One

 I couldn’t sleep. The howling wind reminded me of a Capitol mutation from a previous Hunger Games, and though it was a bitterly cold night, I was hot and sweaty. I slipped out of bed to open a window, and I let the rush of air bite my face and the wind claw at my hair.

 It wasn’t my first reaping, but this year was guaranteed to be the worst yet. The previous year, my brother, Jonah, was sent to the arena like a lamb to the slaughter. He didn’t make it out of the bloodbath at the Cornocopia. He was just thirteen, having celebrated his birthday several weeks before the reaping. The odds were certainly not in his favour. They never are for tributes of District 10.

 I realised as I snapped out of the memory of my brother’s death, that I had dug my fingernails deep into the palm of my hand and blood was staining my fingertips. I rushed to the bathroom and drenched my hands in water, washing away the blood and memories. With a sigh, I decided to face the fact that sleep had evaded me and would not return. Judging by the inky blue blanket of sky, it was nearing morning anyway, and so I ran myself a bath.

 It still wasn’t completely light outside as I dressed. My reaping clothes were a little ill-fitted, with me being so small, but I hoped I looked presentable. After all, if you are chosen to participate in the Games, you are being scrutinized from the moment your name is read out. I wore a navy blue dress that was once my mother’s. She has no need for it anymore, as she barely moves from her armchair. I had flat shoes made of velvet, a gift from the mayor, in the same colour, and they had beautiful peacock’s feathers on them to cover my toes. They hurt my cracked and blistered feet, but I didn’t care. I had borrowed some of my mother’s rouge and a few drops of her perfume. It was her favourite once, but she hasn’t worn perfume in over a year. Not since Jonah died. Normally, on reaping day, she does my hair, but of course, this was out of the question, and so my hair sat neatly on my shoulders like a dull curtain, straight and predictable as always. At least my green eyes made me look powerful, their green orbs staring back at me in the mirror. They used to sparkle once, my eyes. Back when I had my brother, and we fought life together, hand in hand. Back when my mother seemed wise and was the glue that held our family together. Before she slipped through my fingers and took refuge in a place inside herself that only she knew. Back when my father’s laugh vibrated through the house and he whistled on his way to work. But as I looked in the mirror that morning, I saw a new person. My eyes burned with hatred for the Capitol, and how they turned my life upside down. They dared someone to challenge me. Bring it on, I thought.

 I crept downstairs quietly. I knew where my parents would be before I even saw them. They would be in the front room beside the fire, my mother lifeless in her armchair, and my father smoking a cigarette. My father made more money than most families, as he worked as an assistant to the Mayor, and was able to afford the luxury of a cigarette on reaping day each year. For the occasion, he also bought a loaf of the bakery’s finest bread and a small ration of butter and jam. He never ate it himself, and since my brother’s death in the arena, my mother ate next to nothing. So that year, for the first time, it was all for me. Sure, it was a treat, but it didn’t feel that way. I sat alone at the table to eat my bread, imagining Jonah sat opposite me, chattering and eating with his mouth open. Something that had always annoyed me about him, but that I missed then. I took a few moments to observe my parents. My mother was once a beautiful woman, but she seemed to have aged centuries over the past year. Her brown curls which I had once envied hung limp like rats tails, and her face was creased in the concentration of holding herself together. How must it feel I wondered to be alive, but not living? To me, my mother was dead, as I watched her stare ahead with empty eyes, deprived of the little happiness she once had.

 And still my father gazed at her. I think he may have been wondering what had become of his life. He used to tell me that the Gods were keeping us safe, that somewhere along the line, we had done something good to deserve our pleasant lives in the days of darkness. This belief died along with my brother and my mother’s soul.

 I suddenly couldn’t stand the silence anymore. I slammed my fist onto the table in anger.

 “Somebody speak! You’re both driving me insane! I miss him as much as you do, but you wouldn’t know that, because you haven’t spoken to me in over a year!” I screamed. Still neither of them muttered a word. I thrust a piece of bread under my mother’s nose, hoping for a reaction.

 “Don’t you remember? It’s reaping day! If I went into the Games today, would you give a damn?” The silence continued. I threw the bread on the floor and stormed out the house without saying goodbye.

 I didn’t know where to run, but my feet seemed to. I ran along the fence that keeps the District 10 citizens trapped and under control. Over the sound of my heart, I could hear the sounds of the animals reared for meat by most other families in the District. I was glad of the noise, after the mournful silence of the house. I realised where I was going just before I arrived. To the weak point in the fence…

 

 I was thirteen years old. I stood at the edge of the other teenagers that huddled together by the fence. Right in the centre of the group stood the most popular boy in the year, Eddie Grey. He was a tall, muscular boy with handsome features and a sharp tongue. We didn’t get along well, probably because we were too alike, so I had been surprised when he invited me to meet him and his friends by the fence that night. He grinned around the sea of faces.

 “So. I thought it would be fun if we crawled under the fence. See what is on the other side,” he said with a gleam in his eye. The others chatted excitedly amongst themselves. I said nothing. Then Eddie caught my eye.

 “Trouble is…I don’t know whether it is safe. We need someone to test it out.” He winked at me, and I realised the reason he has asked me along. I gave him my best scowl.

 “It was your idea. Why don’t you test it?” I growled. He smiled in an irritating way, and ran a hand through his perfect hair.

 “You wouldn’t want me getting stuck there, would you, Raven?” He walked over to me and gave me a shove in the right direction. I stumbled a few feet, and then planted my feet firmly on the ground, refusing to move. The others sniggered.

 “Scared?” Eddie breathed in my ear. I smiled slightly. I wasn’t going to let the little creep win. I could do this.

 “You wish, Grey. You wish. Get out of my way.”

 The sea of kids parted and I crouched to examine what I was dealing with. The barbed wire was torn apart at the weak point. I suspected an animal did it and the Peacekeepers never bothered to fix it. I knew the fence wasn’t live, as there was no buzz of electricity filling the air. The hole wasn’t very big, but I figured someone as small as me could slip through it if they were careful. Cautiously, I knelt and crawled forwards, before carefully sliding my head under the fence. A gasp of approval came from the crowd when they realised I was actually going under. But the thrill of my small victory didn’t last.

 “Peacekeepers!” a girl cried. Before I could take in what she had said, everyone was scattering. Panic ate at my brain, and I struggled to reverse out of the hole in the fence, but my hair snagged some wire.  I was trapped. I felt strong hands grip my shoulders and yank me backwards. I yelped as the hair caught on the fence was ripped from my scalp. I looked up to see a menacing smile of a Peacekeeper greeting me.

 I was taken to the Mayor so that he could decide what to do with me, and I kicked and screamed as the Peacekeepers dragged me to his office. Mayor Golding was known for being a fair man, but I certainly didn’t want to be punished.

 I entered his office and stood before his desk. My father was there, working, and was, as you can imagine, not happy. Mayor Golding’s son, Logan, was also there, and he smirked at me. I despised him. When we were young, we were good friends, but I hated the changes in him. His social status created a wedge in the friendship we once had, and I had grown to loathe his patronizing ways and superior attitude. I made sure he knew it, too, glaring steadily at him until he looked away in unease.

 The Peacekeepers released me and I made a show of rubbing my arms. They were sore from the Peacekeeper’s tight grip. I scowled at the Goldings, and I expected this to anger the Mayor, but he just chuckled.

  “She is very like you, Rowan,” he commented “Full of spirit.” Logan snorted and my father’s lips tightened.

 “That’s one way to describe her,” he spat, glaring at me.

 “Look, Raven,” Mayor Golding said “We know there were others with you, and that they challenged you to go under the fence. If you give us the names of the others, we will withdraw your punishment. If not…a public whipping is in store.”

 I closed my eyes “How many lashes?” I asked, hoping that my voice didn’t tremble.

 “I think five is satisfactory. I’m assuming, then, that you are taking the punishment?”

 I thought for a moment. Wouldn’t it be better to see Eddie and his cronies have the skin whipped from their backs? It was their fault. But eventually, I nodded. I was going to be the better person…

 

 Making sure the fence wasn’t live, I gingerly touched the broken wiring. It was sharp to the touch, and I remembered the pain as my hair was tangled to it. What was odd, though, was the events of the whipping day…

 

 The next morning, I sat alone in the Justice Building, waiting for my whipping. I had promised myself I wouldn’t scream, but I was fighting hard to stop my tears, and it hadn’t even started yet. There were a few sharp raps on the door and someone entered. I expected it to be a Peacekeeper, but it was Logan. I wasn’t sure which was worse. He wore his usual smirk on his face and I wished that I could slap it off. Other than that, though, I have to admit he was a good looking young man. His blonde hair was combed neatly, and his eyes were the colour of the sky. He was dressed in a smart black suit for the occasion, but his collar was open and his tie slung over his broad shoulder. I stood up and bowed mockingly to him.

 “What do I owe this pleasure, Logan?”

 “Actually,” he said, raising an eyebrow “I was coming to see if you were alright.”

 I glared steadily at him “I’m fantastic! I’m just sat here, waiting for a lovely Peacekeeper to collect me, and then he is going to shred my back to pieces with a whip!” I snarled, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Logan shrugged.

 “Sucks to be you. Of course, you could have told my father about Eddie and his friends…”

 My head snapped up “What?”

 “You heard me.”

 I shook my head “You don’t understand.”

 “No, of course not. The stupid little rich boy doesn’t understand that snitching is the worst thing you can possibly do.”

 I said nothing. Logan sighed, and his face softened.

  “So. Tell me. What is your favourite sweet?”

 “What?”

 “You heard me. Just answer and then I’ll leave.”

 I didn’t have much to think about. The only time I had ever had sweets was when my father bought me a bag of sour citrus sweets for my tenth birthday. They were, however, without a doubt the best thing I had ever eaten.

 “Sherbet lemons,” I said without hesitation. Then Logan, turned and left with a smile on his face. I didn’t have time to question his odd behaviour, as several moments later, the Peacekeepers arrived and took me out into the square. I was made to kneel on a platform, and my hands were tied to a wooden pole. A small crowd of people had gathered to witness my whipping, and I scanned them for a familiar face. Right near the front stood Eddie, looking so guilty it was funny. I threw him a quick wink, because in a way, he was suffering more than I was. He managed to dredge up a smile, before his eyes returned to the ground. Near to him, Logan stood also. He caught my eye as the Head Peacekeeper began to announce my crime and my punishment. Logan looked younger somehow, possibly because for once, his face carried no trace of a smirk. He mouthed something to me, and I watched closely to see what he was saying. His words were “Cheer up, sherbet lemons.” He tapped his chin and I raised my head high like he told me to. And then the whip smashed into my back and I couldn’t contain my cries.

 After the third stroke on my back, I passed out. When I awoke, it was over, yet I felt as though I was on fire. My back was screaming in pain, and my mother was frantically dabbing damp cloths on it to quench the inferno.

 “You foolish girl,” she muttered, “The Mayor’s son dropped by several minutes ago. You just missed him. He left you a gift.”

 Mother thrust something into my hand. It was a small pink and white striped paper bag, and I knew what was in it straight away.

 Sherbet Lemons.

 

2: Two
Two

I stared at the hole in the fence. I could escape I thought I have nothing here. I could just leave…

 I made my decision. I crouched in the grass, feeling a sense of de ja vu. My head went under the fence. Then my shoulders. Torso. Legs. Feet…I had made it. I was through. I stared at the stretch of forest ahead of me and considered my situation. I had nothing with me. I would have to get everything from beyond the District. Food. Water. Weapons. I suddenly wondered if I was doing the right thing.

 “Going somewhere?”

 My head whipped around. It was Logan Golding. His fingers were laced through the fence wire and he was grinning. His reaping clothes were simple, just black trousers and a white shirt. He had even tried to look scruffy, undoing several of his top buttons, his shirt hanging loose from his trousers and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows casually. His usually neat hair was ruffled, and it somehow suited him. I understood his need to look under groomed. If he was chosen for the Games, he didn’t want to come across as the wealthy kid. It would definitely make him a prime target.

 He had changed a lot since the day of my whipping. He was definitely a young man now, not a boy, and he had stubble on his jaw. He came across as less arrogant, but I wasn’t fooled. Everyone knew he was a flirt and a heartbreaker.

 In the four years since the whipping, we had hardly spoken. To be honest, I had avoided him. He had, for a short while, tried to strike a friendship with me, but my cold attitude had eventually driven him away. From then on, I only really saw him at important dinners that I attended with my father at the Golding household, and even then he always had some girl or another hanging on his arm.

 It suited me just fine.

 “May I join you?” he asked, with what I think was meant to be a seductive smile.

 “Do I look like I want company?”

 “If it’s mine, yes.”

 I couldn’t help smiling at his sheer arrogance. I turned away from him and began to walk towards the trees ahead.

 “Suit yourself,” I called before breaking into a jog. I heard Logan grunt as he struggled under the fence and the pounding of his feet as he caught up with me.

 “Wait up then!” he said breathlessly, “I’m not as fast as you are!”

 I stopped and gave him a small smile “You don’t get enough exercise. Now leave me alone. You should go back.”

 “So should you.”

 “I should. But I’m not going to. Ever.”

 “What?”

 “You heard me,” I said. I thought fondly of the day of the whipping when Logan had said the same to me. He smiled, remembering too, but I knew what was coming next. A pep talk.

 “Sit with me a minute. Before you ‘leave.’”

 I scowled, but sat against a tree trunk, where Logan joined me several seconds later.

 “What makes you want to leave here?”

 I shrugged “What makes you want to stay?”

 “My family. Friends. The food…”

 “Girlfriend?”

 “No,” he said with a frown.

 “Well, anyway. My family...they haven’t spoken to me in over a year. Since…well, they haven’t. Why would I stay for them? I have no friends, so scrap that. And the only decent food here is the stuff that I can’t afford.”

 Logan grinned and fished in his trouser pocket “What, you mean this sort of stuff?” In his palm was a handful of Sherbet Lemons. He popped one in his mouth and then offered me one. I hesitated.

 “They don’t bite,” Logan teased as I took one “What did you do with the last ones I gave you? Share them?”

 “As if,” I laughed. It was true. I had savoured them for almost a whole year, eating one every month or so, and never sharing. I found myself wishing I had given one to Jonah while I had the chance.

 “Do you miss your brother?” Logan asked me, as though he had read my thoughts. I nodded.

 “Of course I do. Everything was okay when he was alive. Without him…I have nothing. That’s why I’m leaving. I can start afresh, somehow, in another District where no one knows me or my past.”

 “It sounds to me like you have a death wish. Leaving here alone, with no food. You’re wearing a dress! How do you expect to keep warm? And don’t you know by now? You’ll be hunted down, hunted, like an animal-”

 “Stop it.”

 “Don’t you want to grow up? Get married, have kids? The Capitol will kill those dreams, just like your brother, you’ll be dead before-”

 “I said stop it!” I screamed “Just stop it, okay? Don’t you think I’m scared enough as it is? I just can’t stay. Any dreams of mine…they can’t take place here. They just can’t.”

 We sat in silence for a moment, and I was bordering on tears “And you know what? Today is the best day to go. The security is weak at the fence. No one will have seen me leave. I might have a chance if I leave today.”

 “You always were a fan of running away, Raven,” he said quietly “When you were younger…when we were friends you would always come running to me. Don’t you remember?”

 “I can’t say I do.”

 “There was this one time, when you were about six, I really thought you might leave. You’ve always been so strong-willed…you had a backpack on. You were ready to go. And you asked me to go with you.”

 “Really? We would have drove each other crazy on the run together.”

 “I know. Which is why I refused to go with you.”

 “That’s the only reason? How about the fact that it’s really dangerous?” I chuckled.

 “Yeah, that too, I guess,” Logan smiled “But that didn’t seem to faze you. You’ve always been a lot braver than me.”

 “So tell me. Why didn’t I go?”

 Logan smiled “I told you not to.”

 “That’s it? That’s the only reason?”

 “It seems so. You were pretty determined to get out of here. But I remember putting my hands on your shoulders, and telling you not to go. You looked up at me with big sad eyes, tears falling, snot dribbling-”

 “There was no snot-”

 “And then you said you wouldn’t go. And guess what you said?”

 “What?” I asked tiredly.

 “You said that you loved me.”

 “You just made that up.”

 “Did not.”

 “Whatever. That’s hardly going to stop me now, is it?”

 Logan shook his head sadly “Remind me how old you are. Sixteen?”

 “Seventeen.”

 “Seventeen. I’m eighteen. This is my last reaping, next year is yours. We’re not going to be chosen for the Hunger Games. The odds are in our favour. After that? We have our whole lives ahead of us. That is something the Capitol can’t take away from us. Just stay, Raven. I promise you won’t be alone. We’re friends, aren’t we? I want to be, if not. You have me. Will you stay?” After a short pause he whispered “I can’t stand the thought of you in the forest alone.”

 I sighed. I refused to look at Logan, but I knew he was watching me. “Alright. I’ll stay. But I just want to be alone for a while, okay?”

 Logan raised an eyebrow “How do I know this won’t be the last time I see you?”

 “I’m going nowhere. After all, as you reminded me, I’m wearing a dress.”

 Logan smiled, and I did my best to resist smiling back. I still didn’t trust him. Not properly. He stood and brushed his pants off.

 “Alright. See you at the reaping?”

 “Sure.”

 Before I could stop him, he quickly bent down and kissed my forehead. I blinked in shock and he winked at me. He turned to leave, but I smartly stuck out my foot and he tripped head first and landed on his nose. I smirked as he scrambled to his feet, a dark blush spreading over his face.

 “Not so cocky now, are you?” I said, winking back. He rolled his eyes, but I knew he wasn’t angry. He turned again and began to walk.

 “Wait! Logan!” I shouted. He swivelled to face me, now standing several metres away. “Why do you carry Sherbet Lemons with you all the time?”

 His face split into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen “Isn’t it obvious? They remind me of you.” With that, he ran off and I didn’t have the courage to shout back to him.

3: Three
Three

 It was nearing eleven o’clock when I reached the town square, and it was filling fast. The mood was tense and hardly anyone spoke. While the other seventeen year old girls huddled close together, I stood alone and tried to distract myself from what was coming. I thought of what Logan had said to me as he returned to District 10. Why would he want to be reminded of me? We were barely even friends…

 My head turned to the platform where the tributes of the 31st Hunger Games were to be announced. The same place where I was whipped four years before. Not a place of good memories. And there stood the huge glass balls, containing the slips of paper that determine the tributes every year. There were seven slips of paper with my name in there. I had considered taking tesserae, but my father would not allow it. You see, although my father made a reasonable amount of money in his job, my mother stopped working as a seamstress straight after my brother’s death. Money was tighter after that, especially as prices of everything rocketed after shock floods and famine in District 9, 10 and 11. I casually brought up the idea one night, and my father screamed at me. I never mentioned it again.

 At precisely eleven, the chairs on the stage began to fill. On one sat Mayor Golding. Beside him, District 10’s escort, Eli Thimbletooth, sat grooming himself in a pocket mirror. His head was like a field, with his grass green hair and flowery accessories. His eyelashes and eyebrows were studded with red jewels, and he was applying glittery gold lipstick to his pouted lips. Mayor Golding looked at him in clear disapproval, and I saw the same look mirrored on Logan’s face across the square. It made me smile.

 The other two chairs were occupied by Drew Harper and Valeria Grey. They were past victors, and would serve as mentors to the tributes of District 10. Valeria must have been in her early forties or late thirties, yet she was a beautiful, strong woman with a welcoming smile. Everything a victor should be. Drew, on the other hand, was crowned victor at the age of twelve the year Jonah was born. I will never forget the curly haired boy’s face as he smashed the skull of a monstrous girl from District 4. Drew was known for being deeply disturbed, and though normally, handsome victors like himself were loved in the Capitol, he was not. He slouched in his chair and closed his eyes and I watched him go through hell, as he did every year at the reaping.

 Mayor Golding stood, cleared his throat and rambled on for ten minutes about why the Hunger Games were necessary, the Dark Days and how President Snow has the power to crush our puny District any time he pleases. That was the gist of it anyway.

 Then Eli stepped up to the podium, clapping his hands in utter glee, unable to contain his excitement. I bet he couldn’t wait for the blood to spill.

 “Ladies and Gentlemen,” he sighed, “Here we are again. What a beautiful day for a reaping!” He waggled his finger at the crowd, showing off the talons that replaced his nails, no doubt the height of fashion in the Capitol. “And remember! May the odds, be ever in your favour. Let us start with the lovely ladies!”

 His hand dived into the first reaping ball and, with great difficulty, he opened the slip of paper. He put a hand to his mouth as though surprised, even though everyone was a stranger to him.

 “My, my, what have we here? Would Miss Raven Verona please step on to the stage!”

 I didn’t hesitate. There was no time to register that it was me, I had been chosen, I was going into an arena to fight to the death. I needed to look confident, cocky even. I held my head high, like the day of the whipping, and strode up to the stage while the whole District stared at me in amazement at my calm attitude. But inside me was like an inferno.

 I should have left this morning was my first thought. Then I spotted Logan and felt nothing else other than anger at him. It was his fault. He had made me come back. I felt like screaming, or crying, or both, but I focused on keeping my face emotionless. It wasn’t my fault. It was his. He made me stay. I could be halfway to District 11, or 9 by now! I screamed in my mind. I stood next to Eli, who swung and arm around me. I could feel his ‘talons’ digging into my arm.

 “Our girl tribute for District 10! Do we have any volunteers?”

 There was no sound from the crowd, as expected.

 “Then please put your hands together for Raven!”

 Unenthusiastic clapping followed. In the distance, I could hear a woman screaming and crying. Mother…

 Eli tottered over to the male reaping ball, rubbing his hands together in excitement. I heard him whispering to himself “Who will it be, who will it be…”

 I located Logan in the crowd again and fixated my glare on him. He stared back, his eyes pleading, begging for forgiveness. I knew what he was feeling, but what was the use? I almost didn’t hear the name of the male tribute.

 “Logan Golding!”

 No…

4: Four
Four

Logan…

 I pinpointed him again in the crowd. He was shaking. His lips tightened and he pushed another boy out of the way to get to the stage.

 “Logan!” his father shouted. He stood, and rushed forward to hug his son as he scaled the stairs to the stage. Logan shook him off, a single tear trickling down his cheek.

 “Father, let go. Now.”

 After a short wrestle with his son, the Mayor obeyed, retreating to his seat, where Valeria put an arm around him and said something. Comforting him, I suppose. I could hear sobs wracking his body, his head in his hands. I understood how he felt. I felt the same. Logan stood on the other side of Eli, and drew himself to his full height, but he trembled in his place. I couldn’t bring myself to hate him any longer. We were in the same boat.

 “Ahh, lovely!” Eli cried “The Mayor’s son. What a turn of events! Aren’t we privileged! Do we have any volunteers?”

 The silence was deafening.

 “Well then. Here we have it. The tributes of District 10! Shake hands!”

 Logan reached for my hand and gripped it firmly, but as I looked him in the eye, he gave my hand a comforting squeeze, and brushed his thumb softly along my wrist. I managed a small smile before we were taken to the Justice Building.

 A Peacekeeper led me to a room where I made myself comfortable. It was to be that room where I said goodbye to my loved ones, though I wasn’t sure anyone would turn up. The room was similar to Mayor Golding’s living room, with two purple loveseats and a soft cream carpet. I sat on the floor, my back leaning against the loveseat, and I ran my fingers through the carpet to calm myself down.

 Maybe ten minutes later, my parents arrived. I couldn’t look either of them in the eye. Of course, we had done the same the previous year with Jonah, and he had never come back.

 I stood slowly and embraced them both. My mother felt frail in my arms, as though she might snap at any moment, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had hugged either of them.  I pulled away and put my hands on my father’s shoulders.

 “I’m keeping this short to make it easier. Look after mother. Grieve with the Mayor, and don’t blame him if Logan wins. I’ll be thinking of you.”

 “I’m sorry. For everything,” my father said.

 “I know. Me too. I’ll be okay. I’m going to come home to you.”

 I backed away and turned my back so I didn’t have to look at them. I didn’t want to see the pain on their faces. “You should leave now,” I told them. I heard my mother break down and begin to cry. The most emotion she had shown in a whole year. I couldn’t, wouldn’t look at her. A few moments later and they were out the room, and her wails became distant. I would never see them again, I realised.

 Minutes passed, and I thought my goodbyes were over. I concentrated on my breathing and not crying. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone else, so I was surprised when the door opened again and Eddie Grey walked in…

 I was sixteen years old. Jonah had already passed away, and I felt like the loneliest person on earth. Just to get out the house one Saturday, I went around town offering to run errands. I approached the baker and he asked me to deliver a cake to the Grey family, who had not been to collect their purchase. As a thank you, he gave me a small iced bun. It was burned around the edges and a little stale, but I didn’t care. Having eaten my bun, I arrived at the Grey’s house in high spirits. It was a large house in the Victor’s Village, as Eddie’s auntie is Valeria Grey. I knocked at the door and Eleanor Grey, Eddie’s mother, answered.

 “May I help you?” she asked.

 “Sorry to bother you. I’m Raven Verona, the baker asked me to deliver this cake.”

 “Oh yes!” she cried “I completely forgot! You see, our Edward is having a family meal tonight. It’s his birthday.”

 “Oh. Please wish him a happy birthday from me…” I said turning to leave.

 “You can do it yourself, come on in.”

 “Oh…I really shouldn’t, I have to-”

 “Nonsense! Whatever it is, it can wait. Come in, come in…” Eleanor ushered, and I had no choice but to follow her into the house. She beckoned me and I followed her into the kitchen. Sat at the table, reading a book on Panem History was Eddie. His brown hair was ruffled, and I could see the freckles on his nose. He looked…good. Looks aren’t everything I thought to myself, giving myself a mental slap. I hadn’t forgotten how he left me at the fence to face the consequences of his actions.

 He was, no doubt, surprised to see me. His eyebrows arched high on his forehead, and he looked as though he couldn’t believe his eyes.

 “Happy Birthday,” I muttered. Eddie gawped at me, his mouth open.

 “Well, say hello, Edward,” Eleanor said in her posh, fruity voice. Then she lowered her voice to a loud whisper “This is the girl you always talk about, isn’t it? The one you like…”

 “Mother…”

 “She is exactly as you described her. Such a pretty girl. Isn’t she the one who got whipped a few years-”

 “Mother!” Eddie said sharply. Eleanor looked at me as though she had forgotten my presence.

 “Make yourself at home, Raven. Edward will make you some tea, won’t you?”

 “Yes mother,” Eddie grumbled. Eleanor gave me a little wave and then disappeared upstairs. Eddie, meanwhile, was making a huge show of making the tea, running the water as fast as possible into the little tin kettle and clanging teacups unnecessarily. I sat down on the edge of a chair nervously and peered at Eddie’s book.

 “So…you’re interested in history?” I asked him. Eddie almost dropped the kettle in surprise and scalded himself on some hot water. He gasped and ran his burning hand under the cold water.

 “Are you okay?” I said.

 “Uhh…yes. And…uhh…yes. I do like history. I…I would love to study it further. Do some research of my own.” He paused for a moment. “That’s why…that night, at the fence. I planned to run away. Go to other districts to try and find out more. Maybe get to 13.”

 I was puzzled “Why 13? It’s been destroyed.”

 “Exactly. I would have some peace to explore it, with no one there. No one knows exactly what happened in 13. I could find out, do some investigation, you know?”

 I smiled at him. He was so different when he was alone. It seemed he’d matured a lot since we last spoke, and I liked him. And now that he was beginning to relax he was opening up to me, about things I don’t think he had ever spoken of before. He beamed back, and handed me a cup of tea. He ran a hand through his hair as he sat down.

 “So…what are you interested in?”

 I thought for a moment, sipping the hot sweet tea “I like to play piano. The Mayor teaches me. The first song he taught me was to play at my brother’s memorial. He often lets me play his piano while my father is in meetings.”

 “Would you…play for me? My mother has a piano.”

 I was surprised. And even more surprised at myself when I agreed. Eddie led me through a couple of rooms, and I couldn’t help admiring the beauty of the house. We reached a sort of living room which held the piano. It was slightly battered, but beautiful none the less. It was made of a shiny brown wood, sort of a chestnut colour, and there was a stool with a velvet cover. I sat down, stretched my fingers and began to play.

 

The tide has come into the bay

Today is a brand new day

The sun will rise, as will it fall

And from the heavens you shall call

 

Above the stars, above the sky,

The angels can hear your cry,

Go into their loving, warm embrace,

I’ll meet you at the special place

 

We shall meet again,

After the storm, after the rain,

One day, our souls will mend,

For this is what God intends

 

Above the stars, above the sky,

The angels can hear your cry,

Go into their loving, warm embrace,

I’ll meet you at our special place

 

 I didn’t realise I was crying until I finished the song. I wiped away the tears quickly.

 “That’s the song I played at my brother’s memorial,” I told Eddie. “It was the first song I ever learned.”

 Eddie put an arm around me and I cried for Jonah, for anyone who had ever been victim of the Hunger Games. I wiped my eyes furiously and stood up.

 “I have to go,” I said firmly. I didn’t wait to be shown out, just ran out the entrance and across the square until I got home. Then I threw myself on my bed and cried until I couldn’t cry any more. I didn’t speak to Eddie again. Until…

 

 Eddie stood at the door, looking unsure what to say or do.

 “Come in,” I said, forcing a weak smile and patting the floor beside me. He sat down and pulled me into a hug. It was all I could do not to cry as I hugged him back. I broke away and there were tears on his face.

 “I can’t let you go without telling you how I feel,” he whispered. I couldn’t say a word, even though I guessed what he was about to say “I love you, Raven. Please try to win. Come home to me. We’ve wasted so much time.”

 “Eddie…” I began, but before I could continue, he grabbed my face and kissed me. I didn’t have the guts to break away.

 “I’m sorry Raven. I should have volunteered. Then I could have been with you at the end.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just leaned against his chest and let him stroke my hair. I saw no point in telling him I didn’t love him back, that I didn’t love anyone. I’d never see him again, after all.

 “Maybe…maybe I will come home. I might win,” I said. Eddie kissed the corner of my mouth.

 “I hope so.”

 After a minute or so, he pressed a small ring into my palm. It must have been from the Capitol, as it was made of gold, which is very rare in District 10. It had an intricate pattern on it, and I gazed at it in awe.

 “Will you wear it as a District token?”

 I nodded, and was about to slide it on to my finger, but he stopped me.

 “Wait.” He took the ring back and held it out to me. I thought he was just acting odd, then I realised what he was doing.

 “If you return…will you marry me?”

5: Five
Five

I was so astounded that I couldn’t speak. My mouth gaped and I was aware that I must have looked like a complete idiot, but I had an excuse! What a bombshell to drop on me!

 “Eddie, don’t you think it’s too soon?” I said, grasping at an excuse.

 “But don’t you understand? There is no time! Not for us.”

 I swallowed “I…yes. Okay. I’ll marry you.”

 Eddie smiled and tears spilled over his freckled cheeks as he slid the ring onto my finger. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t feel anything back. He kissed me again, and then the Peacekeeper was there, telling him his time was up. He grabbed at my hands as he was dragged away, to touch me one more time.

 “I’ll never forget you!” he cried “Come home soon-”

 I slumped against the loveseat again, covering my eyes. I was exhausted from keeping my emotions concealed, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. But I had one last visitor. I heard the door creak as it opened, and I looked up to see Logan’s father. I thought it may be normal for the Mayor to visit tributes before they left for the Capitol, so I stood and extended my hand for him to shake. It was quite a surprise, therefore, when he pulled me into a hug.

 “Raven, my dear. This is such a terrible day. Yet I hear you have just got engaged.”

 I groaned inwardly “Yes, sir. I am to be Raven Grey.”

 The Mayor laughed slightly to himself “I know what you’re thinking. That you won’t be coming home, and so you’ll never have to marry him.”

 “You know me well,” I said with a small smile.

 “Well, I’m afraid you may have to marry him. I believe you have it in you to come home. That’s why I’m here. I have already discussed this with Logan, and we know he isn’t going to survive this. Therefore-”

 “Hang on. What makes you so sure?”

 “Because Logan made a promise with himself…I shouldn’t be the one to tell you about it... the odds are against him anyway. You should know by now that boys like Logan don’t stand a chance.”

 I didn’t want to agree, but it was true. Logan was strong, but other than that, what qualities did he have to help him survive? That’s the problem with growing up too rich.

 “Anyway, I have a few favours to ask of you, Raven. Firstly, I would like you to ally with my son. If you get past the final eight, I will understand if you want to split off. But I want him to have a friend until the end. Secondly…don’t kill him.”

 “I wouldn’t,” I said, horrified he had even thought it.

 “Good. I will look after your family, don’t you worry. Oh, and your…fiancé? Is that what I should call him? Edward. But you needn’t worry for him. He lives like a king. And you shall live with him should you return.”

 I was about to argue and say I would never marry Eddie, but the Peacekeeper told Mayor Golding it was time to leave. He kissed my cheek.

 “Good luck, Raven. Remember everything I said.”

 He hurried from the room, and the Peacekeeper beckoned me to follow him. I was put in a car and I spent the journey to the train station thinking over my goodbyes. Did Eddie really want to marry me? Did Mayor Golding actually think I could win?

 Cameras flashed as I stepped out the car into the station. I spotted Logan getting out his own car. He glared at the cameras with pure hatred and strode towards the train. I quickened my step to catch up with him, and then stood in the doorway to the train beside him while pictures of us were snapped. Following Logan’s example, I glowered ahead until we were allowed inside.

6: Six
Six

Eli boarded the train several seconds after us, and pushed us through to a very fancy carriage, with diamond chandeliers, couches made of animal skins and a crystal drinks bar to help yourself to. The train was moving already, and moving so fast the outside world had become a blur. Goodbye District 10 I thought.

 “Right! Logan and Raven! Raven and Logan! Welcome! Make yourselves at home, I will fetch Drew and Valeria. Isn’t this just exhilarating?”

 “No,” I said coldly, causing Logan to chuckle. Eli, on the other hand, was not amused.

 “Well, how rude! There was no need for that tone! Do they not teach you to respect your elders in District 10?”

 “Not when they’re from the Capitol.”

 Eli evidently couldn’t think of a decent comeback, and so flounced out the room. As he left, I caught sight of his spike heeled shoes. I sniggered.

 “I didn’t realise men wore heeled shoes. I’ve really seen it all now.”

 “Wait til we get to the Capitol. There will be hundreds of Elis,” Logan grinned. I laughed, before remembering the conversation with Logan’s father. I turned serious and sat down in a fluffy armchair.

 “So…I spoke to your father.”

 “And you’ll do it?”

 I stared at him for what seemed like a long while and then shook my head. He looked hurt, and he planted his hands on my shoulders “Look, Raven, I’ve accepted my death, why can’t you?”

 “You’re asking me to let you die and to be okay with it!”

 “Yes, that is exactly what I’m asking you! You have more chance than I do. And now you have Eddie to go home to.”

 “How do you know about that?” I snapped.

 “Well, the ring is a bit of a giveaway,” he said smugly, almost back to his normal self. I was about to shout at him, but Eli returned with Valeria and Drew. I stood and offered my hand for Drew to shake. He ignored me completely and sat in the seat I had just occupied. I tried not to show him that it bothered me, and instead let Valeria kiss both my cheeks.

 “I’m sorry that you were chosen. I believe you are engaged to be married to my nephew?”

 “Yes,” I said, forcing a smile “Hopefully I will return so that the marriage can go ahead.”

 “That’s the spirit,” Drew said dryly “Bet you can’t wait to get out there and kill some other kids.”

 I glared at him “You know, I once had sympathy for you. Now? Not so much.”

 “You think I care? You think I give a damn what you think of me?”

 “Stop it both of you. We have important issues to discuss, and I haven’t got time for this sort of behaviour from either of you. Sit down,” Valeria ordered. She frightened me a bit. I could see why she was a victor. She had power. Of course, we obeyed. I sat on a couch with Logan, and we looked up at our female mentor expectantly.

 “Firstly. Your image. How you look and act will be important for getting sponsors, so you must always be on your toes. Raven you already come across as strong and bold from the way you handled the reaping, which is good, but we need you to keep it up. Hopefully, your stylist will be able to assist you with that. Logan, it’s going to be trickier with you, I’ll admit. As you can imagine, being the Mayor’s son, people will quickly target you. We need you to show us, and all the other tributes, that you can be deadly. Have you got any special skills? Can you use any weapons?”

 “Not really. I’m quite fit, and a good runner.”

 “How about darts? You beat your father,” I piped up, “Remember? At that party? Surely knife throwing could be useful?”

 “That’s a very good point, Raven. What about you?”

 “I’m pretty good at darts too. And I can use a sword. My father taught me.”

 “Excellent. There is no guarantee there will be swords, but remember, use what you can. There will always be something of use to you. If you leave the Cornocopia with no weapons, it will make things more difficult for you, but even a small stone or a makeshift spear can make a difference. If you’re sneaky, you could use the stone to smash someone’s head in. And you never know, a spear can do quite a lot of damage, even if it is poorly constructed. And if you are clever enough, using the elements can come to your advantage.”

 “In case you’re wondering, Valeria set fire to one of her opponents. That’s what she’s going on about,” Drew smirked, but there was no humour in his expression. All I could see was disgust. I felt another pang of sadness for him, and wondered if the Games would change me at all.

 “Yes, well, thank you for that Drew,” Valeria said “Moving on…have either of you thought about alliances at all? Or would you prefer to be coached separately?”

 Logan looked at me “I want to be allies. My father requested it. I’m waiting for Raven to agree.”

 Everyone, even Drew, stared at me expectantly. Logan raised an eyebrow as though to say It’s all I ask of you. I threw my hands in the air in despair.

 “Alright. Have it your way.”

 Logan smiled and shook my hand “We’re going to be a great team.”

 “And at least one of us will end up dead, but hey, it’s all part of the fun,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I swear I saw Drew smile slightly. Maybe we’re more alike than I thought I said to myself. Valeria nodded wisely.

 “That’s all I need to know for now. Dinner will be served in around an hour, so go to your rooms and make yourselves comfortable. An Avox will show you the way.”

 Though I knew what to expect, I was astonished at the beauty of my room, which in comparison to my home in District 10 was enchanting. I peeled off my reaping clothes and allowed the hot water of the fancy shower to engulf me. The heat relaxed my aching shoulders, and I felt calmer than I had for a long time. But as I reached to press a button, the sight of the wedding band on my finger sent me back into panic. I sighed and stepped out the shower.  No matter what happened in the Games the outcome would be bad. Die a painful death or marry a man I didn’t love and never would.

 I dressed in a soft pink blouse and khaki trousers, and was just about to investigate whether dinner was almost ready when there was a soft knock at the door. I swung it open and Logan strode in.

 “Yes, you may come in my room, Logan. How nice of you to ask first.”

 “Lovely to see you too, Ray. You look pretty.”

 I knew he was winding me up, and hid a smile “Is there something you wanted?”

 “I wanted to thank you. For agreeing to be my ally. I respect and admire you, and I realise now it’s not easy for you. I don’t think I could watch you die if I was in your shoes.”

 “I don’t want to watch you die.”

 “I know.”

 “You’re not being fair to me.”

 “I know.”

 I curled my toes into the carpet and stared down “What would we be doing now, I wonder. If we were at home, I mean.”

 “Probably thanking God we weren’t chosen.”

I smiled sadly “I still don’t understand why you’re giving up before it’s even started.”

 He looked me in the eye, before pulling his gaze away and saying “I’m tired of fighting. It feels like it’s one person against the Capitol to me. I swore to myself, on my very first reaping, that if I was ever chosen, I wouldn’t kill anyone. I plan to stick with that.”

 I suddenly felt guilty for not feeling the same way. How was it that I, along with twenty two other kids, was preparing to kill, no, murder people to survive, and he was embracing death like it was his best friend.

 “Are you not scared?” I asked him.

 “Scared? Of course I’m scared. I’m terrified. I want to go home. I want to rewind time and run away with you to the woods. Your idea seems so much smarter now.”

 He hung his head, too late, and I saw the tears trickle down his face. Instinctively, I reached out and pulled him to me, and he hugged me back. I buried my face in his shoulder. He hadn’t changed his clothes, and he smelt of home.

 “Hey, you’re making my shirt all wet,” Logan laughed unsteadily. I tried to laugh too, but it came out as a choke.

 “Let’s just try and enjoy our time here. After all, how many kids get to see the Capitol?”

 I snorted “I’d rather be at home.”

 “Of course you would. So would I.”

 We were interrupted by another knock at the door, and I sprang apart from Logan. Eli was stood, filing his talons/nails in the doorway.

 “I thought I’d let you know that the food is ready…though you still haven’t apologized for being rude to me earlier.”

 “I don’t plan to either. Aren’t you eating?”

 “Oh no! I’m watching my weight. You wouldn’t understand. You’re from a District, after all.”

 I pretended to be upset “Don’t I pass as a Capitol citizen?”

 “Of course not. You’re not glamorous enough, darling. And you walk…all hunched over. Allow me to show you how you should hold yourself.” He lifted his head high, put one hand on his hip, and strutted across the room. Unfortunately, I had left my reaping dress on the floor. It tangled in Eli’s spike heeled shoes, and his arms flailed wildly as he tumbled to the floor. I couldn’t stop my laughter escaping and Eli glared at me from the floor.

 “And that’s how you do it!” I cried. I held my hand out to help him up, but just as he grabbed it, I doubled over laughing again. Logan had to pick him up from under the armpits, though he was laughing almost as much as I was. When he was back on his feet, he gathered as much dignity as possible and flounced from the room.

 “That is so what I needed,” I said when I regained my composure, whilst wiping away my tears.

 “So did I. But do you know what I need now?”

 “What?”

 “Food.”