Everything was perfect, the way I remember it. Maybe for others it was different. I miss the days when we would sit together, laughing, crying, proclaiming love to one another. I'll never forget the way all this joy ended, the sudden death of our love.

 

    I was young, a freshman in high school. He was older, a junior to be exact. We met at band camp and became best friends. I didn't know the way he felt about me, that he wished we were the same age, so he wouldn't have to leave me all alone when he graduated. Life was so easy then. Why can't it stay that way?

 

    "You're amazing, you know." He looked at me with those deep brown eyes, staring straight into my soul.

    "Yeah, I know." I smiled. As I turned away he placed his hand on my shoulder, spinning me back around to face him again. I was struggling for the right words to say. Luckily, I didn't have to say anything. He pulled me closer and our lips met...

    

The alarm buzzed on my phone, awakening me from the memories of so long ago. When I checked the time I realized that I had overslept. I jumped out of bed, hurriedly got dressed and ran out the door. The walk to the bus stop was five minutes. Looks like I"ll have to run. I have a car, but haven't dared touch it since...

    The bus ride was fifteen minutes, taking me right outside my therapist's door. I go once every week. It helps with the depression, the feeling that it was my fault. I know that it wasn't. After all, it was him who was driving, not me. But it was my idea to go to the movies.

    I walked up the three concrete steps and lifted the copper knocker. It was shaped like a lion.

    "Come in darling," My therapist said when she opened the door. "How is everything? Are you still doing okay?"

    I laughed. "Yes, Theresa. Everything's fine. I have to work tonight so I'll have to leave a few minutes early. You know, ever since the accident, the thrill of being a reporter just isn't there anymore. I mean, it's still fun and all, but all I can think of is him. I can't concentrate anymore. It's driving me crazy."

    "Yes, well, that's why I'm here." She said reassuringly as she gestured towards the rose printed couch strategically placed in front of the fireplace.

    "I think I should move back home, to North Carolina. I came to Maine running away from the memories, to make it easier, but..." I let the rest of the sentence trail off, not knowing exactly what to say.

    "But it made it harder. This happens a lot. Moving back will be worse, trust me. You can't handle the move again. You need to rest. Here lay down and think. I'll be back in a few minutes with some tea and this time I won't forget that you like it sweet." Theresa then left me without another word, her black hair bobbing wildly at her shoulders.

    I sank down on the couch and closed my eyes, letting myself fade away into another memory.

   

 We arrived at the restaurant and went in. The dim lights and fancy music made it seem surreal, like I was in a dream. Our table was reserved, so the waiter showed us the way. Wine was brought to us. Strawberry, he must have remembered it was my favorite. I peered at him over the rose centerpiece. He had worn his glasses, abandoning the contacts he normally used. He caught me staring at him.

    "Marry me."

 

    "Here you go dear. Just drink that." Theresa handed me the tea, steam rolling of the calm surface.

    "Thank you. Would you mind getting me some ice? Hot sweet tea doesn't go to well with me."

    "Oh, of course. See I knew I forgot something." She took my cup back and bristled off once again, returning a second later with cold tea this time.

    "I want you to hypnotize me. You know I can barely remember anything from that night. I just want to know it wasn't my fault. I don't understand how his life is gone, and I didn't even have a single scratch on me. It's incredible."

    She stared at me, gaze empty, completely baffled. "I haven't done that in years. But I guess it's always worth a try."

    After I finished the tea, I laid down and closed my eyes. The sound of Theresa's voice echoed in my ears. 3...2...1...

   

 We got in the car.

    "I love the part where he was trying to tell her he loved her, but she kept ignoring him so he just kissed her. It was so cute." I said as we pulled out of the theater parking lot.

    "Yeah. That was by far the best movie I've ever seen." We raced down the highway, going just below the speed limit. silence enveloped us for a few moments, both too tired to speak. We both had worked all day. The flash of headlights illuminated our faces.

    "OH MY GOD! LOOK OUT!" I screamed as he slammed on the brakes, but not fast enough to avoid hitting the drunk driver. The man didn't even stop.

    Our car slid, rolling on its side, then flipping on the back. We were upside down, panicking. An eighteen wheeler didn't see the commotion and didn't have time to stop. The last think I saw were the headlights inching closer and closer...

 

   I opened my eyes, surround by white. Everything was blurry, but I could still make out a figure sitting over my bed. Where was I? The hospital? I finally focused on the figure. It was him. Jeremy. He was alive, smiling, and perfect.

    "Beth."

 

2: Chapter Two

“Oh my God, Jeremy, I love you so much, I thought I would never see you again!” I expelled in one, deep breath while struggling to sit up in my hospital bed and tightly wrapping ,y arms around Jeremy’s neck.

    “I love you, too, Beth. What do you mean you thought you would never see me again? You were unconscious, in a coma.” Jeremy said, returning the hug wholeheartedly.

    “I...I don’t know. I guess it was a dream or something. But it felt so...Real. It’s hard to explain. In the car accident it was you, not me. You died. I went through every day afterward for at least six months. Dreams aren’t like that.” While explaining this, I had slowly begun to lie back down, not even daring to let go of his hand which I had grabbed.

    “Maybe that really happened. Maybe God decided to give us a second chance together.” Jeremy stared hopefully into my eyes. He always had a way of not letting people down. I knew I could always trust him, even when also knew I couldn’t. There was just something about him…

    “I don’t know. But oh, well. Is there any food around here? I’m absolutely starving.” I rubbed my aching stomach, which i honestly barely noticed next to the aching everywhere else.

    “Yeah I’ll go get you some. No wonder you’re hungry, you haven’t eaten in four days. I’ll be back soon.” He leaned over and planted a single kiss on my forehead. Boy, did I miss that.

    “Thanks, honey. I love you!” I yelled (well, yelled as loud as my cracked, dry voice would go) as he walked out of the hospital room, once again leaving me alone.

I couldn’t help but wonder what I would have eventually done if my “dream” had been real. The depression was getting so intense that I couldn’t sleep at night, couldn’t wake up in the mornings, couldn’t even hardly stomach an entire meal. I had lost so much weight and was nothing but bones. I looked down at my torso in amazement. The fifteen pounds that I hadn’t been able to afford to lose before were suddenly back. Gosh, did this feel weird.

What would happen if I fell asleep again? Would I go back to my “dream” life? Or would I just sleep a normal sleep? I lost myself in these thoughts, slowly being overcome by my exhaustion and slipped into the slumber I had just been questioning.