Superstructure Ruin

 

      Laura tried not to remember the past; it was too painful.  When she did look back, she would remember living peacefully with other people, living in an apartment building with white walls and lace curtains in her little girl’s room and she could sometimes remember the face of a man she had been very fond of.  The trouble with remembering the good times is that the memories were paired with remembering the destruction of those curtains, the loss of that man, and seeing the very city she lived in leveled.  All of those other people she use to live with were either dead or changed by desperation into violent and dangerous echoes of their former selves.  The last time she had encountered someone she thought she had known, she barely survived it, and he did not.

   Nothing remained of those cities or memories now except vast fields of rocky debris as far as the eye could see.  She could not tell what had been street from what had been building, but life still continued and she was not the only stray human to survive the roving wars.  Laura had no choice but to venture out into the wild to find food for herself as well as her daughter.

    Laura felt the harsh wind blowing across her back, and hoped the flapping rags she wore did not scare off her prey.  Over the gusting wind, she listened for faint scratching sounds that were barely audible.  Crablike, she moved over rubble that had once been the sides of buildings. Finally, she zeroed in on a noise she had heard.

    She shifted one of the lighter slabs, possibly once a piece of roofing, to expose a very frightened rodent. The rat was startled by the sudden exposure and tried to run; Laura’s hand darted out, blocking its escape.  Instead of fleeing down into the dark recesses of the ground it had to scamper back and upwards, only to find itself trapped in a corner, unable to get enough traction to climb up and out.  In less than a moment, she had scooped it up and after a quick twist, added its lifeless body to the others in the makeshift pouch she had with her. It was a hunt she made several times a day.  A hunt she had gotten very good at.

    Just as slowly as she had begun her hunt, she made her way back to the hole she called home, blending into the shadows of the rocks, trying to look like a piece of rubble when she did have to move into the open.  There was no one to see her, but if there were, they were just as hidden.  It had been a long time since it was safe to be seen by anyone with the threats of rape, cannibalism, or worse.

    Her hole was a larger than average cave made up of fallen concrete walls, on rare occasions she could get some food without leaving it, but never enough to feed two.  When she peered over the lip of the entrance to the hole that was her home, panic quickly overcame her.  Eyes wide, she scampered up and around the outside of her home, desperately and wordlessly looking for where her daughter had gone.  That there was no blood was such a brief comfort, it didn’t even register on her panicked mind.

    Worry overcame caution, for the first time in years she stood, exposing herself to the elements and whatever predators sought after vulnerable women.  Although she exposed herself to great risk, it allowed her to get the best view of the area around her, and find her daughter.  All she could think, or even feel was the pressure within her breast, caused by the stress of her missing child.

    Out of the corner of her eye, Laura spotted her child; the six year old girl stood a short distance away, naked, with hair that had never been cut blowing in the wind.  She was on her own, dancing to a sound that only she could hear, watching her shadow dance across the rocks, experiencing a rare moment of pure play.  She was completely oblivious to the worries her mother lived with every moment of their lives.

    Laura ran as fast as she could and enveloped her daughter in a bear hug, before holding her out and wordlessly admonishing her for going out on her own, especially since the child knew better.  It was the only real rule the child knew, never go out alone, never make yourself visible.  Even without the use of words she had long forgotten, she would have scolded her child further if she had not realized they were not alone.  She still considered it good fortune that her child did not fully comprehend the reasons behind the caution, at least she had been able to protect her from that, so far.

    They were standing in shadow on what had once been a street where buildings or walls no longer stood.  Before them was dark wall that towered as high as the buildings that once lined the streets, but all Laura saw was a tiny open slot with a black metal tube protruding from it.  She may have forgotten some skills, like language, or how to fold bed sheets, but she did remember the danger that a gun represented.  She knew they were being watched by whoever held the gun, and whoever was also aiming a spotlight at them.

    She froze with fear, clutching her daughter close.  She waited; there was nothing else she could think to do, for that matter she was too frightened even to think.   She waited an eternity, not daring even to move, and squeezing even tighter when her daughter grew more bored than scared and tried to twitch or move.  She didn’t even dare to think about what options must have been going through the head of whoever was on the other side of that gun.

    She did not want to think that the owner of the gun may need meat, or physical release.  She dared not hope the person on the other side of the gun could be benevolent towards them, or view them kindly as some sort of pet beast.  As she was too terrified to even move the final decision of her fate was left to the unknown person behind the gun, or to whoever gave them their orders.  Whatever that decision was, whatever their views of Laura and her child must have been favorable.  With a sudden and loud clank, the gun was gone and a metal shield had sealed the gun slot tight against the outside world.

    Even without the threat of the gun, Laura was still too frightened to move, and remained still for hours in the shadow.  It was the shadow of one of the few war machines that still roamed the planet, the only indications of civilization that survived.   They were called Superstructures as to call one of them a tank would have been pitifully inadequate.  Superstructures ranged in shape and size from small, one unit was frequently mistaken for a car, to huge, such as one that was shaped like a train boxcar that was as tall as a skyscraper and the same width and length as a city block.  The one Laura cowered in the shadow of resembled an Egyptian pyramid that someone had taken a rounded bite off of the back corner.

    The last time Laura had seen a Superstructure was the day her city was reduced to rubble.  The one she had seen before had looked completely different from this one, but she knew it was just as deadly and destructive, even if she didn’t know which side this one was on.  Assuming there were still sides anymore.

    Laura was sore when she woke the next morning the sound of metal plates clacking against each other.  She didn’t remember when she or her daughter had fallen asleep, but it took her a moment to untangle herself and stand up.  Her daughter had an easier time of it; Laura envied her youth, and had an unexpected thought.  She remembered her own name of Laura, and remembered that she had once had a pleasant life, that involved her daughter sleeping in a white crib… she had to of given her child a name.  She couldn’t think of any reason why she wouldn’t have, but for the life of her she could not remember what it could have been.

    She sat, facing her child, and they shared the food she had hunted the previous day.  Normally she would have cooked it, but they were too hungry to wait.  Despite the rareness of the meat, they enjoyed the fact that open sky was over their heads instead of eating in their usual cramped hole.

    Having survived the night, neither Laura nor her child felt any fear towards the Superstructure any more, although they could not think why.  It continued to make more frequent clacking sounds as it gradually shifted and seemed to get larger and rise up slightly from the ground.  The clanking was joined by the soft sound of a dozen engines starting up one by one within the armored confines of the war machine.

    Standing, Laura and her child looked to the machine to see what it was going to do next.  Decide if they should flee, hide or abandon all hope.  She strained her already traumatized memory for anything she could find that would be useful about the war machines.  She couldn’t place the nationality of this particular design, but they were all extremely destructive with an array of weaponry from anti-personnel to globally tactical; they ran off of environmentally friendly power sources such as solar batteries and fusion reactors that gave off water byproduct.

    The most obvious exhaust pipe was releasing a gas that she guessed was not as environmentally friendly as the old public relations pamphlets claimed.  Other exhaust pipes released gasses and liquids that weren’t as obviously toxic.

    Keeping her daughter back, Laura overcame her fear enough to approach the metal construct to sample the most water-like liquid that the machine gave off.  It smelled right, looked right, finally it even tasted like water… at least it tasted better than the soiled water sources she had been forced to use.  Since the people inside the machine did not take action against her, she made sure her daughter got a drink too.

    Finally, the Superstructure began to move, not quickly, but it was a steady pace given the incredibly uneven and unstable terrain.  Laura and her daughter exchanged looks and began to follow it.  As long as they did not take too long a rest, they did not have a difficult time keeping up with it, which was a surprise.  They had no idea that the main reason the Superstructure traveled at such a slow pace was that it no longer had any place to go.

    Laura and her child soon fell into a new routine; the machine roamed across the country side for about half the day, and they followed it, leaving time in the evening or early morning to hunt in a different area each day.  They would then sleep under the stars, or nearby cover until the sounds of clanking and engines woke them for the next day when the process would begin again.  They felt comfortable with the new routine, knowing that they were not alone even thought they never saw another soul.

    The fourth day started with a variation on the routine.  They woke earlier than usual to the clank of the gun slot opening and seeing the machine gun again deployed and aimed at a man who stood frozen with fear twenty feet away from them.  While not as frightened as they had been when the gun was pointed at them as they had already passed whatever test it was before, they kept their distance from the man.  It had been at least a year since they had seen another human being in the flesh, and then it had not been under pleasant circumstances.  They began to trust in the judgment of the gun, as they left the man standing alone, and Laura began to show her daughter how to hunt for her own food.

    While going on their hunt, the small part of Laura’s mind that still remembered living in a white house with lace curtains worried that she was becoming too much of an animal; feared her mind was becoming like some dog chasing after her owner in the Superstructure.  The reminders of civilization’s past glories as well as the availability of water made her feel safer around the machine, but did she feel the same sort of loyalty to it that a dog would?

    They returned to the Superstructure, not just with a rodent meal, but Laura had also carried a large piece of cloth wrapped around herself that they had found sticking of the rubble.  The man was still frozen in place under the watchful eye of the gun, but they ignored him as they ate and got ready to follow the Superstructure as it began the series of clanks it made before it began its daily migration across the surface of the planet.

       Laura found herself wishing for the best with the new strange man.  She remembered the fear he was feeling very well, and he had a nice face.  He certainly didn’t have the hateful mean lines engraved in his face that the last men she had seen had.  This one looked as if he could have been kind.  She remembered ‘kind’ with the same fondness she remembered thoughts of heaven or the white room with lace curtains she use to own.

    The gun slot slammed closed once again, as the Superstructure began to rise up on its wheels or feet, Laura could not tell which method of locomotion it used, as whatever method it used was located deep underneath and behind the armored skirt that wrapped around the parameter of the almost pyramid shaped Superstructure.  Based on the noises, she suspected it was feet.

    The man sighed, and visibly sagged with relief when the gun disappeared behind its door.  Seeing that he too had apparently passed the gun’s test, Laura turned to him with her hand raised in a wave and her mouth open.  She knew there was something she was going to say… something that she should say, a form of greeting or farewell perhaps.  Whatever the sounds would have been, the words and the motions needed to make them were forgotten, so she smiled sadly at him when she realized she had no words to speak.

    He returned her wave, and opened his mouth as well, although he did emit a sound.  It may have been the start of a word he thought he remembered, but he seemed to have forgotten how to finish it as well, and shared her sad smile instead.  She was sure that he was one of the kind ones, but she still feared the risk that he was not, and made no additional moves towards him.

    Laura and her child turned away from him and began to follow the Superstructure as it began moving, while the man continued to stand there for a few moments longer.

    The man stared at the woman and her child, following the Superstructure; then turned to look back at the empty debris strewn landscape, particularly in the direction of the hole he had called home.  He made a decision, and he too walked following the Superstructure and two women, although he was careful not to get too close to either of them.  Laura imagined that in times past his hiding hole had once been his office, until the world had crumbled around it in a series of explosions, leaving him alive in a tiny alcove that was all but buried.

    Over the next few days, Laura and her child fully accepted the man as a traveling companion, if nothing else.  Anything else would take more time, as Laura greatly feared pain she frequently associated with closeness.  The man seemed to respect this, although it may have been that he had his own fears that caused him to continue to keep his distance.  His own demons that haunted him from his past, just as the white room with lace curtains haunted her.

    A few days later Laura was again awakened early by an unexpected noise, but instead of any form of clanks the sound was a series of loud bangs.  It started her, shocking her awake and causing her to sit bolt upright.  She saw her daughter was cowering with her eyes covered next to her under the cloth, and a few feet away the man had curled up into a fetal position, apparently wanting the world to go away.

    The gun-slot that she had spent so much time watching in the past was still closed; this sound was coming from much higher up on the Superstructure and sent flashes to the ground not far from them.  In the sudden flashes of brightness that interrupted the night’s darkness, Laura thought she saw a glimpse of running legs and a flash of metal.

    Laura was filled with adrenaline and fear, just as willing to charge to attack the invaders the Superstructure was driving away as to turn and flee from everything into the deepest darkest hole she could find.  The emotions cancelled each other out, so that she fell under a more calming blanket of fear, and refused to move from where she was.  If nothing else, she now felt much safer with the Superstructure.

    Just as suddenly the sounds stopped and the silence of the blowing wind settled over their campsite.  Laura lay back down and covered her head with the cloth that covered both her and her daughter, she didn’t dare go out to see what had happened, at least not until there was enough daylight to see clearly.  She would not sleep; she was wide awake and too full of adrenaline for that to be possible, she would just be patient.

    Laura and the man did not have to look long when they finally got up as the light of day revealed to three perforated bodies not far from their camp.  Each body carried either a knife or a sharpened shank made from the abundant scrap metals that could be found amongst the debris filled world.  Laura did not feel proud, and was grateful to the Superstructure for the lives of herself and her companions as Laura and the man each took one of the sharp cutting tools for their own use.  They would use them for hunting and feeding rather than slaughtering.  All three of them ate well that day before following the Superstructure as it again moved across the land.  A glimmer of Laura’s forgotten humanity felt guilty at the meal they ate, but no one could deny that the meat tasted much better than rat.

    Another new face appeared a day or so later, apparently encouraged to do so by the sight of people walking in the open behind a Superstructure.  This one followed a different procedure from the man or Laura, as she and the others were awakened from their sleep, not just by the sound of the machine gun slot opening, but by a sudden exclamation.

    “Don’t shoot!!” an unfamiliar voice shouted in a forgotten language that stunned Laura with not only its sudden abruptness but its shocking familiarity.  Had she once uttered words similar to that in the past?

    Laura’s head was suddenly flooded with old memories from forgotten times and forgotten words.  Images of a man she was once quite fond of, televised mobsters and various neighbors flooded her mind; good memories and bad, although even the good were tinged with loss.  With the memories more words came flying back, most of them she remembered, while some words were just form.

    “I mean no harm!” the new arrival continued to beg to the gun, but as the silent Laura expected, the Superstructure remained silent.

    The other man tried to say something to calm the new arrival down, but what came out was too scratchy and soft to be heard, and it was doubtful that it would have been intelligible.

    The pleading of the newest arrival seemed to help, as he did not have to wait as long as the others before the gun slot clanked shut.  The newest arrival sank to his knees from relief, and continued to talk softly to himself.   It soon became obvious to Laura and the others why the new arrival still had voice and language, as he never seemed to stop making use of it.

    He introduced himself as Steve to the others, it didn’t really seem to bother him that they didn’t speak, but he did encourage it when Laura and the others did try to talk on their own.  Having someone real to talk to seemed to make Steve ecstatic.

    The new man, Steve, frightened Laura in ways she had not expected.  With him came language, and who knew what other forgotten arts that would constantly remind her of past things that were long gone.  At the same time, she found herself relieved that there would be one more face to keep them company.  Maybe the chance to relearn language would be a good thing after all… for her daughter if nothing else.  It wasn’t long before Laura’s daughter and Steve were having simple conversations.

    In the short time it took Laura’s child to learn to speak, their traveling group also grew from four to fifteen with each new addition being tested in similar fashions, but not all of the people who tried to join them passed the test.  Any worries that Laura may have had about the group getting too large were set aside when she realized that the water discharged from the rear pipe of the Superstructure also seemed to increase slightly with each new arrival.

    The group had grown into a community, and Laura wondered less what she felt about the Superstructure and wondered more about what the people within thought about them.  Were they viewed as pets, some nuisance, or as the seed of some new future?  She couldn’t help smiling at the thought of a future; that she could actually hope for something beyond Today.

    Any hope of a real future she knew was still far away, she and the others were only just starting to wonder about other ways of getting food, and farming while traveling behind the Superstructure was impossible, as was surviving in the wilderness as such a small group without it.  Not that any of them had seen any ground worth farming on since they had been traveling.

    Then, early in the day’s travel, they reached the chasm and the Superstructure stopped.  It wasn’t so far across that the Superstructure couldn’t cross on its own, but there was no way that Laura or the others could follow it across.  The Superstructure remained silent and still for the rest of the day as well as the night, a lone tower standing with a small group of people huddled in its shadow.

    Laura held her daughter in their makeshift tent.  She still lacked the words to express her fears or reasoning.  She worried that they were nothing more than animals to those inside the Superstructure, that they weren’t worth the effort of protecting now that it was inconvenient.  Her biggest fear was that they would left all alone, to fend for themselves; losing their source of clean water, and having to go back to scavenging by herself and being fearful that any shadow was hiding someone who meant to do her harm.

    The morning was filled with trepidation as Laura and the small community woke early and waited to see the Superstructure was going to abandon them.  The sinking sensation in Laura’s stomach grew as the usual series of clanks under the Superstructure indicated the monstrous vehicle was getting ready to move.  The entire community stood up and waited for the Superstructure’s decision.

    Instead of traveling forward on its usual course, it began to turn.  Instead of traveling over the chasm, the Superstructure was going to go around and allow the people to follow.

    Laura found herself leading a collective sigh as she gathered her few possessions and took hold of her daughter’s hand as they began the day’s journey, following the Superstructure.  Maybe there was going to be a future worth hoping for after all.