabbed the chain, tugging it hard and twirling the weight around overhead.

            Wheezing and struggling to stay awake, Alex forced herself to her feet.  She didn’t have much longer.  Her Voice was fading, and she couldn’t hear it anymore.  She felt alone and overwhelmed as she watched him stir up the air with his new weapon.  If it would end, then it would end soon.

            Goliath spun and stepped forward, hurling the weight at her.  Alex brought her blade up to meet it, to cut it in half as she had his hammer, but her blade collapsed on contact.  It erupted into shards and then dissolved into the air.  The weight clipped her arm, tearing the skin on the way into the canyon wall.

            Goliath frowned and paced, a predator eying his prey.  From the air he pulled out a small, curved blade.  He dropped the chain and marched over to her, twirling his weapon in his hand. Above her his lifted the blade and it gleamed in the light.  With one swift movement he could end her.  Alex looked up, wide-eyed, and then rolled out of the way.  He cut the air where she had been but followed her close.  Gripping her by the throat, he lifted her effortlessly into the air.

            He pulled the blade back and prepared to finish her.  When he swung, she flailed, kicking at him.  The blade left a shallow gash in her right leg, but she managed to kick it from his hands.  Goliath growled, released her and quickly brought his fist back around, knocking her hard into the stone walls.  The rock fissured behind her.  Then he seized her by the torso and tossed her into the ground.

            She hit hard and slid across the dirt.  As soon as she stood, she found herself facing the chained weight again.  He launched it at her head after a short spin.  Again, she held her arms up and, out of pure adrenaline, managed to conjure her Voice one last time.  Three Gods appeared to soak the attack and fractured immediately afterward.

            The weight hit like a cannon ball, knocking her back to the ground and sending her sliding.  Her arm snapped under the force, and she held it and howled in pain.  Tears came to her eyes as she gasped and clawed at the ground.  Slowly, shakily, she forced her way up.

            Through blurred vision she watched him approach.  His body melded with the surroundings.  Periodically everything went black, and she’d come back clutching the wall to keep from falling.  When he was close enough, she stumbled forward, swinging futilely.

            He pinned her to the wall and came in close.  She whimpered and beat on his heavy chest, but she knew it was useless.  He would be her death.  She knew it and accepted it.  Part of her was sad, but only for the people who she left behind, for the people she disappointed, for the promises she would have to break.

            Then he stood there, holding her to the wall.  She could barely see him, but she could feel his presence.  His hand shook, not from weight, but from pity, and he released her.  Her legs buckled immediately, and she fell to the ground.

            He left her there, broken, bruised, but alive.  She wanted to ask him why, but she was too weak even to stay awake.  The last thing she saw was his enormous back as he walked away.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Isaac took Ellen hand and helped her to standing, and then they walked together toward the horizon.  Neither were sure where the prairie ended or when the desert appeared.  The transition was seamless, like film cut and fashioned together.  One minute they were knee-deep in grass and next they were up to their ankles in sand.  Even when they looked back, they saw nothing but dry winds and long ridgelines of golden sand.

            Ellen walked at Isaac’s side, keeping quiet and staring straight ahead.  He grew distant as the heat swelled.  The Emotion was full of life; he had told Ellen as they walked the flat prairieland.  The desert felt different.  It felt empty, save for two presences, Isaac told her after a time.  This put him on edge.

            In the distance they saw the tree and, closer, oily clouds that swirled and spread above a line of rusted refineries.  As they crested one dune Ellen came to a stop, legs bent as she held to her knees for support.  She covered her eyes because, even when hidden behind the dark clouds the sun was too bright, and she stared.  “What’re those?”

            Isaac stopped.  He had his jacket off and wrapped around his waist.  Sweat was showing under his arms and along his chest.  He wiped some from his upper lip.  “I’m not sure.”  It was the first time he had said that to her, and he didn’t seem pleased with it.

            She stood straight and fanned herself.  “Really?”

            He gave her a smile.  “But we’ll figure it out.”

            She nodded and smiled back.  His eyes were green and shined like gemstones in the desert sun.  She didn’t understand what was going on, but she trusted him to see her through it.  So, when he started down the hill, she followed at his back feeling safe in his proximity.

19: Volume One: EMOTION, Chapter Three: EMOTION, part 3 Synergy

Chapter Three: EMOTION, part 3 Synergy

 

            “The Emotion, dear, you’re in the Emotion,” Samantha said.  The words set off something strange in Shana’s heart.  Heat washed over her, and for a moment she no longer feared Samantha but viewed her as a peer, an equal.  The moment faded in a flash, and then they were miles apart.  Shana stared at Samantha as if she were a goddess.

            Words, Shana searched for words, but none came.  Her voice hid from her, so she stood quietly and watched, wide-eyed, ready to flee if necessary.  Samantha stepped out from the foliage.  “Don’t be afraid,” she said.  From within her cocoon of hair, her hand appeared.  It was dainty and pale.  “Now, come, please, and I’ll tell me why you’re here.”

            Shana looked at Samantha’s hand but didn’t move.  “I’m looking for someone.”

            “Oh?   May I ask who?”

            “Alex.”

            Samantha’s red lips curled into a knowing smile.  She hummed and then clicked her tongue.  “I think I know where to find her.”

            “Really,” Shana said, her gaze drifting and meeting Samantha’s.  “Can you take me to her?”

            “Yes, if you can get those legs moving and follow.”

            Samantha withdrew her hand and leaped from her perch on the tree.  She started down the jungle path, stopped, and looked back.  “Are you coming?”

            Shana stood, stone-still, and swallowed the fear in her gut.  “Yes,” she said, nodding.  She was afraid, but if there was even a small chance of finding Alex, then it was worth the danger.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            They walked in silence for what felt like hours.  Samantha led her swiftly through the jungle, stopping from time-to-time to make sure Shana was still there.  She looked proud, Shana thought, as if she were happy to have someone following her.

            Gradually, Shana’s fear faded.  She remained wary of the strange woman but didn’t sense any ill-intent.  Alex took up her freed focus and kept her quiet.  She didn’t speak, didn’t ask questions, for fear it might slow their progress.  Sometimes, when she closed her eyes to wipe away the sweat collecting on her brow, Shana could still see Alex bleeding in the rain, dying.  It made her feel sick.

            The jungle was endless.  Tall, dark trees loomed overhead, their branches spread out like arms embracing each other.  Their leaves were dark and healthy and caught the light.  Irregular breaks in the canopy showed in radiant pillars that seemed to rise toward the sky rather than falling from it.

            Shana staggered and cursed.  The underbrush was thick with vines and bushes, all surviving on what nutrients they could steal from the things around them.  She was still barefoot, and her pajama pants were crusted with dirt and mud.  Samantha walked barefoot, too, Shana realized, but didn’t seem to have the trouble navigating.  She hopped from root to root as if she were gliding

            Shana could hear animals, hear life all around her, but she never saw any.  She also never saw anything manmade.  There were no jungle trails, no wooden bridges, no markers or signs.  Seemingly, there was no civilization here, just life in its raw, unaltered form.  It made her feel out of place and, combined with the humidity, overwhelmed her.

            They came to a stop at another rocky waterfall.  The water here was as clear as the last, and Shana drank from it greedily and sighed as she splashed it across her face and down her body.  She shivered as it rolled down her sweaty flesh.  Samantha watched her from the side, smiling quietly as Shana shook her hands off.  “Uh, yeah?”

            “I can help you,” Samantha said, sitting up.  She appeared to be naked underneath all of her hair, and Shana could see ghostly white skin peaking from between the dark curls.  “Help you so that you never lose track of her again.”

            It seemed impossible, but so did everything else that day.  Logic and reason didn’t play into Alex bleeding in the rain, and it definitely didn’t follow Shana into the jungle that the light saw fit to leave her in.  It was back in Sadieville and seemed too afraid to bridge the gap.

            Samantha reached her hand out and tapped the water.  Ripples spread through the bond, meeting the ripples made by the waterfall and mating with them.  They glided across the surface of the water, parting again near Shana’s feet.  “You could even protect her, if need be.”

            Shana paused now, thought of blood in the rain, thought of muddy knees and tears at the cemetery.  It hurt to feel so powerless. It was worse to be that powerless.  All she could do for years was watch her best friend suffer, and it hurt too much to keep watching.

            She didn’t trust Samantha, but she also didn’t care.  Alex needed saving from so many things, and Shana would give anything to be able to succeed even once.  So, she looked Samantha in the eye, and she knitted her brow, and she said, “Fine.  Show me.”

 

: EMOTION :

 

            When Alex woke, she could hardly see.  She shuddered and suffered through great floods of hot and cold.  Then, she fell back into dark, deep unconsciousness.

            Later, she woke to the very same.  She rolled onto her side and coughed, hard, until blood oozed from her mouth.  The world around her was filled with black spots.  She could make out a cool, stone floor underneath her but nothing else.  She rested her head against it and blacked out a second time.

            Again, she woke, and this time she tried to move.  Pain shot through her entire body.  All of her muscles flared to life, and she did her best to curl into a ball on the ground while coughing hard.  Every breath was a struggle accompanied by whistles and wheezes.

            She opened her eyes and, for a brief moment, her vision aligned.  She was alone on a stone altar.  Statues of ancient things surrounded her on all sides.  It was midday and slightly overcast.  Rain clouds hung in the air, unmoving.

            Gradually, the pain eased as she lied there.  So long as she didn’t move, she wouldn’t suffer.  She almost wished Goliath would have killed her, but then she would have left Shana behind.

            Shana.

            That single thought was enough.  Through the pain in her side and her arms, she pushed her broken body up to standing and started moving.  What happened to her no longer mattered.  Shana was there somewhere.  Alex could feel it, and so long as Alex could breathe, she would find her.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Samantha instructed Shana to sit by the water’s edge.  Shana stared into her reflection, which stared back.  Samantha stood behind her, tall and proud.  They were both silent, and the tension in the air swelled.

            The longer she sat, the more Shana felt like it was a waste of time.  Alex was out there somewhere, desperate and alone.  Sitting wouldn’t find her, action would.

            Samantha leaned over, and her reflection appeared in the water beside Shana’s.  Her longer, curly black hair fell forward over Shana’s shoulders.  “Do you understand what the Emotion is, Shana?”

            Shana thought about it and then shook her head.  Part of her wanted to ask how that would help the matter.

            “Essentially, it is the world’s heart, but it’s not the heart in a literal sense, but in a spiritual sense.  It is the world’s soul.  You see, everything has a soul, the world, you, it all has a heart that animates it.”  She paused, as if to give Shana time to understand.  Then she said, “That is where the power to protect your friend will come from.  You just need to find it within yourself.”

            “Right,” Shana said.  She looked into Samantha’s eyes in the water and asked, “And how am I going to do that?”

            Samantha kneeled down behind Shana and leaned in close.  Her breath danced along Shana’s neck as she whispered. “Close your eyes and clear your mind.  Feel out your heart, it’s beat and it’s breath.  Feel the world’s heart beating around you.”

            It sounded like nonsense, but Shana followed along.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to clear her mind.  Sun spots appeared on her eye lids.

            She kept breathing, fighting to ignore the sound of life around her, of the brilliance of the sun, of the sticky on her skin.  Instead, she focused on the continued beating of her heart.  As she did, the beating became more prominent, until it took up all of her focus.

            She was at rest, and her heartbeat was rhythmic and reassuring.  She was alive, that is what it told her.  Soon, she breathed in tune with the beating of her heart, and she breathed deeper and deeper, filling her lungs and emptying them. 

            Somewhere at her center, deep in the darkest reaches, she felt a spark.  The sun spots went wild, flaring into vivid reds and yellows behind her eyes.  Shapes took form in the darkness, appearing as flower or a sunrise.  In the back of her consciousness she felt something reaching for her, begging for her to listen. A voice.

            Heat swelled in her chest, like sunshine on a cold day.  It was the nurturing warmth of a mother singing a lullaby.  It was a guardian angel come down from heaven, and Shana knew it was there to lead the way to Alex.

            Shana’s hands flexed, and inside she tried to grab the heat, but it slipped through her fingers.  Its disappearance was so sudden that it left Shana falling backward, as if the presence had been holding her up all along.

            When she opened her eyes, she was flat on the ground and struggling for breath.  Her heart hammered and her body ached.  At first, she had forgotten where she was, but when she saw Samantha everything came back.

            “What was that? What happened?”

            “You failed,” Samantha said.

            Shana sat up quickly and closed her eyes again.

            “Shana, darling, you need to rest.”

            “No, I’ve got it this time,” she said, thoughts of Alex pushing her harder.  She gripped her pants tight and tried to breathe and count her heart beats.  Nothing happened except for growing frustration.  She opened her eyes and sulked at Samantha.  “Why can’t I do this?”

            Samantha smiled and kneeled beside the water.  She pulled her hair back, revealing one pale arm, and she scooped up water and threw it at Shana, who fell back again and yelled.  “You need to cool down,” Samantha said, laughing, and she tossed more water Shana’s way.

            Shana flailed.  “Stop.  Stop it!”

            Samantha righted and shook her hand dry over the water.  She seemed so tall and regal when she looked down at Shana.  “And you need to rest and think on this, because you can’t force this awakening.”

            “But I need to find Alex!”

            “You will.  She will be fine even if you take a nap.  In fact, she would be even better if you did this right.  I promise you.  Please, you must be patient and do this right.  Otherwise, you’ll just end up making things worse.”

            Shana shook her wet hair in a rebellious manner and then sighed. “Fine, then let’s get something to eat if we can.  I’m starving.”

            Samantha smiled. “That sounds fine, dear.”

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Together, they gathered fruit from the trees and then ate in the shadow of the canopy but also insight of the stream.  Shana sat on an exposed tree root and ate greedily while Samantha watched from the side.  The fruit was tart and hurt her gums on first bite, but after eating her fill the taste mellowed.  She dropped the skins beside her and laid back.  Her full belly made her sleepy, and suddenly she felt the effort of the day come upon her.

            She watched the blue, clear sky.  Clouds were painted in place, stationary and never moving.  The sky, she realized, hadn’t changed either.  It had been noon since she arrived, without the sun drifting an inch.  The warm sunlight soothed her, though, melted away her aches and left her only with the fatigue.  She closed her eyes, despite her urgency, and found rest.

            Samantha sat beside her, legs folded and hair parted carefully, covering her body but revealing glimpses of creamy flesh.  She hadn’t spoken much since they settled and seemed content to enjoy the calm.  Shana still felt something from her, something different, but she didn’t fully understand it.  Earlier, when her body burned with life and light, Samantha seemed to fade away.  It was like her light was dull compared to Shana’s.

            “Hey, Samantha,” Shana said without opening her arms.  She had her head cupped and was nestled in the roots.  “I have a question.  Why are you here?”

            “To help you.”

            “I mean, why are you here in the Emotion?”

            Samantha didn’t respond, and Shana opened her eyes to find the other woman pensive.  She was chewing her bottom lip, looking hurt and almost angry.  Then, she blinked and her calm returned.  She met Shana with a look of placid tranquility and, staring into Samantha’s eyes, Shana found she preferred when Samantha showed emotion.  During those moments she at least appeared human.

            “When I was young,” Samantha said, slowly, carefully, picking each word with reason, “I was teased severely.  The people around me said awful things to me, about my body, about my looks, or the lack there off, I guess.  In time, they said worse things about who I was.  You know, personal attacks.  Apparently, they found my personality as utterly repulsive as my body.”

            Shana kept quiet but could feel the hurt in Samantha’s words, see it in the way her body slouched.  The other woman stared fixedly at the soft, dark earth beneath them.  She played idly with her hair, looking no longer tranquil.  Her face was calm, but her body and tone were tense, broken.  She sounded on the verge of tears.

            “Every day, they would find new and creative ways to harass me.  It felt like a never ending punishment for a crime I didn’t commitment.  So.”  Samantha stared now at her wrists, the skin of them so pale they gleamed in the sunlight like wet bone.  “So, I made a wish to leave that place and escape their cruelty.  And I came here.”

            “A wish?”

            Samantha smiled sadly and moved toward her.  She smelled of lilacs and something else, something deeply feminine.  Extending her arm through her curtain of hair, she exposed her forearm again, this time in the shadow of her body.  Up close, Shana could see the wish she made.  Thin, pink scar tissue ran along the width of her wrist.

            Shana covered her mouth.  “Oh, God.”  Carefully, she reached forward, and she touched the very tips of her fingers to the scar, and she shook.  “You…”  Even Alex had never done as much.  Without thinking, Shana took Samantha by the hand and pulled her into a hug.

            Samantha returned it whole-heartedly, burying her face into Shana’s shoulder and crying.  She was warm to the touch and very soft, and her the scent was stronger now, almost suffocating.  It wasn’t just lilac, but an assortment of wildflowers mingling with a pungent female musk.  It was cloying, confusing.

            They parted, eyes locked, and hands touching.  Shana was lost in Samantha’s eyes, rooted in place and unable to move as the other woman moved forward.  Samantha’s lips twitch into a sad smile, her breath danced, hot, across Shana’s face.  Their lips touched, briefly, and Shana held her breath.

            Time stood still.  Shana stared across infinity into Samantha’s eyes, into Samantha’s ivory skin and rose smile.  She thought to push her away but couldn’t react in time.  Their lips meshed and bodies merged and a strange sensation took her.  It was her first kiss, and it wasn’t at all what she expected.  From the stories she heard, Shana thought there would be electricity or fireworks.  Instead, there were bubbles, forming and popping along her spine.  She felt light-headed, maybe even a little drunk.

            Nothing happened until they parted, and then they were back in reality.  Time restarted again and the jungle came to life around them.  Shana was breathless and flushed and laughing.  She pulled Samantha into her again, this time falling forward onto her.  Their tongues met and danced a private ballet between them as they rolled in the grass, stopping with Samantha on her back and Shana atop her.  Their kisses grew desperate and hungry.

            Shana sat up and ran her thumb along Samantha’s jawline.  She smiled and supported herself with her free hand.  “Sorry, I—I don’t know what happened.  I normally wouldn’t, but you just looked so…”  She trailed off.  Her cheeks felt warm, and where time had once been suspended, it now moved faster.  Samantha’s hair was parted now, and her breasts were exposed.  Shana stared.  “You’re beautiful.”

            Samantha smiled and kissed her fingertips. Then, she pressed them to Shana’s lips.  “May I ask you a question, dear?”  Shana nodded.  “How much do you love me?”

            Shana parted her lips and nibbled Samantha’s fingers as she thought.  “How much would you like?”

            Suppressing laughter, Samantha said, “Immeasurably so.”

            Shana kissed Samantha’s finger.  She kissed her way down Samantha’s arm and up her neck, and finally placed a final kiss on her lips.  “Then that’s how much.”

            “Prove it,” Samantha said, embracing Shana.  In that moment Shana did just that.  She proved her love to Samantha and afterward they lie together in a blanket of Samantha’s hair, and they basked in the afterglow.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Shana woke later, wrapped in Samantha’s hair and lying naked in the sun.  It was still noon, as it had been since she arrived, and the cool air dried the sweat of her body.  She rolled on her side and found Samantha sleeping beside her, her pale skin gleaming in the light.  She smiled and kissed her forehead before standing.

            Shana dressed and went to sit by the water.  The air was cooler here and the mist from the water felt good on her skin.  She cupped her hands and took a drink, and she soaked her feet up to the ankles.  The water was cold on the insides of her toes and made her bones ache in a bracing way.

            Time was running short.  Alex was out there lost in the jungle or somewhere else.  Samantha had said Shana could find her, and after what happened earlier, Shana was more determined than ever.  She would unlock the mysterious power she felt earlier and use it to get all three of them back to Sadieville, where she could have a happy life with her best friend and true love at her side.

            She looked back at Samantha.  It was strange to think that she had a true love and even stranger to think it would be a woman.  In all her life, she had never been sexually attracted to women, but Samantha was something special.  They didn’t know each other well, but Shana knew that much at least.  What they had was life changing, and she couldn’t wait to introduce Alex to her.

            “Shana, dear?”  Samantha was still wrapped in her hair, eyes closed and recoiling from the sun.  Shana felt butterflies.

            “Yeah?”

            Samantha sat up then and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.  She stretched and smiled.  “I was just making sure you were still here.”  She looked around.  “And we are still here.  Good.  How long did we sleep?”

            “I’m not sure.”  Shana looked at the clear blue sky and at the omnipresent sun.  “It’s hard to tell here.  But I feel better now that I’ve rested.  So, tell me what I need to do to unlock my soul, or whatever you were calling it, so I can go find Alex.”  Shana went quiet when she saw Samantha’s expression.  The other woman seemed surprised, even worried.  Shana stood.  “What?  What’s wrong?  Did I say something?”

            “No, no, it’s nothing.  I’m just surprised that you,” Samantha swallowed her words.  “I mean, you’re right.  We need to hurry and find your friend.”

            Shana smiled.  “Right.  So, what do I do?”

            Samantha stood and joined Shana by the water.  They sat together, Shana in the front, legs folded beneath her, and Samantha at her back.  Soon, they were embraced, Samantha’s slender, pale arms wrapped around Shana’s ribs and holding her tight.  The butterflies whipped up a storm.

            “Now,” Samantha whispered, her breath tickling Shana’s ear, “Focus on your breathing and think of nothing else.  Forget my scent, forget my touch, forget lips.  All that matters now is you and the world around you.”  As she spoke, she planted kisses along Shana’s neck and traced her fingers along Shana’s arm, leaving a trail of goosepimples in their wake.  “Feel the heat in the body, the flow of it, the swell of it, and harness it.”

            Shana shuddered.  She found it hard to focus on anything else at all.  Samantha’s fingers went up and went down.  They were dainty spider-legs dancing down her forearm and coiling around her wrist.  She had her thumb on Shana’s pulse.  “Now, count your pulse.”

            Everything felt remote.  The world wasn’t there.  It was just Shana and Samantha, and Shana couldn’t feel her pulse.  So, she counted her heartbeat instead, clicking her tongue in rhythm with it to block everything out, and slowly, Samantha fell away.

            Shana felt the sun on her, saw its light behind her eyelids.  The sunspots swelled and swallowed her vision.  Soon, Shana fell away, too, lost like Samantha was.  Her body ceased to be and became the sunshine, and yet she could still feel Samantha there, kissing her neck, breathing into her ear, tickling her arms.

            She was a separate entity, distinct from the world, and she was the world itself.  Her flesh was stone, her blood rivers.  Each breath was a gust of wind, each thought the birth of a star.  The world, she realized, had a pulse like she did, and she started to count it with clicks of her tongue.

            Her heart hammered and burned.  Raw energy traveled through her, filling her as the light had and becoming her as the world had.  From there, Shana could see everything, all of life.  It operated in a delicate balance and could be found anywhere.  Everything breathed, everything had a soul.  She was just a small part of that, and yet she helped to compose something so much greater.

            The sun grew hotter, its warmth swelling inside of her.  Flesh burned, blood boiled.  It was different from her, separate from her, not soothing but barren, dry, and unbearable.  Her bones liquefied into magma and seethed away her insides.

            Shana screamed and ran away.  She crawled back toward her body, back toward the safety of Samantha’s arms and saw the sunspots as pyres on her way.  They formed into images again, each different and distinct.  Then, they formed into Alex.

            She stopped and stared, and she knew then what to do.  Shana faced the flames and stayed the course.  She walked through the pain and found revelation on the other side.  Lava was new flesh being born, and old things must die to make room for the new.

            Suns are the center of a star system, and the planet’s core is molten hot.  A soul is no different.  It is composed of light, heat, and energy, and that is the power she needed.  She had to move through the pain to find it.  Only by accepting this could she reached the deepest parts of her.

            In the flame and in the light she saw a door, and she opened it.

            The light faded.  The world faded.  An ash tree appeared, its bark a prism.  Dark leaves canopied the void and filled the sky with stars.  Its roots were the earth, the dust of them clinging to her bare feet as she walked.  She touched the tree, the pain she felt earlier transmuted into a rapture so exquisite that she couldn’t form words, and then she heard a voice.

            “Open your eyes, dear.”

            Shana heard water and felt mist on her skin.  She was breathless and sweaty, but she was also smiling.  When she opened her eyes Samantha was there, holding her about the ribs, and a hammer rested on her lap.  It had a long grip white in color with a compact head crowned by two small wings on each side.  Gold and blue embroidery wound around the haft and white lace flowed from it like a shawl.

            “You did it.”

            Shana held the hammer in both hands.  It felt familiar, strong, stalwart, and heavy.  “What is it?”

            “Your Voice.  You’ve awakened it.”  Samantha squeezed Shana tight and kissed her on the head.  “Congratulations!”

            Shana lifted the hammer slowly.  It was named Heart’s Song, and it was an extension of her soul.  She wasn’t sure why, but she knew that much about it.

            “I’m so proud of you,” Samantha said.

            Shana looked at her.  They hardly knew each other, but Samantha’s praise meant the world.

            She lifted herself and hefted Heart Song up to rest it on her shoulder.   The world felt different now, and looked different to her, too.  She could feel things that were only faint echoes before.  Life and light surged all around her, and she could feel it in every leaf, every stone, even in the wind itself.  It had been a cacophony when she arrived, but now she saw them individually and among them, she saw Alex.

            Shana looked down at Samantha, who was still sitting by the water, and Samantha met her gaze.  “What is it, love?”

            “I found her,” Shana said, smiling.  “I found Alex.”

            “And you really want to find her?”

            “Of course,” Shana said, and she could see the hurt in Samantha’s eyes.  She held out her hand and helped Samantha up.  “We can go to her together.  Right?”

            “Of course,” Samantha said, but her voice was distant.  She embraced Shana.  “Let us rest first.”

            “But…”

            Samantha glared.  “You’ve done enough for her today.  For now, indulge me.”

            Shana looked out into the distance and saw Alex.  She was at rest, her energy stable if dim, and she sighed.  It was hard to admit, but she was tired, and she had made some progress in finding Alex.  Her Voice faded, and she returned Samantha’s embrace.  “Alright, you win.”

            Samantha smiled and pulled her close, and their lips met.  Before they lied together again, however, Shana thought of Alex one last time and sent her a wish to let her know that they would soon be reunited.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            In another place, perhaps even another time, Alex smiled in her sleep, and she dreamt of Shana, and an ash tree, and holding hands as they sat in the warmth of the sun.

20: Volume One: EMOTION, Chapter Four: Anomie

Chapter Four: Anomie

 

            The emptiness had come suddenly.  Even Isaac seemed surprised by how quickly the grasslands gave way to sand dunes and the baking heat of the sun, and Ellen had believed him unflappable.  When she asked him about it, though, he explained it away by saying it only seemed sudden, but the change had been gradual.  Looking back at the desert behind them, Ellen wasn’t so sure.

            Her shoes were full of sand, and each step made it worse.  Behind them they left a bread crumb trail of footprints.  They traversed over sand dunes large and small, walked through harsh, dusty winds, and still seemed no closer to their destination.  Eventually, Ellen’s legs gave out, and she fell forward and cut her knees.

            Isaac stopped and held out his hand.  “Come on, we’ll be there soon.”   Even as she accepted his hand, Ellen knew he didn’t mean it.  Still, she felt comfort in his grasp.  He was strong, and if anyone could protect her, she wanted to believe that he could.

            She kept holding his hand as they continued forward, and if he was surprised by that, it didn’t show.  He just stared ahead, his finger wounded tightly around hers, as they crested another dune.  At apex they stopped and took in the sight before them.

            Dark clouds choked the sky and floated above a series of large, rusted oil refineries.  They stood, stalwart but decomposing, their steel dulled by the constant erosion they faced.  It looked to Ellen like a city of decay, with each refinery being older than the last.  Isaac went tense in front of her.

            “What’s wrong?”  She squeezed his hand again but felt him pull away.  “Do you see something?”

            Isaac wiped his brow and shook his head.  He squinted and sweated in the sun, which hadn’t moved since their arrival.  “No,” he said, shaking his head again, and he looked at her.  “No, I don’t see anything.”  He smiled.  “I just,” Looking back at the refineries, he went quiet, and then he frowned.  “We just need to find another way through.”

            Ellen squint up at the sun and then looked at the shadows cast by the refineries.  She looked at the empty wasteland around her.  “I don’t think there’s anywhere else.”

            “We can’t go there.”

            “Maybe we could rest there?”  She tried to take his hand again.  It was sudden, she knew, but she wanted to help him like he helped her and didn’t know how.  “Why would that be so bad?”

            He swallowed and stared quietly.  His lips were chapped and his skin dusty.  After a long moment of the wind whipping at his shirt and pressing the sweaty garment flat to his chest, he sighed.  “You’re right.  We have nowhere else to go, do we?”

            “Not really.”

            He sucked in the air and then fell into a fit of coughs.  Then, he pointed forward.  “Then we move forward.”

            She nodded.  “Okay,” she said, but when she looked at the refineries, she felt a sense of dread.  She looked at him again.  “But, just out of curiosity, why didn’t you want to go there in the first place?”  He looked at her, shrugged, and started down the sand.  She followed at him.  “Isaac, why?”

            He looked back at her and put on a grin.  “It was just a bit creepy.  That’s all.”  He offered his hand again.  “Come on.”

            Ellen didn’t believe him, his smile or his words, but she took his hand and let him lead her ahead.  Whatever was there, and wherever they were, Isaac clearly didn’t trust her to keep calm or at least didn’t want to make her worry.  They were both in a desperate situation, she figured, so she would keep quiet and do her best to stand strong while she could.  He had enough to think about and didn’t need her to worry over, too.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            “So,” Ellen began, walking a short distance behind Isaac as he led her toward the oil field.  He moved purposefully and kept his gaze fixed ahead while she walked more slowly, searching her surroundings for any sign of life.  The area was desolate, and the oil refineries before them felt deeply oppressive.  “What is this Emotion place, anyway?”

            Isaac smirked back at her.  He had his hands buried into his jacket pockets and his head down against the wind.  “The Emotion is the heart of God,” he said, and it sounded almost like a joke, but Ellen didn’t know what part of it was supposed to be funny.  “More accurately, though, it’s our plant’s soul.”

            “Our planet’s soul?”

            “Yeah.  All things are composed of three forms: body, soul, and spirit.  Body is physical, spirit is the spark of life—energy—and the soul is what binds it together.”

            “Uh-huh.  If that’s true, then how did we get here?”

            Isaac shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not really sure.  Maybe that little girl did something?”

            “Abraham?”

            “Yeah.  Her.  Maybe she led us here.”

            Ellen pursed her lips and thought on it.  She remembered hearing Abraham voice just before she woke, remembered feeling her faint warmth as the world was going cold.  Just before waking up, Ellen felt a dark chill, colder than water, colder than winter.  Thinking back on it, she might have been dying.

            “Okay, then how do we get home?”

            “That, I don’t know.  For now, we should focus on getting everyone together. Your friend, the brunette, and her friend.  They’re both here.”

            Ellen knew immediately that the brunette meant Alex.  She didn’t know who Alex’s friend was.  Alex had so few friends, and she couldn’t imagine who would have followed them there except Carolyne, who hardly counted as a friend after what happened.  In fact, Ellen had her doubts if Carolyne was even human.

            “Hey, I have another question.  That sword thing Carolyne had, what was it?”

            “Carolyne?”

            “The girl who was there chasing Alex and me.  Did you see her?”

            “Her.”  Isaac nodded.  “Yeah, I saw her.  That sword was her Voice.  It’s like a—Well, it’s a physical representation of someone’s soul.  Or, a physical extension?  It allows your soul to act on the physical world.”

            “And Voices are weapons?”

            “Not necessarily.  They take many different shapes, though the few I’ve seen were weapons, which is odd.  My father always said that they took on the form most appropriate for the person.”

            Ellen could see that.  Carolyne, whatever she was, clearly wanted to kill.  Ellen looked at her hands.  “Why don’t I have a Voice?”

            “Not everyone has them.  Only people with strong enough souls can do it, can reach out and shape the world.  I don’t know what exactly determines it.  May just be random chance or luck.”  He looks at her and winks.  “Not that you aren’t special in your own way.”

            She smirked in return.  Isaac was sweet, if a bit corny, and he seemed to have his head on.  He didn’t know everything, but he at least had a direction, and that was more than Ellen did.  Just listening to him talk was a comfort.

            They fell quiet when they reached the oil refineries.  The air here smelled thick of smoke and machines and was at odds with the fresh scent of the prairie which was still stuck in her mind.  Even the warm, dusty scent of the desert which surrounded them was overpowered by this oily haze.  It suffocated Ellen and made her feel trapped.

            She remembered lying still with Abraham warm at her side while everything else became so cold.  It hurt to breathe, hurt to focus, hurt to be.  Everything was draining out of her with each pump of her heart, and she was willing it to stop pumping, but it wouldn’t listen.  Her fingers went numb, and her toes, and she fell unconscious.

            Ellen pushes the thoughts away and breathed through the smoke.  The refineries stopped the wind at least, and she took the chance to adjust her hair and pat the dust from her clothes.  She stared at Isaac’s back, and she laughed to herself.  “Hey, Isaac, I was wondering...”

            “Yeah?”

            She put on a smile.  “You single by any chance?”

            He came to a hard stop and scowled.  His fingers flexed and light collected in his palms, and it shined so brightly that she had to wince.  When she recovered the light had faded into two bladed rings, one in each hand.

            Ellen peeked around him and saw nothing.  She looked back at saw nothing.  They were surrounded by steel on all sides and, past that, sand.  “Something wrong?”

            Isaac moved carefully through the sand, surveying the area as he went.  “I feel something, someone.”  He glanced at her.  “Did you feel it?  Like we’re being watched.”

            “Um.”  Ellen looked around again.  She hadn’t felt anything at all other than playful.  The smog around her made it hard to keep her head clear of anything but darkness and industry, but Isaac’s turn put her on edge.  He had seemed so calm, so collected, but now he was on fire.  Something set him off and a part of her worried it was her.

            She looked at the blades in his hand, his Voices.  They were different from Carolyne’s but still deadly in their own right, she was sure.  Looking at them comforted Ellen, though.  He seemed more a protector than a hunter.  He stood before her with his back turned, watching the world for a threat.  Carolyne had pointed her Voice straight at her chest and meant to kill.

            Isaac stood still for a long while with Ellen at his eyes.  He waited, listening to something that Ellen couldn’t even hear.  His body was tense and his fingers bound tightly about the grips of his Voices.  Then, his eyes widened and he turned to move her aside as a large, armor clad figure appeared from the sky and landed in the area they previously occupied.  Dust kicked up around him and steel met steel.  The sound of it echoed around the rusted ruins of the oil barrens.

            The dust settled to reveal a tall, stout man clad in plate and carrying a sword with a blade nearly as tall as he was.  His blade was balanced between Isaac’s chakrams, which were pinched together.  Isaac had his feet planted, light swelling around him as he repelled the on-coming attack.

            Isaac shoved the man off with a grunt and watched him stumble back.  The man staggered flat-footedly, his plate cumbersome and dusty.  In the haze, Carolyne saw Ellen for a brief second, and then saw the hysteria that that had seized the tiny woman.  She saw Carolyne’s Voice shining in her mind.  Ellen retreated from the battle, screaming and sprinting away as fast as her legs would take her.  She could hear Isaac shouting after her but paid him no mind.

            “No, Ellen.  No!  We don’t know if he’s alone!  Come...”  His words died as she ducked under another attack and, as he righted himself, she was gone.

            Another attack came in, and Isaac rolled under it and into a metal stand of a refinery.  The man stalked forward, armor gleaming dully in the dim light.  Isaac hadn’t felt him until just before the initial attack.  If he had, then it never would have come to melee combat.  If he had, Ellen never would have been in danger.

            The man swung horizontally and cleaved the refinery’s leg into pieces.  Isaac ducked under and rounded around, moving under the refinery where the man was too big to follow.  He moved between rusted bars to the other side, and the man followed him slowly.

            A vertical swing left Isaac staggered and another broke his defense.  The next missed narrowly, and Isaac stumbled around in the sand to escape.  It was different from with Riis.  This man was bigger than Isaac and careful in how he fought.  He didn’t leave as many openings and didn’t waste energy.  Every move was precise, tight, and controlled.  To win, Isaac would have to be equally decisive.

            He pushed Ellen out of his mind and put distance between himself and his enemy.  The man clanked forward, panting in the desert heat.  The sand had him slowed and his armor left his movement limited.  Isaac wouldn’t be able to kill from a distance, but it at least gave him time to think.

            He waited and then moved in, ducking under another attack and kicked the man in the foot.  The man stumbled in the sand and gave Isaac the opportunity to catch him in the arm.  Isaac punched upward into the man’s bicep, planting the chakram blade between the plates.

            The man stumbled and fell forward into the sand.  His sword landed beside him and slid down the shallow incline in the fine sand.  Isaac planted his foot onto the man’s shoulder and pushed into the sand before looking up to find Ellen.  As he stepped away, he met an invisible wall.

            Isaac put his hands forward and was met by something solid though seemingly insubstantial.  The man laughed beneath him, pushing up to kneeling and greeting Isaac with a dusty smile.  “Looks like you aren’t going anywhere.”

            Isaac glared. Energy flowed into his Voices, which gleamed at his sides.  “What is this? What are you doing?”

            “Me?  Nothing.”  The man chuckled.  “That is the Iron Heart.”

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Ellen found refuge on a nearby refinery.  She climbed it without thinking and hid behind its large, rounded oil drum at the top.  Rust colored the steel around her, and each creak made her footsteps subtler.  It held her, but she didn’t trust it still.

            She came to a rest against a rusty guard rail and supported herself against it while gathering her breath.  Isaac was still back there, fighting, perhaps even dying, but she couldn’t bring herself to go back.  Even if she could, the battle would just get her killed as well.  Isaac was stronger than her and endowed with a Voice.  She would just get in the way.

            She peeked around the rounded form of the refinery and found Isaac standing in the sand over his enemy.  His hands were bloody, but she was sure it wasn’t his own blood.  The sight of it made her skin crawl.  She didn’t like the fury written in his features, and she disliked seeing his weapons stained red even more, but she was happy to see he was alive.

            “Thank God,” she said, and she settled with her back to the refinery and took another deep breath.  The air smelled of oil and smoke still and, now closer, it also smelled of rust and steel.

            “God had nothing to do with it,” someone said from the other side.  It was a woman, with a deep, solemn voice devoid of inflection.  Ellen went rigid and peeked around again, and she stood and sprinted the other way, back toward the stairs.  The woman was there waiting.

            She was tall, slender, and very composed.  Her skin was dark, as was her hair, and her eyes with a bright, empty blue.  They looked to Ellen like a clear blue sky, devoid of anything at all.  She wore a dark dress, widow’s rags her mother might call it, and her lips were twisted in a half-hearted smile that looked tired more than anything else.

            Ellen’s foot slipped, and she fell forward onto her knees.  She looked up to find the woman watching her and pushed herself to standing.  As she did, the woman looked away, turning her attention to the battle going on.  She muttered an absent, “Hello,” as she did.

            In the distance Ellen could hear the battle continuing.  She heard grunts and shouts but couldn’t make them out.  Isaac’s voice cut through it, strong and clear, and she liked to think he was winning.  The woman was watching still, wholly composed and without opinion.  Ellen watched her for a sign of danger.

            “Who are you,” Ellen said once she caught her breath.  She kept herself steady against the oil refinery’s central barrel.  Flakes of rust collapsed at her touch.

            “Deidra,” the woman said, and she glanced.  “Come over here and watch with me.”  The woman turned her attention back to the battle once more.

            Ellen swallowed and approached.  She could try to escape but figured the woman could catch her anyway.  As she rounded the refinery’s platform she saw Isaac and the man in the distance.  Their fight looked nothing like the movies.  Both were clumsy and their blows didn’t make the right sounds.  Both were breathing heavily, too.

            Isaac kept distance between, closing only to make quick strikes and retreat.  The man, meanwhile, was feral.  He was a storm of slashes and often missed.  Whenever his blade clipped the sand beneath them it was tossed into the air as he made another swipe.  It was almost like a dance if neither of them knew the proper movements.

            Deidra pointed.  Her fingers were longer and elegant and her nails unclipped.  “Do you know that boy?”

            “Yes, but not well.  We’ve only just met.”

            “Here in the Emotion?”

            Ellen nodded and approached slowly to stand beside Deidra.  “Yes.  Do you know who that is attacking him?”

            Deidra nodded, too.  Ellen stared at her now, saw how beautiful and tired she was.  Up close, she looked older than Ellen had initially figured her to be.

            “Can you stop him?”

            Deidra looked at her now with those blank eyes.  Her face moved, expressed anger, but her eyes didn’t commit.  They remained empty.  The woman shook her head and let her mouth tighten, and she looked away.  “You have no place in this world.”

            Silence settled, save for the wind and the groan of the steel and the battle in the distance.  Ellen picked at the rusty handrail and considered Deidra’s words, and she knew they were true.  Ellen had no Voice, she had no power, and she definitely didn’t understand what the Emotion was.  She was weak and frail, and after everything she had been through, the only thing she can do consistently is get people hurt.

            “Cornelius,” Deidra said, her voice carrying and bouncing between the platforms.  “Cease your assault. We’re leaving.”  Deidra gathered her dress, which was beautifully crafted but worn with age, and she turned.  Her movements were graceful and precise but seemed to tire her further.  She stopped on the ramp, her hand on the railing, and looked back at Ellen.  “You take care of Isaac, will you?”  Then, she turned and left.

            Ellen watched the man in armor—Cornelius, she figured—retreat from the battle.  Isaac was watching the man’s retreat, too.  At some point when Ellen wasn’t watching, Isaac had suffered a shallow cut across his cheek, and he was still breathing heavily.

            Both Deidra and Cornelius disappeared into the desert and once they were gone, Ellen found Isaac searching for her in the oil field.  They met with a hug, and he lifted her from the sand and spun her about before planting her back down.  “Ellen!”

            “I’m sorry I ran,” she said.  “I was scared and I...”  She touched his cheek; he winced.  “Are you okay?”

            “Fine,” he said, and he smiled like Deidra did.  He wore it better than her, but it still didn’t carry to his eyes.  “What about you?”

            “Fine.”

            He wiped away the blood from his cheek and looked out at the desert around them.  “Glad that’s over.  Who were they, though?”

            Ellen shrugged.

            “Well, whatever.”  He looked at the black, smoky clouds that pool about like water, and he frowned.  “Can’t feel a thing here.  We should leave before they come back, yeah?”

            Ellen nodded.  As they left, she glanced back at the oil platform where Deidra had watched from, at its rusty steel plating.  Isaac took her hand and led her back out into the blazing sun and off into the horizon.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            They walk in silence through the sand.  The wind picks up, tossing Ellen’s hair and leaving her squinting.  Like little shards of glass, the sand digs into her flesh, and she lifts her hands to cover her eyes.  Isaac does the same, and she struggles to follow his back in the sandstorm.

            Thoughts of Deidra return to her.  She seems somewhat familiar to Ellen, though the young woman was sure they had never met before.  She considered asking Isaac but decided against it.  He had a lot on his mind and seemed to blame himself for everything that happened.

            They move through the sandstorm, keeping as close as they can.  Isaac moves with greater purpose now, head down against the wind.  Unlike her, it doesn’t seem to hurt him, or if it does, he doesn’t let it show.  He is colder now, focused, having become a man on the mission.

            They keep walking until the wind dies down and crest a grassy hill, where they stop to catch their breath.  Ellen realized then that the desert heat had faded and, looking back, saw only an expanse of ripe, green hills stretching out behind and before her, dotted with little white ruins.  The sun had faded from the sky and now the moon watched them.

            Ellen caught Isaac looking back as well.  They made eye contact and held there, suspended in time.  She stood and dusted herself off best as she could, and she smiled.  He turned forward again and started down the hill, taking the first step.  After that, he didn’t look back again.

21: Volume One: EMOTION, Chapter Five: A Faerie Tale Finish

Chapter Five: A Faerie Tale Finish

 

            Alex woke in pain.  Her right arm burned, the raw, pink flesh exposed to the air around her.  Sand and dirt had gathered on the flesh, feeling gritty and hard against the ripe skin.  It hurt to move, to breath, and even thoughts were a struggle.  When she opened her eyes pain spread through her, and she curled up, letting it dance down her spine and spread into her limbs and digits.

            She swallowed and found her throat dry.  Her mouth tasted of metal, and she rolled something thick and wet across her tongue, forcing it with effort through her dry lips.  Blood trickled down her cheek and gathered with what was already crusted and dry beneath her head.

            Another swallow, and she forced herself over onto her front.  The world spun, and she fought a renewed wave of nausea.  The battle was short lived and ended in failure as she vomited, first into the dirt and then onto herself.  Slowly, she crawled through the fresh vomit to a nearby wall, where she managed to push herself up.

            The stones were cold against her skin and helped to ease the pain.  She lied back and opened her eyes again, holding them open against the dry, hot air.  The wall gave her a shadow to hide in.  Wherever she was, she was somewhere else entirely.  The air was dry still, but not so dry as it was before, and the colors different, more vibrant.  She couldn’t focus on it, though.  Everything blurred and blacked, and her last thought resting against that wall was of Shana, lost in the woods, looking for home.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            Samantha led Shana by the hand.  They walked beside the stream, following it deeper into the jungle.  The sun stayed high, blades of light forcing through the canopy and lighting the forest floor just enough to see by.  The air was moist and thick, and the deeper they went, the hotter it became.

            Shana was different now.  She could feel the life around her, breathing with her as the world did. It was an infinite ocean of lights.  It was and endless song, expertly sung.  More than all of that, it was everywhere, and she could see each of the individual lives separate of it.  She could find them in the haze.  She could find Alex.

            As they walked Samantha slowed.  She no longer needed to guide Shana, as Shana knew exactly where she was and where she was going.  This change brought a change in Samantha, too.  When Shana first heard her Voice and materialized in her hand Samantha was so proud she could hardly stop talking about it, but the longer they walked, the worse her mood became. She carried storm clouds with her wherever they went, and Shana could feel those, too.

            They came to rest beside the stream.  Samantha soaked her feet, and Shana joined her.  She nudged the other woman, staring at where her hair fell and exposed soft, ivory flesh.  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

            Samantha looked at her, allowed a brief smile, and then sighed heavily.  “Nothing.  Nothing at all is wrong.  If something were wrong, I would look sad, but I don’t.  I’m smiling, see?”

            “Maybe, but you weren’t smiling earlier.”

            “And I am now.”  Samantha kissed Shana on the nose.  “I don’t want to worry you, my love.”

            “Then tell me what’s wrong,” Shana said, and she leaned forward and caught Samantha in a kiss.  Their tongues met and, for a moment, the world stopped for them.  It always did when they kissed, and that is how Shana knew it was real.  They parted, and the stream burbled again.  Birds sang just for them, and Shana took Samantha’s hand and kissed her fingers, each of them, individually.  “Come on.  You’re already making me worry, so just tell me.”

            “Well,” Samantha chewed her cherry red lips, and Shana stared.  She wanted to kiss her again, but she saw the sadness in the other woman’s eyes and knew there would be time for that later.  “I am being spoiled, I suppose, but I am afraid, even jealous, of that woman, Alexandra.”

            Shana paused, lips on Samantha’s knuckles, and then burst into laughter.  “Why would you be jealous?  Do you think that—No, no, nothing like that.  Alex and I are friends.  That’s it.  I promise.”

            Samantha held her gaze, but she didn’t smile.  She didn’t say anything, she just stood and started walking, arms crossed and holding her hair to her body.  It accentuated her curves, and here or there glimpses of bare breasts showed.  Shana trailed after.

            “What did I do now?”

            “Nothing.”

            Shana caught Samantha and turned her, and she held her in place by the shoulders.  “Please.”

            Samantha shook her head and stood, staring firmly, silently, into Shana’s eyes.

            Shana did her best pout.  “Pretty please?”

            A few more seconds of silence, and then a sigh, and Samantha teased her hair.  Every movement showed another part of her, and she wore it all so bravely and so well.  Shana saw where the scars were formed on Samantha’s wrists.  “Fine,” she says, turning sideways and staring into the stream, where the water glistens in the sunlight.  “You’re just so happy when you think about her. Too happy.  It makes me worry that you love her more than me.  And I trust you when you say you don’t love her romantically, but the thought that you might love her at all is still hurtful.”

            Shana leaned in, hugged Samantha from the side.  She wanted to say something, the right thing, the thing that would comfort her, but she didn’t have the words for it.  Any assurance would be a lie, and Shana couldn’t bring herself to lie to Samantha.

            Samantha turned in Shana’s grasp and lifted her hands to cup Shana’s face, pale fingers on pink cheeks, and she pulled her forward until their noses touched.  They could taste each other’s breaths.  Samantha licked her cherry red lips.  “But that isn’t true, is it?  You love me above all else, don’t you?”

            Shana stared into Samantha’s eyes, got lost in them.  They were blue, but a darker shade of blue than Shana had ever seen, bluer than the ocean’s depths, and whenever the light caught them, they changed, like Shana was changing.  Alex was important, but the more Shana thought about it, the less she knew how important.  In that moment, at the very least, Samantha was the brightest star.

            “Right,” Samantha said, voice urgent and husky.

            “Right,” Shana said, and they kissed, and Alex faded a little more.  They part, and Shana smiled and laughed to herself for being so silly.  “Right, of course.  You’re the most important person in my life.”  Another kiss.  “I love you, Samantha.”

            Samantha smiled now, large, red, and silky, and Shana felt weak in her grasp.  Another kiss, this one deeper and longer, and Samantha followed it by kissing along Shana’s face, along her eyes, along her nose, along her chin.  She whispered to her, “And since you love me so much, you would never want to make me suffer.  You would never want me to be sad or angry or jealous, would you?”

            Shana nodded.

            “Then kill her.  Kill Alexandra for me.”

            Shana swallowed.  She could feel Samantha’s smile in the breath against her ear, just like she could feel the warmth of her own cheeks, the beat of her own heart, and the breaths of her own lungs.  They weren’t so much separate anymore as one single entity joined at the hands and, sometimes, at the lips.  That was why Shana’s first instinct was to agree, but her heart did not remain silent.  It spoke out, and she managed to twist out of Samantha’s grip, but the sight of her beautiful lover stilled her defiant heart.

            She stammered before speaking.  “No.  No, I couldn’t do that.  I—Why would you even ask me to do such a thing?”

            Samantha met her again, held her tight and kissed her one more time.  The world went dark, and only they existed in that moment, perfect and private.  Shana held Samantha now, held her small hands, her slender, pale fingers.  They parted, and Samantha looked now at the ground.  Shana traced one hand along Samantha’s palm before she felt the scar tissue on her wrists again.

            “You would rather see me sad, then?”

            “No.  No, of course not.  I just...I can’t kill, Alex.”

            “And why not?  Because you love her?”

            Shana breathed through her tears, tears that came to her in an instant.  She shook her head, and she held Samantha tighter.  “Of course I love her!”

            “But are you in love with her?”

            “No!”

            “And you are in love with me?”

            Another breath and this time hesitation.  Shana looked away, stared at the stream.  She needed to think, to focus, to escape Samantha’s hypnotic, ocean-deep eyes, but now she could smell the other woman, and the powerful, musky, feminine scent fogged her head further.  She couldn’t bring herself to speak, so she just held Samantha tight and hoped that was enough.

            “Shana.  Are you in love with me?”

            “Yes,” Shana whispered back, and she knocked the tears from her eyes as she blinked.

            Samantha took her chin and brought her back, and she stared into her eyes.  “But you will choose her over me?”

            “No.  Of course not.”  Shana groaned, and she fell into Samantha, sobbing into her shoulders.  She kept repeating it, “Of course not,” over and over.

            Samantha shushed her and soothed her.  She petted Shana’s hair gently until she eased the other woman’s tears, and then she kissed them away.  Smoothing away Shana’s long hair and exposing one ear, Samantha whispered to her, and she smiled.  “Then I will ask you only one more time.  Kill Alexandra.  Kill her and, once she is gone, we can finally have our happily ever after.”

 

: EMOTION :

 

            The vomit and blood had dried her shirt against her body, and it flaked off as she moved.  Her chin felt sticky while the rest of her was cold and sore, but it no longer hurt to breathe so much, and the pain in her arm and turned to numbness.  When she tried to stand her legs held her, and that was enough for her, so she braced against the wall and stumbled forward, in the direction she thought Shana might be.

            She was in a forest in the morning.  The air was warm because of the sunlight.  Smoky grey stones were scattered around her, and she moved tactically between them, not trusting her legs alone.  They were cold to the touch and, here or there, she felt runes etched into them but didn’t have enough interest to look.

            Her joints ached as she moved, and she wondered how long she had slept.  Shana was moving toward her, drawn by some magnetic force between them that Alex has always known was there but was never brave enough to admit.  Sometimes, she imagined they were bound together by an invisible string, red when she imagined it, knotted at birth.

            These thoughts made her smile and helped her move faster.  Sometimes, she moved so fast that she worried her feet wouldn’t keep up.  The ruins held her, though, until she could hold herself, and by that point she could breathe again without coughing.  By that point, she was strong enough to stop nursing her wounds, and that is when she started to run, because Shana was close, and she refused to arrive late.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            They met on a deserted highway at noon.  The sun was high and warm, a blazing golden eye glaring down at them with the fury of the gods.  Heat distorted the dark, cracked asphalt.  A street sign stood between them on the right, its face bleached off and steel creaking in the wind.  Alex shuffled forward on unsteady legs and came to a stop when she saw her.  Shana had been waiting for some time.

            It wasn’t how either had imagined.  Shana wasn’t alone.  She stood with a woman wrapped only in the dark curls of her own hair, and she looked different.  Alex couldn’t describe what it was exactly, but Shana shined like a star whenever Alex closed her eyes.  She shined brighter even than the sun above them.  She was stronger now, brilliant, and deep-down Alex could feel the change, too.

            Black clouds gathered in the distance and the air was hot and tense.  A breeze teased their hair and stirred dust devils across the shifting orange landscape.  It still hurt to breathe, but Alex was managing. She didn’t know how much time had passed since her fight with Goliath and was even less certain of when she had fought Carolyne before him.  This was the first moment of relief she had since, though.  In the back of her mind she waited for the shoe to drop.

            They made eye contact and smiled, but Shana’s smile was off.  She looked sad, even mournful.  The woman beside her smiled, too, but hers was more earnest.  She stepped in close to Shana and whispered into her ear.  “You know what you must do for me, my love.  So, do it.  Prove to me your undying devotion.”

            Shana’s lips quivered.  She wiped the tears from her eyes and traded a look between the two women, the two loves of her life.  Then, she held out her right hand, fingers parted and stretched.  The light around her distorted as her Voice appeared.  She caught it and pulled it in, gripping the haft with both hands and holding it to her chest, and she stared at Alex.  “I’m sorry.”

            “Sorry?  Shana, sorry for what?”

            Shana charged and leaped.  She brought her hammer up over head and then down on Alex, but the blow didn’t land.  Alex sidestepped and rolled to the side, coming to a stop on one knee a few feet away.  Already, she was winded.  The burning in her lungs was starting anew.  That was how the battle started.

            This was not the meeting Alex had imagined, nor was it the woman she knew.  There were no hugs, no God blesses, only violence and sorrow. Shana’s blow had shattered the pavement, the hammer’s head being denser than it looked.  Alex called Three Gods out of instinct before she spoke.

            “Shana, what are you doing?”

            The question was left unanswered.  Shana turned and brought the hammer with her.  Alex caught it across the blade and while the blow didn’t hurt, it was enough to knock her sideways.  Her legs were shaking again, especially as she tried to hold her ground against another blow.

            Another swing, and this time Alex was staggered back.  Another after that, but Alex was able to duck under and put distance between them.  Shana followed steadily, making each movement slow and deliberate.  She couldn’t hold back, not in front of Samantha, but she still didn’t want to hurt her best friend, let alone kill her.  In the back of her head she kept telling herself to stop, to tell Samantha off and take Alex home, but by that point her body was moving of its own accord.  It was all she could do to slow herself down.

            Alex lost her footing and fell to her knee.  She looked up to find Shana’s hammer head falling.  That was it, the killing blow.  It would leave Alex’s grey matter spread across the asphalt, and then she would be little more than a bloody memory that seeped into the cracks.  Alex lifted her bracer just in time to catch the blow and angled her blade in a way that sent the hammer sliding off in a shower of sparks.

            Shana screamed and spun around, bringing her hammer in low this time.  Alex caught it again, but the angle threw her.  She sailed backward and managed to slide to a stop on her feet.  She stabbed Three Gods into the earth to come to an gain her footing.  Shana followed with tears in her eyes.

            “Fight, damn it!  Fight me! Fight back!”  Shana bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and struggled to swallow her sobs.  She made another swing, which Alex managed to avoid.  The one after that made contact but not well.

            Alex felt something in Shana with each swing.  Despite her screams, despite the violence, Alex could feel in her something familiar.  Deep down, it was the woman she always knew, she just shined brighter than before.  This anger and hate wasn’t natural to her, though.  It was forced on her, and it was that foreign force that moved her.  Deep down, she didn’t want to fight any more than Alex did, she just couldn’t stop herself.  Luckily, Alex knew just how to save her.

            Another blow knocked her back, and then Alex came to a stop.  She lowered her arms and willed her Voice away, and she kneeled down in front of Shana, head forward, hair draped over her eyes.  She could hear Shana’s approach, feeling the light of her charging the air.  The hammer was overhead, shining just as bright as Shana, and then she screamed.

            “I’m sorry...”

            The asphalt beside Alex was fractured and the hammer lost inside of it.  Shana shook above her and began sobbing.  Then she fell forward, into Alex’s waiting arms, while her Voice dissolved into the air beside them.  Alex held her and hugged her, and she soothed her as she cried.

            “I’m sorry, Alex.  I’m so, so sorry.”

            The air, heavy as it was, began to settle.  Thunder growled in the distance as the storm stirred.  A cool wind was coming in, and Alex held Shana tighter and was held in return.  She rubbed her back and wiped away her tears, and she kept whispering to her that it was fine, that it was okay, and that she was alive.

            They stayed like this, together, and cried like children into each other’s shoulders.  Alex didn’t understand, and she didn’t need to.  She had done something important that day and actually succeeded in saving someone she loved, and that was enough. 

            Distracted as they were, neither of them were even aware of Samantha’s timely disappearance.

 

: EMOTION :

 

            When it became clear that the spell was broken Samantha ran. She ran and ran until her feet bled and her lungs ached, and then she kept running until the landscape shifted from one to another.  It should have been impossible to lose the battle that way.  She owned Shana’s heart.  At least, she should have owned it.

            She came to a stop and bent forward on her knees.  The highway was gone, left behind her somewhere else, in some other time, and she found herself on a rocky overhang that looked out on an empty lakebed.  Fog and clouds obscured the sunlight and cast rainbows across the valley.  The air was cold, wet, and reeked of death.

            Boots clicked on the stones behind her, and she turned to find a tall, dark-skinned man with high-cheeks and ivory hair.  He was well-built, muscular in the torso and broad around the shoulders, and he wore a twisted sneer.  It looked like a knife-wound across his face.

            Samantha backed away from him, to the very edge of the rocks.  “Crest.”

            “Samantha.”  His voice was rough and his eyes the color of amber.  He moved slowly toward her, his long hair fanning around him like a cape caught on the wind.

            She gave a smile.  “May I help you?”  Her voice was shaky and broken, but she hoped he didn’t notice.  Judging from the hunger in his eyes, however, he had.

            “Well, dear, I’ve come to take care of a loose end.  You see, we have no room for cowards in...”

            “You don’t understand!  I’m not strong enough to...”

            “...our ranks.  And it is my job to cut away those ends, because if they are left unattended to fester, well, they make us all weaker for it.”

            “...fight them off.  I have nothing outside of my Soul Kiss.”

            “You could have tried something.”

            “And what do you expect me to try?  Kiss them both?”

            His sneer twisted further, leaving his face a ridged with shadows and hardly human.  “I expect you to fight.”

            “Fight and die?”

            He paused as if in consideration, and then he nodded.  “Now you only have the one option, don’t you?”

            She looked back into the fog behind her and realized she couldn’t see the lakebed below, and she considered jumping.  Then she looked forward and ran toward Crest instead.  He grabbed her by the neck as she came close and pulled her toward him.  His hands were strong and his fingers long.  He had her off her feet with little more than a grunt and held her above him, staring into her eyes as he squeezed the life from her.

            “And do you know what that option is, Samantha?”

            She coughed and reached for his face, clutching him tight and pulling him closer.  Her limbs felt numb.  Her toes were cold.  She stared him in the eyes, his hateful, angry eyes that were amber iris around black holes.  He looked so empty, like death.  She turned her gaze on his knife-cut mouth.

            “Ah-uh,” he said and held her away again, still suspended in the air.  The shadows around him swelled to life, swallowing the sunlight that touched them.  Soon, they were eclipsed by those shadows, but by that point Samantha’s vision was blurred and fading.  She wasn’t dead yet, though.  He gave her just enough air to keep her alive, awake, even if the world was dancing.

            The shadows circled the area below her, long tendrils stretching up like giant, ancient teeth.  He held her a moment longer as they licked at her feet, leaving slender cuts in her pale flesh.  They felt cold against her flesh.

            He released her, and the shadows caught her in their gentle, frosty embrace.  They parted her skin and seeped inside, gathering around her and pulling her in.  She gasped for air and began to scream while he watched her, the shadows rolling along her flesh and swallowing her to the shoulders.  They weren’t so cold anymore, not while they burrowed into her bones.

            She coughed.  The rush of oxygen had made her momentarily high.  The world continued to sway.  She tried to scream again but couldn’t.  There was something in her throat, wriggling and writhing through her, rending flesh as it went.  Then it crawled out of her mouth, whittling down her teeth and pulling her apart.

            Crest watched until she was gone and flexed his hand after.  The shadows compressed around her, and she hardly made a sound.  Then, they receded, leaving a broken bag of meat and bone.  He smiled and turned, and he left her there in the daylight, his shadows trailing, always at his heels.

22: Volume Two: Murderer, Chapter Six: The Judge; Atlantis

Volume Two: Murderer

 

Penetrating, like a needle, like a knife, like a lover.

Deeper, like a murderer, like a maniac, like a man.

Burning, like fire, like ice, like touch.

Yes, love is a poison.

 

Chapter Six: The Judge; Atlantis

 

            Crest stood in the shadows and surveyed the long, winding stairs that led up.  A platform above obscured the light and hid him in shadows.  It was held aloft by a thick, black pole, polished to reflection and crisscrossed with small, silver veins.  Above, his master waited, ready to pass his judgement.

            A woman came, square-shouldered, with pale skin and dark hair.  She descended with a friendly smile that turned his stomach, and moved with an easy slouch.  Her name was Carla, and she the type who always seemed at ease.  By her nature she was kind and gentle, always open, always forgiving.  She was the best things that people had in them, and Crest hated her for it.

            When she saw him, her smile faded.  It always faded in his presence.  She met his eyes with sympathy, as if she could understand him and his suffering.  He only looked away.  She stopped beside him, her hand on the railing.  “The master is waiting for you.”

            He nodded and brushed past her without a word.

            The act of killing a comrade was strictly forbidden.  Those under Abel’s command were assembled to work toward one purpose.  They all swore fealty to him and so were protected by him until the completion of his goals.  Crest’s actions would be not be easily forgiven, no matter his reason.

            Yet, he felt no remorse.  He was not Carla, nor was he Abel, and these men and women were not his allies.  They were tools to be used and discarded.  Samantha had lost her edge and grown ineffective.  She was broken and so had to be disposed of.  That he would be put on trial for doing something so simple hadn’t crossed his mind.  It was logical, but Abel, Crest was sure, wouldn’t see the logic in it.

            Halfway up the stairs the red glow of the gemstone showed in the darkness, and as he went higher it grew more intense.  At the top he could see the gemstone shimmering, a dark shadow in its center.  The shadow was a child, her flesh pale as clouds and hair dark as the ocean depths.  He stopped beside the gemstone, between two of the four torches lit around it.

            Abel stood at the edge of the platform, looking out on the pews arranged on the first floor.  He had his back turned to Crest, his long, dark hair tied back out of his face, wearing a cloak that was white as snow.  The two looked just alike, save for their coloration.  Crest was a dark mirror of Abel, of his master, with the same big bodies, the same high cheeks, the same thin eyes, the same long hair.  The difference was that where Abel was heaven, Crest was hell.

            They stood in silence.  Even without looking, Abel filled the room, and staring at his back, Crest felt a longing.  The shadows were restless around him.  “You called for me,” Crest said.

            Abel turned, face empty, emotionless.  He moved slowly, as if in a dream, and he gave a slight nod.

            “I know why I’m here,” Crest said.  “I killed her.  That damned woman.  Samantha.”  His lips curled as he said her name.  “You must consider that an unforgivable sin, but I had my reasons.  And it had be done.  I assure you.”

            Abel didn’t speak.  He didn’t need to.  His empty yes said it all.  He saw through Crest, saw through his fear, saw through his lies, and he didn’t care.  Unless Crest would find something true, unless he could find something to hold onto, he would die next.

            “She tried to kill me,” Crest said quickly.  “To place my soul under her command.  It was self-defense. And she wouldn’t have stopped with me.  She would have done it to anyone of us if it suited her.  I’m sure.”

            Abel raised his hand, and Crest fell silent as he stepped forward, toward the gemstone, and stared into it.  The light touching Abel now, painted him red.  There was nothing to him to cast the light back, nothing that could reject it.  He was completely empty, completely open, clean and entirely pure.  He was something so perfect that Crest would never truly understand.

            Finally, Abel spoke, and when he did, it shook Crest to the core.  “Very well.  You are forgiven, but I will keep watch.”  He looked up and met Crest’s eyes.  The shadows scattered.  “I cannot have traitors among us, not at this crucial time.”  He nodded toward the stairs.  “Go.  And send Goliath up.”

            Crest swallowed.  “Yes,” he said, and he bowed before leaving.

 

: Murderer :

 

            The village is large and old and scattered among the hills.  Stones rose, moss-covered, from the earth, fractured walls half-crumbled, broken fountains long forgotten, stone-laid streets overgrown with weeds.  They passed through the empty streets, peeking in at dusty interiors, white stone bleached by the sun.

            Isaac led the way, keeping a few feet between them and ever alert.  He didn’t speak much since their arrival, and Ellen didn’t try too hard to pry him from his thoughts.  At the very least he seemed focus, and after their last encounter, Ellen figured it was safer to speak when spoken to for the time.  Still, she couldn’t suppress her awe for long.

            “Wow.”  She muttered the word as she stared, starry-eyed, into the ruins around her.  Isaac came to a stop in front of her, and she nearly ran into his back.  She stood beside him, goggling at the village around her.  She nudged him gently in the arm.  “Look at this, will you?  I’ve never seen anything like it.”

            Isaac grunted to start and then turned his eyes on their surroundings.  His expression softened.  “Yeah, you’re right.  It’s impressive alright.”  He started ahead again, and Ellen had to jog briefly to catch up.

            “I don’t understand, though.”  They crested another hill and stared ahead at the ruins before them.  It looked like the buildings were tightly clustered ahead, as if it were some form of town square.  “Every time the landscape changes we’re taken somewhere different.  The first place didn’t have any sort of man-made anything.  The next one was all polluted.  And this place is, well,” she turned back to stare at the entrance, where a broken sign stood.  “It looks like it used to be a city.”  She looked Isaac in the eyes.  “Where are we?”

            Isaac rubbed his chin and sighed.  He turned back and regarded the broken fountain thoughtfully.  “Perhaps,” his lips tightened, and he sighed again, “Maybe the Emotion is like the human soul?”  He looked at her now.  “It reflects the life of the planet, including the influences humanity has had on it?  So, all the good and the bad, everything we’ve done, everything its felt, reflected wherever we go?”

            Ellen looked out at the dilapidated buildings and crumbling pillars.  Impressive though they were, they were also very empty.  “You think,” she asked.

            “Well, when we meet people, when we love them, and when we hate them, if affects our soul.  It can leave us damaged or heal our wounds.  It’s all speculation, but I see no reason why the planet’s soul wouldn’t do the very same thing.”

            “Okay.”  Ellen nodded her head like she understood.  She thought she did, but also felt like there was something there that was so big that she could never really wrap head around it.  She looked at him.  “So, where to?”

            “We keep moving.”  He started down the hill.  “Your friend, Alex, is somewhere out there, and so is her friend.  We need to find them and get out.”

            Ellen nodded and followed him down into the city proper.  The town was better preserved here, but not by much.  Whole buildings stood, their foundations cracked but holding.  She peeked into open windows at sturdy tables, set for meals that would never be had.  To her, it looked like a city properly filled with ghosts.

            Ellen thought about her parents, at home, missing her.  She had never been close to them, but she was still shaped by them.  All of the good and bad that she was came from them, distilled through genes and behaviors, either known or taught, like Isaac said.  Every success and failure they had as parents showed in everything from the way she walked to the way she talked.  It made sense to her that the world, and its soul, would function the same way, and it made her think of herself as a tiny little world all her own.

            The thought left her both proud and humbled.  Like she was small but still so significant.

            Isaac walked a short distance ahead of her, and she sped up to match his pace.  “Hey, Isaac?  What you said got me thinking, about all the people in my life, and about, well, a lot of stuff.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Mmhmm.”  She smiled.  “You know a lot of stuff, a lot about this stuff, but I realized that I don’t really know much about YOU.  For instance, what’s your family like?”

            He went quiet.  They stopped at the center of the square.  Another fountain was here, larger and more enduring than the one before it.  The area was a wide circle, stone-laid all around.  Some of the buildings here were two stories tall, though most of those had collapsed inward already, beaten by their own gravity.

            Ellen watched him.  The woman from the desert came to mind, and the man they fought in the sand.  She had watched Isaac, watched him fight, spoke to Ellen about him.  She knew him, and Ellen felt she knew how, but she didn’t want to jump to conclusions.  So, she said, “Hey, did you hear me?”

            He glanced toward her, his expression hardened, and that was answer enough.  She looked away and let him move forward.  He came to a stop by the fountain and was there a short while before she joined him.  She stopped beside him, head down, staring into the dusty bowl in front of them.  Anything of value was taken long ago.

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

            “It’s fine.”  They looked toward each other and shared a smile.  “Just not much to say.  Anyway, you feeling okay?”

            “What?”

            “I was thinking we could take a rest while we have the time.”

            “Well, my feet are a bit sore.”  She took a few steps forward him, looked him right in the smile.  “I guess we could rest.  Maybe you could rub them for me.”  She laughed.

            “Only if you rub mine, first.”

            “Ew.  No.”

            “Come on, let’s make camp here.”  He settled on the fountain, testing it before settling his full weight.  “We’ll catch our breath and head out.”

            “Will Alex and Shana be okay?”

            “They should be fine.  They’re strong, and from how things feel now, it seems like they’ve got each other.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex held Shana and listened to her cry and mutter apologizes for hours.  In return, she rubbed her back and whispered back her own hushed understandings and adorations.  She harbored no ill-will toward Shana and never would.  In fact, if it weren’t for Shana, Alex probably wouldn’t be alive there that day.  In Alex’s eyes, Shana is the best part of her.

            Time passed, and Shana quieted.  Soon, the two of them fell asleep together, waking some time later in a grassy meadow with a pond nearby.  Alex was alone, lying on her back with a halo of grass flattened around her.  She rose and found Shana sitting by the water, one foot dunked and soaking inside, the other leg clutched tight to her breast as she stared down at her own reflection.  It was the most tired Alex had ever seen her.

            The rest had done Alex some good.  She still felt weak, especially after that battle, but it wasn’t the same struggle to sit up.  She managed to stand and felt the world shift beneath her, but only for the moment.  Deep breathes eased the vertigo and allowed her to move forward.

            When Shana saw her, she jumped up and rushed to her side, catching her just before her legs gave out.  “Alex!  You’re still hurt.  Don’ be an idiot.  Lie back down.”  Like a mother, she guided Alex gently back into the grass.

            This time, Shana held Alex, resting her head on her folded legs and combing her hair with her fingers.  The fatigued lingered, mixing with love, giving Shana an air of affectionate exhaustion.  “I can’t believe you,” she said, and Alex was grateful for it.  Each censure was a sign of continued love and lingering concern, gifts Alex felt unworthy to receive.

            “I was worried about you,” Alex said, and Shana rolled her eyes.

            “I’m fine, you big goof.  Now, go to sleep.  You’re hurt, and you need your rest.”

            “I can’t.”  Alex tried to push herself back up but was held firmly in place.

            “You can and will.”

            “I need to find Ellen, and Abraham.”  Alex didn’t say it, but she wanted to find Carolyne, too.  She just couldn’t vocalize it, because she didn’t know what would happen when they found each other, and she couldn’t face the worst of it yet, so she set it aside for another time.

            “No, you need to sleep.”

            “They need me.”

            “They don’t need someone who can barely stand.”  She combed Alex’s hair again, her fingers dragging gently across her scalp, soothing her.  Slowly, the tension left Alex’s body.  Her breathing eased, and she settled as the worry and anxiety slowly left her.  Ellen drifted away, and so did Abraham, and Carolyne, too, and Alex was left alone with Shana, the one person she had managed to save, the one person who always managed to save her.

            Shana began to hum and then sing.  “Lullaby and good night, with roses bedight, with lilies...”

            Alex groaned.  “Please, don’t sing.”  Shana slapped her arm lightly.

            “Hush, you, it’ll help you sleep.”  She acted hurt, but she was smiling, and she held Alex’s head again and hummed to her the song, without words, but Alex knew them and sang them in her head.

 

Lullaby and good night, with roses bedight

With lilies o’er spread is baby’s wee bed

Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed

Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed

 

Lullaby and good night, thy mother’s delight

Bright angels beside my darling abide

They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my breast

They will guard thee at rest, though shalt wake on my breast

 

: Murderer :

 

            Ellen and Isaac made camp a short distance from the fountain, inside of the hollowed-out shell of a collapsed building.  Isaac went about gathering kindling to start a small fire at Ellen’s insistence.  He made a point to explain that it wasn’t cold, and she made a point to explain that it isn’t proper camping unless you have a fire.  In the end it was good for them, as it gave them a distraction while they nursed it slowly to life.

            Isaac kept watch, even as they rest.  He paced a tight circle around the light and stared out into the empty village around them.  Ellen didn’t want to look.  After the initial awe faded, she came to realize that this truly was a ghost town.  Tables set, frames on walls with the painting or pictures torn away, and all the dust.  People had lived her, or so Ellen thought, and now they were gone.  She was sitting amongst their graves.

            After a few minutes, she made Isaac rest.  He was reluctant but, once made to sit, he fell asleep immediately.  It was strange.  Ellen hadn’t felt tired since she arrived, but Isaac was out like he hadn’t slept in weeks.  She passed the time watching him or watching the fire.  Sometimes she stared up at the sky and spotted a few stars here or there, even in the light.  She did everything she could to keep from looking into the buildings around her.

            She wondered if Carolyne was dead, and then she wondered if Carolyne had followed them there.  Neither one made her feel better, and she decided that it was better not knowing either way.  What mattered most was that Ellen would not have to see her again.  What mattered most was that Ellen was safe with Isaac.

            Something moved in a building nearby and stirred her.  She didn’t mean to look but did anyway.  Through one of the open windows she saw something, someone, watching them.  It was small and hidden in the shadows, but she could see the form of it, and when it saw her, it stood and moved.  Ellen spied the color of a raven’s feathers in its hair and followed without thinking.

            It went down a long alley, taking turns quickly and then seeming to disappear altogether.  Ellen followed it deeper, where the buildings were larger and the streets narrower.  The skyline faded gently into a bruised purple and the moon appeared, a crescent winking down at her from the night sky.  Her footsteps echoed down the empty streets.

            She was just about to turn around and work her way back when it appeared again.  A flash of dark hair rounding the corner, and Ellen thought she heard a voice.  She followed again, around the corner, and found no one waiting for her on the other side.  There was just a vast, empty field of white flowers.  A lone house stood in the center, part of the wall crumbled away, and Ellen was drawn to it.

            The floorboards groaned under her weight.  She walked the length of the room, tracing her finger along the wall as she paced.  There was a lone bed and a vanity against the wall.  The bed was made up and old, the wood molded, the blankets dusty.  A teddy bear sat, tucked in one corner, the stuffing coming out of the seams.  She thought it might frighten her, but she was wrong, because she knew it.

            She had a vanity like the one against the wall.  It had lasted her from childhood through high school until one drawer finally gave out.  Her father had promised to fix it but never had.  When she went home, she still combed her hair in front of it before bed.  It was a thing of comfort to her, even now, covered in dust.

            Old as it was, this was her room, the little place she would go when the world was too much, when her family was too much.  She sat on the bed and smiled until a shadow fell over her.  “Well, don’t you seem nostalgic?”  Ellen froze. The voice gave it away.

            She looked up at the doorway and felt the blood drain from her.  She was there, waiting, lurking, preying on her at her more intimate moments, and she finally found Ellen, all alone, without Isaac or Alex there to protected her.  All by herself.  Ellen knew she wouldn’t be enough to save herself.

            Carolyne smiled.  “Come now, Ellen, invite me in.  It’s rude to keep a friend waiting.”  Carolyne clicked her tongue and passed the threshold.  “Then again, I guess you did give me a standing invitation, huh?  ‘You’re always welcome,’ wasn’t it?  How juvenile.”

            Ellen wanted to move but couldn’t bring herself to.  It felt to her like she was weighed down with cinder blocks.  Carolyne moved freely, though, pacing the room, gathering dust on her fingers and rubbing it between them.  She stopped before the vanity and looked at Ellen.

            “Looks like the old girl has seen better days.”

            She looked much the same, showing no wear on her tiny frame.  Her smile was vicious, and though she had no weapon in her hand, Ellen could remember her blade vividly.  The world seemed to warp around Carolyne when she held that sword, her Voice, Ellen was sure.

            “What’s wrong with you?  You’ve gone all white.  What, aren’t you happy to see me?”

            Ellen stammered and ran as hard as she could.  Her legs still felt heavy, but she refused to stay and die like that.  She couldn’t do much, but she could at least try to make it back before Carolyne gutted her.

            The streets were a blur, just one long, narrow path even with the turns taken.  She remembered the pain in her leg, the glint in Carolyne’s eye.  Her previous flight fueled her current one and carried her father and faster than she had gone before, but whenever she looked back she found Carolyne there, following leisurely and smiling.

            She rounded one corner and fell into the wall nearby.  As she stood, she checked the way behind her and saw nothing.  The way before her was equally clear.  She gasped for breath and balanced against the wall, and she decided she was wrong.  It was worse not to know where Carolyne was.

            She started moving again and, after another turn, saw the fountain ahead.  On approach she came to a stop, bending forward and holding against it and only realizing then that it wasn’t the right fountain.  Somehow, she had bypassed the camp and ended up farther back.  The night had followed her here and, staring into the starry eyes watching her, Ellen wondered if she had left Isaac back in the daytime.

            Carolyne was still missing, but Ellen felt anything but safe.  She checked every alleyway around her and saw nothing, and she wanted to cry.  She wanted to scream, for Isaac, for Alex, for her parents.  More than anything, she just wanted this strange nightmare to end and wake up in her bed, the bed she knew, and to comb her hair in front of her vanity like a normal girl.

            ...cut this string of fate!

            A flash of light and the fountain dissolved into dust.  A thousand tiny stones rained down on her and smoke swelled and filled the area.  Carolyne appeared from the rubble, her Voice in hand, still smiling.

            Ellen ran again, reaching the edge a hill and tumbling down.  She rolled to a stop and crawled forward on her hands and knees, Carolyne behind her, hopping down lithely in her wake.  She had one hand in her pocket still as she alighted and swung her blade like a child might.  For her, this was a game, cat and mouse, only far more deadly.

            Ellen forced herself to standing and stumbled.  She fell forward, into the dirt, and started crying again.  Her legs wouldn’t work, no matter how she willed them.  She was just too tired, and she didn’t have the strength needed to survive this.  She curled on the ground and sobbed, and she knew she was dead.

            “Finally, you stop.”  Carolyne paced a circle around her.  Her smile swelled and consumed half of her face.  She kicked Ellen, not hard, but just enough to roll her onto her back.  “What’s the phrase?  The road to hell is paved with good intentions?”

            Ellen choked and rolled away, scrambling toward a nearby wall fragment.  She was nearly there, her hand on it, when Carolyne’s blade imbedded itself in the stone between her fingers.  Ellen froze in place and let Carolyne kick her into the dirt.  Then, the other woman withdrew her Voice with a slow scratch.

            “I’ve wanted to do this for a while, you know?”  Ellen could feel Carolyne’s Voice just behind her head, the sharpened tip hovering inches away, ready for the kill.  “Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted to cut your fucking throat out.  People like you give humanity a bad name.  Useless, weak, stupid fools like you.”

            She rolled Ellen over and made her stare down the length of her blade.  In that moment, Ellen felt foolish and weak.  In that moment, she looked back at her entire life and felt like the biggest fool in the world.  Her parents had made it clear that they wouldn’t pay for her college.  They said she wasn’t smart enough, but that she was pretty, and that she should marry into a nice family with good income.  They said she should focus on being a homemaker.  At the time it had hurt so much, but looking back, she was sure it wouldn’t hurt as much as death.

            “Know what pisses me off the most, though?  The fact that you think you’re better than me.  So sweet, so kind, so pretty, always trying to do the right fucking thing.  Well, it’s just like they say.  The road to hell, Ellen, the road to fucking hell!”

            Ellen could see it inside of Carolyne.  The want.  The hunger.  Her desire to kill.  She wanted to take Ellen’s life, but there was something holding her back.  Her blade was poised, ready, capable, but she wavered.  She had both hands on it, and all it would take is a single thrust, and still she hadn’t done it.

            “You wanted to help that poor little girl, but all you did was get her captured.  You ruined her life, just like you ruined Alex’s, just like you ruined everything!  If it weren’t for you then none of us would be here.  And then I wouldn’t have to kill you, or Alex, or the girl.  It’s all because of you!”

            Ellen sobbed harder.  “I’m sorry, please.  I’m sorry!”

            Her words set Carolyne on edge.  Each tear seemed to make the hunger grow, like she was begging for an end.  And maybe Ellen was.  Looking back, she could see the truth in Carolyne’s words.  It hurt to admit it, but she truly did drag them in, even if she hadn’t meant to.

            “It’s all your fault,” Carolyne said.  Her hands were shaking.  “You’ve taken so many lives.  Now, I’ll take yours.”

            Ellen closed her eyes tight.  Even if it were true, she still didn’t want to die.  If she died, she couldn’t fix any of it.  If she died, she couldn’t make anything right, and as she closed her eyes, she saw the little girl with dark hair and pale skin, socks on her hands, sleeping beside her.  She saw her parents, standing over her, judging her, but she remembered how Abraham smiled, and she knew that, good or bad, she did right.

            It was too late, though.  So, Ellen braced against the wall, and she waited, for something, for the blade to pierce her skull or for a miracle to stop it.  Nothing came.  Tears streaked down her face, mucus and saliva alongside them.  She was too afraid to move, to wipe it all way, but she felt nothing.

            She waited and waited and nothing came, and when she opened her eyes she found Carolyne standing there, a smile painted, plastic, on her face.  Her hands were steady as stone.  The tip of her Voice was a hair’s width away and no closer.  She didn’t move, seemingly couldn’t, not until she staggered away.

            Isaac appeared then, his Voices in hand.  “What the hell is—Ellen!”

            Carolyne paced and stomped petulant child.  “She was going to die!  I was going to kill her!”  She swung her blade at caught a nearby wall, collapsing it with a clean slice through the center.

            When she moved, Isaac stepped forward and tossed his blue chakram toward her.  Carolyne ducked under it, backpedaling as she went.  He closed in and swung at her with the other chakram as soon as she steadied, but she once again twisted out of reach, striking back at from behind her back as she twirled and having the blow deflected.

            They fell into a dance, or so it looked from Ellen’s view.  The blonde watched blank-faced as they darted about, spiraling and swaying, their Voices clashing for dominance.  It was a sudden change and one she hadn’t quite come to terms with.  One moment she was going to die.  The next she was safely out of harm’s reach, watching the danger from afar.

            Carolyne screamed as she stumbled back into a wall.  It collapsed under her weight and left her to tumble to a halt inside of the building.  Her Voice left her hands and rested on the ground between her and Isaac.  Both were still, him with his weapons ready, her watching him for movement.  A lull and then she lunged for her rapier and managed to grab it and meet Isaac’s overhead strike.

            A shadow swallowed her just as their Voices were to clash again and left Isaac to stab the flooring.  The wood gave under him, splintering on contact, and he had to work the blade out before he could stand.  After a quick glance around, he returned to Ellen’s side and stood over her, still at the ready.

            The shadows swirled and gathered a short distance away, rolling back like the tide and revealing Carolyne underneath, blade at the ready, eying them.  A man stood beside her, tall and bronze-skinned, his hair a pale grey, his eyes thin and red.  He smiled at Isaac and touched Carolyne on the shoulder before the shadows returned, and they disappeared, leaving only inky darkness in their wake.

            “Damn it!”  Isaac kicked in the nearby wall, and Ellen flinched away.  He breathed through his anger before kneeling beside her, and she stared at his Voice until he recalled it.  Then, he was allowed to touch her, and he took her by the shoulders.  “You okay?”

            “I-I’m fine.  I just...”  She wiped her nose and her eyes, and she looked away.  It was supposed to feel better to have survived, or so she thought.  All she felt was empty.

            “Were you injured?”

            “I’m fine,” she said again, and she still couldn’t look him in the eye.

            Isaac stayed there for a moment, kneeling before her.  Then he stood and offered her a hand.  “Okay.  Good.”  She took his hand, and he pulled her to standing.  He gave her his jacket, and though it made her feel a bit like a small child to have him comforting her in this way, she still pulled it tight around her shoulders.

            He touched her shoulder again.  “We should go.  They might come back soon.”

            Ellen nodded and followed him back toward their encampment.  He walked more slowly now and stayed beside her and always within reach.  Eventually, she was walking close beside him, to where their arms were touching, because she just wanted to know he was there.  She stared at the ground as they walked and trusted him to guide her safely forward, and he did.

            He led her back through the city and beyond.  The night faded, and the city shifted again into another landscape, but Ellen hardly took notice.  Her mind was occupied with other things, foremost of which was why she was allowed to live.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Goliath found Abel by the gemstone, staring quietly into its red glow, and he stood quietly to the side, hands folded in front of him.  Abel was quiet and motionless.  He didn’t speak, he didn’t ask questions, he didn’t even need to look him in the eye.  His presence was enough, as were the memories.  The only scar Goliath remembered getting belonged to Abel’s lance.  It was a comfort to him, really, because he knew if Abel truly wanted him dead, then he wouldn’t have time to worry about it.

            Finally, after a long silence, Abel’s deep voice filled the empty cathedral.  “Kill her and the one she travels with.  No more mercy, no more mistakes.”

            Goliath nodded and left.  He didn’t like it, but he knew it didn’t matter.  This time, he would follow through.  Abel didn’t give second chances lightly, and someday soon, he wouldn’t give them at all.  So, he took the words to heart, memorizing them and repeating them to himself: no more mercy, no more mistakes.

23: Volume Two: Murderers, Chapter Seven: Murderers (SecondThoughts)

Chapter Seven: Murderers (SecondThoughts)

 

            The sky was the color of aged steel and cast everything under it in a harsh, dull light. It paled the dirty spires of the cathedral below, as well as the broken archways.  It made the gargoyles that lined the entryway seem alive, their fractured bodies seeming to be mended by the light, their dark eyes made into sunken holes.  The canyon around the cathedral was foggy and empty.  The air was wet.

            Crest stood on the bridge, staring first at the cathedral and then down into the foggy canyon abyss.  He stood still with Carolyne slumbering soundly on the bridge beside him, and he sneered.  With a single movement he could kill her, toss her over the edge and forget her, but that was no way to treat a toy when it could still be played with.

            So, he stood and waited, and when she finally woke it was in a fiery rage.  She leapt up, Voice forming in her hand, and nearly jammed the razor tip of the rapier through his throat.  Her eyes were untamed fire, but her heart wasn’t.  No matter how hard she tried, she just wasn’t a killer.

            He regarded her calmly, even with the tip of her blade pricking his throat. He just stared at her, into her, and stayed that way until she relented.  Her Voice faded in a flash the steely light and she stepped away, placing a hand on the bridge’s guard rail before she stared out into the canyon below.

            “What the hell happened there?”

            Crest turned, too, and stared into the canyon alongside her.  “You went to kill the blonde, and you failed.”  He looked back at her, now wearing a wry grin.  “You had the perfect chance, but you choked.  No backbone.  None at all.”

            She frowned and she scoffed, and she didn’t say anything at all.  She just gripped the guard rail so hard it hurt.

            “What were you even doing there, little girl?”

            She glared at him, and he kept her gaze.  His calm only made her angrier, but she didn’t have a response.  She didn’t have the power she wanted, and she certainly couldn’t take her first kill from him.  Not without dying in the act, at least.  “I was taking the initiative.  Those two are nothing but trouble, and we just let them roam around, doing as they like...”

            “But those were not your orders.”  Crest turned and nodded toward the Cathedral.  “You were supposed to be guarding the Covenant.  That is your only task.”

            “The best way to guard something is to remove the threat to it entirely.  I was being proactive.”

            He grinned.  In ways, she reminded him of himself, the way she lied to herself, hid her own motivations to keep herself sane, or at least an approximation of.  She was angry, and that made her violent, and she couldn’t accept it.  Abel wouldn’t care either way, though.  Crest, however, could use her.

            “Perhaps, but those were not your orders.”  He kept his tone measured.  She could be a murderer, but she would have to pushed there slowly.  “The master doesn’t want to kill anyone he doesn’t have to.  It is simple as that.”

            “Then he is wrong,” Carolyne said, and she went quiet after.  Crest gave her a look of precise surprise and suspicion.

            “Would you care to elaborate?”

            Carolyne hesitated, and she felt at the guard rail, picking away imaginary paint chips.  Her skin had paled a bit, and she certainly looked to him like she was anxious, the way her eyes darted, the way her weight shifted.  When she spoke, she made an honest effort to hide her fear.  “He’s too soft, too weak to kill.  Or, his resolve is.”

            Crest smiled.  She truly was ignorant, but that would make her even more useful to him.  “Carolyne,” he said, turning toward the canyon and staring into the empty horizon, “I assure you, the only thing greater than our master’s strength is his resolve.  That he sees no reason to spill blood unless it will help us toward our goal is proof not of weakness, but of absolute power.  Now, don’t misunderstand, he doesn’t care about those two fools, nor would he be hurt to see them go.  The problem isn’t that you attacked them, but that you left your post to do so.”  He looked at her again and found her gaze fixed firmly on the fog.  She couldn’t even bring herself to meet his eyes.  Shame.  It was exactly what he wanted.  “You cannot be so reckless,” he said, “especially if you cannot commit yourself to your own recklessness.”

            He paused to hear her response, and when she had none, turned away.  The shadows around him coalesced, pooling around his feet.  “Perhaps, you should worry more about your own resolve rather than the master’s.”  He said it quickly and dropped into the shadows, disappearing from view.  Soon, the shadows were gone, too.

            Carolyne remained, alone on the bridge, hands tight on the guard rail, glowering at the landscape below.  She felt angry, angry with him, angry with Abel, and with Alex, and with Ellen, and with herself.  She was a murderer, she just had to prove it.

            She turned sharply and stuffed her hands into her pockets, and she stomped away, shoulders slouched, back toward the cathedral.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Deidra waited inside of the cathedral, at the top of the stairs.  She stood alone on the platform, near the edge, looking out at the pews and the stained glass above.  Four torches burned around the gemstone in the center, the Covenant, where the girl slept. 

            She turned to the Covenant and stared inside.  The girl was small, so much smaller than she had thought.  Her raven hair was fanned out around her body.  She was curled up, fetal, hugging her knees to her chest.  It was hard for Deidra to understand, but this little girl alone held the fate of the world inside of her, or at least according to Abel she did.

            Footsteps echoed, leading the way up the stairs.  Abel entered, taller than she remembered.  He regarded her impassively and from the look in his eyes, she could tell he was close.  He was almost empty, but the sight of her aroused something.  It was brief, just the merest flicker, but it showed that more time would be needed.  His voice shook her as he spoke.  “Deidra,” he said, stopping beside the Covenant and staring into its core.  Another emotion, hunger or greed, in his eyes, another thing to be purged.  “She is beautiful, isn’t she?  And almost human, to the untrained eye.”

            Deidra crossed her arms and stepped back, leaning into the guard rail.  She watched him watch the Covenant, and she betrayed nothing.  They fell into a lengthy silence, just staring, and finally she spoke.  “Why did you summon me, Abel?”

            “You know why.”  He didn’t look up, didn’t even accuse her.  He didn’t have to.

            She shrugged and stared.  He met her gaze with blank eyes, and she met him with equal apathy.  “Pretend I don’t.”

            He held her gaze, his expression colder than the harshest winter.  It was too much, even for her, but she managed to stay through to the end.  When he looked away, she felt a great relief.  Sometimes, when speaking to him, it was difficult to remember that there was ever anything human inside of him.

            “You went to see him.”

            “I did.”

            “You let them escape.”

            “It was a mistake, and I won’t let it happen again.  So, if that is all.”  She lifted her dress to just above her ankles and moved briskly past him.  He caught her by the arm in a grip tight enough to cause her pain and held her there.

            “Deidra, I need you to be honest.  Are you having second thoughts? I have to know.”  He tone was even, clinical.  His eyes lingered on hers for a moment too long.  She remembered when they were younger, in the rain, how much passion he had, how much vigor, and she wondered how much of that was smoked out of him by the flames.  “I must be sure where your loyalties lie,” he said.  “You know my plan well, better than any of them, so I just need to know that I can trust you.”

            She swallowed the lump in her throat and pulled her arm free from his grasp.  “Whether I am having second thoughts or not is none of your business, nor does it matter.  Fate will take whatever path it wills.”  Her arm still ached where he held her.  She can feel the flesh swelling under her sleeve.  “Whatever will be will be, Abel, whether I do or don’t.  But still, it was a mistake.  That much I can admit to you.”

            He remained quiet and still, so much so that she thought he may not of heard her.  After a few seconds she just left, going toward the stairs, her boots clicking against stone platform.  She found Cornelius waiting at the base of the stairs, his armor still dirty from their time in the desert, his sword resting, blade down, in front of him.  He hefted it up when she approached and bowed his head low.

            They went together toward the door and met Carla on the way.  She was seated in one of the pews but rose at their approach and smiled as they passed.  Carla held the handrail and took the stairs up, and she joined Abel on the platform, watching Deidra and Cornelius’ exit.

            “Master.”

            “I apologize,” he said, turning to her.  “I know you have much work to do, but I wanted to speak with them privately.”

            “It’s fine.”  She gave him a smile.  He gave her nothing in return.

            “Continue the incubation,” he said, and he glanced toward the doors, spying Deidra’s back just before they closed.  “I must go to purify myself.”

            He left her there, alone with the Covenant.  She watched him disappear down the stairs and then went to the center of the platform.  Sitting between two torches, she folded her legs and put her hands together, linking her fingers and feeling the energy inside of her.  A quick breath, and then she reached forward, placing her hand flat against the Covenant and feeling the energies inside of it.

            Slowly, quietly, she began to whisper.

 

: Murderer :

 

            While Deidra and Abel were inside speaking, Carla was outside on the bridge.  She sat to one side of the bridge, braced against the guard rail and staring up at the sky.  Once, she remembered, the area had been cast in golden light, but that was long ago, before Deidra, before Abel.

            Carolyne approached her, slouched and shuffling, and Carla stood to meet her.  They didn’t know each other well, but Carla knew just the way to change that.  She met her with an open smile and an open hand.  She was someone who carried herself with an openness and warmth that few people had and many would envy.  “Hi, there.  You’re new, right?  I’m Carla.”

            Carolyne stopped and regarded her quietly.  She nodded toward her but didn’t take her hand.  “Carolyne,” she said.

            Carla withdrew her hand and rubbed the back of her head.  They stood together, in the shadow the cathedral cast.  “You’re here protecting the cathedral, right?  Protecting me?”

            “Sure.”

            Carla smiled.  “Thank you for that.”  Carolyne shrugged.  “Carolyne, is something wrong?”

            Carolyne paused, frowned.  “No.”

            “Clearly, something is.”  Carla looked her in the eyes, touched her shoulder lightly.  “Come on, you can talk to me.  You can tell me anything.  I promise.  Trust me.”

            For a moment Carla thought it had failed, that the words had no power over the other woman, but Carolyne’s expression softened, and though she pulled herself from Carla’s touch, she stayed closeby, leaning against the guard rail and staring up at the sky.  After a long breath, she finally said, “I’m afraid to kill.”

            Carla leaned into the bridge beside her.  She crossed her thick arms over her chest and nodded thoughtfully.  “Well, of course you are.  Anyone who isn’t afraid to take a life isn’t alive themselves.  What you’re feeling is perfectly natural.”

            “But I want it.  I want to kill.”  Carolyne sagged.  She fiddled with her hands, keeping her fingers busy.  “I am better than this, you know.  I don’t have time to worry about their lives, and they’re not worth it.”

            Carla leaned back and stared up at the sky.  She wondered if it had really ever been that golden color she remembered or if that was all a dream.  It was difficult to tell dreams from reality there in the Emotion, and for someone like her, who had been there so long, it was nearly impossible.

            “Murder isn’t so simple.  It isn’t about who is better or worse, or even about who deserves to live or die.  It’s about dreams and time.  To take a life is to take another person’s future away from them, all of their dreams, all of their time.  That’s why it is a sin, and the very act of it, even in self-defense, will leave you scarred forever in your soul.”

            Carolyne frowned again, this time more deeply than before.  Her hands found their ways to her pockets, and she looked at Carla.  Carla met her gaze.  “If you believe that, then why are you helping him, when you know he will kill and has killed before?”

            Carla smiled, the same open, warm smile.  “Because Abel is planning to fix a world that has long been broken.  Once he is pure, and he ascends, he will pull us all up with him.  And it will hurt some.  It may even kill them.  But in the end, we’ll all be better for it.  Does that make sense to you?”

            “Not really, but...”  Carolyne held out her hand and let Carla shake it.  “Thanks.  And it’s nice to meet you.”

            “Likewise.”  Carla stood from the guard rail and went to the door.  She pushed the doors open and stood in the threshold, stopping long enough to look Carolyne in the eyes. Where Carolyne’s eyes were reminiscent of spring, Carla’s muddy brown eyes seemed more at home in autumn. “Feel free to talk to me anytime.”

            Carolyne put her hands back in her pockets.  “Sure,” she said, but even then, Carla knew she never would.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Carolyne sat alone for a while after that to gather her thoughts.  She sat on the bridge’s railing, staring out into the misty depths of the canyon.  Sometimes, she thought she could see the very bottom, but in truth it was all just a great shadow.  Even if she could see it, she would never know.

            Deidra left with Cornelius in tow, and that is when Carolyne took the chance to enter the cathedral.  She didn’t like it there.  The air outside felt oppressive, but the air inside was otherworldly.  Rows of pews lined the first floor, leading up to a raised platform with a wooden pedestal at its center.  Four marble columns held the second floor aloft, and a ghostly red glow could be seen from above

            Sitting in the center, staring at the podium, was Goliath.  He had his hands folded and head down in prayer.  Carolyne approached him and stopped at the end of his pew, staring at him and wondering how he managed to fit.  Being as big as he was, he seemed entirely too large for the seat itself.

            “May I help you?”  He asked without opening his eyes, and Carolyne stayed quiet until he looked at her.  Then she crossed her arms and sat at the far end of the pew, legs folded, and she stared back.  He cocked an eyebrow at her.  “Yes?”

            “You were the one sent to kill Alex.”

            “Yes.”

            “But you didn’t.”

            “No.”

            “Why?”

            “She was weak and hardly worth it.  There is nothing to be gained from slaughtering the weak and the innocent.”
            “Then why do it now?  Why follow Abel at all?”

            He stared at her for a few moments longer and then bowed his head.  Finishing his prayer, a few silent whispers meant only for him, and he rose.  His body was a pillar of muscle, carved straight from marble and gleaming with perspiration.  “I dueled him once, long ago, when I first arrived here.  He defeated me, quickly, and proved his will was stronger than mine.”  Goliath looked at her.  “He is stronger than me.  So, he leads me.  Do you understand?”

            “I guess.”  Carolyne swayed her foot.  “And you...”  She paused.  “When you see her again, what will you do?”

            He took a great breath.  From where she sat, he seemed so tall that he scrapped the sky.  “I will let her decide how we proceed and react accordingly.  Nothing more and nothing less.”

            “You’ll kill her?”

            “Those were my orders.”  They locked eyes for only a moment, and Carolyne saw him for what he was.  Everyone who came to the Emotion lost something, and in that loss, they became something else, and she saw Goliath for what he became.  He was big and strong, and that is how he defined himself.

            He sidled out of the pew and turned his back on her, taking the long walk with his head high shoulders set.  He left the Cathedral, and he left her alone, shaking her foot in the silence and sorting her thoughts.

            She wanted to kill, had to kill to prove that she could, that she was above them, better than, ascended, but something held her back.  Ellen looked so weak, so frail, so pathetic, and though it turned Carolyne’s stomach, it also weakened her resolved.  However bad she wanted it, in that moment at least, Carolyne just couldn’t shake her second thoughts.

24: Volume Two: Murderers, Chapter Eight: The Glass House (The BoneGrinder, Remix)

Chapter Eight: The Glass House (The BoneGrinder, Remix)

 

            Alex didn’t dream.  After Alicia’s death, she dreamt every night, about Alicia, sick in bed, pale, buried in blankets.  Then, after years passed, she dreamt of darkness or blackness, emptiness, vast and hungry, eating every memory she had of her sister and growing hungrier after.  This time, Alex didn’t dream.  She slept deeply and soundly for what felt like the first time in her life, with no nightmares or voices to distract her.

            When she woke she was calm, almost happy.  He wounds had closed, her fevers passed.  Stiff limbs loosened as she rose, and though she was still bruised across her arm and chest, she was mobile, even healthy.

            She found Shana beside her.  They had fallen asleep hidden in the grass, lying beside the water, and she woke instead in what looked to her like a hollowed-out glass bead.  Tall, thick pillars of glass surrounded her on all sides, edges smoothed to a voluptuous roundness, perhaps by erosion or some other voice.

            The interior was glossy and dark.  There was light, somewhere, swallowed by the thick glass and dimmed to the point where it was nearly impossible to see.  The walls were cool to the touch and cast everything in a dull, blue-white color that blurred everything together.

            She felt along the walls for a few feet and found they were in a cavern.  There was a long, winding path that ended immediately behind them and another that led away and deeper in.  The shadows were darker, there.  There was less light to go by.  She followed it for some time, to where the paths forked, and then returned, deciding it was better to work her way back to Shana before they were separated again.

            Shana woke at Alex’s approached.  She stretched and yawned, and then felt around their darkened surroundings.  “Alex?  Alex!”

            “I’m here.”  Alex joined her on the floor, sitting beside her close enough that they brushed shoulders.  Feeling her then, Shana settled, and Alex could almost feel her smile in the darkness.

            “Where are we?”

            “Not too sure.  The surroundings shifted again.”

            “Yeah, looks like.”  Shana rubbed the sleep from her eyes and then placed her palm along the wall.  Alex couldn’t see her, but she could feel the movement of her body, and it seemed to her that Shana was tracing the contours of the glass with her palm.  “Feels like we’re inside of a marble.  Weird.”

            Alex nodded and then stood.  She offered Shana her hand and helped her up.  “Wherever we are, we need to keep going.  Ellen and Abraham are lost somewhere in here.  Here being...this whole place.”

            “Here being the Emotion?”

            Alex paused and wondered just how much Shana knew.  She remembered the dark-haired woman who disappeared as they fought and wondered about her, too.  In the end, it didn’t matter, and she didn’t want to revisit it.  The battle itself had been hard enough, on both of them, and was not worth revisiting.

            Alex didn’t know much about the Emotion, though.  Carolyne had called it the ‘heart of God,’ but that didn’t mean much.  It was a strange place, pulsing with so much life that sometimes Alex had trouble remembering herself while she was there, but she figured that didn’t matter, either.  She found Shana, and she would find Ellen and Abraham, and that’s all she cared about.

            She took Shana’s hand, like she would when they were children, and led her forward in the darkness.  In her free right hand, Alex conjured her Voice, Three Gods. Feeling the familiar tingle travel up her spine, it formed in the air, reality warping to accommodate its sudden intrusion, and her senses shifted.  The life felt sharper, the area around her more detailed.  The blade slid smoothly from the brace and, once it was fully formed, she found the words and spoke them silently to herself.

            Blazing corona, lustrous light, red blade of power, lend me your might.

            A soft, orange glow formed along the face of Three God’s blade and lit the area around them.  It wasn’t much to see by, but it was better than nothing.  In the dim, hazy light, Alex saw Shana smile.

            “Well, that’s pretty convenient,” Shana said, and Alex tried not to smile.

            “It’s not much.”

            Alex led them with her arm out, keeping her heated blade at a distance.  They took the left path out and into a narrow room, dark like the rest.  The shadows were dense here, the glass thicker above from the looks of it, and swallowing the light.  Sometimes, when Alex moved her blade, it seemed to her like the shadows were telling her lies, showing tunnels that weren’t there.

            She stopped and closed her eyes because she didn’t trust them anymore.  Instead, she called out with her soul.  It stretched out, filling the halls, filling the world, spreading into the light all around that made up the life of the Emotion and seeing through it.  She sorted through it all and found herself, standing with Shana, hand-in-hand.

            She moved deeper and reached farther, burying herself into the energy that surrounded her and letting it spread through her.  The Emotion was vast, greater than anything she had ever seen, a world or even countless worlds itself.  In this great, endless light she found the boy from the library.  His aura was gentle but edged, as if something was weighing on him and chipping away at his heart.

            Beyond and beside him, she found Ellen, her presence gentle and warm, reminding her of a sunflower in bloom.  She found also another presence, one which dwarfed her own and seemed almost a world of its own.  The presence was vast and empty, devoid of almost everything at all.  It cast light, but that light was entirely without color.

            As she came back, she found another presence.  It was faint but powerful, and once she looked in on it, she knew immediately.  The presence had gone native and was slowly being swallowed by the Emotion, as Alex feared she might be, but what it lacked in depth it made up for in density.  She knew it immediately and found it waiting not far ahead.

            She opened her eyes and stared out into the darkness.  Shana stood beside her, holding her by the hand and looking anxious.  “Alex?  You okay?”

            Alex nodded.  “Yeah.”  She looked ahead, down the tunnel.  It was there—he was there—Goliath, waiting to finish what he started.  She looked back at Shana and knew what she had to do.  “Wait here.  I’m going to scout up ahead and see if there’s a way out.”  She released Shana’s hand but was grabbed by the wrist before she could go.

            “No, Alex.  We should stick together.  It’s safer that way.”

            “No.”  Alex jerked away.  “You stay here.”  She tried her best to look resolute but found it hard when staring into Shana’s eyes.  “You look tired.  So, rest.”

            “I’m fine, Alex, and it’s dangerous here.  I won’t let you go alone when I can go with you.”

            “You’re waiting here, and that’s the end of it.”

            “No, it’s actually not.”  Shana was glaring, now, and had her hands on her hips.  It was a warning sign Alex knew well.  “I want to help you, Alex.  I’m going to help you.”

            Alex paced.  She braced into the wall and looked ahead at the tunnel.  From where she was, she thought there might be a curve in the darkness.  In her mind’s eye, she could see Goliath waiting on her, and she could also see Shana there beside him, broken at his feet, killed to get at Alex.  That couldn’t happen, Alex wouldn’t let it, so she let go.

            Three Gods dissolved into the air and the light went with it.  The darkness was abrupt, made worse by the sudden disappearance of light, but Alex knew where she was going and how to get there.  She heard Shana stumble after her, could almost feel her groping in the darkness.

            “Alex!  Wait, why are you doing this? Where are you going?”

            Alex followed the tunnel to the bend and stopped.  She looked back.  “I’m sorry, Shana, but I don’t have a choice.  I won’t let you get hurt, and I definitely won’t let you die for me.  I’ll come back for you when it’s all over, but for now, you have to stay here and stay safe.”

            “Alex!  Stop!  Where are you going?  You can’t die, dammit!  Get back here!”

            Alex whispered a, “Goodbye,” and left as she heard Shana crying.  She turned the corner and followed it down, exploring the tunnels far ahead of her.  Shana was smart and stubborn, too, so Alex knew she would follow, but she hoped that Goliath could be dealt with before Shana’s arrival.  It didn’t matter to Alex who died in the fight, so long as it wasn’t Shana.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex found Goliath waiting in a large, domed cavern.  The ceiling was high and thin, the light from above shining brighter here, perhaps even amplified by the glass.  The walls were smoothed and contoured like the rest of the cavern.  Eight giant, glass pillars filled the center with narrow spaces cut through each of them by water, time, or magic—Alex didn’t know.  All three seems possible in the Emotion.  Alex walked between two as she approached Goliath.

            He was seated, legs crossed, near the far wall.  An enormous sword, easily taller than Alex and wider, too, was laid at rest in front of him.  The grip was made of dark steel and was as long as one of her arms.  Her arrival pulled him from his reverie.

            Goliath smiled as their gazes met.  The shadows here were swallowed by the light, and those that remained had sharp edges to them.  It made his face look gaunt and his muscles harder cut.  In this light, she could see him for what he truly was—a giant of a man, skilled in combat, and sent to kill her.  He stood, hefting the massive blade as if it were weightless.  “Welcome.  Where is your friend?  You aren’t here alone.”

            Alex went stiff.  They knew, already, about Shana.  That was the line she needed.  Before, she hesitated to kill Goliath, but she would do anything to protect Shana.  “What do you people want with us?”

            His smile faded.  He held the blade in one hand and moved it with impossible ease.  “I’ve been sent to kill you.”  He didn’t say it with humor or joy.  It was like the words were heavy, and he hardly seemed able to force them from his lips.  “You should have given up last time, when I let you live, because I can’t do that again.  This time, I can’t let you escape with your life.  You have to die, and so does she.”

            “And why?  Why do we have to die? We just want to find our friends.  What does any of that have to do with you?”

            “It doesn’t matter,” Goliath said.  “These are my master’s orders.  I won’t fail him again.”

            Alex screamed, “Why?  You clearly don’t want to do this, so why?  Why follow someone who would order you to kill a complete stranger?”

            “Because, he is strong, stronger than you or I, and the strong lead the weak.  That is the way of the world, girl.  You lived last time only because I allowed it, and you will die now because he demands it.  For whatever reason, he sees you as a threat, and that is very unfortunate for you.”

            His words and tone left her feeling numb.  Somewhere else, sitting on high, there was someone stronger than Goliath.  Someone stronger than the man who nearly killed her, and that was the one who wanted her dead.  All of the bruises in her body ached in remembrance.  She knew from the start that there would be no reasoning with him, but she had still hoped for the best.

            She thought of Shana then, and her eyes narrow.  She called on Three Gods, and in a flash of liquid steel it appeared and spread across her arm.  The blade extended and the red jewel gleamed in the dragon’s maw.  She widened her stance and tried her best to keep limber.  “Fine!  If that’s all you can say, then let’s finish this.”

            He sighed.  “And you plan to fight again.  Don’t you remember what happened last time?  How futile your struggle is?  I thought those wounds might teach you a lesson.”

            “They did.  They taught me what would happen if you got your hands on Shana.  So, I won’t lose again, not after you threatened her.  You can break my legs, sever my spine, for her, I’ll keep fighting until the end!”

            Goliath gave a long, cold stare and shook his head.  “Fine,” he growled, “We will do it your way.  It doesn’t matter.  In the end, you’ll both be dead.”

            The air grew tense and heavy, and the distance between them no longer seemed so great.  Goliath stood tall, shoulders straight, his blade seized in both hands.  It looked sharp enough to cleave through stone.  His entire body was hardened, one massive muscle ready to pounce, and staring at him Alex felt like a tiny girl in far over her head.

            He moved and roared, dragging his blade and leaving a long, thin trail of glass shards in his wake.  Meeting him head on would be fruitless.  He was a warrior and knew how to kill.  In a fair fight, he was better.  Alex knew this and retreated, backing up and rounding a nearby pillar to hide behind.

            Goliath stopped and spun, moving the blade cleanly through the foggy glass.  Alex felt it pass only inches above her head.  Cracks spread out like long, jagged fingers through the glass.  She heard his blade making a second pass along the ground and barely caught glimpse of it in time to jump and save her ankles.

            The landing left her flat on her stomach.  On the other side of the pillar Goliath gave another roar, this one sounding more beast than man, and planted his foot against the pillar.  He pushed, and the glass screeched and shattered as it slid out and tilted forward.  Alex saw the shadows shifting, felt the floor rumble and fissure, and she rolled out of the way just in time.

            Shards of glass scattered around her.  They bloodied her hand as she pushed herself to standing.  There was no time to think of a new strategy, Goliath was on her and he brought his blade with him.  He leveled it and swung at her waist.  She leapt away and sought refuge behind another pillar, this one thicker than the last, and made the long sprint around it.

            Here, she stopped and waited.  He was on the other side.  She could feel him, his presence stirring the air.  He lifted his blade and forced it through the glass.  It appeared just beside her, and she moved as he gave a herculean jerk and parted the pillar, tearing half of the glass away as he removed his blade.  The glass dissolved into a fine, shimmering fog that spread around them and cut Alex’s lungs as she breathed.

            Suddenly, the last battle came back to her.  Alex remembered the injuries, her bruises aching, and she could only see Goliath now as a hazy figure on the other side of the fog.  His big form moved swiftly toward her, preparing for a lunge.  Another deep breath, and Alex leapt into the hollow of the pillar where he was and met his thrust, and she aimed for the heart.

            Goliath stopped and brought his blade up, swatting at her with the flat side.  She landed on it, her feet finding home on its improbably width, and was thrown a few feet away, landing between two other pillars and rolling to a clumsy halt just passed them.  Goliath gave a smile.

            “Impressive,” he said, turning to meet her.  He leapt and brought his blade down over head, and he was just about to land a killing blow when a flash of light distracted them both.  Shana met him in the air, intercepting his weapon with her own.  Her Voice knocked his blade aside and into the pillar to Alex’s left, shattering it in impact.

            Shana landed on one knee in front of Alex, breathless but ready.

            “Shana?  What the hell are you doing here? I told you to wait!”

            “And I told you I was coming,” Shana said, and she stood beside Alex.  “He’s the one who hurt you, right?”  She stared at Goliath, through him, and held her Voice firmly in both hands.  “Now, it’s my turn to hurt him!”

            Goliath forced his blade free.  He towered over both of them.  Even together, defeating him seemed impossible.  He sneered.  “You could have chosen Samantha and lived, you know.  Then, neither you nor she would have had to die.”

            Shana breath caught.  Her grip lightened.  “Samantha’s dead?”

            Goliath brought the blade down again, and this time Alex intercepted.  She shoved Shana to the side and then leapt away, letting the blade crash into the air between them.  Shana was still stunned on the other side, but Alex was standing.  “Go, Shana!  I don’t want you here.  I don’t want you to get hurt!”

            Shana recovered, pulling herself up with the pillar behind her and bracing against it.  “Idiot!  Don’t you ever think about me, about what I want?   You don’t want to lose me.  You want to protect me!”  She glared and lifted her hammer again.  “What about how I don’t want to lose you?  What about how I don’t want YOU to be hurt!”

            Alex paused.  In truth, in all her life, she had never considered it.  Even in that moment, when she was told in person, she didn’t really understand.  Being so weak as Alex was, she had always figured Shana thought of her as a burden, an obligation, a responsibility.  She always felt like she held Shana back, that all of it was simply pity and kindness.

            Goliath spun, bringing his blade around and aiming to sever Shana’s head with a single stroke.  Shana ducked under and let the blade slice through the pillar at her back, and Alex then saw her change.  She summoned all of her strength and charged, and she felt lighter and stronger than she ever had before.  She leaped, and she felt like she was flying.

            Her Voice scratched the ceiling at acme, and words came to her from somewhere deep in her soul.  She heard them and understood then, and she let the form in her throat and change the world around her.  “All sorrow at bay.  All hope come to light!”

            Alex landed with staggering force.  Three Gods shined, bright as the sun, and lit the cavern interior.  It was blinding and warm, and Goliath caught the attack with the flat of his blade but couldn’t stand against it.  His rooted legs came undone, and as he staggered, his blade collapsed as she grew ever brighter.

            This time, he was moved, moved into the glass wall on the other side of the room with enough force to shatter it on impact.  His slumped, the glass dusting his body, still conscious but stunned.  Alex landed, equally surprised, but didn’t take the time to admire her work.  She went straight to Shana and helped her to stand.

            They made eye contact, and Alex allowed a small, hesitant smile.  “Thank you, Shana.  For everything.  For caring about me.”

            Shana smiled back, though she seemed more bemused than happy, as she tilted her head to one side.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

            Alex was about to reply when she felt it.  The air had shifted and a chill crawled up her spine.  Shana goes wide-eyed just before Alex throws them both down, and a chunk of glass, literally pulled from one of the standing towers, sails overhead.  It collapses the pillar nearby and covers both girls in a find, glittering dust.

            Alex stood and turned to find Goliath on his feet.  He wiped blood from his chest, mixing it in with the sweat and hair there.  At his feet laid his fractured sword, parted in two by her attack.  The wall behind him had a deep crack where he had landed.

            He grinned.  “You’re faring much better than you did before, I’ll admit.”  He reached into the air and the light shifted.  From the ether he produced a large, leather whip which fell, coiled, at his feet.  With a flickm the whip snapped and severed what remained of the nearby pillar.  It hung suspended for a moment before collapsing to the ground.

            He repeated the movement, this time leaving a lash cut in the ground around Alex’s feet, and he started toward her.  Alex retreated a step and remembered Shana beside her, found her kneeling and breathless.  She stared ahead a moment and then sprinted away, drawing Goliath away with her.

            He followed, leaving deep gashes in the glass around her.  She fell back and let her momentum slide her forward, into the safety of one of the few pillars left, and there stopped to catch her breath.  She could hear the whip snapping and cracking and then felt it catch her in the side as it came around the pillar.

            Contact was soft but deep, splashing blood across the glass and leaving her to scream and wince as she clutched the fresh wound.  From a distance she heard Shana yell and then watched as the whip unfurled, moving almost in slow-motion as it struck like a serpent.

            The air shifted again, and this time Shana changed.  Alex recognized that moment of inspiration, when the Voice came to her.  The hammer shimmered, and Shana’s Voice seemed lighter as she charged forward, her body moving with uncharacteristic speed, and she screamed, “Ignore my title, dismiss my name.  Hear only my song!”

            The air hummed and the glass fractured around Shana as she moved.  Just as the whip was about the strike, Shana caught it with a well-placed swing and brought it just short.  It snapped inches from Alex’s face, leaving only a shallow gash across the bridge of her nose.

            Alex recoiled back, wincing as she did, and as she recovered found the floor shuddering.  Chunks of glass disappeared into a dark abyss below as the floor gave out from under them.  Goliath was the first to fall, his heavy body being too much to bear.  Alex and Shana ran for her each other, hands out-stretched, as the darkness swallowed them.

            The world grew dark and cold.  Alex saw nothing in the darkness, save for two lights.  One was dim and the other shined brighter than any beacon, and she knew it immediately—Shana.  She went for it but soon even that was gone.

            As the darkness receded Alex found herself in water.  She was warm and sore.  The wound in her side pulsed and stung, as did her nose.  She opened her eyes and found a clear blue sky with a pale sun suspended in the distance.  A halo of light burned, prismatic, around it.

            She sat up and struggled in the effort.  Once again, her body wished not to heed her and couldn’t support her.  She fell back, again, heavy as a stone, and the darkness took her again.

25: Volume Two: Murderers, Chapter Nine: The Island part 1

Chapter Nine: The Island, part one

 

            Alex woke on the beach, body half-submerged in the rolling tides.  She was face-down in the wet sand, mouth salty and dry.  A cough made the wound in her side throb, and each slow movement reminded her of the battle that brought her here. 

            The sun was high and pale, like she remembered from the water.  It hurt to open her eyes, but she forced through it as she dragged herself from the water and fell onto her back.  Sand clung to her wet flesh wherever it could.  It hurt to breathe, almost even hurt to think.  Her memories were vague.  She remembered Goliath, remembered Shana shining brighter than a star, and then the fractured glass and darkness.

            The blue sky was vacant and merged into the blue sea in the horizon.  The island where she was sat alone, adrift in endless, shifting waters.  There weren’t even any clouds to keep her company and no wind to stave off the heat of the sun.  It the far distance, just at the edge of what she could see, Alex thought there might be a shoreline, but she also thought it might be her imagination.

            A large forest dominated the islands core.  It was populated by thick rooted trees, bark like dark chocolate, standing so tall they seemed to hold the sky in their branches.  When she closed her eyes, she felt nothing inside, no light, no life.  She was alone there, entirely and completely, accompanied only by the sound of her heart hammering in her chest.

            She forced herself to sitting, and then to standing.  Her shoes squished as she walked, and she managed a few solid steps before she was reduced to a shuffle.  The shore where she walked was made of fine, white sand, so pure that her footprints may have been the first ever left there.  After thirty-minutes she came to a stop, staring at the foot prints she just made in the sand and the outline of her body where she had previous lied.

            She fell to her knees, shuddering, and hugged herself.  “No,” she whispered to herself, tears in her eyes.  She thought of Shana, and she stood again, difficult as it was.  She had found her before, and she could find her again.  She believed that as much as she could believe in anything.

            Movement, out of the corner of her eye, and she followed it into the forest.  She didn’t get a good look as it darted between the trees.  It was a small shadow, a child hardly to her waist, dark hair trailing after it like a shadow.

            “Abraham?”

            Alex followed, running as quickly as her legs could carry her and faster still when she could manage.  The tiny shadow forged ahead, ducking under branches, weaving through the thickets like it knew them by heart.  Alex stumbled after, feet swallowed by dead leaves, tripping and tumbling over hanging vines.

            They stopped together in a clearing, grass blackened and burnt, ground overturned, gutted.  Dead trees laid, rotting, to one side.  It looked to Alex like a scar cut deep into the forest, and the figure, a child, stood in the center.  It was a girl, dressed all in black, dark eyes fixed on Alex as she approached.  She looked like Abraham, but close examination showed Alex that she wasn’t.

            The little girl had dark hair, though not black, and tan skin.  Their eyes, Alex’s and the girls, and were the same color, the same brown so deep and dark that it almost looked like a void in space.  She smiled, bashfully, and gave a little wave.  “Hello,” she said, in a voice Alex recognized.

            In fact, Alex knew her, and stood, rooted, trying to place the little girl’s face.  It was so familiar, someone she knew from her past, someone she knew so well.  Every aspect of her was familiar, a memory long abandoned or deeply buried.  She knew her eyebrows, her nose, her tiny chin and her teeth, her posture, and even her laugh.

            “Wait.”  Alex’s eyes went wide, and once again she was shaking.  “Are you?”

            The girl giggled.  “My name is Alex,” she said.  “I’m you!”

 

: Murderer :

 

            Shana woke up in the sand, water tickling her toes and teasing her bare feet as it licked at the shore.  The sun was hot on her, warming her bones and sand around her.  She could taste salt and dirt and moved her dry tongue about before spitting out a mouthful of sand.  She could hear the sea shifting around her, singing softly in the breeze.

            She sat up and opened her eyes.  The beach around her was empty, white sand gleaming in the midday sun.  The blue-green sea stretched out behind her, into the horizon.  She thought, in the distance, she could see the shadow of an enormous tree, its long, spindly branches scrapping the sky.  Before her was a forest, dense and dark, bark like coal and leaves like emeralds.

            She stood and dusted her pants, knocking the sand from them as she spat more sand onto the ground.  she tucked back a few stray hairs and gave another cursory glance.  Alex was missing, disappearing after the glass fell away.  They had reached for each other in the darkness but were pulled apart.

            Shana held out her hand and called to it.  With it, she could search for Alex, even find her, but when she closed her eyes it wasn’t there.  The light inside of her was swallowed by the light around her.  It was so bright that it was blinding, and she couldn’t filter it.  So, she instead walked the length of the beach to see if she could find Alex nearby and called for Alex on the way.

            The island was empty, save for the forest at its center, which was nothing but shadows and silence.  It seemed to her as empty as the rest of the shoreline.  Wherever she was, she was alone, covered in sand, mouth dry as a casket.  She slumped with a sigh and hugged her knees at the edge of the water.  Again, she closed her eyes.

            Alex appeared in her mind, lying in the rain and bleeding.  Carolyne was nearby, looking equally dire.  That is how Shana found them, dying or near death, she could hardly tell.  There wasn’t time to contemplate it.  She applied pressure to the wound but found the blood slipping through her fingers.  She didn’t have enough strength to save Alex; it would have taken all the strength in the world.

            Shana had screamed and then there was a flash.  Then she was alone in a jungle, humidity leaving her clothes wet against her skin, her hair curling and damped.  Samantha found her, then.  Samantha, with her dark hair and ivory skin.  Samantha, who loved her and who she loved and through a series of mistakes and a strange revelation, Shana found Alex again, and she felt whole.

            She remembered how warm Alex had felt, and how brightly she had shined, and...

            Shana sat up.  “Warmth.”  She looked up at the sun and the clear blue sky.  “Light.”  She stood and looked back toward the forest, and she realized the truth.  Alex wasn’t missing but was all around her.  When reaching to her Voice, to Heart Song, she hadn’t failed but had found Alex already, burning like a beacon in the night.  The sun light, Shana realized, was decidedly familiar.  It was the way Alex shined when she would smile, and Shana knew it by heart.

            She smiled and hugged her legs tighter.  Alex was there, with her, all around her, and Shana was sure that if she waited long enough, they would see each other again.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex stared, and the younger version of her stared back.  The girl, Alex realized, didn’t simply share her face.  She shared her dark hair, her dark eyes, perhaps even her soul.  Somewhere inside of her still, Alex was the little girl staring back at her, and somehow, that little girl was her.

            “What...”  Alex paused, thought.  Her head still felt heavy like lead, and her brain, too.  It felt like she had been compressed and, all-in-all, she felt oddly self-conscious facing herself like that.  Without Shana there, Alex was entirely alone with herself.  Eventually, she settled on, “How’d you get here?”

            The girl skipped toward her, hopping over burnt earth and broken branches.  She came to a stop before Alex, her dark hair swaying, and she pointed at Alex’s chest, just left of center.  “Abraham thought we should meet.”

            That meant Abraham was alive, or so Alex assumed.  She crossed her arms and examined the little girl closely and found she looked very solid.  In fact, the longer Alex looked, the more real the girl became until she seemed more substantial than even the dirt beneath them.  “And you’re me, right?”

            Little Alex nodded, and she held her taller doppelganger’s gaze.  Alex kneeled down so that they were face-to-face, Alex the sober adult, solemn, serious, and mature; and Alex the little girl, pure innocence hidden behind smiles and jitters.

            “And why did she want us to meet?”

            The girl shrugged and stared at the ground, swaying gently as she rubbed her own arms.  She looked small and sad, but it lasted only a moment before her energy returned.  She met her own gaze again and gave her a familiar look, one that was meant only for Alicia.

            Alex stood stiff and stuffed her hands into her pockets.  She stared out at the forest, her face a mask of stone.  Her thoughts went to work, to Shana, to survival, to Abraham and the Emotion.  The sky was still clear blue.  There wasn’t a cloud in sight.

            Little Alex frowned.  “Why are you so grumpy all the time?”

            Alex looked down and found the girl staring again, arms crossed, feet planted, a miniature her with the same miniature gestures.  Even when narrowed, those dark eyes were big as saucers and dark as the ocean’s depths.

            “Just shut up, will you I’m trying to think.”  Alex paced away, walking the area of the scar.  If Shana was somewhere on the island, she reasoned, it was somewhere in the woods.  If she wants, then Alex would have to find a way off.  The Emotion, as she understood it, was meta-physical.  Maybe, she could use her voice to find a way off.

            Little Alex followed, trailing with her arms held behind her, humming to herself.  They walked for nearly ten minutes in silence, a girl and her past.

            Alex stopped, stared down at her smaller self.  “What’re you doing?”

            “Following.”

            “Why?”

            “Because.  Where are you going?”

            Alex rolled her eyes, huffed.  “I’m looking for someone.”

            A moment of contemplative quiet and then a smile exploded onto the little girl’s face.  She took Alex by the fingers, her hand small but strong, and gave a tug.  “You’re looking for Shana!  Follow me, I know where she is!”

            Alex was tugged forward and followed hesitantly.  Of all the people she knew, Alex trusted herself the least, but she had nowhere else to go.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Shana fell asleep, curled up and hugging her knees at the edge of the shore, the gentle lull of the waves sending her off as the water licked at her toes.  She fell into the darkness of her dreams, where time was suspended.  She waited like a stone until she heard something calling out to her from that darkness, a voice like a song, like the waves and the shore, perpetually rolling.  Time didn’t pass in the Emotion, she remembered, at least not in a manner which she understood.

            The voice drew nearer.  Shana, listen to me.  Hear me.  Please.

            It was a high voice that bounced around her.  It was the wind on the trees, distant and beautiful.  It was the twinkle of the stars against the black night.  She stood in the sand and opened her eyes, and she stared into the horizon, but she saw nothing.

            Please.  Just listen.  Open your heart and listen.

            The voice, Shana realized, was from inside of her.  It was the light inside, shining bright even in the darkness.  It was her soul.  The words reverberated through her entire being, and it surrounded her and consumed her, just as she surrounded and consumed it.  She closed her eyes again, and she saw it in the darkness.

            Her Voice was strange and beautiful, with long ears like that of a fox but a brunt, whale-like face.  Long whiskers hung from its maw; a tail swayed behind its heavy form.  Its appraised her with eyes that were the same color of brown as hers.  Its flesh was blue and gold.

            Warmth spread through her as it approached, and she opened her eyes and found it now floating above the water at roughly the same height as her.  Up close, it was enormous with a hardened carapace covering its upper body.  Long trains of knitted silk hung from its body, catching the breeze and spreading like wings.

            She touched its furry ears, and it rolled onto its back, revealing its soft underside.  She laughed.  “You’re my Voice, aren’t you?”

            It mewled symphonically.

            “I thought so.  But what are you doing here?  How did you even get here?”

            I came for you, it sang, I came to help you.  You’re looking for Alex, but she’s not here.  You’re too close to see where she is.  It righted itself and sunk under her, surfacing beneath her and lifting her onto its back.  The ridges in the carapace was perfectly spaced to fit her.  Her Voice cradled her as it drifted up into the blue sky.  Around her, she could see the skyline stretching out infinitely and the small island shrinking from view.

            Shana hugged its frame.  “What do you mean by I’m too close?”

            You’re inside of her right now, but that isn’t the same as seeing her.  A cell in your body doesn’t see you because it’s the same.  But I can take you to her.  I can help you find her, to really see her.

            “To really see her?  Like, what do you mean?”

            I can take you to her heart.

            “To her heart?  Like the Emotion?”

            Yes, but inside of her.  Alex is lost and alone, isolated in a sea of her own sorrow.  This is why she is here but not with you, and you cannot help her fix the problem.  Not here, and not how you would like.  It’s hers and hers alone, but you can still help.

            Shana nodded.  “I understand, and I want to be there.”  She grabbed tightly to the armor and patted her Voice’s side.  “Take me to her.”

            Her Voice hummed and drifted higher into the sky.  Water swallowed them from above and the world went black.  Shana’s lungs burnt as they ascended, going higher and deeper.  The shadows grew thick, dark hangs grabbing at her.  Her chest ached, her ears throbbed, but she kept her eyes open and, eventually, she saw the light.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex stood by the water, where the girl led her.  They still held hands, and the girl’s other arm, small and dainty, was stretched out and toward the sea where she pointed.  “She’s there,” she said.  “But you can’t see her cause it’s too far.”

            Alex released the girl, jerking her arm away and stepping into the water.  Her shoes filled.  In the distance, she could see a land mass and, in the foggy horizon, possibly an enormous tree, and she scowled.  After everything, all of the battles, all of the struggle, all of the hurt, Shana was stolen away from her yet again.  Another loss, another set-back, added to a lifetime of them.

            She kicked at the water.  “What the hell is the point of all of this?”  She screamed and flailed, and she stared then at the girl, who was recoiling back.  “So, what? I’m stuck here?  Stuck here while Shana is over there, out of reach!  I can’t even have her, can I?”  She approached her younger self and took her by the shoulders.  Shaking her, she screamed, “Why?  Why does this keep happening?  What did I do to be punished like this?  Wasn’t it bad enough to...”  She stopped, expression softening, eyes empty.  She turned back toward the sea, slouched, hands in her pocket.

            The girl paused beside her, hesitating.  A few empty seconds pass without only the sound of the tide to fill them.  Little Alex stepped forward.  “Are you okay?”

            “Just tell me how to fix it.”

            The girl took a deep breath, frowned.  She looked older, now, older than Alex, older than stones and trees, older than thought itself.  Standing beside Alex, she took her hand again.  “There is only one way, and you won’t like it, but I think it will work.”  She looked at Alex, a faint smile, and Alex nodded.  “Then, follow me.”

            They turned away from the water and the shore, and away from the horizon and stared into the forest.  From there Alex couldn’t see the scar, but she could feel it inside of her, deep, deep inside of her, hardened and forgotten, buried in the foundations of it.  The girl squeezed her fingers.  “Say goodbye to it,” she said.

            Alex looked at her.  “To what?”

            “To your little island.  When this is all over, you’ll never see it again.”  The girl looked at her, a tiny mirror, and said, “It’s important.  It’s how it starts.”

            Alex took a deep breath, and she nodded, and she whispered her goodbye.  Together they turned again and found the sea churning.  A storm was moving in, darkening the sky and stirring the waves.  Little Alex took a step forward, and Alex trailed after.

            The water opened, swelling with waves that parted like mouths and snapped at the air.  A long line of them spread across the sea, moving toward them with hurricane force, and the girls met them head on as they crashed against the shore, and they were swallowed.

            Darkness took them, blinded them, and chilled them.  The pressure of the water squeezed the last bit of light from inside of Alex, who awoke again, this time in darkness without even her soul to help her.  She heard a noise behind her, the sobbing of a child, and she saw a light, and she turned.

26: Volume Two: Murderers, Chapter Ten: The Island part 2

Chapter Ten: The Island, part two

 

            Water rushed by like a dream and Shana surfaced on the other side, dry and alert.  She found herself floating high above Sadieville, just above the college on a stormy day.  Heart Song swayed and swam through the air, taking her between the charged particles of a cloud-to-cloud lightning flash.  She could feel it in her skin as she passed by.  The airs on her arm stood on end.

            They left the cloud line and drifted down, droplets of water breaking around them as they moved.  The rain was suspended in the air like clear beads catching the light and casting small rainbows halos.

            Below them, coming into view, were two women standing in the rain.  One was a petite blonde brandishing a rapier.  The other a brunette hiding behind her hair, slouched in indecision, with a bracer on her right arm, a red gleaming gem, a blade extended from it.  The blonde had her hand out.  The brunette was splattered with blood.

            They came to rest there, and Shana hopped off, but she kept her hand on her Voice’s side.  She looked between Alex and Carolyne.  “Where are we? And what is, well, this?”

            A moment of great struggle within Alex’s heart.  It is a point of indecision, a moment of regret.  There are many in Alex’s heart, but this one is different.  It is special to her, because it involves Carolyne, and so it is playing in an endless loop at the back of her head while she struggles for resolution.

            Shana stepped away, rain sliding around her as she moved.  She looked between them again.  Carolyne didn’t look angry, for once.  She was pleading.  Her hand was a gesture of friendship, and offer of peace, maybe, but Alex didn’t seem happy with it.  She stopped and looked back at Heart Song.  “Can I help her?”

            You are free to do whatever you like.

            Shana nodded, and she went to Alex’s side.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex faced the shadows.  She recognized the smell of the room, cold and clinical.  She remembered the sobs, and she couldn’t force herself to turn.  So, she just stared out at the darkness before her, shaking, screaming inside.  Her younger self was gone, abandoning her to the void, to her most painful memories.

            “What’s going on,” she asked to the darkness.  “Where am I?”

            You know where you are.  Ahead, Three Gods appeared, a tall figure looking more statue than human and bearing two faces with a third in shadows.

            “And why am I here?”

            This is it, Alex.  The moment that most defines you.  The thing that is holding you back.  Only by facing this will you ever be able to move forward.  Life is more than making a choice.  Decisions mean nothing if you lack the will to follow through.

            Alex hugged her right arm.  For the first time in the Emotion she felt truly, completely alone.  “You’ll help me, right?”

            No.  I cannot.  This is your future, and it lies in your hands.  No one else can walk this path with you.

            “But why?  You’re a part of me, aren’t you?”

            Yes, but only a part.  The strength required to overcome this will take much more than me.

            Alex glared.  “Then go away, if you won’t help me.”

            I am sorry, it whispered, and it faded away.  Alex stayed there, hugging her arm tighter and tighter until she began to cramp.  Then, with a curse, she turned, and her world turned white.  White walls, pale florescent lights, a partially transparent white curtain, and three figures standing beside a bed.  There was a gleam of tawny hair between them.

            She recognized them.  She recognized the large man with the trimmed mustache.  She recognized the dark-haired woman, thin and sunken.  She recognized the small child, sobbing beside the bed, clutching the blankets and begging for her sister not to go.  The sight made Alex’s throat tight.

            Her approach was hesitant.  She made it to them and pulled the curtain aside long enough to see and then had to turn away.  The body, she recognized, too.  Skin pale as snow, lips blue, eyes closed, tawny hair fanned around her like brush fire.

            The room was silent, save for the sobs of Alex’s childhood self, pleading and begging for her sister to come back to her.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex looked different to Shana.  Her eyes were always dark, and they always carried a solemn weight behind them, but in that moment, they looked like heavier than the cosmos itself.  Shana reached out tenderly and touched her shoulder, and she whispered her name. “Alex.”

            Alex moved, turned her head to face Shana with those heavy eyes.  Her gaze softened, and she fell into Shana, hugging her close, wetting her with blood and rain.  “Shana?”

            Shana held her, smoothed her hair and whispered to her in calm, motherly tones.  They parted for a second, and Alex wiped away her tears.  Shana held her by the shoulders just to let her know that she wasn’t alone.  “Alex, what’s going on?  Why are you crying?”

            Alex didn’t speak.  She looked up, past Shana, to Carolyne, who remained frozen in the rain.  “I don’t know what do,” she said, and the words seem to hurt her.

            Shana glanced at Carolyne and met Alex’s eyes again.  “What do you mean you don’t know what to do?  What’s going on between you two?”

            A deep breath and a swallowed sob, and Alex spoke.  “I want to protect people, Shana.  I want to, but I don’t know how I can.  To do it, I may have to hurt other people.”  She looked at Carolyne.  “People important to me.  If I do that, then what’s the point?  It’s wrong to hurt, it’s wrong to kill, isn’t it?  But what do you do when the other people will hurt and kill if you don’t?”

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex kept her back to the curtain, to her family, until her younger self turned to her.  Tears flowed down her tiny cheeks.  Mucus ran from her nose.  She let out a suffocated squeal and turned to her parents, clutching them, sobbing and screaming.  “Why? Why is she gone? She can’t be gone.  She can’t!”

            No one answered.  There was no good answer, and Alex knew that.  Alicia had died, and it was a moment that Alex had always kept inside.  She had locked it away and kept it for herself, her greatest hurt, her deepest cut.  Alicia had always been sick, always been frail, but to Alex, she was the world.

            It was just as she remembered.  The white walls, her parents watching silently, too consumed with their own grief to accommodate that of their daughter.  Alicia looked lovely.  Alex had thought she was sleeping until she felt how cold she was.  Days later, her parents would say it was for the best, but that wasn’t right.  The world would forever be less for the loss of her sister, and for years after Alex would lie awake, crying into her pillow, and wonder why her sister didn’t take her along.

            “What happened,” the young Alex sobbed again, moving past her parents and to Alex.  She tugged her fingers with tiny little hands that matched her own.  “Where did she go? Why did she leave me?”

            Alex closed her eyes.  “It’s all a dream,” she said to herself, but the sobs were insistent.  She ran away, back toward the darkness, but found a wall there now and a door that wouldn’t open.  She beat on it, sobbed against it, adding her own sorrow to the sadness already there.  “It’s all a dream.  It’s all a dream.  It’s all a dream!” 

            Tears streaming, Alex collapsed at the door, and she cried with herself.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Shana considered Alex’s question, the morality of taking a life to defend the sanctity of life.  She considered her own struggle with Alex, and her love for Samantha, and the conflict she felt at the time.  They were very different situations, but they were just similar enough to give her perspective.  Both situations, at the very least, had no simple answers, no truly happy endings.

            Goliath, Carolyne, and Samantha, all stood in opposition of the safety and happiness that Shana wanted for Alex.  They all aimed to hurt others or use them for their own gain.

Samantha, who Shana loved more dearly than anyone else, used her as a tool.  Goliath fought to kill, and Carolyne had been hurting Alex for nearly a year now.  They all had the same goals, and they all needed to be stopped.  The question was what means were there to stop them, or what price would be paid to do it.

            Shana took Alex’s left hand and squeezed it tight.  “It’s not wrong to fight to protect others,” she said, and she said it slowly.  The thoughts weren’t fully formed yet, but she was at the cusp.  She simply didn’t know how to explain it.  “It’s not wrong because, well, sometimes we have to.  Some people, they don’t understand the different between right and wrong, between good and evil.  They think—They think that they have the right to hurt others, that their goals justify it, but they don’t and, well, pacifism is great and all, but it only takes one person to ruin it.  And if no one stands against them, Alex, then they’ll keeping on hurting people, even killing people, to get what they want.”

            Alex stared at her, and she seemed uncertain.

            Shana pointed at Carolyne.  “She wants to hurt people, doesn’t she?  People who want nothing more than to live.  She will kill them if you don’t stop her, and the only way to stop her is with force because that’s all that she understands.  You can’t reason with her because, at this point, she is beyond reason. At this point, she’s beyond human compassion.”

            Alex looked ahead and nodded.  “I know she is but, I still don’t want to hurt her.”

            Shana hugged Alex, and at first Alex just stood there, but in time, she hugged Shana back.  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, you know.  You don’t have to fight.”

            They parted, and Alex stared Shana in the eyes.  She looked so sad and so tired, but Shana could see a hint of warmth in her eyes, a hint of light.  They looked at Carolyne together.  “I can’t just let her kill people, though, can I?”

            Shana sighed as the loop completed, a deadly ouroboros.  “I know you want an easy answer, but there isn’t one.  No matter where you stand, you’ll be stepping on someone’s toes.  You may never be able to protect her while you’re trying to protect the world because they may always be in conflict.”

            Alex slouched again, weighted by the world, and while she was never the picture of pride, Shana could see the pain brought on by this harsh reality.  Alex was periphery even in her own life, never living for herself and always for others, and in that moment she seemed unable to pick someone to live for.

            Shana hugged her again and whispered to her, “But just because something is impossible doesn’t mean you should make the effort.  It will be tough, but the right thing is always tough.  And maybe, someday, you’ll have to choose, but if you don’t give up, and you work hard, maybe you’ll find a way.”  She pulled back, smiled.  “And, for what it’s worth, you’ll never be alone.  I’ll be there to help you along to the very end.”

            Alex was quiet, face empty, unreadable.  Then, she pulled Shana into another hug, this one tight and sincere, and she asked into Shana’s neck, “Do you mean it?”

            “Of course,” Shana said, and she hugged her friend back, holding her in the rain that wasn’t falling, lightning caught in cold, gleaming blasts high above.  “I believe in you, Alex, and I know that you can do whatever you set your mind to.  If you want to protect everyone, then protect everyone.  All you have to do, all you can do in this world, is your best.”

            As they part Shana saw Alex smiling, a true, genuine smile, not a sardonic half-smirk, for the first time in years.  It suited her.  She looked at Carolyne and stepped forward, in front of Shana.  Her wrist gleamed as she leveled her Voice, holding it in front of her, and the world blurred into motion.  The rain began to fall again, the thunder roared as the flashes of lightning faded, and Alex shouted over the maelstrom.  “I won’t let you hurt anyone, Carolyne!  I’ll protect Abraham!”

            The world dissolved, then, fading into the darkness around Shana.  As the ground gave Shana fell and was caught on the back of her Voice.  Together, they descended into the darkness.  Below, Shana could hear something, someone crying alone, pleading with the void, and she found Alex in the darkness, sobbing, and attended by a thing shaped like a woman and like a man, with three faces, two sexes, and a crown atop its head.

            Shana leapt from her Voice and landed heavily, conjuring in hand as she did.  The shapeless thing watched, and Alex remained cold and unresponsive.  The shapeless thing looked at Shana then, and Shana knew it immediately.  It said, This is her trial, and it is one she must face alone.  You cannot save her this time, Shana, no matter how much you want to.  All you can do it sit and wait.

            Shana nodded, and she settled beside Alex, hugging her close and waiting in the darkness.  She had waited nearly ten years for Alex to smile, and she was ready to wait another ten if necessary.

27: Volume Three: Bridges, Chapter Eleven: The Island part 3

Volume Three: Bridges

 

Oh, we burned those bridges,

Oh, and we forgot their names

 

Chapter Eleven: The Island, part three

 

            Shana sat in the dark, holding Alex and watching her sob.  After all of this time spent fighting, after every struggle and lesson learned, Shana felt useless.  For the past ten years she has done everything she could to drag Alex along after her, but in the moment when Alex needed her most, the best she could do was hold her and watch.

            It hurt, and it scalded, and worst still, Alex’s Voice watched, too.  As Shana understood it, a person’s Voice was a part of them, it was their soul, maybe a small fraction of them, but still one so vital.  She began glaring at Alex’s Voice, from time-to-time, mostly as something to do to pass the time.

            Her own Voice had helped her when lost, Shana remembered.  It guided her to Alex, helped her to help a friend, but Shana thought it was fitting that Alex wouldn’t be able to help herself, or at least wouldn’t want to.  Alex lived only for other people.  It could have been admirable, if it weren’t so sad.

            I want to help her, Alex’s Voice said suddenly, its tone shifting like the shadows.  But I can’t.  It isn’t my place.  This is something she must overcome herself before we can speak again.  She is at a distance from herself, fragmented and separated inside.  When the whole isn’t united, neither am I, and until she can achieve balance, she will be unable to access my true potential.

            Shana sighed.  She didn’t like it, but she figured the Voice was right.  Alex was strong, stronger than she realized, but Shana still worried.  A Voice, the projection of a person’s will, is intention made real.  It is difficult to harness that power when someone has no intentions of their own, when their own will has withered away.  The Voice, Shana realized, is no more capable of helping Alex than she is.  Both were impotent.

            So, she hugged Alex tighter and waited.  It was comforting to think that she could at least be there for her, and she hoped that somewhere in her nightmares, Alex could feel her warmth and know that even when she is alone, she’s never actually alone.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex stared at the ghostly image of her past, dark eyes wide with shock, small mouth parted as she begged for an explanation.  Her parents stood there, ineffectual shades staring at the body that was their eldest child.  Beyond rest Alicia, or what was Alicia, skin pale, tawny hair fanned about her.

            She was sitting up, back to the door, holding herself and sobbing still.  Blood ran where she bit her lips, but she hardly felt it.  Periodically, she wiped her tears away, but she couldn’t stop staring.  It had taken everything she had in her to look again, and it would take more to look away.

            “What’s going to happen to her now,” Alex asked, now a little girl, sobbing at her parent’s feet.  “What’s going to happen to me?”  She came near, staggering away from her parent’s statue-like stillness and toward her future self.  They looked very much the same, eyes bloodshot, bodies shaking.  They were the same, because they knew the truth but refused to accept it.

            Alex hugged herself tight and pretended like Shana was there.  She pretended that she felt the other woman’s warmth in the darkness and, when she blinked, she told herself Shana was there, just outside the door, waiting for her.  It was impossible, and she knew that, but it still gave her comfort.

            “Please,” the younger her asked, staggering by that point, fatigued by her sorrow.  “Please, tell me.  What is going on?  Why won’t you tell me?”

            “Leave me alone,” Alex whispered, hiding herself behind her hair.

            “What happened to my sister?”  The younger Alex grabbed the older Alex’s arm.  Her hands were small and weak, her fingers pale.  She tugged feebly, whined.  “Bring her back.  Bring her back to me!”

            “I said leave me alone!”  Alex pushed her away and turned her back now.  She closed her eyes and hid herself in her arms, and she took herself into the darkness by pushing everything out.  White walls, childish wails, cold bodies, she pushed it all away and embraced instead the void.  It was impossible to feel the pain, she told herself, if she didn’t feel anything at all.

            But she did feel.  She felt it all, and she couldn’t ignore it anymore.  Nothing stays buried, and she felt the tiny fists beating on her back, dull and slow, weak as a newborn, but there.  It cried in her ear and against her back, where she had carried it for so long, and it refused to be ignored anymore.

            In a fit of anger, Alex turned, and she shoved the little girl away.  “Shut! Up!  Just shut up!  Crying won’t help!  Crying won’t change anything at all!  She’s dead.  Dead!  And she’s not coming back!  You can beg, you can cry, you can kill yourself to follow after, and none of it matters.  She’s DEAD!”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Shana jerked awake.  At some point, she had fallen asleep around Alex, and she wasn’t sure when.  She felt tired and sore, eyes still half-lidded as she regarded the darkness around her. A shout had pulled her from sleep, from a dream of Voices and Emotions, from a world where nothing and everything was real, and when she found herself in shadows she realized it wasn’t a dream at all.

            Alex flailed beside her, cursing in the darkness in her slumber.  She swung at the air, swung at herself, and it took Shana to hold her and catches the blows.  Shana pinned Alex to the ground, wincing as a wild swing caught her in the face, and she ignored it and hugged her close.

            “It’s alright,” she whispered, gritting as she was struck again.  “It’s alright, Alex.  It’s okay.  I’m here.  I’m here with you.  So, it’s alright.”

            The Voices watched from the side, unmoving, impartial, as Alex sobbed and writhed.  As Alex eased, so did Shana, and she held her still and rubbed her back, and she let her cry.

            Three Gods approached, silent and critical.  I’ve always wandered, and I have to know, it said in a voice that married thunder and rain, Why are you always there for her?  Why do you help her so much?

            Shana smiled and wiped away the sweat from Alex’s forehead.  Alex eased in her grasp and settled more, her breathing growing regular.  “Because she’s my best friend,” she said after some time, “And because I love her.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex stared at the wall, silent.  She had turned her back on her little world again.  There was no point in looking.  She knew how the story ended, played it on repeat in her head and in her heart for the past ten years.  Whenever the tears came, she would just loop that moment over and over again until they stopped, and they had stopped.  There was now nothing left in her to cry out.  She was hollow.

            Little Alex joined her, squatted beside her and stared with the same glassy-eyed emptiness.  “Soon, I’ll be just like you,” she said after a long silence.  In that time no one cried.  For a moment, Alex felt not good but at least not bad, either.  When her younger self spoke, though, there was a pricking in the back of her head.  “I’ll be empty.”

            Alex scowled but didn’t look at her.  She stared, fixedly, at those damn white walls.  “I’m not empty,” she said, and when there was no response, she kept speaking.  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.  And you can’t just say things like that, things that aren’t true.”  When she turned to look, she found her younger self staring back at their parents.

            Their parents, or the specters of them, were fixed in place, frozen in a perpetual state of sorrow.  They wept crystal tears that didn’t fall, stood linked at the arms, slouched and ineffective.  Little Alex spoke, “It wasn’t that they didn’t understand, or that they didn’t love her like you did.  You lost a sister, but they lost a daughter, and they just didn’t know how to help.  At first, you were so wild, nothing but unbridled emotions while they were trying to mourn.  By the time they were recovered enough to help you along, though, you were emotionless.  It was too late for them help you along, because you were rooted in place.  You buried it all inside of you and kept it guarded by tantrums, tears, and quiet.”

            “Shut. Up.”

            “And you’re doing it again.”  Little Alex looked at her, straight ahead, glassy-eyed, empty, a perfect reflection.  “It’s the same thing over and over, you know.  Eternal.  Some people never change, and you never did, because you never wanted to.”

            “And who the hell do you think you are?  Sitting on your little throne, looking down on me like you aren’t a part of me!  But here you are!  And if you’re so damn perfect, if you have all the answers, then go ahead and take over! Change me!”  Alex fell into her knees, sobbing hard again.  “You don’t know anything.  You don’t know how hard life is.”

            “You’re right, I don’t.  I never will, because I’ll never be given a chance.  I’ll stay here, beaten down, stunted, swallowed and swallowed until all I am is a whisper in your ear, too faint to even be heard.”  Little Alex stood.  “Do you remember how to laugh, Alex?”

            Alex scowled at the floor.

            “Or do you remember how it feels to smile?  Or to love?  Do even know how to it feels to be sad anymore?”

            “Of course I do.  It’s all I know.”

            “No, Alex, you aren’t sad.  You cry.  Anyone can cry.  It’s just your body, though.  Tears don’t signify sadness.  They just signify tears, which can mean anything.  People cry for joy and, yes, sometimes in sorrow, but not you.  You cry from frustration or emptiness or because you’ve forgotten how to do anything else.”

            “I said shut up!”

            Alex turned, knocking the girl over again, and this time she pinned her down.  She swung, wildly, using her fists to hammer her tiny head into the ground.  “You! Think! You! Know! Me!”  Blood smeared her hands, smeared the floor, splattered across her face, but she kept swinging.  “But! You’re! All! Talk! No! Actions!”

            When she stopped and fell backward. The girl’s skull was broken bone and red blood.  Alex could hardly look at it and turned away to catch her breath.  She could smell the iron on the air.  The body watched her with one good eye, the other ruptured.  The bruises were already setting in.

            “Look at you,” it said, voice wet and raspy.  “You’ve almost done it, almost finished the job.  It’s taken you years, but you’ve nearly killed me off entirely.”

            Alex broke down into tears again, hugging herself more closely and trying to forget the smell of the blood in the air.  “Shut up!”

            “Does it hurt to see the real you?”

            “The real me?”  Alex sat back against the wall, staring at the dead body on the ground, at the dead body in the bed, at the dead bodies standing and crying forever.  “What was it Carolyne said?  I’m a zombie, dead but moving.”  She wiped her tears, smearing blood across her cheeks as she did.  “Is that what I am? Just a body.”

            Little Alex lied still, her head pooling across the floor.  She was small and broken, and Alex memorized every horrible detail.  At this point, she was collecting ghosts, but this one wouldn’t haunt only her.  It would break Shana’s heart and follow her to the grave.

            “I won’t let it happen,” she said, and she sniffed.  “I deserve whatever I get, but Shana deserves better.”  A deep breath, and Alex stood, jaw out, hands balled into bony fists.  “You can’t die,” she said, “Shana needs you.”

            “Is that all that matters to you?  Shana?  Is that all you live for?”

            “Isn’t it enough for now?”  Alex laughed ruefully.  “You said it yourself.  I’m empty, devoid of anything, but Shana...”  Alex stepped forward, scooped up the tiny broken thing and cradled it to her chest.  “No, it’s not fair.  I’ve been empty for so long, leeching life off of those around me, living through them, selfish to the core.  I’ve clung to Shana and used her to keep me going, pretending I was doing it for her and for Alicia but really, I was nothing but a burden to them.”

            “So?”

            “So, I don’t want to be empty anymore.”  She set the girl down on her feet and helped to keep her standing.  “Dying won’t help anyone, and it won’t solve the problem.  It just hurts the people I love.  Hurt Shana.  Maybe even leave her like me, and that won’t help, either.”

            Little Alex swayed unsteadily, held her older self to keep her steady.  “Then, what do you want?”

            “I want to live.  On my own, for me and myself, and for Shana, too, because of all she’s done for me. I owe her that much.”

            Little Alex smiled, and despite the damage done to her, it was a handsome smile. “That’s good to hear,” she said, her voice small but growing clear.  “It won’t be easy, though.  It will take more than resolve to do this, and once you start, you can’t stop.  If you make this decision, you’ll have to follow through.”

            Alex smirked self-consciously.  Isn’t that what life is about?  Besides, if I’m good at anything, it’s moving forward, even if I don’t have a destination in mind.  I just need a direction, and I’ll make it.  I’m sure.”

            “Then go toward the truth,” Little Alex said, pointing to the curtain and the specters.  “Own up to your past.”

            Alex looked ahead and halted.  She held her breath.  “Easy.  I’ve already done this one.”  She swallowed.  “This is just a repeat performance.”

            Another deep breath followed, and she hesitated.  Another deep breath, and doubts surfaced like flotsam after a storm.  It became a repeated pattern, swallowing doubts until they were buried so deep that they couldn’t stop her.  Then, she approached the curtain and put her hand against it.

            She looked at her parents, frozen in time, suspended by her own sorrow.  She looked at little Alex, battered, bruised, and half-dead but still standing in spite of it all.  She looked at herself, somehow, and saw who she was in the past, who she was in the present, and who she may become.  She breathed.  “I can do this.”

            The curtain rattled as she tugged it aside, and she found Alicia on the other side.  Years ago, Alicia was her sun, her moon, and all the stars in her sky.  She was everything Alex could ever want, everything Alex could ever hope to be, and time had changed her.  Alex was almost as tall as Alicia now, stockier in the shoulders.

            Even in death, Alicia was the most beautiful woman Alex ever met.  Her lips were plush, well-formed, her chin slightly pointed.  She was the princess Alex imagined in stories as a child, slumbering with tawny locks spread beneath her.  Her skin was pale as snow, and Alex stood, choked, holding the curtain tight for balance.

            “See,” she breathed after some time, “Not so hard.”  Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she wondered briefly if they were from frustration and decided it probably wasn’t a good sign that she didn’t know.  Time stood still, suspended, always suspended, and she didn’t feel any different.  The moment wasn’t at all like she hoped it would be.  Just an old memory.

            “This is stupid.” She started to turn but couldn’t release the curtain.  It had taken so much effort to get there.  “No, you’re just running.  Eyes open, move ahead.”  She stared at Alicia’s body, released the curtain to take her sister’s hand.  Alicia’s fingers were stiff and cold.

            Time passed and the room was still.  Alex held Alicia’s hand and stood by the bed, and she felt self-conscious.  Her parents were watching.  She was watching.  There were more tears, and she wiped them away.  By this point, the blood on her hands was dried.  She felt like she should say something but couldn’t think of the right words.  When she did, she finally said it all in a whisper.

            “I love you.”  It wasn’t the first time she had said it over the years, but it might have been the first time she meant it as a good thing, and from there the words poured out.  “I’m sure the whole world knows that already, but you know, sometimes it’s hard to admit.  Sometimes, I think that if I talk about you, you’ll be taken away from me again.”  Tears fell from her chin, landed on her hand.  She had to take a slow breath to keep from shaking.  “I think maybe that’s why I held it in for so long.  I wasn’t afraid of being hurt but, afraid that if I ever stopped hurting, I’d lose you over and over again.  Mom and dad, they would say—they told me that you were always alive inside of me, that you were in my memories, but what did that mean to a kid?  I was nine, and I was so young, and so stood, and I thought that meant I couldn’t stop being sad.

            “But that’s no excuse.  I never grew up because I never really knew how to.  After so many years of being sad, it became something like my natural state.  It became a part of me like my singing or...”  She smiled, slightly, and touched Alicia’s hair.  It was as soft as she remembered.  “The memories only made it hurt more, though, and deep down I knew it wasn’t right.  It’s an insult to your life to let your death be the only thing I hold onto.  I was just afraid to admit that because, every year, your laughter becomes harder to remember, and your voice...”  She closed her eyes.  “I don’t even remember what you sound like.”

            Silence fell like the night, and for the first time in ten years, Alex held nothing back.  She cried, and she cried, and it didn’t hurt.  She let it all wash over her, overwhelmed her, and she hugged Alicia tight to her, and she cried.  “I love you, Alicia.  I really do.  I love you, and I miss you.”

            “I miss you, too.”

            Alex went quiet.  She opened her eyes and found that the room was gone.  Now, she was at the graveyard.  There was a funeral in the distance, a crowd of people all in black, and a nine-year-old Alex among them with an eight-year-old Shana at her side, holding her hand, crying with her.  The people left one by one, and the two little girls stayed, staring at the freshly dug grave.  They wouldn’t stop crying until they fell asleep in the back of Alex’s parent’s car.

            Alicia was there with Alex, sitting beside her on the gravestone.  Her flesh had color to it, her cheeks a natural rose blush.  Her eyes were unclouded and her tawny hair fell about her shoulders like a curtain.  They were still holding hands, but her fingers were soft and warm now, and she smiled at Alex.  Looking into her eyes, Alex could almost see her sister standing in a field, wheat waist high, the sun setting behind her.

            “Alicia?  Are you—Are you real?”

            “Yes and no.  I’m a memory,” she said.  “That’s all that’s left of me now, but you already knew that.”

            “Yeah, I do.”  Alex wiped her eyes, but she didn’t let go of her sister’s hand.  “I guess hope springs eternal, huh?”

            “Right.”  Alicia gave a half-smirk.  “You’re looking good.  Tall.  A lot taller than I remember you being.  How long has it been again?”

            “About ten years, but if you’re just a memory, then shouldn’t you know what I know?”

            “You’re thinking too small, Alex.”  Alica’s memory nodded toward the funeral.  “You’re not the only person who ever new me.  People remember, and the world remembers, too.  We all existed together, connected by invisible threads.  When a person dies, their body goes back to the dirt, right?”

            Alex nodded.

            “Memories are the same way.  Everything has a place to go, and everything is eternal.”  She turned her smile back on Alex and lifted one leg to hug it to her chest.  “So, even if you forget, I’m never really forgotten.  Others will remember me and, when they die, the world will remember for them.  History will remember.  I existed, you know, and nothing can take that away from me.  Nothing in the cosmos has that sort of power, not even God.  Do you understand now?”

            “I think so.”  Alex sat beside the memory of her sister and found it smelled like lilacs, like her sister always did.  The voice was familiar, a touch high, and a bit like a bell.  It seemed so real, and as Alex dug her feet into the dirt, she smiled.  “Still, I don’t want to forget you.  I don’t want to go on without you.  And it’s not that I’m not strong enough.  I just really don’t want to lose you anymore than I have.”

            “That’s normal.”  Alicia’s memory reclined back, stretching her legs out, taking her hand away long enough to stretch her arms.  She let out a breath.  “But that’s what I’m getting at.  I’m not gone, and you’re never without me.  I was here, and that is never going to change.  The world will always remember me.”  She took Alex’s hands.  “And so will you.”

            “Even when I forget you’re always with me?”

            “Exactly,” Alicia’s memory said.  “And not like a ghost or anything like that, but in your blood, if you want to be literal.  We’re sisters, after all, and you’ve been crying a bit of me with you for the last ten years.  The rest?  We’ll leave that in your heart.”

            Alex rubbed her own arm self-consciously.  She felt warm now, and soft, like Alicia’s hand.  She allowed another smile.  “Thanks, Alicia, for the help.”

            “No problem.”  Alicia’s memory jumped from the gravestone.  “Now, listen, because here’s where it gets a bit heavy.  Everything else you’ve been doing, all the holding back, all the hurt, that’s got to stop.  You know it’s not the right way, and you know it’s not really living.”  She looked Alex in the eyes.  “You’re not the one who died, so why are you playing the part?”

            “I don’t know.”  Alex shrugged, stared at the ground.  “It just didn’t seem like there were any options left to me.  After you were gone, I didn’t know what to do with myself.”  She met the memory’s gaze again and found that its eyes were just like she remembered.  “I wanted to be you when I was younger, you know.  So, when you died, I didn’t have anyone to grow into.  I guess I just followed your example.”

            “No.  When you lose your way, you cut your own path.  Got that?”

            “Yeah.  I got it.”

            Alicia’s memory put a hand on her hip and tilted her head on one side.  “Then tell me that you’ll live your own life and make your own decisions.”

            “I will.  I’ll live my own life.  I’ll make my decisions.”

            “Good.”  Then, in perfect mimicry of the real Alicia, the memory took Alex’s face between her hands and stared her in the eyes.  “Now, mean it.”

            “I do.  I mean it.  I’ll carry on without you, and I’ll add more memories to the world.  I’ll finish the path you weren’t able to finish, I think.”

            “That’s a good answer, there.”  The memory smiled, and they watched the funeral end and the shades disperse.  “You’ve gotten taller, you know, but I think you’re grown in other ways.”

            “I don’t feel like I’ve grown at all.

            “You have. You’ve got a long way to go, but I think you’re on the right track.”  The memory looked up at the sky.  It was pale and the clouds were thin.  It was a sad day then, but the sun was coming.  “It’s been a long night, hasn’t it?”

            “Too long.”

            “But the dawn is soon.  I think it’s about time you get going.  There are people waiting for you.”

            “Wait.”  Alex took the memory’s hand.  “Can’t I say here with you for a little longer?”

            Alicia’s memory turned to look at her over the shoulder.  “Really, Alex, haven’t you learned anything yet?”

            “I have, but, just think of it as a good bye.  Just a little longer, please.  Even if you’re just a memory, you’re still my sister.”

            “No,” the memory said, sighing, and she embraced Alex.  It was warm and familiar and safe.  “I’m not.  I’m just a memory.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex woke in a field of flowers.  The sky above was clear and, in the distance, she could hear the shifting of the waves as they danced along the shoreline.  The flowers were in full bloom, bright, vibrant petals so beautiful and vivid that they seemed to glow.  The brightest among them, she noted, were the yellows and oranges.

            Shana was with her, holding her close and caressing her hair.  She had one hand under Alex’s head, cradling her.  When Alex opened her eyes Shana smiled, and they made eye contact.

            “Shana?”

            “You’re finally awake.”  Her tone was motherly and serene.  She helped Alex to sitting.  “Are you feeling okay?  It seemed like you were having a nightmare.”

            Alex hugged Shana and felt the familiar warmth.  It was the sunlight that surrounded her, the smell of flowers in spring.  It was everything good Alex knew, and it was there now.  They stood together, and Alex rubbed her eyes.  “I was,” she said, “But I think it’s over now.”

            “Good.”  Shana looked around them, at the field of the flowers, at the trees green with leaves, and the blue sky.  “What do we do now?”

            Alex shrugged, and she took Shana’s head and lead her back toward the forest.  “I guess we go look for Ellen and Abraham and we get out of here.”  They reached the beach and found a long, thin strip of land had appeared in the water.  It extended into the distant horizon, flanked on both sides by the shifting waters.  The girls made eye contact again.  “You ready?”

            “Am I ready?”  Shana released Alex’s grip and sprinted forward, setting foot on the land-bridge out of there before she turned to blow a raspberry.  “Just try and keep up.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            He stumbled out of the darkness, leaving his memories behind him.  Each foot fall stirred the dust where he appeared.  The walls were ancient brick, yellow in color and smoothed by time.  Enormous pillars rose around him, into the shadows above.  Statues of figures unknown to man lined the walls, bearing images of creatures the likes of which he had never seen nor could ever imagine.

            The air was dry and warm and hurt his chest to breath.  The bloody wound upon his chest burned, his chest hair matted against his flesh.  It was scarring already, aided by the energy of the Emotion itself.  It was shallow to begin with looked far worse than it felt.

            The shadows hadn’t done much but slowed him.  They gripped at him and held him, and they whispered doubts into his ears, but he would not fail again.  This was the second time Alex was allowed to live.  A third time could not come to pass.

            He growled and started toward the far wall, where a staircase led up.  From the air he produced a weapon, which was still forming as he began his ascent.

            This time, Goliath would not hold back.

28: Volume Three: Bridges, Chapter Twelve: Bringing Down the Bonegrinder

Chapter Twelve: Bridges, Bringing Down the

                                           O

                                        GriNder

                                              E

 

            The city disappeared into a vast, icy wasteland.  Cold winds cut deep, and they dropped their heads against them as the snow piled up around them.  Isaac gave his jacket to Ellen like a gentleman, and she hugged it tight to her torso as she kept one arm up and did her best to ignore the frosty bite of the cold.

            Isaac grew pale but didn’t seem to mind.  Periodically he stopped to breathe into his cupped palms, but the rigidity with which he moved showed Ellen who futile it all was.  These breaks never lasted long, and he wouldn’t allow her to stop, either.

            Ellen tripped and feel knee deep into the snow, and he was at her side to help her to standing.  She shouted into the wind as it tossed her hair about, “Isaac, I don’t know how much longer I can go on!”

            “Don’t think about it.  Just focus on moving.  As long as you do that, you’ll be able to move forward.”  His words were puffs of blue-white steam, but his smile after was the sun.  She didn’t believe him, but she trusted him enough to keep going anyway.

            As they moved forward, they stepped together for warmth.  He held her at the back, pushing her forward, and each step was synchronized.  Both kept their heads down, and whenever she felt too weak to keep going, he held her up.

            The blizzard died and the sun appeared beyond the clouds.  When they looked back the storm was gone altogether, and the snow glittered in the sunlight.  The air was cool and still, and it hurt to breathe, but it was better than the lashing winds.  They kept together still, requiring the shared warmth, and then parted as they kept moving.

            Ellen smiled at him.  It was all strange, too strange for her, but Isaac made her feel safe.  He was strong and clever, and he always seemed to put her first.  Looking at him, she sometimes believed they would make it home.

            They crested a hill that looked out on endless mountains and canyons.  Everything was snow-caped and dark blue beneath.  The air was cleaner here than any she had ever breathed before.  Ellen shook the frost from her hair.  “How long until the storm starts again, you think?”

            “I’m not sure.  It could be that we’re in the eye of the storm, but—It’s impossible to know anything about this damn place. If my father were here, I could ask him, but...He wouldn’t tell me.  He never tells me anything.”

            “Your father?”  Ellen swept her hair back and watched him.  He had gone rigid again, colder than the mountains.  Isaac was like that sometimes.  He was the sun and then, within a breath, he was a winter night.  At those times, she worried.  “Isaac?”

            She had blinked, and he was gone.  The mountains were gone, too, and the snow and the cold.  She was inside of a tomb made of golden stone stacked high on slanted walls.  She stood on a bridge, with another bridge above her and another below.  Shadows filled the spaces below and above her.  Dust dulled what light cast by lanterns bolted to the walls.

            She turned, as she always did, and hugged Isaac jacket tight.  It smelled like him, which was a comfort, but wasn’t enough to keep her safe.  There were entrances on either side of the bridge she stood on.  The air was musty and harsh on her lungs.  She looked over the railing and sighed.

            “Okay,” she said to the emptiness.  “Well,” she looked back where the mountains and been, or at least where she imagined them to have been, “I’m not going that way, so...”  She turned again.  “Maybe ahead?  Or maybe I should wait.”  She thought of Carolyne and started walking.  “At the very least I should find somewhere I can hide if I need to.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex and Shana walked hand-in-hand and ever forward.  They left the island behind them, venturing out onto a thin arm of dirt that stretched infinitely into the sea.  The sun was high and warm, but a breeze teased their hair and kept them cool.  The air smelled wet and salty.  Shana tired first, but Alex kept her head up and never stopped moving.

            The world shifted in an instant.  One minute they were enjoying the fresh sea air.  The next they choked in a musty temple.  The walls were wide but old, fashioned from a porous yellow stone and cut with ancient sigils of times long forgotten.  There was no breeze, hardly any air to breath at all, and the air was stagnant and flat.

            Their footsteps echoed.  The way before them a long, flat bridge, unevenly tiled and thick with dirt.  Everything was faded in color and somewhat dehydrated.  There was a darkened tunnel before them, a squared mouth opened to swallow them.  Behind them was a slanted wall.  Below them were bottomless shadows.  Alex leaned over the railing to stare and felt it shift slightly.  Part of the bannister crumbled in her hand.

            The bridge was sturdy enough they found.  They kept walking and eyed the draconic statues that lined the walls and the maidens between them, hands folded into cups and outstretched in offering.  They passed through one archway and into another room, another bridge, this one forking partway.

            Shana watched Alex as they moved.  She was different, changed by her experience.  On the surface, she was very much the same, except she wore her hair back.  When they spoke, she met Shana’s eyes now, and her shoulders were back and head up.  She looked ready to meet the world for the first time since Shana knew her.  It was strange to see, good, but a change, and Shana wondered where she would fit in the new Alex’s life.

            However she worried, Shana smiled.  Since childhood this was the Alex she had wanted to see, the one she had wanted to meet.  It was a good thing, different though it might be, Shana was sure of that.  Everyone changed as they entered adulthood, and Shana was still determined to love Alex and support her whatever happened.

            An uneven tile caught Shana’s foot and tripped her forward, and Alex was there to catch her.  They shared a smile.  “Sorry about that.”

            “It’s fine.  You okay?”

            “Yeah.” Shana kicked at the tile.  “Don’t worry, just clumsy.”

            Alex laughed.  “Sometimes.”  They stood straight and started walking again.  “Looks like we still have a long way to go.”

            “Yeah, but we’re together now, and that’s what’s important.”

            They walked until they reached the crossroads.  Another bridge stretched off, in a T formation, toward a nearer entrance.  They could see light and smell fresh air from there.  Standing in the entry way, chest bare and scarred, and stinking, always, of sweat, was Goliath.  He smiled when they saw him and flexed his hand.  A heavy golden rod appeared in the air and fell into his hands.  It was nearly twice the height of Alex.  “There you are.”

            Alex pulled Shana behind her and stepped forward.  A flash of light appeared around her right forearm and hardened into her bracer, which took the shape of her blade.  She glared.

            “And, as I expected, you’re still determined to fight me.”

            “I told Abraham that I would protect her, so I will protect her.  End of discussion.”

            A frown creased his face.  He looked older than she remembered and angrier, too.  “You can’t protect anyone if you’re dead.”

“You’re going to kill me either way, right?  So, I may as well fight.”

            Goliath took a deep breath and then shrugged.  He twisted his hands around his staff and fell into a wide stance.  To Alex, he appeared to a crouching beast of mythic origins.  His body was tight but fluid.  He rested the staff on his enormous shoulders.

            Alex looked back a Shana.  “You wait here while I take care of this guy.”

            “No,” Shana said, stepping forward.  Her Voice appeared in her hands forming, seemingly, from the air and from sound itself.  She mimicked Goliath’s stance as best she could.  It didn’t leave her looking so imposing, but she felt solid.

            “Shana!”

            “Alex, I’m here with you.  After everything we’ve been through, I’m finally here with you.  So, please, let me protect you.”

            Alex stared at Alex, in her eyes, and she laughed.  “Fine,” she said, shaking her head and looking at Goliath, and she was still smiling.  “We’re both idiots, huh?”

            “Maybe a little.”  Shana sized up Goliath.  She remembered him being taller than she and Alex standing on each other’s shoulders.  Looking at him face-to-face, she wasn’t sure that was wrong.   Alex took Shana’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Shana squeezed back.  “All for one?”

            “You protect me; I’ll protect you.”

            Alex led the charge.  With her blade ready she sprinted forward.  She knew, deep down, that it would end poorly but knew no other way to go.  Goliath was violence incarnate, and no matter what she did, he would win.  So, the only choice she had was the most obvious one: swing blindly and hope for the best.

            She lunged at his chest, blade straight and shining, but he knocked her aside with a flourish of his staff.  Using the momentum, Alex spun around on her heel and brought her blade around toward his neck.  He held firm in response, driving his staff vertically into the bridgework beneath him and stopped her.

            Withdrawing his staff, he stepped in and jabbed her in the stomach with the end of his staff.  The blow knocked the wind from her and sent her reeling.  She tumbled into the guard rail and fell into a fit of coughs, holding her stomach and doubled over.  He stopped beside her, staff up, and brought it down, only to be interrupted by Shana.

            Leaping through the air and wailing, Shana brought her hammer down on where Goliath was.  He heard he, though, and stepped away.  The tiles where he stood shattered into a hundred shards and scattered.  As she recovered, Goliath stepped back in, took her by the neck, and tossed her aside.

            Shana flew off the bridge, over the rail.  Before falling she grabbed hold of one of the bannisters, but her fingers were loosened by the inertia.  She slipped, slowly, and stared down into the waiting darkness.

            Alex sucked in a breath and pushed away.  She ducked under Goliath’s next swing and thrust at his ribs. He side-stepped again, took her by the arm, and held her in place while driving his bulky knee forward into her sternum.  Her chest exploded with pain and her knees turned to jelly.  Adrenaline was all that kept her moving.

            She staggered away, where she hoped to be out of reach, but was caught by the end of his staff.  Her right solar plexus throbbed as she swayed.  Another blow caught her in the left side and left her breathless again.  The world spun as she gasped.

            Another step, another strike, this one meant to force his staff through her chest and finish her.  Alex saw the movement in fine detail, his muscles flexing, the sweat beading across his flash.  She saw the fury in his eyes, and the reluctance, and she saw Shana slowly slipping away.  She was desperate, and she was overwhelmed, and she lifted her Voice to block him and felt it shift.

            The red and blue jewels on the front shifted place, the former pulling back toward her elbow, the latter moving into the fore.  The blade receded and fanned, forming into a shield with a maiden’s face and hands and a blue jewel sparkling at its center, which stopped the staff.

            Alex went tumbling and landed on her back.  She felt heavy, lungs burning, bones aching, and the battle had only just started.  Then there was Shana to consider.

            She sat up and watched Goliath’s approach.  He was sauntering now, a scowl on his face, and it gave her time to gather her breath and bring herself to standing.

            “A shield?”  He growled the world.

            “I have things to protect.”

            He grunted and leapt, and his strong legs carried him high and far.  At apex, Goliath had his staff overhead, and he brought it down on top of her.  Alex planted her feet and brought her new shield up to meet it, angling it slightly to the left.  Sparks flew as the staff slid away, imbedding itself in the floor while Alex winced from the impact.

            She didn’t have time to recover before Goliath attacked again.  He was graceless, lifting the staff one more time and bringing it down harder.  Again, Alex held her ground and let the staff slide off of her shield, but the blow was hard enough to leave her arms numb.  On his third attack, she rolled to the side, stopping on her shield face and kicking off of the railing so that she could slide across the bridge.

            The tile flooring before him turned to dust, Goliath turned.  He followed her, approaching as she stood and hit her hard in the gut with the end of his staff.  She was forced back into the railing, which she held to for dear life while the world spun around her.  The wind left her and brought up bile with it.  She vomited down her blouse as she fell to one knee.

            A horizontal swing meant for her head came in, wind whistling around it, and Alex ducked under.  She pushed back just as Goliath brought his staff back at her, and she had just enough time to heft up her shield before being hit hard.  Contact sounded like a gunshot and vibrated through her arm.  She flew back and tumbled nearly ten feet before coming to a stop on her back, lying limp and struggling for breath.

            Shana fell over the railing, onto her face.  She pulled herself back up in time to find Goliath stalking toward Alex and charged.  Leaping, like he did before her, she brought her Voice with her.  It spoke to her whispers from her soul, and she echoed them aloud.  Light poured from her hammer head and the air hummed.

            Thus He spoke, ‘The weight of the world shall crush you!’

            Heart Song grew heavy in her hands and hardened, too.  She could feel it change and put all of herself into the blow, swinging with thunderous force at Goliath’s skull.  He remembered her just in time to stop the blow, blocking with his staff, which folded on impact.  Shana landed, heavily in front of him and stumbled to a stop.  She admired her work before a tickle ran up her spine.

            Ignore my title, she said, the words warping reality around her, Dismiss my image; hear only my song!  Her Voice grew lighter now but remained hardened, the outer surface of it glossy and catching reflecting the light.  Spinning on her heel, brought it around toward his ribs.

            Goliath stepped and watched her hammer glide by.  He hooked the crown with his bent staff about her waist and turned his back on her, using the leverage to uproot her and toss her overhead.  She landed hard and came to a stop beside Alex momentarily breathless.

            When she stood, she found Goliath regarding his staff with a grimace.  He looked at her, tossed the weapon aside, and produced a whip from the air.  With one swift movement it unraveled, and with a twist of his wrist the tiles at his feet were sundered.

            He pulled back, the whip receding, and then snapped.  The whip lunged like a snake, slithering forward and slicing a stray hair inches from her face as she dodged to the side.  It fell slowly as it unraveled, not even touching the ground before he made another strike that narrowly missed.

            Shana sidestepped and watched a shadow beside her explode into a cloud of dust.  She staggered as the railing was cleaved apart.  Her legs felt weak and her body sluggish.  Years of academics had not readied her for a fight for her life.  Another snap and the whip looked like a tide of woven leather.  It slowed, and she watched the wrinkles form and stretch as it surged toward her.

            Blood splashed across the tile and a scream echoed in the void.

            Alex opened her eyes and pushed through the pain.  Goliath had caught Shana on the left leg, tearing her pants and her flesh in one move.  She was left kneeling and holding her wound as he flicked his wrist.  The whip retreated and returned, and she watched its approach with fatalistic fascination.  This one would catch her across the face, possibly even part her head in two.

            Never stray from your path.  Never lose hope.

            Alex blocked Shana, her shield gleaming.  The whip made contact and came apart.  Light washed over them both as Alex turned to Shana and touched her shoulder, and warmth spread through them.  Their wounds mended and, as Shana stood, Alex smiled.

            The whip frayed, tearing at the center and lashing back at Goliath.  A shallow gash formed across Goliath’s arm, leaving a trail of blood across his hairy forearms and dribbling from his knuckles.  Before him, Alex stood, worn and fierce, Shana at her side.  From how it looked to him, Alex was not only resolved to finish the battle, but she seemed resolved to win it.

            Goliath roared, stomping a foot in his rage as he tossed the whip aside.  His eyes bulged; his face grew red.  He screamed, “Why? Every time I knock you down, you get back up again.  Why do you insist on fighting so damn hard?”

            “Because I have promises to keep.”

            Alex charged now, leading with her shield.  He bled, and that made him human, but it didn’t make him weak.  If she wanted to win, then she would have to close distance fast and land a killing blow before he could respond.  She got within his reach but couldn’t strike before being struck.  He brought his fist down from above, knocking her shield aside with his first blow and then striking her across the face with his other palm.

            She folded, collapsing under his brutal force.  Blood splattered across the floor and across her torso.  He positioned himself above her, punching again, and this time knock her into the tile.  She swayed, wheezing, as he kicked her in the side.  She rolled into the nearby railing, which fractured on impact.  There, he pinned her in place with his foot.

            “Damn you!  You’re too weak even to fight.  Too weak to keep these empty promises you are going on about!”

            Appearing from his side, Shana stepped in and took a blind swing at Goliath’s head.  He caught her hammer just under the weighted head and used it to lift her in the air and flipped her, slamming her down hard against the tilework of the bridge.  Contact knocked the air from her lungs, and his big foot came stomping down to keep the air out of her.  He applied pressure to hold her there, and she clawed weakly at his ankle while she wheezed.

            “Look here, Alexandra!  This is what happens when you’re weak!”  Goliath ground his foot into Shana’s chest as he shouted.  “She tried to save you, and she couldn’t.  She fought as hard as she could and achieved nothing but being stopped.  Look at what happens when weak little things try so hard to keep their promises, when the strongest thing about them are the promises themselves.

            “You have nothing, and you can protect nothing.  You can’t help anyone because you can’t even help yourself.  Your promises are soft in the face of solid opposition.”  Goliath forced a whine from Shana’s throat as her arms went limp against him.  For a moment, he regarded her with pity, and then he bared his teeth in a violent grimace.  “This was a mistake.  It was all a mistake.  You never should have come here.”

            Alex was up.  Driven by Shana’s cries, she lunged forward, her broken body by carried by little more than adrenaline.  The air was charged around her, whistling in her ear.  Goliath caught her with his foot and sent her flying back with a harsh step.  The railing caught her, but only just barely, cracking under her weight.  There she slouched, and Goliath stepped over Shana’s body to reach her.

            Again, Alex met him with a thrust.  Her movements were sluggish and wide.  He let the attack slide past him and met her with a knee to the stomach.  Alex stumbled back, giving a wide, clumsy swing, which he stopped with one hand.  Catching her by the forearm, he grabbed her by the back of the head with his free hand and spun her about, bringing her face-first through the railing.  She hung over the edge, blood oozing out of her mouth and gathering in her hair.

            The world blurred.  Staring over the edge of the bridge, Alex watched droplets of her own blood fall into the infinite abyss below.  To her, it looked like the jaws of death waiting, gaping and hungry.  It didn’t matter.  None of it mattered.  Life was meaningless, born dying from the start, it was just another broken promise she was never meant to keep.

            Goliath flipped her with his foot and stared down into her bloodshot, empty eyes.  She was bloody and bruised, her hair matted to her forehead, her skin bruised and broken.  Blood and saliva oozed from her open mouth and every strained breath made her shudder.  He lifted his foot and hovered it just above her head, poised to crush her skull, and then he dropped it to the ground somberly beside her. 

He kneeled. “Do your promises mean this much to you?  Are they worth dying for?  Worth suffering and fighting for, even in the face of inevitable and crushing defeat?”

            Alex wheezed.  With one last burst of energy she lunged at him.  Goliath deflected easily, slapping her hand away without even breaking eye contact.  He hit her in the chest in the same movement and knocked her back down.  She slid backward, to the edge of the broken railing, and felt the stonework give slightly before she coughed up more blood onto her shirt.

            His eyes narrowed.  “Just answer me before I kill you.”

            “Yes,” Alex said.  Words were hard for her to find and even harder to form, but she struggled through each one.  “Yes.  My promises mean that much to me.  They mean the world.  They’re all I’ve got left.”  She coughed again, a deep wet cough that left her chin red, and then she forced herself up onto her elbows.  Her arms were like lead, heavy and dull, but she was driven by a dire resolve.  “They’re why I keep getting up.  They’re why I’ll always get up.  Power is nothing but a tool, and if you don’t have a reason to use it, then what’s the point?  Sometimes, a promise is all you need.”

            Goliath eyed her in quiet reverie.  The air was still, silent save for the labored breaths of both Alex and Shana.  His expression had softened to stoic interest.  “And so even if you did somehow, by some miracle, kill me and went on to Abel, a man many times my superior, you would still fight?  You would die?”

            Alex winced.  She supported her weight with one arm while using the other to nurse her tender side.  “Yes,” she said, “I would.  I would fight harder and harder, harder than I am fighting now, harder than you could ever know.  I would fight and fight, and I would die, but as long as I am breathing, then I will keep moving.  I may not know where I am going, and I definitely don’t know how I am going to get there, but I am not ready to quit yet.  I won’t.

            “Now, it’s my turn for a question.  Is power all that really matters to you?  Is that why you really follow him, because he is stronger than you?  You don’t value him, his goals, his ambitions? You just want his power?”

            “I don’t want his power.”  Goliath’s heavy brow knitted.  “He is stronger than me.  He defeated me and so I followed him.  The weak follow the strong, and the strong dictate the weak.  That is the way of the world.  That is nature.”

            “That’s what you say, but you’re stronger than me, and I don’t follow you.”  Alex looked past Goliath, to Shana at rest on her back.  “I may not be strong, but I have people around me, people who need me, and they keep me going.”

            Goliath shook his head.  “Ridiculous,” he said, but he watched Alex struggle to her feet.  She used the railing for balance but fell when it gave out.  Half of her body tumbled over the side.  She caught herself with one hand and slowly worked her way to her knees.  Then, grunting, brought herself up to one foot.  “You are ridiculous.”

            “Call me whatever you want,” Alex said, and she stared him in the eyes.  It was hard to see her eyes through the curtain of dark hair swept over her face, but it was easy to see her resolve.  She shifted her weight to crouch and then stood with a grunt.  “But you can’t keep me down.”

            He frowned, watching her, as she raised her hand.  Her Voice had lost substance, seemed nearly transparent, but as she drew a deep breath it solidified.  Like an illusion made real, he blinked, and it was there, tangible and solid.  “It’s strange,” he said, standing now, towering over her.  “I could kill you.  I could crush your head with a single flex of my fingers, but I stay my hand.”

            Alex stared back at him in sullen silence.  She had her Voice in front of her but held her side still.  She wasn’t steady on her feet.

            Goliath laughed.  “It is impossible to think, but maybe you are right.  Maybe there is more to life than the pursuit of power or submission to those who already have it.”  His smile faded.  He looked solemn as he scratched his beard thoughtfully.  “Rather, maybe there is more to strength than power.  Maybe there is something to be said about fighting, even when you’re weak.”

            “What are you saying?  Are we done then?”

            Goliath opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words.  Long, infinite seconds passed as he contemplated.  When he spoke, he did so with great care.  “I don’t know where I come from or why I am here.  When I woke up, I was lost in the Emotion.  Time isn’t right here—I don’t know how long I’ve been here or how long I waited—I forgot myself.  When I met Abel, all I knew how to do was be strong, and when he proved himself stronger…

            “You woke something inside of me, something I had lost before I had ever met that man.  I need to think on that.  I need to remember.”

            “And what about your mission to kill me?”

            Goliath shrugged.  “When I’m done thinking, if I’ve reached the same conclusion, then I will hunt you down and kill you, and hopefully that will be enough to see me forgiven.  But, I can’t in good consciousness kill you now with all of these doubts eating at me.”

            “What if he doesn’t forgive you?”

            “Then I will die for my mistakes.”  Goliath smirked and then laughed again.  “I thought you were so stubborn, you know, but you were right to a degree.  The fact that you fought me even when I overpowered you, that I couldn’t keep you down despite all of my strength.”  He sighed.  “Life and the meaning of it.  I haven’t thought about that for…It feels like a lifetime.  This place, it steals things away from you, cuts and cuts at you until you’re nothing but the one thing, and then you fixate on that, afraid that it will go away, too.  It becomes you, and when I met him, I was blind to everything else.  You’ve opened my eyes.”  He smiled down at her again.  “Good luck, Alex.  I sincerely hope that we never meet again.”

            Alex nodded and held her breath.  Slowly, she released it, breathing through the pain.  Her head felt light.  She saw brief spots before him as she gathered herself.  Eying his big back retreating, she called to him, and he turned back to her.  “I have one more question before you go: you said you don’t remember how you got here, but do you have any idea how to get home?”

            Goliath scratched the back of his head.  He opened his mouth to answer but the words never came.  A figure dropped from the shadows behind him, and then a thin blade appeared from his chest, accompanied by a flat fan of blood.  Goliath looked down in shock and when the blade retreated fell to his knees.  He swayed, gurgled, and fell forward, revealing Carolyne behind him.

            A monstrous smile was painted on her boyish face.  Her eyes were wide and teeth bared like a wild animal.  Pinching her fingers along the flat of the blade, she gathered the blood and shook it off as she crooned in her madness.  “Finally,” she said, her aura hard and sharp.  She looked an incarnate of the hungry abyss below as she lifted her blade and angled the fine tip at Alex’s heart.  A single droplet of blood leapt from the tip as Carolyne rested one foot atop Goliath’s massive, lifeless frame.  “Your turn.”

29: Volume Three: Bridges, Chapter Thirteen: Bridges, the Crossing

Chapter Thirteen: Bridges, the Crossing

 

            Alex couldn’t believe that it was Carolyne whom she was looking at.  They locked eyes, and Alex didn’t see the eyes of the woman she had given herself to.  At some point, a bloodied monster with a soul as black as hell had crawled into Carlyne’s skin and emptied her out.  Now, looking into Carolyne’s eyes, all Alex saw was murder.

            Using the railing to brace herself, Alex stayed up.  Her legs were weak; her head rang.  Breathes came in wheezing pants.  From time-to-time her vision blurred, but she wasn’t sure what caused that.  Movement hurt, and she coughed hard until she found blood in her palms, but she stood still, and she glared across at Carolyne, who returned her gaze with the hungry look of a rabid lioness. Carolyne stepped over Goliath now, waving her blade in front of her in play.

            “He was listening,” Alex said, her voice rough and raw.  She tried to stand on her own but couldn’t and immediately returned to the railing for support.

            Carolyne shrugged.  “I’m sure he was, but I don’t care.  I wanted to kill him, so I did.”

            “Wanted to?”  Alex shouted and then fell into a coughing fit.  She held her chest and swallowed something thick.

            “Yes,” Carolyne said, coming to a stop a few feet away.  “And he is only the first on a long list.”  She trained her Voice on Alex again.  “You. Are. Next.”

            “Why?”  Alex asked, but she could see the demon in Carolyne’s eyes.  It was in need of blood and had sacrifices in mind.  Alex would have to fight Carolyne again, and this time she would have to win.  She swallowed her pain and stood on her own.

            Carolyne saw Alex’s resolve and laughed.  Pacing a small circle, she waved her blade around her like a child at play.  She was small and fast, but Alex had size on her.  Alex knew this, and she watched Carolyne carefully, looking for an opening.  Even with size as an advantage, Alex wasn’t sure she could win.  Carolyne had two other important advantages—Alex was exhausted, and Alex also wasn’t a murderer.  The fight with Goliath was a fight to live and to bring her friends home.  To beat Carolyne, Alex would have to kill.

            Alex’s legs quaked, but she held.  She stared across at Carolyne, ignoring her small encroaching form and the threat of her blade.  “I asked you a question, Carolyne.  Why? Why do you want to kill me?”

            Carolyne stopped.  She stared Alex in the eyes and looked dead, hollow, entirely without human compassion or empathy.  Behind her hate, behind the monster inside of her, there was nothing at all.  “You’re holding me back,” she said.  “Restraining me, keeping me from my true potential, and I can’t stand it anymore.  I am meant to be something, to grow and blossom into something powerful, beautiful, something so much more than what I was stuck in Sadieville.  Something so much more than what I am now, but you’ve been keeping me from it.  Memories of you…”  A scowl distorted her face and sharpened her features.  She looked hideous, wicked, and violent.  The beast bared its fangs.  “I won’t allow it!  I won’t let anyone hold me back anymore!  I don’t care if it’s a traitorous fuck like him!”  She stabbed absently at the corpse behind her.  “Or if it’s you.  I will remove all obstacles.”

            Alex’s voice caught.  She whispered Carolyne’s name.

            “Enough!  I refuse to waste any more time talking to a cadaver.”

            They met.  Carolyne closed distance with a single, graceful lunge, floating across the bridge with her blade leading.  Alex’s reaction was clumsy.  She brought her arm up just in time to parry, sparks flying as their Voices collide.  Carolyne’s rapier slid across the surface of Alex’s blade and severed the railing beside them.

            Carolyne spun and thrust behind her.  Alex blocked but hadn’t the footing to hold.  She was knocked backward and had to seize the railing to keep herself standing.  Another thrust followed, this one made from the front and meant for Alex’s head.  Alex sidestepped but could hear the air whistle as the rapier clipped her dark hair.

            Alex landed face first on the ground, her legs giving for a few crucial seconds.  She gathered her breath and got to her knees, pushing up from there and using the momentum to take a wide, aimless swing for Carolyne’s torso.  Carolyne ducked under and lunged, using her legs to put all the force of her tiny frame behind the attack.  A cold prick of steel teased Alex’s side and released a flood of pain through her.  Blood followed, spilling down her waist.

            She screamed and, feeling weak, staggered away.  A thin, red trail of ribbon followed her movements and gathered at her feet.  She sweated and slipped, catching herself just before hitting the ground.  Whatever was hurt, it made it hard for her breathe.

            Carolyne laughed while following Alex closely.  Her movements were slow and coy; her eyes were full of hate.  She was small, much smaller than Alex, but in that moment,  she seemed far more dangerous.  She was a vision of feral, wolf-like hunger made real.  Smirking, she brought her blade up and lunged.  They met, Alex was barely able to block and was left reeling.  She clung tightly to the railing beside her to remain standing and followed Carolyne’s movements with her eyes.

            “You’re weak, Alexandra, too weak!”  Carolyne swung, quick and precise, and barely missed the fleeing Alex.  The pillar where Alex had been clinging was sliced clean in two.  It slid out of place and fell into the infinite darkness below.

            Alex’s legs gave out.  She caught herself by her arm as she came to a halt on the cold tiles of the bridge.  She felt heavy, and it was hard to breathe.  Each exhale was a rasp, and every inhale burned.  She thought about Abraham, and she thought about Shana, but none of it could bring her back to her feet.

            She imagined Shana in front of her, a pool of blood surrounding her, shaped like a star beneath her pale body.  Organs gleaming, exposed from her stomach, her face soft, white, and tranquil, and she saw Abraham beside her, bloodless, headless.  A short distance away she saw a skull wrapped in black hair and rotting pale flesh.  It stared at her with glossy, black marbles.  Alex had lost.

            Carolyne stopped, smiling, her features darker with each passing moment.  Her rapier gleamed in her hand, fresh blood gathered at its edge.  Alex knew the difference between them, and it was their intent.  Carolyne was a killer.  Maybe she always had been, maybe Goliath was just a way to get her feet wet.

            Shana stirred in the distance, waking slowly and sitting up.  Carolyne saw her, and her smile sharpened.  Her Voice began to glow.

            Pricking acanthi, strike from shadows and poison the soul.

            “Move” Alex whispered to herself, watching what Carolyne watched, willing her body into action.  “Move!”

            It was adrenaline that finally moved her.  Her body ached and it fought her all the way, but Alex fought harder.  She was up and in front of Shana in the space of a breath.  There, she planted her feet and turned.  Her Voice changed in a flash of gleaming, liquid steel.  A shield formed, the maiden’s gem taking the dragon’s place at the fore.  Alex lifted it high enough to cover her torso, and then she felt each needle that entered her body.

            Every nerve in Alex’s body flared to life with pulsing pain.  Shining spiritual needles were spread across her lower torso and imbedded across her legs and thighs.  There were too many to count, like she was overstuffed.  A few were fixed into her arms as well and scattered across her left shoulder, but the bulk of her upper torso was safe.  The shield was fine.

            Alex’s vision blurred, and her Voice blurred with it.  She wheezed, and the air continued to feel like fire in her lungs.  She felt the blood leaving her in what felt like gushing gallons, and Carolyne allowed no time for recovery.  Her little feet carried her swiftly across the battlefield.  She lunged, and Alex braced for impact.  The air grew tight, like a river passing through the eye of a needle. 

            Pushed to the edge of existence and sinking into the void!

            Time froze.  Alex didn’t see it happen.  She hardly even felt it.  Her vision blurred again, and then it blacked.  She took a strained breath and looked down, and as she came to, she found Carolyne’s blade had passed through her shield, through her arm, and pierced her chest.  At that moment, she exhaled, and all of the heat left her body.

            Three Gods exploded into particles of light.  Carolyne’s Voice slid free, wet and thin.  Alex looked up, her right arm now limp at her side, and she looked upon Carolyne standing in rapturous glory, and she, Alex, felt nothing at all.  There were no regrets, nothing to resolve, not even any pain.  All she felt was a growing numbness that started in her digits and worked inward.

            She thought of Alicia, and then she collapsed.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Shana watched Alex collapse, her body a limp mass of pale limbs.  The needles that covered half her body vanished into wisps of smoky light.  Shana’s body moved of its own accord, her mind being too shocked to send orders.  With one hand she caught Alex’s bloody body.  With the other, she summoned her Voice and swung wide.  Carolyne leapt away wearing a vicious smile.

            After that, Shana screamed.  She intended to cry but couldn’t produce tears.  It wasn’t pain that she felt.  It was horror.  Losing Alex was like losing her heart.  Alex had always been there, and now she was gone.  The change was sudden, too sudden for her to process.  She held Alex tight in her arms, refusing to let her go, and she glared at Carolyne.

            “What,” Carolyne asked silkily, pinching her finger and thumb against the flat of her thin blade and wiping the blood off.  “Do you want to join her?”

            Shana took a shuddering breath and laid Alex to rest on the bridge.  Crossing her arms over her chest and closing the empty eyes, Shana stood, lifting Heart Song as she did.  She stared at Caorlyne again, and this time she didn’t see the girl with whom she constantly vied for Alex’s attention.  She didn’t even see an animal.  As far as Shana concerned, Carolyne was a walking corpse.

            She charged, hammer in hand, and gave a high, wild swing meant to take off Carolyne’s head.  The attack was surprisingly swift and hit with meteoric force.  Carolyne lifted her blade just in time to block but couldn’t hold her ground.  She was staggered, her stance broken.  Shana spun, using the momentum to swing again.  Carolyne avoided the attack, which crashed into the bridge and crumbled the floor, dropping small chunks of stone into the gaping abyss below.

            Carolyne staggered to a stop and ducked low.  She meant to lunge at Shana but hadn’t the time to respond.  Shana was an elemental force driven by rage and loss, and Carolyne before she could attack, Shana was already pressing her.  Shana stepped in with her hammer level and lunged first, driving the head of the hammer into Carolyne’s side.  Carolyne blocked the attack by angling her blade to catch the hammers crown with its flat edge.  She reinforced it with her palm but didn’t have the strength to hold.  Her tiny body was sent flying backward into the railing at the edge of the bridge.  Blood oozed from the shallow gash across her palm.

            Shana allowed no time think.  She swung again, meaning to remove Carolyne’s head.  The blow missed by a few inches and sent a nearby pillar spiraling off into the distant wall.  Carolyne dropped low and, instead of taking her opening, ran.  She moved as fast as her unsteady legs to would allow and put distance between herself and her enemy.

            Finally, Shana stopped.  She bowed her head and drew a deep breath.  Her mind cleared, opened to the angry, mournful whale song of her Voice.  It washed over her, words spreading through her and forming on her lips.  She leaped into the air as she repeated them.

            All stars in heaven, hear my call, and fall upon this world in a storm of light!

            A brilliant surrounded her as she spun in the air.  Her Voice carried her higher and a whale’s crooning filled the empty air.  At apex, she swung her hammer in a flourish and then brought the light down.  A sphere descended and, from within that sphere, a series of small, translucent daggers appeared.  They spread away from her like ships at sea leaving port, leaving a fluorescent trail in their wake and, each spiraling and drifting gracefully through the air, they all rained down on Carolyne.

            Carolyne had stopped to watch but now resumed her movement.  She didn’t run, and she kept no formal pattern.  Instead, she danced between them, hopping from point to point and avoiding the gleaming shards where they settled like the snow.  She blocked one with her blade and it erupted with enough force to throw her to the ground and send her sliding.

            She sat up just in time to find Shana closing distance again, and she was to her feet just in time to receive the next attack.  Again, she braced herself for it, stabbing her rapier into the ground and putting her shoulder against the flat of it for support.  She was determined to hold this time, but the hammer hit too hard.  Carolyne went tumbling into the nearby railing, which gave this time under her momentum.  A smear of blood followed along the ground after her.

            Switching hands, Carolyne stabbed the stonework again just as she was halfway off the bridge.  She held with one foot and one hand, the rest of her body hanging over the darkness.  Blood ran down her left arm, which felt both numb and somehow poorly fitted to her body.  It appeared mangled to her, the muscle and bone at an odd angle with her shoulder, and it made her sick to even see it.

            She pulled herself back onto the bridge and found Shana waiting breathless but unrelenting.  Carolyne found the look of the other woman to be frightening and, in truth, more like herself than like the Shana she knew and hated.  Carolyne was a killer, it was true, but she feared that Shana would soon steal the title from her.

            Carolyne lifted her left hand and pressed it, open palm, into a nearby pillar.  Once steadied, she leaned into it hard and felt a sharp pain go through her spine and settle, cold and sick, in her stomach.  With a crack and a curse, she felt her arm slide back into place, and then she stood and lifted her blade once more. 

She stared across the bridge to Shana, and she smiled.  “Now, where were we?”

 

: Bridges :

 

On a far wall, standing atop a long forgotten, stone crafted idol, two figures watched the battle unfold.  One with dark skin and long grey hair, the other small and stout and pale with dark hair and dark eyes.  The tall one stood straight with his shoulders squared and his hands folded behind his back.  He watched with intense interest and unwavering focus.  The other, a woman, was crouched beside him and hugging herself tightly.  She did not care for what she saw.

“This is horrible,” the woman, Carla, said.  “They’re going to kill each other.”

“Yes.” Crest smiled. “They will.  It is the only way that this can end.”

Carla looked up at him.  “Are you telling me that one of them has to die?”

“Obviously.  Do you really think that girl will let her friend’s death pass so easily?”  He shrugged.  “As it stands now, she is going to rampage until she destroys Carolyne utterly.  It doesn’t matter, though, Carolyne never meant much to the master.”

Carla frowned and returned her focus to the bridge.  She watched them trade blows.  Carolyne struggled.  “But she’s one of us.”

“She doesn’t matter.  Master is in meditation.  The plan has come along too far to stop now.”  Crest cast a sideways glance at her and let his smile fade.  “Unless,” he said as if in contemplation, “Unless they somehow find a way to free the lady.”

Carla balled her fists until her knuckles went wide.  Her frown deepened.  “But we’ve worked so hard,” she said. “We’ve sacrificed so much.”

Crest gave another shrug and wore a mask of indifference.  “Then the best way to stop them is to stop them now, it seems.”

“How?”

“Help Carolyne.”

“Crest, I can’t—I won’t do that.  If I augment her now, with how unstable her emotions are,” her hands began to shake, she gripped herself so tightly, “If I did that, then she might lose control of herself and become lost to the power.”

“And if you don’t, she will die.”  Crest turned her back on it.  “Either way, I don’t care much.  If Carolyne dies, then I kill the girl. Carolyne lives, then she kills the girl.  Either way, that girl will have to die for the plan.  I just assumed you would want to save one life if you could.”

Carla scowled as she watched Carolyne duck and falter, a lost soul in desperate need of saving.  “Fine,” she said, her breath hard and showing her disapproval.  “I get what you’re saying, and I’ll do it, but I’ll need silence.”

Crest touched her shoulder.  Even through his gloves, his fingers were cold and made the hair on neck stand on end.  He leaned down and whispered to her, “You do what you must.”  Then, he disappeared into the shadows.

Alone, Carla pushed him out of her thoughts.  She cleared her mind first and created a place for Carolyne to be.  Eyes closed, she sat with her legs crossed and back straight.  Three long breaths followed, and she opened her eyes to watch Carolyne again, watch Carolyne attack, watch her retreat, watch her brace against the railing and twist.  Carolyne screamed, and Carla began to speak.

“Strength.”

 

: Bridges :

 

Strength.

Carolyne stood stiff, her blade at her side.  It was hard to breathe, and it was even harder to move.  Shana’s attacks were ruthless and relentless, and Carolyne just didn’t have the strength to stand up against them.

Power.

She widened her stance and raised her rapier, training the sharpened tip on Shana’s chest.  Running was no longer an option, not after Alex died, and surrender wouldn’t work either.  Shana wanted blood.  She wanted death, and Carolyne was no different.  Goliath died by her hand.  So did Alex.  She wanted Shana, too.

Might.

Shana stopped.  A change came over Carolyne, one so prominent that it cleaved through Shana’s rage and struck her in the gut.  She watched Carolyne’s muscles tighten, watched her eyes narrow, watched her focus shift.  She watched the bloodstained rapier drift slightly before finding its mark and moving toward it.  When Carolyne moved, she moved like lightning.  Shana could barely raise her weapon to meet the thrust, and she only just barely managed to deflect the second strike that followed.

Force.

Shana shouted.  A third attack had clipped her side and cut clean through.  She stumbled away with a large trail of blood following.  As she retreated, she gave a wild swing backward, one that Carolyne danced around before pricking Shana again.  It was a shallow thrust that landed just above her left breast.  A ribbon of blood was left across the railing.

Shana retreated slowly, struggling to keep stable footing.  Carolyne moved with her, striking with increasing alacrity and precision.  Shana was still stronger, but she couldn’t land a hit.  She gritted her teeth and strained to follow Carolyne’s movements, but she always swung where Carolyne was, not where she would be.

Conversely, Carolyne kept low to the ground.  She ducked under blows or simply went around them, and she put her weight behind each thrust.   She threw herself into combat, showing reckless abandon as she thrust, over and over again, for Shana’s heart.

Shana swung for the legs and planned her next move before it hit.  Once she had Carolyne grounded, she would bring her hammer down on the other woman’s head.  Then, she would attend to Alex’s wounds however she could.

Potency.

Carolyne stopped and stabbed her blade into the ground.  Shana’s hammer hit and did nothing.  Using her continuing momentum, Carolyne flipped over her weapon and landed on the other side, pulling it from the ground after her and driving the hilt into Shana’s breastbone.  Shana fell, landing beside Alex’s corpse, and when she looked up, she found Carolyne standing over her.

A savage smile parted Carolyne’s lips.  Her teeth her fang-like, her eyes that of a rabid wolf.  “Look at you,” she said in her growing mania.  “Look at you two!  Even in death, you refuse to be apart.”  She scowled.  “Pathetic.”

“Shut up.”

Ferocity.

“Worms.  You’re worms.  You’re just a bunch of worms beneath my fucking feet! You’re not fit to be in the Emotion.  You’re not even fit for the fucking Earth.  You’re scum.  You’re just fucking scum, and so was she!”

“I told you to shut up!”

“And now, now I’m going to cleanse the earth of you.  Wipe away all trace of you!”  She threw her head back and laughed a high, wild laugh.  She wasn’t Carolyne anymore.  Now, she was power, wild and unrestrained, and it wore Carolyne’s face.  “I’m going to show you what true potential is.  I’m going to give you a good fucking example of perfection!”  Her eyes went wide while her body convulsed.  “Watch closely!”

The wind rose.  The air grew tense and warm.  Sparks danced across Carolyne’s arm.  Brilliant flashes of light appeared in the darkness and faded just as suddenly.  Carolyne glowed.  Suspended by a phantom force, her small body was lifted into the air.  Energy, raw energy, flowed from her in great crashing waves that washed over Shana.

Carolyne released her Voice and let it float freely before her.  She kept her arms extended, holding them at her side, her fingers spread like wings.  Blurred green lights appeared, mingling with the darkness, sizzling as they faded.

Shana covered her eyes and held her stomach.  She felt weak, and she felt nauseous, and she knew also that death was near.  Fear hit her like a punch to the throat.  She shook and crawled over Alex’s lifeless body, holding her close.  She wasn’t ready to die and had her whole life in front of her, but she felt some comfort in knowing that they would be together.  Briefly, she wondered what heaven would be like.

O’ Morning Star!  Be our Guide into the pits of Hell.  Sear our flesh! Melt our bone! Burn away our souls!

 

: Bridges :

 

It was just a pinch, and then it was nothing.  The world went white, and then it went black, and then it was nothing at all.  Void followed, a vast emptiness beyond sunshine and shadows.  There she felt nothing, and there she wanted for nothing.  Oblivion greeted her, and even that was fleeting.

Her senses died one by one.  There was buzzing, then silence, and then the absence of sound.  Touch faded next, and then taste, and smell.  Soon, she wasn’t even a body.  She became a soul, her mind hazy and uncertain.

She asked herself, her empty, incorporeal self, where she should go.  She wondered if there were promises to keep.  She was tired, though, too tired to go any further, too tired for the struggles that would be waiting to test her, too tired for the promises that she would inevitably make.  There were shadows where she died, deep shadows with a bottomless hunger.  She fell into them.  She embraced them.

Then, she heard a call.  It was like a shout but softer, but it persisted inside of her.  Like an itch at the back of her throat, except she had no throat.  It wasn’t a promise, and it wasn’t a sound, but it echoed inside of her all the same, over and over again.  It became an anthem, repeating eternally like a stone skipping across water and the ripples that followed.

Shana was in danger, and Alex was needed.

 

: Bridges :

 

Light spilled off of Carolyne’s suspended body.  Every wall, every crevice in the room was illuminated by her power.  Even the bottomless pit below revealed its secrets to the world to the world, though Carolyne shown so bright that it distracted anyone who would notice.  Carla, horrified by what she had done, watched in silent, awed terror from her idol perch.

Shana, kneeled on the bridge, shielded her eyes from the light.  She was crouched over Alex’s lifeless body, protecting her with her own life.  The tables had turned, and now there was nothing left that Shana could do but pray and wait for death.  From where she was, Shana thought that her death seemed tragic but also beautiful.

Alex remained cold and pale.  The blood beneath her had pooled and darkened.  Small incisions were left across her body.  One thin, deep puncture wound was pressed into her chest.  Her lips were stained and cracked, her face bruised.  She already had the appearance of a corpse and a decaying one at that.

Then, Alex moved.

Her left index finger twitched, curling ever so slightly.  Then, it went flat.  She pushed herself to standing, ripping her body from Shana’s grasp.  From Carolyne’s perspective, so high in the air, Alex was an ant resurrected, waiting to be squashed after surviving the magnifying glass.  From Shana’s perspective, Alex was the dead risen.  She sat back and watched in stomach-twisting rapture as her best friend came back to life.

Alex moved sluggishly, a puppet on loose wires.  Her eyes remained dark and glossy.  Shana didn’t know if she should be relieved or horrified and decided to wait and find out.  Alex’s arms flashed.  Liquid steel appeared in the air and took the form of a shield, a blue gem held by a maiden at its center.

She fixed her glass-like eyes on Carolyne, floating above.  Then, crouching slightly, she leapt with all her might and took off into the air with a loud grunt.  She sailed on the wind, a dark figure cutting through the light.  Her body cast a long shadow that swelled along the walls, growing larger the closer she got to Carolyne.

Carolyne adjusted her aim, directing her Voice toward a familiar target—Alex.  Light flowed and shifted around her, cascading like a river and gather at the tip of her blade, dew on a leaf.  There it bloomed and swelled in a searing flash.

-Alex lifted her shield and entered the downpour of light.  It parted around her, barreling into the bridge and into the wall beyond her.  Shana watched as the light ate away at the stonework, eroding it as sure as time.  She sat stiff, dust and smoke filling the room, afraid to move, afraid to be caught up in the growing chaos.

The light grew brighter than the sun.  It speared the shield and spilled off harmlessly around Alex, who kept climbing through the air, her momentum growing against the friction.  Carolyne took hold of her rapier and the anger swelled inside of her tiny little chest.  She had thought Alex dead, and she was resolved now to make it true.

When the light faded Alex had passed through unarmed.  Carolyne trained her weapon on her enemy’s throat and prepared to kill her for a second time.  She smiled, knowing from experience that she shield would not hold.  She saw the scratches across the surface of the shield, saw where the light had eaten away at the shining gemstone, saw the shimmering fragments of light still imbedded in the spiritual steel.

Alex extended her arm on the way and directed her balled fist toward Carolyne’s blade point.  The shield shifted like liquid, the steel surging forward into a flattened, blade-like form.  The red and blue jeweled turned, circling each other, and came to rest in union, sharing their place upon Alex’s forearm.  They shined like twin stars, their lights competing against each other and merging where they met.

They met, blade first, and their souls collided.  The air around them hardened.  It was the briefest of moments, followed immediately by a resolution, but to them it stretched on for a lifetime.  Carolyne’s Voice, so loud but so hollow, splintered and collapsed.  Alex was carried through, the momentum sending her blade first into Carolyne’s tiny chest and then upward through the ceiling.  They passed through the brickwork like a cannon blast and disappeared from Shana’s view.

They erupted into another room, reached apex, and then landed hard a short distance from their entry point.  They came apart on impact, tumbling across the floor.  Alex rolled into a wall and came to a hard stop.  Carolyne slid, face-down, to a halt.

Light filled Alex, who wondered if she was finally dead.  She opened her eyes and found herself at rest on her back beside a lake.  She was lying in knee-high grass that swayed with the breeze, appearing to her almost like endless rows of wheat.  The air was clear, and so was the sky.  When she sat up, she saw a forest of pines, oaks, and ashes on the far shore.  Turning, she saw more behind her.

She stood.  A cabin was nearby, rustic and made with loving care from logs and effort.  She could tell from the fine details, the frayed wood, the small imperfections, that it was built by amateur hands.  It was rough but deeply loved, and it stood, stalwart against the silence, complete and alone.

Alex climbed to the cabin’s deck and stopped at the front door.  It had a screen door inside, unlocked and open.  She peeked inside and found a polished interior.  A small, old couch was tucked against a wall to her left, a tiny homemade coffee table at rest before it, a miniscule fireplace was cut into the far wall.  The room was warm, welcoming, but empty.  Prolonged exposure drained the warmth from it.

Carolyne was at rest on the couch, and she looked bored.  She sat with her legs crossed and leaning back, staring at the far wall.

“Carolyne?”  Alex spoke in a whisper.  Carolyne looked at her and nodded, and Alex entered the cabin.

“Alexandra.”  Her tone was not unfriendly.

Alex closed the door behind her and took in the room.  It felt larger inside.  Windows were set into the walls and showed her outside.  There were two doorways leading out of the room, one into a kitchen which Alex could see, one which Alex could not see.  “What’s going on? I thought you killed me.”

“So did I,” said Carolyne.  “Apparently, we were wrong.”

Alex nodded.  She walked the room and settled beside Carolyne on the couch.  She tucked her hair back before making eye contact with the other woman.  “Apparently,” she said.  “So, no more fighting?”

“I guess not.”  Carolyne sighed.  “What’s the point of fighting when you’re already dead?”

“Dead?”  Alex stared at Carolyne and realized she was talking to a dead person, and she felt silly for being so surprised.  Death didn’t seem to hold too much meaning in the Emotion.  Alex had died a few times already.

They sat together in silence, staring at the wall.  The warm light that filled the room was offset by the empty cold that permeated the wood.  Carolyne crossed her arms and held herself.  She seemed contemplative and, as usual, irritated.

Alex leaned forward to peek into the other room and found a small bed inside.  The bed was made up with a thick quilt tucked in around the mattress and sunlight framing it.  A closet was built into the wall that she could see, and a hand-wrought bench was at rest at the foot of the bed.  The house interior was larger than she thought, but it felt somehow small and suffocating to her.  She felt unwelcome.  Sitting back, Alex hugged one of her legs to her chest.  Carolyne broke the silence.

“My grandfather,” she said, “He spent the last ten years of his life working on this place.  Week after week, year after year, he’d come up to the lake and bleed over this damn thing.  Then, as soon as he finished, he bought the farm.”  She let out a half-chuckle, an empty breath meant to punctuate the sentence.  “So much work, so much effort, and all for nothing.  I decided,” and her voice wavered.  She took a deep breath.  “I decided that I wouldn’t live like that, and that I sure as hell wouldn’t die like that.  I wouldn’t waste my life on something without purpose.”  She turned to Alex and looked her in the eyes, and Alex saw that she was crying.  “I won’t let it end this way.  I won’t be forgotten.  I won’t just die and fade away like him.  I refuse.  I deserve more.”

Alex sighed and leaned forward to stare at the ground.  She saw her reflection in the glossy finish.  “Maybe, just maybe, Carolyne, this is actually what’s best for you.”

“No!”  Carolyne, and she stomped her feet, and she waved her arms at the air, beating at the empty space and swinging at the inconvenience of it all.  “No,” she said again, calming.  Hate still seized her voice, but it made her sound flat and faraway.  “No.  I am meant for something more, for something greater.  I had the potential, you know, the potential to be something, to be anything.”

She turned away from Alex and walked to the center of the room.  Then, she lifted her gaze and fixed it on the open doorway leading out of the cabin.  “It’s time for me to go.”  She walked to the doorway and stopped at its threshold.  The warm exterior light spilled in and cast a glowing, golden blanket over her body.  It did nothing to warm her features.  She looked back at Alex.  “There’s still so much to be done.  Goodbye, Alex.”

When she stepped through the doorway, she was gone.

Alex blinked back tears and soon lost herself in a flash of light.  The room faded.  She found herself somewhere else, lost in another memory.  The horizon was on fire just over the hills and the trees.  She stood in a field of wheat as tall as her ribs.  A slender woman stood beside her, a slender woman with long tawny hair and eyes like the sky.  “It will be okay,” said a voice on the wind, warm and reassuring.  Alex’s chest became weightless and so did the rest of her.

            “Alicia? Is that you?”

            “You’ve got to keep on living.”  The voice was faint in Alex’s ear, and it was sad.  “I love you, Alex, and I always will, but I’m not ready to see you yet.  You have to keep going for me, okay?”

            “I will.”  Alex leaned forward, arms open to embrace the other woman, but it was too late.  The woman faded in her arms.  Alex whined.  “No.  No, please, no, come back!”

            “I can’t go with you.”

            Alex sprinted through the field, trampling the wheat as she moved.  She led with her open arms as a child might.  It was warm for autumn, she remembered.  “Sometimes,” she said, “I feel so weak, like I can barely breathe, like I don’t deserve to.  Alicia, I’ve fallen so many times, I’m beginning to think…”

            She heard a sigh on the wind, warm and familiar, and it brought a sardonic smile to her face.  “Now, now, don’t you go saying that.  You’re a sweet girl, and you can be strong if you need to be.  And you will need to be.  Sometimes you fall.  Everyone does.  So, if you ever feel too weak, just remember that you’re not alone.  You have friends.  You have Shana.  Rely on her when your legs give out.  Do whatever you have to, just don’t quit standing up, okay?”

            Alex was quiet.

            “Alex, tell me you understand.  Tell me that you believe me.”

            “I understand,” Alex said after a great and heavy sigh.  “I believe you.”

            “Now mean it.”

            Alex allowed a smile, even through her tears.  “I understand,” she said.  “I believe.”

            “Good girl.”  The voice had grown proud but distant.  “Now, I really do have to go.”

            “Now?”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “I know,” Alex said, and she wiped her eyes.  “Goodbye.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Ellen walked endlessly.  She climbed infinite steps, passing empty corridors that led only to shadows and, sometimes, when she followed them, nothing.  Isaac was gone and, without him, she was lost and half-expecting to find Carolyne hiding somewhere among the ruins.

            After what felt like hours, she saw a small spike of sunlight stabbing deep into the darkened heart of the ruin interior.  She followed it through a short, dusty entryway and up another set of narrow stairs, rounded and cracked with age, where she came out at another set of stairs, one leading up toward the light and the other down into the darkness.

            She chose the light and made a short climb to a large, rectangular room with a high ceiling.  The roof was open and midday light brightened illuminated the floor.  A clear, blue sky smiled down at her.  Pillars lined the wall, forming a smaller rectangle within the room.  Huge murals were engraved in the walls.  They showed great and terrible battle, and many bore deep, long gashes that obscured their features to her.

            She walked the room until she saw a hole in the floor and Carolyne lying a few feet away from it.  To her, Carolyne looked very much the same, only pale and, upon closer inspection, dead.  A large, red wound was opened upon her chest.  She was curled up like an infant at rest.  Alex was a few feet away, her back to a wall, her body pale, bruised, and bloody, but she was breathing.  For a moment, Ellen thought she saw someone beside her, a woman wrapped in a cloak of yellow sunlight, with long beautiful hair that hung nearly to her waist, but when Ellen blinked the figure was gone.

            Ellen went to Alex’s side and kneeled beside her.  She touched her shoulder gently and shook her awake, whispering her name as she did.  There were tears in Ellen’s eyes.  Alex stirred and, blinking, eyes glossy and distant, she whispered, “Alicia?”

            Ellen tilted her head to the side.  “No, Alex, no.  It’s me, Ellen.  Are you okay?”

            Alex looked Ellen over and sighed.  Her body seemed to sag, but only for a moment, and then she surprised Ellen with an embrace.  Ellen held her after gathering herself.  “I’m fine,” Alex said.  “It’s good to see you.”

            “You, too.”  They parted, and Ellen looked away from Alex and toward Carolyne.  “What happened to,” and her words died when she found nothing.  Carolyne was gone without even a droplet of blood to remember her by.  Ellen searched the room and, finding them alone, went silent.

            “A lot has happened.”  Alex stood.  “I don’t really want to talk about it.” Footsteps echoed up a set of nearby stairs.  Ellen put herself behind Alex and peeked over her shoulder.  Alex positioned herself purposefully between Ellen and the stairway.  “Stay behind me,” she said.  “I’ll protect you.”  Ellen pinned her back to the wall.

            Shana appeared, limping out of the stairwell and dragging herself toward them.  Like Alex, her injuries drew Ellen’s attention, but none of them were bad enough to garner lingering concern.  She and Alex met and held each other.  “Alex,” she said, her voice choked and soft.  “Alex, are you okay?”

            Alex moved Shana, repositioning her body so that she could support her.  “I’m fine,” she said, and she looked Shana over.  Her eyes lingered on the small lacerations that were evenly spread across Shana’s torso and limbs, once minute puncture marks and now dried blood.  “What about you? What happened?”

            “After Carolyne stabbed you…”

            “Don’t talk about that,” Alex said.  She stared into the distance.  “I don’t really want to think about it.”

            Shana stared into Alex’s eyes for a moment.  A few seconds passed before Alex returned her attention on Shana who, seeing her like that, merely said, “Okay,” and followed Alex to Ellen’s side.  With Ellen’s aid, Shana was put against the wall and slid into a seated position.  She smiled weakly at them as they moved her.  “Where did she go?”

            “I’m not sure,” Alex said.  “Here, let me help you.”  She closed her eyes and summoned her Voice.  Spiritual steel formed from the air, appearing as a shield, and Alex put her hand to Shana’s wounds.  Shine bright as the moon.  O’halo, do protect.

            Shana winced and then relaxed.  A warm breath passed over her and, when Alex removed her hands, Shana’s wound was gone.  Alex repeated the process, passing her hand over different wounds and knitting them together with a touch.  Shana lifted her eyebrows and smiled.  “And when did you learn to do that?”

            Alex shrugged.  “I don’t know,” she said.  “I just can now.  You know how these things work.  The soul tells us how to do it, and then we do it.”  Shana nodded, and Alex helped her to standing.  Her Voice faded then, disappearing into the light.  “I think Abraham is nearby.  I felt her when we first arrived.  We’ve got Ellen, and now we’ve got you, so we just need to get her, and then we can go home.”

            “Do you think we’ll find her,” Ellen asked.  She was still against the wall, and she was still scared, but having Alex and Shana close by made things better.  She thought of Isaac and decided that wherever he was, he would be okay on his own.

            Alex nodded.  “Yeah,” she said, and she smiled at them both.  Color was returning to her skin.  She turned toward the doorway set into the far wall.  “Come on, you two, let’s go finish this.”  She took Shana by the hand while Ellen stood and the three of them set out together.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Isaac woke on a bridge, his body awash with sunlight.  He heard life all around him.  Water trickled.  The wind stirred trees.  People passed him, speaking in a tongue he didn’t understand.  Cars honked and rolled by, spilling exhaust that stifled the air.  He opened his eyes slowly and found himself at rest on a white stone bridge, on his back, watching the clouds drift by.  Ellen was nowhere to be seen.

30: Volume Three: Bridges, Chapter Fiveteen: Inside of the Iron HEaRt

Chapter Fifteen: Inside of the Iron HEaRt

 

            The bridge stretched out behind them, long and black.  They stood before the cathedral at the far end of the bridge, black stones laid around them in rows.  Age showed in the smooth, roundness of the stones.  Grooves were worn in by time.  Gothic railing ran the length of the bridge.  Large arches held the bridge aloft in the eroded canyon.

            Pointed rooftops speared the horizon.  A set of enormous doors frown at them from ahead.  They were noticeably thick and stood slightly ajar.  The sky was dull and grey, and the light filtered through it.  It was Deidra’s shell blocking out the sunlight and draining the color from everything within it.  Things that were black were made deeper black.  Everything else was muted.

            The air was thick and suffocating, possessing a somberness that permeated even the stonework.  Alex felt it acutely, while Ellen had only a tickle of it in her spine.  Beneath it all, Alex could feel something else.  In the dense air, buried beneath the decades of hopeless oppression, she could feel Abraham.  It was a faint spark but specific, and it felt to her like the Emotion itself.  Alex realized then the truth in Deidra and Cornelius’ words.

            Alex took a step forward to prove that she could.  Then she looked back at Ellen.  “I can feel her inside,” she said.  “Come on, let’s go.”

            “She’s in there?”

            Alex nodded.  “She is, I’m sure of it.”  She turned back to the cathedral and smiled.  “And she’s waiting for us.”  Looking back at Ellen, she found her staring.  It was a strange reversal for them, Alex smiling and leading the way while Ellen trailed behind.  “Let’s not keep her waiting.”

            Ellen nodded and followed.  They walked together in silence, the sound of their footsteps their only company.  Alex was distracted, focused on other things, her mind fixed on the empty grey atmosphere.  Deidra was everywhere and overwhelming her senses.  Even when she felt Abraham, she only just barely felt her. Walking there made her feel blind.

            She dug through the cathedral interior with her soul and filtered out other distinctive presences.  There were others there with Abraham, but she couldn’t place them.  They had no faces for her, only intentions.  Abraham she knew, though she felt her only very faintly, and what she felt was bound by some invisible force.  There was also the force that bound her, quiet and gentle, but possessive a power in certainty and conviction.  Stronger than that, and struggling against Deidra’s overriding oppression, was a last presence composed entirely of hunger and hatred and completely empty underneath.  The emptiness is what frightened her most.

            Ellen stopped to look over the edge of the bridge and found canyon floor barren and dusty.  She gripped the railing so as not to fall over, and swallowed, and then she looked ahead.  The cathedral stared back at her, its towering spires looking almost like teeth.  She couldn’t feel what Alex could feel, nor could she understand the circumstances that brought her here.  Alex said that they had started this journey together, and while it had made Ellen feel good for a time, the more she thought on it, the less accurate it felt.

            Alex stopped to look back at her.  They stood together in silence, Ellen staring now at her feet while Alex watched her.  “Hey, Ellen, what’s wrong? We’re almost there.”

            “I,” Ellen shifted her feet as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.  “I’m sorry that I got you involved in all of this, Alex.  If I weren’t so stupid, I never would have brought Abraham back with me, and then none of this would have happened.  You wouldn’t be here.  Shana wouldn’t be here, and Carolyne…”

            “Ellen? No.  No, what are you talking about? None of this is your fault.”

            “It’s all my fault!  I was acting like a damn child, finding a puppy and dragging it home for someone else to take care of.”

            “Ellen,” Alex sighed.  “Listen, Abraham wouldn’t have been safer anywhere else, and as for Carolyne, well, she made her bed.  I chose to protect Abraham myself, just like I chose to come here.  No one else made those decisions for me, and though it’s been tough—really tough—I think I’m better for it.  I think I’ve grown a bit, and I’ve needed to grow for some time.  We’re almost at the end now, so don’t give up on me just yet.”

            Ellen choked and leaned into the rail for support.  Her sobs were hard enough to leave her shaking.  She kept at it until Alex joined her, and then she tensed.  Standing tall, a few inches above Alex, she fell into the smaller woman’s embrace.  Alex rubbed Ellen’s back and soothed her while she sobbed.  It was the last thing either of them expected to happen, but Ellen was grateful for it all the same.

            They stayed together under that gray sky until Ellen settled.  When they had first met, Ellen didn’t understand why Alex seemed so sad all the time, and she never really believed that they could be real friends.  It was, to her, a struggle to even try, but like Alex, she was better for the struggle.  Alex made her better and now supported her in this dark moment, and for that, she was glad for the struggle.

            Alex patted Ellen on the head and looked her in the eyes.  “You okay now?”

            Ellen, sniffling and rubbing her nose, nodded.  “I think so.  I can go, at least.”

            “Then come on.  We’ve kept her waiting long enough.”

            Another nod, and Ellen said, “Okay,” and she followed Alex forward.

            They stopped, side-by-side, before the double-doors.  From where they stood, the cathedral towered over them, an imposing form of dark stone that shrouded them in shadow.  A large stained-glass window hung over head.  Alex saw in it the image of an avenging angel bound by brambles.  Ellen thought she saw someone through it.

            The doors were parted slightly, and Alex peeked in through the crack.  Pews lined the ground floor with large stone pillars between them.  A winding staircase led up on one side, where a second floor hung over the first.  Red light spilled out from above, obscured by the railing.  Inside, Alex could feel Abraham’s presence more acutely, like it was only just barely contained.

            Ellen, at Alex’s side, said, “She’s in there.”

            Alex nodded, distracted.  She could see something out of the corner of her eye, but whenever she looked toward it, it disappeared.  Something teased her ear, like a whisper only softer.  She thought it might be the wind, but it was persistent.  She stood straight.  “Uh, yeah, she is, I think.”

            Ellen tried to smile, but she didn’t wear it well.  She still felt out of place there.  “Then let’s go!”  She stepped forward, through the door, and felt a tingle in her spine.  Turning, she found Alex backed against the door and staring out, back across the bridge.  Looking past Alex, Ellen saw nothing.

            “Get away.  Go!”  Alex swung at the air.  She had tears in her eyes.

            “Alex? Alex! What’s wrong?”

            “I said go!”  Alex gave a wide swing that only just narrowly missed Ellen, who stumbled away.

            Ellen fell backward and landed inside of the cathedral, dust kicking up around her.  She watched Alex staggering toward her, eyes wide in a frenzy.  Pushing up, Ellen used a pillar for support as she got to her feet and scrambled deeper inside to escape Alex’s sudden pursuit.

            The door groaned and collapsed inward with a sudden flash, and Alex stood then at the threshold.  Her Voice was there, its blade gleaming in the dim light that chased her.  She glared into the cathedral, into the dust that rose around her, and fixed her gaze upon Ellen hiding among the pews.

            “Alex?”  Ellen peeked over the pews.  She had her hands up but knew that they would do nothing to stop her rampaging friend.  “Alex, what’s wrong with you? What is going on with you all of the sudden?”

            Alex growled and swung.  The air roared and, in a flash of light, the pew behind Ellen exploded into pieces.  Ellen ducked down to avoid the splinters and landed face-down on the cold stones of the floor.  Looking under the pews, she found Alex approaching, gasping and crying in her fury.  It reminded Ellen of Carolyne stalking toward her with the power of death held tightly in her hand.

            Alex stared at her opponent, his large body at rest on the ground, soaked in blood.  She had left him with a gash across his broad, hairy chest.  It should have been the end of it, but he sneered as he rose to meet her.

            Behind her was Shana, bloodied and bruised, limping at her.  She held one arm which had nearly been ripped from her body.  Blood dribbled from her fractured nose.  She shuffled swiftly in an attempt to keep pace with Alex.  They were walking together when Goliath had appeared.  Shana made a charge, but he dismissed her with a single blow.

            This time, Alex took the lead.  She charged him and lunged, but Goliath side-stepped the attack.  He taunted her as he moved, goaded her as he danced around her.  She spun around and called on her Voice.  In a blaze of light one of the pillars was sliced in two.

            Goliath fell but stared up at her, confident, as she put her foot to his chest.  She poised her blade for his throat.  He had died once, but it didn’t stick.  Staring into his eyes, she saw the malevolence in them.  This time, he wouldn’t listen.  Despite this, she still hesitated.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex stood over Ellen, her blade inches from Ellen’s throat.  They both panted from exertion, Ellen crying, pleading, begging for sanctuary against Alex’s uncompromising, empty stare.  Ellen stared up the gleaming silver length of Alex’s Voice and knew that she could die, that she would die, if Alex wasn’t stop.  Her gaze darted from corner to corner, searching even the shadows for answer, but there was nothing.  The walls watched stoically, and here she would die without meaning and without anyone to remember him.  She fixed her gaze on Alex’s dark, hollow eyes and didn’t see her friend inside.

            They stayed like this for a few long moments, Alex shaking, her blade a hair’s length from Ellen’s flesh.  Then, she winced and grimaced, a curse sounding under her breath.  Lifting her blade, she swiped the air and stormed away screaming.  “Damn it! Why can’t I? Why can’t I do this?”  She sliced a nearby pew in half and let the pieces collapse onto the dusty floor while Ellen shuffled away on her hands and knees.

            Ellen took refuge behind a nearby pillar and watched Alex flail aimlessly at the air.

            “Why wouldn’t you listen?” Alex turned, her eyes fixed once more on Ellen kneeling behind the pillar.  “Why do you have to keep coming at me? Why do you have to keep fighting us? Why?”

            Ellen stood slowly on weak knees.  “Alex, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            “Just stay way!  Stay away from us! If you insist on fighting, then I won’t hold back anymore.”

            Ellen stumbled away, retreating back into the shadow of the overhang.  There, she turned and ran, tripping on the way before she reached the winding staircase and hitting her knee.  Blood seeped from the fresh wound, and she had to sit back and yell before scrambling back to her feet.

            Looking over her shoulder, she saw Alex standing in the silence and staring at the ground.  Ellen let out a shallow breath and stumbled toward the stairs.  Pain shot up her spine with every step.  Seizing the handrail, she pulled herself up the stairs in a hurry and hoped that Alex couldn’t follow.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex stood at the cathedral’s center, fractured pews scattered around her, some still baring fresh, smoldering wounds from her spiritual power expressed.  Her Voice was at her side, gleaming faintly with waning heat.  The brace about her wrist caught the dim light cast by the torches and reflected it back.

            Goliath laid bloodied before her, his body cradled between the broken husk of a pew.  She didn’t remember killing him but saw no one else around who could have.  There was a large gash cut across his body.  Blood pooled around his enormous form, seeping into the stonework and making a long, circuitous pattern around him.  It beaded in the hair of his chest.  His eyes were open, pale and blank, his empty gaze fixed on her.

            She cried but didn’t understand why.  He was the one who had died, not her, nor someone close to her.  She wiped her eyes and released her Voice, allowing it to disappear in a dazzling display of light, and she stared at the body, her shoulders sagging, her hair in her eyes.  Once, he had been alive, but she had changed that, turned him to a pale imitation of life, the warmth faded and the skin grown waxy.

            It was hard to breathe.  She braced against a nearby pillar and vomited.  Her throat burned.  She stayed bent, panting and sobbing, wiping her mouth free of saliva and mucus, and she spit out her remaining bile.  The taste stuck on her tongue.  She looked at Goliath again, shuddered, and then turned away.

            She walked until she tripped, stumbled over another body.  Looking down, she found Carolyne at her feet, or what remained of her.  The body was similar to that of her friend’s, the hair similar in color, but she was ripped down the center, her entrails cold and dark between the two severed halves.  They pumped lethargically, the life ebbing from them.  Alex’s feet felt wet and cold.

            Staggering away, she caught herself against the pillar and held tight to it as her body was wracked with shivers.  She stammered, staring at Carolyne’s sundered corpse, blood splattered like a halo around it.  Using the pillar for support, Alex sunk down to her knees.  She wanted to look away, but she could not.  She whispered to herself, soothing as best she could, as she reached forward with a pale, shaking hand.  Blood ran now from her fingertips, from her knees.  She stopped to regard her hands, bloody and warm.  Alex scrubbed at her palms, rubbed them against the stonework and against her pants, but it just smeared the blood around.  She gave a renewed sob.  “Oh no.  Oh God.  What have I done? No, no, no, no, no.”

            She stood and ran for the door.  The air stunk now of old blood and rotted flesh.  She stopped at the door, now held shut by a more terrifying image still.  Three bodies were suspended along the door by long, thin metal spikes.  To the left was a pale body with slender limbs and long, long tawny hair.  The spikes were run through the throat, shoulders, and guts.  Two more were worked in through the wrists.  The waves of the hair were parted and clumped by dried blood.

            From the right door hung the unmistakable form of Shana.  Wearing the tattered pajamas, stained by blood and violence, that carried her through the Emotion, she was suspended by a large metal rod rammed through the core of her, between her partially exposed breasts and right through the breastbone.  Two more spikes supported her at the shoulders, and two more were worked into her waist, through the hip bone.

            Between them, suspended slightly lower and almost within reach, was a small body still dripping blood.  It had dark hair and pale skin, eyes like enormous marbles, black and empty as they watched Alex without judgment, without life.  There were too many spears worked into this body to count at a glance.  It looked to Alex like a human pin cushion, and she recognized it only on instinct.

            Alex fell to her knees, sobbing and gasping, screaming when she got the air.  Her screams were the wounded wail of a lonely animal, of a lost child, of a survivor resenting their own survival.  When oxygen ran thin, she fell into writhing gasps that forced convulsions on her body before collapsing onto her back and staring at the ceiling, alone.

            The sky opened.  Shadows parted long enough for a flash to fill the room.  Glass shattered, the stained shards landing around her, bouncing and shimmering like chromatic diamonds.  A shadow passed over her and landed hard beside her.  Alex leapt to her feet on instinct and rolled to the side.  She fell hard into a pew but hardly felt it as the body came into view.  It was long-legged and very pretty.  Blood and glass had gathered in its blond hair, and as its head lulled toward her, she could see bruising across the pale, dead face.  Its teeth were knocked in.  Its skull was split open.

            Alex wheezed.  Looking around at her failure, she found all the bodies watching her.  Her voice evaporated inside of her as she sunk down and stared ahead, gaze fixed on the far wall, the rest of her world dissolving into periphery.  She sat there, surrounded by the bodies of friends and enemies whom she had been unable to save.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Ellen wheezed as she stumbled up the stairs.  They seemed to be never ending, and her injuries only made the climb worse.  Adrenaline carried her, though, as did the fear of being caught by Alex in this manic state her friend was in.  From where she was, Ellen could see the cathedral’s second floor and swore it was no closer than when she had started climbing.  She gripped the handrailing and stared up at the ceiling, however, refusing to look back down.

            Alex was on the first floor, screaming and crying in a corner that Ellen couldn’t see.  She sounded awful, so awful that Ellen hesitated.  This hesitation died in the memory of Alex’s uncompromising dark eyes and the violence she was capable of.  She remembered the way Alex’s blade gleamed.

            Ellen sighed.  She was near the top.  A red light spilled out and onto the stairs.  Alex had said that Abraham was there with them, but Ellen had yet to see her.  The first floor was too dangerous for a real search, and while the second floor offered sanctuary, Ellen doubted that Abraham would be waiting up there.  She wondered what state they would find Abraham in, if Abraham could be found at all.

            Her bones ached and her lungs burned, but Ellen ignored the ache and the burn and pulled herself higher, toward light and away from the sad, lonely wails of her friend below.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex crawled her way to the door, nose crinkled, the smell of iron and rot thick in her nostrils.  Alicia hung, suspended above her.  Blood caked the jagged steel imbedded in her body and pooled at the tip.  Tiny red pearls had splattered across the floor.  A few hit Alex on the head, cold and slick.

            Next, Alex stood and swallowed a sob.  Another droplet hit her forehead and made a slow crawl down her skin.  At standing, Alex’s head was at level with Alicia’s ruptured chest.  She reached up and grabbed at a spike with both hands.  The sharp form of the steel dug into her palms and left a shallow laceration as she tightened her grip.  Dried blood flaked off underneath her fingers.

            Bracing against the door with one foot and planting the other against the floor, Alex gave a tug.  The steel rod broke smoothly, and she fell to the floor, half a rusted spike clattering across the stonework at her side.  The rest remained firmly imbedded in the door, the very edge of it visible inside of Alicia’s pale, waxy flesh.

            Alicia’s corpse clicked its cold, dry tongue.  Bright, foggy eyes rolled around in gaunt sockets and stared down at Alex through clumped tawny hair.  “Poor, little Alex, just can’t let things lie buried where they belong.  Always pulling open the closets to find the skeletons inside.”

            “Alicia?”

            “Your entire life you sat wallowing in your own pity, keeping to the dark corners of the room, never leaving, never living, and the moment you go out and make the effort, you go and get yourself killed,” Shana’s corpse said crustily from the other door.  “How many people have died for you now?”

            “She didn’t kill me,” Alicia’s corpse said, “But she sure as hell couldn’t save me, either.”

            Alex held back tears.  Her stomach ached she had cried so hard that she was about to wretch again.  It took solid, slow breaths to calm her, and those were hard to come by.  She held her hand to her mouth and swallowed bile.  “I didn’t.”

            Shana’s corpse cackled.  “Oh, poor thing, we’re making her cry.  That’s what you do when you lose someone, isn’t it, Alex?  You curl up and you cry and you worry about how sad you are and how alone you are, and you never give one single thought to the dead.  All of your thoughts belong to you and yourself.”

            “She always was selfish,” Alicia’s corpse said.  It stared emptily at Alex’s quivering body.  “I was sick, Alex, sick, and still you depended on me, used me, hung on me like the parasite you are.  Come to think of it, maybe you did kill me after all.”

            “I didn’t!”

            “You killed me,” called a high, hoarse voice from behind her.  Turning, Alex shuffled away into the solid form of a pew.  Slowly, and with stiffness belonging to the dead, Ellen’s corpse turned its head about and cast its pearly eyes on Alex.  It had a large smile that showed all of its bloody, broken teeth.  “I wouldn’t be here if I had never met you, and I wouldn’t be dead if you had been there to protect me.”

            “If only you had the strength to stop Carolyne in the first place,” said Shana’s corpse from the doorway, “Then none of us would be here.”

            “If only,” Ellen’s corpse added with a rasping laugh.

            Alex pushed up from the pew and ran around Ellen’s body, ducking between pews and coming to a halt as two more corpses turned their dead eyes on her.  “You spent so much time trying to fight me,” Goliath’s corpse called from ahead, its head bouncing as it tried lift-up to look at her.

            “Shut up!”  Alex fell to her knees before Carolyne’s blank, empty eyes.  This corpse didn’t say anything at all, and at the back of her mind, Alex felt deep down that was so much worse.  Curling up, she hugged her knees and continued to cry.

            A cold hand came to rest on Alex’s shoulder.  Slowly, with effort, the fingers curled gently, and Alex turned to look up into Alicia’s corpse’s face.  “It’s okay, though, we never expected you to survive without us, anyway.  You aren’t a survivor, Alex.  You’re a coward, and a weakling, and even among us, you’re the deadest body in the room.”

            Another hand, cold and rigid, alighted on the other shoulder, and something with Shana’s voice whispered into Alex’s ear, “You’re already dead with us, Alex, in spirit, so why not go all the way? Cross that final line and really commit.  You can’t live with one foot in the grave forever, and you said not so long ago that life is all about making decisions and sticking to them, didn’t you?”

            Alex fixed her vision on Carolyne’s corpse.  It didn’t stare back.  It sat limp, motionless, empty eyes without judgment.  A shadow fell over her like an omen and, when she looked up, she saw something wearing Abraham’s tiny frame.  Cheeks sunken, neck twisted at an odd angle, it said, “You promise you would protect me, and you couldn’t.  You’re not strong enough to protect me, Alex, you’re not strong enough to protect anyone.  But it’s okay, because we’re here to protect you, now.  We’re here to help.”

            “No,” Alex whined when she finally found her voice, and she hugged her knees more tightly to her chest.  “No.  No!”  She hid her face between her legs and kept repeating the word as her mantra.  She repeated it until the voices died in the dead air, and she kept repeating it as the hands retreated. 

Once alone, she lifted her head, she found Carolyne’s corpse now eying her.  It sat up and shuffled toward Alex, stopping with their foreheads together, their lips nearly touching.  Alex couldn’t feel its breath, and she thought for a moment how strange that was, but then she remembered that it was dead, and she could smell the death on it and, beneath that, cigarette smoke.  Carolyne’s corpse grabbed Alex by the head and screamed, “You should have died back there, not me!"

 

: Bridges :

 

Ellen ran as much from the screams as from Alex’s vengeful strikes.  She hobbled to the top of the stairs and there came to a stop, breathing hard and hanging from the rail.  The second floor was a long, wide platform with four torches lit to show the surface.  Gargoyle’s watched from the walls, their gemstone eyes catching the light and shining.  A large red stone was set into the center of the platform, its surface producing a light of its own.

There was a short, stocky woman with close-cut hair and a boyish face at rest beside the large, liquid-like gemstone at the platform’s center.  She sat with her legs crossed and her eyes closed.  Ellen though her quite beautiful, in a non-traditional way.  The woman was at ease, her repose in meditation as she whispered to herself in a quiet voice tinged with remorse.

Ellen sat watching her while gathering her breath.  She thought to go back down until she heard Alex’s continued screaming.  Using the railing for support, she pushed herself to standing and limped across the platform, toward the shining gemstone and the woman.  As she approached, she slowed and winced so that her eyes could adjust to the light.

            Suffer.  Guilt.

            She stopped a few feet shy of the woman and strained to hear the woman’s whispers.  Leaning forward, she gazed into the gemstone and found a body inside.  It was a small body, with dark hair fanned out around it in a black halo.  The bright red light bled into the white of its body.  It was difficult to see at first, but Ellen recognized the body to be Abraham at rest, curled up into a fetal position and caught in the gemstone like a bug might be caught in amber.

            Doubt and death.

            That caught Ellen’s attention, and she looked to the woman now while Alex cried below.  Alex’s words, though muffled, were those of someone begging, and it slowly fell into place as Ellen made the connection.  She didn’t understand everything, but she knew enough to realize that this woman was in no way normal, and also this woman was somehow hurting her friend.

            Standing in the red bglow of the gem’s light, Ellen watched the woman and listened to her whisper, repeating the same words like a mantra.  From what Ellen could tell, the woman didn’t possess the raw, destructive force of someone like Carolyne, but Ellen didn’t know what this woman could be like with her eyes open.

            Gathering herself, Ellen took a deep breath and lifted her chin to look confident.  “I can do this,” she whispered to herself, and then more loudly, and also more confidently—she hoped—she said, “You!  You’re the one hurting Alex, aren’t you?”

            The woman didn’t respond.  She simply continued her chanting.

            Ellen frowned at the woman’s lack of response and reached out timidly to shove her.  “Hey, I’m talking to you.”

            The woman jerked into wakefulness and looked on Ellen in mixed horror and surprise.  Falling backward, she shuffled away from Ellen and toward the platform’s railing.  “You!  How are you here?”

            Ellen’s stomach did a flipflop.  She felt like running but didn’t have the energy to do it, so she stood her ground.  “You’re hurting Alex, aren’t you?  Stop it!”

            “I wasn’t hurting her, but I was…” The woman stood and rounded the gem, putting it between herself and Ellen.  The red-light made a mask of shadows that distorting her boyish features into something demonic.  “I can’t let you take her.”

            Ellen looked down at Abraham’s sleeping form, unmoving in the gemstone.  “Why not? What do you need her for?  Because that Abel guy wants to become a god?”

            “She will save mankind,” said the woman.  “Not directly, but she is vital to our progress.  With her, Abel will ascend, and he will bring the world with him after.  This is just the first step, but it is the most important.  With him as our example, not only will he be a god, but we will all become gods.”

            Ellen put her hands on her hips and stared at the woman overtop the gemstone.  “Gods? You’re doing all of this for that? Doesn’t that seem a bit silly to you?”

            “Silly?  It’s necessary, and it is inevitable.  We will all become gods in our own right, someday, and have been moving toward it since Eve first tasted of the fruit.  We’re just giving humanity the push it needs.”

            “Okay, but why? I mean, what right do we have to become gods? And assuming we even can, how does hurting us, killing us, or kidnapping her help anyone at all? Wouldn’t that just, I don’t know, make us worse?  Wouldn’t that take us in the opposite direction?”  Ellen pointed down at Abraham and shouted, “You tell me how in the hell this is supposed to be helping Abraham!”

            The woman went quiet.  She stared at Ellen for a long moment. “Abraham?”

            “You don’t even know her name?”

            The woman’s gaze followed Ellen’s finger.  “I didn’t even know that she had a name.”

            “Really?”  Ellen frowned. “Well, she does.  She’s just like you.  She’s alive and breathing, and she bleeds, and she feels, and she came to me, lost and scared and alone, and she was running.  From you people!”

            “I thought she was just a catalyst.”  The woman said it without certainty or conviction.

            “Catalyst, gods, and all of this nonsense!  Look at this, look at where you are, and look at what you’re doing, and think, really think about all of this, and tell me it’s right.”

            “I was just trying to…”  The woman looks up into Ellen’s eyes.  Her tears catch the light.  “I was just trying to help us, to fix us.”

            “People aren’t broken.  You can’t just fix us, and you definitely can’t do it like this.  You want to make the world better, the only way to do it is by being better.”

            “You,” the woman’s voice died in her throat.  She leaned back and held her temples, staring into the hazy red light of the gem.  Abraham slept inside soundly, a child tucked into bed, a god at rest.  “You’re right,” she said, “We’ve gone too far.”

            Ellen smiled.  “I am, so come and help me to get her out of there.”

            The woman, surprised by Ellen’s candor, laughed.  “Alright, I guess I can do that much.”

            The shadows on her face spread and merged with the shadows behind her, forming into a solid mass.  Her head jerked back and, from the ground below, the shadows lurched.  They speared her through the chest.  Blood sprayed from her in a fountain from her neck and rained down across the red gemstone, obscuring the light.  It ran down her torso and thighs.  She gurgled, hovering a few inches from the ground, and then fell.

            Crest appeared from the shadows.  They slid off him like oil and formed into a cape.  He examined Carla with his cold, dark eyes and smiled mirthlessly.  “You always had a big heart, Carla, and now it’s all over the floor.”

            Ellen stood, shaking, and stared, while Carla clawed at the stonework and struggled for breath.  She mouthed for Ellen to run but it was pointless.  Her air had run out.  All she could muster was a desperate wheeze before she went still.  Ellen’s legs felt wet and warm as they gave out from under her.

            Crest turned his smile on her. “And there you go, just like a child.”  He laughed.  “But, then, fear is never flattering, is it? Well, no point in wasting an immobile target, is there?”  The shadows curled.  He lifts his hand and they swept forward, mimicking his movement.  From the darkness appeared a slender fin that flowered forward like water, the edge a fine blade.

            Ellen watched the shadows flow toward her, watched their gradual progress as they spread around the gemstone.  Her heartbeat lasted an eternity.  She saw her life stretched out before her, the entirety of it, the good, the bed, and everything else, and one thought preoccupied her mind: “I’m going to die.”  It played on repeat.

            The room grew dark as the torch to her right was snuffed.  Death grew closer, a sweeping form rushing at her.  There was a gleam and flash, and a purple disc landed at her feet.  It cast a solid light that repelled the shadows, which rushed against it like water crashing against the shore.  They met with tidal force, and the shadows fanned harmlessly around her.

            Strong arms encased her and lifted her.  Ellen landed a few feet away, nearer to the stairs, and then was deposited carefully to the floor.  Isaac kneeled beside her and held her by the shoulder.  Their gazes met, and she stared back with the uncertainty of a newborn.  He was breathless.  “Ellen! Are you okay?”

            Legs wet, heart racing, Ellen struggled for breath.  The words were lost in her.  She nodded.

            “Thank God.” He hugged her.  “I didn’t know if I would make it in time.”

            “I think you did.”  Ellen spoke absently as she hugged him back.  Her arms were weak.  She didn’t want to let go. “Isaac, you saved me!”

            “Actually, I think you saved me.”  Isaac stood and conjured his other chakram as he turned toward Crest.  “I’ll explain later.  First, I need to settle this.”

            Crest’s featured changed upon seeing Isaac.  His smile grew earnest and vicious as the shadows around him boiled.  “Van’s child!”

            “Ellen, things are dangerous here, and they are about to get worse.”  He extended his free hand and his first chakram dislodged itself from the ground and returned to him.  He caught it by the grip at its center.  “You go, and you take Abraham with you.  I’ll take care of him.”

            “Right.” Ellen stood and, once she was certain her legs would support her, added, “Thank you, Isaac.”  She walked hesitantly forward, eyes on Crest.  He passed Abraham absently, his gaze fixed wholly on Isaac.

            Ellen stopped beside the gemstone and looked inside.  It was built into the cathedral, or more accurately, the cathedral was built around it.  The surface was smooth and had no discernable openings.  It clearly wasn’t meant to be removed.  She ran her fingers along the surface, seeking a place to grip it that she feared wasn’t there.

 

-Chapter Notes-

 

Read chapters early at redwhalestories5.blogspot.com or get full stories & support my work on patreon.com/redwhalestories.

 

And thank you for reading,

RWS

31: Volume Three: Bridges, Chapter Fourteen: The Other Side

Chapter Fourteen: The Other Side

 

            Isaac had to blink, the brilliant morning light was so hard on his eyes.  When he sat up a tidal wave of pain washed over him, sinking him up to his head.  He swayed as the pain slowly receded, and then he stared in shock at his surroundings.  The cement was hard beneath him.  A car sputtered by.  The Emotion was in constant flux, but this was different.  There was life here, actual, human life.

            He stood and swallowed the image of a city in greys and whites.  Stone house, tall and narrow, stood in close, narrow neighborhoods.  They hugged each other, their edges weathered and smoothed, their forms slender and stalwart.  The water beneath the bridge was blue-green and endlessly flowing.  It looked just deep enough to sink under but still see the surface.  The air was fresh but also domesticated.  It smelled to him like a city might.

            People passed him.  Some stared.  Most ignored him.  They spoke in a language he didn’t understand, and there were dozens of them out this morning.  They were not the people of the Emotion, the tortured souls stuck there and warped by ubiquity.  They were a crowd going about their daily lives, living, and breathing, and working without a care for him or for his battles.

            Isaac leaned against the stone railing of the bridge and stared over the edge, and he wondered where in the world he had landed.

 

: Bridges :

 

            “So, this Isaac guy helped you,” Alex asked as she led the way up the stairs.  She looked back at Ellen over her shoulder.  Her tone was light, and she kept her hair tucked back and out of her eyes.  Ellen felt that Alex’s dark eyes seemed somehow brighter with her hair out of the way.

            Shana followed from the rear and watched them both.  Alex’s quick recovery following Goliath’s death worried her.  Her unwillingness to talk about or even acknowledge Carolyne’s death was even worse.  If anything, Alex seemed happier than Shana had seen her in years, perhaps in even a decade, and where Shana should have felt joy, she instead felt trepidation. She thought that Alex was burying it, as she buried everything else, but she didn’t want to force the issue in the Emotion.  As always, Shana chose to watch and wait, to be there for if—or when—Alex needed her.

            “Yeah,” Ellen said, “He’s kind of like my knight-in-shining armor.  He’s been protecting me this entire time.  I don’t know that I could have made it without him.”  Walking between them, Ellen looked first at Alex and then back as Shana, and she made note of their many bruises and bloodied clothes.  “What about you two?  You look like you’ve had quite the adventure.”

            Alex shrugged.  She kept a steady gait and held the wall as she walked to keep herself steady.  “Can’t be much different than yours.  Right, Shana?”

            Shana nodded silently.

            Alex looked past Ellen, into Shana’s eyes.  “Hey, is something wrong? You’re being really quiet.”

            “No, sorry, I’m fine.  I’m fine.”  She looked to Ellen and said, “It really hasn’t been bad.  I mean, we’ve had hard times, but we’re alive, aren’t we?”

            Ellen smiled one of her big smiles and clasped her hands as she laughed.  “Amen to that, sister!”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Isaac walked the streets aimlessly, stopping a plump man with a thick mustache and a fine coat to ask him questions.  The man, who was walking with the aid of a cane, paused and eyed Isaac with distant interest before saying something Isaac didn’t understand and pushing on.  Isaac watched the man go and stuffed his hands in his pockets.  He walked further into the town, keeping to the pale white sidewalks beside the narrow roads and following street signs that he couldn’t read.

            He walked until his feet hurt.  Movement had been hard to start and grew harder as the day wore on.  Within the Emotion, he felt endless and infinite.  No matter how far he went, no matter for how long, he never hungered or thirsted.  Sleep was more from habit than from need and was imposed on him largely for Ellen’s sake.  His return to the physical world, however, was draining.

            Stopping, he found rest on a nearby stoop.  The building behind him was tall and thin, with an old, dark wooden door bolted to the front on black hinges.  The porch was small and decorative.  The entire town looked to him like something out of a painting.  It seemed less real to him than the Emotion had been, but the people here reinforced one impossible fact—he had somehow made it home.

            Isaac’s father had once told him of how a high amount of spiritual energy could affect the mind.  It made Isaac worry that this all might be an illusion, but he kept that thought at the back of his mind, saved for when he couldn’t find anything more reasonable to believe.  For now, at least, the stone beneath his feet and the movement of the sky was proof enough that this was no simple vision.

            He slumped and drew a deep breath.  The air tasted different here, not unclean but lived in.  Somehow, and at some point, he had left the Emotion and gotten lost in the physical world.  He had appeared seemingly from the ground in a place he didn’t know, surrounded by people who didn’t know him and with little chance of finding his way back.  He didn’t like the thought, but it helped him to put everything else into perspective.

            First, he needed to look for Ellen.  She wasn’t with him when he woke, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t come with him through whatever hole he had fallen through.  If she had, then he would need to find her and situate her here—this place was likely safer than the Emotion.  If she was still in the Emotion, then he needed to find a way back fast to keep her safe.

            Isaac stood and, with his fists firmly in his pockets, walked forward with his head down.  He started back in the direction of the bridge and planned to fan out from there.  He wasn’t sure how long he would look, but he wanted to make a thorough search of the area before giving up on Ellen.  He wanted to make sure he searched everywhere for her and figured he could get his bearings in the process.

            On the way, he was stopped by a small woman.  She had large blue eyes that searched him in a cold but not unfriendly way.  Her hair was dark and short, her skin quite fair.  Her lips were full, pink, and her nose very small and slightly unturned.  She had the build of a ballerina, small and lithe, and when she saw him, she called out to him by his father’s name.  “Van?”

            Isaac stopped and turned to her.  The woman whore high-heels and a long black skirt, and she stood several inches shorter than him.  She watched him closely, inspecting every detail of him, and then her brow knitted.  “No,” she said, “Not Van, but you do feel like him.”

            Isaac’s neck bristled.  She approached him and stopped only inches away.  Despite their difference in height, Isaac felt like a child before her, like he was looking up at her.  She had a bag tucked under her arm and pursed her lips as she examined him further.  This time, she was looking into him.  He waited.

            “Who are you?”  She asked only when her investigation was finished, and the answer was not made obvious to her.  Isaac’s response was guarded.

            “Who are you,” he asked, putting distance between them, but it didn’t seem like enough.  She didn’t move.  “And how do you know that name?”

            She shifted her weight.  Her heels scraped the stone.  Her eyes remained cool and emotionless.  She was a scientist, and he was a bug in amber.  “You tell me first,” she said.  “How do YOU know that name?”

 

: Bridges :

 

            They cover their eyes when they reach the surface.  Having been inside the darkened temple interior so long, the sunlight felt like an assault.  They winced and recoiled, but they moved forward, one foot ahead of the other, and soon a warm, fresh breeze welcomed them. 

            The temple opened out onto a large cliff overlooking a forest.  The dirt was dry and chalky.  Their footfalls stirred the dust as they walked.  The sun was stuck in perpetual afternoon, casting a burning orange across the sky, framed in a golden hue.  The cliff tapered into a narrow land-bridge that was cut short by the imposing form of an immense, steel dome.  The dome stuck out of the landscape like a bulbous, grey tumor.  Alex stopped at the dull gray orb and put her hand to it.  It was smooth to the touch and cool against her palm.

            Shana joined Alex and examined it beside her.  “What do you think it is?”

            Alex shrugged.  “Who knows? In this place, it could be anything.”

            Ellen observed from behind them.  “Looks like steel,” she said.  “Wonder how it got here.  It doesn’t look natural, and it doesn’t seem very old, either.”

            Alex tapped her knuckles and listened to the interior ring—it was hollow.  Then, alongside Shana beside her, the hair on her arms stood on end.  They turned and found the temple gone, replaced by an empty, dusty expanse that stretched into the horizon.  More cliffs rose in the hazy, shifting distance.  Standing between them and the distance were two people, one with dark skin and long, straight hair, her eyes world-weary, her movements poised and precise but also slow, as if it were an effort to move at all.

            A tall man stood beside her, lean but with broad features.  Pink lips, large powerful hands, a broad chest and wide-set shoulders wrapped in an iron carapace and an open helm.  A great sword, nearly as long as he was tall, was strapped to his back and touched the earth as he walked.

            Alex put herself in front of Ellen.  She had her right hand balled into a fist.  “Who are you?”

            They stopped.  The man pointed.  “We know her, don’t we, little girl?”

            Alex looked back at Ellen, who stared back in wide-eyed fright.  She hugged her right arm to her side before looking Alex in the eyes, and she said, “I think we’re in trouble.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            The woman, Nyx, led Isaac back to her apartment within the city.  It was cramped and compartmentalized, the ceilings low, the floors made of bright, polished wood.  Isaac had to stoop whenever he moved between rooms.  Nyx had no such troubles.

            The apartment had a small living room with an adjoining kitchenette.  There was a bedroom behind another door and a bathroom connected to that.  A small balcony looked out over the city, guarded by curving, black steel rails that ended in arrow-headed points at the top.  Inside of the apartment, Nyx retreated to her bedroom to change while Isaac waited in the living room.  She removed her jacket and left it in the bedroom, returning and ushering Isaac into a Victorian lounge chair.

            “Tea,” she asked as she entered the kitchenette.  She put a kettle on and started a gas burner with a match.

            “Ah, sure, thanks.”

            Nyx nodded curtly and peeked out at him over a bar that separated the rooms.  “While we wait for the water, why don’t you go ahead and tell me it is that how you know about Van?”

            Isaac gave her a long stare.  She was a small woman, much shorter than him, but she met his gaze steadily.  Her eyes were large and dark and full of secrets.  She knew things about him that he didn’t know, and she knew his father, too.  Considering his history with his father, that left him more curious than trusting.  Waiting on the lounge, he kept his hands in his pockets more out of a sense of protection than out of anything to do, and he looked away.  “He’s just a guy from my past,” Isaac said, and he hoped he lied well.  “An old acquaintance.  I didn’t know him well, but I was hoping he could help me solve a problem I’m having.  He’s a smart guy.”

            Nyx left the kitchenette and glided across the room.  Her footfalls were silent, even on the old, polished wood of the apartment.  She settled on a plain, bare loveseat across from him and leaned back.  As she settled, she crossed her legs sensually and was keenly aware of him watching her.  “Yes, he is.  What is it that you want to know, exactly?”

            “Just some stuff about his past.”  Isaac tried to meet her gaze but could not.  She searched him whenever they made eye contact, like she was seeing everything he wanted to hide from her.

            Nyx smiled politely.  “Of course, any question you might have for him would obviously be about something he has previously experienced, or about someone close to him that he has experienced.”

            “Sure.”  Isaac met her eyes briefly and felt like an animal being hunted.  She was stalking him from her seat, her every movement graceful, even when at rest.  She was relaxed, but he was sure she could cross the room in an instant and seize him.  He cleared his throat, and she smiled.

            “Anyway, I am looking for Van as well, which is unfortunate for us both, isn’t it?  That said…”  She fixed her gaze on him, made it somehow sharper.   The air around them shifted, and so did reality.  Isaac could barely react before she had him pinned to the couch.  His arms were out, drawn from his pockets, his Voices gripped tightly in his hands, and she held her own Voice to his throat.  One foot had his left arm pinned, while the other was pinned to the floor.  The central shaft of a sai had drawn a small pearl of blood from his neck, and he could feel the cold steel of the second one pinning his other wrist to the cushion behind him.

            Isaac’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.  He met her gaze and found her eyes darker than before and full of power.  When she spoke, her lips her hypnotic.  “No more lies, boy.  Tell me the truth: how do you know Van?”

 

: Bridges :

 

            They stood in silence examining each other.  Alex kept herself between Shana and Ellen and the other two.  The armored man stood in front of the woman, his hands at his side but his blade gleaming in the burnished sunlight.  They regarded each other calmly, the woman showing only limited interested and seeming almost bored with the world.

            The silence was tense.  Without a word spoken, a thin line was drawn between them.  Alex stayed ready, her fist balled, her Voice at the back of her mind.  She kept an eye on Ellen, waiting for her to take the lead, but it was the lady, Deidra, who broke the silence.  She spoke listlessly, her gaze faraway, as if on a distant horizon.  “Do you still intend on confronting Abel?”

            Alex, realizing the question was meant for her, examined the woman before she answered.  Deidra had fine posture.  She carried herself how a queen might, or so Alex imagined, but she saw something empty inside of the older woman.  Deidra was incomplete, and it reminded Alex of herself.  “I don’t even know who Abel is.”

            “He has the girl,” Deidra said.  “He is the man behind all of this.”

            “The girl? If you mean Abraham, then, yes, we’re going to confront him and take her back.”  Alex sighed and let her hand come to rest on her hips.  The tension was gone.  Deidra clearly had no interest in a fight.  Alex wasn’t sure she had an interest in anything.  “Listen, we just want to grab her and go home.  We’re sick of fighting, and we’re sick of being here.”

            Deidra shrugged, and Cornelius laughed.  “The master needs the girl,” he said.

            “Why?”

            Deidra looked away.  She looked into the sunset with the same disinterest with which she regarded them.  Her dress was bunched in her hands, but the ends of it were still caked in dirt.  She walked to the very edge of the cliff, stopping with the tips of her toes peeking over, and she stared down.  Without looking up, she said, “She is necessary to the completion of his goals, very much in the same way that she is necessary for you to return home.  She is a very special girl, that one.”

            Ellen, from behind Alex, called, “Why does he need her? What is his goal?”

            Deidra looked at them directly now, her eyes empty and dark as beads of glass.  “He requires the girl so that he can become God.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Nyx held Isaac’s gaze.  He looked away, eying the sai pressed to his throat.   His father had trained him since childhood to use his Voice, to feel others with special abilities, and to fight should he need to. Using his spiritual awareness and the powers buried deep within his soul, Isaac could augment his strength, speed, endurance, and even his perception, and even with all of that training, he couldn’t follow Nyx’s movements.

            His mouth went dry as he considered his options.  The hammering of his heart interrupted his thoughts.  She waited patiently for him to gather himself, his arms pinned in place.  A growing line of blood had trailed down his neck and gathered at his collar bone.  A thousand scenarios played through his head, but none of them were believable.  He decided to tell the truth.

            “I am Van’s son.”  Nyx stayed quiet, and she didn’t move, so Isaac continued, “My name is Isaac Eralder, and I am looking for Van—for my father—after I was somehow dragged to this place called the Emotion.  It’s a sort of meta-physical world, trapped somewhere between life and death, or physical and spiritual, in the same way that your soul links your spiritual being to your physical body.  Time and space there are different, distorted, almost like captured photographs.  You blink, and you’re some where and some time else, and the last time I moved between boundaries, well, I found myself here.”

            Nyx didn’t move and betrayed no thought.  She didn’t even blink.  Her dark eyes remained fixed on him for a long few seconds, and then she sighed and let the great tension in the air at rest.  Isaac thought for a moment that he was free, but her sai remained.  She closed her eyes briefly, but when they open again, they bore into him.  “You say that you are his child?  If you knew him at all, you would know that is impossible.  You have at least seven years on him, if not more.”

            “Seven years?  That can’t be possible.”  Isaac’s brow knitted.  He looked about the room, and about her, and he thought back to the bridge, and to the streets, and to the people moving about him.  “What year is this?”

            “1980.  Why?”

            Isaac remained quiet as he digested the notion.  It seemed impossible to him, but when put against everything that had happened to him recently, it also seemed somehow perfect.  The Emotion itself existed between time and space and could, logically, exist outside of it as well.  His time there was no time at all, and his leaving simply placed him at a random moment in time.

            The kettle interrupted them with a whistle from the stove.  Neither moved.  Nyx eyed him a moment longer and then moved, her Voice dissipating as she stepped away.  She left fearlessly, her back to him, and looked at him over the bar top as she prepared their tea.  “It’s ready.”

            Isaac sighed and sagged into his seat.  He wiped the blood from his neck and then stared at his hand.  From the moment he met Nyx, he could feel her power, but he hadn’t felt the full depth of it.  When training with his father, Isaac always felt like Van was holding back.  Nyx feels the same to him, like there is a deep ocean of strength buried in the depths of her, that he is only splashing in the surf.

            Feeling a person’s soul required training, and it also required intuition.  Those who could not manifest a Voice could sometimes perceive the auras of other people.  Those who could manifest a Voice, however, often got interference from the light that they cast off of themselves.  They can feel things, but they do not understand it.  Like a radio out of tune, all they get it static.  Isaac was taught from a young age to silence the storm inside of himself, to clear his thoughts, and to open himself to the world.

            Nyx returned with a tray that held two cups, two small plates, and the kettle.  She set it on a small table in front of him and then poured him a cup.  The steaming water browned as the tea leaves dispersed.  Isaac watched her movements, and he felt nothing.  She had buried her strength again.  One moment a raging fire, then hardly a hint of a spark, and when she looked at him, he knew that she could see everything he was.

            She poured herself a cup and dropped some sugar into it.  Then, stirring, she sat back on her loveseat and crossed her legs again.  Her pink lips pursed as she blew away the steam.  “To tell the truth, this all sounds suspicious, but I can tell you aren’t lying.”  She sipped her tea and licked her lips after.  “But that doesn’t mean that you’re telling the truth.  So, please, try your best to explain to me what is going on, and spare me no details.”

            Isaac did his best.  He told her in detail about the time which he came from, described Van as his father, distant but firm, and of his missing mother.  He told her about Sadieville and about a childhood spent training under his father’s guidance, about his disobedience and the battle at the college campus, and he told her about his journey to the Emotion and his reunion with his mother.  Ellen was mentioned, softly and briefly, and little detail was given about her, though he still thought of her.  He ended his story on this: “I saw a man there.  He reminded me of someone from my father’s old photographs, a man my father knew.  He was a boy in the pictures, I think, and I think his name was Abel.”

            It was only at Abel’s name that Nyx reacted to.  She lifted a single eyebrow and poured herself more tea.  Again, she added sugar, and she stirred it while watching him.  Isaac stared back feeling naked and childish.  Even to him, the story felt like the ramblings of a madman.  He held his tea with both hands and stared at it.  “Anyway, that got me thinking, if my mother was there, and Abel was there…My dad didn’t talk about it, and mom, well…Anyway, something happened between them.  Something that changed them forever, something that was still changing things now.  I wanted to ask my dad about it, to hear it from him.  So, when the boundaries shifted, I woke up, and well, I was here.”  He turned the teacup around in his hands, desperate for something to do.  The words all felt wrong, but he had no other way of explaining it to her.  The movement sent ripples through his tea.  He watched them meet and part and meet again.  “And that’s it.”

            Nyx sipped at her tea and then set it aside.  Diplomatically, she folded her hands on her lap, and she stared at Isaac until he got the courage to meet her gaze.  She made him feel hot and timid in front of her, like a child with a crush, and she seemed to know it.  She smiled at him.  “The Emotion?  If you’re telling the truth, then I know exactly why you’re here.  You wanted your father to answer your questions about his past, didn’t you?  But, by how you’ve explained him, do you think that he would have ever answered you honestly?  Even if he had, could he have been capable of answering your questions honestly, without bias?”

            Isaac, feeling silly for the notion, shrugged and stared at the floor.  “I don’t know, I didn’t think about it.  I still don’t even know how I got here.”

            “You speak of the Emotion as being outside of time, being both static and changing, physical and meta-physical.  Assume, if you can, that the Emotion somehow felt your need, that it ‘heard’ you.  Assume, also, that your desire was so intense that it found you an exit in an effort to grant you a wish, and it brought you here.”

            “But my wish was for answers.”

            “Answers that your father couldn’t give.”  Nyx looked out the window.  “At least not the man you know as your father.  Maybe your father was right there, on the very street where you appeared, just a boy, and neither of us even noticed.  I didn’t sense him.”  She looked at Isaac. “But maybe it was because you covered him up.”

            “Sorry, I guess.”

            “Don’t be.  I’m not too worried about him.  Honestly, I’m really looking for someone else.”  She looked fragile for a moment, and only for a moment, and then she became herself again—a hauntingly beautiful beast.  “You didn’t meet me in this future of yours?”

            “No.”

            “And you’re sure?  Maybe you did, but you were too small to remember.”  She picked up her tea, smiling as she sipped it.  Isaac stared.

            “Trust me, if I had ever met you, I would have remembered.”

            Nyx laughed.  “And now you loosen up.  Well, if we didn’t meet, then I imagine that something happened which took your father down another path.  I can’t imagine what—it doesn’t have to be bad—but it happened.”  She sighed wistfully.  “Maybe, like you, I was just carried away through time.”

            A cloud drifted in front of the sun and cast the apartment in momentary darkness.  They sat, silent, watching each other in the shade.  Isaac tried, ineffectually, to put his guard up, and it was starting to feel like an exercise in futility.  Nyx sipped her tea, and the sunlight returned.

            “How do I get back?”

            “What?”

            “You seem to understand all of this better than I do.  How do I get back?”

            “Who said you can?”

            “If I can get here, then I should be able to go away.”

            “Maybe that door only opens one way.”

            “Then I need to find another door,” Isaac said.  “I can’t stay.  I left someone there, someone I have to protect.”

            “You’re cute, and you’re assuming that the world cares.  But, if you’re desperate, then just use your head.  If a wish brought you here, then maybe a wish of equal effort could take you back.  The Emotion is supposed to be the world’s soul, so large and so vast that it is a vast sea of emotion, yes?  If that is true, then you should know as well as me that it is always around us, surrounding us, encompassing us, and within us.  Think of something, maybe that something you need to protect, and force your way back to it.”

            Isaac thought for a moment and then nodded his understanding.  He set his tea on the table and leaned forward on his knees.  “Okay.  Before I go, though, I have one more question.”

            “What is it?”

            “I was hoping you could tell me what’s going on, now and then, with my father, and with Abel.  You seem to know what’s going on, or at least more than I do.  Tell me what my father won’t.

            Nyx looked at him warily, her interest waning, and then shrugged.  Her smile was impish and rueful.  “Why not.  I could waste an evening.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            “Do you know what your little friend is,” Cornelius asked from behind Deidra.  He stared past them, at the vast dome behind them.  His gaze was empty but heavy, his face blank now, as devoid of emotion as his charge.  “No? And you’re still insistent on constructing a half-cocked plan to come in and save her, to protect her with no comprehension as to her true nature or value.”  Deidra, still looking over the edge of the cliff, called to him, and he stopped.  Bowing his head, he stepped back.  “I apologize.”

            She turned to the group and stared at and through them.  When she spoke, her voice was as hollow as her gaze. “That girl is important in ways you don’t understand and is vital to the function of the Emotion.  Think on your Voice, material manifestations of your soul, able to express your very spiritual essence as materialized, physical energies.  The Emotion where we stand is the world’s soul, and with a soul so vast, it would follow that the world’s Voice might be vast in turn, wouldn’t it?  And yet, that is the girl, your Abraham, the will of the universe, the Emotion’s Voice.”

            Ellen, who had only the meanest understand of the Voice and the soul, looked about for someone to speak, to ask what she felt the obvious question.  When no one did, she decided to speak for herself.  “And her being the whatever’s Voice helps this Abel guy become a god how?”

            Deidra shook her head and sigh; her dark braids danced.  “Not a god.  God.  Should he reign her in, then he will possess the power of the universe, of nature itself.  The Emotion, and all of the energy therein, will be at his disposal. He would control life, death, time, and everything in between. He could restart reality, all of it, everyone and everything.”

            Shana, from behind Alex and Ellen both, added, “Sound pretty god-like to me, but what I want to know is why are you helping him?”

            Deidra looked at her and shrugged.  “Why not help him?”

            “That’s no reason to help someone,” Alex said, drawing Deidra’s focus.

            “But it is a reason to not interfere.  We all suffer.  That is life, random and constant struggles without purpose and without meaning. None of this matters, our words, our battles, our triumphs or our failures.  Even if I chose not to help him, he would continue down this road.  My involvement changes nothing save for my involvement.  Whatever I do, I do knowing that it is meaningless, without value and thus without purpose.  I help him because the situation is what it is, and I am choosing to walk the path that is clearest for me.”

            Alex now scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.  “That’s a horrible way to look at it.”

            “Horrible or honest?  The truth is this: we are radiant souls shackled by material bodies, our earthly existence beginning soft and weak and ending just the same.  From the moment we first draw breath, we are on our way toward an inevitable and inglorious end, our every decision dictated by DNA and electrical impulse.  We are glorified computers carrying out processes assigned by a cruel and indifferent God. All of our feelings, our emotions, our attachments, and our valuables are lies to keep us blind, and I am merely one burdened with the gift of sight.”

            Alex’s jaw went tight.  She thought of Alicia dying in the hospital bed, her body giving out after fighting for seventeen years.  She thought of Shana staying with her through the long storm of Alex’s depression and mourning.  She thought of tiny Abraham, pale and frightened, begging for help as Ellen bled to death while serving as a human shield.  She found value in all of it, though she couldn’t find the words to express it.

            Shana hugged Alex then, hugged her from behind, and then moved to her side.  Staring Deidra in the eyes, she spoke softly, without judgment but also without reservation, unafraid of what she said or how she felt.  “I don’t believe you.  I don’t believe any of it.  I don’t know what happened in your life to make you feel this way, but I am sorry it did.  However, it doesn’t change this truth: I love Alex.  She has been my best friend from the moment I met her.  That is real.  I know that, and no matter what you say or what you feel, you can’t change that, and you can’t take it away from me.  Every tear we’ve shed together, good and bad, every heartache, and every smile, regardless of why they happened, have happened.  So, maybe what you see is the truth to you, but from where I stand, all I see is nothing but smoke and lies.”

            Deidra went stiff.  A frown formed on her delicate, implacable face.  “Your attachments and sentiments are the lies, illusions created by a lonely soul unable to deal with a harsh and uncaring reality, stifled by an empty dream, unwilling to wake up.”

            “Then I would rather dream than wake up!  Because it hurts sometimes, and it’s hard sometimes, but I won’t trade this for the world.  Maybe this life has no meaning.  Maybe the world doesn’t care, but if that’s the case, then I will care in its place.  I will give my life meaning.”

            Deidra stared at Shana without blinking, her eyes dark and glass-like.  Slowly, the frown on her face turned to a sneer and then wrapped into a small, baleful smile.  “Fine, if you feel that way, then I will allow you to pass.”

            Standing between then, Ellen blinked a few times and said, “Wait, what?”

            Deidra pointed past them, toward the iron husk which blotted the sky.  “That thing is borne from my soul.  It is my gift that I can create shells and shields within the Emotion, just as I have built one around my own heart.  In this case, I have been using one to keep you out and keep the girl in, but I can open it and allow you passage.”

            Alex and Shana shared a smile while Ellen whooped at their side.  “Under one condition,” Deidra said, and she let them grow somber before continuing, “One of you must stay here with me as tariff.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Nyx led Isaac out the front door and stood with him in the hallway.  He stared quietly at her, still feeling a bit like a boy with a crush, his hands in his pockets while she stood at the doorway, an air of nonchalance about her.  “Not too long ago, for me, Abel and Van were once best friends,” she said.  “Something happened between them, something involving Van’s sister—the aunt you never knew—which tells me that it was something terrible.  Your father, your mother, and Abel, whatever happened between them, it is tied up with what happened to her, to Florian.”

            “I think you’re right.  It doesn’t answer all of my questions, but I think it gives me a direction to go.  How can I repay you?”

            She smiled and leaned against the doorway.  Her blouse rode high, revealing her hips to him.  “Well, maybe you can tell me this—do you know a man named Luc in your future?”

            “Luc?  No.”  Isaac said it with certainty.  His father may not have shared much about his past, but Isaac had a way of getting his own information.  He often snuck into his father’s parlor and read his files when he could, and the name was not at all familiar to him.

            Nyx’s expression softened.  Still facing him, she opened the door behind her.  “Well, thanks anyway, then.  Now, go back to where you belong before you break anything that can’t be fixed.”  She hesitated at the door.  “And for what it’s worth, good luck to you.”

            “Thanks,” Isaac said, and he watched her return to her apartment and stood there in the hallway a moment after.

 

: Bridges :

 

            When he stepped into the sunlight and felt the fresh air on his face, he felt a warmth spread through him.  His return would require a reconnection with nature and with the spirit of it. To return to the Emotion, he would have to find somewhere within the city to do just that.  He would be nervous for failure but found it unlikely.  If he had left the Emotion before, then he reasoned that it would be possible to return.

            He went to the bridge and stood idle there, looking over the water and watching it passage.  It was green in the midday sun and lined by white stone walkways.  The sun was drifting out of the sky, distorting his image across the water.  He appeared as a shadow in its murky surface.  He leaned onto the railing and to stare.

            Nyx had told him to find something important in the Emotion, to focus on the promise he had made.  He thought first of his mother, but it didn’t bring him much.  She left when he was young and with hardly any memories to remember her by.  Thoughts of her brought him only an empty hole in his heart.  His father may have been negligent, but when thinking of his mother, Isaac felt grateful for his father even being there.

            Nothing.  Isaac watched the water pass and had a thought: the Emotion was the world of the spirit and the soul, perhaps a passage in itself.  It was meta-physical, operating at least partially on feelings and thought before anything else.  The world he was in now, the physical world, wasn’t so subjective.  It operated on impartial logic, on kinetics, energy, and chemical.

            His exile from the Emotion had been the product of his emotions.  His return, however, would have to be made through the physical world.  The steady burble of the water set him at ease.  Closing his eyes, he thought of his father, as cold and as impartial as this world around him.  He thought of his mother, nothing more than a distant memory.

            Climbing onto the rail, he steadied himself, and then he jumped.  The air whipped up his jacket as gravity pulled him toward the water below.  The impact knocked the air from his lungs.  The water swallowed him with a mighty roar.  He drove in like a needle, his body pulled under by the water which filled the empty air that followed in his wake.  He went deep, fast, as liquid became solid, and the world shifted around him.

            He hit a wall and felt for the gate.  Then, he turned the lock when he found the key.  All he had to think of was…

 

: Bridges :

 

            Ellen was the first to speak following Deidra’s offer, and she said, “I’ll stay.”  They looked at her as she came forward.  “I don’t have a Voice or anything special like that.  I would just get in the way, but the two of you, you’re different, you’re strong.  If anyone can save Abraham, it’s one of you.  So, go, and bring her back for me.”  She wore a smile as she spoke, but the smile was obviously forced and partially wilted.

            Alex nodded.  She took Ellen by the shoulder and stared her in the eyes.  As it had with everyone, their time in the Emotion had changed Ellen.  From where Alex stood, the other woman seemed more solid, more certain than she ever was before.  Alex said, “Don’t worry, we’ll bring her back.  I promise.”

            Shana watched them part before stepping between them.  “No,” she said, “We won’t do it.  Listen, Alex, this isn’t my journey.  It never was, at least not really.  I never knew Abraham.  This belongs to you, both of you, if it belongs to anyone—the people who found her.  You’re the ones she asked to protect her, so it should be you two who bring her back.  Besides, Ellen, if you really think we’re stronger, then I think it’s probably a better idea that we don’t leave you alone with them.”

            Ellen looked over to Deidra and Cornelius, who watched them from afar.  She considered their awesome power and remembered the danger Carolyne had posed to her.  It stood to reason, she suspected, that they might even be worse.  She pulled Shana into a hug.  “Thank you.  Thank you so, so much.”

            “You three are so sickeningly sweet,” Deidra said.  Her calm had broken, replaced by a slowly evolving venom that lined her every word.  She shuffled past them, leaving her dress to drag in the dirt as she moved.  Cornelius followed.  Deidra stopped at the dome and turned to face them.  “Come forward when you’re ready.”

            Alex hesitated.  She looked at Shana.  “Are you sure that you will be okay here by yourself?”

            Shana laughed.  “Are you being serious right now? I’m not afraid of those two.”  She winked at Alex.  “I’ll be fine.  You two go and get her. And be careful.”

            Alex hesitated and then hugged Shana. Then, she turned to Deidra and to the dome behind her.  She found Deidra staring back with growing disdain.  The way she looked, the way she frowned, twisted Alex up inside.  For Alex, it was like a specter of her past.  “Why are you helping us now?”

            “I am helping no one.  I have no sides in this.  Opening this neither aids you nor hinders him. It simply opens a door.  Whether you take it, or what you do after, is your decision.”

            “Right,” Alex said.  She didn’t believe Deidra, but she didn’t have the energy or time to argue.  She looked at Ellen.  “Are you ready?”

            Ellen nodded and together they stopped at the dome. It was large enough to eclipse the sky and cast a large, dark shadow over them.  The surface was smooth and cold even at a distance.  It appeared hollow at a glance, much like Deidra’s gaze. 

            Deidra touched the dome without turning.  She dragged her finger back and the dome peeled away like putty, layer after layer receding, leaving an opening just large enough for them to pass.  A large stone-built bridge, grey in color and long aged, appeared beyond.

            Alex drew a deep breath and looked to Ellen, who nodded one last time, and together they crossed the threshold.  The air inside was heavy and stagnant.  The world grew cold for them.  Inside, buried beneath the ancient apathy that permeated this dome, Alex felt a faint tickle of Abraham, and she smiled.  “She’s here,” she said.  “I can feel her.”

            Ellen smiled in her growing excitement and took Alex by the hand.  “Then let’s go.”

            “Yeah, she’s waited long enough.”  Alex looked back to find Shana waving, and she waved back as the dome flowed, liquidly, back into place.

            Alex turned again and found the bridge significantly shorter, as if she was carried forward by her own enthusiasm.  The bridge stretched over another great expanse, this one a sandy chasm framed by vast, orange walls dulled by the dome-filtered sunlight.  The sky was dull and grey.  A massive cathedral stood before them now, stain-glass showing a maiden in chains with fire at her feet.  Gargoyles stood guard before her, their stone-faced snarling eternally. They felt like the eye of the world was fixed on them.

            Alex felt Ellen shaking beside her and squeezed her hand.  “Don’t worry,” she said, “We’re almost there.”

            Ellen took a deep breath.  “Right.”  Together, they advanced.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Isaac stood in a dusty canyon, stirring the thin, orange dust that had at some point gathered upon his shoulders.  Vast, smooth canyon walls towered beside him, layered and stratified by age and by time.  At the center of the canyon, standing immediately before him, is a vast, stony island crowned by a black cathedral, with a bridge of wrought stone stretching out from it into oblivion.  The sky was steel grey; the air was without warmth.

            He felt his mother here.  She was everywhere around him, in the sand and in the air. She was the atmosphere itself.  He couldn’t breathe without remembering his scent, couldn’t blink without remembering her face.  She felt uncertain to him, and also more real to him than he could ever remember.

            Alex was there, too.  He could feel her presence above him, ine the cathedral, but she had changed.  Like his mother, she was more real to him, more solid and more certain.  She was resolved, the hollowness of her conviction having been replaced by some drive that was previously not there.

            He could feel someone else with her, a figure of deep rage, sorrow, and solitude.  They waited inside of the cathedral, overshadowing anything or anyone else within.  He looked up at the ancient, blackened stones of the building and regarded it with trepidation.  That would be his destination. 

            Without a word, he conjured his Voice and took the scaling the smooth, sandstone walls that surrounded him.

32: Volume Four: Covenant, Chapter Sixteen: Covenant pt. 1, Daybreak and Shadow

Volume Four: Covenant

 

We created God so that He could create us,

We reject God so that we can create ourselves.

 

Chapter Sixteen: Covenant, part 1 Daybreak and Shadows

 

            Alex and Ellen’s exit left Shana feeling very alone.  Cornelius stood to the side, near the cliff’s edge, and watched her while Deidra just stared ahead blankly, her face returned to the same mask of indifference that she arrived with.  Shana sat down beside the dome and waited, reflecting on her journey into the Emotion, her meeting with Samantha, and reunion Alex, who had changed so much since their arrival.  Their time there seemed to drain Shana, but it invigorated Alex, who grew stronger and stronger, coming out of her shell and becoming the woman Shana always knew she could be.  It made Shana happy to see her friend shine so bright, but it also made her feel a bit sad, afraid that Alex had somehow outgrown her.

            Since coming to the Emotion and finding her Voice, Shana could feel Alex.  Wherever Alex went, Shana could follow her.  That changed when the dome slid shut.  At first, Shana could feel a phantom of her lingering presence, muted but there.  Then, she couldn’t feel even a hint of her.  Alex was gone.

            It was then that she regretted letting Ellen go.  Though Alex was stronger now, Shana still felt the need to be there with her.  It was Shana’s belief that even the strongest people need support.  Shana looked at Deidra and wondered if she felt the same way about Abel.  Then, she stood.  “Hey, Deidra, I have a question for you.  That guy, Abel, wasn’t it?”

            “Yes, it was.”  Deidra spoke without turning.

            “Okay, why are you helping him?”

            “I thought we had discussed this already.  I have no reason.”

            Shana crossed her arms.  “Yeah, that’s what you said, but that’s not good enough.  There’s got to be a reason, whether you want to admit it or not.  You must be here for a reason.”

            Deidra glanced at Shana and then turned away.  She walked to the edge of the cliff and stared down into the bottom of the canyon.  Her dress trailed after her, shifting the dust in her wake.  “Such information is useless,” she said, and she stood, statue-like, staring into the distance.  “Why are you so desperate to know?”

            “I’m not,” Shana said.  “I guess if you told me, then at least I’d have a reason, you know, a motive?  At least then it wouldn’t be a bunch of people hurting each other just to make it hurt.”

 

: Covenant :

 

            Alex blinked and the pain was gone.  The shouts that once filled the room gave way to silence.  Meanwhile, the cold hands gripping her face disappeared into the still, musty air of the cathedral.  She could no longer smell blood, nor could she feel it running down her face.  She opened her eyes and found herself alone in a room, surrounded by nothing but pillars and pews, curled into a dark corner.

            She drew a deep breath and stood.  Only moments ago, she was faced with her greatest fears.  All of her hard work and all of the trouble she had imposed on others, made meaningless in the face of her own failures.  It felt to her so real and, even upon waking from these strange fantasies, she wonders how much of it was false.

            The pain was not gone but lessened, replaced by a stagnating sense of complacency that suffused the cathedral’s exterior equally.  She stared across the cathedral to the doors, which stood stalwart and blank.  Above, she could feel Abraham, and she could feel someone else with her.  Alex made for the stairs.

            At the top, she found Isaac staring across the platform at Crest.  Ellen was beside them, kneeling at a large, smooth gemstone, oval in shape and fixed into the floor.  Alex looked between Isaac and Crest before rushing to Ellen’s side.  “Ellen!”

            Ellen strained, her fingers pressed tightly to the gemstone, which she found warm to the touch and very, very solidly dug into the stonework of the building.  She saw Alex, and her hand’s slipped and fell onto her rear.  Alex was there before she could respond. Ellen could only looked up at her.  “Alex?”

            Alex kneeled beside Ellen.  “Ellen, what’s going on up here?”

            Ellen stared a moment longer before looking down at the gemstone.  “Abraham is trapped inside of here, and I can’t find a way to get her out.  I’m trying to pull it out, but this thing feels like it is built into the floor.”

            “So, we need to get it out of here first before we can even try to open up the gemstone and take her home, am I right?”

            Ellen paused. “Well, yeah, basically.”

            “Right.”  Liquid steel encased Alex’s right hand as she stood, solidifying into a blade.  “Stand back.”

            “Um, Alex, what are you doing?”

            “Getting her out of there.”

            Ellen pulled herself up and pressed her back flat to the wall.  Watching with wide-eyed anxiety, she said, “Please be careful!”

            “We’ve gotten this far, Ellen, I won’t screw things up here.”  Alex positioned herself above the gem, her legs wide, her feet planted firm.  She lifted her Voice above her head, supporting it with her free hand.  “Right, then.”  Closing her eyes, she called out to her soul, which whispered to her in return.  An echo rang through her, starting first as feelings and then forming words at the back of her throat.  She drew a deep breath and spoke.  The words became power as she articulated them.

            All sorrow be at bay.  All hope come to light!

            The air shifted around her.  When she swung her arm there was a crack and a flash.  The ground fractured and gave in a cloud of dust.  The gem fell through the floor and landed at the first floor’s center.  Alex’s footing remained stable as she stared through the newly formed hole she had made.  She shifted her weight and knocked a free hanging stone down onto the gemstone’s unblemished, liquid-like surface.  “See,” she said, “she’s fine.”

            Ellen, pale and shaking, released her held breath.  Alex offered her a hand and pulled Ellen to her.  Together, they hopped into the hole.  Alex landed lightly, bringing Ellen with her in a bridal carry.  At the floor, she set Ellen back down onto her legs and then turned to the gemstone.  “Come on, we need to get her out of here.”

            “Okay.”  Ellen followed Alex’s lead, taking up position across from her on the gemstone and seizing it clumsily where it was most narrow.  The gemstone itself was oblong and uneven.  Its surface was slick and resisted their grip.  They had to hug it and lift with their backs to get any leverage.  Hunched over it together, they scrambled toward the door.

 

: Covenant :

 

            Shana watched the dome’s dull gray exterior with growing unease and contemplated her connection with Alex.  Now without her, Shana wondered if she could always feel Alex’s presence around her, even before she found her Voice.  Being without her here in the Emotion seemed strange to her, almost wrong, like a world without color.

            Deidra joined Shana, standing at her side and staring, apathetically, and held herself in the same defensive posture.  She kept her arms wrapped around her torso, like she was comforting herself, like she was protecting herself from the world.  Shana realized that Deidra closed off her body like she closed off her heart. 

Deidra glanced at Shana.  “Do you have any children, girl?”

            Shana stared ahead, shifting her weight away from Deidra as she answered.  “No, I don’t.”

            “Of course not.  You’re far too young for children.”

            “I was about to say that.”  Shana sat in the dirt.  Deidra joined her.  They continued speaking while watching the dome, neither one chancing a glance at each other.  “Uh, what about you?  Do you have any kids?”

            Deidra looked at the ground.  For a brief moment warmth flashed across her features.  There was almost a smile, but it was restrained.  “I had a child, and he was the light of my life.  When he was born, when I saw his little face, there is nothing like it.”

            Shana looked at Deidra, watched emotions pass over her face like seasons.  A small, uncertain smile blossomed briefly before wilting into a frown.  That frown then turned to a bitter, hollow stare, and then to nothing, swallowed completely by the void the older woman had built around her heart.  Alex would do the same thing, Shana remembered.

            “Long ago, the man named Abel, the man whose plans you are attempting to thwart, went on a journey with me.  We endeavored to—Well, we wanted to end the world.  We were young, and we were blessed, and we were led by anger.  A man confused us, showed us a dark path, and another man, someone dear to us, fought against us.  He stopped us, but he did so at a cost.”  She paused, tears now in her eyes.  She wiped them away before continuing.  “So many broken things were left behind, broken friendships, broken people.  Broken hearts.  The boy who stopped us, the hero of this tale, he lost his sister in the struggle.

            “In the end, I survived, but it all left me feeling empty inside.  My anger, my resentment, had brought nothing but pain and suffering to the world.  It was my juvenile wish for a better world that had started it all, that had made me so angry, and when it was done, I realized that such things are just fiction.  For a time, I lost all hope.  Then, I gave birth.  He was a beautiful baby boy.  He was,” she smiled faintly, “He was so many things.  He looked just like me, but he had his father’s eyes.”

            Deidra paused and gathered herself.  Her features hardened as she spoke again.  “That was a lie, though, all of it a hopeless illusion.  His father was no hero.  Consumed by his past, he let it rule him.  He raised my son to be a fighter, a ‘hero’ in his own image.  Looking toward the past, he never once looked toward the future, for though he saved the world, he was as broken as the rest of us.

            “Day by day, I watched my son have his life taken away from him.  I put everything into him, my hopes, my dreams, my love, but it did nothing for him.  He was his father’s child, idealistic, brash, foolish, and I couldn’t stand to see him become the man who had stood in opposition to me for so long ago.  Abel returned from what I had thought to be an early and violent grave. He offered me escape, and unable to watch as I had, I took it.  I left my son alone to suffer at the hands of a man more broken even than myself.  I left him to repeat the cycle.

            “And that is life, an endless, hopeless loop set on repeat.  Nothing but youth, hope, disappointment, dissolution, and when we’re too tired to carry on, death.”

            Shana was hugging her knees as Deidra finished her story.  Looking on the woman, her skin young, her eyes ancient, Shana had trouble seeing her as a mother.  The image didn’t fit.  Shana’s own mother wasn’t warm, but she was there.  Shana thought that a mother should do at least that much.

            She looked forward and, after thought, said, “I don’t think that’s fair.  You said all of these things where why you left, but how old was he at the time? And what did you do to help?  I mean, sure, maybe he might turn out like his father.  Maybe his dad was pushing all of these expectations on him, but were you any different by wanting him to be something else than what he was?”

            Deidra remained quiet.

            “I’m here right now,” Shana said, “And I’m not here for myself.  I’m here for Alex, and for Ellen, and for that little girl I don’t even know.  Abraham, wasn’t it?  I’m here fighting, and I find meaning in that.  Like I said, maybe it’s an illusion, but it is my choice to believe in it.  You can go on thinking that life is meaningless, but I have decided to give it meaning.  I’d rather do that than just sit around and wait for death.”

            “That is foolish.”

            They fell silent.  Shana rested her head on her knees.  “Maybe,” she said.  “Your kid, do you know what ever happened to him?”

            Deidra looked at her and nodded.  “In a sense.”

            “And? Did he turn out just like his father?”

            Deidra allowed a smile.  “I saw him only briefly,” she said, “But from what I could tell, he was so much more.”

 

: Covenant :

 

            Isaac and Crest stood staring even as Alex and Ellen made their explosive escape.  Isaac’s firm grip on his chakrams left his hands stiff.  The blades of each discus gleam in the torch light.  “Who are you?”

            Crest flashed his teeth in a snarl.  “I have no true name, though you may call me Crest for now, though you won’t have long to say it.”

            “I won’t let you hurt them.”

            “You should be more worried about yourself, boy.  Your friends will die in their own time.  You, however, you, I want to kill personally.”

            “Go ahead and try.”

            “Oh, I will!”

            The Cathedral’s crown exploded into a burst of light and a spray of shadows.  Isaac sailed from the light, with Crest following just after, a solid stream of shadows trailing in his wake.  Debris from the explosion landed in chunks around Alex and Ellen.  The two of them stumbled across the bridge as heavy blocks of black stone rocked its fountain.  The stonework of the bridge fractured under their feet as they shuffled along.  Ahead, they could see the dull grey of the dome and knew it to be their only source of safety.

            A spiraling hunk of stone came sailing toward them.  Alex saw it and dropped her end of the gem, leaving Ellen to stumble into the guard rail as they fumbled about.  Leaping, Alex conjured her Voice and, words echoing through her, split the stone in a flash of light.  A thin trail of glowing, molten stone dripped red as it parted around them and landed harmlessly on each side of them.  Alex landed and smiled back at Ellen, who clung to the railing while grasping her chest.

            “Warn me next time!”

            “Right, sorry.”  Alex let her Vsoice fade as she stood.  “Come on.  We need to get going while we can.”

            “God, my back is killing me.”  Ellen took the front of the gemstone.  “I wish there was a better way to do this.  Maybe if we could get it open, we could just pull her out and carry her instead of it.”

            “Maybe, but we should escape first before anyone else shows up to stop us.”  Alex pointed ahead.  “We’re almost to the end.”

            Ellen wiped the sweat from her forehead and nodded. “Then let’s hurry.”  Leaning down, she wrapped her arms around the smooth, rounded edges of the gem and waited for Alex to do the same.  With Alex seizing it, they stood together and scrambled toward the exit.  “How will we tell them that we’re back? Should we just knock on the dome when we get there? Do you think they would even hear us if we did?”

            “I’ll cut my way out if I have to.”

            Above them, the sky parted.  The grey steel of the dome peeled away to reveal the golden twilight surrounding it.  The canyon lit up in the burning haze of light.  The landscape writhed around them.  The cathedral behind Ellen faded as the sunlight hit it, the dark brickwork turning to orange-brown stone.  The bridge did the same.  No longer stone-laid, it was a dusty land bridge that led their way out.

            Alex smiled across the gemstone at Ellen.  “Then again, maybe the problem will just solve itself.”

            Turning the gem sideways, they looked ahead together and found Shana waiting, hugging Deidra, who cried softly into her shoulder.

 

: Covenant :

 

            He opened his eyes and stared with an absent expression at the dark sky above.  A thin layer of dust had collected on his body as he slept.  Standing, he shook the dust off and regarded his surroundings with haughty indifference.  He was above it all, separated, distinct, and entirely actualized.

            He had stood tall since youth, but his bearing had become titanic.  His presence made mountains sink.  His gaze bore holes through steel.  Somewhere else in the Emotion, they could feel him.  He could feel them, too, but it summoned nothing from him.  His focus was fixed on one thing.  It was all about to end.  His ambition was singular, and his convictions unshakable.

            Soon, Abel would become God.

33: Volume Four: Covenant, Chapter Seventeen: Covenant pt. 2, Eclipse

Chapter Seventeen: Covenant part two, Eclipse

 

            Alex and Ellen stopped together at the edge of the bridge.  They set Abraham to rest on the ground, and Ellen waited while Alex went to Shana’s side.  Shana held Deidra and rubbed the older woman’s back.  Quietly, at Shana’s side, Alex whispered to her.  “Shana?”  Shana looked up at her and smiled.  Alex smiled back at her.  “I see.”

            Deidra collected herself.  She looked up at Alex after wiping her eyes.  Breathlessly, she said, “Good.  I see that you’ve got her.”  She stood and adjusted her dress.  Looking past Ellen, she saw that a massive, orange stone face had appeared in the cathedral’s place and expressed no surprise at seeing it.  “Then, it is time for us to escape.”

            “Right.”  Alex pulled Shana up to her feet.  “Here, come help us with this.”

            Shana nodded and followed Alex to the gemstone.  With Ellen’s help, the three of them lifted the gem and followed Deidra.  Cornelius stepped into their vision, brow heavy and jaw set.  His armor gleamed in the unmoving twilight.  “You’re helping them now?” He spoke in a tone of hurt concern.

            “Yes, Cornelius.  I know it must confuse you, but they are good people.  Unlike Abel.  Unlike me.”  She sighed but stared him, unrelenting, in the eyes.  His gaze was stern, set like his jaw.  “My life may be hopeless,” she said, “But they are still young.  They still have a chance to make things right.  You don’t have to help us, but I do ask that you do not interfere.”

            Cornelius stood stiffly, his back straight, his fists balled.  “You would betray the master now, when he is so close to achieving his ends?”

            “This is not a betrayal,” she said.  “I helped him only because I saw no reason not to, but now I see a reason.”

            He snorted and shook, and then he kneeled in the dust, his head bowed, and a fist planted to the ground.  “I was charged with your protection, my lady, and I am bound to your service.”

            “Yes, I know this.”

            “And that means I must follow you, whatever path you take.”

            She went to him and lifted his gaze.  Their eyes met.  She caressed his cheek briefly, smiling as she did.  He blushed.  She thought to correct his course, to assure him that he need not do this, but kissed his forehead instead.  “Thank you, Cornelius.  I think you’ll feel better for this.”

            He stood and crossed his arms, the steel plates of his armor grinding with his movement.  “It is only my duty.”

            She nodded and turned to the three.  “We’ll need to move quickly and find somewhere that he won’t think to look.  Then, we will break open the covenant and…”

            The air grew still and heavy.  Everyone but Ellen strained to stand.  Their breaths came to them with effort.  Arms weak, Alex and Shana let Abraham fall, and Alex went to a knee in a fit of shaking coughs.  Deidra braced herself on her knees to remain standing.

            “Hurry.  We have to go now!”

            Ellen looked between the four, suddenly crippled by the air itself, and strained to pull the covenant up on her own.  “What’s happening?” She looked at Deidra, fresh fear blossoming in her face.  “What did you do to them?”

            “Nothing,” Deidra said.  “It is Abel.  He’s awake, and he is coming.”

 

: Covenant :

 

            Isaac redirected spiritual energy into the soles of his feet as he fell to softened his landing.  Dust kicked up around him as he hit.  The hard stone beneath him cracked under his weight, but he held strong and stood as Crest descended at the other end of the canyon, using shadows to break his own fall.  The canyon wall broke and fractured as Crest used it to slow himself and, upon his landing, stood in a writhing mass of darkness that swirled around him in agitation.

            The sky split open.  Golden light spilled it.  It caught the walls and bounced back into the twilight.  The canyon seemed suddenly set ablaze.  The shadows waned around them and faded, returning only at Crest’s command.  He growled as he regarded the light.  “The witch turned traitor! I knew I should have killed her while the master slept.”  He fixed his gaze on Isaac.  “My work won’t end with you, then.”

            Isaac sneered at him.  The dust settled around them, and Isaac held his chakrams so hard that his fingers numbed.  A battle, this battle, was the last thing he wanted.  Riis’ lifeless body floating in the blood-clouded water of the university was fresh in his mind, but Ellen was more important.  This was the only way he could protect her, and so he would do it.

            Crest extended his hand and moved his fingers.  The shadows followed him, dancing around him, their own long fingertips stretching forward and cutting into the canyon walls.  “This place will be your grave, boy.”  He said it with manic glee, his face expanding and emoting more with each passing moment.  A growing lack of inhibition was degrading him.  His madness left Isaac feeling sick.  “I’ll kill you and leave you.  He’s awake now, so none of it matters.  None of us matter!”

            Isaac stayed quiet and tried hard not to tense.  He watched Crest and waited for the coming strike, focusing all of his spirit into his Voice and letting it flow through him from there.  He created an ongoing circuit of energy which he could tap at a moment’s notice.  They watched each other in the hazy twilight, the sun casting long shadows before and behind them.  Crest moved first, jabbing forward with his hands and sending the shadows surging ahead.  A series of dark spears formed from the inky darkness and crossed the vast, dusty expanse of the canyon floor.

            Isaac jumped away, finding purchase on a jutting stone halfway up the canyon wall and hopped off of that.  The spears followed him, gouging out the earth where he stood and fracturing the stone just as he escaped.  Many more followed him, hopping from point to point along the canyon wall and leaping up at him in the air.  Isaac made a series of jumps up to the stone surface where the cathedral had once been and bounced away from the canyon’s edge.  The shadows followed, punching a trail of holes after him.

            Crest laughed madly from the canyon base.  “Is that all you can do? Run like a child afraid of the dark?”

            Isaac leaped off of the other side and slid down the far wall of the canyon.  He slowed his descent by driving a chkram blade into the stones and riding it down.  As he fell, he took the time to catch his breath.  The shadows receded, returning to Crest, where they writhed violently, reacting to his growing madness.

 

: Covenant :

 

            Deidra lifted her dress and turned sharply to the three women behind her.  “We must hurry!  Abel will be on his way!”

            Ellen, the only one of them able to stand, strained to lift the covenant on her own.  “Maybe we could talk to him? You know, reason with him?”

            Deidra gave a long, silent stare.  “Girl, are you mad?  Talk to him?”

            “What? It worked last time.  I was making real progress with that lady inside until that crazy guy showed up.”  Deidra scoffed, and Ellen, dropping the covenant, gave a pointed frown.  “Well, it’s not like you have any real solutions.  Besides, if we can talk him down then we can solve all of this and no one needs to get hurt, right?”

            “Wrong.  Abel has no heart to appeal to anymore.  He has no morals left, and no amount of pleading or propositioning will change him.  He wants her.  He NEEDS her to achieve his ends, and that is all that he has left in him—his purpose.  There is no reasoning with him.”

            Holding her frown, Ellen sighed and relented, seizing the covenant and looking in Abraham’s sleeping form inside.  She was small and peaceful, at rest inside of its red amber form. Alex, gathering herself, touched Ellen’s shoulder.  She was covered in sweat and struggling for breath, but she bore a weak smile.  “Don’t worry,” she said.  “We’ll be fine.”  When Ellen nodded, Alex turned to Shana and helped her to standing.  “If we all do this together, then we will get out before he gets here.”

 

: Covenant :

 

            Isaac bounded over encroaching shadows and landed on a large stone at the center of the canyon.  It shattered beneath his feet, shadows appearing through freshly formed cracks. Writhing darkness fractures the stonework, following him through the air while the rubble cascades down the cliffside and gathers at the canyon base.

            Moving like liquid, the shadows part around him and then form together, capturing him and pulling him back down with titanic strength.  Isaac meets the compressing darkness with his right chakram, which flashes brightly on contact.  He is brought back down to the earth, landing on both feet and planting them on contact.  The hard rock beneath him breaking on impact, but he stands firm, warding off the tightening shadows.

            Crest conjures greater darkness, producing shadows in two thin waves which he weaves together into a lightless, spiraling point.  It spins, meeting the previous darkness and punching through.  Isaac narrowly reacts, leaping out of the way as the shadows slice into his side and tear his jacket apart.  He rolls to a stop nearby, holding his wound briefly before drawing the strength required to stand.

            He readied his chakram again, catching another blow but stumbling under the force.  Dark tendrils spilled off around him, eating away at the earth around his feet.  Isaac adjusted his footing and rooted himself, channeling his energy back into his right chakram and echoing the words which his soul speaks to him.

            In morning the sun rises gold, bringing with it great glory.

            His right chakram, smaller and rounded, without a blade and with a four-barred grip at its center, gave off faint, grey dawn light.  He released it, and the light, pulsing, suspended it in the air as it gathered.  It floated over him, leaving light where it moved, and then projected a golden dome of light around him that repulsed the darkness with repeated, cascading waves.  The shadows receded, gathering around Crest and fanning at his back.

            Inside of his dome of light, Isaac kneeled and clutched his side, focusing on the pain and breathing through it.  Crest watched him outside, grinning viciously, arms crossed, cruel amusement written across his features.  Isaac palmed his wound and then stood through the pain.  “Why are you doing this?”

            Crest’s grin grew thin and feral.  His face distorted in a mask of sheer, agonized madness.  It looked to Isaac like Crest was bearing his fangs.  “Why? Because this is what I am.  A killer. A MURDERER!”

            Isaac swallowed.  The bleeding had eased as his healing improved.  The wound burned, and so did his limbs.  He was drawing heavily on his own energy, feeding it to his body to accelerate his healing and to keep him at pace with his enemy.  The shield was draining him fast, though, and soon he wouldn’t even have enough left to run.  He couldn’t escape anyway.  He was sure that wherever he went, Crest would follow.

            “I am a shadow, boy, a dark shadow cast by the light of perfection.  I am Abel’s darkness, his imperfections, the refuse left when he formed covenant with the lady.  To become God, Abel had to purge himself of—Well, of everything that used to make him human.  He had to become pure, and I…”  Crest raised his hands with wild theatrics, screaming to the sky.  “I am what is left!  I am the darkness of the human heart! I am the truth of the human condition!  Id without restraint.  Garbage left behind by a hedonist seeking to become God!”

            The shadows parted around Crest, boiling in his madness.  Isaac’s chakram dimmed, and he caught it from the air.  “And you’re okay with that?”

            Crest glared and laughed.  His voice caught on the canyon walls and echoed around them.  “Okay?  Am I okay with it? Does it matter? Life is what it is, you spoiled fool!  I am a husk, empty and alone, filled only with the darkest parts of a god.  Which, in a way, would make me the devil himself, wouldn’t it?”

            The shadows around Crest surged.  They sprang to life, swirling with a new madness all their own.  They writhed into a helix around him and sharpened into multiple points, floating in his periphery.  He laughed, and he laughed, and he had tears rolling down his cheeks as the pain consumed him.  “But don’t you worry your tiny little heart over me.  I was born this way; I was raised in darkness!”

            The shadows pulsed and lunged, each twisting in the air as they went for Isaac’s throat.

 

: Covenant :

 

            Alex, Shana, and Ellen followed Deidra up a hill.  Cornelius led them, his blade drawn, his plates scrapping with his movements.  The covenant had grown bulky and slick; their palms were wet with perspiration and losing grip.  Abel’s presence weighed on all of them, save for Ellen alone, who was leading the three with powerful ignorance.

            Increasingly, Alex felt futility in running.  No matter how far they ran, Abel’s presence remained ubiquitous.  It slowed them, thick as mud, and made the air solid as granite.  She could hardly breathe for it, and with each passing moment his gravity grew more real.  Wheezing and struggling to keep pace with her leggy, blond friend, she rasped, “How much farther?”

            “I don’t know,” Deidra wheezed, Abel’s approach affecting her similarly, “We just keep running until the territories change.”  She didn’t look back as she spoke.  Her dress dragged the earth, gathering dust on the hem, growing more tarnished with her movements.

            Ahead, a tall man appeared from the air.  They stopped.  His hair was a dark veil cascading down his white robes.  His face was an inexpressive mask.  He looked almost like a statue to them, save for the subtle movement of his nostrils and the even subtler movement of his chest.  His dark eyes betrayed no murder nor mercy.  In fact, they showed nothing at all.  “Give me the lady,” he said, his voice a calm monotone.  His lips hardly seemed to move at all.

            Alex shook, legs weak, and dropped the covenant.  Behind her, Shana fell to her knees.  They had been feeling him for minutes, but standing directly before him was so much worse.  Existing became a struggle in his presence.  It took all of their effort just to keep breathing.  Alex managed a few steps, clutching her chest, and wheezed her response.  “No.  I won’t let you hurt her.”

            Abel looked at her, and through her, and he said, “I will not hurt her.”

            “Damn right you won’t.”  Alex strained to breathe.  Each exhale was forced from her lungs.  She called her Voice.  It appeared around her wrist, blade extending, and she held it out in front of her.  It gleamed dully, as if even the light slowed before Abel.

            He regarded her calmly.  “If you insist on fighting, I will kill you.  Give me the covenant.”

            Alex swallowed.  Sweat poured down her.  It hurt to lift her arms.  Her vision blurred, and she swore for a moment that Abel had black, leather-like wings, but when she blinked, they were gone.  “No,” she said.  “No, I won’t let you take her.  We’re going home.  All of us!”

            “I see.  That is unfortunate.”

 

: Covenant :

 

            Shadows descended from the sky like rainfall, crumbling the earth where Isaac stood.  He appeared from the rising dust, sailing through the air, and landed breathlessly away from harm.  Dust kicked up around him.  There was a new tear at his jacket, around his shoulders, where he had been touched by the darkness.  Fresh blood soiled his shirt.

            A tongue of darkness lashed out and licked the ground, crushing what it touched.  Isaac fled, leaping and landing a few feet  away before stumbling to a stop.  His head was loose, his blood thinning.  He fell to his knees, holding the canyon wall for support as the shadows followed him.  He lifted his right chakram and deflected it with a sphere of light.  The shadows bit into the canyon wall nearby.

            “Come now, Isaac, this just won’t do.”  Crest sauntered forward, his boots clicking on the hard, dusty stones with each step.  He was smiling in hunger.  “If all you do is run, then you’ll never make it out alive.  To win now, you’ll have to kill me.  Nothing you haven’t done before though, right?”  Crest growl and thrust his palm forward.  The shadows around him surged, churning the soil they moved.

            Isaac rolled to the side and down a small hill, stopping when a large slab of solid stone caught him.  He heard a pop and felt two of his ribs snap.  Wheezing, he pulled himself to standing and held his side as pain shot through him.  The earth came up fast, and he caught himself on a knee and balanced against the stone.  He was like this when his shadow betrayed him, passing over him in a series of small blades, blood following after it.  He pushed himself from his support and sprinted away.

            Isaac thought to stop, to turn and finish the battle, but Riis’ face flashed in his mind.  He saw her pale skin and pale eyes.  He saw the cloud of blood that spread through the water around her.  He had taken a life before, and he didn’t want to do it again.

            Each footfall brought pain.  Blood ran down his face and neck.  It saturated his clothes.  He planted his foot and turned, intending to give a half-hearted effort.  He threw his chakram.  It spun through the air, sliding along the surface of the fanning shadows.  The shadows receded to reveal Crest’s vicious smile.  “There we go, boy!  So, you do have some fight left in you!”

            Isaac drew a deep breath and called his chakram back.  He caught it in his left hand and shouted, “How’s this for a fight!”  Throwing both, he sent them flanking and charged up the center. 

Crest laughed and flexed his hand, churning the shadows around them before summoning them at his sides.  The shadows erupted around him, knocking the chakrams up but never intercepting Isaac’s approach.  When he was close enough, Isaac balled his fist and leapt forward.  Crest lifted one hand and the shadows swirled around him and slammed into Isaac’s chest, throwing him back. 

Isaac bounced across the earth before sliding to a stop.

Crest lifted his hand and called the shadows into a flat curtain above him.  “If you won’t even try, then I am wasting my time.”  The shadows spread like smoke around him, diluting the sunlight.  He brought his hand down, and the darkness hardened into sphere and fell from the cloud, leaving an inky contrail in their wake.

Isaac called his Voice to him and pressed them together.  He conjured his shield and watched the earth around him dissolve.  The storm of shadows gradually depleted, leaving Isaac surrounded in a ring of tiny craters.

He slumped, energy fading.  What was left in him was forced into the pumping of his heart and the rattling breathes he stole.  His father had taught him to fight, to meditate, to control his power.  At a young age, Isaac had learned to knit his wounds closed with focus, but these wounds were deep, and each rushed movement tore them back open.

He watched Crest watching him, the other man smiling.  He wanted something from Isaac, wanted what Isaac refused to do, and he wouldn’t kill Isaac until he knew for certain that Isaac could not give it.  His plan was to leave Isaac with no recourse.  Isaac winced and pushed himself to a slouch, and then he closed his eyes and focused.  The words echoed through him, and he spoke them carefully.

The sun rises red, a screaming soul of fire burning the sky!

One chakram gleamed while the other remained inert.  He threw the one which shined and counted after.  One-one-thousand and it built speed; two-one-thousand and it shined brighter, its glow growing sinister; three-one-thousand and he threw the second; at four-one-thousand, he charged.

Crest frowned in response.  “This game again? I suppose you didn’t learn.”  He lifted his hand and gathered the shadows in his palm, and then he sent them forward with elemental force.  Their attacks met, and Isaac’s chakram tore through the darkness, casting the shadows aside.  It cut a deep path before the current swallowed it.  Losing momentum, and light, the chakram spun out and dug into the ground.

The second chakram flipped on contact with the shadows.  Stopping in a vertical position, it released a wave of light that stopped the shadows.  Isaac met it and taking hold of its grip pushed his way forward.  He used his spirit to push through his pain and, once in range, dropped the shield and leapt over the shadows.

Isaac spiraled through the air and called his chakram back from the dust.  On landing, he caught Crest across the palm and left a deep gash in his hand.  The shadows fell like liquid but without mass.  Isaac spun again and this time wedged his blade into Crest’s chest.

They stopped together, Isaac panting, Crest smiling.  Blood oozed out between Crest’s teeth.  He staggered back while the shadows receded, dissolving into the sunlight and returning to from where they came.  Isaac jerked the chakram out and then stepped forward, driving both into Crest’s collar bone.

Isaac felt light-headed.  More than that, he felt wrong.  There was fresh blood on his hands, wet and warm.  He stared Crest in the eyes.  “That good enough for you?”

Crest stared, gasping and grunting, and then began to cry.  Grabbing Isaac’s wrist, he held onto him like a child.  “Yes.  Finally.  Do it.  Kill me now.”

Isaac wrested his hand away and let Crest fall.  He watched the blood pool beneath him.  “What?”

“Kill me now.  I want to die.  I have to die!”

“Why? Why would you want that?”

“Because this is a half existence.  I am a mistake, just the discarded longing of a mad man.  I am his regret.  His sorrow.  His pain.  His guilt.  I am his sins and his repentance.  I am everything that he ever held back.  The Emotion took those discarded things and made them real, and they made me.  I was never meant to exist.  I am nothing, nothing at all but a sad little mistake.”

Isaac stood over him.  He watched Crest cry and bleed into the dirt, and he gripped his chakram tight.  With a wet, raspy breath, Isaac gathered himself and kneeled.  “I can’t,” he said.  “I can’t kill you.”

“You can.  You’ve killed before, so you can do it again.”  Crest whined and grasped at Isaac’s pants.  “You have to.  I can’t go on like this.  If you leave me now, then you will never be safe. I will hunt you.  I will kill you.  I will make you suffer!”  His voice was strained, desperate, no longer possessed by malice.  He was begging.  “You have to.  This is such a pitiful existence.”

“No.  I won’t.  I can’t do it.”

“Then you’ll die!”  Crest lifted his uninjured hand and conjured an ethereal needle made of nothing.  He grabbed it and lunged forward, meeting the sharpened point of Isaac’s chakram on the way.  His throat parted.  Fresh blood gushed out of the wound and across the blade.  Isaac sat rigid, a pin-prick of darkness hovering only inches from his eye.  Crest laughed.

The shadows parted, peeling away in wisps of smoke.  Crest fell.  Isaac stared, watching the life leave him.  There was no blood this time, just light and darkness.  Despite this, Isaac felt dirtier than ever.

With Crest gone, Isaac stood and stared up the cliff face.  He could feel Abel up above, and he knew the battle wasn’t over.

 

: Covenant :

 

Alex shuffled forward, putting herself in front of everyone else.  Deidra grabbed at her shoulder on the way, but Alex jerked free from her, her Voice fixed before her and trying desperately to remember everything she had learned to that point.  She had fought Goliath, and survived Carolyne, and she tried her best to think of Abel as just another opponent standing in her way.

It didn’t work.  He stared at her, empty and unfeeling.  “This is my last offer.  Reconsider.”

“Hell no!”

“So be it.”

Alex told herself not to hesitate.  She took initiative, moving first, her blow meant to maim, not to kill.  The tip of her blade drifted sideways, aiming for his shoulder, but she missed wide.  Her attack sailed harmlessly past him.

Abel flexed his left hand and from the air produced his Voice, a dark spear bearing the emblem of a demonic face upon the neck, where the blade met the shaft.  The tip shifted in color, at times gleaming a sinister red before fading into a prismatic blue.  The air around the weapon bulge and fluttered.

From standing, he lunged, a smooth clean motion that drove his weapon into Alex below the sternum.  He tore through her like paper, the sharpened point of his blade exiting through her back and moving a foot out of her.  His Voice only narrowly missed her spine.

Alex jerked, faulted.  To start, she felt nothing.  The pain came after.  It was brief and replaced only by a fullness in her chest.  She glanced down and watched him withdraw the weapon.  She watched blood and bone leaving her body and then, unsupported, she fell.

She hit the ground and kept falling.  The world grew hazy.  She was cold and, without his spear inside of her, suddenly empty.  Her senses faded slowly, likes candles being snuffed.  Touch went first, and then sight, and then smell, and as the taste of copper faded, she heard Shana scream.  Then, she heard nothing at all.

34: Volume Four: Covenant, Chapter Eighteen: Covenant, part 3 Grace, the Divine, and the End

Chapter Eighteen: Covenant part 3 Grace, the Divine, and the End

Shana couldn’t move.  She dropped the covenant and collapsed to the ground beside it.  There, she sat panting even while Alex approached.  She watched, wide-eyed and weak, as Alex and Abel traded words.  Then, she watched, impotent and frightened as a child, as they came to blows.  It happened instantly, Alex’s wide lunge missing entirely and her back exploding after.  Blood and bone poured from the wound.  Motionless and taut, time froze in a tense silence.  Abel withdrew, his spear head receding like a storm cloud.  Alex jerked forward and, without the support, fell.

The silence lifted, and Shana screamed.  She screamed shrill and high, and though she could feel it raw in her throat, she could hardly believe it was her own voice.  Outside of her body, she watched herself claw at the dust and willed her legs to move but couldn’t.  Locked in place, she watched Alex fall, revealing Abel and his blood-stained spear to full view.

Alex lay motionless, her body becoming a bloody smear of limbs and little else.  She didn’t even breathe.  Her eyes were glassy and pale, turned toward the dust, unmoving, unblinking as Abel stepped over her.

Ellen stood to meet him.  She stepped forward, and Shana’s vision was obscured by long legs and thin arms.  Though she looked in better health than the others around her, Ellen was still pale.  She extended her arms and stood before Abel, rooted like a tree.  To Shana, she looked more like a child staring down a tornado.

Abel stopped and angled his spear up and toward her.  The blood gathering at the tip reversed and left a thin red line across his fingers.  “Move,” he said.

Ellen glared back at him.  “No.  I don’t really understand any of this, but I know one thing: I won’t let you take her.”

“Fine.”  He moved again, and it was as fluid as before.  From standing, Abel put all of himself into the thrust.  His spear was a precise, deadly flash of liquid red and gleaming silver.

Shana’s spine tickled.  A voice whispered into her ear.  Sad, anxious, and urgent, it reminded her of how Alex died and begged her to intervene.  Shana agreed, and this time she moved, too.  Heart’s Song appeared in her hand and, spinning, she caught Abel’s spearhead and knocked it off course.  Her arms ached.  Hitting his spear was, in her mind, the equivalent of hitting a semi with a baseball bat, but she managed to knock his thrust off by just under a foot.

Abel hardly seemed to notice.  He simply continued his movement, spiraling around and lunging again.

 

: Covenant :

 

Isaac waited until Crest’s body was gone, watching it fade into the twilight until nothing was left of it, not even the shadows.  He had hoped that it would give him some comfort, but Crest’s passing left him with nothing more than a growing hole in his heart.  What hurt most was how much easier it had been to kill a second time.

He started toward the cliffs, toward where Abel’s overwhelming presence loomed.  Within the maelstrom of power, he could feel the tiny specks, the droplets of strength tossed about by the storm that raged around them.  He could feel Ellen within that, an absence of power, utterly normal and without safety.  He could feel his mother as well, still guarded but with the door to her heart now opened a fraction more than it once had been.

The canyon wall was flat and high.  Ignoring his fatigue, Isaac gathered his breath and started the climb up.  He used his chakrams, stabbing their bladed edges into the sheer surface and used his feet to hold him in place.  His arms ached, but he pulled himself up a few feet at a time.

The raging battle above him escalated.  Two powers clashed and one was swallowed and snuffed.  Adrenaline pushed him through his fatigue and drove him higher through his exhaustion.  With a final grunt, he lifted himself up onto the flatten crest of the canyon’s crown.  He arrived to find Abel, a giant of a man, bearing down upon a voluptuous blonde he did not recognize, who stood between Abel and his intended target, Ellen.  Deidra and Cornelius watched from the side, looking impotent before Abel’s undeniable might.

Abel moved more quickly than Isaac could follow.  His Voice howled, splitting the wind with each thrust.  Isaac, without time to hesitate, poured himself into his Voice and threw, shouting the words which came to him from his heart.

Sun rising red, a screaming soul of fire burning the sky!

His chakram flashed with red flame and sparked on contact with Abel’s spear.  It hit with enough force to deter the next incoming thrust before spiraling off and embedding itself into the ground.  The tension in the air eased and everyone fixed their gazes on Isaac’s entry.  Abel eyes were hollow without whatever he poured into Crest to give them light. 

Ellen, on the other hand, brightened at his appearance. “Isaac!”  She allowed a small, tired smile to blossom on her face. 

The woman before her chanced only a glance but didn’t linger.  She instead lifted her hammer and planted her feet in front of Ellen.  “Now it’s four on one!  If we work together, we can take him!” As she spoke, she stepped in toward him, swinging hard and bringing her hammer around toward Abel’s head.  He sidestepped before the blow could land and lunged as he retreated.

The attack was interrupted.  Cornelius intercepted, planting his feet and swinging for Abel’s torso.  Abel had to respond quickly to block the attack, twirling his spear around and using the dark wooden shaft to catch Cornelius’ blade.  Time froze with their weapons locked as everyone held their breath, and then Abel gave a gentle shove and sent Cornelius stumbling.

And thus He spoke, and the weight of His words shall crush you.

Shana closed distance and attacked from the side.  The front of her Voice shined like the dawn.  She meant to knock Abel’s head clean from his shoulders, but her swing was slow and far too wide.  Abel ducked under and aimed his spear at her abdomen as he stood.

The spearpoint stopped inches away from her flesh, the air screeching around it like steel on steel.  Deidra stood, arms raised, wincing and shaking under the strain of her barrier.  Isaac, seeing the distraction, recalled his chakram and staggered forward.  The battle below and the climb after had worn him thin.  Even with the adrenaline pounding in his temples, he felt slow and struggled for breath.  Gathering his strength, he heaved a chakram at Abel’s throat to end it quickly but missed.

As Isaac’s chakram sailed by, Abel tilted his head and allowed another attack from Cornelius to pass with similar ease.  Momentum carried Cornelius forward, into Abel’s reach.  Abel grabbed him by the arm and tossed him away, spiraling around and between Ellen and Shana and toward Abraham behind them.  Shana followed him, but he stopped hard and caught her with his shoulder. 

The force of their contact knocked Shana’s feet from under her and Abel, using his spear like a catapult, jettisoned her toward the edge of the cliff.  Shana sailed and landed, sliding to a stop with little more than a thin trail of pebbles and dust between her and the canyon floor.  Ellen, meanwhile, put herself back in his path and regretted it.  With no one else between them, she watched Abel’s approach in slow motion, his eyes empty and unfeeling, stopping suddenly only inches from her, a slight shimmer surrounding his body.

Abel grunted and shook before giving a brief glance around. He found Deidra nearby, hands raised and body shining with sweat.  With a concentrated frown, Abel forced his foot forward and the light around him faded.  Deidra fell forward, her barrier was shattered.  He couldn’t move far before Shana returned, leaping toward Abel with her hammer overhead.  This time, he caught her Voice by the haft with his open palm and held her in suspended in the air.  Angling his spearpoint up, he thrust, and the air wailed as his Voice slid off another invisible wall.  Deidra cringed and vomited.

Looking now toward Deidra, Abel tossed Shana aside and returned his attention to Ellen, who now held the covenant and protected it with her body.  He stopped at her side and towered over her as a mountain does an ant.  His Voice gleamed with the remains of Alex’s blood as he stared at her and through her, to the covenant that consumed his focus.  She was nothing to him at this point, not even a corpse.  He lifted his weapon, and he prepared to kill.

 

: Covenant :

 

Wherever Alex went after she died, she wasn’t unhappy.  She felt no pain there, nor hurt, nor sadness, nor loss of any kind.  In fact, she eventually came to realize that she felt nothing at all.  An infinite nothingness surrounded her, a waiting void gaping just beyond her reach with no sense of urgency to reach it.  The void breathed around her in its nothingness, passing in and out of her and through her like the tide.

            Things echoed in the nothingness, reverberating along the void.  They took shape and became the likeness of her, and she became them.  Alex then realized how limited the human perception is, fragmented by sense and experience.  In death, however, she saw the undiluted truth.  Everything was connected, vast, and multifaceted.  This understanding was wasted on her, though, if for no other reason than her being dead.

            “Alex!”  A thought echoed through the void, seeking her.  She felt it, became it, and acknowledged it.

            “Abraham.”  Alex gave this thought form, not by her own will, but by what lingered of her will.  A spark which simply refused to be snuffed.  From nothing, Abraham’s tiny body appeared, wrapped in all colors and also in none of them.  She seemed smaller now, smaller than even before, to the point of being microscopic.  Despite this, Alex could see every aspect of her in fine detail, seeing things now that she didn’t know existed, and she experienced them, also, and she became them, too.

            “You’re dead, Alex.”

            “I know, but that’s fine.  I’ve died before.  What are you, by the way, with all of those colors inside of you?”

            “It’s different this time.  This time, I don’t know that I can save you.”  Every word Abraham spoke gave birth to new things.  Colors formed from the ether, appearing as sounds and tastes both new and unfamiliar.  She seemed somehow guilty, though Alex didn’t understand why.  “Last time, when you were dying in the material realm, I rescued you and pulled you into the Emotion.  Pulling your physical body into a meta-physical plane of existence allowed your soul to draw on the ambient energy of the world around you and heal you.  It used the spiritual energy here in the atmosphere to mend your physical wounds and accelerate your recovery.”

            “I see,” Alex said, and she did.  She saw everything in her enlightenment.  More than that, she understood, too.

            “But these wounds weren’t aren’t just physical.  Your soul has suffered considerable trauma.  That is how it works, in the Emotion.  By being here in between, the damage done to you is similarly two-fold, and this time it might be fatal, because Abel didn’t simply stab your body.  He impaled your soul.”

            If Alex had shoulders, then she would have shrugged.  Her life seemed very far away from her, being less than a grain of sand on the beaches of reality.  By that point, she was hardly even a thought, and she was becoming less with each passing second.  Then, she remembered Shana, and she lingered.  “How are the others?”

            “They are unwell.  By this point, Abel is a monster, hollow and entirely without mercy.  He has no humility, no pride, nothing at all to make him human.”

            “Sounds dead, too.”

            “He is less than that, even, empty in his body and his soul.  He did it so that he could accept me, and he will go through all of them to get to me, if he has to.”

 

: Covenant :

 

            Ellen stood, arms out and eyes forward, her body between Abel and Abraham.  He approached her slowly and without emotion.  Ellen screamed, “I won’t let you take her!”  She tried hard to keep from shaking and failed.  Alex already died in front of her, and the others were struggling to keep pace with him.

            Abel took a step and led with his lance.  Each movement was a blur, but before the blow could land, Isaac appeared in front of her.  He winced in anticipated pain but instead heard the crack of spiritual steel against solid air.  Warmth spread across his back.  He opened his eyes and found Ellen, buried into his shoulder, shaking as she stared ahead.  She had gone pale and stiff.

            She whispered his name as he turned.  Deidra had put herself before him, her body curled forward with broken bone and fresh blood forced from her back by the intrusion of Abel’s spear.  The spearhead jutted well beyond Deidra’s broken body.  The air in front of her shimmered, and she held the shaft of his weapon tight with her bloody hands.  Abel tugged his weapon from her, and she fell backward into Isaac’s waiting arms.  They fell together, Isaac landing on his knees.

            “Why,” he whispered, holding her around the shoulders, forgoing any attempt to save her.  She was gone.  It would be a struggle even to breathe.  He clutched her even more tightly.  “Why would you do that?”

            Deidra smiled and touched his face, her fingers leaving bloody lines across his cheek.  “My shield wouldn’t hold.  I knew that, and I,” she coughed, hard, wet, fatally, “Children shouldn’t die first.”  Then, sadly, as an apology, she said, “I love you, Isaac.”

            “After everything you did, after leaving me alone with him.”  He hugged her, cradling her corpse.  “Now, you’re leaving me again.”

            Nearby, Cornelius screamed and charged Abel with his blade up and gleaming in the twilight.  Isaac watched them meet, and a single, short lunge ended it all.  Abel caught Cornelius in the face with his spearpoint and pinned him to the earth.  His head went one way, his body the other.  Then, Abel turned to them, covered in blood, expressionless.  “We are done now,” he said, and he took another step forward.

            This time Shana intercepted him, jaw tight and Voice ready.  Like Alex before her, she was now willing to give her life to save Abraham.

 

: Covenant :

 

            “I am sorry, Alex, but I need to ask you for another favor.”

            Abraham spoke with urgency, and Alex could feel it in her words. “Okay.”

            “At this rate it might be impossible to save you, but I can send you back for a time, and when I do, I need you to deliver a message for me.  Tell them to stop, to give me over to Abel.”

            Alex listened without judgement, save for a small part of her still tethered to her body.  This will be her way back, when Abraham is ready to send her, but it is also what caused her to hesitate.  This small part of her recoiled at the thought of surrendering to the man who killed her.  “Why,” she asked, “They’re fighting for you.  To protect you.”

            “They’re dying to protect me, and they’re dying for no reason.  I came to you because I was afraid of what Abel was, not of what he has become.  I am so much more than him, and I am sorry I ever burdened you to begin with.  Someday, maybe, you’ll understand what I mean, but a man is far more frightening when they care.  What he is now is nothing to me.  For now, even if you don’t understand, I need you to trust me.”

            Alex did understand, and she understood also that she wouldn’t always understand.  For then, she could see Abraham, the true Abraham, and knew that she was so much more than a little, frightened girl.  She was life, and she was the long shadow life cast.  In the afterlife, Alex realized, everything was so stark, simple, and clear.  It was attachment that warped perceptions, and perception warped everything else around it.

            “Okay,” Alex said, and she could feel Abraham’s joy.  It shined in the void.

            “Thank you, Alex, and thank you for everything you’ve done for me.  Everything you’ve sacrificed.  I am so sorry that it ever came to this.”

            “Don’t be.  I’m not.  It gave me something to live for.”

 

: Covenant :

 

            Abel stood with his lance ready, poised to strike.  The battle was already over.  Shana wasn’t even an obstacle between him and his goal.  She was nothing more than another body.  Isaac, the strongest of those remaining, was crouched beside him, holding his mother’s corpse and looking pale and weak.

            The blood on his spear pooled at the tip and fell.  He watched it with expressionless fascination and spoke without emotion or investment.  “In all this protest, this is what you achieve.  Failure and death.  I do not wish to kill you, or the Lady, and but I will have her.  I will change it, change everything, and become the god needed to set things right.”  His flat tone added weight to his words, but it lacked the conviction of a man who believes.  He looked at her, his eyes empty like the air.  “I will be a god who understands humanity.  Trust me.”

            Shana stared back at him, her disgust showing in the tightening of her brow and the grimace of her face.  “Trust you,” she said, her voice shaking.  “Trust you?  To be human?  Please!  You don’t have anything even remotely human left in you.  You’re empty, stuck here in your own little kingdom, plotting and planning and killing anyone in your way.  No. I won’t trust you, and I won’t let you become a god, because you’d be terrible at it.” Shana lifted her Voice, her knuckles white from holding to it so tightly.  Standing before him was a struggle.  Fighting him was a literal fight for her life.  It was hard to be brave in the face of death, but Alex’s memory demanded it.  She kept her feet planted.  “She would never forgive me if I gave up now.”

            “I will remove you.”

            “Go ahead and try.”

            That was when what remained of Alex coughed and rolled onto its back.  Choking, it sputtered until blood bubbled and ran out of its open mouth.  Its hair grew dark with old blood which had pooled beneath it, sticking the dirt to its scalp.  Shana paused, looking past Abel to Alex’s breathing corpse.  Color was returning to it.  Shana wanted to thank God and all of His angels, but it didn’t seem right.  She wasn’t ready to believe it was real.  She hazarded a hesitant, “Alex?”

            Ellen touched Shana’s shoulder and recoiled when she flinched.  “Go to her,” she whispered, and Shana looked back, nodded, and bounded away.  Ellen took her place, standing between Abel and the covenant as a human shield.  She knew that she couldn’t stop him for long, or at all, but she felt better about dying than doing nothing.

            Shana kneeled at Alex’s side and lifted her bloody head.  Alex’s flesh remained cold and pale, but there was warmth returning to her.  Alex’s eyes were slightly foggy.  Shana hugged her tight.  “Alex? Alex!  Please, tell me you’re alive.  Please!”

            Alex wheezed.  “Sort of.  Not much time.  Listen.  Tell Ellen.  Tell her to let go.  To give up Abraham.”

            Shana stammered, struggled for thought.  Everything had happened so quickly that the events were running together, smearing into a contradictory blur.  Tears ran down her cheeks as cold blood gathered in her palms.  “What? Alex, no.  What are you saying? Everything we’ve done, everything we’ve fought for to this point…Do you know what you’re saying?”

            “Yes.  I understand it all.  I can see.  Clearly.  Abraham.  She’s so much.  More than we understand.  It’s what she wants.  Trust her.”

            Shana looked up from Alex, to the waiting Ellen.  Abel watched.  They both did.  They could hear everything, and everyone was suspended in space, waiting to see what Alex would say next and what Ellen would do.  Shana fixed her eyes on the covenant.  “Alex, are you sure about this?”

            “She is.  I trust her.  You should, too.”

            Shana sighed.  “Okay,” she said, and she heard a faint breath and felt Alex go.  She set her to rest and closed her eyes.  When she looked up, she wiped her tears and found Abel waiting.  Ellen stood her ground.  She was crying now, too.

            “No.  I won’t back down.  This is a trick.  I don’t believe this.”

            Isaac frowned from where he squatted and set his mother’s body into the dust.  He stood beside Ellen and pulled her close.  She flailed and scratched against him, and he held her still until she fell, crying, into his chest.  He gave Abel a glassy-eyed stare that seemed out of place on him and said, “Just do it.”

            Abel watched, monetarily, and then nodded.  He willed his Voice away and made his approach.  Before the covenant, the red light it gave off casting dark shadows across his face, he pressed his palm to its smooth, shining surface.  It was warm to the touch and pulsed.  The light grew faintly, at first, and then shined.  The covenant slid open, light spilling now from its exposed innards, a bloody, blinding light.

            The covenant parted like fruit, and Abraham rose from within.  She stood, wet and naked, her childish body changing on contact with the air.  She grew tall and old, becoming a woman, perhaps even a mother, in the space of a breath.  Her hips blossomed.  Her skin gleamed.  Her figure was round and soft, and she radiated patient warmth and divine grace.

            Impossibly, she touched Ellen’s shoulder and whispered to her.  “It will be okay.”  Then, she turned to Abel and cupped his cheeks.  The air around her shifted, spiraling and twisting, catching her hair and making it dance like a crow’s feather caught on the wind.  “Everything will be okay.”

            Abel changed, too.  His eyes went dark and wide as everything rushed back to him.  Emotions washed over him like a torrential rain.  Confusion, hurt, surprise, anger, solitude, and loss, each sprang through him and swelled within him.  He felt each one acutely, and most of all, he felt.  Leaning forward, Abraham placed a single kissed upon his forehead, and he screamed.

            Light filled him.  It filled his skin, and his eyes, and his mind.  Since coming to the Emotion, his every thought was how to control her.  Only now, when he came to this point, did he realize that she was beyond control.  In his tempestuous emotions, he conjured his Voice and plunged it into her.  The earth splintered under his weight, the stones parting from his sheer force of will.  Abraham, however, remained unharmed.

            She replaced her lips with a single pale finger and brought him to his knees.  Kneeling with him, she hugged him, and Abel cried like a child into her bosom as he screamed.  “No. No!  NO!”  He repeated it as his mantra, and she shushed him patiently until he fell into a silence.  Once he was calmed, she smoothed his hair and soothed him.

            “Don’t you worry, darling.  Everything will be okay.  I understand you’re confused, and you’re frightened, and you’re so very ephemeral.  And I know you’re guilty, too, but I forgive you.” 

When she said that, it was all over.

 

: Covenant :

 

Again, Alex receded into her shapeless, formless self.  Warmth faded, and the light went with it.  Then, they returned.  Like the tide coming in, warmth and light seeped into her in slow pulses.  Her anxieties, her concerns, her happiness, her friendship, it all faded in and out.  She floated in the nothingness, but she could feel it all at the very edge of her perception.

She could feel Abraham, too, a tangible thing formed from the nothingness.  A dark curtain of hair obscured Abraham pale form.  She was a child again, but she moved with the poise of an adult.  Her eyes were large and dark, sparkling with the cosmos inside of them.  She smiled at Alex, and she spoke with all the gravity and weight of a world.  “Thank you, Alex.  Thank you so much.  You have done well.”

They hugged, formless and fully formed.  Alex felt the warmth again, and it was then that Alex realized the warmth she felt was Abraham surrounding her.  She realized also that Abraham smelled of flowers, and that reminded her of Alicia, and it made her smile.  “What happened to him after he opened the covenant?”

“He got what he wanted,” Abraham said, cradling Alex in her arms and in her heart.  “What he really wanted, I mean.  He had been confused for a long time, and hurt, too, but I set him on the right path.  Sometimes, people just need to be shown another path.”

“How did you do it?”

“I opened his heart, returned his emotions to him, and sent him on his way.”

“Sent him on his way?”

“Yes.”  Abraham ran her fingers through Alex’s hair.  Though she was smaller than Alex, she seemed more the adult between them. Abraham was safe and serene, and Alex wondered briefly if they were in heaven.  Abraham continued, “I returned him to where he began, to where we all began.”

“So, he died?”

Abraham laughed.  “Nothing dies, Alex.  It all just passes.”  She smiled.  “You should know that by now.”

Alex didn’t know, and she didn’t understand the distinction between the two, either.  Earlier she would have, she thought, and but her return to her body had left her feelings disorganized and her mind cluttered by sensation.  Everything that had made so much sense to her before seemed so far beyond her comprehension.  Even trying to remember how that felt, though, was more than she could handle, so she decided to let it go.  She turned her mind toward other things.  “And what about Shana? Did she pass, too? Where is she now?”

“No.  She went back to the physical world, where she belongs.  You should be there, too.”

“But, I thought I…”

Abraham put a finger to Alex’s lips.  “Thank you, Alex, for helping me.  And for being my friend.”  Then, Abraham released Alex to drift.  They floated together, watching each other, feeling each other.  Then, taking Alex’s cheeks, Abraham kissed her forehead and shoved her away.  They parted like ships at sea.

 

: Covenant :

 

The sheets were softer than Alex remembered, and the air in the room was crisp and cool.  Ellen kept it that way, needing the hum of the air conditioner to lull her to sleep at night.  Light slipped in through the slats of the blinds, adding a soft glow to the room’s interior.  Alex rolled onto her stomach, stretched, and thought that she could stand to miss her morning class.

Then, she jerked up, head-first, into the ceiling and gave a curse.  “What the hell?”  She winced, holding her head as she curled into a ball.  It hurt, and she felt every throbbing jolt.  She went wide-eyed.  “Wait.  I feel?”  Alex lifted her top, felt around her sternum, and found a long, thin scar where Abel had pierced her.  She released a sigh, brows knitted.

Next, she rolled onto her side to examine the dorm room.  It was both foreign and familiar.  She was alone in the early morning, lying in her bunk.  The wall hadn’t been exploded out across the field, nor were there any signs of damage or reconstruction.  Her body, she found upon closer examination, was largely whole and entirely unchanged, save for that single scar and the lingering memories.

She slid from the bed and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms.  Every part of her ached, like she had been sleeping for a week.  She attempted to stretch out the kinks and found only moderate success.  Outside, the halls were empty, as was the commons.  Her feet were cold against the slick, glossy tiles.  It was the weekend, she reasoned, as there were too few people there for it to be a weekday.  She went to the front door and found Ellen and Isaac outside at the smoking benches.  Isaac appeared to be crying while Ellen comforted him.

“Oh, you’re up.  Good.  I was feeling kind of weird just walking around on my own.”

Alex turned to find Shana there.  Like Alex, Shana was unharmed and showing no sign of adventure, except for the careful way in which she carried herself.  Alex hugged her on sight, grateful for the warmth of her touch and the smell of her skin.  Shana hugged her back, and they held each other’s arms after the embrace ended.

“So, it was all a dream,” Alex said, though her scar contradicted that.  Shana led her to the couch, and Alex settled beside her.

“You think so? I don’t know.  I just feel like, in my heart, it was real.”

Alex stared at the far wall in deep thought and decided Shana was right.  All of it was confused in her head, but all of it was there.  She knew, in her heart, she could trust her body and her mind, and she knew also that she could trust Shana, too.  The battles, the Emotion, her death, it had all happened.  She lifted her right hand and, if she stared long enough, could almost see Three Gods there, wrapped around her wrist.

“We all woke up together in your dorm room,” Shana said.  “Isaac was with us, too, but he left early and only just came back.  He and Ellen have been outside ever since.  I think something happened.”  She glanced at them through the window.  “Oh, and we checked the date while you were sleeping, and it’s only a few days before all of us were sent to the Emotion.”

“The a few days before?”

“Yeah.  Before he left, Isaac told Ellen that something similar had happened to him when he left the Emotion for a little bit, except he was sent even farther back, but I don’t think it’s exactly the same.”  Shana stretched her arms overhead and then sighed.  “Also, Isaac’s mom, well, she,” Shana picked at her fingernails as she spoke, “It seems like the people who died in the Emotion, well, they stay dead.”

Alex stared at the far wall still, and she thought of the scar under her shirt.  She wondered what Abraham did and how she did it.  Then, her mind caught up to the conversation, and her eyes went wide.  She jumped up from the couch and sprinted down the hall to Carolyne’s room.

 

: Covenant :

 

Three hours later, Alex and Shana joined Ellen and Isaac outside.  Together, the four of them watched the paramedics haul off the body.  Shana wore one of Alex’s long sweaters to keep the cold Spring air from nipping at her skin.  It fit her like a dress.  The police stayed only a moment longer.  Alex had answered all of their questions absently, as if passing through a dream.  They told her that they may contact her again, but that it seemed unlikely.  She stared at the dorm with blank acceptance, feeling but not letting herself be overwhelmed by the feelings.

Silence ruled, interrupted only by the stirring of the trees.  Isaac had calmed and now stared like Alex.  His eyes were red, and he seemed tired. Ellen held his hand.  Shana held Alex.

“So,” Ellen said after some time, “Carolyne is?”

“She passed in her sleep,” Alex said.  “The paramedics said they couldn’t determine the cause.  The coroner will have to figure it out.”  Alex squeezed Shana’s hand.  “But we know.”

“It’s all connected,” Isaac said.  His voice was rough and distant, lacking his usual energy.  “Our bodies, our souls, and our spirit.  If one goes, then the others just…”  He brought his hands together, knitting the fingers into a weave.  Then, he pulled them apart.  “Whatever is left just withers.”

Alex opened her mouth to speak.  She paused, licked her lips, and swallowed.  “Then how come I survived?”

Isaac looked at her.  So did everyone else.  His gaze was tired.  To her, he seemed older.  “I’m not sure.  From what I saw, I would have thought you would be gone.”

“You survived because you have something to live for,” Shana said, and she held Alex even tighter.

Alex laughed warily.  “I guess I do, even if I don’t know what that is right now.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Shana said.  “And that, by itself, is enough for now.”

35: Epilogue: Three Months Later

Epilogue: Three Months Later

 

: Previews & Popcorn :

            “Come on, come on, come on,” Alex said, her sandals clapping as she hurried down the sidewalk.  She had a large box tucked under her left arm and held one side of another with her right hand.  Shana scrambled after her, holding the other end of the box and being dragged after Alex with a look of frazzled harassment.

            “I am hurrying!”  Shana’s sundress caught the light and almost seemed to glow.  She nearly fell over Alex was moving so quickly.

            Alex had taken to wearing brown.  She had her dark hair tied back into a functional ponytail that swayed with her movements.  They rounded Shana’s car together and shimmied the box into the trunk.  Alex stored the other box in the backseat.  “I want to get unpacked and changed before the movie,” she said.  “We’re not missing the previews this time.”

            “Or the popcorn,” Shana said.

            Alex sighed and leaned against the car.  She stared back at the dormitory before sharing a smile with Shana.  “I think that’s everything.”

            Shana checked the car again and shrugged.  “Pretty sure that was the last box, but we can do a once over to doublecheck.”

            “No.  I think you’re right.  If I leave anything now, well, then it belongs to them.”

            Shana laughed and shut the trunk.  She went to the driver’s seat while Alex lingered at the passenger door.  “Say goodbye to this place, at least for the summer.”

            “Please, don’t remind me.  Two months isn’t enough.”

            Laughing again, Shana entered the car and buckled her seatbelt.  She started the car while watching Alex out of the corner of her eye.  A lot had happened since their time in the Emotion, and Alex had changed a lot, too.  She was still quiet, and she still kept to herself, but she had grown quickly.  Shana was happy for her.

            Alex got in, and Shana was checking the rearview and making sure it was clear.  She was just pulling out when Alex called for her, and she jerked the car to a stop.  “What?”

            “Thanks.”

            Shana rolled her eyes.  “For what? The ride? You’re welcome.  I wouldn’t leave you to figure this out on your own, anyway.”

            “No,” Alex said as the car came to another stop.  Shana paused in shifting gears and took the chance to look Alex in the eyes.  She found Alex blushing.  “I meant, thank you for all those years when I was, well, me, and you were—you were you.  Thanks, you know, for being my friend.”

            Shana grinned, her own cheeks feeling warm.  She was equally amused and bewildered by the suddenness of it.  “Alex, you don’t have to thank me for that.”  Even as she said it, however, she reached out and pinched her friend’s cheek.  “But you’re welcome.”

            Alex shoved Shana’s hand away and grinned despite herself.  Amidst their shared laughter, she said, “Alright, alright, let’s just go.”

            “Right, right, we can’t leave the popcorn and previews waiting.”

 

: King and Queen :

 

            Ellen was leaned against the wall of the Eralder Bookstore as she watched Isaac at work.  She strategically placed herself so that she was away from the mess and also away from him.  Isaac had, over the past week, built himself a tiny kingdom of books and folders, and he presided over them diligently.

            “I told my you that my father left me the store and his money when he,” and that is where Isaac always fell silent.  He had his back to her, but she could still feel the hurt in him, even if she couldn’t see it in his eyes.  It didn’t matter, though, because he wasn’t actually talking to her.  He didn’t always talk to her, when he was talking, and she imagined that he spoke like that even when she wasn’t there.  Three months had passed since they came home.  Isaac had returned to the store to find his father hanging from the ceiling one day.  He didn’t speak of it often, but Ellen could tell that it was always on his mind.

            “Anyway, we were wondering where he got all the money from, right?  I’ve been looking into his personal records, and it seems that he was being paid under the table by some guy from some organization, and he was getting paid a lot.  I’ve been doing some digging, and it’s all tied to some pharmaceutical company owned by a someone named Lazarus Klein.  He’s big money and has his fingers into a little bit of everything, and he had my dad looking into something special.”

            “What was he looking into?”  Ellen didn’t feel qualified to ask, but she felt obligated to respond anyway.

            With his back still to her, Isaac called her over.  He pulled a file from one of the many stacks around him and laid its contents on the counter.  There were stacks of paper, yellowing with age.  Each one was hand-written.  “Seems like he was looking into a guy named David Antur.  Dad told me about him once.  He was like us, Alex and I, and he was one of the first.  A lot of what I know it based off of what this guy wrote.  In fact, the Emotion? He was the guy who named it.”

            Ellen leaned over the counter and examined the papers.  She picked up one and looked it over while Isaac gathered the rest.

            “I’m going to England,” he said while he waited for her to finish.

            Ellen tensed.  She gave him the paper and watched him move about the room.  He didn’t look at her, and she was glad for that.  She didn’t want him to see her cry.

            “Antur was from England, and there’s some missing research by him.  Apparently, it’s got everything he ever wrote in one place.  It was his final report, and it’s supposed to really insightful.  Klein is looking for it, and so was my father.”  Isaac sorted the books, stacked them, and moved them from one place to another.  “I’ll be there until I find it.”

            Ellen pressed her fingers into the wooden surface of the counter and watched them go white.  She drew a deep breath and then said his name.  When he didn’t stop, she said it again, only this time louder.  He stopped, and they made eye contact.  Ellen drew a deep breath.  “I—I’m—I’m pregnant.”

            The words hung on the air, and Ellen took a deep breath and blinked a lot.  It felt to her like an eternity had passed, and she was just about to leave when he said, “You are?”

            She nodded.  “Uh-huh.”  She felt like she sounded nervous.  She was nervous.

            Isaac rounded some boxes and stopped in front of her.  She couldn’t tell if he was angry or happy until he grinned and grabbed by the waist, lifting her up with his big, strong hands.  “We’re having a baby?”  He beamed.

            She giggled and rested her hands on his shoulders.  “Well, that depends,” she said as he deposited safely on the countertop.  She stared him in the eyes and did her best to look serious.  “You are coming back, aren’t you?”

            “Of course,” Isaac said, and he kissed her.  It was one big kiss that turned, gradually, into a series of smaller kisses.  Then, he scooped her back up in his arms and held her close.  “What kind of king would just abandon his queen?”

 

No matter how long the journey,

No matter how far we go,

We will continue passing through time,

Like sunlight through vapor.

 

Read chapters early on https://redwhalestories5.blogspot.com/ or get full stories & support my work on https://www.patreon.com/redwhalestories

 

And thank you for reading,

RWS