She threw herself face down onto her bed in exasperation. She was seventeen and had never been kissed – never dated for that matter.  It was as if “17 And Alone” was tattooed on her forehead. Then again, nobody probably cared. But she did.

    What to do, what to do? She’d had the same crush for a year and a half now, and she felt as if she’d been thrown into a never ending rollercoaster. Emotionally drained and frustrated beyond belief, she rolled over onto her back and began a staring contest with her ceiling.

    It had started the summer before last while she was on a beach trip with her church youth group. Her friend had convinced her to go on a late night walk on the beach to look at the guys from other churches and rate them as they walked by. They were fifteen and obviously immature. However, it was a fun and harmless game. Well, in the beginning it was. Then, he walked by. Tall, blonde, cute beyond all get out, and had the most amazing singing voice they’d ever heard. He was walking towards them singing with one of his friends. She and her friends both said, “Ten,” without a second thought. As he got closer, they realized it was one of the guys in their grade from their church. Giggling in embarrassment, they ran ahead down the beach and forgot about the run-in.

    Skip ahead two months. She’s sixteen. She went as a volunteer for her church’s middle school fall retreat. She and the boy met again, talked, and got to know each other a little. Not enough to satisfy her, but enough to pique her curiosity.

    Skip ahead three months. He was in a Christmas play at his school. She went with her parents because he was in her dad’s small group at church. He performed wonderfully. She felt her emotions grow beyond curiosity. He called out a goodbye that made her blush.

    A few weeks pass. They plan a Christmas party together with a few others for their youth at church. They laugh and dance with their friends. He sings “Baby It’s Cold outside” to her in a way that makes her heart melt. He didn’t mean anything by it, she can tell, but if feels good to daydream about it.

    Two months and she decides to tell him. He starts dating someone an hour before she tries. She backs out with a “that’s great” and a “I’m happy for you”. The relationship ends badly.

    Things are quiet for the next four months. They go on the beach trip again. She swoons. He’s oblivious. They play in the water and he picks her up to toss her into the pool. He plays Keep Away with her sunglasses. He calls her over to sit at his table during meals. He invites her and her friends out to Waffle House for a two a.m. rendezvous. She’s fallen head-over-heels for him.

    Another few weeks pass. She goes places with her friends. They encourage her to speak up to him about her feelings. She blushes and stammers responses. She’s way too shy for something like that!

    It’s her first mission trip. Ten days in Colorado. Ten days with him. They reconnect on a new level of friendship for them. He goes out of his way to talk to her. He smiles at her from across the room. He sings with her in the group. He shows off. She blushes and tries to work up the courage. The trip ends.

    They text and see each other on Wednesdays and Sundays. They remain fast friends. She feels hopeful it’ll grow into more.

    School starts. Something goes wrong and he stops texting. He rarely answers her texts. He doesn’t acknowledge her in public. Did she do something wrong?

    She loses hope but can’t shake her feelings for him. She’s seventeen and yet feels too young to have to deal with these foreign feelings. It’s been one and a half years since she first noticed him. Should she give up? She has no courage to speak of. What to do, what to do?