I should’ve told you this long ago, back when we were still dating, before we got married.

This is a story of someone I met before you. This wasn’t actually one of those ‘it didn’t work out’ things. This is more important than that. And she wanted me to tell you.

She didn’t really know exactly who it was she wanted me to tell this to, but she didn’t care.

Where do I start? Not from the beginning, that will take too long. I am too old for long stories, and you and I both know that my time is near. Too near.

So let’s start with her. She wasn’t the beginning, but she is important in the story, obviously. So let’s understand her first. Who was she?

She was someone that I loved before you. No, don’t get angry. My love for her never stopped my love for you. I have loved you with my heart and my soul, no matter how many times my heart was weak, or my soul was impure. I still loved you.

I gave my heart to her. She was nice and caring. The years without her have done me no good, because now I cannot remember exactly how she looked like.

But I never forgot how pure she was, how considerate.

She was always there for me when I needed her. I always thought to myself ‘I don’t deserve this wonderful woman’.

And I was right. Apparently Life knew it too.

But, she didn’t deserve what happened to her.

In the middle of our relationship, she became distant. Mean, rude, the exact opposite of what she was. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what happened.

One day, when she was mean and rude, impolite and snarky, I looked into her eyes. And I saw, in those eyes, sadness. It was very well concealed, but it was still there. And that was my hope. That was what kept me going.

Eventually, she just stopped coming to see me. And it broke my heart. I always went to her house without fail, but no one ever opened the door.

I became depressed. I stopped eating. I just slept the whole day, and I went to her house at night.

One day, when I went to her house, her mother opened the door. I was very surprised. And her mother hugged me and started to cry.

After, I asked her what was wrong. She just brought me to her daughter’s room, and inside was her daughter, my girlfriend, on the bed, looking very frail and sickly.

She told her mom to go out (very politely) and she faced me. She looked tired and defeated. She told me that she was pushing me away because she didn’t want me to get hurt. I still remember her exact words.

“Jon, I am dying. When we started our relationship, I didn’t know it yet. I was still happy. But then, slowly, I became weaker, and my parents brought me to the doctor. He told me I only had four more months. That was somewhere in the middle of the relationship. I didn’t want you to get hurt, so I tried to push you away, tried to make you stop loving me. But you were too stubborn.

Jon, it’s my time, but it’s not yours. You still have your whole life ahead of you. I don’t. Now, when I leave, don’t grieve. I want you to live your whole life. Live your life to the fullest. If your memory of me will stop you, then forget about me. I’m not important.

Find a girl. Someone you can be with your whole life. Someone who could do what I couldn’t, and that is be there for you. Don’t let your memory of me stop you from loving her with all your heart. Because she deserves a wonderful guy like you. And you deserve a wonderful girl. You deserve someone better than me.

I want you to tell whoever that lucky girl is about me. She deserves to know.

And, Jon, never think for a minute of your life that I’m not watching you. That I just left. Because I will always love you, even if death tears us apart. “

And then she died, holding my hand.

And I carried out her wishes. And now it is my time.

I never forgot her, and I didn’t want to.

I can already feel myself weakening.

Before I go, I just want to say she never stopped me from loving you with all my heart. I already said this, but don’t forget it.

I love y-