To me, knowing a person is the most amazing thing.

I don't mean just knowing a person's hobbies, talents, or qualities. Knowing what they're thinking or how they would respond to something doesn't make the cut either. Being able to share these things with someone is great, but toreally know someone means to support them, be honest with them, and to be able to look to them for anything.

This is one of those things that just can't be put into words… but I'll try anyway.

I bet that right now you are thinking of someone who you really know- your relationship with them is what I described above. Maybe you're even thinking of someone who fits into the other two categories. Almost everyone knows someone who falls into any of these groups.

So here's the concept I'm pondering. Wouldn't it be awesome to make the effort and try to really know someone, except that that someone was the majority of people you meet?

Pause. I'm not saying you have to be best friends with the guy who hands you your fast food. Obviously, some people you will only be able to see once in your lifetime, and there's nothing you can do about that. And, obviously, you're gonna need to get to know someone to a certain level before you can decide.

But that's just it! Deciding to really know someone… what are we deciding on?

Whether or not you really want to get to know someone is usually based on, first and foremost, appearance. It sounds so bad but we all know it's so true. This is usually a gauge for common interests (getting to that) and is even shallower. Like, for real? "They don't dress like me so I won't talk to them." We think that only happens in movies and dramas but I'm sure everyone does it, whether or not they're aware of it.

Second basis for deciding— common interests. This is the one that bugs me. Say you're shy and prefer a good book over a party, and you meet a jock who always has a friend or two hanging around. Do we let dramatic differences like this kill a potential relationship before it even begins? Frequently, yes. Shouldwe? Well, when you get down to it… most of the time, no.

A good relationship can be based on common interests and most often is. But again, that's what bothers me. Common interests are only a small part of what a relationship is made of. Do you think our deepest friendships will be based on something so shallow? It's fine for starters… but what happens later? Think of all you'll miss if you let it be the only doorway to getting to know a person. That's narrow-minded thinking in my book.

Third basis for deciding— trust. Once you've pushed past the first two, it's time to see what this person is all about. There are, unfortunately, quite a few people who will take you for granted, blow you off, treat you like dirt. For those who make it clear they're this type—yeah, they're not good candidates. Also, if you just discover that some people completely clash with your personality and ultimately annoy the heck out of you, there's no shame in not pursuing that friendship to deep roots. Again, if you're gonna close the door on a person for these reasons, don't kid yourself and do it because you're too narrow-minded about the ideal person you'd like to hang out with. The clashes have to be legit.

So my bottom line is this, open up. Knowing a person is an incredible experience that can really help both you and them grow, heal, be happy, and a long list of others. Don't limit your options by the petty things society often uses as the determining factors. But a fair warning— once you rise above these limits, you'll likely end up meeting several people you don't get along with at all or a few that may even hurt you before you see it coming. But just know that being a little vulnerable and taking the risk is worth the people who will live life alongside you to the end.

Thought. I put a lot of thought into everything, from planning to schoolwork to observing. Actually, the large amount of observing I do is probably the reason why I think so much. Or vice versa…? Here are a few ways in which my thoughts are always racing…

I like to process things, which is why movies are like a whole other world to me—given that they're well made. If I try to watch some crappy, low-budget sci-fi movie, I'm really not able to dive into the story because all I can think about is how computerized the shark looks or how fake the blood is.

Whoa, tangent. Anyway, a good movie can grab my imagination and stretch it in all sorts of ways. I constantly think about what the characters should/could do, how they're feeling, what I would do in those circumstances, how awesome or horrible a situation would be… and the list goes on. I'm convinced that, though they say TV rots your brain, it is more of an exercise for mine.

It's similar to reading a book. I think of the same things listed above, but without a visual to guide my way, there's obviously more brain power involved (is that why teachers always encourage kids to read…?). Again, I'm immersed in the story so much that my present life is gone and there's only the world of the plot. It's even better at times because I can be the safe observer, able to catch all of the action from both my and the protagonist's perspectives. Yet I'll admit, sometimes I wish more than anything that I could be the character who has that great friend, that awesome adventure, that incredible opportunity. I'll make a note, however, that I love my life as it is and wouldn't trade it for anything. Stories just inspire me to enhance my experiences, and sometimes I end the day wondering if I could possibly sail the ocean, find the father, kill the zombies…

But then my thoughts do crazy things to me. Processing things constantly is not always good. I'll be in the car, zoning out as we go down the road, and randomly ask someone about something without mentioning what I was thinking about. So while it's a simple question to me, to them I suddenly say out of the blue, "Did he really do that on purpose?"

Another tangent… my most embarrassing moment. I finished lunch the other day, my napkin in one hand, phone in the other. I intended to drop the dirty napkin on the plate and keep the phone, but… I did the opposite. It was likely because my phone was in my left hand, and since my active thinking was preoccupied, my brain just assumed my phone was in my dominant right hand and didn't check to be sure before I set my phone on a plate of spaghetti sauce and ranch dressing. That's what phone cases are for, as I told the guy across the table who was looking at me like I was an alien.

Another thing I do is thinking so much about one thing that I forget about another. I got my plane ticket the other day, and when I glanced at it I was thinking about whatever. Ten minutes later, when we needed to know our seats, I rattled off the number without hesitation—having absolutely no idea how I knew that, with no memory of ever learning that knowledge. I'm sure that happens to a lot of people, but as I do it more and more, it's almost scary.

One more— opinions. Thoughts and observations lead to opinions about people, topics, everything. This reaches its peak when I meet new people. I observe them, their responses, their preferences, their personalities. Lately I've been really aware of the differences between introverts and extroverts, marveling at how different they are and, you guessed it, wondering what it would be like to be the opposite. I'm an ambivert, shy around people I don't know but lonely after a few hours by myself. I wonder what it would like to be an extreme extrovert, like a few people I know. I can see how it would be, but I can't experience it.

This may have put you to sleep, in which case I apologize. While I'm writing this I'm thinking about how this is coming across to anyone who isn't me— or, everyone, I guess.

So let me know how this goes over.

I absolutely have to talk about this because it is absolutely awesome.

There are normal dreams, scary dreams, super fun dreams… so many different types. Most of the time I find myself dreaming the normal ones, or the ones where normal things happen—just not in a logical way. For example, a while back I dreamt about being in the locker room at school. Someone called me, but my phone screwed up and I couldn't answer it. Then everyone suddenly noticed I was there and began turning the locker room into a clothing store as I made a beeline for the door. All that kind of stuff can happen, but it wouldn't happen in that way. It doesn't mean anything and it doesn't go anywhere—there's no real plot (some dreams have plots, and those are cool, but there's always something that still doesn't make sense).

Think about it… what do you normally dream about? I've noticed that the things that tend to show up in my dreams are those that I think about a whole lot (a huge exam that's coming up) or the minor details of my day (seeing a dumpster on my way into the store).

How much control do you have? Can you always wake yourself up, or never? For me, it's half and half. Can you control anyone in your dreams? I don't think I've ever done that… the characters always have minds of their own, unless I somehow swap bodies... that's pretty cool, actually.

One of the biggest things I get from my dreams are the fake good ideas. When I'm dreaming about, say, a great idea for a new story, it seems amazing and inspirational at the time. I want to write it immediately before I wake up and forget it. And when I finally do wake up, I realize how stupid it was, how it would never work. That's a bummer.

Have you ever noticed how some of the emotional extremes you have in dreams have never happened in real life? I've had moments of utter fear that I've never felt when I'm awake. Joy, too—the most prominent example for me was when I dreamt I was swimming on my deck, only I was actually swimming in it, the rails holding in the water, which is impossible. Maybe that's why it was so fun, because I was doing the impossible. Like when you dream of flying. Hmm…

Ok, last thing… have you ever found your dreams helpful? Have they inspired you, told you to do something, or maybe warned you of a possible consequence to an event? I've had a couple dreams that, corny as it sounds, have really impacted my life. I dreamt once that I'd died, and as I was dying I felt so much regret that it was depressing, agonizing—as if I hadn't lived my life to its full potential and had lost my one chance to leave my mark. That caused me to make some changes and be sure to spend my time in wiser ways.

I just love what dreams are. I marvel at their mystery and the insane stuff that we get from them. The whole concept fascinates me, and I am looking into learning more about them soon. Also, one of my future stories will definitely involve dreams (it's a rewrite from my childhood, but it will be good).

Try keeping a journal of your dreams, or when you wake up, analyze where every part of it came from. I don't think it you'll get anything practical from it, but hey, it's still fun.

Attitude really is everything. It determines how you carry out your actions and tasks, and it can give others an impression of whom you are that may or may not be accurate. It reflects your opinion of what you are doing and who you are with. This is conveyed by your words, facial expressions, and body language.

I'll use the example of playing tennis. Let's make this simple and assume you're skill level is average, you're acquainted with the people around you, and you are overall comfortable in your environment.

While you may be comfortable, that doesn't mean you're enjoying your time on the courts. If you serve sloppily and let your racket swing idly at your side between hits, people will think you don't want to be there and that you don't care. Or maybe you are into the game, hitting back every shot, but also glaring at your opponent and giving them looks when they hit the ball out of bounds. People will assume you're mad at them for something or are having a bad day. Either of these scenarios communicates that either something is very wrong or that you are immature enough to let your other problems get in the way.

Then again, you could be totally into the game. You're hitting the ball as best you can, always attentive and on your toes, communicating with your opponent and maybe laughing now and then. People will think you are enjoying the game and having a good time, and even if you are worried about something or struggling with a burden, you are still there, putting your best foot forward and giving it your all. This tells people that you are a fun person who lives in the moment and knows how to have a good time, even if life sucks at the moment.

This is obvious stuff, right? You know how to read body language. You know how to tell if someone is mad, sad, happy—this is kindergarten. So why am I reiterating all this?

Because while we know what body language means, we don't always know how we are coming across to people, and sometimes there's a miscommunication down the line. Some people are very expressive and always make it clear—intentionally or unintentionally—what they're thinking. But it may take more work to figure out what someone means when they don't use a lot of facial expression. This isn't a bad thing— they just convey their emotions differently. The person may seem neutral or unenthusiastic about a lot of things when really that's just how they appear on the outside. Eventually, you learn to read their body language and can determine how they feel about something.

You may not always have the time to get to know others, and vice versa. You may pay the cashier and leave, and some distraction (thoughts, lost credit card, etc.) may skew how you meant to come across. Instead of being able to cheerily greet them and make conversation to show that you're friendly, you're too busy thinking about that test tomorrow or digging through our pockets for the credit card. I'm not saying you can't let distractions happen—to eliminate all of them is impossible—but it's not too much to ask to do our best under the circumstances.

Think about it. When we have an interview, we analyze all the details—how we're dressed, if our breath smells, good hygiene, being sure to smile, having clear and sensible speech— the list goes on. We do this because we want to make a good impression—we want to be sure that we come across as enthusiastic and professional. And while we may hold the opinions of a potential employer in higher regards than some cashier we'll never see again, that doesn't mean we should forget about the latter altogether. Ultimately, your attitude is a reflection of who you are, and I'm sure most people don't want to come across as a grumpy, snobby, or self-absorbed person.

Bottom line, just be aware. Note how you do things, and how people react. If something goes wrong, there's no harm in apologizing or clarifying something. It's better than leaving an impression you didn't want to leave. Be yourself, and be sure to show people who yourself is.

We’ve all heard the quote, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” But do we really know how powerful this is?

            People say that you need to go for your dreams, that you need to work hard to accomplish your goals. I’m sure many of us hear statements like these and nod in agreement. But it’s easier said than done.

            Have you ever set out to do something, thinking it was impossibly hard or just not going to happen, but for any of numerous reasons you tried anyway? And then, in the end, you ended up succeeding? Were you surprised? Probably. Were you motivated to tackle something else just as difficult? Most likely.

            My point is, I think a lot more could happen if we were more determined. When you want something and you have the will to get it/make it happen, that leads to persistence and effort, maybe to the point where your own actions surprise you. Opportunities begin to present themselves, even if you have to look for them long and hard. Problems arise, of course, but many can be solved or adjustments can be made to continue along with the rules.

            In the end, look what you’ve got! Look where you are! There is no satisfaction like earning something you worked hard for.

            Yet I think many of us, myself included, don’t put that much effort into pursuing our goals. We hear stories of people reaching their desired level of achievement, and we stand looking up at them thinking how great it was that they got to where they were going. Then we wish we could do the same, and maybe we are inspired to take action towards our own dreams. Most of the time, however, that motivation sputters out and dies, soon being forgotten as we return to our rut of normalcy.

            I don’t like that. I call it laziness, and to put it simply, it’s pathetic. True, some things just aren’t part of our destiny. But as humans there are some things we’re meant for, and deep down I believe we know the difference between wanting something because it sounds cool and wanting something because it’s part of our future.

            Bottom line, don’t be lazy. Not everything can be quickly and easily obtained at a drive-thru window or with a large wad of cash, as society would have us believe. Instead, get some effort and determination and do what you know you need to be doing.

Life’s too short to wish for better—make it happen yourself.