"Cerb, get your head back in the car." Mason said, flicking on his turn signal as the seven foot tall, 500-something figure turned to face him- well, one of the heads did, the other two remained outside; their long, pink tongues flapping in the wind. Large droplets of drool slinging backward, striking the car windshields behind them.

"Let them have their fun." the leftmost head, Bella, stated "We rather enjoy doing this."

Bella was always tried to be the logical one out of the three, though he personally thought that she was the most mischevious, more than anything else.

'Oh well,' he thought 'at least I managed to convince them to actually wear clothes today...'

It was true...most of the time, the triple-headed hellhound wore little to nothing around the house, despite walking on two legs...and possessing...er, female, parts.

He thanked his lucky stars that none of the heads were male, that would've made the whole thing even more awkward between them.

The other two soon reeled back into the car, their heads resting rather uncomfortably against the roof.

"Forgive us," the middle head, who stuck with 'Cerberus', said, her muzzle curling into a sheepish smile "we are excited at the prospect of joining you in your workplace."

"I'm work at a crummy gas station, it isn't the most exciting job in the world."

"Try guarding the gates of hell sometime," Bella chirped, smirking as they collectively stepped out of the car.

"It still baffles me to no end, that you can fit into my car." Mason said, locking the car as the two (or four, if you prefer), made their way down the sidewalk, and towards the building.

"I still do not understand why we must be here so early." Cerberus said, a fist raising to muffle her yawn. Her teeth revealed themselves, causing Mason to shiver just the tiniest bit.

"I have to, because my boss wants me to." he stated.

"Well, apparently it's too early for some people." Bella replied, smirking once more as she nodded over to the right-most head, her eyes closed, tongue lolling out the corner of her open jaws as she snored.

"Oh, let her sleep," Cerberus said, their left paw coming up to cuff Bella upside the head "she is the youngest, after all."

Bella grumbled as the same paw rubbed the back of her head, further confusing the man.

"Will I ever understand you three?" he asked, pulling the glass door open for the hellhound.

"Mayhaps one day, but not any time soon." Cerberus replied, smiling back at him as she entered the building.

"Just be thankful the government let you stay here..." he grumbled, following them.

"Hmmph, as if they had a choice," Bella complained "it would've been racist, not to mention extremely prejuidice."

"Said the guardian of Hell." Mason quipped sarcastically.

"Ah-ah, gates of Hell." Cerberus replied.

"Uh-huh," he deadpanned "well, I need you to uh...tone it down a little? Please?"

"Why should we?" Bella piped up, before Cerberus could answer.

"You might scare the customers?" he suggested "You could- I don't know, damn them to the seventh circle of Hell?"

"Ha! Shows what you know!" Bella howled in triumph "There are only six circles of Hell!"

"Good to see you're grasping modern English so well..." Mason replied sarcastically "is that all you got out of that sentence?"

True, it was difficult enough that they spoke only archaic English when he'd first met them- but now they had the entire English language to mangle at their leisure.

"Indeed I did." Bella stated, her nose turning towards the sky.

He got behind the counter, half-ready for the day, and put his head in his hands, wondering how his life got so wrong.

2: Chapter 2

"Sir Mason, we art bored." Mia, the youngest, stated, her muzzle resting on the top of his head "We hath nothing to entertain ourself with- might you possess the books of coloring?"

"Sorry kid, I don't," he replied "you could check in the back of the store- there's usually a few small toys back there."

Her ears swung up, and caught the attention of the other two. 

"Pray tell, what are these objects you speak of?" Mia asked, child-like curiosity filling her expressive blue eyes. 

Mason shrugged, pushing away the pencil and pad away that he'd been idly doodling on. 

"I don't know- cheap, plastic things...small balls, that sort of thing."

As was expected, the good old Speedy-Quick didn't have much in the way of variety. One of the reasons he absolutely hated working there was that absolutely nothing happened. Whatsoever. Not that he was complaining, less work for him, after all- besides, so few people actually
came in, that it made his job just that much easier. 

A 1/3rd of the hellhound then grinned, scampering off to the back of the store to see what sort of goodies might await her. Bella shot an annoyed glance backward as they went, glaring daggers at Mason. The man gulped, knowing full well he'd most likely become a target of the hound's wrath at some point down the road; it always happened, most often when he least expected it. The three of them were like elephants when it came to memory, and only on the rarest of occasions were they forgetful. They could hold a grudge, as he'd sorely discovered.

Mason shuddered as he recollected all the times he'd been the victim of the hellhound's rage. Mostly they were 'friendly' punches from Bella, which were the rough equivalent of getting hit by a cast-iron baseball at close range. The abuse of his arms aside, the four of them rarely made any physical contact with each other. Frankly, he expected it from Mia, she acted like she was about five, (and for all he knew, she might as well have been), and didn't know any better when it came to touching other people. You'd think the other two would've taught her about that, especially Cerberus; but y'know, guardian of Hell and everything... Also funny, Bella and Cerb had taken to modern English quite well, but Mia still had a ways to go in that respect- but it was a little cute they way she spoke 'modern' English. 

"Hey, fleshie!" Bella literally barked from across the room. 

"What?" he called right back, the sudden noise spooking him. 

"What in the name of all that is firey and gruesome is this?" 

She approached, and he saw that a small, rubber ball in her grasp. The small, blue object looked absolutely teeny in her claw. It was designed for a small child after all, and it had to be big enough so they wouldn't swallow it- but still...

"It's a ball, so what?" he asked, cocking a brow. 

"Is this meant to be funny?!" she shouted, the ball popping in her grasp. 

He gulped, then began to sweat, wondering what the she-demon could be so angry about. 

"Bella, that's quite enough." Cerberus stated calmly. 

"Wh-wha- you- you mean- you're okay with this?!?" she roared, her canines showing.

"Hell no, I'm quite cross." she stated, with the same tone "Now, Mr. Riggs, would you mind telling us what this is about?" 

The other arm came up, and removed the remnants of the ball from the other. Bella begrudgingly released it, and rolled her eyes, avoiding staring right at him. 

"...do you not know the seriousness of what this is?" Cerb asked, her tone neither judging nor challenging. 

"Um...it's a...ball?" he guessed, having no clue what was going on. 

"Precisely." she stated.

'I still don't know what's going on...or why they're so offended, for that matter...'

"Do you know how many demons and spirits have tried to get past us, with this simple object?" Cerb asked.

He shook his head nervously.

"Too many, and not a one getting past us."

"Wh-why?" he asked.

"Demons are stupid." was Bella's blunt response "They think we're nothing more than a mindless animal, doing what it's told by its master."

'Oh...well...uh; sonofabitch, this just got a whole lot more awkward...'

"Indeed," Cerberus agreed "succubi at least acknowledge we are a sentient being."

He blushed, unable to comment.

"Disgusting..." Bella stated.

"Bell, knock it off." Cerb replied, her tone border-line commanding. 

"Why should I?! Huh? This human-" she pointed to him "he- he just-"

"I know, and I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt."

"Yeah, Bell!" Mia cheered. 

'I don't think she even knows what that expression means...' he thought, watching the exchange awkwardly. 

"I uh- why don't we...just...drop it?" he suggested "I can...go and put all the...uh...things...in the back room or something- does that sound good?" 

"I believe that would solve our dilemma, thank you." Cerb said.

"Um...no problem..." he said, grabbing a paper bag from under the counter "I'll...I'll be right back..."

 

 

'Good god...they're going to kill me...' Mason groaned inwardly as he closed the door leading to the back room. 

He wasn't aware of the hellhound's pet peeves, he realized. Despite the few months of sharing a house together, provided by the government as an act of 'goodwill', he came to the realization that he actually knew next to nothing about her; the obvious notwithstanding. He thought about asking her about herself, and if he did it would certainly help to avoid any complications down the road. He had dodged a bullet he wasn't even aware was coming. What else would set her off? Other people could easily do so, especially if the referred to her as 'it'. 

'This...this is going to be a blast...I can just tell...' he thought sarcastically, exiting the small storage room after catching his breath. 

He spied the tall dog standing behind the counter, their arms crossed as one of her claws idly drummed on the countertop. 

'Note to self; entertain them while at work...' 

Siding up to the hellhound, he stood awkwardly, not quite knowing what to do with himself. Coughing into his fist, he took some initiative and tried to make conversation. 

"Everything good out here?" he asked. 

"As 'good' as things can be around this dump." Bella stated harshly. 

Mia gasped. 

"Manners!" she cried, shocked. 

Bella blew a raspberry at the younger. 

'Okay...let's try a different approach...' 

"Hey Cerb?" he asked hesitantly. 

"Yes?" she asked, a bit of tiredness creeping into her voice. 

"Why did the three of you want to come to work with me in the first place? I mean, I'll be the first to admit this is a pretty boring job."

"To be truthful, Mia was curious as to what you did for a living, and I myself was, as well; though in all honesty, my true motive was to make an attempt to bond with you."

'Bond?'

"Bond?" 

The middle head nodded.

"Yes, I assumed this is what humans did when they wanted to know more about the other."

The 34-year-old scratched at the back of his head, contemplating what the female had just told him. 

"Well, uh..."

'She's actually trying to connect, like I was planning to...'

"Did we offend thee?" Mia chirped innocently "I am sorry, we were not aware of thy customs-"

Her eyes began to mist- and his mind told him to shut them down as quickly as possible. 

"No! No!" he exclaimed, waving his hands back and forth "You didn't offend me or anything...but..."

"Spit it out." Bella grumbled.

"...usually when humans want to be friends, or know more about each other, in this case- they'd hang out or something..."

A beat of silence, and Cerberus finally spoke up. 

"Based on what I've read out of human mythology books, the gallows were banned from use quite a while ago."

Mason's eye twitched, and he rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a migraine coming on. 

"No...no...that's completely out of context..." he sighed "we could...go to the park? See a movie? Just play a board game together! It can be anything!"

"I...I do not think I understand..." Cerb said. 

"Um...how do I put this..."

How was he going to explain friendship to someone? He was sure he could, with a little time- but it wasn't everyday someone asked him about friendships and the like. 

"Well, when a group of people have known each other a long time...they know things about each other, that no-one else does- except if they happen to be in someone's circle of friends."

"We understand so far." Mia nodded. 

"Friends know what the other likes, what they don't like, how to talk to them, help them if they feel upset- that sort of thing."

"Are all humans like this?" 

"Ah, no," he said, letting a small chuckle escape "all humans are different, some more than others."

"You're saying not everyone's going to accept us, nothing we didn't know before." Bella chimed in. 

"Uh...yeah, basically...but...there are other people that will." 

There, that ought to-

"Like who?" Bella asked, her tone agitated.

'You'll never make any with that attitude...' he thought, himself too afraid to say it out loud. 

Instead he shrugged, and went around the counter, picking up an oily dishrag as he headed for the door. 

"You never know...someone might come along," he said "I'm going to check on the pumps, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Bella mumbled something, incoherent to his ears. 

"Holler if you need anything." he added, a bit roughly. 

Pushing open a glass door, he exited the air-conditioned room, and out into the summer heat.