I felt it. Barely. It was the feeling of consciousness. In other words, the knowledge of being. I didn't feel real or that I really existed. Feeling was almost non-existent and the only 'feeling' was that of flight. A few more seconds passed until I felt something hard and cold on my back. The only thing separating me from the cold was a thin layer of clothing. I think clothing was the word.
What was the cold? Steel, that was the word. How did I know that? Knowledge, simple though, was coming into my mind. I felt something slice near my eyes and I opened them. The world was black and white. Was I colorblind? I couldn't remember anything and then blackness enveloped me.
I was then on a hill of red mud. On the hill was a skeleton that looked at me.
"You're here?" It asked me. "That's good. I'm hungry." It then leapt towards me and then I was in a graveyard.
The graveyard was hard to see in, even though the light was bright. The place didn't really seem to exist, it was just very fuzzy or maybe it was my eyes. Going to one gravestone I saw the name John on it. I felt the name had some importance. Whether it was my name or not I couldn't tell.
I blinked and when I opened my eyes again I was in a prison. The walls had scratch marks and blood. The blood was coming out of the walls as though the prison itself was in bleeding. I heard screams from my cell but I couldn't see a person.
I touched the wall and was able to push through it to a beach. The beach was devoid of anything but sun, water, sand, and the sound of seagulls. I put my arms around my naked body to keep myself warm.
Out of nowhere a voice said, "Poor fool. You are only one of many." It laughed and I opened my eyes to see people in medical garb around me.
"He's awake." A woman's voice said and a man came and looked into my eyes that could now see color.
"Say something." The man said.
"Where am I?" I asked and then decided to add, "Who am I?"
"So he's awake?" An older man's voice asked and I turned to look at him. "Did he say anything?"
"He asked who and where he is, Mr. Makija." The man said and I sat up. Makija walked in front of me.
"Your name is Matthias and you are in a laboratory." Makija replied. "My name is Yuji Makija."
"Why am I here?" I asked.
He looked me in the eyes. "What is your favorite animal?"
For a moment I was angry that he had ignored my question. But was I really in a position to argue with him? I didn't feel like I could fight at the moment. I thought about the question for a good minute or two. I could barely recall any animal. Finally I said my answer, "Crow."
Makija looked at me oddly and shook his head as if I had said something wrong. However, his voice didn't show any of disappointment I had seen a second before, "I think you need some rest." As he said this I felt something was wrong. Hadn't I been asleep a few moments before? "Norman, take Matthias to his sleeping quarters."
Norman, the woman's voice I had heard before, came to me and helped me out of the bed. My footsteps were rather awkward and it felt like I had never walked before. "What's Makija like?" I asked her, deciding to fill up the quiet with some conversation.
"Well he's very strict and doesn't take no for an answer." Norman replied to me.
"Does he have any family?"
"He did but they died." After that I couldn't get another word out of her. It was like I had started a conversation about a taboo subject.
Norman and I finally arrived at my room. She opened the door and I found the room to be sparsely decorated. The walls were painted white, the bed sheets were white, and there was a white dresser. "The bathroom is down the hall to the left." Norman told me and quickly left.
When she left I went around the bedroom looking at each place thoroughly. I didn't like that I wasn't treated like a person. Well, not a person of any importance at least. More like a test subject. I sat on the bed and thought about how I would find out who I was and escape. Or possibly just the latter.
I lay on my bed and the only thing I did was think. The previous day had only been about testing me. The other months had also been about tests. I couldn't imagine a life without all the tests. The only payoff I found was that I was turning into a little athlete.
I lifted my right arm and it looked muscular. Well, more muscular than the scientists. And they were scientists and didn't exercise much. Turning my arm over I looked at the back of my hand. It hadn't really concerned me, but now I noticed it more.
It looked like there was a scar and it was in the shape of a crescent moon. The difference was that it was just one thin line. I looked at it some more and then realized something. I got out of my bed and turned on the light. In this better light, the room had a soft glow to it when the main light was off, I realized I had seen the symbol before.
True, the last time I had seen this symbol was on some of the folders the scientists had carried. But it didn't strike me as important and more as a coincidence. The symbol on the folders had been accompanied with an eye behind it. That made the similarities end with a shape.
I turned the light off and lay in my bed again. I tried to put away questions about the scar on my hand. They were questions that were a 'conspiracy theory'. I had to prepare for another day full of tests, anyways.
-----------------------------
I ate my breakfast. Well, not really a breakfast as the scientists talked about. They said breakfast was bacon and eggs. They also mentioned something called pancakes. Pancakes sounded tasty and I wanted to try one of them someday. But my breakfast was different. It was a white and brown mush that had a very bland flavor. My drink was blue and was supposed to be healthy.
I was eating alone in a cafeteria where one or two scientists were seated at the opposite side of the room. I swear they were observing me. I didn't know why my eating habits would be so important, but I guess they were.
As I chewed some of the 'food' I thought about escaping. Escape would mean I could have pancakes and the rest of what a breakfast should be. But it also seemed useless. I was being taken care of here. Why should I cause so much pain to the people that were supporting me?
After I left the cafeteria I went to the testing area. More specifically, the main testing room. It was bland, just like the rest of the building, but it felt like home to me. The only person I saw there was Makija. Usually I only saw other scientists and it was a rare day that I would even catch a glimpse of Makija.
"How do you like the facilities?" Makija asked. "I do think that maybe you'd like to see the rest of the world."
"It is fine here." I told him.
"You are being polite. I think it is time for us to release you. Maybe one day you will decide to return, but, for now, I think it is fair for you to roam free."
This was a very odd conversation. Makija didn't usually sound comforting or kind. This offer, then, wasn't an offer: it was a demand.
"I do want to see the world." I lied to Makija and he led me to a room. I was in that room for what seemed like eons. I can barely remember what went on in that room. I just know that it was painful and there were voices, oh so many voices. I wished that they would be quiet.
Finally they were all quiet and I sat up. There was one lone scientist in the room. I rubbed my head and was glad I wasn't dead. For a moment I had believed Makija was going to kill me.
As I left the building, I squinted when the sun hit my eyes. It felt like the first time I had glimpsed real sunlight. But that couldn't be, I wasn't a child. As my eyes adjusted I turned around and saw the building wasn't by any other buildings. It was remote. I walked down the desert street and felt maybe Makija had decided to kill me. Just in a longer and more painful way.
I walked in the desert for hours worrying that my death would be out here. The noonday, at least that was my assumption, sun attacked my back as I trudged along. Makija had left me with no water or food to nourish myself with. There was nothing for me to do but go along the road and hope that there would be a way for me to refresh myself.
Finally, when I thought I should just give up and lie on the side of the road for the vultures to get me, a car stopped by me. As the window on the passenger side went down, I saw that it was a lady.
"You need a ride?" She asked.
While getting a ride somewhere would help, it could probably get me killed. But, really, I was already dead. "Yes." I replied and got in.
"I can take you to the nearest motel," She replied. "But you'll have to go from there."
I nodded and fell asleep until the car stopped. As I got out I told the woman, "Thanks for the ride."
"Thanks for not being a rapist." She told me and drove off.
Looking at the motel I could tell that it hadn't seen that good of business as of late. It wasn't falling down, but it was getting there. Since I didn't have a room, or money for one, I started knocking on people's doors. I got mostly bad reactions but putting up with that was a must since I didn't have any money.
After knocking on a door, a boyish looking man opened it. One could tell the man was in his thirties but there was still something innocent looking about him. He leaned against the door and asked, "What do you want?"
"I'm Matthias and I'm looking for a room." I said.
"Go to the front desk, they'll help you with that."
"I would but I'm out of money. My parents kicked me out and I have nothing." The man looked at me suspiciously and let me in. He must have decided that I didn't look dangerous.
"I'm letting you in now," He told me. "But I expect something back later."
I got a cup and then went to get some water out of the sink. Drinking the water felt wonderful. After drinking a few glasses, I turned to the man and asked, "What's your name?"
"Philips Noir." Philips said.
We spent a few hours talking together and we ate sandwiches for lunch. It was very peaceful and I liked the change of food. Real food tasted much better than laboratory food.
At sunset Philips looked at me. "Tomorrow there'll be a bus. You're welcome to stay the night." He said. "But you'll have to sleep on the floor." He looked a tad bit saddened at the prospect. I think, if I would have lived with him longer, he would have become a dear friend of mine.
"Thank you." I said and slept soundly on the floor. Philips was kind enough to get a pillow and some sheets for me to use. It was my first night out and it felt a little odd. The room was darker than I was used to. But I did manage to get to sleep.
When I woke up, Philips looked hurried and was packing up. "I'll give you some money for the bus." He said. After he finished packing he handed me some money. It was enough for the bus.
I went out of the room and decided to walk around to explore the area. After ten minutes of exploring, I saw a little bit of paper. Picking it up I saw that it was advertising a drug called Gralg. It was a wonder drug for people with mental disabilities.
"Hey, give me that!" An angry man said from behind me.
Quickly hiding the ad I asked, "Give you what?"
"The bottle." He said and started patting me down, trying to find his bottle. After not finding it he shoved me away. I went to the bus stop.
After waiting a little bit the bus came. After paying the price, I sat down in my seat thinking about Gralg.
The bus trip was long and boring. What made it especially hard to bear was the fact that nothing interesting was happening. For the first hour or two I listened in on conversations, but that only held my interest for so long. Mostly they talked about television shows that I had never heard about. Finally we arrived in a town called Nuscon.
Stepping off the bus, I started to walk around to find a place to stay. There were many small little shops selling items that advertised the place. These must be for what the scientists had called tourists. While looking at a t-shirt through the window, I heard some footsteps. I didn't pay them any mind because there were a lot of people walking by me.
"You new here?" A voice said and I turned around. The man was taller than any of the scientists and looked like a 'tough guy'. He was wearing clothing that called attention to his muscles. If he decided to attack me I might be in trouble.
"Yes," I replied. "I am Matthias, I just arrived here."
"Poor you." The man replied. "My name is Thomas Savan. I've lived here forever. Well, I only moved here when I left my parents." Parents. I didn't remember my parents. I did, a little, but when I thought of my father I always saw someone that looked remarkably like Makija.
My stomach growled and Thomas looked at me. "Want to go for a beer?" He asked me. I had never had alcohol before because the scientists didn't want anything to distract me.
"Sure." I replied and Thomas started walking me to what I assumed would be a bar.
We drank, talked, and ate at the bar. Thomas seemed to be unstable but grew on me the more I drank.
"So, do you have a place to stay?" Thomas asked.
"No." I said and smiled wildly. "I'm on the road with no home."
"Why don't you stay with me? You can stay in my garage."
"You just met me." I said and laughed.
"You're amusing and you have good stories. Though they all have to do with scientists. You like scientists?"
"I'm familiar with them." I replied. I couldn't say more since something kept me from saying the names of the scientists and anything specific about the lab.
"Let's go. I think I spent enough already." Thomas said, seeming to ignore my disdain for the scientists.
-----------------------------------------
"Another pancake?" Thomas asked.
"Yes." I said and Thomas gave me another pancake. I liked the pancakes, though it was weird seeing Thomas do any form of cooking. But, then again, he did live by himself.
"How do you like this place after two weeks of living here?" He asked me and sat down.
"Nuscon is a good place to be."
Thomas shook his head. "You must not have been many places then."
"No, I haven't." I replied truthfully. "So when do you want me to leave?"
"I think I can support you living here a couple of months if you can't find another place." Thomas said.
After I finished my final pancake, I went to the garage and took out the Gralg ad. It appeared to be a fake drug. So why did it interest me?
"Watch out!" Thomas yelled as I nearly went face first into a cactus. I stopped just in time and shook my head. It wouldn't have been the first time that I had run into a cactus today.
"Thanks." I said and looked around for any other objects. Thomas had decided that today would be a great day for me to explore. Unfortunately, he had decided to take me out where there was no one else. So if we got in trouble, no one could help us. But, then again, I should've expected something like that from Thomas.
Looking up I saw that the sun would set in a few hours. I shook my head, Thomas and I had been out in this unknown area nearly all day. Luckily, though, we had brought supplies. Unfortunately, they would run out soon.
"We should start heading home soon." Thomas said. "It'll probably take us around an hour or so to get back to our car."
"Are you ever going to tell me why we are out here?" I asked.
"Does everything need a reason?" Thomas replied and I sighed. Maybe I should have some beer so that Thomas would seem sane to me.
After a little bit, Thomas looked down at a small plant. I could see what type it was: algae. Looking at it I tried to think of why it was out here and what exactly it was.
"Do you know what this is?" Thomas asked.
"No." I replied.
"This will be fun." He said and scraped a little of it off the rock it had been on. He looked at it for a moment and then ate it. "No harm done."
"For now." I replied and thought about taking him to the ER if something should happen. It was remarkably stupid for him to put an unknown substance in his mouth. But I knew that even if I had known what he was going to do I couldn't have stopped him.
"Come on," He said. "Let's go back to the car and go home."
I followed behind Thomas so that if anything should happen I could react quickly. For the first ten minutes nothing happened and then Thomas' walk got slower and his breathing got heavy.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"Probably just a passing phase. Besides, we need to get to the car." He said and we continued on.
Thomas' posture grew more rigid and his breathing grew heavier. I checked the surroundings and realized I couldn't find my way back to the car if my life depended on it. The thought that Thomas was lost also crossed my mind.
"Thomas, are you sure you know where we're going?" I asked.
"Of course I know where we're going." Thomas said and turned to look at me. "Besides, what would you know? You're a loser and can't do anything. Do you know how embarrassing it is for me to cook in front of people? I bet you go out and tell all the people you meet that I cook."
As he continued, I realized that the look in his eyes seemed to grow less and less human. After a few seconds, the last bits of humanity seemed to have left his eyes.
"Dad!" He shouted and ran at me. I was punched down to the ground, rolled over, and dodged a kick from him.
"Thomas, it's me! Matthias!" I shouted, but Thomas seemed to be someone else now. After minutes of running around and dodging attacks, I realized that I'd have to knock Thomas out to escape.
Seeing a shed, I ran towards it. As soon as I went to go towards it, Thomas caught up to me and kicked me down. "Arg." I huffed. As soon as Thomas went to kick me again I caught his leg and made him fall. When he went down he attempted to bite me.
I didn't have much respect for Thomas, but I didn't think he'd ever bite me in anger. He had seemed a little more reserved than that. I managed to move his mouth away from me but he finally got his teeth into me.
I yelled and then punched his face hard enough to make blood come out of his mouth. Whether it was his own blood or my own, I didn't know. Twisting and punching, I managed to get out of his grasp and started running to the shed again. A man came out of the shed and looked at me.
Thomas attempted to punch me and I blocked him. I became lost in the moment and my attacks started to become stronger and stronger. As Thomas yelled Dad, I let out my own yells. An idea of killing him came to me. It would be the only way to stop him forever and he didn't seem to want to talk.
"Bye." I said and aimed to kill Thomas. I picked up a rock and let him punch me once so I could aim for his head. I grew dizzy after the punch, but still managed to hit his head once. His expression grew dizzy and, for a moment, I thought he'd punch me again. Not letting another second pass, I hit him again and he fell to the ground.
Even after he fell down, I kept hitting him with the rock to make sure he was dead and would never attack me again. After brains and blood came out of his head, I decided to stop. I was relieved that the attack was over.
I turned to look at the shed. The man looked shocked and ran back inside. Well, at least Thomas wouldn't attack me again. Though I would miss having a house to stay in.
I started realizing I was breathing heavy and looked at Thomas' dead body. I had killed him and was glad that he wouldn't attack me ever again. Then something hit me all of a sudden and made me realize what an idiot I had been. I hadn't just stopped Thomas: I had stopped him from doing anything else. Maybe if I had just knocked him out he would have gotten better.
Fear overtook me once again and my feet made me stand up. After that they decided to make me run. It was like I was in a drunken stupor. A police siren was picked up by my very attentive ears and I ran in the opposite direction on the road.
The sound of the police siren kept on getting closer and closer to me no matter how fast I ran. The man in the shed must've called the police to inform them of a murder. The murder that I had done.
The car finally got close enough and I still attempted to outrun it. I heard people open the door and I ran under the pressure of exhaustion. I ran for a few seconds before one of the police officers tackled me. I fought with the officer but he easily handcuffed and put me in the backseat of the police car.
After they put me inside the car, they went back to where I had come from. A few minutes later and they were back. The man went in the driver's seat and the woman went in the passenger seat.
They must've not feared me that much to send in only two officers. But that would also mean that it would be likely that I would have escaped when they came.
"Officers," I said. "Thomas Savan was attacking me. I was only defending myself."
"By bashing his brains out?" The female officer asked. "You could have just knocked him out."
"But he would have kept attacking me."
"It still wasn't your decision to make to take his life."
"I'll do better next time." I pleaded to her. When I saw her bow her head I thought I was making some head way with her. "I won't kill next time."
"Sorry, we can't take the chance." The male police officer said.
The ride to the Nuscon Police Station was long to me. I was fearing what they would do to me. The scientists would sometimes talk about the Death Sentence and the best ways to kill a man quickly. They would probably kill me since there was an eyewitness account of me killing Thomas.
I sighed and watched the town of Nuscon, Arizona go by outside the car. There were happy people going by. I had learned that the state I was in was Arizona but was still unaware what state the laboratory was in.
The female police officer walked beside me while the male police officer walked behind me. As I walked inside the station I realized that my final resting place might be Death Row.
I looked down as the Police Chief looked at me. My hands were starting to feel uncomfortable in the handcuffs and the two police officers weren't helping matters either.
"Tell me again how this happened." The Police Chief said.
"Thomas and I were going out exploring. He didn't tell me where we were going." I replied. "Then he ate some green algae and went all crazy. I was only defending myself."
"You are aware that algae only grows in water?" He asked.
"Yes, but that's what it looked like. Whatever it is, it still drove Thomas crazy and made him think I was his dad. Won't you at least look at the substance?"
The Police chief didn't look interested in what I had said. "I'll send some people to confirm what you have said."
"Thank you." I said. I was then escorted to my cell and just sat on the bed. I had been interrogated a lot in the last few hours. Suddenly I saw a young woman in a white dress. But she must've been a hallucination because she seemed like smoke and unlike a normal person. Shaking my head I decided to go to sleep for a little while.
A few hours later I was brought to the Police Chief again. "You said your name is Matthias?"
"Yes, it is." I answered.
"You supplied no last name, birth date, social security number, or parents. Are you playing with us or do you have amnesia?"
I tried to say that the only place other than Nuscon, Arizona I had been was the laboratory. My head started to hurt and made me want to cry out. "Yes." I replied.
The Police Chief must have realized my pause. "We'll have to have someone check you out."
Within the next few days doctors and others were crowding around me. They were making double sure I wasn't lying. I was being brought back to my cell when I turned and saw a familiar face. I had only seen it once but it was familiar none the less. I stopped completely, with my guards trying to force me to leave, and had it sink in that Philips Noir was indeed here.
"Philips!" I yelled to him.
Philips turned to me and walked over to me. The men that were walking with him just stood there. He put a hand on my shoulder and I felt the touch of a good friend.
"Matthias, call me Plague. It sounds less formal and we've known each other for a night. What happened to you? I didn't figure you for a criminal." Plague said.
"I was staying with someone and he attacked me. I ended up killing him." I replied.
Plague grimaced. "Was there no other way? Couldn't you have just knocked him out and gotten away?"
"I wasn't thinking. I just didn't want him to ever hurt me again."
"The first killing is always the one that goes wrong." Plague said. "You had a reason for killing. It wasn't done out of bloodlust."
I could tell that Plague was rationalizing and that he knew what he said wasn't right. Besides, what could Plague do to get me out from jail? He was just a civilian that was probably visiting someone in jail.
"Give me two hours and I'm sure I'll be able to convince them to let you out of here and into my care." He told me and then the guards took me to my cell.
I just sat there waiting for what seemed like days. What would living with Plague be like? Would he betray me like Thomas did? I didn't want to have to kill Plague, but I might have to if he attacked me. Had Plague been lying to me earlier just to make me feel better? I was used to being trapped and treated poorly, but there had been a little charm living in the laboratory. Maybe not a first, but there had been some charm later.
My cell door opened and Plague stepped through the door. "Are you ready to leave?" He asked. "I can get you a different pair of clothes later."
I got off my bed and looked at him. "How did you free me?" I asked him.
"I didn't free you, I put you under my care. I was a CIA agent before. The police here know that and respect my opinion." He said. "They know that I can handle you."
I nodded and followed him out. It sent relief through my body to know that I was somewhat free. I would have to stay with Plague out of thanks to him.
Plague opened the passenger door for me and shut it behind me. It was a thoughtful action but I thought there might be another motive behind it. I was probably thinking about that too deeply, though. And if there was another motive behind it, I didn't mind.
We drove a few hours until we got to a motel. Plague was a wanderer, just like me.
I opened my eyes to the dark room. Turning over I saw that Plague was close by me and I sighed. Even though we now lived in a house, Plague insisted he wanted me to sleep in the same bed so that he could watch over me. Somehow I think his intentions weren't that noble. But I really didn't mind for a reason I couldn't yet comprehend.
I sat on the edge of the bed and wondered why I trusted Plague. For the two weeks we had traveled together I hadn't thought I should trust him so much. Or was I trusting him the right amount? It didn't really matter since I was stuck with him for awhile. Possibly for forever.
My stomach growled and I remembered that there were some leftovers in the fridge. Just as I got outside the bedroom, I heard the sound of someone breaking in. I looked around and was frustrated that there were no weapons around me. Add to that was the fact that the burglar had just entered the house.
Deciding to do the insane, I slowly walked to the back door where it sounded like the burglar had entered the house. The burglar stopped moving as I came closer. When I was finally able to see him by the moonlight, I had to dodge a bullet. The sound was quieted greatly since he was using a silencer.
I lay still as the man came closer and closer towards me. His face was covered and I imagined his face showed no emotion because he felt none. I shivered and hoped that the burglar wouldn't get nervous and shoot at me again. When the man was close enough I kicked at him and he fell down with a grunt. For a few seconds we hit and kicked each other. It seemed like the burglar was weaker than I thought, but he still managed to win the fight.
As the burglar stood up he picked up his gun and looked at me. The gun shook so slightly in his hands that I thought I was imagining the movement. I closed my eyes so I could prepare myself for the end. Even though I hadn't been able to really experience life, life didn't seem to care. I heard a gunshot and then the burglar yelled while falling down.
I opened my eyes and looked at Plague who wore a look that would make the Devil cringe. Luckily it was directed at the burglar and not me. "Thanks." I said to Plague and then looked at the burglar.
I walked over to him and took off his mask. The burglar's middle aged face was in pain from the gunshot wound.
"Please," He moaned in fear. "I only need money for the cure for my wife. Please understand."
"What cure?" I asked the burglar.
"Gralg." The burglar said and I remembered the advertisement that I kept with me. "My wife, she's suffering from some type of depression. I woke up one morning and she was trying to kill herself."
"How-" I started to ask but Plague cut me off. I realized that the memory hurt the man. I decided to take another questioning route. "Couldn't you afford counseling for her?"
"I tried that." The burglar cried out. "But it didn't help. I decided to get Gralg. It was supposed to be the one thing that would save my wife."
"What does this Gralg look like?" Plague asked and I noticed that he was angry.
"It's a green pill. It's very hard to get." The burglar replied.
Plague nodded. "Watch over him, Matthias, I'm going to call the police."
"Okay." I replied and he walked out of the room.
Watching the burglar I started to feel sorry for him. Never mind that he would've killed me just a few minutes ago.
"Please, let me go, I need to save my wife. I don't know if she's alive or not. I need to help her." The burglar begged me.
I thought about disregarding Plague's orders but I felt he had his reasons for turning the burglar in. Mainly that the burglar broke in, entered, and was willing to kill both me and Plague. I shook my head and he moaned louder.
Plague walked back into the room. "I called the police. They'll be here shortly."
I nodded and we all waited. Finally the police came and took the crying burglar away.
"Who was he?" I asked Plague.
"It doesn't matter." He said. "What does matters is that he was going to buy an illegal substance."
"Gralg is illegal?"
"Yes. It was originally created to help those with mental disabilities. But it had some side-effects that were very damaging."
"What were the side-effects?"
"I don't know. But they were bad enough to make it illegal." Plague said.
I thought about Thomas Savan and the green algae. Maybe there was a connection between Gralg and the green algae. Or maybe I just needed more sleep.
I ate the pancakes that Plague had prepared that morning for breakfast. The thoughts about Gralg kept on going through my mind and I found that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was sad that I had lost the Gralg ad to the police. The fact that I had been carrying an ad for the illegal substance probably hadn't earned me any points from them.
I looked at Plague as he ate and wanted to tell him something. As he ate it, it didn't appear like he thought that much about what had happened last night. Of course, he was probably used to such instances. However, I wasn't.
Plague looked up at me and sighed. "Matthias, please tell me you aren't thinking about Gralg."
"Plague, think about it." I said. "Isn't it strange that the substance Thomas ate was green algae? And the fact that Gralg is green and algae put together? The fact that Gralg has side effects so bad that it's been made illegal and what Thomas ate made him go mad?"
"You're just over thinking things. People have complained about me thinking about things too much, but you're going way further than me." Plague took a bite out of one of his pancakes. "I think I know the real reason you want to go looking for Gralg and solve a mystery that isn't really there."
"Why?" I asked.
"You've been inside this house for a long time now. I don't think you were born to stay in one place. A true wanderer." Plague shook his head. "I guess this would relieve some stress and make you see reason. I'll regret this later, but we'll find some Gralg and you'll see that your worries aren't real."
Hours passed before Plague and I spoke again. Not because he thought I was crazy, but because we were both researching in two different directions. When Plague came back he said, "Get in the car. I found a place that might have some Gralg."
I looked outside and noticed that night had come.
I was excited as I got into the car and felt like I was finally on my way to doing something. The ride there was quiet as Plague kept close attention to the road. I had never seen him so concentrated before, but I hadn't known him long, either.
The house we got to was a trailer and in the middle of nowhere. Well, there were houses near, but far enough that a slight disturbance wouldn't be noticed for awhile. Plague and I got out of the car and suddenly there was a shot fired at us.
"Noir, get your slimy ass out of here!" A voice said and another shot was fired. "That goes for your butt buddy too!"
I managed to not get shot, though the bullet had scared my ear as it went by. Looking at Plague I saw him pointing to the trailer. If we left now then we could live without the chance of dying. However, then I probably wouldn't have another chance to get Gralg again. Would I risk the life of my only friend and myself just to get my obsession?
I nodded to Plague and went deep in the shadows as Plague drew the fire of the owner. Each second that I got closer to the trailer I felt horrible for what I was doing to Plague. However, I couldn't go back now.
Plague managed to get the owner away from the trailer and allowed me in. I felt scared as I entered the trailer and raced to find the Gralg. Hours seemed to pass before I found the Gralg. It was labeled in pill bottles under towels in the bathroom.
I took all the pill bottles and raced out of the trailer. In my fear I could only focus on running all the way back to Plague's house. I felt a bullet go through my hair at one point but I don't know if that really even happened.
I fell down on Plague's doorstep and passed out.
I was driving and Plague was asleep beside me. I was new to driving, or at least I didn't have any memories about it from before the lab, and so I was concentrating very hard on the road. Plague had already driven a lot on our mission and so I had decided to practice while he slept. I liked that he trusted me with his life.
I had trusted him with something much more valuable last night. I had come out of the shower when I saw Plague lying on the bed. It wasn't a fancy bed by any means, just a cheap motel one. I wasn't surprised, though, our relationship had been growing. He was taking things at my speed, which was faster than it was slow.
Nodding my agreement, Plague took me through my first sexual experience. Well, my first that I could remember. The enjoyment I got to being so close to Plague was exhilarating. However, the physical feelings that I experienced were not as enjoyable. He was kind enough not to do anything too rough or extreme.
By the end of the night I had grown comfortable with gay sex. It was enjoyable but, somehow, lacking in an area I couldn't figure out. Plague and I had a conversation afterwards and he reassured me that it wasn't unusual for virgins to be frightened. I then realized I would have much more time to grow closer to my lover. And I wanted to grow as close to Plague as I could in every area.
I shook my head and concentrated on the road. I, Matthias, didn't have time to think about Plauge right now. Making sure I didn't crash was much more of a concern. Finally the gas station was in sight and I pulled up.
The only one that paid any attention to me was a bum. I got out of the car and started to pump gas. All throughout this the bum just continued to look at me. It was uncomfortable to have such a gaze thrown at me. While Plague did sometimes stare at me, it was full of adoration. The bum's gaze, however, was judgmental and ready for a fight.
After I filled the car up I walked to the bum. I was scared for my life and didn't know if Plague could wake up in time to save me. But, on the other hand, he had trained me to fight. I was a beginner, but could hold my ground.
When I approached the bum I gave him a signal. It was made up of sounds and gestures. The combinations wouldn't make sense to a random person watching. It would just seem like I was yelling at the bum.
The bum looked at me closely and nodded. He told me a location in Sante Kol, New Mexico where the people we were looking for were located.
I walked to the car, got in, and started to drive to the location that the agent had given me. Though I'd always think of him as a bum.
Sante Kol, New Mexico was a little hard to find. But Plague and I were finally able to find it. The small neighborhood had a forboding atmosphere. As Plague was now driving, I was free to worry. Worry that I would get Plague hurt because of my stupidity.
Upon driving up the house's driveway, I put my gun into my hand. Mine was small and not all that powerful. That was okay by me since it meant that if I messed up I wouldn't kill Plague. I got out and turned to see Plague hold his own gun. Much more powerful but also controlled by trained hands.
Nodding to each other we walked quickly to the front door. Though my feet's movements were quick, it felt like time slowed down and sped up at the same time. I wasn't ready for an attack at this time. But the mission had to be obeyed. If not, I would never find out the secrets of Gralg.
When we were a foot away from the door a gun shot was fired. I froze and then I fired my first shot. With that one shot my worries slipped away. Other shots followed and then I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"You were good, Matthias." Plague's voice said and I turned to see a smile on his face. Looking around the room I saw that the people were merely injured and not dead.
"How many of those were mine?" I asked.
"Enough." He said. I didn't know if that was a bad or good thing. "Now help me make sure that they don't die."
The people we 'helped' didn't seem happy about it. The faces I looked at were either scared, angry, or a combination of both. When we were done, we tied them up.
After a minute I was finally able to calm down enough to inspect myself. I couldn't find any wounds on myself.
"Are you okay, Plague?" I asked. I was more worried about him than myself.
"Not a scratch." He replied and smiled at me.
"What do we do now?"
"You stay here, watch over these people, and wait until I return."
"Return?" I asked.
"I need to search the whole house." Plague explained. "Besides, I know what to look for better than you."
"Fine." I said and shrugged.
He put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll get your turn."
I put on a small smile and he left.
A few seconds after Plague left one of the men asked, "What's happening, John?"
My name wasn't John, but that man was speaking to me.
"What did you call me?" I asked the man.
"John." The main repeated.
I shook my head. "My name is Matthias."
"Dammit, John, Henry must have done something to you." He said. "Your father is Henry Johnson. My name is George Hunder."
I sat by him, making sure that my guard wasn't lowered. It was impossible to know if George was telling the truth. His ass, along with his group, had been kicked. Plague and I had entered with hardly any resistance. I was simple minded, yes, and didn't have all of my memory. This made using the promise of knowing my past a good strategy.
I thought for a moment. Only Makija and the scientists at the lab would know about that. I was sure my impact upon everyday life wasn't great at all.
"Were we friends?" I asked George. If he said yes it would make believing him nearly impossible. Of course he would want me to think that he had been my friend. A friend would let him escape. I, not knowing him, wouldn't.
George shook his head. "We knew each other, but we were never friends." He looked me in the eyes. "I couldn't get that close to you because of your father."
"What was wrong with my father?"
"He was controlling you and you were scared." He looked around the room at his comrades and then turned his attention back to me. "You were the son of a scientist and all you were allowed to be was a janitor. Know what the worst part was?"
I shook my head and George replied, "He must've been doing things to you for years. The last day I saw you, you looked horrible. After that, it was impossible to find you." He laughed. "Hell, even finding your father became impossible."
"What was John like?" I asked.
"He was a good man. I hardly know more than that." George said. "And that's all I need to know."
I heard footsteps and pointed my gun at Plague.
"Jumpy?" He asked with a smile.
"Yeah," I replied. "Jumpy."
Plague took a second look at my face. "Are you okay, Matthias?" He asked and then looked at George. George became completely still as he realized Plague was who he had to be worried about. I wasn't much, but Plague could cause serious damage when he wanted to.
"Someone causing you problems?" When Plague said 'someone' he looked at George to show who he was talking about.
I shook my head. "He wasn't harrassing me or anything."
"Bullshit." Plague said. "So what's your name?"
"George Hunder." George replied.
"So, George, what are you doing here? We tracked a Gralg tip here."
"We were experimenting with Gralg. That is true."
"Even though you knew it is illegal?"
"What does it do? Why did it become illegal?" I asked. I realized that this could be one of the few chances I would get an answer to the question.
"The side effects." George started. "For most people it makes them rage instantly upon it being put into their mouths. There are a few that don't get that reaction but, instead, get the intended reaction. The intended reaction is helping the mentally disabled become like everyone else."
"So you were experimenting to make it better?" Plague asked.
George shook his head. "I knew that it wouldn't become legal anytime soon and...there was someone who needed Gralg." He paused for a moment. I assumed he wasn't lying due to the sadness in his eyes. "I, and my group, were experimenting to be able to hide it better. We were trying to make it into a plant. Unfortunately some escaped. We don't know when or how. Well, at least the exact time."
Plague crossed his arms and turned to me. He was making me part of the decision process. Even though I was untrained he was giving me a chance.
"He does have someone." I said to Plague.
"But he started an outbreak of Gralg." Plague turned to George. "I'm going to call the police but I'll tell them to go light on you for Matthias' sake."
I was going to say 'Thank You' but I realized that wouldn't be good. I thought he knew what George had told me. Or at least that George knew who I really was.
Plague left the room to call the police. I was left alone with George and his group. Unlike the last time, there was no talking. The police came and took George and his group. Plague stood by me.
"Don't worry," He said. "We'll figure out this Gralg business and then you can find out who you are."
I nodded. John Johnson. That was my real name. If George was telling the truth.
As was becoming normal for my routine with Plague, I was sipping my cup of tea. Plague was doing sudoku while letting his tea cool. If I even tried to suggest something he would bring up my bad relationship with boredom. But this time it was different. George Hunder knew who I was. John Johnson.
Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I walked over to Plague and touched his shoulder. He looked up at me and his expression turned sour quickly.
"Matthias, we have to stay here." He told me firmly.
"But why?" I asked.
"I told you before, we don't have any leads."
"That's because you haven't helped me with looking." I said angrily.
"No, we haven't been given anything." Plague replied. "That means we haven't gotten any authorization."
I knew what would make him change his mind. Make him more of a rebel, in a sense. So I bent down and kissed him on the lips. Kissing had been difficult for me at first, but I had improved. When he pushed back I knew I had him. After a few minutes we pulled away.
Plague smiled and said, "You're growing up. You're using your attractiveness to open doors." He paused for a moment. "I must say it worked. I'll grant leeway if you get a good lead."
I kissed him again, but meant it. There was a difference in the second kiss. It felt natural.
Over the next few hours I surfed the web. Though it felt more like drowning in the web to me. There were no solid leads. Some people were noticing Gralg, but nothing that could be used.
Then, like the big bang, there was a lead. It was something out of nothing. But, that being said, Plague wouldn't buy it. The site was one formed by conspiracy theorists. They talked about something similar to Gralg, in some aspects, but completely different in others.
The biggest difference was that their Gralg was a bioweapon made by the government. What was their Gralg supposed to do? To do what Gralg was doing: making 'rage zombies'. Or, in calmer terms, making people attack each other.
All in all, Plague wouldn't take any leads from this website. So I continued to search.
18: Spreading 2Searching had done nothing. Three months and I still hadn't gotten any leads that had pleased Plague. Especially any that he'd even look at. Sipping at my tea I turned to look at the tv. It was again giving another Gralg Update. I turned away when even the reporter couldn't keep the tears out of her eyes.
"You okay, Matthias?" Plague asked.
Turning to him I said, "Three months, Plague. In that time the whole USA has been nearly taken over."
"We couldn't have done anything to stop it."
I threw my cup against the wall. "Fucking bullshit!" I yelled. "Total fucking bullshit. The only reason we haven't been able to do shit is because of you!"
Plague sighed. It was amazing how calm he could remain in times of stress. Like it was just an average day.
"I don't like this happening anymore than you." He replied. "But I have rules I have to follow. You don't. You could've left anytime you wanted to."
I kept my attention at the tea crawling down the wall. I didn't want to admit that I had made a mistake.
"I could change that now." I replied. "I'm going now to stop it from spreading to Canada."
A slight smile formed over his mouth and I didn't know why. For a moment he was silent and then he said, "Let me see if I can come with you."
As he went over to the computer I realized that I didn't want to go without him. I didn't want to go without someone having my back. And who else than my lover? The one who had helped me greatly so far?
For a few hours I watched the Gralg Updates. I wanted to stop it from spreading any further. And I realized that I'd have to choose between stopping Gralg and being with Plauge. Taking that decision any further wasn't something I wanted to do. Not ever.
"Good news." Plague finally said and I rushed over to him. "There's a hospital by the US/Canada Border. The hospital needs some help and then we can go stop the spread of Gralg."
I leaned over to better look at the screen and smiled. "Thank you." I said.
19: Spreading 3Plague turned the shower off and didn't seem happy. When he stepped out I didn't think he was mad either. I stepped out of the shower and looked down at my penis. Even though I loved Plague more than stopping Gralg, I had trouble getting hard for him. Plague's body was angelic and my penis couldn't muster the strength to worship him.
"I'm sorry." I told him and started to dry myself off. "I don't know why it wouldn't get up today."
Plague replied with a shrug. After we got dressed he finally said, "I don't mind. We'll find a solution one day."
I nodded but I didn't believe it. I knew, from the way the scientists had spoken about sex, that it was important in a relationship. And if I couldn't please Plauge, would we last? I shook my head. First defeat Gralg and then there'll be time to think about my sex life.
After packing up, I took the wheel and Plague took shotgun. There was a long drive ahead of us and it was mostly quiet. Not because of what happened in the shower this morning, but because we were focused on what could happen. After two hours a small conversation started to form.
Finally I let my feelings out, "Do you think we'll last?"
Plague stared at me for a moment. "You understand that your...problem isn't unique, right?" He finally replied. "You just have more trouble than most people. I don't think you like me less because of something you can't control."
"But you aren't pleasured by me as you could be by another man."
"That's not the point. We can get you something if you want."
"That would be good." I said and the problem was washed away. Plague put a hand on my leg and smiled at me.
However, I couldn't get it out of my head that I wasn't into men. It was so hard to get hard. But I also felt love for Plague that made my body and mind at odds with one another.
Finally we arrived. The hospital was in Gold City, Montana. Luckily, Gold City wasn't hit by Gralg yet. Though there had been traces of Gralg spotted elsewhere in Montana.
As we walked towards the door, two interns were there to greet us.
20: Spreading 4One of the interns brought me some tea. I thanked her and took a sip. Not the best, but I didn't mind. I was out on a mission to stop Gralg. Plague looked at me and I replied with a smile. He then put a hand on my shoulder and I realized I had to be serious. Whatever the cause was for this mission, I had to be calm and controlled to everyone but Plague.
"So, Noir, you know why you were called here?" One of the interns asked.
"Yes," I replied. When the two interns looked confused, I realized my mistake. "We both know why we are here. There's an unusal case."
"Who are you?" The other intern asked.
"His name is Matthias." Plague replied. "I'm sorry that he replied for me. We've both been cooped up for months."
"So then you know about the woman who isn't affected by Gralg?" One of the interns asked. She had blonde hair and a tired look to her eyes. "We thought maybe you'd be able to tell us why she hasn't gone into rage zombie mode."
"From what I could find out from George Hunder, she should be affected." Plague replied.
"Do you have any experience?" The male intern asked suspiciously.
"A little. Matthias doesn't have any, though." Was Plague's reply. "But this is purely a scouting mission for now."
A short while later the two interns began to take us to the woman. The woman intern's name turned out to be Susan Helms. She was nervous. I made sure that my gun could be easily taken out. But why should I be worried? This woman wouldn't be a rage zombie and there'd be no danger to any of us.
Susan and the other intern stood outside the door. Plauge opened the door and I followed him. The pregnant woman didn't respond at all.
"She's not breathing." I said after looking at her chest.
He nodded and went over to her. He bent down and looked at her crotch. His face quickly turned to a horrified expression. As he opened his mouth to speak, I saw a blur going towards him.
In one swift motion I took out my gun and shot at the blur. A baby's laughter followed the bang from my gun. I looked for Plague and saw him hit the blur and then get up. I ran to stand in front of him but then the blur went behind him and we were both pushed to the ground.
Plauge got up and I shot at the blur. After I shot, Plague aimed at the blur. When he shot I aimed at the blur. Suddenly a tentacle, that reminded me of an artery, came towards me. It nearly knocked me off my feet while Plague finally shot the blur.
I ran over to the blur and stepped on the baby's head. Blood touched both Plague and I. His face turned green but mine stayed calm. A feeling of happiness came over me. We were both safe.
The two interns rushed in and the man screamed. I suddenly realized that babies meant something to people. So why didn't I feel sad at its death at all?
21: Spreading 5We all sat on the floor. We didn't yet have the strength to get up. Susan had shut the door to the now dead woman and her blur. The silence was uncomfortable. It made me more uneasy than seeing the blur. More uneasy than stepping on the blur's head.
"You can say it." I finally said.
"There had to have been another way." Susan replied. "But, really, you had to react to the situation as it happened. I can't be mad at you for that."
"You saved my life." Plague agreed with a smile. That simple smile made me feel better.
"But why did it happen?" Susan asked. "The woman was clean. She wasn't going to turn into a rage zombie anytime soon."
This caused more silence as we thought. What Susan had asked was the most important question. Finally there was sound.
"I hardly think that matters." The male intern said. His voice was devoid of hope. "It happened."
Susan shook her head. I assumped his reply was normal. Though I found it offensive.
"What about her eggs?" I asked and then paused. "When did she get pregnant?"
Susan thought for a moment. "There was time for her eggs to get infected."
"Still doesn't make sense, though." Plague replied.
"George Hunder did mention that some of the test subjects weren't infected." I remembered. "What if the people were infected, but just not like other people?"
Plague nodded and replied, "It wouldn't surprise me if he hid things from us." He turned to look at the two confused interns. "George Hunder is the reason there is a Gralg Outbreak. We were able to talk to him."
The interns nodded. After half an hour we went to sit in the lobby. After a few hours backup came.
An army officer spoke to just Plague and I. The interns, and others in the hospital, were being questioned by officials before being let free to go home.
"We think there might be a doctor who can help us understand Gralg." The officer said. "He isn't involved with it, that we know of, but he could have valuable information. You two are to find him and bring him to headquarters. Wherever that might be in the future."
"But you must think he has the information or else why seek him out? Why can't you call him up?" Plague asked.
"He's been off the grid for awhile." The officer replied. "Or, at least, has been living under a different name."
"So what's his name?"
"Henry Johnson."
"We'll find him as soon as possible." I said without a second thought. That name. The name of my possible father. If I was, as George had said, John Johnson. Henry's son.
"Hold on," Plague said and put a hand on my shoulder. "What field of science is Johnson known for."
"It's the kind that'll help us fight back against Gralg." The officer replied. "That's all the information that I was given."
Plague nodded and he tried to keep up with me as I rushed to our car. Once we got in the car he turned to me and said, "Just let it out." Though he said it with anger, I could hear amusement in his voice.
"George Hunder did call me John Johnson." I said eagirly. "He said Henry Johnson is my father."
"And what if he was telling the truth?" Plague questioned. "George didn't say you two had the best relationship. Hell, I'd be surprised if Henry would be happy to find out that you're alive."
I thought about Yuji Makija. He had wanted me to survive, though his method had been odd. I didn't understand it, but it did make sense. Would my own father, if Henry was him, give me a logical explanation as well?
That didn't matter. What mattered now was finding him. As the hospital faded into the background, I felt more hope than ever before.
22: Love and Sex 1Plague had been so kind to me. I, Matthias, hadn't done much for him. I had gotten him shot and nearly killed. But a simple bushel of flowers was all I could give him now. Not roses but lillies. For some reason, I thought lillies would be a much better match for him. At least as a gift from me.
The waves crashed against the rocky shore but could barely be heard in the shop. Plague would be waiting for me, but he could wait. As I turned my head I felt a new emotion. An emotion that was foreign to me even with Plague by my side. I shook my head as the woman walked by.
Though I didn't want to, I looked at her breasts. Lovely and full. They were yelling at me to do anything to them. To enjoy them any way that I wished. My eyes drifted downward to admire her legs. Her legs were mostly uncovered. Before the Gralg Outbreak it would've been because it was a choice, now it was by chance that her jeans had been torn.
My eyes drifted to her face and I wondered if her vagina hid infected eggs that would create a Blur. But the only thing that mattered now was the light that went off in her eyes as she looked at me. It promised something that my dick suddenly grew hard for. It yearned for it like it had never yearned for Plauge.
"Hi," She said and walked close to me. I felt the need for her grow with each step. Plauge! Remember Plague! "My name is Jillian."
"Uh, um, Matthias." I said and felt my cheeks grow warm from an unknown heat. I thought that the scientists might've talked about it before.
She smiled as she thought I was a virgin. I was only a virgin in the sense that I had never felt lust before. Not this kind of lust. What was it about this woman?
"Coffee?" I asked. That was a normal thing to ask, right?
"Sure." She replied and I forgot everything else. I was in a cloud of forgetfullness until I sat down with Jillian for coffee.
What she got and what I drank didn't matter. What mattered was that I had betrayed Plague. How could it get any worse?
"Gralg." Jillian finally said.
"What about it?" I asked as I remembered why I chose tea over coffee.
"Why did it happen?"
"Because people didn't leave well enough alone."
"What does that mean?"
I shrugged and nearly felt like puking up my coffee.
"Gralg used to be a drug to help people but it made them into rage zombies. And some people kept on testing and released it into the world."
Jillian laughed and I felt like kissing her. I just wanted to let myself go. But I couldn't. Plauge. But as the conversation continued I realized we were both scared. We both needed to be reassured by any means neccesary. Physical, though, it had to be physical.
"Where are you staying?" I asked and she leaned forward to kiss me. No one in the cafe looked at us. We were just two people trying to find escape in each other.
She took my hand and lead me to an apartment. The next few hours were full of pain and pleasure. Sweat and blood. Lust and moaning. When we were done we just fell asleep in each other's arms.
23: Love and Sex 2When I woke up the next morning Jillian was no longer in my arms, nor was I in hers. I sat up slowly and felt the pain hit me in a big wave. True, it was my first time, and a lot of pain would be in that. What would Plague think?
Hopefully he would think that I had gotten into a fight and would be afraid for me. We would make up quickly and things would be back to normal. I couldn't stand to lose Plague. Especially since Jillian was gone now.
After a few minutes I put on my clothing. How certain articles got to certain places I would never know. Not unless I wanted to be horny again. And Plague would notice my erection if it happened in his presence.
I cleaned up as best I could so that no one, especially Plague, would get too worried. Yes, worried. That was the word to use. Before I left the apartment I checked around for my cell phone. It was lost and possibly broken.
Once I got out of the apartment I had to quickly head to where I thought our car was. I was wrong the first few times, but I finally found it. When I saw Plague's face I smiled and walked quickly towards him. Then I noticed something odd. Something was off.
"Plague?" I asked.
"Where did you get those scars?" He asked me.
"I..." I wanted to lie, but I couldn't. Not to the only one who had ever truly loved me. "I had sex with a woman. Jillian."
"A woman?" He asked and shook his head. "So you can hardly fuck me but you can have your way with a woman. Have it so rough that you bleed?"
I rubbed a scar from my chin to the bottom of my throat. "I-"
"I don't care." He yelled loudly. So loudly that some of the few people turned to look at us. "The fact is that I thought that you loved me. I thought you had ED. I thought you were doing your best to try and have sex with me."
"I do love you!"
"You have quite a way of showing it."
As the argument continued I wished it would stop. I didn't want this. I didn't want to lose Plague.
24: Love and Sex 3I didn't mind that the motel room looked worse than the one I first met Plague in. I didn't mind that Gralg was slowly taking over the world. I didn't mind that I didn't know who I was. All that mattered was my only love sitting on the other bed. Plague wouldn't even touch me after our arguement was finished. I wished that he'd hit me just so I knew he could touch me.
"Please say something." I begged and Plauge just looked at me. Anger and hate were the only things that I could see in his eyes.
"Anything." I continued.
"Tell me why you fucked Jillian and I'll listen to you." Plague said and crossed his arms. With his former training I knew he could hurt me. Hell, the only reason he wasn't hurting me now was because he had orders. That man knew how to follow orders.
"I don't know what happened." I told him. "I've never encountered lust but I saw Jillian and some new emotion came over me. I wanted to ravage her in the flower shop."
"What flower shop?"
"The one I was going to buy you flowers in." I said and there was a long silence. "I didn't want to talk to Jillian because of...lust. In the end I couldn't help myself. I'm attracted to you, Plague, but not the lust like I felt for Jillian."
"Do you love her?" He asked.
"Hell no!" I yelled out and he, for once, was scared of me. "I love you and only you. Jillian offered something and the only reason I accepted was because I never felt lust before."
"Come on, you must have. You're..."
"Twenty-five years old."
"Exactly. You must have fucked in high school. I tried girls before just to make sure I was really gay."
"I've never been to high school."
This made Plague pause and I wanted to tell him the truth so bad. "You were homeschooled?"
"No." I said and my head started to hurt. "Not home schooled."
"You seem somewhat educated." Plague said.
"Scientists." I replied and there was silence. "I woke up in a lab. Those are the first memories I remember. That's why I believe what George Hunder says."
Plauge and I sat in silence again. But this time I thought I saw pity in Plague's eyes.
25: Love and Sex 4"So you're not human?" Plague finally asked.
I looked at him and just stared. Of course I was human! My real name was John Johnson. Was he trying to insult me?
"I'm human. What would make you think that I'm not?" I asked.
"You mean besides waking up in a lab with no memory?" He asked sarcastically.
"Yeah," I replied. "Besides that."
"Well, you haven't found anyone sexually appealing before Jillian." Plague said and had to gather himself before continuing. "Neither man nor woman, right?"
"Yes." I said and shuffled my feet.
"So what made Jillian different?" He asked and I tried to think of a reason. But all women looked the same to me. I never really cared about breasts or legs or anything else.
"I don't know." I replied and Plague jumped up.
"Exactly!" Plague exclaimed. "Exactly! It's because however you were programmed makes you think like that. Hell, maybe Jillian was sent to activate your sexual urges."
"And maybe I just had an odd incident."
"Bull fucking shit. Don't you realize how odd that is?"
"So I'm not human. I'm not John Johnson." I said sadly and Plague sat down beside me.
"So what if you're not human, I still love you." He said and put an arm around me. "Maybe now we'll finally have that great sex together."
"Is that all that matters to you?"
"No, what matters is that I don't know what you are. But what I do know is that there will be some instances where you won't be in control." He replied. "Mind you I don't like that you slept with Jillian and I probably won't ever get over that. But I still love you dearly. All we have to do is control that urge."
With that we kissed and all seemed to be forgiven. The kiss, though, seemed to be repulsive. But I held the kiss steady until Plague broke away.
"We will find Henry Johnson and he'll be able to help." Plague whispered into my ear.
26: Origins 1The building appeared in the distance. It came closer and closer as Plague drove faster. I leaned back in my seat and recalled Jillian. Luckily enough, Plague had grown calmer with each passing hour.
Maybe it was the fact that the world was ending. Or the fact that he truly loved me. Whatever the reason: it seemed that he had forgiven me. Now the only thing affecting me about her was the why of the situation.
Finally we reached the building and I got out of the car quickly. I couldn't believe what I saw.
"Matthias!" Plague yelled. I didn't care if anyone affected by Gralg came after me. I was home.
I stopped in front of the familiar entrance.
"It's home." I told Plague as he caught up with me. "This is the place with the scientists."
He put his hand on my shoulder. "Well, let's get your father and get out of here."
"Yeah," I said while smiling. "Let's do that."
I held onto Plague's hand as we pushed the door that promptly fell down. What this place had been, it wasn't now. The way it shined was gone as well as the people. Except for the few corpses that were lying on the ground. The most shocking thing about the corpses was that there seemed to be no trace of Gralg from their attackers.
Plague and I looked at each other.
"You going to be able to handle yourself?" He asked.
"Yes." I replied. Though I was uncertain if I would be able to.
Plague seemed to pick up on my nervousness but still left me to my own devices. And my own devices took me back to my old room and, finally, the table that I had woken up on. Before the table there had been nothing that I could remember.
Maybe if I went onto the table I could remember what I had forgotten. As I took my first trepid steps, my foot pushed against a corpse. I jumped back and looked down. When I looked down I saw that it was Yuji Makija.
27: Origins 2My mind was at once loud and silent. A million thoughts went a thousand different directions. I was finding out I was important and useless all at once. If Plague were to ask me what I was thinking i couldn't tell him.
As Makija's tape finished, I tried to become calm again. No need to appear to be freaked out if Plague were to come back soon. I looked down at the tape player, such an ancient device to humans, and wondered why.
To calm myself down I felt the tape player and tried to gain focus. There was no doubt in my mind that Makija's final recording was the most honest thing he had ever said. No matter how much it pained me now, and probably would in the future, I couldn't doubt the things said on the tape.
I heard footsteps and looked up in anticipation of Plague. Maybe he could erase what I had heard on the tape. As he entered the room, I got off the table I had been sitting on. He looked at the tape player and then my face.
"Did you find out too?" I finally asked him.
"I found out that Yuji Makija is Henry Johnson." Plague paused before continuing. "He is your father."
I laughed sadly. "No, he wasn't my father. I have no father."
"But, John," I felt my mind race and slow at the mention of the name when Plague said it. "You've known for awhile what your real name and father are."
"I'm not Matthias. I'm not John Johnson. I have no real father." This time it was my turn to pause. "Johnson dealt with cloning."
As the implications entered Plague's mind I said, "I guess you can call me Clohn now."
28: Origins 3"So Henry Johnson was cloning." Plague started. "He wanted to become immortal because he feared death. It isn't that unusual of a reason."
"He saw his mother die at a young age." I said, recalling what the tape had taught me. "He was scarred for life. It wasn't wrong what he did."
Plague looked me over and then continued. "So we have a scared child that went into cloning to become immortal. So-"
"Why me?" I asked. "He wanted to test to make sure the process worked before he did it on himself."
"So there were more of you made?"
"The tape said I was the last of the John Johnson batch." I replied.
Plague nodded. "Johnson saw you as the most likely chance of success and so he sent you out into the world to test you."
I rubbed my head where the tracking chip had been pulled out of. It would probably be sore for days. "Yeah," I finally said. "He wanted to see if my memories would come back and if I could survive."
"But nothing came back until that whore."
"Jillian. Yes." I said but was unsure why anything would happen with Jillian and no one else. Then it clicked. Though not all the way. "I'm only going to enjoy sex with women. I wish I could enjoy it with you, Plauge."
A tear started to form in Plague's eye. "Yes, Matthias. But at least now I understand if you don't want to be with me. That it isn't your fault. I know how to deal with my urges but that burden shouldn't be passed to you."
I took notice of how he didn't use my new name of Clohn. "I will always stay with you, Plague."
Plague laughed and shook his head. "No you won't. You're straight now."
I walked over to him slowly and made my decision. He was the only one I loved, even if my body didn't admit it. He was the only one that had truly loved me. I couldn't give him up for the world.
I took his hand in mine and slowly went to kiss him on the lips. I knew at once it was desperation and the truth all mixed into one glorious moment. Plague knew my confusion and certainty too. Even through my emotions he managed to kiss back.
We broke away and looked into each other's eyes. "I love you, Matthias." Plague said.
"I love you so much more, Plague." I replied in relief at knowing I had made the right decision.
"I know." Plague said and took out his phone. The next few minutes were him explaining the situation to those in charge.
Plague gave the information that Yuji Makija, formerly known as Henry Johnson, was dead and would've been useless anyways. A cloner wasn't what the army was after. They also wouldn't be interested to know I was the last clone of John Johnson. Nor that I was in love with Plague.
29: Last Chance 1It seemed like a lifetime ago that I woke up in the lab and didn't know what I was. I knew what I was now and that scared me at times. But that was to be expected. I was a clone and so was I really me? That question had to be set aside as Plague and myself were making a report to our superiors.
We were in an elementary school classroom. That's what it used to be, at least. Now it had been assigned as a base for the army and those who fought against the people infested by Gralg.
I looked at Plague and calmed myself down. It wasn't that the people frightened me as much as what our report contained. The world had been ending and now there was only time to throw one final punch before everything crumbled. I didn't mind the odds when there was hope, but there didn't seem to be any of that now.
"We have a solution." Plague said and our superiors just looked at him with interest. "The scientists in Winchester, Kentucky are just about to finish their work. Once that is done we should have a shot at curing the infected and immunizing every one."
Our superiors started talking in hushed tones to each other before turning back to us.
"And what do you think, Clohn?" One of them asked.
I was proud at having my new name being used. It was an honor to have my past recognized. Not because my past was good, but because I know knew it. I knew where I came from.
"I believe that is our best option." I replied. "These scientists will be our last chance against stopping the end of the world. If you're worried about the risk, Plague and myself can go. That way you won't lose a lot of men."
"Though I am loathe to single out any one person as being important," A different superior said. "You and Plague are two of our best men. I would think it would be more prudent to consider the fact that both of you might die on this mission."
"With respect, sir," Plague replied and moved closer to the front of what used to be a classroom. Already the effects of the Gralg infestation could be seen here, though the actual Gralg had not yet been spotted on the premise. "We are hardly the most useful people you have at your command. There are other more experienced people that would be able to take our place."
Our superiors again talked to each other before saying anything to us. These moments were the most stressful as having to wait for an answer got very stressful quickly. If Plague and I weren't allowed on this mission then I'd have to twiddle my thumbs wanting to do something. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad for Plague, but it would be torture for me.
"Matthias, don't worry." Plague looked back and whispered to me. I gave him a half-hearted smile and he turned to face our superiors again.
Finally our superiors turned to us.
"We will let you get the scientists out of Kentucky. If you know you are about to fail the mission, turn back. We won't risk you if you purposefully put yourself into harm's way." The one who had spoken first said.
We saluted our superiors and then left to go back to the small office that we were using as a bedroom. Upon entering I sat down in a chair.
"You're nervous?" Plague asked me.
"I'm excited." I said. "But, yes, I'm also nervous. What if they're right and we're risking our lives for nothing? Wouldn't it be better to just wait for the end of the world than dying trying to stop it?"
"We won't die. Besides, do you really want to sit around here and just do nothing?"
"Thought it worked out well last time."
"I think we're recalling events differently." Plague said with a hint of a smile.
"But, yes, doing something is much preferable to sitting around and doing nothing." I replied.
"I need you to stay sane until this is all over."
Looking at his face I knew that tonight might be our last peaceful night together if the mission didn't go correctly. If it turned out the scientists didn't really have a cure then the world would continue to be taken over by the infected until all human life was gone. If Plague died then I didn't know what I'd do. At least in the first scenario I knew I could fight in place of thinking too deeply. But what was the point of living in a peaceful world without Plague by my side?
"Yeah, until this is all over." I said while trying to keep the pain from my voice.
"I'll be fine." Plague replied and took my hands in his own. "This mission will be a success and then we can start a life together."
We kissed and then spent the entire night without letting go of each other.
---------------------------------
I packed up what I would need for the mission. Food, clothing, and weapons. My excitement to be doing something was kept in check by the worry that things wouldn't go as planned. It was unlikely that this mission would go smoothly.
I sat down in the passenger seat and watched as Plague sat down in the driver's seat.
"We'll be back to normal soon." Plague said and started the car.
"And have all the pancakes we want." I replied with a hopeful smile.
30: Last Chance 2The atmosphere in the car was tense. We had been driving for awhile and getting gas had been a chore. A little taste of the battle yet to come. If there was going to be a battle and not a massacre. Plague and I had come close to dying when we had stopped to go to the restroom. We both didn't want to stop but the drive wasn't short enough that we could make it without relieving ourselves at least once.
I looked at Plague and saw him remaining calm. I checked my own expression in the side view mirror and didn't like what it revealed. My face looked like it was holding back a breakdown. I tried to control my face and finally managed to make it similar to Plague's.
He turned to me and smiled, but then his face returned to his former calm expression.
A few minutes later I saw the town come into view and felt fear like I hadn't before. This was it. This was the final move towards humanity's salvation. And my first look at the city showed that our task was going to be far from easy.
Plague stopped the car and we quickly got our weapons as the screaming in the distance continued. I steadied my hands as I gathered my weapons for this venture. I looked at the food and reminded myself that Plague and I would have a picnic once this mission was over. I cocked my gun and looked at Winchester.
It might've been a beautiful city in the past, but now Gralg was all over the buildings and ground. Inspecting my surroundings I saw movements of the infected. We had been noticed.
Turning to Plague I saw him looking at me.
"This is it." He said and we kissed briefly.
"For good luck?" I joked and a hint of a smile was shown on his lips.
We then put on our masks to protect us from any airborne Gralg that decided to come our way. I hated the new rule of wearing masks as they felt uncomfortable on my face. But I knew that every one had to stay safe.
Plague set a slow and steady pace as we came close to entering the city, but I just wanted to run. I hated waiting because danger felt more real that way. Waiting allowed my mind to wander to places that I wanted to keep hidden. And those places were meant to stay hidden or else I'd lose my sanity.
After an eternity the waiting was over. An infected came towards me and I shot it. I yelled in joy as the possibility of surviving became real to me. I was reminded that celebrating too early is dangerous as a bullet flew inches behind my head and killed an infected.
"Tha-" I said and turned my attention to the infected that were quickly coming after us.
I hid behind a trashcan after battling more infected and rested for a second. I had to calm myself down or else I'd be useless to every one. I had to save the world so I had to focus.
Once an infected came up behind me I was drawn out of my own thoughts. I kicked it and it fell down while grabbing my leg. I shot it in the head and got up quickly.
Where was Plague?
I started running around shooting down the infected in my way. Blood filled the places where I walked, but I couldn't find him. When I thought he was dead or worse I heard a gunshot. There he was and I battled my way to the small store.
We nodded to each other and a woman's scream made us turn our heads to watch. The infected were backing away from this one woman. They were excited. Had I passed other uninfected people? It was possible because my mind was only focusing on the infected. It was those people that were dangerous.
As her screams increased and she fell down with her legs spread, I knew what was going to happen. I didn't want to focus on the future. I didn't want to focus on the thing that was slowly coming out of her.
The blur's head came out and fear increased in me. While the infected were dangerous, the blur was smaller and faster. It would be hell to make sure it didn't kill me or Plague while also focusing on the infected.
31: Last Chance 3The screams were too loud to bare. I couldn't tell if they came from me or the infected chasing me. Every chance I got I shot back at them. I couldn't stop moving and focus solely on them or else I'd never arrive at my destination. The blur made its final battle cry as I shot it down.
I wanted to shout in joy and celebrate killing the abomination that had been chasing me for what seemed like eternity. But was probably only a few minutes. Minutes that would make it hard for me to sleep tonight. If I lived long enough to fall asleep. Or if I could find a bed that would allow me to become calm enough to dream.
"Plague!" I shouted and shot an infected that appeared from nowhere. It probably had appeared from somewhere, they weren't supernatural after all, but my fear was blinding me. Not good.
"Plague!" I shouted again and had to dodge an infected. My movements appeared slower to me but I still had to fight. I couldn't lie down and die. I still had to find Plague and get to the lab. I wouldn't fail this mission.
I continued to call Plague's name and look for the lab through the hoard of infected. Soon after the blur had been born we had been separated. I couldn't recall the exact reasons we were separated but knew that the infected had begun to attack in an increased fervor shortly before.
The lab seemed to be in sight and then I tripped. Three of the infected took those precious few seconds to attack me. I punched one, hit another, and shot the third. I wasn't going to die without Plague. Not even God himself could go against that one demand.
Standing up I felt my purpose renewed. I was going to get to the lab that was now very close to me and then find Plague so we could get out of Winchester. In the movies my lover showed me, there had always been a downpour to signify a dramatic scene or moment. But the weather here had become bright as the sun came out.
I ran towards the lab and shot at the infected. Now there was no fear in me as my goal was in sight. Another blur came at me and I barely shot it in time. I touched the lab's outer wall and felt happiness. Our Superiors were wrong to doubt Plague and myself. Of course we could get this job done.
We hadn't been involved in the majority of the fighting, but I was far from untrained. I shouted random sounds and shot at the approaching infected. Waiting was all I had to do now. Surely Plague would've figured out where the lab was and would be arriving shortly. There would only be a little more time until he arrived and then we could get out of this place.
What if he had gone inside? No. I knew he wouldn't go in unless I was with him. He was afraid I would get myself killed without him.
The temptation to go in was getting great. If I just got the scientists and their cure I could wait for Plague. He would be very proud of me.
Then I saw Plague's form coming towards me. But something seemed very off. The way he walked was like an infected. Maybe he was blending in. Yes, that was the logical conclusion. Plague was clever and I was surprised that tactic had never occurred to me.
In a few seconds I found my rationalizations torn apart. I couldn't deny what I saw. If I denied it I would be dead. But what was the point of living anymore if it was true?
Plague's mask was hanging off and there was a bit of green on his lips. Those lips I had kissed earlier with a good luck kiss. His face was contorted in an angry expression like Thomas Savan had had on his.
"You cheated on me with that whore!" Plague shouted and came at me.
My gun quickly pointed at his head and my mouth was unable to speak. If I shot him then I would live. But was living without Plague worth saving my life?
Plague didn't slow down and my gun kept its aim for a headshot.
32: Last Chance 4Seconds dragged by as I decided what to do. Plague had been my guide, protector, and lover since the beginning. Not the exact beginning, but very close to it. I had grown with him in ways that mere time could not measure.
Before today he had been a human that would always be by my side. Even when in my lust, and stupidity, I had slept with someone else. A lovely woman who had made me feel something that I could never feel with a man. Not even Plague.
He had forgiven me, but now the rage in his eyes showed that memory as the one that was fueling him on. As Plague was an infected, he had become driven mad by the memory. It was hard for me to think of the infected Plague as anything but the rational Plague that I was used to. I thought I could say the right words and he would abandon his madness.
But that wasn't true and I had to learn to accept that.
Plague continued to scream about Jillian and my slip of loyalty. The words he said rung true and my gun started to shake. I had to make my choice now.
Pulling the trigger only took a few seconds, but the damage would last much longer. Plague's corpse fell down and I tried to look for a sign that he was thankful to have been put out of his misery.
However, he was like the rest of the infected in that his humanity hadn't been returned to him.
As I thought about Plague's death and the fact that I killed him, my gun seemed to shoot at the other infected without me controlling it. I didn't care about dying now and wondered why I had decided to shoot him. He who had loved me and didn't have any control over his madness.
While I wasn't a soldier by choice, but by necessity, I hadn't fully learned how to control my emotions. I knew those that did the majority of the fighting could hold back any feelings until after they were safely inside a base. I hadn't yet learned that particular trick.
For now tears came down my cheeks and I didn't think of wiping them away. There would just be more after anyways.
After a few minutes I was able to recall the mission and why I found myself in Kentucky. If I didn't get the cure then Plague would have died in vain. I would complete this mission for him and after that...the future would happen tomorrow and so I'd just focus on the now.
The infected had backed away, at least for the moment, and I noticed something. Of course I had been distracted before and so hadn't noticed it.
Signs that the infected had entered the building were there. Maybe there was better protection inside and so these signs meant nothing. Whatever the case was, I raced inside to make sure.
I realized after I entered through the doorway that my hope was short lived. The infected had broken through the windows and so the door being closed wasn't odd. However, the building was trashed. Blood of infected and non-infected alike littered the floor and walls.
I kept running to make sure that the scientists hadn't been killed. Well, the fact was that I needed to make sure that the cure was intact. That sounded callous to myself, but Plague was dead and I didn't care who else died now.
I finally got to the lab and stared at the sight. A lone infected was feasting on one of the dead scientists and it looked at me. I stayed as still as I could and looked around for the cure. My eyes found a small vial. That must be it.
I raced and grabbed it a few seconds before the infected turned its eyes on me and attacked. Killing it was easy and I felt glad that the mission was over. Well, it would be over once I got to the car and left Winchester behind for good.
Then the sounds of more infected came as I turned towards the lab door. I started shooting at them and running out of the building so that I could get to the car.
33: EpilogueI got special attention that I felt I didn't deserve. I had given Earth a final chance at being saved and people overreacted. Couldn't they see that I had let a great man die. I had let my lover suffer a fate of insanity and then killed him. I didn't see, now that I was able to be in a calm environment, how killing him was a good or necessary deed.
I'm sorry, Plague. I'm so sorry.
The nurses in the hospital were kind to me and patched me up as best they could. They, of course, made sure that no Gralg was on my body and that I was not going to be a problem. One nurse tried to talk to me about sports but I didn't answer. He eventually gave up and left the room.
I couldn't talk to anyone. I didn't know how I could ever talk again. I could talk to a Superior, but I didn't think I could do small talk anymore.
I was on a small cot and dim sunlight came in through the window. It was a cloudy day that fit my mood. I was living with Plague dead and the Gralg outbreak didn't seem like it was ever going to be stopped. At least not by me.
It was my duty to fight Gralg, but I didn't have the strength to do so with Plague gone. There was no one to replace him and I didn't feel like trusting someone else with my emotions.
Hours passed and the only interaction I had was accepting food and some pills. No one else spoke to me after the nurse tried talking to me about sports. I don't think they had any great dealings with soldiers or else this was their way of working through the problem.
Finally someone I could barely remember seeing stepped through the door and I just nodded at him.
"My name is David Cafil, Clohn." He said and waited for my response.
He looked like a Specialist in the Army. After seeing that I decided I had to say something. I had to at least have an exchange of information and then I could go back to contemplating.
"Did Plague's final mission mean anything?" I asked as I didn't want to label the Winchester, Kentucky mission mine. I had to pay respect to my lover somehow.
"It gave us information about combating Gralg that we didn't have before." David said without answering my question. But it was an answer in a way.
"So it didn't mean anything." I said and turned away from David. "He died for nothing."
"It will be useful in the long term."
"But will it stop Gralg? Will it be the key that we need?"
David's silence was enough.
"I need to rest." I said without looking at him.
When he exited the room and shut the door I looked over to where he had been standing.
The last things I remembered before falling asleep were a woman yelling about the end of the world and a young woman in white. She was the same one I had hallucinated in my cell in Nuscon, Arizona.
She smiled at me and touched the palm of my hand. My hand turned brown and green before returning to its natural color.
I fell asleep more peacefully than I thought possible.
-THE END-
Author's Note: Thank you to all my readers who were with me from day one to the end. As well as those that joined along the way.
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