FOOD FOR THOUGHT
© Copyright April 1973. David Barry.
© Revised version June 1998. Copyright David Barry.
Cal stood in the queue at the ship's airlock, a small case in his hand containing a book, a "Kirly Q" puzzle, and a well used, battered pocket Solitaire game. In front of him, the queue was steadily transferring through the chute from the Lander to the robocar that would take them to the city centre. He was anxious to get a glimpse of this famous, not to say notorious, planet. Neither he, nor any of the other emigrants who had been his companions for the past seven weeks on the deep space journey from Terra had been given any idea what they were walking into; but then, that was half the incentive of the WEGS system. You were classified in one of half a score categories, then offered a choice of half a dozen planets to emigrate to.
"We never give information as to the planet's sociological, ecological, or economic balances," the WEGS representative had said. "That way there's a spirit of pioneering, of colonisation; a new life!"
Cal thought he detected a note of fanaticism.
"But surely people want to know some details about the world they're going to live on for the next five years?" he had asked.
The WEGS man waved his hands expressively.
"You're told all you need to know," he said, not unkindly. "Average working week, type of jobs to suit you particularly, average weather, average salaries. A few other bits and pieces. If we laid out detailed information sheets about each planet people were entitled to emigrate to, they'd probably spend weeks poring over the sheets, unable to decide which one to go to. Let's face it, it's not as if there's anything unpleasant on any particular world. We do everything in our power to see that conditions are 85% satisfactory for each individual. It would be impossible to find a planet that would be 100% satisfactory by virtue of the fact of human nature, which hasn't changed much in the past three thousand years."
He leaned forward and assumed a more businesslike manner.
" Anyway, - you've picked planet number G/2793/413/7/ZOL, better known to the general public by the not very complimentary name of Graffiti."
His eyes twinkled.
"On behalf of the World Emigration Guidance System, may I wish you a pleasant voyage and enjoyable stay on Graffiti."
And so here he was, shuffling along with eighty seven other people who had elected to make Graffiti their home for the next five years. Only after that five year period could anyone travel Offworld again, either for a holiday or to emigrate somewhere else. He settled himself in the robocar and prepared to watch the countryside during the short journey. He was disappointed. It looked much like Earth, except that he couldn't recognise the trees and shrubs. As they approached the city his disappointment turned to dismay. The architecture was even more similar to Terran design than the WEGS brochures and the Net information had suggested.
"This is a bit ridiculous," thought Cal morosely. "I'm classified as independent, adventurous, romantic, and requiring something to occupy my freelance instincts and taste for the unusual. How in the name of Aardern of Link am I supposed to find adventure and romance on a planet the same in nearly all respects as Terra? Mind you," he added to himself, "they do say that the girls of Graffiti are a real Wow!"
And being of a romantic turn of mind, Cal went off into a reverie about the girls of Graffiti. He was awoken from it by the sound of the robocar saying,
"Your attention please, your attention please. We are about to arrive at the city of Nampf. Will you please ensure that you leave nothing in the car, and that you insert your WEGS card into the receptor at the exit. Thank you." Five minutes later, Cal was standing on Graffiti soil for the first time. And precisely 6.25 seconds after that he saw his first Graffiti girl.
"By the Holy Teeth of Muldheim of Sheg, Wow!" said Cal and then added, "Oh, brother!"
The girl was walking towards him from what appeared to be a hotel on the opposite side of the street, although no name was visible on its facade. She was quite small in stature, but with a full figure. She was wearing a tunic of translucent but highly iridescent material that glowed as she walked; a shifting whorl of colours that shimmered and glistened and flowed, a veritable kaleidoscope of impressions. The tunic was short, very short, and it showed her tanned legs to perfection, from her shapely thighs to her shapely ankles. Her face was oval, elfin-like, with large eyes that were softly appealing in their greenness, set exquisitely in a face of pure unblemished skin. Her mouth was full, the lips warm and smiling, without makeup.
Through the shifting spectrum of her tunic, Cal could see her firm upthrust breasts. He thought he'd never seen such a desirable looking female in all his life.
"If all the girls on Graffiti are like you, I'm going to have myself a ball!", thought Cal dreamily. As if in answer, the girl smiled at him and Cal experienced a physical sensation that was as old as Adam.
"Good evening," said the girl. "Would you accompany me to the hotel, please. You will be staying there for two or three days while arrangements are made for your permanent accommodation and vocation."
Her voice matched the rest of her;- a soft, gentle, rounded, delightful butterfly tickling at his ears. Cal allowed himself to wonder for a few seconds if her touch would be as light as her voice.
"Are you with the hotel?" he asked, visions of highly personal room service flitting through one half of his mind whilst the other half rapidly tried to think of ways of prolonging their acquaintance if she should prove to be merely a temporary guide.
The girl chuckled, a softly tinkling, mischievous cascade of fairy bells.
"Yes, I'm employed there."
"Good," said Cal. "Are all Graffiti girls as beautiful as you? Back on Terra, we're told that you're all a real w-- er, you're all really gorgeous by our standards."
The girl flashed her eyes demurely; delightfully. "I have heard that Earthmen seem to like us," she answered.
"You bet!" said Cal, and let his thoughts drift into a limbo of ‘101 Ways to Seduce Graffiti Girls.'
This particular girl, whose name Cal discovered, was Serena - that being the nearest Terran translation - saw him to his room, which was similar in most respects to any expensive Earthside hotel room; and promised to arrange a meal for him shortly.
"Will you join me?" asked Cal.
"My instructions are to look after you until you are settled in," said Serena, "so I would be delighted. It will give me an opportunity to find out more about you and we can talk about your stay here."
Cal thought, yes, and give me a chance to find out more about you! He put the vision this conjured up firmly out of his head.
"Thank you," he said. "I would be delighted to have your company for a meal."
When she had gone, Cal spent some time in thought trying to figure out the best way of getting Serena interested in someone who was a complete stranger, and an Offworlder, at that. It was rather difficult as he had never tried to seduce a girl from another planet before and wasn't at all sure that her responses would be as predictable as those of a Terran girl.
A drink clumsily spilt, perhaps, or he could try the "delightful surroundings! -- all-I-need-now-is-a-beautiful-girl" routine. He turned from his meditation of the bed to find that Serena had entered quietly, and was standing behind a dial-a-tray.
"Oh!" said Cal. "You were mighty quick!"
"We aim to please," said the girl.
Was it his imagination, or did her mouth quirk slightly as she said that?
"Right then," said Cal. "Let's tuck in."
After the meal Serena seemed quite willing to sit and talk, even to the extent of sitting next to Cal on the couch without waiting for him to ask, and showing no sign of hesitation at his nearness.
"This gets better by the minute!" thought Cal. He decided on the spilt drink
routine, and forthwith asked Serena what she fancied as an after dinner liqueur.
"Let me," the girl smiled.
She dialled the drinks from the tray. After a three second wait, they arrived. She carried them over to the couch and sat down. As she did so her elbow hit Cal's arm and most of her drink ended up in her lap. To say that Cal was dumbfounded would be an understatement.
"Oh, I am stupid!" wailed Serena, making futile brushing movements at the liquid.
"Er- no, not at all," mumbled Cal. "It was my fault entirely. I shouldn't have left my arm lying about."
"Of course it wasn't your fault. Ah- could I borrow your bathroom?" added the girl shyly.
Cal had by now regained his composure. He gave Serena his most winning smile.
"Of course you can! Be my guest!"
"Please, please be my guest for the next five years!" he added silently to himself.
Serena disappeared into the bathroom and Cal stood up and rubbed his hands, a huge grin on his face.
"By the Sacred Horn of the Muldheim of Sheg! This is unbelievable!" he thought. "The fates are certainly with me tonight!"
He heard the soft whoosh of the air dryers as the girl dried the soft fabric of her tunic. The thought of the air jets blowing the translucent material against her body made him gulp, and he took a large swallow of his drink. He resumed his former seat just as Serena returned from the bathroom. He patted the sofa.
"Come and sit down here and relax," he said comfortably. "There's lots of things I want to know about Graffiti. After all, I'm going to be here for the next five years."
He added silently to himself: "And if tonight's anything to go by, I shall enjoy every minute or it!"
"Shall I try again with the drinks?" Serena asked with a laugh. She dialled again, and this time completed the exercise without mishap.
"What would you like to know?" she asked, sipping her drink.
"Well, I'm still trying to figure out what's special to Graffiti - apart from the girls, of course."
"Don't the WEGS tell you anything about the planet you're emigrating to?" asked the girl in surprise.
"No, not a great deal," said Cal. "Part of the incentive is to leave the individual to find out what will appeal to him - or her - particularly on any one planet. All the WEGS guarantee is that it will be at least 85% satisfactory, and that any individual will find something on his planet that will satisfy his - how shall I say- most ardent desires. Of course, there may be a downside to the planet as well. Which is why I'd like to know more about this place."
Serena sipped thoughtfully. "85% isn't a very good bet," she said.
"Oh, I don't know," said Cal. "I mean, they wouldn't send a person with a dread of spiders to a world inhabited by arachnid life. The 15% you take a chance on is whether it's a bit on the warm or cold side, say, or whether the natives have blue skin and pink hair. I think they do quite well, considering the enormity of the task." He paused to drink.
"I suppose so," Serena said dubiously.
"Anyway, we're supposed to be discussing Graffiti," Cal reminded her reproachfully. "It seems very much like Terra to me. There must be something pertinent to it that will appeal to me."
He slipped his arm behind Serena and let it rest on the back of the couch, his fingers curling round her shoulder.
"Now tell me all about life here," he suggested, giving a slight squeeze.
Serena moved fractionally closer to him, settling herself so that she was resting comfortably in the crook of his arm. She told him about the various jobs that were available, about social customs (and taboos), about public services, cultural pursuits, leisure activities, wildlife, and warned him not to tangle with the "Haegnverd". She talked for an hour, and at the end of it Cal was somewhat worried.
"I see," was all he said.
Serena looked at him quickly.
"Don't you like the sound of it," she asked.
Cal shrugged.
"I dunno. It sounds a hell of a lot like Earth if you disregard the whatnots that are obviously particular to Graffiti. It doesn't seem to be all that vastly different. I thought there would be something unusual, or - or exciting; something that would make a person like me have to be careful; to be on his toes all the time." He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.
"Oh I don't mean that I should be a criminal, always on the run from the "Haegnverd" or whatever you call them. It's just, oh, I don't know; it seems dull, that's all. It needs something to add a bit of spice to life."
There was a silence.
"I - I hope I haven't offended you," Cal said awkwardly.
Serena shook her head and finished her drink.
"I mean, I've already said that the girls here are absolutely the greatest!" Cal went on hurriedly, feeling that he ought to make amends somehow. Serena set her glass down on the floor and snuggled closer to him.
"Thank you. I'm glad there's something you like about Graffiti, anyway."
"Oh, I like, I like," said Cal softly, and kissed her gently.
"You've got it made!" he thought jubilantly. "At least this will make up for the lack of excitement here, even if it is only temporary."
He kissed her again, and slid his other hand round her waist.
"Are you going to stay here, or ask to be moved somewhere else?" murmured Serena, between kisses.
Cal smiled. "The way I'm feeling now, stay!"
Serena pulled him gently on top of her.
"I'm glad Cal. Because there is one thing I haven't told you about Graffiti."
She kissed his neck, nibbling gently.
"What's that?" murmured Cal, not really paying so much attention to what she was saying as what she was doing and the feel of her body through the thin tunic. Her hand stroked his face.
"Well," she said, in between kisses. "It might provide some of the excitement you're looking for."
Cal felt that any further details about the planet could wait for a more propitious time.
"Couldn't we leave that for the time being?" he murmured gently. He kissed her firmly on the lips to prevent further distractions.
"I thought it was important to you," she said, when she eventually drew away for air. "I thought you were looking for excitement."
"Oh, I'm excited alright!" breathed Cal.
"I noticed," she said. "But I really think this is something you'll want to know about."
Cal resigned himself.
"Surprise me," he murmured, nuzzling her neck and allowing his hand to roam inside the tunic.
"Oh, that's nice!" she breathed. "Well, you see, all Graffiti born people have a certain inherent characteristic."
"Yes, you're the most beautiful, gorgeous, sexy girl I've ever met!" Cal whispered. "That's your main characteristic and I love you for it!"
As Serena's hands explored the contours of his body he realised that her touch was indeed as light as her voice.
"But- we have- another special- characteristic--" Serena said, her breath coming in short gasps.
"And what might that be, my darling?" Cal prompted, anxious to put an end to conversation and devote his total attention to Serena's soft, supple, vibrant body.
Serena caressed him and nuzzled him and kissed him.
"Well, darling," she confessed, murmuring softly as she nibbled gently at one earlobe, "I think you should know that we are all highly telepathic."
THE END.
© Copyright David Barry. 1973
© No part of this story or manuscript may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, including electronically, either wholly or in part without the written permission of the copyright holders.
David Barry. April 1973.
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