NY NY (New York New York) Second Season. (1995-1996) Episode 13: House Warming Calamity. SCREENPLAY., a Humor story

Bizarre Misunderstanding 1.

Homage: This scene is replica to a bizarre scenario in the British sitcom Second Season Episode, episode of One Foot In The Grave,' In Luton Airport No-One Can Hear You Scream.' Victor and Margaret Meldrew move into their new home and there is a mis-communication, involving the House Warming Party invitations, which then involves Victor giving his guests the run around.

EXT. MANHATTAN. NYC
Night.

EXT. 119 PRINCE STREET
Harry and Tina's new Apartment, in the soHo neighbourhood in Lower Manhattan.

INT. HARRY AND TINA'S APARTMENT.
There is large open living room space and open Kitchen. The entire area inside is very spacious and very well coordinated. The apartment is very well decorated. The Kitchen has a buffet and drinks, ready for their House Warming Party. However, there are no guests present at this time and the room is very silent.

INT. HARRY WILSON
The Thirty Five Year Old, architect in a blue suit and grey tie, is seen looking frustrated and glancing at his watch. He swiftly walks from the Kitchen area with a glass of wine in his hand.

INT. TINA MCQUIRE
A Thirty Four Year Old, short hair Brunette, dressed in a white dress, is sat with her legs crossed, bouncing her right leg up and down in boredom.

Harry lets out a loud sigh, feeling anxious and worried nobody is gonna turn up to their party. Tina notices her future husband's frustration.

TINA
Sit down Harry, you'll wear the new carpet out.

In reluctance Harry sits down, tapping his wine glass.

HARRY
I can't help it. I thought your brother would have been here by now, with..
(thinking)

TINA
Helen.
(correcting Harry)
Most probably Helen is sniffing white powder, while she's putting her make up on.

Harry laughs at Tina's crude comment.

HARRY
You like her really.

Tina gives a not sure expression.

TINA
But, they're too alike. Well...
(hesitating)
Almost. I mean Greg's an alcoholic and she's a Hooker and a Druggie.

HARRY
She looks pretty decent, in regards to that anyway.

Tina gives Harry a disapproving look.

TINA
Yeah, I kind of noticed you were Ogling her last week, when we met her.

Harry defensively chuckles and holds his hands up.

HARRY
I think Greg thought that was kind of flattering. I mean...

Harry now starts to feel awkward, as he doesn't want to offend Tina, with her staring him out almost seriously.

HARRY
Never mind.

Harry changing the subject, again looks at his watch. There are still no sign of any guests. Harry agitated, gets back to his feet. There is moment of complete silence. Tina now starts to wonder, why nobody has shown up to their House Warming Party.

TINA
You did send the invitations out?

HARRY
Yes, of course I did.

Tina goes into deep thought.

TINA
I gave Lola's hers.

Harry too thinks momentarily.

HARRY
What about your Dad?

Tina frowns in relation to the fact, Harry has just come out with the most dumbest suggestion. Tina is absolutely shocked by her Partners mentality.

TINA
What - While he's in Prison?

Harry feels ridiculous and hits himself on the forehead.

HARRY
Shit. Sorry.

TINA
Yes, Harry. We'll have my estranged father round, with half of the Convicts of East Jersey State Prison in tow.
(sarcastic)

Harry doesn't acknowledge Tina's rant, as he seems foolish. He turns to look at the buffet, hoping the food doesn't go to waste. He then glances over to the drinks.

HARRY
Do you want a drink? Cocktail perhaps?

TINA
I'll wait 'til everybody gets here.

HARRY
That's if they get here?

TINA
They'll be here. Stop fretting.

Harry then starts to pace up and down, behind the Sofa, where Tina is sat. He does this about five times and this starts to annoy Tina, something stupid. It is an issue she doesn't have patience with.

TINA
Oh, for God sake Harry. Will you sit down and relax. You're walking up and down like a Boomerang.
It's not my fault...

SUDDENLY, LOUD MUSIC IS HEARD FROM OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT WINDOW.

This grabs Harry and Tina's attention. However, it's only Tina that walks towards the window, curiously. She looks down East Prince Street in the direction of where the Music is coming from.

'Let Me Hear You Say yeah (yeah)'The 1993 song 'No Limit,' by 2 Unlimited is playing - Loudly.

Tina tries to look far enough to see, where it's coming from. Then something catches Tina's eye. Something familiar.

TINA
Harry. Come here for a second.

Harry places his glass of wine down on the Kitchen table and walks over behind Tina and overlooks her shoulder to look out the window. She points towards where the music is coming from.

TINA
Is that Otto's Chevrolet Impala?

Harry moves his head further forward to get a better look, as it's dark.

HARRY
I believe it is.

Something else grabs Tina's attention.

TINA
There appears to be a load of people going into the apartments, where Rimowa is.

Suddenly, it soon dawns on Harry, where the party guests are. They've gone to the wrong address. Harry rolls his eyes and rubs Tina's shoulders.

HARRY
Stay here.

Harry leaves Tina in the apartment, so he can investigate.

EXT. PRINCE STREET. HARRY.
Harry reaches the apartment complexes, above the street shops and he glances at Otto's car parked up, before heading inside. The music still play's loudly and half the neighbourhood could possibly hear it.

'No, no, no no no no no no no no no no there's no limit
No, no no no no no no no no no no no there's no limit
No no limits we'll reach for the sky
No valley too deep, no mountain too high
NO no limits won't give up the fight
We do what we want and we do it with pride'

INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY.
Harry follows to where the noise is getting louder. He then sees an apartment door partially open and the noise of peoples muffled voices, which is heard behind the music playing.

The 1989 song 'Love Shack,' by B-52, starts to play.

'If You see a faded sign at the side of the road that says
Fifteen miles to the love shack, love shack yeah
I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway
Lookin for the love getaway
Headin for the love getaway, love getaway
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale
And we're headin' on down to the love shack
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money'

Harry slowly paces himself and cautiously towards the apartment, that's left open.

INT. 110 PRINCES STREET APARTMENT.
Around 20 Party goers are dancing to the B-52 song, which is being blasted out on a Boombox.

INT. HARRY WILSON.
Harry enters from a Hallway and sees his guests in another apartment, further down from his. He is gobsmacked and confused, as to why everyone else has mistakenly gone to another building.

INT. STEVEN WHITTAKER
Harry's Thirty Two Year Old best friend, dressed in a blue suit and red tie, is bopping to the Music.

INT. JENNY HART
Thirty Two Year Old Socialite , Fashion Designer and friend of Harry dancing with Steven.

INT. OTTO COLE
A Fifty Four Year Old, Former Wilson Lawyer, now new State Senator, sat on a sofa drinking Champagne, talking to a party goer.

INT. GREG MCQUIRE
Harry's Thirty Four Year Old future Brother In law, is also in attendance and drinking Soda Pop.

INT. HELEN WILDE
Greg's Twenty Eight Year Old, Girlfriend, in a purple dress and her hair in a bun, is in conversation with Greg, drinking a glass of wine.

Harry stops and looks around, still trying to comprehend the mishap. Steven is too distracted dancing, he steps back and accidently bumps into Harry. He turns rounds swiftly. He is pleased to see his companion.

STEVEN
Oh, there you are Harry. Was just saying to Jenny, you've made this apartment look practically brand new. It feels a real comfort. Great credit to you.

Harry again is lost for words, as everyone else is oblivious to the fact, they're not in Harry and Tina's new apartment, but somebody else's. Steven continues to bop.

HARRY
What's going on here?

INT. LOLA SHELDON
Tina's Thirty One Year Old best friend appears beind Harry, dressed in a Blue Blouse, Blue trousers and high heels. She too is holding a glass of champagne and eating a piece of caviar.

LOLA
Hi there Harry. I really like like, what you've done with the wall color. The emerald green really brightens the place up. It's good taste. Where is Tina by the way? Haven't had a chance to talk to her.

HARRY
What are you all doing here? This isn't my apartment. This is somebody else's.

Nobody is taking a blind bit of notice, as the music is rather loud.

'The love shack is a little old place where
we get together
Love shack baby
A love shack baby
Love shack, baby love shack (x3)'

Harry brushes past Lola, as he spots the owner of the apartment.

INT. AGWE CAMPBELL
A Forty One Year Old, Jamaican, with dread locks and wearing a pink suit and black shirt. He tries to distract Harry, while he's blasts out his Boombox.

AGWE
Harry man. Where ya been Brother?

INT. OLD MAN.
Around Eighty Years Old. Sat down cheerfully, holding a glass of Sherry in his hand.

Harry rushes up to him, demanding answers, as to why he allowed his guests into his apartment.

HARRY
Excuse me, do you live here?

OLD MAN
Yes.

Harry points to the guests.

HARRY
This is my party. These are my guests, who have come to my house warming party.

OLD MAN
They all brought their drinks and presents around for me. I thought they were my long lost children and grand children.

Harry gasps at the old mans claims and is left astonished, also in a negative way.

HARRY
You can't be serious?

Harry is nearly at his wits end and he turns his attention, back to his guests. He waves his hands to them, to try get their attention.

HARRY
Hello! Can I have your attention please?!

The guests continue to party. Harry losing patience dashes over to Agwe's Boombox and switches it off. The room falls into abrupt silence and all the guests groan, thinking Harry is a party pooper. Harry walks in between Lola and Steven. He gets the guests attention.

HARRY
Listen, there has been a mistake here everyone.

Steven frowns in confusion.

STEVEN
Mistake - what do you mean?

HARRY
You see, I don't live in this apartment.

LOLA
Well, what did you buy it for then?

Harry hesitates momentarily, as he finds Lola's question rather silly.

HARRY
I didn't buy it. I bought a place down the street.

Otto sits up on the sofa.

OTTO
Why are you having a party here?

HARRY
Sorry?
(not quite hearing)

OTTO
Why are you holding a House warming party in somebody else's Apartment?

Steve interrupts chuckling.

STEVEN
He probably didn't want anybody to mess up his new carpet.

Everybody laughs. However, Harry isn't in the mood for joking.

HARRY
It's perfectly obvious. You've misread the invitation somehow.

The guests groan again and Lola shakes her head in disagreement. She takes out her invitation, inside her handbag and shows it to Harry.

LOLA
No, no. This is 110 Prince Street isn't that right?

Harry argues his case and points at the number on Lola's invitation.

HARRY
What are you talking about Lola? That's 119.

LOLA
That's never a 9 in a month of Sunday's.

HARRY
That's a 9.

Even Steven agrees with Lola and disagrees with Harry, as he looks at his invitation.

STEVEN
No. Nobody does a 9 like that.
(He shows the invitation to Otto)
Would you say that was a 9?

Otto shakes his head. Steven takes out a pen and corrects what looks like a zero to a nine.

STEVEN
That's a 9. That's a 0. That's definitely not a 9.

Jenny leans forward over the Sofa.

JENNY
Well, he's always had trouble with his Nine's. They come out like whirl pools.

Helen stood next to Greg, queries her invitation as well.

HELEN
Yeah. His 'H's aren't much better. They look more like M's. For a moment I thought it said 'Mouse Warming Party.'

All the guests burst into laughter, by Helen's quirky joke. He feels everyone is mocking him. He attempts to get people to see things his way.

HARRY
What do you mean, 'Mouse Warming Party?' Listen, why don't we just go to my apartment and leave this Gentleman in peace.

Everybody groans again, but reluctantly all agree to be escorted to Harry and Tina's new apartment. Harry exits via the Hallway, as everybody follows on. The elderly man is left all alone and somber. Harry appears to have crashed his own party. The Old man is nearly brought to tears.

OLD MAN
I was enjoying that.
( to himself)

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