It started to lost

The insanity of mine

The one that hold me

Something that keep me feel alive

 

I feel it

Slowly passed from my grasp

Like mocking me

When I can’t caught it, again

 

Those darkness that waiting

Slowly embrace me

So slow, barely like a wind caressing my face

But I feel it

 

Along with the lost, something came

Something I never want. Something I never wish.

 

It’s haunting my dream

Like the other half of me, the dark side of mine

Started to take control of myself.

 

I keep struggling

I don’t want to be like this

I need help.

Help me get go out from this black hole.

 

I don’t want to be here

I want to go home

To safe place I called insanity.

Help me, hold me.

Please, I beg.

 

Take me home.

Take me back to the day I felt alive

The day I have those feelings

The feelings that running through my veins

That I really belong here

That I’m not an outcast.

 

Help me

Help me to fight this

Fight my own demon

Before it took me.

To the place I never want.

It started to lost

The insanity of mine

The one that hold me

Something that keep me feel alive

 

I feel it

Slowly passed from my grasp

Like mocking me

When I can’t caught it, again

 

Those darkness that waiting

Slowly embrace me

So slow, barely like a wind caressing my face

But I feel it

 

Along with the lost, something came

Something I never want. Something I never wish.

 

It’s haunting my dream

Like the other half of me, the dark side of mine

Started to take control of myself.

 

I keep struggling

I don’t want to be like this

I need help.

Help me get go out from this black hole.

 

I don’t want to be here

I want to go home

To safe place I called insanity.

Help me, hold me.

Please, I beg.

 

Take me home.

Take me back to the day I felt alive

The day I have those feelings

The feelings that running through my veins

That I really belong here

That I’m not an outcast.

 

Help me

Help me to fight this

Fight my own demon

Before it took me.

To the place I never want.

2: Bittersweet love

You just like the sky.

So high, so dark, so calm.

You're nearly untouchable.

Too far away, too many risk, too... Perfect.

For me..

 

I'm the earth.

I'm the soil, I'm the firefly.

So small, sometimes invisible, sometime forgotten.

Yet, I was there.

 

I'm so invisible that you can't even notice me.

But, me? You're the brightest crayon on my sketch.

You stood so high than the other.

You're the living along the dead.

And I'll never can't stop looking at you.

 

It was painful, it feel hurt a lot.

When the one I miss the most, the one that so close to my heart.

So oblivious about this feeling

.

I'm a stranger, I'm an outcast.. I'm nothing.

For you...

 

I HATE this feeling!

I hate how you make me feel vurnerable yet be the strongest at the same time

You teach me how distance taught us to be patient.

You teach me how to accept the situation.

With your own way.

 

Unrequited love.

One-sided feeling.

That no one even know, will this feeling ever get returned.

And, did it will stay for the rest of my life?

Or, gone along the time?

No one know. Even my self.

 

They say, when you fall in love, the other happiness is more important than yours.

And, you'll be happy as long they're happy, Thought, you may be not the reason for it.

 

But, is this wrong?

If I wish, at least once.

Just ONCE.

 

For me to be the reason behind your smile.

Be the reason for your laugh, for your happy feeling?

 

Let me be.

Let me be the reason of one your happy memories.

Even just once.

Let me make a small note, yet noticeable in your life.

 

So you can remember about me...

About small girl that felt for you.

The girl that can't even forget everything about you, thought it also really hurt her feeling.

Because deep down, she know, those feeling would never gone.

Especially, when she doesn't get the chance to tell that to the one she loves dearly.

 

The bittersweet love that she held only for YOU.

3: Moon

Like the first movement of Moonlight Sonata

This feeling begun. . .

So slowly...

Excruciating...

Yet, so calm and sweet

 

Like a symphony. . .

Happiness and sadness came

A minute smile, later then tears flowing

Keep changing, keep moving

With invisible pattern

And I can't predict it..

 

That's what you bring when you came to my life

You bring back those feeling that lost

The memories surface again whenever I hear your name. . .

And, without I realize it. . .

The ones simple "crush" become something more. . .

 

But, is it really just a crush?

I can't even tell

I just know the feeling's there. . .

 

You really are like those beautiful song. . . 

It might bring some sadness in some time

And happiness in another time

There's no word can describe what I feels for you . . 

But, If you ever want to know. . .

Let me give you some advice...

Keep the Moon shining in the night

And the sonata as the music behind. . . 

 

 

 

4: Shadow

Seems like something missing on me . .

But no one seems to notice

Even Me. . .

 

I just know . . .

Deep down something has changed

In the way I never imagine

 

I can feels my self losing

Like drowning in the sea

But I can see everyone around me breathing

Freely

 

I feels like a shadow

I was there, but not everyone notice me

They tend to know where I am when the Light is stronger

Than "My self" looked more darker and they noticed Me

 

I keep asking my self "Why"

Why I became someone like this?

Why I be on this way?

Why. . . ?

Why. . . . why it must be me?

 

I can't even understand the way my brains works

How my thoughts can jump randomly from one thing to the other

 

Yap, I can't

I wish I know

What will I become in the Future. . .

Do I still be a shadow?

Or, maybe someday, somewhere far away there

I can be the Light

 

A flaming fire, undying and alive

It's hot, it's burning but It keep the other warm

Just wish. . .

Cause that's part of our self

Wishing and dreaming

To be a better person than before

And to be a "Light", not just a "Shadow" . . .

5: Author Note

This is just a simple author note

1. First i want to thank you to whoever want to read this fic

2. I'm sorry if there is so many mistake in this "book" /if you can call it a book, i really grateful/

3. English is NOT my first language, so, hope you don't mind if this poem seems ridicolous for your taste

4. I only made four poem because, i want to know first how all of you react. This is the very first time i write story in English. That's why I'm still not sure.

 

Once again, Massive Thanks to whoever that spare their time to read this especially if you leave a ConCrit for me. That's really mean a lot to me

Thanks ^^

 

S. Thewlis