“Hey Timmy Bear, I woke up this morning feeling like something was special but I can’t remember what it could possibly be! Text me when you roll out of bed you tired boy. Love ya XOXO.” I smile softly to myself at her typical sarcasm. Belle and I had been together for a year and a half, and we had been best friends for much longer. “Morning sweetheart. You must be going crazy, today is just simply ordinary I can’t imagine why you would be feeling that way. Hope you slept as well as I did!”

As I walk downstairs, I notice the familiar smell of my favorite breakfast and begin to bounce like a little boy as I walk in the kitchen. “My son is finally an adult!” My dad says as I enter and I smile nodding. “Where’s the bacon dad?!” I say and he laughs. “Always the same little Timothy, if only your mother could see you now.” We both smile sadly at each other. “I arranged for the yacht to pick you and your friends up at five o’clock today for your party and I…” Before he could finish, Belle flew through my front door like a whirlwind, and landed in my arms. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” She screeches giggling as she leans back to kiss me. “What brings you here?” I say smiling. She rolls her bright green eyes and tucks a stray golden strand of hair behind her ear. “Gee I don’t know…” She clasps her hands and rocks back on her heels innocently. I laugh and kiss her forehead, turning back to my dad. “What were you saying dad?” He’s standing on the other side of the kitchen smiling at us almost sadly, and I briefly wonder if he’s remembering himself and my mother when they were our age. My mother died when I was eight years old in a fishing accident while she was on a trip with my father and I know he blames himself for not being able to save her. He shakes his head and smiles at me directly. “Just that the boat will be at the dock at five o’clock so that the party can begin.” I nod and smile at him gratefully. “You sure you don’t want your birthday party on land?” Belle says looking up at me hopefully. I knew Belle had a fear of boats but I had wanted my eighteenth birthday party on a boat since I was thirteen years old. “Baby…” I started, and I watched the hope fade from her beautiful eyes. “I know Timmy I’m sorry.”
“How about this sweetheart, I will take you out all day today and we can spend the day together. If you still don’t want to come on the boat by the time its at the dock, you don’t have to come and I promise I won’t love you any less than I do right now. Okay?” Belle looks up at me and smiles. “Okay Timmy I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

***

We spent the day in town, walking hand in hand down the boardwalk, talking non stop about the most ridiculous of topics. I loved Belle with all my heart, and a day like this with her was more than anything I could ever ask for but as my party neared, I got more and more excited. I could tell Belle was becoming anxious as the time ticked down, but she was good at concealing it. At four forty, we began to head down to the wharf to catch the boat. "What are you going to do sweetie?" I ask her softly. She looks at the floor frowning. "I want to come with you." She says. "I feel safe with you, and I know that the party will be super fun. Besides, its your birthday and I want to be with you." I look at her surprised. "You sure Belle? You don't have to." She nods smiling. "I'm sure. As long as you're there, there is nothing to be afraid of." I hug her, spinning her in a circle. Although it's selfish, I'm beyond excited that she agreed to come. '"I love you!" I say. And she shrieks with laughter. "Alright, alright I love you too! Now come on before you're late."

***

The party is well underway by 8:00 and the boat is far out in the bay, crashing over waves to take us to the edge where we will have front row seats for the weekly firework show. Belle has clung to me the entire time, and even though I'm beyond grateful that she's here, it is killing me to see her so afraid. "Why did you have to do this?" Belle asks me softly, and I look down to notice tears pooling in her eyes. "You knew I was terrified and I... why couldn't you just do this on land?" I turned her towards me so I could look her straight in the eye. "Belle you know why... I've dreamt of something like this for years and I couldn't throw it all away just..."
"For some girl?" I looked at her shocked. Of course Belle and I had fought, but she'd never spoken to me that way before. "Belle... I told you that you didn't need to come. This party meant a lot to me... you're not just some girl, I love you but this party has been a dream of mine. You know that. So why all of this, why now? Can't it wait?" She pushed away from me frantically, stumbling as a boat hit a wave. "Sorry to ruin your night."

I watch helplessly as the girl I love runs off into the crowd.

Was I being unfair? Most likely. But at the moment I didn't care at all. As the boat rocked my fear grew tenfold, and now, knowing I couldn't go back to Timothy made everything a million times worse. My heart lunged into my throat, and I felt as if my skin was too tight on my body. I walk up the narrow stairway to the upper deck, thinking that the fresh air will help, but as I reach the top and see the ocean flying by underneath my feet, my stomach jumps to my throat and I dry heave before backing up and falling into one of the chairs, my legs shaking underneath me uncontrollably. "Are you okay?" A random guy from the party walks up to me and kneels down so he's my height. He's got dark eyes and an extremely unattractive five o'clock shadow. "Go away." I say, scooting as far back as I can. The air is tight enough without someone being up in my face. I wish I was back with Timothy, where at least his arms kept me safe from tumbling overboard. The stranger shrugs and walks away, disappearing into the crowd. 

Once my panic attack subsides, I find it within my to stand and try to make my way back below deck, but the sea of people makes it too hard to maneuver correctly and with my shaking legs, making my way back to Tim is hopeless. The boat hits a wave and I'm pitched forward into the rail that separate me from the water, and my fear spikes again. My whole being is consumed with fear and I drop as low as I can. attempting to make it all stop and rid myself of the fear that is consuming my body but I become claustrophobic too quickly. 

"Belle!" I hear his voice before I see him, and I look up slowly and find him only a few paces away, coming towards me as fast as he possibly can. When he reaches me, he bends and lifts me up as gently as he can. I'm still pressed against the railing, but all of a sudden he is the only thing I see and I am no longer worried about the frigid water rolling underneath me, or the howling wind. "I'm so sorry." He whispers pulling me into a hug. The boy from before runs up behind him and Tim turns to him briefly to thank him before turning back to me. "Lets get you below deck where it's warmer and less scary okay?" He says and I nod briefly. We're just beginning to move when the boat hits another wave and I'm thrown out of Timmy's arms and against the rail again, only this time the rail gives way and as the door swings open, my feet fly from the deck and I'm pitched into thin air before I realize that I'm falling towards the waves below. I am screaming as loud as I possibly can, the wind tearing through my clothes and hair when suddenly my head strikes something and again I'm pitched forward into nothingness. 

Falling 

    â€‹Falling

        Falling

            Falling

Nothing.