Matthew sat at the dinner table with his family. There was silence all around and from what he remembered, it always used to be his favorite time. Alfred would talk about what he did with his friends or beg their parents to let him go to this birthday party he was invited to. Francis, his Papa, would be a bit "touchy." Arthur, his Dad, would be complaining about his day. That USED to be their family dinner.

Nowadays, everyone was quiet. Alfred would no longer talk about his friends. Arthur would just get drunk and Francis... he was cut out of the picture 9 years ago. Matthew could still remember the day he left.

Matthew was playing with his stuffed polar bear when suddenly he heard Daddy and Papa shouting. Curious, he walked to the stairs and saw Alfred already at the bottom listening. He walked to the bottom of the steps where his brother was and listened to the fight going on.

"What happened Al?" Alfred shrugged.

"All I know is that Daddy came out of his office and slapped Papa then started shouting about something. I don't know why though." Matthew nodded and walked off to listen closer and maybe even watch. He knew that Daddy would shout at Papa sometimes and Papa would shout back but it was never like this.

"Why would you do this to me?! We're married with a pair of twins! Did you even think about them at all?! Did you ever think about me you bloody git? Answer me you damn frog!"

"You want to know why? I'm sick of you always insulting me! I'm sick of you getting drunk all the time!"

"I do NOT get drunk all the time!"

"Need I remind you when the boys were babies?! I had to take care of them all the time while you were out with your friends having a beer chugging contest then I had to pick your ass up from the bar when you passed out drunk! I'm fucking sick of having to be the one person you lean on all the fucking time! Grow a pair and take care of your sons!" Arthur slapped Francis and that almost generated another fight when little Matthew cried.

"Daddy stop it!" Tears blurred his vision as tears came down like a waterfall. Arthur grabbed Matthew by the shoulders.

"Listen here young man," He started in a serious tone, "this is a matter between me and your father. Stay out of it for it isn't any of your business, got it?" The little boy nodded as he father let go of him but left the room. He came back with a suitcase and chucked it at Francis almost hitting him in the face.

"Get your clothes and leave. If you want to turn your back on this family, then you can just go and be with your little lover. Just get the fuck out of my home." Matthew's eyes widened when he saw Papa start walk out and heard his footsteps go up the stairs.

He ran up to their room and Alfred followed. They went to their parents' room and saw Francis packing his things. Matthew's lips trembled and he let out a silent choked sob. Francis turned around and saw his boys standing in the doorway and put his shirt down then patted on his lap. The boys got the message and crawled into his lap.

"Where are you going Papa? Are you coming back?" Alfred asked while trying not to cry.

"Boys, you are five years old and never going to understand this until you get older, but when one parent makes a dumb mistake that the other one finds out about, they fight badly. When they fight like that they use things against each other and it causes the one that made the mistake to leave. So that is what happened today. I made a mistake, Daddy got mad at me and now I have to leave."

"How long?" Matthew asked.

"Forever." Matthew and Alfred looked at their Papa surprised and started bawling after a minute.

"We don't want you to go!" They chorused in their crying. Francis hugged them tight and kissed their foreheads.

"Just because I'm leaving forever doesn't mean that I'll be completely out of your lives or that I don't love you anymore. I'll always be thinking of you and you two have to promise me the same thing, okay?" They nodded as Francis put them down and kept packing his things. They ran down the steps and blocked the front door. Papa had to stay if they never left from their spot.

Francis came down the stairs and Arthur was silently walking to the door. The now broken couple stopped when they saw their five-year old boys in front of the door. Sighing, Arthur bent down to their level.

"Boys, I know you don't want Papa to go but he has to."

"Why?" Alfred asked.

"Papa hurt us in a way, you wouldn't understand if I told you now but someday when you're older and you know, you'll understand. Now step aside." Matthew moved but Alfred didn't. He was going to stay right there and stop Papa from leaving but Arthur wasn't having any of it.

"Alfred, I said move out of the way." The boy shook his head and stayed right where he was. The Englishman had no choice but to pick up Alfred who had started to kick and scream. Francis watched and Arthur glared at him and jerked his head toward the door.

The French man nodded and walked out. Matthew did the only thing he could and latched onto his father's leg.

"I'm not letting you go!" Francis tried to move more but Matthew stayed in place until Arthur had to come and pick him up after putting Alfred in time-out. He squirmed and tried getting out of his grasp. Papa's car backed out of the driveway and was going. Matthew bit his daddy's hand and when he dropped to the ground, he ran full speed after the car.

"PAPA DON'T GO! PAPA, TAKE ME WITH YOU PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!" But it was too late, Papa was too far away. Matthew dropped to the ground on his knees crying as he saw Papa's car driving off, not backing up in anyway. Suddenly he was lifted up off the ground and was turned around to see Daddy's not amused face.

"Matthew, you are in time-out for biting my hand! Do you know how much this hurts?!"

"I'm s-sorry D-daddy!"

"Sorry won't cut it! Let's go mister." Matthew cried the whole way home.

Matthew let a tear fall into Dad's crappy cooking which he was sure had come to life. To this day, he missed Papa. He missed how he would sing to him when he had a nightmare. He missed how Papa would cook, even better than what Dad calls cooking. Arthur took notice to his son acting like this.

"Matthew, why aren't you eating anything off your plate?" The blond looked up then back down again.

"I'm not hungry." He said in a soft tone.

"Not hungry? You have to eat something! The doctor said that you have to get some food in your body otherwise your brain will slow down. Now stay seated and eat this delicious food." Alfred scoffed.

"This shit you call food would only be edible to animals, people with no taste buds, or someone with no sense on what good food is." Arthur hit the back of his son's head.

"Do you realize how much work it is to raise you two by myself! I have to cook food for you, buy you clothes, get Matthew to hockey practice, get you to your Eagle Scout shit, get your asses to school and I have to make sure you two have what you need! Do you realize how much effort that is? The worst part is that there's no one to help me!" Arthur yelled.

"Maybe if you didn't chase Papa out you'd have someone to take care of us while you go get drunk!" Alfred shouted as Arthur grew furious. Matthew had a feeling that this would turn into one of those nights again. Dad and Alfred fighting.

"That is enough young man! I will not have any of this, do you want to go to bed without supper?"

"Heh. If it means being spared from this vomit inducing crap you call food, then yes I would like to go to bed without supper." Arthur pointed the way out of the dining room which Alfred was glad to leave. Matthew was going to make a move too when a hand grabbed his wrist and plopped him back down in the seat.

"You are not to make a move until I see at least half of that plate eaten. Also, not one word from you." Matthew sighed at he started to eat. Once he was done with the half he was supposed to eat, he ran to the bathroom to throw up. A pair of hands held his hair back as he purged. When he turned around, Alfred handed him a cup of water which he gratefully accepted.

"Why did you eat Dad's crap?" Was the first thing that came out of Alfred's mouth.

"You heard Dad. I had to eat something."

"Why not just go over to that Albino's house like always?"

"It's Friday so Gilbert, his brother, and some friends of theirs from Germany are having their weekly German Sparkle Party."

"What the hell do they do at those German Sparkle Parties?"

"Eat, drink from beer boots, dance to dub-step. At least that's what Gilbert bothered to tell me. What up with you and that girl Natalia?" Alfred sighed a little.

"Why does everyone think we have a thing?! We're just friends! Just as Papa would say in this situation: friends first, relationship later." Matthew chuckled at his brother's outburst then his thoughts drifted back to Papa. It had been so long since he last saw him, he was still amazed he and Alfred remembered him. Alfred caught on to his brother's sad aura and sat next to him.

"You miss Papa a lot, don't you?" Matthew nodded as he started to cry and Alfred took his brother into his arms.

"It's okay... I'm still here." Matthew cried until he fell asleep leaving Alfred to carry his brother to bed. When he got Matthew to his bed he placed his polar bear plush, Kumajiro, in his arms and smiled when he held it tight to his chest.

He heaved a sigh as he went to his computer and typed in his other father's name. So many results came up for the name Francis Bonnefroy. Christmas was coming up in about two months and one thing Alfred had been trying to get himself and Matthew was a chance to see their Papa again.

Ever since their first Christmas without Papa around, Alfred made a promise to his brother that they'd see their father again. One Christmas he had actually tried walking through the snow in the direction Matthew said that Francis' car had driven off in. Almost got frostbite that year. Then there was another Christmas when he'd called about every number in the phone book trying to find their father's number. Arthur was down-right pissed when the phone bill was so high that month.

This year was going to be different. He was going to get his family back together so he could make his brother happy. This year he was going to find Papa. After almost an hour of dead end searching, Alfred called it quits for the night and turned the computer off. He looked up on a shelf resting in it's place was his old toy alien, Tony. Papa gave him that for Christmas one year when they were two, the same year Papa got Kumajiro for Matthew. He took the plastic thing off the shelf and remembered what happened the day he got him.

Alfred and Matthew got their presents from their Papa and excitedly opened them. Matthew pulled a stuffed polar bear out of the box and hugged it close. Seeing his brother so happy with his thing, he opened up his box slower expecting to get the same thing as his brother but instead got a toy alien! He looked up at his fathers with lit up eyes.

"I noticed how you loved it in the toy store so I went back when you weren't looking and got it for you!" Alfred ran up and hugged his father tight.

"I love you Papa, this is the best present ever! I love it!" Alfred let go and ran back over to his brother to show him what Papa got him.

Alfred cried a little at the memory. That was when all of them were a happy family. But now... they were broken. Arthur stormed into the room half-drunk when he saw his son still up. He walked over and harshly grabbed his shoulder.

"What the hell are you still doing up? Shouldn't you be in bed you wanker?" Arthur slurred.

"I was getting ready to."

"Good. I'm gonna be at work tomorrow so you're making breakfast for you and your brother." Then Arthur stumbled out the door. I always have to make breakfast for me and Matthew you lazy ass drunk. Alfred thought as he went to bed with Tony in his arms. He was going to bring Papa back, even if it killed him.

2: Papa is a Traitor

Alfred woke up to the sound of an alarm clock ringing loudly. Smashing his hand on the button, he woke up to see the snow covered streets. Sighing he got out of bed and put a jacket on because Arthur either neglected to leave any heat on before he left for work again or didn't bother to pay the heat bill again. Walking to the kitchen he passed the same familiar halls of the place he called home for years and passed by a family picture that caught his eye.

It was a picture of him, Matthew, Papa, and Dad when he and his brother were three. They were at the beach that day and Arthur nearly had a heart attack when Francis had a shark fin on his back and was swimming around them when he and Matthew were trying to learn to swim. He chuckled a little and made his way to the kitchen.

Immediately he went to making pancakes for Matthew. As he was cooking he didn't know that Matthew woke up and smelled his cooking. Grabbing a hockey stick and Kumajiro, Matthew traveled down the stairs and into the kitchen. He was about to swing when he saw someone standing at the stove but lowered his guard when it was just Alfred.

"Whoa there Mattie! What up with the hockey stick?" Matthew put the stick on the table and sighed.

"I thought someone came into the house and started cooking or Dad was attempting to cook breakfast again. Where is he and why is the house so cold?" Alfred put the pancakes in front of Matthew who began to eat them after putting a lot of syrup on them.

"I think Dad was okay to go to work today and either he forgot to turn the heat on before leaving or he was too busy getting hammered to pay the heat bill... again." Matthew nodded and continued to eat his pancakes as Alfred got out a bowl of Lucky Charms. The brothers ate until the door opened and storming into the kitchen came Arthur who was fuming mad.

"What's wrong Dad?" The two asked at the same time. Arthur sighed a little and sat down at the table with his sons.

"Boys, I got fired from my job because I came in with a slight hangover again. I don't know what we're going to do, we may actually move into an apartment." Alfred was stunned while Matthew remained quiet. They'd been in this sort of situation before and they've always made it out okay. Matthew hugged his father and kissed his cheek.

"It's going to be okay Dad. We'll make it through, you've always found a way for us to stay here. You can do it again." Arthur scoffed at him a little.

"I don't think I can Matthew. We may actually have to leave this time if I can't find a job."

"Why don't you call Papa? He can help out until you can find another job!" At the mention of his ex, Arthur furiously grabbed Matthew's wrist and looked at him with furious green eyes.

"Don't you ever mention that man in my presence ever again. Understand?" Matthew nodded as he struggled to get out of his grip. Not being able to see his brother in pain Alfred got Arthur's hand off of Mathew's wrist leaving a stunned Englishman and Matthew rubbing his arm.

"Please don't hurt Mattie, he was just suggesting something that could give us a shot at staying in this house. We love it here a lot and we want to stay and he just thought Papa could be nice enough help out and-" Alfred was cut off as Arthur stood up quickly knocking a chair over.

"Alfred, what is the first rule of this house?"

"Never mention Papa."

"Right and why are you mentioning him?"

"Because it's the truth and you have to stop denying the fact that you want Papa back as much as we have for the past nine years! Ever since Papa left, you've been a huge mess losing job after job and having a huge drinking problem. We know that Papa leaving made you sad... you turned cold and heartless and turned into a shitty father, but we still love you and don't want to see you like this anymore."

Arthur moved to slap Alfred but he put his hand down and started to cry. Eventually he fell to his knees crying. Alfred felt a little sorry for the man and moved to put a hand on his father's shoulder but his hand was smacked away.

"You don't know anything! You don't know why your father left, you don't know how this has been making me feel, you don't know how it is to be me! You just don't know so don't fucking go and say you know when you don't!" He yelled at his son.

"You're right, I don't know! But I know what a bitchy drunken broken down mess is when I see one." Alfred shot back as Arthur looked up to glare at him.

"And I know a disrespectfully ungrateful son when I see one!" Arthur said as he walked out of the kitchen and into his room.

He flopped down on the bed and looked at a picture of Francis that for some reason hadn't been turned down after the bloody frog left. Arthur sighed as he put the photo back where it was and turned over.

"I don't need that damn frog. I can take care of those two wankers all by myself." He mumbled to himself. After what that man did, Arthur was never going to forgive him let alone welcome back into the house or his life. Francis practically took his trust and his love then destroyed it like it was nothing.

He picked up his phone but then put it down. No. He's not going to swallow his pride and call that bastard. He started to cry a little until the door opened and quiet footsteps came in and he felt a little weight dipping on the bed and turned around to see Matthew holding his stuffed bear.

"I'm sorry I mentioned him Dad." Was the first thing that came out of Matthew's mouth and Arthur shook his head.

"No no Matthew. While you did break the first rule, you were only making a little suggestion. I shouldn't have grabbed your wrist that hard. Are you okay?" Matthew nodded and hugged his father again. Alfred walked in and looked at his father and brother hugging. He cleared his throat and Arthur sat up and looked at him sternly.

"Is there anything you wanted to say to me Alfred?" They boy nodded and put all his weight on one foot.

"I'm sorry for being disrespectful and rude. You're my father and I shouldn't have been talking to you like that in the first place." Arthur nodded as Alfred joined him, but what Arthur didn't see was the hidden regret in his son's eyes. Alfred didn't want to do this but Mattie had begged him to so he had to.

After the little family moment, Alfred went back to his computer trying to track down Papa again. There has to be at least one Francis Bonnefroy in America, at LEAST one. He was going to find Papa this time. The door opened and Alfred quickly closed the computer and looked up to see Matthew with his stuffed polar bear in hand.

"What were you doing?" He asked as he sat next to his brother.

"Nothing really Mattie, don't worry about it."

"I can tell when you're lying to me Al." Alfred could have cursed himself out because Matthew could tell when anyone was lying. The other blond flipped the laptop up and gasped at what was on the screen.

"You're looking for Papa again? Alfred, you're just gonna fail." Alfred looked at his brother with a questioning look gracing his face. If there was anyone in this household that wanted the Frenchman back home more than anything, it was Matthew.

The first year since Papa left, Matthew had cried his eyes out everyday and even slept in front of the door in case Papa came back and saw him on the floor and carried him back to his room. That always happened, but back then Arthur was always doing that and it broke the other blond's heart every time. For him to just say that... it was unthinkable.

"How can you say that?"

"It's the truth Alfred. Papa is untraceable, you don't know where he really is! He could have gotten a job in another state and moved back to France when he had enough for a plane ticket, enough to pay a moving crew and snagged a job there. Maybe he changed his identity and everything so we wouldn't be able to find him. Maybe he became a drunk like Dad, stopped caring for the family he left behind, became a cold-hearted bastard, he could have forgotten about us entirely, or just killed himself!" By this point, Matthew had been crying. Alfred took his brother into his arms and rubbed his back as he cried.

"Mattie, it's okay. It's going to be okay. I'll be bringing Papa home this Christmas, you'll see." Matthew shook his head more.

"No! It's not going to be okay. Face reality like with a fucking brain and open your fucking eyes Alfred. Papa is NEVER coming back. Ever." The taller brother was surprised. Usually, Matthew never cursed and he was so strong-willed and determined, but he'd lost all hope. Matthew had started to shake when he saw the way Alfred was looking at him.

"What is it?"

"How can you just say that? If there was anyone in this house that loved Papa more than anything it was you! After all those years of carrying that stuffed polar bear around all the time before AND after Papa left, how can you say that?" Matthew clutched Kumajiro to his chest. His brother may be an idiot but sometimes he managed to be right.

"Look, I know that I would never be saying this but it's time to face facts brother. Papa isn't coming back, that traitor turned his back on us. All we have now are our memories of Papa and we just have to live with that. I have to move on and sort of read the atmosphere. You have to do the same thing." With that, Matthew fell silent.

"Why the hell is everyone reading that book but me?"

"It's not a book you moron. It's a saying." The smaller one left the room, leaving his brother sitting there on the bed, confused. Arthur... Alfred's mind seethed with anger.

Alfred ran out of his room to find Arthur who was drinking a bottle of scotch. Before he knew it, his anger got the best of him and he smashed the bottle on the ground and slapped Arthur. The older blond was stunned for a bit and looked at his son who seethed with anger.

"What's wrong Alfred? Look, I know you want me to quit and I promise I'll start working on it tomorrow." Alfred scoffed.

"I could give two shits whether you quit being such a drinker or not, I want to know what the fuck you did to my brother!"

"Watch your language and tone of voice young man!" Arthur shouted.

"Not until you tell me why Mattie said that Papa was a traitor and he turned his back on us! Why did he say that?! Why?" Arthur groaned as he rolled his eyes and rubbed his head.

"Your 'Papa' again? Alfred, you are going to have to accept that fact that he's never coming back again. Why don't we just stop talking about him now, shall we?" Arthur's trying to change the subject, but this is something Alfred won't let fly by this time.

"What did Papa do to deserve your hate Dad? What did he do?" Arthur let out a sigh as he pulled up a chair.

"Papa cheated on me Alfred. I couldn't take it anymore just knowing and I had to kick him out. You have to understand, while he didn't really hurt you and your brother he hurt me and turned his back on us. I didn't want to live with the pain nor did I want you to live with the lie of false love between me and your father." Alfred couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. Papa wouldn't do that. Papa would never have cheated on Dad. He started to heavily breathe and soon tears began to fall out of his eyes and when Arthur reached to hug him, Alfred pushed him away.

"No! You're lying so me and Matthew would have an excuse to never talk about Papa anymore! Don't you care you heartless bastard! Why are you lying?!"

"First off you will watch your tone in this household young man and secondly, it's the truth! I didn't want you two to grow up with a lie! You have to understand! I wanted the best for you!"

"Ha!" Alfred scoffed, "Since when did you want what was best for us? Ever since Papa left you became nothing but a train wreck! You became a heavy drinker, you turned cold and heartless, you practically leave us to fend for ourselves when you leave for work or the bar on the weekends! How does that sound like you wanted what was best for me and my brother! It sounds like a broken mess escaping from two responsibilities he was too busy getting drunk to care for!"

"Go up to your room right now! I will deal with you at a later time, just get the fuck out of my sight!"

Alfred flipped the bird to Arthur before going up the stairs and back to his room which he slammed the door so loudly and with such force it was probably heard from around the world. The Brit muttered a string of swears to himself as he cleaned up the glass. Once he was finished he threw the dust pan to the ground and heavily sighed.

"Matthew, darling, it's okay to come out. I know you're hiding." Matthew came out of the spot he was hiding in and looked down to the floor and away from his father's gaze. Arthur sighed and pulled his son into a hug.

"Were you lying to me when you told why Papa left? Were you just brainwashing me so I would have an excuse to never mention Papa anymore?" Matthew flinched when the word 'Papa' came out of his mouth.

"No sweetheart. In all honesty, I thought you'd react like Alfred. Just because I don't really care for him now, it doesn't mean you should hate him. Now let's stop talking about that man shall we?" Matthew reluctantly nodded against his father's shoulder and was instantly let go. Why? If Papa loved Dad so much then why did he cheat? If he loved me and Alfred so much then how come he never bothered to stay in touch with us? These words wanted to pour out of the boy's mouth so much but they never did. And they never would.

3: The Phone Call

Francis turned over in his bed. He couldn't sleep. Not at all. The memory of leaving his boys with Arthur was all he could see and it haunted him for 9 years. Matthew and Alfred crying, Arthur furious. He couldn't bear it. He was sure Arthur was doing his best to take care of Matthew and Alfred, but he left Arthur with a drinking problem that went unsolved. With a sigh he grabbed his wallet and took out a picture he took of the boys when they were younger.

Matthew was holding his Kumajiro bear and Alfred was holding his toy alien Tony as they were on the swingset. The family had gone to the park for the day since it was summertime and the boys practically begged them to go. He smiled as he remembered the day he took the picture.

Alfred and Matthew ran to the jungle gym as Arthur and Francis took their time walking with smiles on their faces and hands held together. Their boys practically begged them to go to the park. Arthur was against the idea at first knowing what the other parents at the park might say and/or do if they discovered the boys' parentage but Francis was all for the idea. The boys needed to get out of the house and it was hot as hell in that place.

A few people had looked at them watching the boys play and their entwined hands. Some people thought it was cute and walked up to them and complimented on what cute children they had while some other people took their kids and left the park. One old woman even had the nerve to walk up to Alfred and Matthew and tell them bad things which had them crying and Arthur, the one who thought this was a terrible idea, at ready to defend his children.

"That is enough ma'am!" The woman looked at him with disgust in her eyes.

"What? I'm just telling them the truth of what destiny they've got coming to them when they die! How can you and your long-haired fag over there be dragging these innocent boys to hell?! They should be raised with whoever really had them!" Arthur tightened his grip around his sons' shoulders.

"4 years ago the person that had them didn't want anything to do with them and me and my husband were more then happy to give them a home." Arthur had used the lie he and Francis came up with whenever people asked how the boys came to be. They really came to be because Arthur had somehow gotten pregnant.

No one had an explanation or a cause, it just happened. To avoid any sort of confusion or anything, Francis had to dress Arthur as a girl, much to the other's displeasure. When it came time to give birth, they had a home birth planned out. It was risky but Arthur and the twins survived though it caused a bit of alcoholism in Arthur. Francis had enough of watching the show and had to walk in there to defend his family.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't be so mean and hateful to my sons and husband ma'am." Francis said in the nicest tone he could. The woman spat on Francis then walked away receiving praise from a couple people but getting some hate from everyone else. The Frenchman picked up one of his wailing sons and tried to calm him down.

"Shh... stop crying little Matthieu. The mean lady is gone now." Matthew tried to calm down but that failed as he kept crying harder.

"That mean lady said mean things to me and Mattie!" Alfred was able to say through his tears as Arthur hugged the child more.

"What kind of things sweetheart?"

"She was saying that we would grow up stupid and saying that we're tainted and going to be like you then going to Hell unless we're taken away from Daddy and Papa! We don't wanna be taken away from Daddy and Papa we love you guys!" Alfred said while he was drying his tears.

"Matthieu, Alfred. Though you do not have a mom and dad like other children do, you have a daddy and papa that love you all the same. You won't turn out like us, who you are going to be when you grow up will only be influenced by the choices you make as you go along in life." The Frenchman said to his sons. They nodded in understanding pretending to grasp what their papa was saying as it was confusing to them.

Francis set Matthew down then he and Alfred resumed playing. Arthur tugged Francis along with him in case any other homo-phobics wanted to talk anymore trash about the way they lived around his babies. The boys were playing on the swings and trying to see who could go up higher but that proved a bit difficult seeing as they were going at a certain height.

The Brit walked over to his sons and gave them a little boost in speed and soon their sons were laughing each time they were going up and coming back down. Francis couldn't help but take a picture after they were done on the swings.

Francis smiled as he closed his wallet and stared up at his ceiling. He wondered if the boys even remembered him. It had been so long since they saw him that he had a sense they forgot. Or maybe they somehow got it through their heads that he was never coming back after that fight. Shit had seriously hit the fan on their family life that day.

He let out a sad sigh as he turned over and tried to go to sleep but that proved difficult when that damn Austrian upstairs wouldn't stop blasting his damn Chopin so loud that everyone in the apartment building must hear it! With a growl, Francis grabbed his table clock before he marched out his apartment and to the Austrian's apartment door and practically banged on it. He kept banging on it until Roderich answered the door with a not amused face.

"What the hell do you want?" Roderich asked like nothing was phasing him about the crazy volume his music was playing at.

"Do you have any idea what time it is in the morning here in America?! It's 3:19 in the morning and you're keeping the apartment building up by blasting that Godforsaken Chopin again and I'm sure Elizabeta would agree with me!"

"Elizabeta is sound asleep! She likes it when I play my Chopin through the night, it puts her to sleep like a mother's lullaby would a baby. Just come in and look at her peacefully sleep." The Austrian said dragging Francis inside. Okay, watching someone else's girlfriend is PERFECTLY normal. Nope, nothing wrong with it. He thought as he was watching Elizabeta sleep like nothing was bothering her. Francis took this little opportunity to reach into her ears and take out the earplugs he had a feeling would be there. Almost immediately, Elizabeta woke up with a shout.

"RODERICH TURN THE DAMN CHOPIN OFF BEFORE I CHOP IT OFF!" She screamed over the music. Roderich quickly went to his speakers and turned the Chopin off and came back in like ten seconds. Francis laughed at the situation and gave the earplugs back to Elizabeta before walking for the door with a smile on his face.

"Now I can try to catch up on my beauty sleep! Don't try to fight over something so trivial you two crazy lovebirds."

"You should have tried to follow your own advice before cheating on your husband and having to leave your children after that fight." Roderich said before getting punched in the shoulder by Elizabeta and Francis paused in his step. He really could have done without Roderich mentioning that. He curled his hand into a tight fist.

"I didn't mean to cheat on him. I've tried to tell him many times but he never picks up the phone. It was just a mistake I have to live with. I'm sorry for bothering you two." Elizabeta felt bad for the guy. When he first moved in he had some tears in his eyes and when she'd asked him why he was crying he told her what happened. She had cried a little herself because it was a sad story.

Francis returned to his apartment with some of his feelings hurt. Just when he was in a good mood too. There were times he absolutely hated living in this damn building but this was the only decent apartment he could even afford. With a troubling sigh he fell asleep.

In the next few hours, he woke up to see a pair of green eyes staring back at him. Feeling scared, he jumped up and let out a (manly) scream as he fell to the floor. A mad howl of laughter as heard as he groaned and looked to see his best friend, Antonio, clutching his sides.

"Not even funny mon ami. How and why did you even come here anyways?" Francis asked in a confused state because he was sure he locked the door when he came back to the apartment. He must have forgotten to put the alarm on.

"I have a spare key to your apartment remember? Besides, I hacked your alarm system too."

"That answers the how, but it doesn't answer the why." Antonio smacked his forehead as some sort of way to say that he remembered why he was there.

"Elizabeta called and asked me to come cheer you up because when you left her apartment, you looked a little sad. What happened amigo?"

"Roderich brought up the fact that I cheated on my husband and had to leave him and my kids. I should probably call and see how he and the boys are doing." He reached for his phone but Antonio's hand stopped him before he could grab it.

"No no no. You shouldn't call. He never answered your calls then and I can almost guarantee Arthur not answering you now." Francis ignored him and picked up his phone anyways and dialed his ex-lover's number. The phone rang a few times before it was picked up.

"What the hell do you want you damn frog?"

"I just wanted to check up on you and the boys. I was thinking about you three last night. How are the boys doing? Do they remember me at all?" A short silence that seemed like hours of silence was heard on the other end of the line.

"Yes. They still remember you. Even after all this time I don't understand how they ever did." Francis was delighted to hear that. When he can get Arthur to let him see them, they would actually remember.

"Now come on man, there has to be a reason why you called me other than that hmm?"

"Oui, do you think maybe I can come over and visit Matthieu and Alfred? I haven't seen them since they were five and I'm sure that they'l bee happy to see me again." There. He said it. Another long pause sounded and some voices were heard in the background who he guessed might have been the TV going. Finally, Arthur let out an angry sigh.

"No."

"What?"

"I said no Francis. Look, yesterday I told the boys why I had you leave. Matthew, he doesn't really know what to think of you anymore and Alfred, he was denying that I was telling the truth. I don't think you should see them anyways."

"I have a right to see my children Arthur!" Francis snapped. Why shouldn't he be allowed to see his kids?! He practically raised those boys for five years.

"I know you do, but now certainly isn't a good time to visit. The boys just found out why I had Papa leave and I lost my job yesterday and I'm trying to look for another one. Besides, I don't want them to pretend like they actually enjoyed your visit like I would pretend."

"I practically raised those boys while you were out at work or getting drunk! I deserve to see them! Why won't you let me see them?"

"I don't want them to have to face the man that practically turn his back on his sons! Need I remind you who's been taking care of your boys since you left?! You know what you can sit there and pretend that your father of the fucking year all you want but you were apart of those two lives for only five years. Goodbye and don't fucking call me again unless it's important!" With that, an angry British man hung up on the phone. Francis growled as he hung his own head in regret.

Meanwhile Arthur was pissed. After all those years, that douche calls again? He was still never going to let that bastard near him again. Not with how things are now. He groaned as he put his head in his hands.

"I know you two were listening, come on out now." Matthew and Alfred came out of their hiding spots and stared at their father. The last time they saw him that pissed was the day Papa left.

"Who was on the phone Dad?" Alfred asked. Arthur looked at his sons who both had equal looks of confusion on their faces.

"No one important boys. Don't worry about it. It's breakfast time right? What do you guys want me to make you?"

"I'm not hungry." Matthew said retreating to his and Alfred's room and Alfred had followed him. Maybe he should have asked that frog if he could come and help out but then he'd find himself falling in love with him all over again. He started to cry at the memories of being in love with him.

"Francis stop! It tickles!" Arthur laughed as Francis placed feather light kisses that tickled all over his stomach. They'd just found out through a little test that Arthur was pregnant. After the confusion of how it was possible passed, Francis spun Arthur around until he was dizzy. The Frenchman laughed as he kissed his lover again.

"I can't help myself! We're going to be parents Arthur! I'm so excited!"

"Calm down, we have a little while until our little treasure is born. I don't know if I'll be a good father or not." They kissed again and then Francis cupped his lover's cheek.

"When our treasure is born, you will be an excellent Daddy and I'll be a good Papa."

Arthur chuckled, "Already deciding on what the baby is going to call us?"

Arthur sighed as he went upstairs to his sons room and saw the brothers had fallen back asleep. He smiled as he kissed both of their foreheads. As much as a prick he could be, he still loved his sons.

"Have sweet dreams my little treasures. Though it may not seem like it with how I act, I love you and nothing will change that." With that, he walked out of the room.

4: You think YOU Have Problems?

Waking up a few hours later, Matthew saw Alfred still asleep with spit coming out of his mouth. He chuckled then went downstairs and to the living room to see Arthur looking through the photo album. He walked in quietly and decided to reminisce with dear old Dad. Getting on his knees, Matthew started to grab some pictures and found the last photo they took when Papa was still here.

Alfred was sitting on Arthur's lap holding up those cheesy peace signs while Arthur was trying to get his arms down so he could actually look decent in the picture. Matthew was in Francis' lap holding his Kumajiro bear and looking at the camera shyly while Francis was only paying attention to the camera. Once the camera flashed, Alfred had run out of Arthur's lap while the older gentleman chased the boy around the house.

He chuckled a bit at the photo and almost gave Arthur a heart attack.

"Matthew, don't scare me like that! Damn near gave me a heart attack."

"Oh my gosh Dad, fail." Arthur ruffled his son's hair a bit.

"You were always so quiet Matthew, you always make people feel like there's a ghost in the room. What picture do you have in your hand there?" Arthur gently took the picture out of Matthew's hands and stared at it a bit.

"I remember this. It was the last family picture we took with your father." A frown came on his face as a tear slip out of his eye. That bastard. Why he ever loved him in the first place he would never know. With a heavy heart and no second thought to what he was doing, Arthur tore the picture in half.

Matthew sat there with wide eyes. He tore the last family photo they took. How could he just tear up that memory? Sure Matthew had mixed feelings about Papa now but he still cared for the man no doubt. The two halves fell to the ground like feathers as Arthur looked at them with lifeless eyes filled with sadness and depression.

Sensing the mood coming off his father, Matthew went to place his hand on his shoulder but Dad smacked it away.

"Don't touch me." Then Arthur stood up and gave Matthew some money then grabbed his shoes and jacket.

"I'm going to be out for the night. Be a good boy and make sure your brother doesn't act like an idiot and destroy things again. And use that money to order a pizza or Chinese food." With that, Arthur left and slammed the door.

Alfred walked downstairs and saw Matthew staring at the door. Curiously he walked up to his brother and took the money out of his hands.

"Where'd you get the money?" Matthew was snapped out of whatever daydream he was in and looked at Alfred who was waving the money around. With a snort he took the money back.

"Dad's gonna be out for the night and he gave us money for dinner. What you want? Chinese or pizza?" Alfred sighed. Dad's probably at the nearest bar getting drunk... He thought as he grabbed some of the pizza menus he received through the mail and grabbed the one he was looking for. Matthew gave a little chuckle as he took the menu from his brother.

"Vargas Villa Pizzeria? Are you just ordering from here so that Feliciano can deliver it to our place and you can flirt with him?" Alfred blushed a bit and scratched the back of his head. It wasn't a secret that Alfred liked him but everyone just HAS to make the joke that he and Natalia are a thing.

"I can't help it if I like Feliciano! He's just so cute and those eyes, Mattie, those eyes! I can't help it. Wanna just go down there and hang out?" Matthew nodded and grabbed his jacket and shoes like Alfred and the twins were out and walking to Vargas Villa Pizzeria. It was convenient for them since they lived on a main street so they could easily walk into town.

They finally got to the pizza place just in time to see Lovino heading out muttering a string of swears in a pizza slice costume. Alfred and Matthew suppressed their urge to laugh as Lovino flipped them off. One of them would have taken a photo but that would not be cool. Finally, they just busted out laughing as the Italian growled more.

"Hey hamburger-loving bastard! If you're just here to see my brother then just go in there, he's sitting in a booth with that damn otaku, the freaky cat lover and both of the potato bastards." Alfred stumbled in laughing while Matthew stayed outside with Lovino who was steaming mad.

"What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you have gone inside with your idiota brother laughing at me?"

"I should have but you looked like you needed the company. Why are you in a pizza costume anyways?"

Lovino groaned. "My grandfather made me do this to see if we could attract more customers. I only have to stay out here until I get rid of all these fucking menus." Matthew chuckled a bit as he took half of the menus from the Italian who looked at him with a questioning eye.

"I'll help you. Besides, you look like you don't want to be in that pizza costume for long." Lovino blushed a bit as he and Matthew started to try advertising while Alfred joined Feliciano and the others inside.

Feliciano instantly ran to Alfred hugging him. The other four at the table were just staring until Feliciano let him go. Blushing furiously at what he'd just did, and let out a nervous laugh.

"Ve... um... nice to see you Alfred." Feliciano stammered with a little smile on his face. Alfred chuckled a bit then he and Feliciano walked over to the table.

"Hey dudes! How's it hanging?"

"Alfred-san, how are you doing?" Kiku said trying to be as polite as possible.

"I'm well. So, anyone want to explain why Lovino's outside in a pizza costume?"

"One of the usual people would be in the costume but he skipped out tonight so he made Lovino get in the costume. It's all apart of some little get more customers idea Grandpa has!" Feliciano explained with his innocent smile still on his face. Romulus came out of the back room with a little bit of dough on his face and a pizza box then set it in front of Feliciano.

"Feli, you have a delivery. Address is on the box." Then Romulis stopped to look at Alfred then a warm smile came on his face.

"Alfred! It is good to see you! How is your family? Are your father and brother well?"

"They're fine Mr. Vargas." What Alfred really wanted to say was, My dad is a fucking drunk that constantly goes out and my brother is still as quiet as usual. What did you do to your hair? Romulus pat his head with a gentle smile.

"I'm afraid little Feli can't stay much longer, he has a delivery to make." Feliciano got out of the booth and Alfred, not wanting to miss out on a chance to be alone with him, got up too.

"Um, Feliciano, would you mind if I came with you?" Feliciano smiled and grabbed his hand and out the door they were. They were walking to the destination when Feliciano started to shiver. Alfred noticed this and took his own jacket off and placed it on Feliciano's shoulders. The Italian was a bit suprised but Alfred had blushed a bit.

"You looked like you needed it more than I did." Feli smiled as they got to the house and Alfred rang the door bell. The door opened to reveal a teen their height with brown hair and green eyes.

"Ciao Toris! Did you order this pizza?" The teen known as Toris nodded and handed the money to Feliciano who, in return like he's supposed to, gave Toris the pizza and the latter closed the door. They left and were walking back to the pizza place when Feliciano entwined his hand with Alfred's. Alfred blushed and looked at him but Feliciano kept the smile on his face and stepped closer to Alfred's side.

A small yawn escaped Feliciano's lips as Alfred picked him up bridal style. How can they not see that the way they're acting now is clearly a gateway for them to date. Evryone could see it, why couldn't they? They got back to the pizza place just in time to see Matthew and Romano heading in the pizzeria. Setting him down with a little regret, Alfred and Feliciano went inside the pizzeria.

When they walked inside they saw Lovino getting out of the costume and Matthew ordering a pizza at the counter. Alfred almost forgot why they were there. The pair looked at each other with shy faces. Feliciano kissed Alfred on the cheek then ran to join his friends after he gave Alfred his jacket back. Matthew walked to his brother and chuckled as the to walked out with their dinner.

As they walked through the front door, Alfred took the pizza and went into the kitchen while Matthew set the alarm. When Matthew got to the kitchen, Alfred had already gotten out plates and a couple slices for himself. The blond sat down at the table and got a slice for himself. All was silent for a couple minutes before Matthew asked,

"Did you and Feliciano make it official?" Alfred nearly chocked on his pizza but swallowed as he calmed down a bit. Matthew was still waiting for an answer and Alfred was taking too long with it.

"No. I don't know how I can make it official with him. I might ask him at the Halloween Dance. He's so into me Mattie! He even kissed my cheek! Normally he'd be kissing that damn Ludwig's cheek, but no, this time, the kiss was MINE! ALL MINE!" Matthew chuckled as his thoughts traveled back to earlier with Arthur. The thought he actually tore that picture. One of the best moments of his life, torn in half then dropped to the ground like nothing. Alfred caught onto his brother's mood quickly and wiped some of his hair out of his eyes.

"What's wrong Mattie? Didn't get to kiss Lovino?"

"It's not that, it's something else." Alfred didn't have a clue but urged his brother to continue on. "Remember the last family photo we had when Papa was still here? When I woke up I saw Dad going through old photos and I decided to go through too and found that photo. Dad looked at it for a bit before he tore it in half and dropped the pieces like nothing. I tried to put my hand on his shoulder but he smacked it away and gave me money for food. I could tell he was mad by the way he slammed the door and drove out of the driveway." Alfred could feel anger flare up when he heard what their father had done.

"That bastard!" Alfred said earning a sigh from Matthew.

"Maybe Dad had his reasons. We never know what runs through his mind 24/7."

"I think I have an idea. Booze. That's all." Alfred said as he walked out the room leaving Matthew wondering why. Why does Alfred always have to say stuff like this about Dad?

Arthur was at the bar staring down at his glass of whiskey. He contemplated what his life was up until now. One son so quiet you'd think he's a mute. Another disrespecting him at every given moment. And to top it all off, he and his husband were legally separated. He looked down at the ring he was wearing. Why do I even keep this thing on? He thought as he put it in his pocket. One of his drinking buddies caught the mood.

"Did you have a rough day Arthur?" His buddy asked as Arthur scoffed a bit.

"What's it to you Yao?" Yao put his hands up in a way as if a cop had entered the bar and pulled the gun out over a misunderstanding.

"I was just seeing if you're okay. Family trouble again? Or are you still mopping over the 99th job loss?"

"That job was shit. But, I guess you could say family trouble is bothering me." At that moment, Yao ordered two beers for him and Arthur.

"Let it out my child." He said passing the beer to Arthur who took it with an almost trembling hand.

"I guess my problems really start when I found out my husband cheated on me! I kicked him out for good reason but then I have to waver the responsibility of taking care of car insurance, a mortgage, cooking, cleaning, laundry, managing to hold down a decent job long enough to by some useless crap and, to put the icing on the fucking cake, one disrepectful loud-mouthed son who fucking shoots me down at every fucking opprotune moment and another one who is like a fucking ghost because he's too much of a pansy to fucking talk! On top of all that, I don't have any FUCKING help!" Arthur slurred as the alcohol slowly started to take effect on him. Yao starred at him.

"Stop complaining! At least you still get to see your sons each and everyday! I barely get to see mine as it is..." Yao said as he drank a little.

"Why do you say that?"

"Things aren't going great for me. My ex-wife isn't letting me see my sons and daughter. She says I'm not worthy of visiting my children, who I helped in creating, because I'm a coward. When things were obiously going bad in our relationship when we were married, she goes and says that I was too scared to divorce her! I only stayed with her because I wanted things to get better which is why I tried to get us into couples therapy but she wouldn't go through with it. Was I a coward for just trying to keep all six of us together as a family?" Yao cried. Arthur didn't know how bad Yao had it. Sure he'd known he'd been having a rough time recently but he didn't know it was like this.

"You aren't a coward. Yao, you had a family you loved dearly and you tried to keep it together no matter what but then your ex didn't want that and broke it up. If you really want to see your children then take her to court for visitation rights."

"If I CAN! She's telling them bad things about me, I can tell. Telliing Im Young Soo, Li Xiao Chun, Kiku, and Xiao Mei that I have a drinking problem and telling them lies about the time they were younger! When I tried to talk to Kiku when I saw him one day he just pretended not to know me and walked away."

"I'd say just at least try to open up to at least one of them. Which one loved you the most?" Yao chuckled at that a little.

"I really can't say which one because all four of them loved me. I remember when they were younger they'd always play a game called 'Who does Daddy love more?' It was really cute when they played because they would always try to one-up each other. But then I had to say that I loved all four of them equally so I never picked my favorite." Yao had a slight flashback of the last time they played that game.

"Daddy!" Four voices shouted as Yao looked up from his newspaper and looked at his four children. He smiled as he put his newspaper down. If there was one thing Yao loved more than anythiing in the world it was his family and he's do anythiing to make sure they're happy.

"What do you need?"

"We want to play 'Who does Daddy love the most!'" Xiao Mei said jumping up in the air. Yao almost died of laughter when they played this game. Li Xiao Chun went first.

"Daddy loves me the most because I cook breakfast for everyone when I wake up first!"

"Nu-uh!" said Im Young Soo, "Daddy loves me the most because I haven't fought with anyone in a while!" If there was one thing Yao was happy about is that one of his sons hasn't fought in a while.

"You're wrong! Daddy loves ME the most because I eat my veggies like a good big girl does!"

"You're wrong sister! Daddy loves me the most because I do all of my homework and I help him out when he needs it!" That lead to some bickering between the four. Yao had to step in again.

"Now now you guys. Daddy doesn't have favorites because I love you four and your mother all the same." They all nodded, but Kiku looked a little bit sad.

"Do you really love Mommy? We heard you two yelling at each other last night." Yao sighed a little.

"Kiku, no matter what me and your mother say to each other, I still love her though it doesn't seem like it. Remember that no matter what happens and whether you like it or not, I'm still going to be there and I'm your father" At the moment, Lin walked in and sttod in the doorway.

"Yao... I have to talk to you."

The flashback ended there. Yao couldn't bear to go even farther in that flashback. While Arthur can complain, he really didn't know what he had. Yao stood up and paid his tab.

"Arthur, while you can complain about how your life is now and your your kids are, you really have no idea how lucky you really are." And with that, Yao left the bar and left Arthur to think for a bit. Maybe he WAS lucky and didn't know it. That night Arthur had to spend the night in the back room of the bar because the owner wouldn't let him drive drunk which was a really good idea.

May I am lucky and I just don't know it. He thought as he fell asleep.

5: Who Knows?

The next morning, Arthur woke up with a hangover and had to take two aspirin. He almost forgot what happened last night but then he remembered. After leaving Matthew and Alfred alone at home for the night, he went to the bar, he and Yao talked, then he got too drunk to drive home and had to spend the night in the back room.

"God my head hurts..." He complained as he got his coat and left the bar. As he was driving home he couldn't help but think what Yao said last night. Just maybe, he might be lucky. No. He's got a lot of crap going on before he could even consider himself lucky. When he got home, Matthew and Alfred were just leaving the house. Arthur had forgotten that they had school today and got out of the car to stop them.

"Hey boys, do you want me to drive you to school?"

"No thanks Dad, we're fine walking. We got up this early so we could walk knowing you'd be a little too hung over to drive us." Was Alfred's snappy comeback. Arthur could have said something but he would have made a scene that could have involved police. And he didn't want to make them late. Instead he just walked past them and went inside the house.

Matthew flinched when he heard the door slam. As he and Alfred kept walking, he started to think about what could have happened to Arthur last night. He did seem really upset about something. Letting out a sigh, Matthew walked a little faster to catch up with Alfred.

"Hey Alfred?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think maybe you could stop being such a douche bag to Dad?" He bluntly asked. Though Matthew could have been nicer about it, it had to be asked. Alfred stopped in his tracks and looked at Matthew.

"You think I'm a douchebag?"

"To Dad. You're always insulting him and calling him a drunk bastard." He answered.

"It's the truth! Look, we're gonna be late for school if we don't pick up the pace." With that, Alfred was walking faster than you could say "Wait up dummy!" What the quiet blond could grasp was why. Why does Alfred say all of that stuff to Dad? That was something he wondered all the way to school.

When they got there, they saw Vash and Natalya sitting under the tree and flirting with each other like usual. Those two are so right for each other... Matthew thought as he walked up to Gilbert. The albino was talking to his pet bird, Gilbird, and Matthew couldn't help but laugh a little as he snuck up on him. Gilbert jumped ten feet in the air and stared at Matthew who was laughing so hard he was almost dying.

"Don't scare me like that Mattie!" Matthew had gotten his breathing under control before Gilbird started flying around him.

"Gilbird appreciates it! Don't you Gilbird?" Gilbird chirped in response as he flew on Gilbert's head. Matthew laughed when the German flipped him off.

"How was your weekend?"

"Good, I guess. How was your German Sparkle Party?" Gilbert choked on his own spit and looked at Matthew with surprised eyes.

"Oh God... Don't make me remember what happened man! That party was unawesome!"

"Do I wanna know?"

"No you do not. Let's just say it involved me almost getting in a fight with my brother and some Austrian chick kicked my ass." Matthew chuckled as he wondered where Alfred could be.

Alfred was at his locker putting some books away when a hand went on his shoulder. He turned around to see Feliciano with wide brown eyes and a blush across his face. Feeling a blush come across his face, Alfred coughed a little.

"Hey Feliciano. What brings you here?" The teen asked as Feliciano played with one of the strings of his jacket.

"I um... wanted to... ask you something.."

"Sure, go ahead."

"Do you have a crush on me?" Feliciano asked practically blurting it out. Alfred took a moment to analyze his question. Had Feliciano been on to him? Alfred sighed as he looked his crush in the eyes. He said he'd confess this later but now was as good a time as any.

"Yes. It's true, I have a crush on you... no. I love you. I've loved you since the first day I met you and I'm crazy about you. I know that it doesn't make too much sense since we barely know anything about each other except for trivial fact, but I know that I love you and that isn't a lie." Feliciano nodded and kissed Alfred for a second and then pulled back.

"Ti amo..." Feliciano said then walked away leaving Alfred confused as hell.

POV CHANGE (Because there was nothing left to do for Matthew and Alfred and because I can)

Francis stared at the blank canvas. He couldn't think of what to paint. This was a terrible case of painter's block he'd been having ever since he called Arthur. With a depressed sigh he got off the stool and stared at his phone, wondering what he should do. Francis had been thinking about calling Arthur again.

He picked up the phone but the put it back down. Unless he wanted the call to end up like it was last time, he shouldn't take chances and call. Francis was about to walk off again before he heard the phone ring. Knowing it was weird that someone would call, he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Bonnefroy! Where the hell are you?!" An angry person on the other end of the line. Francis recognized that voice way too well. His boss.

"Sorry sir! I lost track of time, it's just a lot of stuff has been on my mind at the moment! I'll be at work right away!"

"No! This is the last time I have to call like this, you're fired!" And then his boss hung up. Francis put the phone back on the hook and muttered a string of curses as he went back in front of his canvas and started to sketch what he was going to draw. He thought a picture of his old boss drowning in the flames of Hell would be a great painting.

Francis got to work painting away as his front door opened and in came Antonio yet again. Knowing his friend entered the door, without permission, he put his pencil down and glared at him a little. Antonio was oblivious to the glare as he was whistling away doing God knows what. When he finally caught on to the glare, he stopped and scratched the back of his head.

"What's wrong mi amigo?"

"How the fuck do you keep getting into my apartment?!" Francis asked/shouted. Seriously, how DID Antonio keep getting into his apartment?

"One, I hack that alarm system you got installed. Two, I made a copy of your key yesterday while you were depressed." Francis rolled his eyes as he lit a cigarette. He wasn't in that much of a great mood to be messed around with today. He was still sour about that phone call with Arthur and he just got fired from his job.

If there was one thing Francis couldn't get was why? Why couldn't he see his sons? He was a good person. He took care of those boys when Arthur was at work and when he was at the bar getting hammered. As he took a drag from his cigarette, he looked out the window while ignoring his friend. He looked at the clouds going by and immediately thought about how Alfred would point out what each one looked like.

A tear came to his eye when he started to think about Alfred and Matthew. Last time he saw them, they'd been so sad to see him go. He heard Matthew screaming for him, but he drove away and pretended not to hear the voice of a broken five-year old calling out for him. If he could go back and stop himself from cheating on Arthur, he would. Then maybe they'd be a family again.

With a depressed sigh escaping his lips, he went back to his painting sketch and continued to work on it. Antonio caught on to his friend's mood and took a look at the sketch.

"You got fired today, huh?" Antonio asked looking over his friend's shoulder. A growl escaped Francis's mouth as he nodded and sketched faster.

"Damn bastard... I don't know why I wanted to work for him in the first place. He obviously mocked my cooking at every given chance!" He was like an older and more bitter version of Arthur...Francis wanted to say but left it alone as he kept drawing with his inspiration was being driven by anger and depression.

Meanwhile, Arthur was at home watching a football match from England and drinking some gin. He was so pissed right now that he clearly didn't give a fuck. As his home team lost another goal, he took a swig of his gin and yelled at the screen.

"GODDAMMIT! Get your head out of your arse and score a goal! Is that too much to fucking ASK?!" Shit... I really sound like Father right now... Arthur bitterly thought. If there was one gene Arthur couldn't deny that ran in his family, it was alcoholism. With how much he was drinking now, he wouldn't be surprised if Alfred or Matthew got the same problem he had.

He switched the TV off, deciding he had enough of the game. With a sigh, he stared down at the floor since there was nothing else to do. The picture he tore yesterday caught his eye as he picked up the pieces and started to cry a little. God how he hated looking at that picture. They were so happy and when he thought about the pictures he and the boys take now, that's fake happiness.

Arthur got up from his seat and went to his home office. Sitting down at the desk, he got some tape and taped the picture back together and it looked like nothing had happened to it. He decided to put it in his drawer for safe keeping when a little letter that caused all of his troubles was in there. Picking up the letter, he decided to read it.

Dear Francis,

See? I told you I'd find out where you lived! You have a really nice family, I'll admit, but I know you really aren't happy with that husband of yours! I miss you and what we did that night at your Spanish friend's party, I really want to see you again. Seriously?! How can you have a one-night stand with someone then say you'll call them and just not bother to call! We HAVE each other's numbers for crying out loud! And-

Arthur couldn't stand to read the rest of that letter as he started to tear it up. That was the letter altered his life forever. With the remains of the letter in hand, Arthur decided it was best if he burned them in the fire place. He went to the living room with the torn letter in hand sat on his knees in front of the fire place. The Brit opened the little doors around the chimney and stared at the fire.

"Burn in Hell you sorry pieces of paper!" He bitterly said as he tossed the pieces of paper into the fire. A small came on his face as he watched the paper burn to a crisp.

"Bring on the fire. Bring on the hell. Set everything ablaze so that no trace remains..." Arthur chanted over and over like some sort of mantra as he watched the paper turn into ashes. When he was sure all the pieces had been burned he got up and got on the computer to try looking for a job that would consider hiring him. As he looked, there was nothing that would want to hire him.

He was about to power down his computer when there was an opening that was considering hiring him. Amazed at the opportunity, Arthur clicked on it and looked at when the job description was.

Have a sick imagination? Have perfect grammar skills? Then a job at Norwegian & Icelandic Publishing is for you! Now hiring for an editor! Apply here now!

"This would be an okay job..." Arthur spoke out loud to himself as he started to fill out the application form. When he finished and sent it, he let out a heavy sigh. He really needed a job. Arthur looked at the clock and realized that the boys would be coming home in a few minutes so he got off his computer and started to think about what to make for dinner.

Just as predicted, Alfred burst through the front door and ran up the stairs while Matthew walked in a bit slower and with Gilbert at his side. Gilbert instantly flopped down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table like he owned the damn place. Matthew rolled his eyes as he got Gilbert's feet off the coffee table and sat down next to him.

"What is wrong with you? At least you can still go in the same room as your brother... Ludwig got freaking scary last week..." Gilbert said as his eyes widened a bit.

"For one thing, I don't wanna know what happened on Friday and another thing, I have a fucked up family."

"Why do you say that?"

"Dad and Alfred have been getting into more fights lately and... I don't think I can take it anymore..." For once, Gilbert didn't have anything to say which is quite unusual for him. Matthew rolled up the sleeve to his hoodie to reveal cuts on his arms. Gilbert's eyes widened as he took Matthew's wrists, pulling the blond towards him.

"You said you were going to stop! What happened Mattie?!" The albino said in a harsh whisper. Matthew took his arms back as he pulled down the sleeves. The boy had first started cutting two years ago and has been since.

It was a day when Dad was drunk and he and Alfred were fighting so when they weren't looking, Matthew grabbed a kitchen knife and ran to the bathroom and cut his thigh. He felt so better from that that he kept the knife hidden somewhere in his room and whenever he got sad and needed to cut, he would get the knife and start cutting.

Gilbert found out when Matthew came over to his house one summer day. They were going to get in the pool and that meant Matthew ha to take his pants off, this was before he started cutting his arms. Reluctantly, and hoping Gilbert wasn't watching, he took his pants off and ran into the pool so fast he was like a blur. Once they got out, Matthew forgot to cover his legs and Gilbert saw the cuts.

After much convincing, Matthew spilled his guts out and told Gilbert the truth. Matthew said he'd stop cutting but, since they were like this now, that didn't happen at all. Matthew put his hands on his face and heavily sighed.

"I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to stop, I did, but Dad and Alfred... I couldn't..."

"You need to get help Kirkland! If you don't then you can kill yourself!" Matthew flinched when his last name was used but then looked at his arms.

"I'm beyond ANY sort of help Gilbert. Just drop it okay? I think my dad's in the other room and he might've been listening to our conversation." Gilbert was about to say something but then closed his mouth.

Meanwhile, Alfred was in his room trying to search for Francis yet again. He wanted to prove Matthew wrong and find Papa, but with how today's search is going, he was starting to think his brother was right. Alfred shook his head as he stared at the computer with a determined look with the thought of how his brother's face will look when he sees Papa.

"I have to prove Matthew wrong." He kept chanting over and over like a mantra. Alfred really wanted to prove his brother wrong and find Papa. After two hours of almost dead end searching, he found something that was some sort of clue to where papa might be. Apparently he worked for some company and the company's address was there! Quickly, Alfred copied it down on paper before hiding it in his drawer.

One thing made Alfred stop jumping for joy. He wondered if he should visit Papa at work, assuming he works and lives within reasonable distance, otherwise, he better prepare to run away from home. While Alfred was happy he at LEAST tracked down one thing from his Papa, he wonderd if Francis would really come back.

6: Disaster

It was dinner time in the house again. Alfred slowly walked down the stairs and Matthew practically kicked Gilbert out then joined his family. Just like any other night, everyone was silent. The family ate in silence as no one wanted to say anything. Alfred didn't want to talk about his small vistory, Matthew didn't want to open up about his cutting problem, and Arthur didn't want to say anything about applying for a job. Suddenly, the phone rang and Arthur got up to answer it.

There was some hushed yelling that had the boys curious as they tried to listen closely at the conversation but could get nothing. When Arthur came back, he had his poker face on... which also meant his straight face. He rejoined his sons at the table and started eating his dinner again.

"Who was on the phone?" Matthew asked quietly, trying to start a little conversation. Arthur looked up and then looked back down at his plate.

"It was nothing important. Nothing you should concern yourself with." Was all he said. Alfred, for some reason, wasn't buying any of his father's shit. He knew something was up but didn't press on for any information as he kept eating his dinner. The rest of the dinner was silent as the family of three kept eating.

After dinner, the family went their separate ways. Arthur going into the living room to sulk and shout at the football match whenever his home team screws up, Matthew did his homework and turned in early, and Alfred just played computer games. Nothing too fancy. Alfred kept trying to get how his father acted when Matthew asked who was on the phone.

He shook his head but some part of him couldn't stop thinking that Papa might have called, but Arthur wasn't talking. A sigh left his lips as he turned his computer off and plopped down into bed with his toy alien. Clucthing Tony tightly to his chest, he fell into a dreamless sleep. Meanwhile, Arthur was watching the game with a miserable look on his face. Why did Francis have to call? He bitterly thought as he glared at the phone.

Francis called earlier and that got Arthur in a sour mood. The LAST person he thought he'd ever hear from again. He angrily sighed as he shut the TV off and went to bed. As he started to fall asleep, he started to think about how happy he and Francis were.

"Francis!" Arthur yelled when his French lover literally swooped him off his feet and planted a few kisses on his lips. The Brit couldn't blame him though, he was so happy about finally being married. Francis laughed as he set his 'wife' on the ground.

"I'm so sorry. I'm just happy that we're married, besides, isn't it tradition here in America for a husband to carry his wife over the threshold?" When the young couple couldn't decide where to live after they were officially married, they were suggesting all kinds of countries to live in.

They could have lived in Scotland or Ireland, but Arthur didn't want to be in the same place as his brothers. Then there was the option of living in Germany, but then they'd have to live with Francis' ex-girlfriend who still held a grudge against Arthur. Finally, they settled on America. Francis always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty and be proud that a man he could have been related to had helped make the statue and Arthur had always wanted to check out Broadway so it was a win-win situation.

Arthur facepalmed as he kissed his husband back and kept his head hung low.

"Calm down there. Just because we're American citizens, doesn't mean we actually ARE American."

"I know, but we're married now and when you're married, you do crazy things! Now, why don't we get you out of this dress~" Francis purred in Arthur's ear as he kicked the door closed and started kissing his spouse's face while his hands went under the dress. Arthur moaned at the feeling of his husband's hands and pulled away from him.

"Damn frog..."

Francis laughed, "You love me anyways. Let us break our marriage in a bit, oui?" The reply the Frenchman got was his 'wife' pulling him into a rough kiss by his tie and pulling him to the bed.

Arthur violently shook his head with a slight nosebleed. Out of all the times to remember, why THAT one?! A small knock on the door was heard and then it opened to reveal Matthew holding his Kumajiro bear. He slowly walked in and stopped at the foot of the bed.

"What is it son?" Arthur asked as he got his nose cleaned up.

"I don't feel so good." The teen groaned, clutching his stomach. Arthur went to the bathroom and got something for his son's stomach.

"Take two of these and go to bed. If they don't work then you're going to stay home from school tomorrow." Matthew nodded and walked out of the room but before he left, he said something.

"Whatever you feel, Dad... you can always tell me and Alfred. We'll try to understand or help." And with that, Matthew walked out of the room. The Brist wanted to tell his sons that their father called two times but he didn't know how they'd take the news. Matthew would probably cry and Alfred will probably want to see him again. A sigh escaped his lips as he went to bed and fell asleep.You're wrong Matthew, I can't tell you and your brother...

Francis couldn't sleep. Not only did Arthur hang up the phone, but he didn't get a chance to talk to Alfred or Matthew. He turned over on his bed with a scowl on his face as he blankly stared at the wall. With a growl, he got up and turned the TV on as he hoped that would help him fall asleep. Francis flipped the channel to some late night show. Francis easily fell asleep.

The next morning, Francis was woken up by a violent knocking at the door. Groaning and wiping his hands on his face, he walked to the front door and looked through the peephole and was stunned. It was Arthur! He gulped as he opened the door and there stood Arthur. He was still as Francis remembered. Blond hair in a touselled bed hair sort of look, incredible green eyes, and his eyebrows still looked like fucking caterpillars.

"Arthur... what a lovely surprise. Come in, won't you?" Arthur nodded and walked in as he started to look at what Francis had.

"Look Francis, I'm only going to make this brief, but..." Arthur trailed off as he looked into his ex's eyes.

"But what?"

"I need you to quit calling me. So much is going on for me and the boys right now and I just can't deal with you right now." Francis was stunned to hear this for the third time.

"Arthur Bonnefroy, I DEMAND to see my sons." He said in a demanding tone. Hearing the name 'Bonnefroy' Arthur slapped Francis. Hard.

"Do NOT call me that Godforsaken name ever again! I changed my last name, as well as the boys' last names."

"Wow, the Kirklands down the street, has a beautiful ring to it."

"I changed their names to something different you sarcastic frog! Alfred's last name is Jones and Matthew's last name is Williams. I let the boys pick their last names when we were going through the name changing process." Francis was frozen to hear the news. Not only had Arthur changed his last name, but Alfred's and Matthew's too? Tears filled his eyes as Francis punched a wall.

"What the fuck?! Why couldn't you have told me about this? They're my sons too!" Francis yelled. He was down-right pissed.

"At the time you weren't around so give me an idea of why YOUR fucking opinion would be considered valid in that kind of process!"

"We're married you good for nothing British drunk!"

"Married? Oh please, we haven't said those three little words to each other in almost ten fucking years! We haven't been living together!"

"We'd still be living together is you just let your anger go and left my little affair in the past!"

"I don't have to deal with this shit right now. I'm going to be late for a job interview." Arthur said as he shoved Francis out of his way and walked out of the door before Francis could say anything else. He slammed the door as he put his back to the wall and slid down with his face in his hands. Merde... everytime we talk it ends in yelling and we get nowhere! He thought as he got up and lit a cigarette. Another failed attempt to get close to Arthur.

Meanwhile, Arthur drove to his job interview. He was so mad. All he wanted to do was ask Francis to stop calling him. Just a simple request until Francis had to fuck it up. He growled as he approached a stop light. Arthur put a hand to his forehead as he waited for the light to turn green.

"Calm down man. The sooner you get to this interview the sooner you get home." He repeated to himself over and over. He really wanted to get this job. It payed well, had reasonable hours, and it was more in his area of expertice. When the light turned green, he drove off and to the building he wanted to work at. When he got there, he gulped and walked in the doors. Better now then never.

Matthew was not having a very good day. He had to stay at home because of a raging fever and stomach ache. He got out of bed and went downstairs to heat up some soup like Arthur told him to. As he waited for the soup to be finished in the microwave, he saw the knife he always cut himself with when no one's around. He reached for it but then put his hand down.

Gilbert tried to get Matthew some help for his problem. Everytime the boy tried, he would always go back to the knife. Matthew had been doing good until he couldn't take it anymore. Matthew wanted to scream out what Dad and Alfred's fights did to him. He pretended not to care and live with it but it got too hard to live with it. Something just told him that he would never be able to live with it and to just cope.

The microwave went off but he didn't care as he stared at the knife. He picked it up and then looked around quickly to make sure Arthur wasn't popping out anywhere and lifted up his pant leg to a bunch of cuts. With a sigh, he made one small cut and then cleaned the knofe of evidence and placed it back where it was like nothing happened. Matthew grabbed his food out of the microwave and started to eat just in time for Arthur to get home.

Arthur walked in and as he closed the door behind him, he slid down the door and loosened his tie. He totally bombed that interview. He just knew it. They said they'd call him to let him know but Arthur knew what meant. They weren't gonna call him back. Ever. He didn't get the job. With a sigh he got up and left his spot and went into the kitchen to see Matthew eating his soup at the table.

"Hello Matthew. How are you feeling?" Arthur asked as he sat down at the table with his son.

"I got a bit hungry so I decided to heat something up. How did the job interview go?"

"I don't think I gotthe job. They said they'd call me within a week to let me know, but I know what that means. If I don't get this job, I don't know what I am to do to pay these bills." Matthew sawthis as an opportunity to bring up Papa.

"Maybe you ask Papa if he could help out?" He suggested again. Arthur looked up but, unlike the last time Francis was mentioned, didn't do anything.

"No... I can't ask that from your father. Besides, I don't think he'd want to help out my drunken ass." Then, just like that, Arthur trugged up the stairs and went to his room and cried. Matthew could hear Arthur crying and couldn't help but be a little sad for his father. Ever since Papa left, Arthur had been losing job after job and hasn't been having real good luck lately. He sighed as he put his soup back in the microwave and went to his room and laid down.

Meanwhile, Arthur had been crying into a pillow. Depression had started to creep into his mind. He really shouldn't have went to Francis's apartment. It was just a powdercake waiting to explode in disaster and failure. And it DID explode. With a sigh, he took the paper Francis's adress was on and put it in the drawer in the bedside table. He didn't even want to look at that piece of paper right now. He just wanted to forget today went

7: Escaping Hell

Alfred got home and instantly ran upstairs so he could tell Matthew what happened at school. He was on his way to his room when he heard a sobbing noise and thought it might've been Matthew crying but, it was really Dad crying. He thought about going in and seeing what was wrong but just went to his room anyways. When he got there he saw Matthew on the bed absently staring out the window. An inaudible sigh escaped his lips as he sat on his own bed.

"Was Dad crying like that when he got home or what?" Alfred asked and Matthew knew what he meant. Arthur was sobbing loudly and when that happens, he's most likely been depressed or was drinking then turned into one of those drunks who cries when he/she gets drunk. Matthew sat up and hugged Kumajiro more.

"He got home and talked about how he think he failed the job interview and then he talked about how he doesn't know what to do if he didn't get the job. That led me to mentioning Papa again. Unlike last time, he didn't do anything. He just looked at me and then shook his head saying Papa wouldn't help out a drunken mess like him and then ran up to his room and cried." He explained as he touched his wrist inside his hoodie. When Arthur wasn't looking he went back downstairs and took a knife to cut himself with. The blond cut himself for making Dad cry by mentioning Papa. Alfred noticed and cocked his head to the right.

"Is your wrist okay?" His brother looked up and then hid his hand behind his back so that Alfred wouldn't see some of the blood from the wound.

"Yea. It just got a little itchy, that's all."

That statement sounded like a lie and made Alfred want to say something and call his brother's bullshit but he didn't want to. Besides, he still had to question Dad about that call during dinner last night. He thought it might have been Papa but when they argued the day Francis left, both of them sounded really pissed off at each other so he didn't get his hopes up or anything.

"Alfred, did you hear me?" Alfred was brought out of his thoughts when Matthew called his name. He must have been daydreaming if Matthew was asking if he heard him or not.

"What did you say?"

"Typical." Matthew muttered under his breath, "I asked what happened at school today and if you picked up my homework." Alfred fished in his book bag and took out Matthew's homework.

"You didn't miss too much today." Alfred said with a sigh which obviously meant something since he sighed like that.

"What happened? Did you get to talk to Feliciano?"

"He was avoiding me all damn day and I don't know. All I want to do is find out why he kissed me and if he really likes me or not. That's all I want to know." Ever since Feliciano kissed him, all Alfred wanted to know was why? Why had Feliciano kissed him? Did he really feel the same? A sigh escaped his lips as he thought of what Feliciano's response would be. A thought crossed Matthew's head as he quickly looked at Alfred.

"What about Lovino? Did he say anything to you? Did you remember to ask him if he felt anything for me?" Alfred let out a dry chuckle. Of course, how could he forget that the Italian had practically poured his feelings out on tape.

"He said that he felt the same way. At least YOU get the guy you're after! Meanwhile, it's just confusing for me!"

"Calm down. You can find out tomorrow. For right now, I just want to get my homework done." Alfred opened his mouth to say something but didn't as he got his homework out and started to work on it. As they started to work on it, Arthur came in the room.

"Hey boys, I'm going to be out for a little bit, I have to get things for dinner tonight, do you want me to bring anything back for you?"

"You're going to cook tonight? Seriously?" Alfred asked.

"It isn't healthy to have take-out every night Alfred, you have to have a nicely home cooked meal."

"I get where you're coming from, Dad, I really do, but I don't want my cause of death to be by your shitty cooking." Arthur stomped his foot on the ground and turned furious.

"Excuse me! Who the fuck do you think you are talking to Alfred?! This is NOT how you treat your elders young man! Now apologize right now!" He yelled at his son. Alfred said something so quiet no one, not even Matthew, could hear.

"What was that?" Arthur asked.

"FUCK NO! I've been practically living like a fucking adult every time you've left me in charge of the house ever since I was nine-fucking-years old! I can cook better than you can! You and everyone else in England may pass your shit off as cooking but not to me and everyone else who still has their fucking taste buds after eating your cooking!" Alfred yelled.

Matthew had slipped out of the room somewhere during that point, with his knife, and retreated to the bathroom so he could wait out the fight. As he heard them yelling at each other, he cut himself as he cried. He hated this. He fucking hated this. Dad and Alfred fighting like crazy. What ever happened to those times when he was a child? They were dead. Just illusions. That was what happiness was to Matthew, a huge illusion.

A slap rang out and that made Matthew quickly clean himself up and run back to his room. The sight he came back to was way too much. Alfred had a red hand print on his face and Arthur had his hand drawn out in a motion like after someone was slapped. The younger of the two glared at Arthur and punched him back. Soon, a fight rang out between the two. Matthew kept shaking his head as they fought. He had to do something. All emotion had just built up inside him and he just yelled.

"STOP FIGHTING! Just stop!" He yelled as loud as he could capturing both Arthur and Alfred's attention. They looked at Matthew with surprised looks on their faces.

"Is there something you want to say Matthew?" Arthur asked getting away from Alfred and trying to comfort Matthew but only to be rejected.

"NO! Everytime you go back to your caring father crap after arguing with Alfred, you just turn as cold as ice again! I want to be happy again! Is that all too much to ask for in this house?! You two just fight and pretend that I'm not here anymore!" Matthew cried and grabbed his bear and shoes and ran out of the house. He heard his father and brother calling for him and chasing after him but he didn't care. He wanted to get out of wanted to be away from them.

Matthew kept running until he was in town. Thinking that they lost sight of him, the boy rested in an alleyway. It might have been starting to get cold, but one thing he knew was he was away from the fighting. He was away from it all. Away from Dad's cooking. Away from their fights. He basically escaped Hell. But one thing he didn't think over was who he left.

He left Dad. He left Alfred. He left Gilbert. He left Lovino. A shaky sigh escaped from his mouth as he laid down and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Alfred were hopeless. They couldn't keep up with Matthew. He was just way too fast. When they walked back home, they started to talk.

"I'd ask for an apology and reciprocate but we'll just do the same thing later. What's the point in doing so, hm?"

"I agree, Dad. We may never see Mattie again. Just like Papa." Arthur wanted to say something but kept himself from doing so.

"We're going to see your brother again. Papa was someone who I let slip between my fingers, but your brother. I'm not losing him either. We'll find him." Alfred found that a little hard to believe.

He knew his brother all too well. Matthew wouldn't be able to survive out there alone, he could get killed or kidnapped. They walked back home and Alfred immediately went to the living room couch and cried. Arthur did what he thought was right and comforted his son, who actually didn't reject him. He patted his back and tried to calm him down like a parent would their toddler.

"Shh... it's okay. It's going to be okay." Arthur said over and over, fighting the urge to cry himself. He was so disgusted with himself. He was the reason one of his babies left.

Eventually, the crying teenager cried himself to sleep leading Arthur to do patch up his son's wounds for him in his sleep. When he went upstairs to get the medical kit he thought he saw a knife on the bathroom floor and some blood. He shook his head and, with the first aid kit in hand, left the bathroom. It was probably him just seeing things again.

After he got to his son and patched up some of the marks from their fight, he got a blanket and draped it over his son and removed his glasses. He smiled a little as he was reminded of when he was a little kid. Such a cute child. Arthur wiped some hair from Alfred's face.

"Goodnight, Alfred. Even though it doesn't seem like it, I love you and I care about you a lot." And with that, he kissed Alfred's cheek and was about to leave when Alfred grabbed his sleeve.

"Stay here until I fall asleep?" This surprised Arthur a lot. Normally, it would be 'Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep!' He let out a sad smile and sat back down.

"Of course."

Antonio had been walking down the street to his own apartment when he heard a small teeth chattering noise. He followed it to a figure in a hoodie, pajama pants, and a pair of boots holding a stuffed polar bear. He walked up to the figure and saw that it looked like a runaway teenage boy trying to sleep. He placed a hand on the boy's shoulder which triggered a response in which the boy jolted up and looked at the man.

"W-Who are y-y-y-you?" The boy asked.

"My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. What are you doing out here all by yourself? Shouldn't you be at home with your family?" The boy's eyes flashed a certain sadness when the word 'family' was mentioned. He shook his head.

"No. I ran away from my family. They were always fighting on an almost daily basis and I was always caught in the crossfire of it. I couldn't take it anymore so I just ran and I'm never going back!" Antonio looked at the boy. He really looked like a good kid. Whoever his family was really needed to fucking learn to get along better. For the kid's sake at least.

"What is your name?"

"Matthew."

"Well then, Matthew. I don't want to sound like some 30-year old pervert or the cradle robber type but do you want to stay somewhere warm? I have a lot of good food at my home. You can stay there until you feel like you want to go back home." Antonio offered. He knew that Matthew's answer would most likely be a no, but he wanted to ask anyways. After a while, Matthew nodded and stood up.

"Okay. But only until I wanna go back home." Antonio smiled and led Matthew to his apartment which was just a pretty basic one. Nothing too lame, nothing too fancy. And it had many Spanish flags everywhere to which Matthew guessed that Antonio was originally from Spain.

"You have a nice apartment." He complimented. The Spaniard smiled and patted the boy's head.

"Thank you. Now go and sit down in the kitchen while I heat up some enchiladas." Matthew nodded and did as he was told and sat in the kitchen as Antonio heated up the food like he said. As he was waiting for the food to be finished, he couldn't help but sneak a couple glances to Matthew's wrists. They look like they's been cut. The microwave beeped and he got out the food.

"As a friend of mine would say; Bon appetite!" He said as he placed the enchiladas in front of Matthew. That almost made the teen start to cry. That was Francis' line when he'd give him and Alfred their dinner every night. Maybe this guy knew Papa? No. Impossible. He tossed the thought aside as he grabbed the fork and started to eat his dinner. There was silence between them until Antonio started to ask questions.

"So, how did you get those marks on your wrists?" Matthew scolded himself for not covering his wrists more properly before leaving home. He knew someone was going to ask later, but had discarded the fact thinking no one would actually find him.

"I got into a lot of accidents." Was the boy's lie. Antonio saw right through it. He knows he should press further until he gets the truth about whether his family fighting caused him to self harm or not but, the poor kid had a long day! He just ran away from home probably hours ago or even a day! When they finished their meal, Antonio showed him to the guest bedroom.

"It's not much, but you've at least got a nice bed to sleep on."

"Thank you." Matthew said as he hugged Antonio and walked into his new room. He instantly got under the covers and started to think. This is what his new life was. Staying with a kind stranger who didn't know who the hell each other were and living the rest of his life in anonymity? He was okay with it. As long as he wasn't near Arthur or Alfred, he was fine. He fell asleep wondering what life will have in store for him.

8: A Day After the Escape

Matthew woke up expecting everything that happened the previous night to be a dream. He thought running away from Dad and Alfred's fighting was a dream, he thought falling asleep in an alleyway was a dream, he thought meeting Antonio was a dream, he thought staying in some stranger's guest room was a dream. Just everything that happened last night was a horrible dream. But it wasn't.

He really ran away from home. Dad and Alfred really did fight. He really did fall asleep in an alleyway. He really did meet Antonio. He really did sleep in some stranger's guest room. A sigh escaped his lips as he got out of bed and went to the living room just in time to see Antonio put breakfast on the table and put on a suit jacket. Said man looked over and smiled as he went to Matthew and sat him down at the table.

"I'm about to go to work so you're going to be on your own for a few hours. If anyone knocks on the door then look through the peep hole to see who it might be. I'll understand if you don't open the door for anyone. Also, help yourself to anything if you get hungry and don't go on any pay per view channels. And don't watch any porn either." Antonio said as he got his things together and left the apartment. Matthew couldn't help but burst out laughing at the last thing the Spaniard said. Seriously, why would he want to see THAT stuff?

Antonio stayed out the door and listened to Matthew's laughter. Such a delightful noise. He felt like the boy needed it after running away from home last night. Looking so lost, confused, and broken like that. By how skinny Matthew was led him to believe that his family actually forgot to call him down for food when it was meal time or he just starved himself. He shook the thought of his head as he walked to Francis's apartment.

He took out the key he had and opened the door to see Francis sitting on the couch drinking a bottle of whine and watching TV while a cigarette was burning in the ash tray. He must be taking Arthur's latest rejection and his recent job loss hard... Antonio thought as he turned the TV of and took the bottle out of his friend's hands. Francis got up glared at his friend.

"What the hell is wrong with you that you can't simply knock when you want to enter my home?!" He angrily asked as Antonio put the wine bottle where he'd thought Francis would have gotten it from.

"I just came in to check up on my friend of almost ten years and I come to find that friend drinking and watching TV while smoking like nothing else mattered. Why aren't you on the computer trying to apply for a job?"

Francis sighed, "Why would I bother? I was just going to do something to fuck up and get fired anyways."

"Just try Francis! You'll never know what job opportunity's may lie ahead!" When Francis groaned, Antonio knew he hit a break through.

"Fine. But only because you'll be on my ass if I don't. What happened to you last night, did you get lucky? You seem a bit giddy this morning like you can't wait to tell me something." Antonio was supposed to drop by last night but something must have come up other wise he would have been there.

"I was on my way but there was a teenage boy in the alleyway and I couldn't ignore him." Francis cocked his head to the side. That's what happened? Seriously? This was Antonio! The only teenage boy that would ever be in his apartment was that Italian kid but only because Antonio is a family friend.

"So, in other words Lovino is crashing at your place because he ran away from home?"

"What? No! Not Lovino! His name is Matthew. I found him in only pajama pants, a red hoodie with a maple leaf on it wearing a pair of boots while holding on to a stuffed toy. He said that his family was fighting and he was caught in the crossfire of it all so he couldn't take it anymore and ran away." Francis took in what Antonio knew about the boy so far. A teenage run away? This was kind of new.

"I only met the boy last night and I'm all ready concerned for him."

"Why?"

"I think he used to cut himself. I saw the cuts on the wrists having seen them somewhere else." Antonio looked to Francis when he said that. The French man touched his left wrist that was usually covered by foundation when he was in public.

"I've grown from that Antonio. I'm still trying to get clean." He said gently rubbing the spot where a thin line of skin was a little darker than his usually pale skin.

"Anyways, I've got to head to work mi amigo. I'll drop by after work after I check up on Matthew." With that, Antonio was out the door. Francis thought about what the kid was like. Maybe he'll visit later because first thing's first, applying for a job.

Time skip to later in the day with Alfred (**WARNING! SAPPY TEENAGE LOVE SCENE COMING UP!)

Alfred was not having a good day. His brother ran away last night and he was afraid of never seeing him again. He sighed as the final bell of the day sounded. Today was kind of slow for the teen. He actually payed attention in class today to try and get his mind off his missing brother.

"I scare myself sometimes." He quietly said to no one in particular as he went to his locker but stopped mid-step when he saw Feliciano standing there with his back against the locker looking a bit stressed and confused. Alfred swallowed the little lump in his throat and walked to his locker.

"Hey Feliciano." Said Italian looked up to see Alfred and smiled as he moved out of the way of the taller one's locker.

"Oh, hi Alfred. Can I talk to you about something behind the school?" Alfred nodded and Feliciano left in a hurry leaving Alfred even more confused. When he was done at his locker he went behind the school where he found Feliciano.

Alfred walked up to Feliciano and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know how to ask. They stood in silence for a few minutes until Alfred finally found the courage to break the ice.

"Feliciano, tell me the truth. Do you really like me or am I just imagining things? Ever since you kissed me in the hall that day I've been trying to talk to you about it and you've been ignoring me to no end. I was telling the truth that day. I really do love you. Even if you don't feel the same way, I'll keep waiting until you give in."

Alfred was about to walk away thinking Feliciano would not do anything but then suddenly he was grabbed by the wrist and pulled back and the next surprise came when he was pulled down by the shirt collar and kissed by his crush. He was surprised at first but then he kissed back. They stayed like that for a few seconds and then let go of each other. The Italian blushed as he sighed.

"I love you too Alfred. I didn't know how to tell you because I was nervous, and I know this is kind of sudden and fast but, will you be my boyfriend?" Alfred nodded as he trapped Feliciano in his arms and kissed his forehead. This was the beginning of something beautiful.

Arthur was frantic. He had been driving all around town asking if they'd seen Matthew but no one had. The Brit couldn't blame them. They never saw him before so they wouldn't know. He walked into the bar he frequented and saw Yao in his usual seat crying into a beer. With a sigh he sat down next to his drinking buddy and ordered a water for himself.

"What's wrong with you?" Arthur asked as he took a sip of water. Yao looked up and looked back into his drink with a sigh.

"I tried to talk to her."

"What happened?" The Chinese man took a long swig of his beer and then slammed it down on the bar and banged on the table and yelled for the bartender to get him another drink.

"Lin said that the kids hate me. She say Li Xiao is denying that I'm even his father, Im Yong Soo threw out everything I ever gave him, Kiku is barely hanging going out of the house anymore and Mei just stares out a window all day! I've tried to talk to them but every time I try they run away like I'm some stranger who is going to kidnap and rape them!" Yao cried more and drank his beer. Arthur sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. At least Yao wasn't going through any of the shit he was going through.

About an hour went by with Yao crying about how he's never going to be able to talk with his children ever again and Arthur silently thinking to himself about how he's going to find Arthur. Yao sensed this coming from his drinking buddy and looked at him.

"So, what the hell wrong with you? You seem sad about something too. What happen? Estranged husband come and take custody of kids?" Arthur shook his head.

"It's nothing like that. You see, I tried to talk to Francis yesterday to ask him if he could stop calling me because me and the boys were going through a tough time at the moment and then we fight. On top of that I had a job interview I think I bombed and one of my sons were sick yesterday so when I told him about how I think the job interview went he suggested asking his father to come back and help out.

"He didn't even know I went to visit his other brother and neither does my other son! So then I went to my room and cried for a while then I got into a fight with my other son and that just made Matthew mad enough to grab his damn bear, a pair of boots and leave. I tried to run after him but he was too fast and I quickly lost him in the crowd." The Brit explained. He was in such a bad situation right now, he didn't really know what to think anymore. Yao sighed as he took another swig of his drink.

"Your situation just as bad as mine. I lost my apartment today because I couldn't hold down good job to pay rent and have to live in crappy shelter. I've been here all day glued to my bar stool." He said swooshing his ass in the stool to demonstrate a point.

"Why don't you live with me and my son until you get back on your feet?"

Yao's eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas, "You really mean it? You're not just playing with my emotions?" Arthur nodded as he got off of his stool and took Yao's wrist and led the possibly drunk Chinese man to the back seat of his car as he got in the driver's seat and started driving off to his home. Hopefully, Alfred won't mind a guest in the house.

When they got to the house Arthur immediately got Yao on the couch and made him fall asleep. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked at Yao. Was this how he looked when Francis had to pick him up from the bar when he passed out drunk? Probably. He sat down in his chair as he started to read a book.

Matthew sat on the couch and watched cartoons. He still couldn't believe someone actually noticed him. He was sure Antonio was a nice guy but he had no idea what to think. Random stranger picking up a runaway 14-year old boy. He barely knew this guy!

The door opened and in came Antonio loosening his tie and taking his suit jacket off then putting some of his things down. The Spaniard sat down next to Matthew and turned the TV off. Matthew turned to looked at him with a questionable face as Antonio sighed.

"Look, if you are going to continue living here in this apartment then you have to tell me the truth. How did you really get those marks on your wrist?" Matthew was shocked. He seemed to believe his statement about them last night. Antonio looked serious as he stared the boy down. After a few minutes Matthew let his guard down.

"I got them on my wrist because I really used to cut myself. In fact, the last time I cut was yesterday. The reason I cut was because my twin brother and father were fighting a lot and it took a toll on me. I didn't tell them what their fights did to me since they'd fall back into their own routine. A friend of mine tried to help me but I'm beyond any help." Antonio listened and was heart broken listening to the words he had to say. Matthew seemed like a really great kid but to have to go live with that for a good fraction of his live must have really hurt him emotionally. He was about to ask where his mother was in all this but then Matthew continued his story.

"I have no mother. She's somewhere else in this world. My father told me that she wanted no part of me and my brother so she gave us to him and Papa to take care of. In fact, I think she may have been some irresponsible party girl who didn't want to take care of me and my brother. I remember Dad saying her exact words about us. She called us little mistakes that she couldn't wait to get rid of." Matthew cried a little.

Could you imagine not being wanted by your own mother? Matthew had absolutely no idea he was telling a complete lie though. Arthur and Francis told him and Alfred that so they wouldn't be confused on how a guy was able to give birth to them. Let alone have the functional reproductive organs to carry a child and have a safe birth without death of the host. If anyone forgot, Arthur gave birth to him and Alfred. Antonio was trying to stop himself from crying but then he remembered something. The boy mentioned have a papa.

"Where was your Papa in all this? Couldn't he have had stopped the fighting between your father and brother?" Matthew cried more at the mention of Papa with memories of the day he left flooding in his mind. That day would forever be burned into his memory. It was like a bad dream he could never escape from.

"Papa left when I was five. He and Dad got into an argument over Papa cheating on Dad. I remember Dad slapping him and I cried for them to stop fighting and then Dad chucked a suitcase at papa telling him to get the fuck out if he was going to turn his back on the family and then me and Alfred, my twin, followed Papa to their room where he was packing his things.

"He said that while he was leaving forever he wasn't completely out of our lives or that he stopped loving us anymore. While he was getting finished packing me and Alfred went to block the door thinking Papa wouldn't leave. Dad had to put Alfred in time-out when he wouldn't move when I did and that's when Papa was starting to leave. I grabbed his leg and said that I wasn't letting him go. It worked until my other father came out and got me so that Papa could go.

"Papa started to leave but then I bit Dad's hand and chased after his car. I screamed for him to come back, take me with him, and not to go. He was gone. I don't know if he ever heard me screaming for him and I don't think he cared and that's why he kept driving..." Matthew cried.

Antonio was stunned. All of this happening to such an innocent boy. First there was the fact of knowing that his own mother never wanted him from the moment she found out about him and then there's losing one of his fathers and not knowing where the other is. Then there's also the remaining father and his own twin fighting causing him to cut himself.

The Spaniard couldn't help himself as he hugged Matthew tight as he cried. Matthew returned the hug never having told anyone else this story before. He hated remembering that day. It was the cause of his problems. The reason why Papa never called or visited. The reason Dad and Alfred were always fighting. The reason he started to cut himself.

"Shh. It's okay. Stop crying, Mateo, stop crying. I shouldn't have asked that far." Matthew kept crying until he eventually put himself to sleep by crying. Once the teen's sobbing was replaced by light snores, Antonio gently laid him down on the couch with his stuffed polar bear and placed a blanket over him. From what Antonio knew of the sleeping boy so far, he came from what you'd call a broken home. He sighed as he thought about what the hell kind of place did this kid come from?

Alfred came home as excited as ever because he was hanging out with his new boyfriend. He walked inside and went to the living room when he saw a stranger sleeping on the couch. He would have screamed but didn't as he calmed himself down and saw Arthur in the chair beside the couch.

He took the book from Arthur's hands and laid it down gently and looked in his father's eyes.

"Dad, why is there a stranger sleeping on the couch?" Alfred asked in a quiet voice not to wake the stranger.

"He's a guest Alfred. His name is Yao and he is a drinking buddy of mine who has fallen on some pretty rough times right now and I didn't want to leave him in the bar so he can get piss drunk so he's staying here for a while until he can get back on his face." Great. Another one of Dad's drunk friends staying over. Instead of having a snappy comeback he just nodded.

"Okay. Did you have any luck of trying to find Matthew?"

"No," Arthur shook his head, "I didn't have any luck. I even asked people if they'd seen him and no one has. I can't blame them though, Matthew just has one of those forgettable faces." Alfred walked up the stairs and flopped right on his bed. It was his fault Matthew was gone. Him and Dad fighting on an almost daily basis. I guess if he wanted to, he could call living here World War III...Alfred bitterly thought as he fell asleep on his bed thinking and possibly knowing his brother was never coming back. Ever.

Francis closed his computer as he put his hands behind his head and leaned back on his couch. He had been working on finding a job all day, he foud a job that was willing to have an interview with him tomorrow. An accomplished sigh left his lips and he thought about inviting Antonio and that teenage runaway he invited into his home over for some dinner.

He got up from the couch after placing his lap top on the table and walked to the phone. He dialed his friend's number and waited for a few minutes until it was picked up.

"Hola?"

"Bonjour Antonio! Guess who has a job interview tomorrow!"

"Congratulations mi amigo! What job?"

"I got a job interview for a job interview for a French restaurant opening up and I'm going to work there as a chef! If you want then you and Matthew can come over for dinner and have a free taste of what will hit the public's taste buds." There was silence on the phone for a few seconds and then Antonio sighed.

"I think I'm going to have to take you up on that offer for Thanksgiving at my home next month. I made Matthew cry by asking him to tell the truth if he wanted to stay in the apartment with me and that made him spill his life story. Even made me cry from just hearing how he lived."

"Mon Dieu! You could have waited until he was settled at your home for a couple of days! Made it a Hallmark Channel moment between you two and asked him on Thanksgiving or Christmas!"

"I had to know Francis. I would have felt awkward letting a runaway teen stay in my home and not know anything about him."

"Since you had your own reason I guess I can't really judge you. So, are you going to have him call you Uncle Toni?" Francis joked. It would be the cutest thing if a kid called him Uncle Toni.

"If he gets comfortable enough to call me that. I have to go and make dinner for me and Matthew. Would you mind calling Elizabeta and Roderich for me to make sure that they're still coming over for Thanksgiving dinner?"

"No problem. Bye." Antonio hung up the phone on the other end and then Francis dialed Elizabeta's phone number. The phone rang for a couple minutes until it was finally answered.

"Elizabeta speaking. Talk or I hang up." Elizabeta's cheery voice said from the other end of the line.

"Bonjour Elizabeta! Antonio asked me to call you and Roderich to make sure you guys are still coming over for Thanksgiving dinner. Are you two able to make it?"

"Of course! We wouldn't miss it for the world. Is it true that you've been trying to talk to Arthur into seeing your boys and you lost your job?"

"Oui. But that job sucked and I guess Arthur is still bitter about it. I have a job interview tomorrow and guess what Antonio let in his apartment!"

"What? A cute homeless kitty?"

"Non! He actually let a runaway teenager into his home and it's not even little Lovino!"

"Really? I never would have guessed! Did you meet the boy yet?"

"All I know is that his name was Matthew. I haven't gotten a chance to meet him yet. I'll probably meet him later."

"Okay. I have to go now, bye!" Elizabeta hung up and Francis smiled a bit. Maybe today was a good day. He put the phone down as he took a shower and fell asleep. He couldn't get the image of a teenage boy crying his eyes out of his head. Maybe he'll meet Matthew at Thanksgiving dinner if he doesn't decide to go home.

9: Thanksgiving Reunion

9 years ago Francis Bonnefroy cheated on his husband Arthur at a friend's party and when said husband found out, he flipped and kicked his husband out leaving him single and unwilling to mingle and their twin boys, Alfred and Matthew, without their other father who has a drinking problem that, to this day, is still unsolved. 9 years later, Arthur gets fired from his job for coming in with a slight hangover (again) which puts the family in a small financial bind. After something of a family feud happens, Alfred goes on his computer in attempt to try and find their father again but Matthew finds out and voices his words of doubt which leads Alfred to thinking Arthur might have done something to his twin to make him lose faith in Francis which leads to a feud between father and son.

The next day, Francis gets to thinking about the family he left behind and calls Arthur to request a little visit to the boys but then Arthur declines by saying that there's a lot going on with him and the twins at the moment. That leads to an argument and Arthur angrily hanging up the phone then looking at some old family photos when Matthew came downstairs and picked up their last family photo with Francis, still feeling angry after hearing from Francis after years of hearing nothing (mainly by dodging the French man's calls) he tore the picture in half. After this he rushes out to the bar he frequents and talks with his drinking buddy, Yao Wang, about his troubles but after he hears Yao's troubles he starts to think that he may be lucky and he just doesn't realize it.

Arthur then wakes up in the bar because he had gotten drunk and couldn't drive his car back home. When he gets home he sees the boys walking to school and offers them a ride but only gets a smart comment from Alfred leading Matthew to think that Alfred's being a total douche to their father. As soon as they get to school Alfred has a run-in with his crush, Feliciano Vargas. Alfred then confesses his love and then Feliciano kisses him confusing the American because after that, Feliciano starts to avoid him. Meanwhile Francis gets fired from his job for not showing up again in which Alfred later on finds out where his father works after he gets fired. Ironic, isn't it? Then Matthew and Gilbert are talking and Matthew opens up about his cutting problem. Next Francis gets a visit from Arthur who confronts his estranged husband face-to-face to ask him to stop contacting him which leads to another fight and Francis finding out that Arthur changed Alfred's and Matthew's last name to Jones and Williams.

Matthew had gotten sick earlier and had to stay home so when Arthur got back from a job interview he had which he was convinced he failed. Matthew took this opportunity to mention Papa again which made Arthur think of the fight he and Francis had. Later when Alfred got home he was a bit torn in love about his crush but that was a thought quickly abandoned when Arthur came into the room and got into a fight that turned physical and had Matthew yell at them to stop and he ended up running away from home. Later on into the night he ended up meeting Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, a friend of Francis but of course Matthew doesn't know that.

Next Alfred and Arthur are trying to adjust without having Matthew around. Alfred ends up asking Feliciano to be his boyfriend and Arthur ends up going back to the bar where he meets up with Yao who lost his apartment due to not having a good job to pay the rent and Arthur, feeling sorry for his drinking buddy, invites Yao into his home which he accepts. When Antonio comes home from work he asks Matthew to tell him the truth of why he left if he wanted to continue living in the apartment in which Matthew spilled out quite a story that made him cry just to think about. By the end of chapter 8, we know what happened so I don't think I need to write that. Holy crap this recap took a long time.

It was Thanksgiving day at Alfred and Arthur's home and Matthew hasn't come back home yet. He's been missing for a whole month and it made Alfred really start to think about how Matthew felt about everything that was going on. The fights he had with Arthur must have made him feel like nothing was okay in his world anymore. He sighed as he heard knocking at the door.

"Leave it alone Alfred. Dad's gonna get the door." The knocking kept getting louder until Alfred growled and went downstairs to answer the front door. When he opened it, Feliciano was standing on the porch with his hands in his pocket and shivering. Quickly, Alfred pulled Feliciano in the house.

"Sorry babe! I thought my dad would answer the door." Feliciano shed his coat and shoes then turned to face Alfred.

"It's okay! Where is everyone? Your house seems kind of quiet."

"Let's see, my dad is out picking up my aunt Michelle from the airport she's going to be here for dinner and Yao is going to try spending Thanksgiving with his family. So what do you want to do?" Feliciano could tell that Alfred was trying not to think about Matthew.

When Feliciano first heard the news of Matthew running away he didn't believe it until Lovino was in an even grumpier mood than usual one day and Alfred cried when he mentioned Matthew in a sentence. He could tell that the brothers were very close together from the first day he met them after moving to America from Italy at the age of six with his grandfather and his brother. Matthew wouldn't go one foot near Lovino because of how grumpy he was out of fear of getting his polar bear's head ripped off. Feliciano smiled at the memory but was cut off guard when Alfred wrapped his arms around his waist.

"What were you thinking about?"

"The first day we met. How easily we both got along and how Mateo was scared of Lovino." He chuckled. Alfred looked at him for a moment and then heavily sighed.

"I wish he'd come home. I feel terrible."

"Maybe he will Alfred. You never know what's going to happen. Remember, after Thanksgiving and going into the Christmas season is when holiday miracles tend to happen."

Alfred chuckled and kissed Feliciano's cheek, "When did you start saying stuff like this?" Feliciano shrugged and laughed as he was picked up bridal style and carried to the living room then placed on the couch. The door opened and Arthur came in with a tan skinned woman with brown hair and brown eyes wearing a blue dress and a pair of black boots. She squealed and rushed to the couch and hugged Alfred.

"Alfred! It's been so long since I've seen you! How are you?" Alfred was being crushed to death by her hug. As much as he loved his aunt, her hugs are more of a death grip.

"I've been nice Aunt Michelle. Could you please let go of me now? I think I'm dying." Michelle let go and giggled.

"I'm so sorry Alfie, but you know I get excited because I can't really visit you guys! Oh that reminds me! I have to call my brother and tell him to have a happy Thanksgiving!" She ran out of the room and the front door slammed. Feliciano looked confused but then Arthur sighed.

"And that was Alfred's aunt Michelle. She's my ex-husband's sister. She can never visit too often because of where she lives."

"Where does she live?" Feliciano asked.

"She lives in Seychelles. We've actually been on a family vacation, it's so beautiful there." Alfred said before his father got a chance to answer. The Brit could have done something like scold his son but he hadn't seen Alfred smile since Matthew left. A smile crossed his face as he ruffled Alfred's hair.

"I'm going to get your aunt Michelle so we can start on dinner." Alfred nodded and then went back to chatting with Feliciano. Michelle came back in the house just as Arthur was heading to the kitchen. Arthur got the turkey out which she immediately took from him as soon as she washed her hands. She started to take the guts out of the turkey as Arthur began working on the was silent until Michelle started conversation.

"So, have you and Francis talked recently?" Arthur almost dropped the chicken broth he had in his hands when Francis was mentioned. Michelle had known of their separation when she called the house and Alfred picked up the phone the first week Francis was gone.

"W-Well... We talked last month. I probably should call and wish him a happy Thanksgiving but then he'll ask to come over and spend today with you, me, and the boys but that would mean... You know..."

"Having to see Matthew and Alfred after all these years and you don't want to tell him that Matthew ran away from home." Michelle finished for him. When they were in the car and Arthur mentioned Matthew running away from home of course the first thing that flew out of her mouth was if Francis knew or not but Arthur said no. She finished taking some of the remaining turkey guts out with a sigh and turned to look at Arthur who was starting to make the stuffing.

"You're gonna have to tell him someday otherwise he'll find out on his own if Matthew is found by a police officer and asked for the name of one of his parents." Arthur remained silent so Michelle continued. "Then what's going to happen if Francis picks up your missing treasure up from the police station and ask why the hell his son was at the police station in the first place?"

"I haven't really thought of that..." He mumbled.

"You know that if he finds out then he'll fight for custody over the boys. Or at least maybe Matthew..."

"Look, I know there is a risk for something bad to happen to him but I'm sure Matthew has been secretly staying at a friend's home all this time and that friend never said anything about it. Besides, I've called the police and the damn wankers said they can't find him but that they'll call me when they find him or something related to his whereabouts." Arthur turned around with his arms crossed.

"Okay tough guy. How about if Matthew is staying in a complete stranger's apartment or house?"

"It's highly unlikely. Matthew never trusts strangers."

"But what if he did?"

"Then I really don't know my son as well as I thought I did. Now come on Michelle. Let's make dinner before we end up starving the rest of the night." Michelle was about to say something but then she shut her mouth and went back to the turkey. She was worried about her nephew but she was sure Matthew was fine. He has to be, right? A sigh escaped her lips as she thought about how her brother would feel if he were to find out Matthew ran away from home.

At Antonio's apartment, Matthew was straightening up the apartment to make it look good for when the three guests arrive. Matthew was kind of nervous because all he knew about these three was that they were Antonio's friends. He didn't bother to ask for names since he also knew that two of them were guys and he'd get their names mixed up.

Antonio came out of the bathroom to see the teen working hard on getting the apartment clean. He smiled as he walked in the living room and put a hand on Matthew's shoulder to make him stop. Matthew looked up to see Antonio's smiling face.

"Mateo, you don't have to tidy up the apartment."

"But Uncle Toni, I've been living here for a month and you didn't have to let me live here. I can at least help around the house as a thank you for letting me stay here. At least let me make myself useful around here." Matthew had taken to calling him Uncle Toni a week after he started living at the apartment with Antonio. Mainly because it was better than by calling him by his first name.

"You really don't need to. You feel like a nephew to me and it is an uncle's job to take care of his nephew. But if you want to keep cleaning then I won't stop you." Matthew smiled then got a pat on the head from the older man. To him, this place was Heaven. Back at his real home he wasn't happy. Sure he was with Arthur and Alfred but he felt like he was living in the middle of some sort of war zone, a battlefield if you will.

"If you need me then I will be in the kitchen making the cranberry sauce."

"Cranberry sauce? But I thought you were making the turkey."

Antonio chuckled, "No, mi amigo is making the turkey. A few years back, if I recall correctly, I ended up burning the turkey so all we had to eat was the stuffing and my friend said that I was never allowed to make the Thanksgiving turkey again." Matthew laughed. How did he end up burning the turkey? Oh well, he'll find out later.

Matthew finished cleaning the living room and went to his room to change into what he was going to wear to dinner that night. A blue sweater and a pair of khakis with black dress shoes. Antonio was silly and nice enough to buy a little bowtie for his Kumajiro bear. That day they were out buying new clothes for Matthew when they came across a black bowtie with snowflakes on it.

He laughed then the door rang. The guests are arriving now. Matthew walked to the door and opened it to see a woman with brown hair and green eyes standing next to a man with brown hair and violet eyes who was looking like he didn't want to be here. He put a smile on his face and stepped aside to let them in.

"Hello. Is Antonio here?" The woman asked.

"Yes, he's in the kitchen. My name is Matthew, might I ask what your names are?" He asked politely. The woman giggled as she gave a container to the man and took her coat off.

"Aren't you just the most polite thing ever? My name is Elizabeta and this grump over here is Roderich, my boyfriend." Matthew nodded and asked for both of the containers when Roderich handed them to him with no words. Matthew silently wondered what could have crawled up the man's ass and died as Antonio came out of the kitchen and hugged Elizabeta.

"Happy Thanksgiving Liz!"

"Happy Thanksgiving Toni! Where's the chef? I never got to personally compliment him on his food when I went to his place of work." Elizabeta said as she hugged her friend.

"He said he was just preparing the turkey then he was coming over here to cook the turkey. He should be here in a few minutes." She nodded and then looked over to Matthew and Roderich socializing.

"So, is that the Matthew we've been hearing so much about?" Antonio nodded.

"Yes. He's been here for a full month now. I thought for sure he'd try to go back home by now, but I guess not."

"You know, when Francis gets here he's going to go into a fangirl-like state with how cute that boy is! Did Francis ever come here to visit?"

"I think he wanted to but work kept getting in his way so he couldn't. When I told him what Mateo looked like over the phone yesterday I could have sworn I heard his breath hitch a little over the phone. I tried to ask him about it but then he just got off topic and hung up." Antonio thought back to when he told Francis what Matthew looked like.

FLASHBACK

"You know, I've been hearing a lot of things about this Matthew you let into your house and I'm coming over for Thanksgiving tomorrow. What does he look like?"

"Well, he has blond hair like you do and he has these big violet eyes and he wears glasses. Plus I think he's also the same skin type as you and he's kind of thin. Oh and he also carries around this stuffed polar bear toy named Kumajiro." Francis' breath hitched on the other line. Almost as if he knew the kid. A few minutes of silence ran its course before Antonio coughed a little.

"Francis? Are you okay there?" The man asked as he began to grow worried that he may have said something to make his friend stop talking for a bit.

"Yea, I'm still here. I just remembered I have to get back to work! I will see you tomorrow!" With that, Francis hung up the phone leaving Antonio confused.

Francis was scrambling to get the turkey ready so he could get to Antonio's apartment faster. With how Antonio described this Matthew character over the phone yesterday, he could have sworn it was his Matthew. But no. Matthew would never run away from home, let alone cut himself. He paused in getting the turkey ready and sighed.

"Oh God, has mon petit Matthieu grown into what his Papa was at his age?" He quietly asked himself as he got a small flashback to when Matthew saw his scars the first time.

FLASHBACK

Matthew and Francis were in the kitchen drawing pictures together while Arthur and Alfred were out at a birthday party for one of Alfred's friends. Matthew reached out to grab a crayon when he noticed something on his father's wrist. It appeared to be a scar. Matthew kept looking at it until Papa noticed and made a small noise.

"Matthieu, it isn't polite to stare. What has you so enticed?" Matthew snapped out of his little thoughts and looked at his father.

"What happened to your wrist Papa? You have a scar on it." Francis looked at his wrist then back at the big-eyed child. He let out a small sigh as he touched his wrist a little.

"I can't lie to you Matthieu. I have this scar because when I was a teenager, I started to hate myself and so I would always hurt myself."

"Why Papa?"

"I thought I was worthless trash that didn't deserve to live anymore. Matthieu, promise Papa that you will never hate yourself and never hurt yourself the way I did." The boy nodded.

"I promise Papa." Matthew said, not sure about what his father was trying to tell him but since this was his Papa, he agreed to it anyways.

Francis sighed as he touched one of the many scars on his wrist. A permanent reminder to the hurt he'd gone through himself. A bitter yet dry laugh escaped his system. He knew that this was serious but he didn't give a fuck. With how things have been going on recently, it was understandable for him to act like this.

"I guess self-harm runs in the family. Such a terrible tendency I passed on to Matthieu." He muttered to no one but himself as he continued to get the turkey ready.

Antonio was getting worried. It never took Francis THIS long to prepare a turkey. He started pacing and checking the clock every two minutes. Matthew caught onto this and patted the older man's shoulder.

"Si?"

"What's wrong? You're pacing quite a lot."

"Mi amigo was supposed to be here by now and it's taking him forever. I might just have to go over to his apartment and see what's the matter with him."

"I'll go!" Matthew offered.

"No no no. It's freezing out there, you'll catch a cold and I don't need you getting sick on me now."

"It's alright Uncle Toni. I don't mind." He smiled. Seriously, how hard could it be? Antonio thought it over and sighed as he nodded.

"Okay, but only because you'll try to follow me if I go." Antonio quickly wrote down his friend's address and handed it to Matthew along with one of his heavy coats.

"Go over there and come straight back with either a blond Frenchman or a turkey. Or both, whichever comes first." Matthew nodded as he put the coat on and took the paper as he left the apartment.

It was freezing out, even more freezing than the day he left home. He sighed to himself as he shook his head and kept walking faster. Those hosers probably forgot about him and are probably killing each other at the dinner table. Is is sort of wrong just to see that happening? Matthew chuckled as he kept walking. The sooner he got the hell out of this frozen tundra, the better it will be.

He kept walking until he made it in front of the building he was supposed to go to. Taking a deep breath, Matthew walked inside as he was greeted by dim lighting and gray walls with hardwood floors to compliment them. This place looks kind of depressing... He thought as he found the stair case and started to climb them to get to his destination.

Once he got to the door he was about to knock but then a thought entered his mind. Just, what was this guy like? Matthew had never once bothered to ask what this man was like. All he knew about this guy was that he was a fantastic guy and he was French. The thoughts of this being Papa had lingered but then again, it COULD be just coincidence. Antonio was probably friends with another French guy.

Matthew shook his head and cleared it of his thoughts as he knocked on the door and waited for a bit. No answer. He knocked a second time and yet again, no answer. He was about to knock for the third time when it opened to reveal a man with blond hair and blue eyes with a little bit of stubble on his face. Matthew's eyes widened at the sight and so did the man's.

"P-Papa?" The teen let out in a bit of a choked sob, not wanting to cry. Francis nodded as he tried to keep his tears of happiness in his eyes. The father and son kept staring at each other like that for a bit before Matthew couldn't hold it in anymore and grabbed his father in a surprise hug as he cried.

Francis stayed stunned for a moment and then returned the hug as he to couldn't contain his tears. So this is what it felt like. Francis often imagined being reunited with one or both of his sons but he never imagined it would feel like this. They let go and looked at each other for a moment. There were so many things Matthew could ask but they were all just caught up in his throat.

"Papa... I... I... I missed you." Was the first thing that left his mouth. Francis wiped his eyes and then gently took his son by the wrist and led him inside the house.

"So Matthieu, what brings you here on Thanksgiving? I thought you'd be with your father, brother, and your aunt." Matthew opened his mouth to say something but then closed his mouth, not even wanting to say the reason why he wasn't with them.

"Matthieu, it's okay mon fils, you can tell Papa. I won't be mad." Matthew was still keeping silent. It was kind of awkward just finding out where his absent father was and then realizing that he'd been staying with his father's friend. Silence reigned over them for a few moments before Matthew remembered what he came over for.

"Papa, Uncle Toni was just wondering where you were. You were taking so long with the turkey he thought something may have happened." Francis didn't show it in his face too much but when 'Uncle Toni' came out of his son's mouth, he realized that his thoughts were true. His son did run away from home. His son is probably a cutter like his father was in his teen years.

"Papa? Are you okay?" Matthew asked. Francis was snapped out of his thoughts by the quiet voice.

"Oui. I'm okay. I was just finishing up the turkey and then I was just going to go over to Antonio's right now." Matthew nodded as he waited for his father to get the turkey so they could head out. Once Francis got the turkey, they were off.

They were silent the whole walk to Antonio's. Francis wanted to ask what Matthew was doing away from home and what did he have to cut himself for but the words couldn't come out of his mouth. Part of him wanted to ask now but they'd only just reunited after so many years but another part of him screamed not to in fear of making him cry.

Francis stopped thinking about this when the door to Antonio's apartment opened and the overly excited Spanish man pulled him in with Matthew silently following along shedding himself of his coat. Antonio instantly took the turkey out of his friend's hands and placed it in one of his own pans then popped it in the oven. After the turkey's ready, then dinner comes.

Meanwhile, Arthur, Alfred, Michelle, and Feliciano had just finished their own Thanksgiving dinner. Arthur and Michelle were chatting in the study while Alfred and Feliciano were in the living room sitting by the fire. The Italian yawned as he started to nod off.

"Tired?" A soft voice asked. Feliciano nodded against his boyfriend's shoulder. Alfred picked Feliciano up bridal style and carried him to his room then laid him down on Matthew's bed. The brunette curled up more under the covers as Alfred chuckled and kissed his cheek.

"If there's anything I'm more thankful for my little Feli, it's you." He whispered as he got on his own bed and went to sleep too.

Arthur and Michelle were talking in the study. They were discussing books when Arthur sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"I just can't get Matthew out of my mind. I can't stop thinking about him being out there all alone with no hot food or a warm bed. I really wish the police would hurry and find him before anything bad happens." Michelle took both of Arthur's hands and held them lightly.

"Arthur, they're going to find him. I'm sure he's going to be okay."

"I want to believe that but I believe this winter is going to be a harsh one. My baby could die out there... And I chased him out myself... I'm such a terrible person..." He put his head in his hands. Michelle wanted to say something further but didn't as she hugged her brother-in-law.

"It will be fine. Everything's going to be fine." She repeated over and over again until Arthur eventually got up with a sigh.

"Thank you for the reassurance Michelle. For the moment, I'm just going to stay strong for Alfred's sake." He said before he left the study. He hoped nothing bad would happen to his son. Arthur wanted to believe that he was somewhere safe but another part of him couldn't help but worry about him. With a sigh he flopped down on his bed and fell asleep right there.

10: Merry Christmas, Tensions and Reunions!

It was Christmas Eve and Matthew still hadn't gone home to his father and brother. He knew that Arthur was going to eventually find him but he really didn't care about it too much. As long as he was away from the fights now he was okay. He thought about going back home but then again things might get back to the way they were. Dad and Alfred fighting then it's back to living in a war zone. Matthew decided he'd rather stay with Uncle Toni because he got to see Papa everyday.

Ever since Thanksgiving night, Francis had been over everyday after work to see him. There have been multiple occasions where Francis tried to ask his son exactly what made him run away but Matthew would always shrug it off or say that he'd say why later because he was afraid he let Francis down. He remembered the promise he made with his father when he was younger and he broke it the moment he put the knife to his skin.

A sigh escaped his lips as he held his Kumajiro bear closer and continued to watch the snow fall. He really needed a friend right now. If his bear could talk then he'd have a great friend to talk to but since this is freaking reality, Kumajiro is just going to remain a stuffed bear Matthew talks to when he's alone. The front door to the apartment opened and he looked to see Francis and Antonio entering.

With a smile on his face he rushed over and hugged Francis. The Frenchman hugged his son back as he looked to his friend and said friend nodded before leaving the room. Matthew let go and smiled at his father.

"So what are we doing for Christmas Eve Papa?" That question hit Francis. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy his son being there but he had to send him back to Arthur so he could keep going to school and actually make something of himself. Plus he was sure Arthur was going through hell trying to find him.

"Listen Matthieu, we need to talk." Was his reply. Matthew cocked his head to the right in slight confusion.

"What is it Papa?" Francis gently took his son's hand and took him to the couch and let out a heavy and uneasy sigh.

"Listen, I was so happy when I saw you again after nine years and getting to know you more was the best thing ever but I'm afraid that I have to send you back to Arthur." Those words his Matthew like a ton of bricks. He was going back home to Arthur and Alfred. Minutes ticked by before Mathew asked what seemed like the million dollar question.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I don't want you to miss out on any more months of school but most importantly I am sure your father has been going to Hell and back trying to find you and that Alfred misses you terribly. As much of an ass your father can be, he still cares about you. I hope you aren't too angry at me for making this choice." Matthew didn't know what to feel at the moment. He was basically going back to Hell, also known as home. He wanted to yell and cry and scream but all he ended up doing was nodding.

"Fine, I'll go back home but on two conditions."

"What would they be?"

"You have to spend Christmas with us and me and Alfred can visit you on the weekends." Is all that Matthew said. Francis was a bit shocked. Spending Christmas with them? Arthur would be pissed off for one thing but at least he could see his other son. Then there was the factor of weekend visits. Now that, Arthur wouldn't really be happy about. Knowing this was a bad idea, Francis nodded.

"Oui, I will spend Christmas with you, but only so I can talk to your Dad and so I can see your brother and, if Dad let's me, you and Alfred can visit me on the weekends." Matthew smiled as he once again hugged his father. Antonio came back into the room with a suitcase packed and handed Matthew his coat.

"Well, I never thought I'd see the day when you'd leave. I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too Uncle Toni. Can I come and visit you?"

"Of course you can! You've been like family to me!" Matthew smiled and hugged Antonio before he put his coat , this is it. After two whole months of not seeing Arthur and Alfred, he would have to see them again. Hopefully, they actually started to get along like they used to.

Meanwhile, Alfred was helping Arthur put ornaments on the Christmas tree. Alfred was still hoping that his brother would return. While he wanted Papa to return, his biggest wish this year was that Matthew would come home. Arthur was saddened by the fact that the police practically gave up on finding Matthew and had presumed him dead after after three weeks.

Arthur couldn't find himself to tell Alfred. He knew Alfred had to know about this but at the same time he didn't want to tell him. It would be hell for Alfred to know he probably lost his brother but it got Arthur thinking. For all he knew, his baby was dead. He didn't want to think about it and couldn't think about it. A timer went ding and Arthur ran out of the room only to come back with home made Christmas cookies.

"Do you want any Alfred? I don't think I burned them this year." Alfred looked over and put down the decoration he had and took a cookie. He cautiously bit into it and slowly chewed on it. When he swallowed the amount of the cookie he had and nodded.

"You didn't burn them this year. These are actually good." Arthur laughed a bit and then put the cookies on the coffee table. With a sigh, he decided to tell Alfred.

"Alfred, I have to tell you something and you may want to sit down." Alfred had a questionable look on his face but sat down nonetheless. Arthur did the same thing but with a very sad sigh. He didn't really want to do this and there was absolutely no turning back now and he decided Alfred was old enough to handle the knowledge.

"Well... It won't be easy to say this and I know that you're really going to be mad when I say this so I'm going to let you swear."

"What... What is this about Dad?" Arthur let out a shaky laugh as he wiped away the tears he felt about to flow out of his eyes.

"This concerns Matthew. Look, yesterday I got a call from the police station. They said that they've done all they could but they just couldn't find him and unless something turns up... I'm afraid that Matthew may be dead." At that point, Alfred's world stopped for a moment. Matthew... His twin... His other half. Dead. Alfred shook his head as he started to cry and shake at the thought of Matthew being dead. Arthur tried to hug him but he was pushed away.

"You're lying you British drunk! Those bastard police fuck-ups gave up! Matthew's still alive!" He shouted. He didn't want to believe Matthew was dead. Matthew wasn't dead. He wasn't. With nothing else to do and a heavy heart, Alfred ran upstairs and climbed on his bed and cried.

"Matthew... You can't be dead. You never got a chance to see Papa after all these years... If I could see you again, I'd say I'm sorry for driving you away from home. I'll do anything to see you again, hell... I'll apologize to Dad for everything I've ever said and done to him." He cried.

Unknown to him, Arthur had been listening to him the whole time. Arthur felt a lot of remorse for all the fights he got into with Alfred too. It was terrible since it was how the Englishman himself grew up. Fighting with family for days on end. Guess this kind of stuff must run in the family. He wiped his tears away and went to the couch.

This was not how he imagined his life. Arthur imagined life would be him and Francis together with their sons living in happiness but of course, life happens. The very thought of Matthew being dead scared him to Hell. It was something he never wanted to think about. Ever. The phone rang and he picked it up to look at the caller I.D. It was Francis again. He answered.

"Hello Francis, how are you doing?"

"Bonjour! I'm very surprised you didn't answer with a yell or anything. Is there something wrong?"

"Just... I have something important to tell you."

"What is it mon cher?"

"It's about Matthew. He ran away from home two months ago and the police gave up on finding him and presumed him dead. I was wondering if you ever see him while you're out doing whatever it is you have been doing for the past few years to also keep an eye out for him and bring him home. Me and Alfred have missed him dearly and we want him to come home." There was a bit of shuffling before Francis spoke again.

"Why did he run away?"

"Me and Alfred were fighting and the poor lad just couldn't take it anymore and ran off. You know, we've been like this for years. I called the police and filed a missing person's report but they can't find him so they presumed him dead. They just couldn't find anything else that could lead them to him and I don't want to face that reality." Arthur started to cry.

"Calm down... If there were anything you could say to Matthew, what would it be?"

"If I could, I'd say that I was sorry for all those years of me getting drunk. I'd tell Matthew how much I was sorry and if I could, I'd take it all back. I wish he knew how much I love him and how sorry I am."

"I have a feeling Matthieu knows. Do you want me to come over?" There was silence for a few moments. Maybe having Francis over wouldn't be such a bad thing and it will get his mind off of Matthew for a few.

"Yes. Would you mind coming over? I'll leave the door open so you don't have to knock."

"Non, not at all. I'll see you later." And then Francis hang up. The Frenchman looked over to Matthew who was sitting in the passenger seat. Francis had his phone on speaker mode so Matthew could listen to the conversation.

The teen had convinced himself that Arthur and Alfred had forgotten about ever finding him and resumed life the way they've been going for years and Francis wanted to prove that thought wrong.

"So, do you believe me now Matthieu? Your father and brother missed you a lot."

"Yea. Could you please take me home?" Francis nodded and started up his car. While they were driving, Matthew started to things at home did change. Probably shouldn't get his hopes too high yet. When getting your hopes high you're just bound to be disappointed is a little lesson Matthew had learned over the years. They kept driving until they reached the house. Welcome back to Hell.Matthew thought as he started to get out the car but then stopped.

"Papa, I have something to ask you." Francis paused when he was reaching the car door when Matthew said something. He looked at his son with a questionable look on his face.

"What is it mon fils?"

"I just... The day you left, I ran after your car when you were leaving. I screamed for you to come back but you kept driving and ever since you left I have had so many questions but now only one can come to mind. When I screamed, did you even hear me? Why did you keep driving?" Francis nodded and ran his hand through his son's hair.

"Of course. I will never ever forget the broken five-year old screaming for his Papa to come back for him. I heard and I didn't stop and turn around was because Arthur was really mad with me that day and I couldn't come back. Now let's go in. Dad's waiting." Matthew gathered his things and got out of the car with Francis.

Once they got to the front door Francis turned the doorknob and walked in. The house is as he remembered it. Beige walls with pictures and little wall decorations, hard wood floors either spotless or covered with clothes, shoes, or random objects. Francis went to the living room where he saw Arthur crying on the couch while the fires going on. The Frenchman sighed and coughed a bit into his hand which made his ex look up.

Arthur had puffy eyes and he was wearing one of those ugly as hell Christmas sweaters you wish you didn't have but, oh no, someone thought it would be so freaking hilarious to get you but you can't throw it out so you must keep it so you spare those person's feelings. The gentleman wiped his eyes as he got up and hugged Francis. The Frenchman was surprised for a moment then he hugged back trying to calm him down.

"It's a nice to see you too." Arthur quickly let go when he realized what he had just done.

"Ok, look. I didn't ask you to come so you can try and ask me to be your lover again. I just needed some comfort and... I'm pretty sure Alfred would want to see you."

"Um, I brought a friend with me so I hope you don't mind him."

"Ok. As long as this doesn't turn out bad for me then I don't really care." Francis nodded and put his hand up in a motion saying come on. Nothing could prepare Arthur for what he saw next. It was Matthew with his bear, a suitcase, and the clothes he ran away in. Arthur started to cry again as he hugged Matthew and kept kissing his face.

"My baby! My little baby! Where were you? Did you get enought to eat? Did you have a warm bed to sleep on? Are you still tired sweetie?" He asked in a hurry. Matthew smiled a bit before he hugged back.

"I'm okay Dad. I'm fine."

"Where did you find him? How did you find him?" Arthur asked letting go of Matthew.

"It turns out he was staying with a friend of mine. I saw him again after nine years on Thanksgiving. Now, your son said he was going to come back home under two conditions."

"And what would these conditions be?"

"Papa has to spend Christmas with us and me and Alfred get to visit him on the weekends. If this isn't too much to ask." The British man looked at his son. He had really asked that? Silence reinged around them for a few moments until Arthur finally said something.

"Um, Matthew, why don't you go upstairs and unpack while I talk with your Papa, hm?" Matthew nodded and took his bags upstairs leaving Arthur and Francis alone. They stared at each other for what seemed like an hour or two gone by. Silence was all around them until...

"I think you've been doing a great job with Matthieu." Francis tried to compliment but that didn't really help the small glare he was receiving from Arthur for not bringing Matthew's location to his attention sooner.

"Where the hell did you find him?"

"Like I said earlier, I found him at a friend's apartment on Thanksgiving. Now tell me something, is it true that you lost your job?"

"Yea, it's true what about it?"

"Did you manage to find a new one?" Arthur was about to answer but then he shut his mouth. He hadn't found a new job yet and he had no idea if he were ever going to find a new one.

"Look, I can help you. I have been working in a French restaraunt so I can help you pay the bills around here." Arthur looked at him for a second. Help from the man who broke his heart? Hell no. Arthur still had feelings for Francis but couldn't directly express them anymore because of how hurt he was that Francis actually cheated on him. If Francis were to slowly come back into the boys' lives then Arthur could find himself falling in love with him all over again.

But then again... He was in a financial bind and did need the help. Before he knew what the hell he was doing, he nodded.

"Okay, fine, you can help out but only because your sons live here and I don't wanna have to lose sense of my dignity to support the three of us." Francis knew what he was getting into. After all, he wanted to get to know his boys after so many years and he never got a chance to be in contact with them.

"So where will I be sleeping?" Arthur looked up at his husband with confusion playing on his face.

"What the hell do you mean now?"

"Where am I going to sleep? Matthieu DID want me to spend Christmas with you three so I packed a little overnight bag for myself. Shall I take the guest room, the couch, or shall I stay in our bedroom?~"

"First of all, there is no way in hell that you're sleeping in the same bed as me ever again! Second, a friend of mine is staying in the guest room until he actually finds a fucking job so you'll have to take the couch." Francis thought about what kind of "friend" Arthur was letting stay in the guest room. Was this person a potential lover? He stuffed his jealousy back into its dark closet as he nodded and sat on the couch.

"Good night. Have sweet dreams." Arthur grumbled a whatever in reply and went to his room. Once there, he got in the bed and sighed. This Christmas will surely be an interesting one to say the most. Maybe things might not be so bad. As long as he and Francis kept their distance from each other then Arthur won't fall in love with him again and have his heart broken a second time.

"I may hate the jerk but... I guess part of me still lives him." He said to himself as he let his dreams take him away.

The next morning, Alfred woke up to see the snow falling down. Christmas morning. His ninth year without Papa and his first year without Matthew here. Hopefully, things won't turn into a complete disaster today. Alfred expected to see nothing when he turned over to his side but a lump on hisbrother's bed made him curious. He got up and pounced on his brother's bed and in return got a light scream.

Matthew sprung up to see his brother on him and started to push him off.

"Alfred, get the hell off of me!" The blond in question looked up and hugged Matthew.

"Mattie! You're alive I knew you were alive! My brother's alive! I knew those lazy fat police men were just a bunch of quacks!"

"What are you talking about?" Alfred stopped and let go.

"Huh? You don't know? Dad filed a missing person's report with the police to try to find you. They couldn't really find anything and they presumed that you were dead. When Dad sees you then he has to call off the search!" Matthew chuckled and then got out from under the covers with Kumajiro in his arms.

"Wanna go wake Dad up?"

"Sure!" Alfred grabbed Matthew's hand and they went to their father's room. Maybe things actually changed here. Matthew thought as his brother shook their father. Normally, Arthur woke the boys up on Christmas morning but this was something of a turn around.

"Wake up Dad! Matties home!" Arthur woke up and smiled at his son. He rose out of his bed and yawned as he ruffled his son's hair.

"I know, someone brought him home last night. Now come, we're going to make our special Christmas breakfast." They walked downstairs to the kitchen and started getting things out when a yawn was heard from the kitchen doorway. Alfred turned around to see Francis stretching. No... It couldn't be. Could it?

"What are you three doing in here? I thought you'd still be asleep." It was. Alfred smiled and couldn't stop the tears from flowing from his eyes as he glomped Francis in a hug.

"Papa! It's really you Papa! Mattie look Papa's here!" The blond cried. Francis started to cry too. His son had grown up so much. Both of them. No longer were they those little kids that always ran around like crazy, now they were growing up and getting taller. They let go of each other and Francis smiled at his son.

"I didn't have enough time to get a Christmas present for you two. So what did you want?" The Frenchman asked his sons. The twins looked at eachother and looked back at their father.

"We already got what we wanted." Matthew said.

"What was that?"

"We got to see you again after nine years." That made Francis have to smile. Actually getting to see his boys like this after so many years was truly a wish granted. A loud yawn sounded and in came a little Chinese man with long dark brown hair tied in a pony tail. Francis suspected this guuy to be the "friend" Arthur had living in the guest room.

A sense of jealousy began to swell up in Francis. He still loved Arthur but he was so convinced that Arthur was completely over him so he never tried to say those three words again. Yao looked at Francis and a small look of confusion and slight anger entered his eyes but the taller of the two paid it no mind. Putting a polite smile on his face, Francis extended a hand to Yao.

"It is nice to meet you. My name is Francis, what might yours be?" Yao took his hand.

"Yao. Nice to meet you, aru." The man said through a smile. Alfred and Matthew didn't notice it but Arthur noticed the tension between the two. He'd known Yao for God knows how long and he's also known Francis for years. Hopefully some of this tension could wait until later because it's Christmas for crying out loud!

During the day the five people in the house had a splendid day. They ate food, gave presents, watched a bunch of Christmas movies and played some games. It was just something you'd do on a normal Christmas day. It was night time when everyone, except Yao and Francis, retired to their chambers and Francis was about to leave when Yao pulled him aside in the living room.

"What is it mon ami?"

"Cut the shit Bonnefroy. I saw how you were looking at Arthur today and let me just say that he doesn't want you back so just step off."

"Who the fuck are you to be telling me what to do?"

"Yao Wang, who are you?"

"À propos de botter le cul." Yao understood French well and knew what Francis said.

"Then what's stopping you bitch?"

"Mes fils are probably asleep and I don't want to disturb them and also, Arthur would get mad at both of us." With that, Francis walked away. Yao rolled his eyes and went to the guest room. Arthur over heard the conversation between them and a small blush creeped onto his face.

While it was nice to know Francis still cared about him, he couldn't help but start to think of the flame they had for each other. To Arthur it seemed like an illusion but the touches and kisses were so real that he knew it wasn't his pure imagination. But with Yao on the other hand, what made his friend so jealous and a bit hateful towards Francis? Maybe... maybe it was everything Arthur said about the Frenchman in question.

Yea, that was it. Yao couldn't possibly be in love with him! Could he? No, that can't be. Yao's straight! Or maybe bisexual...? Arthur sighed and let his thoughts carry him to sleep. He didn't know what it was but he knew he couldn't be thinking some of the things he's thinking about the situation.

11: Separation by Misunderstanding

It had been about one month since Christmas and, true to Matthew's conditions, Alfred and Matthew were allowed to visit their father on the weekends. Francis was making lunch for the boys when the doorbell rang. Curious, he put down what he was doing and wiped his hands on the way to the door. When he opened it, there was a man in a suit standing there with a blank expression on his face.

"How may I help you sir?" Francis asked as he let the man in. The man remained silent as he walked in and observed the apartment and he even made the twins feel a little uncomfortable once his presence was noticed. After what seemed like the first hour of a horror movie marathon, the man turned around to look at Francis.

"Are you Francis Bonnefroy?"

Francis nodded, "Oui. Is there a problem?"

"Yes there is. I am here on behalf on Child Protective Services as well as the behalf of City Hall."

"Um, what is this about?" The man then turned to Alfred and Matthew staring them down making the twins feel very uncomfortable and have to leave the room.

"Tell me this; were those your sons just sitting on that couch?"

Francis nodded. "Oui. Their father let them come and visit me. In fact, I get to see them on the weekends now. Getting back on topic, I'm sure you came here on business."

"You see, CPS got an anonymous tip in yesterday saying that you walked out on your husband and sons after repeatedly abusing them and never once tried to pay any child support. Now what is that about Frenchie?" Francis looked at this man like he was crazy.

What the hell? None of that happened when Francis was still around so where the fuck did all of this come from? The man looked stern as if he knew what the hell was talking about. Who could... Wait. Arthur. This was Arthur's doing wasn't it?! He let the boys go over his home so he could lie about how their marriage was before the break up and separation. Arthur wasn't satisfied with the money he'd been getting from Francis to help with groceries and pay bills! Arthur was trying to bleed him dry so he could have some money to get some liquor! That little lying British son of a-

"Yo, are you still alive?" Francis snapped out of the rage-filled trance he was in and looked at the man who was still wearing a straight face, a poker face to be more precise.

"Sorry, sorry, I was thinking about something. Now, where did you pick all of this up from? None of what you said ever happened before Arthur and I broke up."

"Sorry to tell you but it's the word of the one who called in the tip against yours until we do a thorough investigation through this. Until then, I am afraid that to ensure the safety of both your sons and your husband you can't go near or contact them for the time of the investigation. If you do then you will be arrested for trespassing." Francis couldn't believe this. He was never going to forgive Arthur for this. Ever. This felt like a practical stab to the back.

"I'll let you see your sons just this last time to just let them know what's going on." Francis nodded and found his sons in the spare room. Alfred was hugging Matthew close to him as the blond cried. From this scene, Francis could tell that they heard the conversation that went on in the living room. The older blond sat down with his sons and hugged them.

"Look. I know that this seems bad."

"Seems?" Alfred said standing up. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes and Francis could tell. "This is bad Papa! This is just like the last time! Something is tearing our family apart again!"

"I know this is terrible because the next time you'll see me is after this misunderstanding blows over." Matthew got out of his father's arms and stood with Alfred.

"Yea right. The next time you'll see us is when we're 18 and just graduating high school. Face it, stuff like this never goes over as quick as Law & Order and all those other crime shows make it seem." The Frenchman knew where all this doubt would come from. Hell, they lived with Arthur for a longer period of time so it was expected that they'd develop a bit of doubtful thinking.

"Boys, we'll be together again. You'll see. Now let's not keep the man outside waiting."

With that, the three left the room and returned to the living room where the man still was. Matthew walked over to the man while Alfred stayed near Papa and hugged him tight. The boy wanted to believe this was a bad dream but this was reality. Sad, sad reality. After a moment the man got tired of seeing this scene and took Alfred's wrist tugging the teen with him.

Alfred tried to run back over to Francis but the man in the suit was holding him back. He didn't want to be separated from his father again, not after what happened the first time. All of a sudden, Francis got a flashback from the day he left. The scene was so familiar to him. It was when Arthur had chased after Matthew who got on his leg to try preventing him from leaving. The only difference is that the boys aren't five anymore. Alfred had started to cry harder, the memories of the first time Papa left flooding his mind. The trauma of it all was too much for him to handle.

"Come on! We have to go!" The man said getting very annoyed with the teen. Alfred stopped trying. What was the use? He gave up and stormed over to Matthew. Why? Why was this happening again? After so many years, they get separated again! This wasn't fair! It just wasn't! How come every time Alfred is the most happy, something happens? Alfred wasn't sure of the answer because all he knew now was that another separation was happening.

Taking once last glance at Francis, the man ushered the boys out of the apartment after they put their coats on. The moment they were out the door, Francis heaved a heavy sigh and sat on the couch. Just when he'd gotten to see his boys again. When this investigation blows over, I am so going to take Arthur to court for custody. Francis thought as he looked at the one picture of them that day.

If there was one thing Francis couldn't understand was why. Why had Arthur done this to him? Arthur knew how much the boys meant to Francis! From the first day they were born to the day he left and even now those teens had a special place in his heart. He didn't know the real reason. All Francis knew was that his estranged husband was to never be trusted ever again.

Arthur was in the study when there was a knock at the door. Taking his reading glasses off, he went to the door. It was odd. Who would come here at this time of the day? He opened the door to see a man in a suit with Alfred and Matthew at his sides. Immediately, Arthur started to think about what could have happened. Did something bad happen? What happened to Francis? Most importantly, what happened to the boys?!

"What is this about? Matthew Alfred, are you okay?" Arthur started to ask fearing the worst as he checked the twins.

"We're fine Dad. Can we go inside?" Arthur stood aside and let the boys inside the house. Alfred instantly went upstairs and Matthew went to the living room. The man cleared his throat making Arthur turn to him.

"Oh, I completely forgot you were there. What is this about? Why did you bring my sons here? Is my husband alright?"

"Calm down Mr. Kirkland. Can we talk out on the porch?" Arthur nodded and walked outside with the man.

"So, can you tell me what this is about?"

"I am here on behalf of Child Protective Services and as well as City Hall. CPS got an anonymous tip in saying that you and your sons were the victims of abuse in the hands of Francis Bonnefroy. My boss was very concerned and we have launched an investigation involving the police in this so I took the liberty of picking up your sons from your husband's home. Are there any questions about this?" Arthur was stunned. Who could have called in the tip? Why could they have called in the tip? Whatever this was, it was a complete misunderstanding.

"Um, are you alright Mr. Kirkland?" Arthur was snapped out of his thoughts by the man's voice.

"Yes. I am, it's just that I think you have me mistaken with another man or possibly a woman with their own family because none of that ever happened while we were together. Francis never laid a hand on those boys and he sure as hell never laid a hand on me."

"I'm very sorry but until we are through with the investigation then it is the word of the one who called in the tip against both the word of your husband and your own word. As I said there has been an investigation launched in this case so for the time being of the investigation, Francis can't contact you or the boys let alone even come within a 10-meter radius of this home. Now I will recommend you to not contact Francis on your own during the investigation for safety reasons." Arthur nodded with a numb feeling in his mind and a terrible taste in his throat.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me about this investigation?"

"Yes. Sometime during this week a couple of detectives should be here with a search warrant to search your home." Arthur nodded again not really paying attention to this guy. The man left and Arthur had gone back inside. He shakily breathed as he went to the kitchen and saw Yao eating some of last night's left overs. The Brit sat down at the table with his friend and groaned. Yao looked up from his plate and poked Arthur's hand with a chopstick.

"What is wrong with you? Least you aren't having bad luck finding a job aru."

"Shut up Yao." Arthur snapped.

"You sound really pissed. Come and tell YaoYao what happened."

"I don't know where to start. I guess when that brute in the suit knocked on the door with my babies! He said that CPS got in an anonymous tip yesterday saying that Francis used to abuse me and the boys while we were still living together and none of that is true! He treated us right and he took care of the boys when I couldn't and he loved me right..." Arthur started to trail off after he said that. Memories of everything Francis did for him, Matthew, and Alfred started to resurface. Times when they were a happy family. He sadly smiled a bit and almost forgot what he was saying before Yao said something.

"Aren't you going to continue to tell me what happened?"

"Oh? Oh! Yeah! Due to the tip think that me and the boys were abused and have launched an investigation with the police so until this blows over we can't contact Francis and he can't contact us and we can't contact him. *Sigh* Sometime during this week they're going to get a search warrant and search the house. I have no freaking idea how any of this is going to work out. Did anything like this happen to you and Lin?" Yao shook his head.

"No aru. We actually divorced and the divorce was actually quite civil but then after the divorce was in place, she stopped letting me see the kids."

"You have mentioned that Lin was like that then and now with not letting you see your children. What's all that about?"

"I guess she was trying to ruin my life because she knew how much I loved my kids and... the man who handled the divorce on her side was a fucking liar and a cheat because the jury went in her favor instead of mine. She got sole custody of the kids and I end up having to pay her child support to pay for the kids clothes and stuff like that. Then she just wanted more and where does that leave innocent little YaoYao? Working day in and day out to keep up with this damn child support that I haven't been able to pay in two months because I lost my job for reasons even I don't know! I hate my life. Oh let me stop complaining aru! You have it even worse than I do!" Artur shook his head.

"No, we have it equally bad. Both our lives fucking suck. I just have no idea why anyone would try to wreak havoc on us!"

"Maybe that person is a heartless bastard." Yao said with a bit of a quiet tone in his voice. Thoughts of how heartless and cruel people could be started to creep up in his mind. There were times when Yao thought about taking his ex-wife to court for visitation rights but how would he do that? He's now living with a drinking buddy and has no job to support himself yet so what good would any of that do?

Alfred was sitting in his room talking with Feliciano via FaceTime about what was happening with him right now. He told him of the investigation and that he won't be able to see his father for the duration of said investigation.

"Oh Alfred! I'm so sorry to hear that! How long is this investigation going to go on for?"

"I have no idea Feli. All I know is that until the investigation blows over then we will be able to see him again. Until then we won't be able to see or talk to Papa and he can't do the same with us otherwise he'll be arrested!"

"Do you know who called in the tip?"

"No. I tried to ask that stupid man who took us away from my father but he said that it was an anonymous tip so even he wouldn't know."

"That has to suck! I can't imagine being away from Nonno over something like this, I think I'd cry!"

"At least YOU got to be with someone who practically took care of you for most of your life. My Papa was only around for five years and then he and Dad got into that argument then he left. You've been with your grandpa all your life so I guess it would be kind of hard to live life without him around after being around him so much. This must be how my brother feels." Feliciano's eyes closed a tear slipped out. The blond on the other end of the screen noticed it and gasped.

"What's wrong Feli? Did I say something?"

Feliciano noticed and wiped the tear away. "No, no. You didn't say anything! It's actually kind of cold in my room and it started to make me cry! Don't worry about it!" Alfred had no idea whether to believe his boyfriend or not. He could tell when something was wrong with the Italian because he'd known him for a while now. Like a sap, he gave in to it. For now.

"Well okay. You better turn the heat on." Feliciano nodded and smiled.

"Will do! So, could you come over tomorrow? Lovi has plans with someone and Nonno has to go to a meeting with someone! Please! I don't want to be home alone."

"Sure! Count on me babe!" They talked for a few moments and then Feliciano had to leave since it was nearing dinner time for him. Alfred leaned back in his seat and smiled to himself. He had a great boyfriend but one thing started to make him wonder. Why had Feliciano really cried? A small sigh escaped his lips as he stretched a bit. Maybe he'll find out later.

Matthew sat in the bathtub again. He couldn't believe it. Just when he was reunited with a long-lost loved one something happens. The only reason he didn't put up resistance like Alfred is because he was finished with all the crap life has given him. He sighed as he got his knife and looked at it. Some of his blood was still on it from the last time he cut. How no one saw it and asked him about it was entirely beyond him. A knock on the bathroom door brought him out of his thoughts and he quickly hid the knife.

"Yea, what is it?"

"Are you almost done in the bathroom, aru?! I have to go number 2 and your father isn't letting me use the one in his room!"

"Oh um, sure Yao! I was about to flush the toilet!" Matthew said as he got out of the tub and flushed the toilet. He opened the door and Yao ran in. That was weird... Matthew thought as he went to his room and saw Alfred laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling looking as if he was thinking about something very hard.

"Are you trying to figure out who called in the tip?" Alfred sat up and looked at Matthew. He nodded and cracked his knuckles as he laid back down in bed. Matthew sat on his bed and sighed.

"It's just that... I can't believe Dad would stoop this low to push Papa out of our lives. I know he's still hurt by the fact that Papa cheated and I know that he kicked Papa out for our benefit but just why didn't he have to hurt us in the process?" At this point Alfred started to lightly cry. Matthew went to his brother's bed and hugged him as he let his brother cry.

"It... it feels like that day again. I feel like that helpless little five-year old kid again. This seems so similar to it!" Alfred cried. Matthew listened to his brother crying and he had no idea where to go from this point. He'd never really seen Alfred cry up until this point, not even when his morbidly obese cat died of heart failure. Alfred kept crying until a light tap at the door interrupted them. They looked up to see Arthur standing in the doorway looking confused and angry.

"You're taking this hard I see..." I said in a distant tone. Anger, confusion, and sadness started to flare in Alfred's eyes and face as he looked at his father. Bastard! He really didn't want to talk with his father right now. He was so mad at him for getting his father in trouble and for basically destroying their family life. They were so happy until Arthur had to start being a bitch and kicking Papa out!

"Get out." Alfred said in a low tone.

"What was tha-"

"I said get out!" Alfred yelled. He was breathing heavily and glaring at his father. "Just go! You just love seeing us in complete misery don't you? Do you just love casting out the one person we most love in this family?!"

"Alfred, if you're talking about your father then I'm utterly sorry but this came to a total shock to me like it did to you. I have no idea who called that tip in!" The older gentleman said with a surprised voice.

"Bullshit! You just want to make me and Mattie miserable enough to move out when we're eighteen by pulling this crap!"

"Young man I am your father and you will not swear at me! I know that you're very mad about being separated from your father again but that does not give you the proper right to use that language in this household!"

"Never stopped you from cussing before you hypocritical bastard!" The young teen cried. He actually thought his father gained his heart back but no. He didn't. Alfred felt like such a fool for being played like a sap by this. Arthur was just going to find his weakness and use it against him one day and that one day was here and now.

"That's it! I will no more talk on this matter! I know you're mad and frankly I am to but this is a misunderstanding we will all get passed soon enough so shut up about it otherwise I will take away your video games!" Just like that, Arthur walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Matthew looked at his brother and sighed at him. Surely thing would work out.

Francis wasn't taking this so well. He had cried and had to call off for work tomorrow otherwise he wanted to give the clientele burnt food on purpose in hopes that Arthur found out where he worked and decided to visit. He growled as he thought of Arthur again. How could he just turn around and do this? And not just give him hell but the twins too? Seriously! The nerve!

He took out his wallet and took out the picture he kept in there. A sad smile crossed his features when he saw that picture of his boys playing on that swing set. They were smiling and they were laughing as they ran around. Such happy memories but then he came across Arthur standing behind them in the picture. His smile immediately went away and was replaced by a frown.

Oh yea, this was taken before the family separation. When he and Arthur were still crazy about each other and then Antonio's party happened and everything automatically went to Hell. Francis regretted his mistake ever since that night happened and he accepted the consequences but as compared to now, none of that is happening. He was tired of trying to play the nice guy and getting crap thrown in his face. He still loved Arthur but how can he love someone who was practically ripping his heart out with lies and killing his trust?

A choked sob was heard from the man now sitting on the floor with his back to the wall. He was so alone and he'd give anything to just have his family back. Was that too much to ask for now? He wanted to call and talk with the boys or at least visit to talk about it but he can't do that unless he'd wanna be arrested. Looking to the ceiling he glared upwards like he would a human being.

"Why me God? Had I done something wrong?" He asked the inanimate object as if talking to a normal human and expected to get an answer but didn't get one. Sighing, he got up and went to his bedroom and crawled into bed as he started to cry. Just when he'd finally gotten a chance to see them again. At this rate, he would never be able to fully trust again. All because life had dealt him a bad hand.

12: Tipping Point

Dear diary,

I may have just realized that everything you do will always come back to bite you in the ass when you least expect it. This was a lesson I have been learning the hard way and only took until now just to realize it. Just when I think things are starting to get good, something happens. I'm now being accused of abusing my sons and husband after we reunited. It was an anonymous tip from someone. I have no idea who but I think it might have been Arthur who probably still holds that grudge for cheating on him... I can't blame him though. I did betray him and his trust so I guess this is him getting payback. Very good Krikland. Very fucking good.

I could just sit here and blame everything in the world for the way things have been going for me all I want to but, in the end, I only have myself to blame. If I could find a way to turn back time and fix all my past mistakes then God knows I would. Hell, I'd stop myself from being born then Arthur would be with someone else. I regret everything I did and I can never beg Arthur forgiveness. I betrayed him. I wish I could take it back. Undo the things that were done but, I just have to brave this world with a smile and hope things will get better. All I have to do now is lay back and take it in. This is what I deserve. I guess that's all I have to say for myself.

Francis yawned as he closed his laptop. He had no idea why he even decided to keep a virtual diary on my computer. Just another crazy thing he did. Stuffing his laptop away, he take a look at his apartment and take a moment to remember what he did to get here. So much agony and pain must be hidden in these walls. Francis remembered all the tears he cried. The blood loss he caused himself to shed when he felt the need for pain.

A knock on my door got him back to reality. Who could that be at his door? He walked over to the door with a pleasant smile on my face so no one would feel uncomfortable. He opened the door to see Antonio standing there with worry clear on his face.

"I got the news from Matthew. Is it true amigo?" A solemn nod was all that pretty much confirmed everything since no words were needed to explain anything. Antonio was speechless. How could this happen? Francis went back inside his apartment and was about to close the door but the Spanish man had stuck his foot in before the door could even close.

"Francis, I know you're going through a tough time but I came over to try and cheer you up!"

Francis scoffed. "How can you cheer me up over something like this? I'm being wrongfully accused of something here and I don't think I can be cheered up. You know, I just realized something."

"What was that amigo?"

"Everything you do in life will always come back to get you with something that impacts your life greatly or terribly. I guess we know which one got me." Antonio hugged his friend who looked like he was trying to keep himself from crying.

"You must not think like that. Things will get better just stay on the positive side of things and eventually things will start to get better." Francis tried to smile but his face wouldn't let him and he only cried. What's there to smile about in this kind of situation?

Alfred was at Feliciano's house. After some detectives came like the man said they would, he left the house after being pushed into an interview. He wasn't very happy with what was happening now. It's 2014 and already there was some family drama. Trouble just keeps finding a way to hunt them down and cause them problems. Feliciano noticed and kissed Alfred's cheek.

"What's wrong Alfred? You've been distant ever since you got here." Said teen looked at his boyfriend and put his hand to his head.

"Its just this stupid investigation. I feel like my family is being torn apart in front of me again."

"Amore, everything will be okay. You'll see."

"Tch. Nothing will ever be okay! You know, I'd love to see you going through a family tragedy like this so until then, don't even try making this situation lighter." Alfred snapped. Feliciano pretended not to be hurt by the remark but deep down he was. He knew Alfred was mad that this was happening but what could he do about it? Having Lovino as a brother made Feliciano very much used to this by now but he thought Alfred would be a little different.

"Ve... I guess that wasn't the thing to say."

"Now you guess. Wow, you're just so oblivious sometimes."

"Oblivious to what?"

"Your own stupidity." The words flew out of Alfred's mouth like sharp knives. Feliciano started to cry and that made Alfred realize what he said. Everyone called Feliciano stupid or said that he was a retarded idiot or had given him insults to make him feel insecure about himself. Alfred was one of the few who didn't call him that. Up until now that is.

"No, Feli I didn't mean that! I so many issues going on I wasn't thinking straight!"

"Alfred... I felt sorry for you. I felt sorry for you because of everything that happened to you. Every single little tragedy including this one. I thought that you, my boyfriend, my best friend, would never be the one who would hurt me with harsh words. But I guess I was wrong! And you'd love to see me go through a family tragedy like this? I actually went through one not to long ago!"

"Fe-"

"SHUT UP! My parents were killed by robbers in the middle of the night! They came in while me and Lovino were asleep in our rooms and they came into my room, I screamed and Papa came in and tried to fight the robber but then he was stabbed. Then Mamma came in and she screamed... I... I was so scared back then. One of them put a knife to my neck and said that if any of us screamed again then we'd be sorry. The other one went into Lovi's room and got him. I remember hearing police sirens... the cops came and told them to let us go but they didn't. Instead one of them stabbed my mother. Repeatedly. That's when the police came in. They couldn't save a whole family but the children survived. Next thing that happens, Nonno takes us in by his right as our grandfather and we move here to try and forget but as for me, I will never forget."

"Babe... I'm so sorry..."

"It's alright. I now have a grandfather who is always busy and a pissy older brother and to top everything off, an insensitive boyfriend who wishes to have bad things happen to me! You know, I thought you were different form everyone else but you're just like them!"

"I-"

"Don't say you didn't mean a word. You know, your father isn't the only one you won't be able to see until this whole thing blows over."

"What do you mean?" Alfred asked as his voice got shaky.

"I'm mean get the fuck out of my house." Feliciano pointed to the door. Alfred started to cry a little bit himself but left nonetheless. He truly screwed up this time. He walked back to his house just in time to see the detectives leaving his home. Wiping his tears away he dashed in his house and into his room and cried.

"I'm such a fucking idiot!"

"Why are you such a fucking idiot?" A voice said form the doorway. Alfred looked up to see Matthew standing in the doorway.

"I... I... Let's just say you might not want to go near Lovino for a while."

"Why Alfred? What the hell did you do?" Alfred was about to talk but then he quickly shut his mouth. He didn't want to speak one word about what happened. Matthew could tell that there was something that was wrong and Alfred didn't even have say too much but at the same time he wanted to know why he couldn't go near his crush.

"I'm going to find out about it eventually so you might as well tell me now."

"I really don't want to talk about it now Mattie. Just leave me alone to sulk like the emo asshole I am." Alfred was not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. The happy relationship Alfred and Feliciano had may have actually just been ruined with his words and all he could do is blame himself for it. Matthew could tell his brother didn't want to talk about it and decided to leave it alone for now.

After Alfred left, Feliciano had locked himself in his room crying. Alfred didn't have to stoop so low. He knew that those words were out of anger and sadness but none of what Alfred said was neccessary. Feliciano hadn't planned on telling Alfred his tragedy story that got him where he is today. In fact he told no one the story because of all the trauma the memory brought.

After the death of his parents Feliciano had blamed himself and he still does. If only he hadn't screamed then he'd be the one in the dirt. Feliciano often thought of killing himself but then he would think about everyone he would be leaving behind. He knew that suicide wasn't the way to go but at least his suffering and crying would finally stop and he wouldn't wake up with nightmares anymore. A knock on the door brought him out of his depressing thoughts.

"Who is it?"

"Your grandfather! It's time for dinner!"

"I'm not hungry!" Feliciano called back. He didn't even want to see anyone after what happened.

"Are you okay my little Feli? Do you want to talk?"

"I don't want to talk about it Nonno!"

"Feli please!"

"No!"

"Okay then. Stay in your room!" With that the sound of foosteps leaving were the only noise heard. The teen resumed crying and evrntually cried himself to sleep.

Francis had been having a bad day. Sure he got by with fake smiles and fake laughs but that was a mask for the pain he was really going through. Antonio felt bad for him and decided that they would get together and have dinner. Mainly because he was concerned about him. They were eating dinner when a knock at the door came. Antonio went to the door and opened it to see Matthew standing there.

"Mateo, you shouldn't be here! Your father is here."

"Oh is he? I just came to talk to you, its about my brother. I should just leave now."

"You don't have to. Just talk to me out here in the hallway." Antonio walked out and closed the door behind him.

"Uncle Toni I'm worried about Alfred. He came over today from a friend's house and he's been in a bad mood ever since. He won't talk about it to me and Dad tried to get him to talk but even he couldn't get through to him. What should I do?"

"Well... My best guess is you wait it out. Wait until he's ready to tell you about what happened. Okay?"

"Okay... Thanks Uncle Toni." Matthew hugged him then walked away. Antonio felt sorry for the boys. They were going through this separation and it must be doing hell on them as the investigation goes on. He walked back inside and saw Francis staring at his food. He closed the door and the Frenchman looked up.

"What did Matthieu want? Is he okay?"

"He's okay but it is Alfred you should worry about."

"What happened to my Alfred?"

"Something has gotten him in a sour mood and it isn't the investigation it is something that happened at a friend's house that he won't talk about." Francis started to cry. He was so frustrated. He wanted to be the one to help his son out through this. Unless he wanted to get arrested he couldn't go near the house or call them.

"I'm so frustrated. I want to help so bad but I can't. It has only been one day and yet I'm already tired of this. I just want to see my boys again. I love them with all my heart and Arthur... I can't believe he would do this... I guess I deserve it." Antonio held his friend as he cried. The Spaniard knew Francis was a family guy and if he didn't have his family, he practically had nothing.

"Shh... I know it is hard. You must wait this system out and-"

"Stop saying that! Just stop... You have no idea what this feels like!" With that, Francis got up and walked out of the apartment. How could Antonio keep repeating that cheesy 'You'll get through this' line? Obviously he wouldn't be able to function right as the constant fear for his sons would keep him from having the good night's sleep he needed. When Francis got home he instantly went to his room and got out his old razor blade. This was something stupid to cut for but it was going to make him feel a little better. He put it to his skin and took a deep breath as he glided the razor on his wrist. He did light cuts so he wouldn't cut through a blood vein.

"A little cut here, a little cut there. No one will see, no one will care..." Francis rhymed as he cut. He didn't know why he did this in the first place but it felt so good the first time that he couldn't stop himself. Then comes the near death experience then he was about ten years clean until his and Arthur's marriage went south. He'd tried to get help but the help could only work so much before he did it again when they separated.

After he was done he wrapped his wounds up and as he was doing this in the bathroom he looked at himself in the mirror for a moment. He hated this. He hated the man that looked back at him. This was the face of a man who screwed up so much and couldn't even help his family. With a growl he punched the mirror. He shook as he craddled his fist which was covered with blood and glass shards. He would need some help cleaning this up. Taking his phone out, he dialed Elizabeta's number.

"Hello Francis?"

"Liz, could you come over here? I have a problem and no, it is nothing dirty." Francis asked trying to sound like his old self.

"You aren't okay... Is your door unlocked?"

"Oui. I'm in my bathroom by the way."

"Stay there, I will be there in a minute." Elizabeta hung up. Withing a minute like she said, Elizabeta was running to the bathroom. She saw Francis there and gasped as she grabbed the first aid kit and started taking out the glass shards.

"Francis... Just why?" Francis couldn't provide an answer. He just wanted his hand wrapped up so Elizabeta could get out of here and be with Roderich. Honestly, Francis was just done with life and this was his tipping point. Meanwhile, Elizabeta was worried about her friend. She cared about him no doubt but at the same time she wondered what got into him. I have to get him help... He's going to hurt himself if he doesn't! She thought as she wrapped his hand. Maybe she'll do it tomorrow.

13: Secrets Come Forth

Francis was laying in his bed staring at the ceiling feeling like a ghost of his former self. It had been a month since everything and Francis wasn't doing so well. After he punched the mirror and cut himself, Elizabeta tried to get him to see a doctor or get some form of help. He declined the help and insisted that he was just fine but she was making him go either way. No complaints, no buts about it. In a way Francis could thank her for looking out for him but in another way he wished that she didn't worry.

His phone beeped and he looked at it. It was Arthur's number? What the hell? For one thing he thought Arthur wasn't to contact him during this and why would he even call. Francis was still hurt by this but he was living with it and slowly accepting the hand life dealt him. Without a second thought he picked up his phone and answered.

"Arthur, you can't be calling me during this!"

"I talked to that brute we met the first day this investigation started, he said that since this is an emergency I could call you and let you near us." Arthur cried. This wasn't a very good sign and Francis knew it as he prepared himself for the worse to come.

"W-What happened?"

"It's Alfred! H-He hasn't been himself for a month and he never bothered to eat or talk to anyone, all he has done for this length of time was going to his room and doing his homework then staring at the wall! I even try to use McDonald's as a way to get him out of bed but that doesn't work. Today I was going to call him down to talk to him and then next thing I hear is fumbling down the stairs... I went to look and there's our baby at the bottom of the steps and he was pale and thin and there was blood coming out of his head! Come down here quickly please!" Francis couldn't move. As soon as those words reached his ears he felt like everything stopped.

"Francis are you coming or not?"

"Oui! I'll be there right away!"

"Thank you and do hurry." Arthur hung up the phone with a shaky breath and went over to Matthew who was shaking terribly. He clutched his Kumajiro bear to his chest tightly as every minute went by. Arthur kissed Matthew's head and hugged him.

"Don't worry love."

"Is Alfred gonna be okay?" The Brit looked into the sad eyes of his son. Nothing like this ever happened before and he could tell Matthew was worried about his brother.

"I... I certainly hope so. I want everything to be alright with your brother and I may seem like I don't care about you sometimes but you know I love you both right?" Matthew nodded and wiped his hair out of his face.

"We just wish you wouldn't drink so much."

"Matthew, I'm quitting. I'll give you my honor as a proper British gentleman that I am now. You see, I have a long family bloodline of alcoholics running through my veins dating back to God knows when. Every single man in my family has had it. My great-grandfather had it. My father has it. Hell, my older brothers have it. And I have it but I'm the only one who is doing a damn thing about it because I don't want you guys to follow my example and be an alcoholic or cut me out of your life all together." Rapid footsteps sounded down the hall and the pair turned to see Francis running down the hall. Matthew got up and met his father halfway with a hug.

"Papa it's so bad! No one knows what's wrong with him! Alfred just suddenly collapsed and I don't know how!"

"Shh Matthieu. Stop crying now. Be strong for him."

"I'm so scared Papa. I don't wanna lose my brother and I don't want this to be the one time I lose him forever." Francis could understand what Matthew was saying. Ever since they were in diapers, Alfred and Matthew have had a deep brotherly relationship and they were always there for each other from the times that made them laugh to the times that made them break down and cry. This is one situation that they never got to encounter until now.

"Mr. Kirkland?" A voice asked. Everyone turned around to see a doctor dressed in scrubs holding a clipboard. Arthur went up to the doctor who had a stunned look on his face from seeing Francis and Matthew.

"What's the verdict on my son? Is he alright?"

"Oh- umm. Yes. Alfred will be okay."

Arthur let out a relieved sigh. His baby was okay. One thing made Arthur very curious so he asked the million dollar question.

"What caused him to collapse like that?"

"His causes for the collapse were from going without food for too long and blood loss."

"B-B-Blood loss? What do you mean blood loss?"

"When we were in there with your son we saw scars on his thighs and we even saw a big gash on his wrist. At first we thought that it was something he got from a nail that might have been sticking out from your stairs like you said but we compared the wound with a cutting knife. I'm so sorry to say this but your son may be a-"

"Cutter." Francis finished the sentence. He had listened in on the conversation and was stunned to know that this was his son for a whole month. While he was sad he would have to see his son in a hospital room he was also sad that he had another son who was a cutter. He had already suspected Matthew on it and didn't call on it yet but to find out Alfred would do something like this.

"Yes. When we were going into working on the gash we noticed that the knife had gone through a vein in the wrist that should never be cut and that was the other cause of it. The scars on his thighs were mild and equally dangerous but I can only agree with my colleague who was with me that it was the knife going through that one vein that caused it. He would have slowly bled to death if he didn't walk when he did."

"Thank you doctor. Is there anything you could recommend for Alfred?"

"Yes. I would recommend him eating and taking time off from school to let his blood flow back correctly in his body. Also you should get your son into therapy to make sure that none of this happens again because next time, if he's not lucky, he could give into suicidal temptation and die." Matthew listened to the man's words. He knew that he could die if he didn't stop cutting. It would be a major obstacle for everyone to find out he was a cutter but he'd been living with this secret so long that he didn't really care.

"Can I see my brother?"

"Sure. But your fathers are going to have to stay out here because Alfred can only have one visitor at a time for now. He's in room 319."

Matthew nodded and went to his brother's room. When he walked in the lights were on bright and in the middle of the room in the bed was Alfred lying in it with an IV hooked up to him as well as a heart monitor. His head was lolling from side to side and Matthew took to mind that it was probably the meds kicking in to his system and making his head loopy. The other blond looked up and gave his trademark smile as if nothing was wrong.

"Hey Mattie! What happened why am I in here?"

"Do you really think I'm that stupid? We both know what happened."

"Do we have to go through this now?"

"Yes!" Matthew was scared as hell for his brother. Seeing his brother's motionless body at the end of the stairs and Arthur trying to wake him up like that had really burned an unforgetable memory in his mind.

"Why do you wanna know so bad anyways?"

"You're my brother! I was worried about you! I didn't know if I would ever get to see you again or not and I didn't want the last time I see you have to be at your funeral! Just tell me why you cut and starved yourself what happened with you and Feliciano... Please..." Alfred knew where his brother was trying to come from but he didn't want to tell.

"No Mattie... Its stupid why I starved and cut."

At that moment, Matthew knew what he had to do. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he would have to reveal his deepest secret to his family one of these days but he never once imagined he would have to say it in a hospital. On one part of his mind Matthew thought about not saying anything while the other side was telling him to do the right thing and do this. Matthew knew what was soon to follow but this is his brother and he can't hide this forever. What is done in the dark comes to the light. Alfred reached up and pet Matthew's head with a light smile.

"Mattie, what's wrong?"

"I... I-If you tell me why then I'll tell you a very... deep and personal secret of mine." I feel like I'm negotiating with a child. Matthew thought as his brother looked at him with a confused expression gracing his features. Alfred thought that he knew just about every secret about his brother there was to know but now that he knows that there's a dark and personal one, he felt like he didn't know everything and that what he was about to hear he wasn't going to like.

"What is your secret?"

"Non. You tell me yours and I tell you mine."

"Fine. I guess I should start from what happened with Feliciano. It was the day he invited me over and I was so pissed because of the investigation that I let my anger talk for me because I snapped at him and I called him stupid and said that I wished that something bad like what we were going through would happen to him. He got mad and told me how his parents died. I tried to apologize but he just told me to get the fuck out. Then, as you saw, I got into a deep depression that escalated from starving to cut myself. I wanted myself to hurt and I wanted to give myself pain." Matthew knew that there was something going on with Alfred and Feliciano but he never thought that Alfred would stoop that low with him.

"So I told you the truth. Tell me your secret." All Matthew did was roll up his sleeves showing Alfred his own scars.

Alfred was surprised. His brother. His little brother did this to himself and he never knew about it. A sense of shock combined with some sadness come over him. He lifted his hand and lightly touched the scars on his brother to see if they were real. Sadly, they were. Alfred felt a choked sob in his throat when he felt them.

Matthew was feeling a sense of regret for telling Alfred about his problem. Mainly because he'll tell their father which isn't a bad thing since it would save his life in the long run but to just imagine the looks on his fathers faces would be the real killer. Dad would be crying about this was all his fault and Papa would be disappointed that a promise they made long ago was broken. Once the shock passed there was silence between the two brothers until Alfred said something.

"How long?"

"Since we were twelve. The first time I cut, Dad was drunk and you two were yelling at each other. When you weren't looking I went into the kitchen and took a kitchen knife and went to the bathroom and cut myself with it. I don't know what happened. I felt so much happiness and it felt so good and I felt the pain I wanted to cause myself that I couldn't stop and when you and Dad argued and it was very bad or for no reason at all, I cut myself."

"D-Does anyone else know about it?" This is what made Matthew want to keep quiet and not say a word. How do you tell your brother, the one who you always go to when something is wrong with you, that the first person who found out about your problem was one of your best and most trusted friend? Alfred would be furious if he told him the truth. Hopefully Gilbert can keep his fat mouth shut so Alfred will never have to find out.

"You're the only one I have ever told. You're the first." Alfred numbly nodded and looked very distant. It was his fault that Matthew cut himself. His fault... This was something that He felt he would never be able to let go of. But then again they were both on the same boat.

"So. The Bonnefroy-Kirkland twins. A pair of cutters. Where else do you cut?"

"My thighs like you. Don't think the doctor wouldn't mention that." Alfred lightly chuckled as he used his arm to pull Matthew into a hug.

"We're very screwed up. Aren't we?"

"When you think about how our family is then yes. Yes we are." Unknown to the brothers, they were being watched.

Arthur and Francis were stunned. Arthur was very much stunned because he was the reason that Alfred and Feliciano were a thing and they have problems and Matthew had been cutting for a while now. How could he have not seen that? Then he remembered. The knife he saw on the bathroom floor the night Matthew ran away. He thought he was seeing things because There were times in his life that Arthur thought he saw something that he could swear on everything near and dear to him was real but no one else could see and he thought it was one of those things again. He started to break down and cry. He felt- No. He was the worst father ever. He couldn't even tell that something was wrong with both his children.

Francis was taking as hard as Arthur but he was staying strong. He now had his suspicion correct that Matthew was a cutter like him. Practically, they were a family of cutters save for Arthur who never cut one day in his life. He still remembered the promise they made. While he was a bit disappointed that the promise was broken he was also very sad that they were cutters like him. As he held Arthur in his arms he couldn't begin to think what had happened during those years. He already had the notion that they didn't have a very good family life from Matthew but trying to put himself into his shoes was something he tried and failed to do.

"I'm the worst father ever..." Arthur cried. Francis kept hugging him and trying to comfort him.

"You aren't the worst."

"Yes I am! I drank a lot, argued with Alfred, I laid my hands on those boys, hell I even hit Alfred one time and we constantly fought and there was no common ground for us to meet on as a family. What kind of father does that to his own children? I don't deserve to have these two live with me any longer. Francis, if you are found innocent in this investigation, which you and I both know you are, then I want you to take sole custody of the boys." Francis looked at him. Was Arthur serious? After doing this to him was Arthur freaking serious?

"A-Are y-you serious?"

"Yes! I'm planning to do this after the investigation is finished and done with. I haven't told the boys yet because I have not had the heart to do so yet."

"Shall I tell them?" Francis was about to go in but Arthur stopped him.

"No. Please don't tell them now. Alfred has just gotten out of surgery and is going through one hell of a heart break and Matthew just opened up about his problem and is probably still scared that he almost lost his brother. I think we can let them enjoy each other's company for now and cross the fragile bridge when we get to it." The Frenchman tried to say something but he didn't. The boys looked so happy and he couldn't do that to them. He sighed and walked away. Arthur, thinking Francis was abandoning them, followed him.

"Where are you going?"

"I was just going to go before I overstay my welcome to be near you three again and get myself arrested."

"That won't be needed Mr. Bonnefroy." The pair turned around to see the CPS guy walking over to them.

"What is this about?"

"Turns out we launched an investigation on the wrong family. When the tip was called we were really supposed to look for a Francois Bonnefroy and look into his family. We accidentally looked you up via spelling typo. I am sorry for any and all inconvenience the error may have caused you four. If there is anything you need at all then please let me know."

"Um yes. I need something. May I talk to you in private?" The man nodded and he and Arthur walked off until they were sure Francis didn't follow and no one would listen. Arthur told the man the story and of his plans to give Francis sole custody of Alfred and Matthew.

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure. As long as they live with me and my anger issues over the years they aren't safe. I'm such a sick bastard that I would do that to my babies. I loved them so much and what did I do? Hurt them. Yell at them. Make one of them want to cut himself. Chase the same one out. I'm basically a terrible father who shouldn't be taking care of them. At least with Francis they won't have to worry about me anymore and they'll feel safe."

"Mr. Kirkland, I know you are going through a lot but don't do something you may regret. I'm going to cut you a deal. Wanna hear it?"

"Sure."

"As you said you come from a long line of alcoholics and you were often neglected and beaten as a child?" Arthur nodded with a dark memory or two flashing in his mind.

"I won't completely have them separated from you but I will talk to the court to give Mr. Bonnefroy temporary custody while you go to therapy to talk to someone about your past and how it affects you now and rehab so you can kick your drinking habit a little bit more affectively. I will also need you to attend AA meetings so you can talk to other people like you and then either go for sole or joint custody once you have gone through at least ten AA meetings. How does that sound?"

"I'll take it. You know, every now and again I try to let them know I love them but the way I act shadows my words and they never believe me. I wanted to hand over sole custody to Francis because I loved them and I know that they'd be better off without me. Honestly I thought when I told you all this you would have gone to the authorities and have me arrested for abuse."

"I was thinking until you explained. I know that this isn't the way to go but from listening to you and kind of knowing the family history I didn't want to do that. I could never tear a family apart. You wouldn't believe how many children I've had to take away who lived in terrible domestic situations. I even remember my first case."

"What was it?"

"It was my first case and we got a tip from a concerned neighbor saying that these two kids were being allegedly abused by their father. It was my first job so they gave me the case. I went over to the house and one of the kids answered the door. It was one of them, a boy. He was so banged up that when he looked at me he was scared like hell. Then I remember seeing another boy taller and older than him come to the door and look at me the same way but with more fear. Their father came bounding down the stairs cussing and giving them threats to beat them and when he saw me he shut up. Just looking at the boys and hearing from the father that they weren't in the right place so I took them out and the father was arrested and he lost his parental rights as well as custody. We were about to put them into foster care when I stepped up to adopt them and take them in as my own kids."

"That is lovely."

"It is. Ever since then all we've ever done was stick as a family and, yes, they still get dreams of the past but they try to move forward as best they can."

"That is really a nice thing you did for them."

"They tell me all the time. Now I have to go and talk to two of the kids we just removed from an abusive household. See you around." Arthur nodded and then put his head in his hands. He instantly felt a wave of relief wash over him. He heard more footsteps and turned his head to see Feliciano making his way over. From his guess he must have heard the news and come as fast as he could.

"Where is he?"

"I'm assuming you mean Alfred. He's in room 319 with his brother. You should go in and see him, I think he really missed you." Feliciano nodded and went to Alfred's room. When he walked in he saw Alfred and Matthew talking when he was noticed. The uninjured blond left the room leaving the remaining two all alone.

"I got the call from Matthew. I came as soon as I could and I'm just glad to see you're fine and doing well."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"I can never stay mad for too long. I just can't believe you would ever say that to me and I know it was out of anger but still. I wish you didn't say that."

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Ever since that happened I have been haunted by my words. I know I hurt you but I'm really crazy about you and I want the kind of relationship my parents used to have before any of our troubles began. When they were happy and in love. I want that." Feliciano walked over to Alfred's bedside and smoothed down some of his hair.

"Amore, I still love you and I don't want to be with anyone other than you but I think we jumped into our relationship too early."

"What are you saying?"

"This won't be easy but for right now I think we should stop our relationship and keep our friendship. We can try our relationship again when we're older."

"So you're basically friend-zoning me?"

"When you put it that way then yes. Look, we're just a couple of fourteen-going-on-fifteen year old teenage boys who don't know what the hell we're doing. This way we can just get comfortable until we decide we should try again. We act sixteen but we're just really a couple of kids." Alfred felt like his world was falling apart. He still cared about Feliciano and wanted a relationship but if this is what he wanted then he would do it.

"Ok. I can do this."

Feliciano smiled. "Thank you." A soft kiss was planted on his forehead before Feliciano left the room. It took a minute before Alfred silently sobbed. He didn't want this but he really loved Feliciano and he wanted to be with him forever so, in order to keep him, he had to do this. No matter how much it hurt his heart.