Dear diary,

I have a few things to say to you;

Firstly, I am not a girly-girl, so I refuse to be all sappy and ever start another page with ; dear diary. I will just talk to you like a friend or something , but I refuse to call you Sally or some equally peachy thing and be all Bff's and hair-curling and gossiping with you. Be it noted I despise gossiping. It's useless. And really, when you're frequently the victim of said gossiping, you would hate it too.

Secondly; I am indeed pathetic ( although I prefer to say I merely have a very lively and well-working fantasy ) enough to imagine you're real. Strictly, that would make you my imaginary friend, but A; you're a real object, not imaginary and B; since I believe – more or less- in magic and stuff ( note; find a better word than stuff. It sounds stupid. And I refuse to sound stupid. People would actually believe that dumb saying that blonde people are dumb even more if I behaved stupidly) , so I will insist at all times you're real.

Thirdly; I was forced to do this. My aunt ( one of many, but who cares? It's not like I have met all of them. My family members are like bunnies; we breed very fast. Hence the name the Bunnies – as I call us. My mom, sadly, isn't amused whenever I greet one of my aunts or great-aunts or nieces with Hey Bunny! Whazzup? But then again, the woman has no sense of humor. It must come with the job of being a royal-pain-in-the-ass) gave you to me as a gift ( I am a girl, so surely I must love a diary. I mean, come on, seriously? Stereotype much? Okay, you're pretty cool as far as diaries – you're still just a diary even if you're magical and all. It is NOT debatable- go, but still. I would have expected something else. Like the soul sword I asked, but whatever. I got a diary! Yay! Note the sarcasm. Man, they really should invent something that enables people to be sarcastic in a letter) and I got blackmailed ( one of the Bunnies' family favorite pastimes) into using you. So here I am. All ready to do this, I guess.

So. I will just tell you my name and stuff, since you're now my friend and all. Don't have many of them, by the way. Friends I mean. Real, honest, nice people that want to be friends with me , not my money ( or actually my mom's money) or titles.

But that's okay. I don't like having many people around me anyway. I am more the shy, quiet, sitting-in-a-corner-with-a-good-book-and-a-glare type. I really don't like people that much. I mean , they are nosy , loud, annoying, often stupid ( or at least very good at doing stupid things) and they aren't really trustworthy. At least, that's my experience. It could be different. You know, somewhere else. Perhaps, even there. But my mom would never let me go either way, so no use thinking about possibly nice people there right now.

And the people that come to me ( much like drooling, glassy-eyed mice in front of a big, fat piece of cheese. The cheese being my money and status) only 'want' to be 'friends' with me, because A; I am rich, filthy, filthy rich ( why do they call it filthy anyway? I know, money isn't the cleanest thing around, but that is because people are constantly touching it. So if you have like a professional guy to clean your valuables- we actually have that. I personally think it's a great example of the rich are eccentric. Insane thus- why are you still filthy rich? I just don't think the expression makes much sense. It isn't like people with a lot of money have dirtier money than those with little) B; I am a princess ( not the gown-wearing, sweet-mannered, dreamy-eyed one. More the highly intelligent, silent, fuming, ill-tempered, dependent and strong-willed one) and C; they want to get in my mom's good graces.

And C would probably lead to ten million dollar question; Who is my mom? And even more importantly, why do people want to get in her good graces ? Well, my mom is her royal majesty of annoyingness ( okay, actually of what the people of there believe to be Atlantis and we call Lianta , but whatever. Royal majesty of annoyingness suits her better, believe me. I have known the woman for nearly fifteen years) and rules over our huge kingdom ( and with huge, I mean HUGE. Almost all the water belongs to our kingdom. Or actually queendom. The queen rules. And still, we give our princesses bright pink and purple diaries. Honestly ) , meaning she is pretty much all-powerful ( well people, think she is. But she isn't. She holds no power over any mechanics. The women is able to make a washing machine explode by just looking at it. And she isn't using magic or anything, she is just terrible at fixing stuff. Don't ever ask her to fix anything) and awfully rich.

And as if being queen of a huge queendom- I swear that should be made a word- and being the filthiest of filthy rich isn't enough, she also has magic.

Yes, poor peasants, we know life is unfair and screws you over. Don't look at me. I didn't make the rules ( despite how much I want to) or I certainly wouldn't have made my mom this powerful and occupied. It makes her arrogant ( well all us bunnies are. Even your humble narrator aka friend is a little arrogant. Okay, really arrogant. But hey, can you blame me? I am royalty. We are pretty much raised to be arrogant) , tight-lipped ( really. She never tells me about what our secret service – our spies- does. Am I not supposed to know about that, if I ever want to rule? Or become a spy. Either is fine with me. Well especially being a spy. That seems pretty badass. And it would piss my mom off. Everyone happy) and not much like a mom really.

Well, not that I have that much experience with moms, but I know that moms aren't supposed to forget birthdays, or demand perfect manners even if you're alone with them, or almost never eat with their daughters, or disappear suddenly without any real explanation, or.. well , really anything my mom does. I sometimes don't even call her mom, because she doesn't seem very motherly.

Really, sometimes I wonder how she even got to be a mo- okay, don't want to go there. Never mind. Don't want to think about that, it hurts my brain. And eyes. And stomach. And innocence. And will to life. And other stuff.

Anyhow, awful thoughts about how my mom got to be a mom – obviously it isn't like the universe chooses wisely- , she is my mom and her being so powerful and significant and a big deal, means lots of fake friends for me. Yippy. Sarcasm again, in case you didn't notice.

Honestly, if I had gotten a dollar –or euro, or whatever currency you like- every time a new fake friend arrived.. well I would be even filthier rich. Yep.

Anyway, so I am a princess with fake friends ( or actually people who pretend to be my friends, only to get acquainted with one of my glares. I get plenty of practice these days, and my glares are really improving. The way the FF- fake friends- stutter, pale and look at anything but me proves it) and a lot of books as real friends.

Really, I love books. And yes, you would probably retort I don't , because I don't seem happy to have you, but I don't mean diaries. I associate diaries with pink and feelings ( or actually talking about them/ admitting you have them), two of my least favorite things.

But the books I love so much are pretty darn awesome.

A friend of mine, who owns a store ( most of my friends are adults or at least older because 99 % of people my age are lame) has a lot of books that I am allowed to borrow. And there are many variations too; you have magic books ( Aunt Cora, if you have somehow enchanted my diary to tell my mom everything I write in it or things I do that are forbidden and write in it, I swear I will find some way to make your already miserable existence even more miserable. My threats are not empty , so you better watch out!) , cooking books ( I am not necessarily interested in cooking, but if I ever run away, it would come in handy. That, and my mom is always too busy with queendom stuff to cook. And I swear my maids are cooking awful dishes on purpose! Really, why else would they make rice with potatoes? That's like poison) , books of there ( I have a big pile hidden in my room. I have this secret space and I have disguised them as normal books. Even my smartass mom will never find them) and countless other books I love reading.

Aside from the ever-growing pile of books that I have in my room ( I have my beloved books nearby and it annoys my mom. Bonus!) , I have two other friends ; Roane – my insane and barking best friend aka bbf- and Calder, who is pretty much just awesome.

Roane and Calder are basically the only people that don't annoy me the moment they open their mouths ( hey, can you blame me? Do you know how boring the sentence; oh my gosh , you're the crown princess! Gets after hearing it a thousand times?) and that I usually like spending time with. They are also pretty much the only ones in the entire queendom that don't worship the bunnies and aren't impressed by all the power, riches and so on.

It makes hanging out with them a lot more agreeable.

So, you probably want a little information on my two only friends. I am fine with that, and I think they would be too. But I am not going to ask them ( because really, the question do you mind if I tell my magical diary about you so he gets to know you is creepy no matter who says it. It just would be creepier if it was an old dude with a big moustache and a pistol who was saying it) , so you will have to accept it if they decide to burn you as punishment for privacy infringement when they read this.

Roane; About two years older than me, funny, barks ( literally. It's hilarious) and loves anything with water ( the girl is obsessed with water. Her purpose in life is creating water with water in it, which just doesn't make sense, but she won't listen to me , because she thinks she is the aquatic expert. I am really starting to think there is an epidemic of arrogance going on here. Although Roane is more delusional than arrogant really. In my professional opinion anyhow) which might have to do something with the fact that she is a selkie.

You do know what a selkie is, don't you? Why do I even ask that? I don't care, I am going to explain what it is anyway, I love explaining things. It makes me feel smart and appreciated.

And gives me an excuse to call someone who isn't blond dumb( I am trying to make the word dumb link to a different hair color than blonde. It isn't working. Yet) .

So anyway, selkies are sea creatures. Duh there. Because how would they survive in Atlantis if they weren't? It isn't like we have special accommodations for not-sea creatures down here ( unless you call dungeons, guards and death sentences special accommodations. I personally don't ) . So the only real explanation for her being friends with me is she is a sea creature. And awesome. And not afraid of my glares. .

So definition of selkies – the thing I wanted to tell you in the first place- ; seals that can turn into humans when they take off their cloaks. Tada! It's explained. Yay me.

Roane really is awesome. She has this long , flowing hair that is brown-with silver ( it has both brown and silver in it , it's really cool) and purplish black eyes that somehow reminds me of a dog or something and are really hard to resist. She dresses in her seal skin – which fits her perfectly and resembles a body suit- and likes to wear jewelry made of shells and the like. She has freckles where her whiskers are in seal-form.

She loves swimming more than anything, her favorite food is fish and she is crazily fast. Faster in the sea, but also fast on land. We have been friends ever since I beat up a guy that wanted to steal her seal coat while she was sunbathing. I threw myself at him, knocked him down and yelled, startling Roane badly enough that she fell of the rock she was laying on. She got a bruise on her but, I was a week grounded and we have been friends ever since.

Since would be approximately three years ago.

Calder is my other friend. He is a kelpie, which is a water horse. He can turn into this really cool, sleek majestic black horse that is basically irresistible to any horse lover, or his usual form of a tall human guy with black hair ( that is spiked with the points silver. He hates it when people simply says he has black hair and I would rather not be thrown into the sea by an angry kelpie repeatedly, so I am just saying it. Spiked. Silver. Remember) and really light silverfish blue eyes , or a giant seahorse thing. He will probably hate my description of him, but whatever. He is never satisfied with the descriptions.

Calder might seem a tad arrogant and vain, but he isn't. He couldn't care less about his appearance, he just hates it when people don't get him right. People often just assume things about him, but they are really wrong. He hates that.

Okay, good stuff about him; he is really intelligent, likes books, funny ( although it takes time getting used to his humor. Especially because his favorite thing to joke about is death. People don't really appreciate his jokes about how something would kill a person that's already dead. I personally find it hilarious) and humble. And handsome, but I really don't care much that he makes every female near him swoon and sigh like they are auditing for most girly, overrated, cliché thing to do when a cute guy is near.

I wouldn't be caught dead doing that near him. I don't even get why those girls keep doing it. Calder might be handsome and all, but he is just another guy. But Roane and I are the only ones that see it that way ( and regularly beat Calder up when he shows signs of arrogance or the awful disease known as turning-into-a-jerk)

Bad stuff; he kills people. Really, he has little control over that. There was this one guy that came near me, asked me to dance and kept bothering me when I refused. That guy eventually got forceful, but before one of the guards- that had been giving him cold looks that were ignored completely- could interfere, Calder stepped in and broke the guy's neck. He is really protective and not very moral that way.

It was actually sweet, in a I-will-kill-any-obnoxious-dude for you kinda way.

So killing people without really thinking it through in a public place. That's one of his flaws. He doesn't do it to friend of me though, just people that make me feel uncomfortable. Calder is really great at guessing what kind of mood I am in, even when I am hiding my unease really well.

His ability to read me is great when I am in one of my grumpy moods and want to be left alone.

It's less great when someone accidently knocks into you and loses his head before he even has time to finish his apology.

But that's just Calder to you; kind, funny and intelligent but also fiercely protective and without qualms when it comes to killing people. He wouldn't be Calder if he didn't turn into a horse so he can run over someone that has upset me in any way of shape.

And I kind of like the idea that he will always be there to protect me. Just don't tell him that! He would never let that one go, for sure.

I have a reputation to remain , you know.

Greetings ,

Prissy Princess [ nickname for myself, not my name! Luckily]

2: Not-So-Dear-Diary

Do you know what I like most about you? You don’t give me homicide tendencies. Or the overwhelming desire to A; bury my head into my pillow and scream, B; Hit something repeatedly or C; Bang my head against the wall/door.

Let me give you a short summary of what happened today that has my blood boiling ( Not literally, luckily. Although it is possibly. I read this one spell – this spell that might be very dangerous and illegal to even read- some time ago that makes blood literally boil and not only that, it also enchants the person it’s used on in such a way that the blood-boiling thing doesn’t kill him. Instead, he/she gets to scream bloody murder while his/her blood literally boils. Some really badass villain would use that. And then hopefully get his/her ass kicked, because this is a typical case of I-do-not-even-wish-that-on-my-worst-enemy) ; MY FUCKING MOM!

I really hate her.

And my guards. Stupid betrayers. I almost hate them enough to wish the blood-boiling spell on them. Almost, but even yours truly doesn’t those moronic, evil, cruel, betrayers of guards enough to wish that on them.

Why I hate them? Well, they totally told my mom where I was! After I explicitly had told them not to.

And really, I don’t believe they are stupid (or deaf) enough to misinterpret that.

Anyway, those COB- Champions of betrayal- told my mom that I was visiting my friend Shanna- the story owner I already told you about- and my mom went completely nuts!

Seriously, I was just chilling with Shanna and her granddaughter Roxane- who is my book buddy , meaning we aren’t exactly friends but both love to read and talk a lot about it- when mom came barging into the shop like a tomato on warpath.

Her face was red like blood [ the disadvantage of ‘fair’ skin , my friend, ; you turn red very easily] , her eyes were popping [ which would have been funny, had it not been for the fact that them was a look in them that was a mix between those of a psychopath and a predator] and that vein on her forehead had graced us with its presence.

You might understand why I jumped behind the counter.

Sadly, my mom has an unnerving ability to find any person hiding from her [ as long as they aren’t my unknown dad. But I am not going to talk about that. It’s too close to feelings. Feelings I do not want to even think about] in no time.

So she hissed my name [ I am not kidding/exaggerating, she really , freaking, hissed like some crazy snake!] and pulled be from behind the counter. I loudly proclaimed child abuse and claimed innocence, but my mom ignored both of those.

Which is unfair, because she once gave a man the worst punishment we have here in the queendom- called Fustuarium Bastinado , which would be very brutal and cruel but also unknown to me, because my mom won’t tell me about it- when she found out about this one man that had been abusing his children.

So basically, she brings ‘hell upon’ someone who abuses a child she doesn’t know and ignores her own child when it feels abused. Yeah, I can just feel the love mom [ sarcasm again, my friend]

Anyhow, a lot happened after the pulling-child-abuse thing. My mom hissed and yelled at me, I failed at keeping my cool and might have childishly screamed back, Shanna and Roxane tried to calm me down – they stopped trying to calm my mom after one attempt where she screamed she was calm at them- , I pushed my mom away from me when she tried to grab me and pull me with her, my mom used magic on Roxane and Shanna by creating a stupid ice wall between us, my mom snapped her fingers and yours truly was carried out of the shop by a guard.

I was actually laying over his back, how embarrassing is that!

Seriously, I hate my mom.

The only reason she was mad , was because I didn’t obey her every demand like she thinks the entire universe should do.

Really, I simply went to visit my friends – friend and book buddy, but whatever- and mom went all crazy on me! It’s so unfair.

I mean, it isn’t like I have many friends or have always had them and now I finally have them and actually like spending time with friends and am learning to open up more and stuff- like she told me to!- , she is trying to keep me away from my friends. Isn’t that completely unfair?

I don’t even get why she would want me to keep away from Shanna and Roxane, they are super nice and cool and everything, so what is so horrible about me spending time with them?

Let’s check it , all right?

The  things that would justify mom’s behaviour.

If Shanna and Roxane were a terrible influence. They tell me to read and I can only do that after I have shown Shanna my homework . Prompting to read really is a crime, isn’t it? What a horrible criminals, mom was totally right to keep me from them! I was exposed to… reading. Sarcasm. Best. Invention. Ever.

So they aren’t criminals, so we can cross exposure to criminal/horrible influences from the list of [good] reasons for my mom’s temper tantrum.

Okay, what more could make going nuts the right reaction to me spending time with Shanna/Roxane?

Poison. I only ever drink tea, my guard always sips first [ which I still think is gross and a bigger danger to my health than possibly poisoned tea] , so no way.

The books, or actually what’s in them. Okay, some books might have inappropriate context [ like the awesome book about various poisons , poisonous animals and assassinations where poison was used that I managed to smuggle into the house] , but it’s only good if I know what kind of poisons/dark spells there are, because those books always have the antidote/ defence spells too. So I am learning how to defence myself and how to not die. Unless mom wants me dead, this is a good thing.

Spending time around paintings/sculptures/books/jewellery; Nope, no reason to go into mama-bear mode [ the mentally unstable, annoying, unwelcome variation]. There is nothing wrong about spending time around those things, nor is it dangerous. Unless you count getting a splinter/getting a book on your foot as dangerous.

No, it’s actually life-threatening! Sarcasm, of course.

Spending time around Roxane/Shanna; There are not criminals [ already established that], insane, manipulative, racist or anything else that is even remotely  negative.

Honestly, the only negative thing about spending time with them, is that their constant pleas to try to understand mom/have a heart-to-heart are giving me headaches.

So my mom has no reason for storming into the shop, assaulting my ear drums with her screams, making a stupid wall of ice, letting that moronic guard carry me as if I were a bag of potatoes and locking me into my room! No. Reason. At. All.

But that’s my mom.

Doing stupid stuff without reason to me. Like locking me into me room, taking away ‘dangerous’ books, reminding me of my bedtime [ as if I could ever forget about stupid bedtimes] and making me eat uneatable food. Like caviar [ Seriously, does no one feels like a murderer when they eat that? It’s fish eggs people You are eating little, innocent baby fish. Am I seriously the only royal that actually cares for animals and isn’t addicted to eating babies?]

Sigh. Le sigh. More sigh.

I really hate being locked into my room; it’s boring, stupid and useless. Especially when my mom didn’t have the right to lock me up. I am pretty sure the right to look teenagers in their room doesn’t come with being a mom. And even if it does, I am innocent. I want a lawyer!

Well, as long as I am locked up – unjustly so- here, I can just as well talk to you, my friend.

So I already told you about Roane, Calder and a little about myself. I know I’m supposed to write down my ‘inner thoughts and feelings’, but I am not going to do just that.

You’re aren’t a diary, even if my environment says you are. I refuse to make you my diary, I am going to make you my notebooks instead. My notebook filled with descriptions,  drawings and talks of my insane family.

Let’s start with the insane family part, or the part of the family I know exists at least.

The bunnies; You have me and my mom. I don’t have siblings. Just me and my mom.

I am not sure to be happy or sad about that.

Pros of siblings; Mom would have to focus on them too, it’s easier to get away with stuff. I wouldn’t be alone all the time. We could team up against mom.

Con’s; I wouldn’t be alone all the time. My mom might actually like him/her. I would have to share my stuff.

I don’t think I want a sibling, especially not because if mom give birth now, I would probably end up caring for it while her royal majesty of child neglect would be out doing majesty-stuff.

My dad : I suppose everyone has a dad, but mine isn’t around. Her royal majesty tight-lipped refuses to talk about the ‘sperm donor’ [ until I meet him, that’s pretty much he is, isn’t he?], so I sadly can’t tell you why that is or where he is now or even what his name is.

So further down the family tree; my aunts. I don’t know the exact number, but I have approximately fifteen aunts.

That’s without counting the dead ones.

My mom also has a lot of half-siblings[ we are bunnies, not swans. We don’t do the entire , one partner-for-life thing] , so I also have a lot of –what?- half-aunts?

Same story when it comes to uncles. Many uncles, some dead guys, half-uncles.

And of course, my uncles/aunts [ the living ones, at least. The dead guys don’t get that much action anymore] are bunnies, so they have to breed relentlessly and create many nieces/nephews for me. Yay. Note the sarcasm, my friend! You really should start to get I use lots of sarcasm by now.

Anyhow, most of my uncles/aunts/half-uncles/half-aunts/nieces/nephews are okay, but you have some that could jump into a volcano for all I care;

Chenelle. One of my nieces and single most annoying teenager ever. She is vain, wimpy and says things as; “OMG my nail, like, just broke”, then glares at me and accuses me of ‘ruining her nails out of petty jealously’. Because, I totally, kill for bright pink nails with glitter.

Urgh, she is so annoying, just thinking about her annoys me.

Caesar. My younger nephew whose favourite pastime is picking his nose, then wiping his hand on the nearest object in sight. It’s revolting. And he has a toy sword with which he hits everything.

You wouldn’t believe the pain a seven-year-old and his toy sword can inflict on you.

Chenelle and Caesar are pretty much the only family members I want to push into a volcano – an erupting one- , but most of my family members are annoying or ‘difficult to like’.  There are only a few I really like.

And my mom’s calling [ probably because she has found new reasons to be angry/disappointed] , so I have to go now.

Next entry; the continuation of the introduction of the bunnies.

Greeting, prissy princess.