I sit, shivering, under a bridge in the worst sector of New Amsterdam. It's past sunset, and they're probably looking for me now. Probably have been for hours. But hey, they haven't found me yet. And if all goes well, they never will.

But right now, my first priority is surviving the night. I forgot to bring a blanket, which was stupid of me, because it's freezing and it's not like I'm going to light a fire and tell the world I'm here.

I wish I had a blanket. Or a jacket, which I didn't bother to bring because it's hot as hell in the daytime.

So there I sit, pulling my sweatshirt tighter around me and slicing up a cold hot dog.

Dinner.

Yum.

Not for the first time, I wonder if this was a good idea. I think longingly of my warm bed back home, and hot food, and....

And they'd beat me if I went back.

I can't go back.

A single tear slips down my cheek and falls into the palm of my hand. I won't cry. I won't.

I shove the hot dog into my mouth and lean against a cement wall, cursing as I crack my head on the underside of the bridge. I wish it wasn't so damn dark under here.

And that's when the flashlight beam shines into my hiding place.

"Who's there?" says a deep voice.

I freeze.

And he swings down and lands in front of me.

I squeeze my eyes shut. No. I can't fight him. Though he doesn't look much older than me, he's taller than I am and looks strong. Too strong.

"Relax. I'm not going to hurt you."

I nod numbly, but I don't move out of the shadows.

He takes a knife out of his pocket and drops it on the ground with a clatter. "That better?"

I cautiously step into the dim glow of his flashlight.

"What's your name?"

Zaylinn," I say automatically. Then I pause, because that's the name they gave me.

He smiles. "I'm Ashden. You can call me Ash."

"Hello....Ash."

He smiles again, and something shifts inside me. Maybe this Ash isn't a bad person.

"Can I call you Z?"

I shrug. "Doesn't matter to me."

"Want some food?"

I nod eagerly, and he pulls a loaf of bread out of his pack.

"What happened to you? I mean, there's gotta be a reason why you're hiding under a bridge in the worst part of town."

I sigh. "Ash, can you keep a secret?"

He nods.

" I left home because..."

He sits, watching me, as I tell him the whole story. 

Of me. Of how every day, I got hurt, because no matter how hard I worked, how much I tried to make them happy, it was never enough.

Two Years Later

I don't know where I am. It's cold and dark here, and Ash isn't with me. Strange.

Ash has been the one constant in my life since we found each other two years ago. He protects me. He taught me how to fight, how to survive.

And I might as well admit it. I'm falling for him. Falling hard.

I picture his brown hair, his dark eyes, his warm smile, all of which I know well.

And that's when She comes out of the shadows, dragging a bloody, unconscious Ash.

No.

"Ashden!" I scream, trying to run to him, but instead I find my feet are glued to the ground. "Ash!" I scream again.

"Happy to see me, Sweetheart?" She says, baring her teeth.

*                               *                               *

I wake with a start to darkness and Ash's hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly. "You were saying my name and crying and thrashing around."

I shrug. "Bad dream. I'm fine now." My wrist throbs. Must've hit on something during the nightmare. "I think."

"Care to tell me about it?" he says with a ghost of a smile.

I shake my head. "Not really. Is anyone else awake? Kaer or the girls?"

"No. The only reason I heard you was because I was on watch."

Scary thought.

I'm still breathing hard, and Ash pulls me closer, using his thumb to wipe away the last tear on my face.

"You should get some sleep,"I say. "I'll take over the watch if you want."

He shakes his head. "No, thanks. I just started fifteen minutes ago."

I can't help but think if we had money, money enough for an apartment, we wouldn't need to live this way, Ash and Kaer and Greer and Ianna and I. Sleeping in dark alleys, scrounging for food in trash cans, always afraid of being attacked by the gangs.

All of us are orphans, either by choice or by chance, banding together for our own survival.

I ran away from home. Ianna claims she's been living on the streets for her entire life. Kaer's family was killed in an ' accident '. Greer's mom tried to put her in a home because she couldn't take care of her anymore.

As for Ash, he's never told us anything about his past.

It must have been something terrible, judging from the scars on his arms and back.

I lie back down on my blankets, facing away from Ash. The image of him, beaten and bloody, comes to mind.

"Z?" he says.

"Yeah?" I sit up again.

"You know that place I told you about, where you can fight others for money?"

I glare at him. "No. You are NOT going to-"

"Z. Think of how much it will help. We might be able to actually have a decent meal for once."

"It won't help anybody when you get beat up." I glare at him, but part of me wants to admit that he makes a good point.

All I need to do is look over at Greer's thin body and my resolve disintegrates.

"Fine," I mutter. "But if you go, I'm coming with you."

He looks at me, shocked. "What? No! I was planning on taking Kaer, and it's too dangerous for-"

"For me? Are you kidding me? I'm almost as good a fighter as you are, and I have your back, Ash. Always have, always will. I'm coming, and you can't stop me!" I shout, moved to anger by his assessment of my abilities.

"Xavier told me it was no place for girls," he retorts.

So that's how he knows about this place. Xavier used to be a part of our group. Until his hatred of the gangs got him a knife in the back.

"I can handle myself," I snap back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Greer stir. "Zelle? Ash? What's wrong?" she asks cautiously.

I run my fingers through my tangled blonde hair, a guilty look on my face. I didn't mean to argue with Ash. Didn't mean to wake little Greer up.

"Nothing, Greer," I say as calmly as I can, not letting on that I'm about to cry. "Go back to sleep."

"No," she says defiantly. "I heard you talking. I want to go , too."

I look at Ash for help. He shrugs, as if to say, this is your problem.

Idiot.

"If you heard us talking, then you also heard Ash say it was no place for girls. Especially a girl your size. If they make you fight..."

Greer may be good with knives, but if she gets jumped she's dead.

She bites her lip and nods. "Oh. Okay then."

I give her a hug and say softly, "I just don't want you to get hurt. Okay?"

She smiles at me. "Alright. Goodnight, Zelle."

"Goodnight." I turn around to glare at Ash again, but all the fight has gone out of me. I'm just so tired...

"Easy, Z. I guess I don't mind if you come tomorrow, I just don't want the girls to have to stay here alone."

"They won't be alone. I'll be with them."

Did we wake the whole city with our shouting?

"Thanks, bro," Ash says to a very awake Kaer. "Dunno what I'd do without you."

I fall asleep with my head on Ash's lap.

After a meager breakfast of stale bread and warm water, Ash and I leave for the fighting place.
It feels almost like the old days, when it was just me and Ash against the world. Free. Happy. 
I still keep my hand on my knife, though. Just in case.

We race through the already crowded streets, with Ash muttering to himself and me desperately trying to keep up.

"Jeez, Ash. Slow down. My legs aren't nearly as long as yours are."

He stops and gives me a devilish grin. "Want me to carry you?"

Actually, I'd like that. But he doesn't need to know. He's just joking anyway. I think.

"No! That would just slow both of us down."

"Alright, then. If you say so."

He darts off again, and I mentally curse him for it. Can't he at least listen for once?

Damn you, Ash, I think, before chasing after him.

He stands at the corner, waiting for me. "C'mon, Z. Keep up."

"C'mon, Ash," I mock. "Slow down."
Just as I reach the spot where he's standing, I trip and fall to the ground, wincing as my knee scrapes the pavement. I try to stand but immediately fall back down again.

"Okay. That's it." He scoops me up and slings me over his shoulder, laughing to himself. Jerk.

"What the- put me down!" I demand, glaring at the ground. "Ashden, I swear to God-"
"Okay, okay." Still laughing, he gently sets me down.

I have to admit, I did kind of enjoy that.

*                                                                  *                                                         *
Thirty minutes later, we're sitting at a table in a dingy, dimly lit bar, waiting for the waitress to show us to the fighting place.
Ash casually puts his feet on the table, earning a glare from the bartender. I smirk.
Some things never change.

"Hello. How may I help you?" asks a tall blonde girl wearing a name tag that reads ' Pearl', enough perfume to suffocate the entire bar, and a lot of red lipstick.

Pretty. Clean, unlike me. Although if she works here, she can't be much better off than we are. I consider asking how she can afford makeup, but after a few seconds I decide I don't want to know.
I don't like the way Ash is looking at her.
I open my mouth to speak but Ash beats me to it.

"We're looking for the fighting place," he replies smoothly.

And for the first time in thirteen years, I feel like I don't belong.

"I can show you the way. For a price." Pearl's green eyes glint as they catch the light, and she seems almost vicious to me. Predatory, like a tiger about to pounce. Oh, God. What am I thinking? I'd only just met the girl. I focus back in on the conversation.

"Why don't we discuss payment somewhere more...private?'' she suggests.

"Okay." He gets up, his eyes still on Pearl. "C'mon, Z."

I take a deep breath and follow him out the back door, with Pearl in between us. 

As I pass Pearl, she hisses in my ear, " He doesn't want you, girlfriend."

I clench my hands into fists, and red-hot rage boils within me. How dare she? She doesn't even know us. this girl is in no position to pass judgement.
If she weren't our only way to the fighting place, I'd smack her. She deserves it.

"So." Ash leans against a brick wall, barely glancing at me before looking over at Pearl again. "The price."

"Ah, yes. The price." I didn't imagine that hungry glint in Pearl's eyes. "I would be happy to show you the way to the fighting place- for a kiss."

What? What did she just say? I'm frozen in shock. This is Ash, my Ash She's talking about, and...
And Ash was never mine in the first place. I should keep my mouth shut. It's not like he's going to accept that anyway. we can find it on our own.
"Deal," he says.
I shut my eyes and turn away as he steps across the distance between them and leans in.
He doesn't want you, girlfriend.

The words sting just as much as they did a few minutes ago, perhaps more. Because now I know they're true.

Then I turn and head towards ' home', smiling to myself.