Sparkatale

Quite honestly, this is a very well-written short. It could be considered a good book, but some of the plot doesn't run very smoothly. Definitely worth a read, and possibly a sequel!

Incredible, I must say. I love how the story is told through free-verse poetry. It drags _so_ much less than ordinary novel-format writing. The interaction between Wolf and Josephine is just ingenious, and truly underscores her insanity. Well written, compelling, and really strikes a chord on the meaning of sanity and being a human or a monster. Excellent!

Many the dirty look? Wha?

A lot of dirty looks would sound much more flow-y. But still, I like 256 so far. :)

Okay, another weird grammar goof. You used a double negative, when 256 "Couldn't not notice." It would make a little more sense, and the story would flow a little better if you put in "Couldn't help but notice" instead. I like his characterization so far, but try to throw in a little more 'mean guy attitude' in there.   If he is a Gifted Guard, he's been brainwashed to be a total jackash, and that kind of thing doesn't go away easily.

Just one minor grammatical error. When she says "I have too.", it's supposed to be spelled "I have _to_". 'Too' means 'also' or 'as well as'. It's a common mistake, but it's one that a lot of readers will pick up on, and it makes your writing look immature and unprofessional. You have to be careful with these because spell-check sometimes doesn't pick them up. 

Other than that, very good story, I like it so far. :)

Just one minor grammatical error. When she says "I have too.", it's supposed to be spelled "I have _to_". 'Too' means 'also' or 'as well as'. It's a common mistake, but it's one that a lot of readers will pick up on, and it makes your writing look immature and unprofessional. You have to be careful with these because spell-check sometimes doesn't pick them up. 

Other than that, very good story, I like it so far. :)

There are some minor spelling and grammar errors. No, no, you can't fix it by going through with spell-check. You have to go the hard way and read it through with your friend who knows a lot about English.

You do have a friend who is a Grammar Nazi, I presume?

Oh my word, this is such a good--and funny!--story. You could write a series of short stories about Glorck.

Quick question; what do they do with the abducted humans? There has to be a reason that's fairly important if Earth is as pathetic as they say in here...

This isn't even that long, and it's one of the best fanfics I've read in a long time. No wonder You-know-who had it in for the Weasley's. Nobody like having snowballs thrown in their face. Especially if you're a megalomaniacal evil snake-faced warlock with a hate-grudge against anyone who even looks cross-eyed at you LOL. 

Thanks! This really was written on a night I had too much homework. I had to write a paper for an English assignment on Emily Dickinson, and I got SO SICK of studying poetry, trying to divine meaningless tiny details from her life-- like her political stance, her relationship with her parents, what area she grew up in-- the only thing he didn't ask us to try and figure out from her one poem was what brand orange juice she liked to drink in the morning, and what color her carpet was. Which was the reason I puddlefied an English teacher in the story. He deserved it.