It was a peaceful, quiet Saturday afternoon in Mitsuzawa. The sun was shining, the rivers were calm, and a soft breeze drifted through the trees overhead. All across the city, people were headed this way or that way, going about their daily lives without a care in the world. It was a perfect day, after all.

Of course, if it had stayed perfect, that would have been a pretty boring way to start the new series.

Over in one of the downtown parks, the fragile peace was suddenly shattered. A black tear appeared in mid-air, and through it crawled a strange millipede-like creature, ten feet long, dripping with black slime, and with a single bloodshot red eye. The monster blinked, surveying its new surroundings with visible confusion, then swivelled its red eye in the direction of a young man sitting on a nearby bench, typing out something on his phone.

Sensing he was being watched, the man paused, looked up from his phone for a moment, then shrugged indifferently. "Meh," he muttered, turning his attention back to his social media posts. "The StarLight Trio will take care of it."

***

Indeed, at that very moment, the StarLight Trio were on their way to the scene, having been alerted by their youkai familiars. That is to say, two-thirds of the Trio were on their way.

"Where's the new girl?" asked Black Star indignantly, glancing across at her colleague as they flew towards the park. "I hope Chika isn't holding her up again."

White Star wasn't anywhere near as concerned, beaming happily as the wind rushed through her hair. "She's at a karaoke party today," she explained. "I already texted her twice, but I dunno whether she saw them. To be honest, I'm pretty glad this happened: it keeps up the dramatic tension regarding who got Red Moon’s Emblem!"

"I guess so," conceded Black Star. "You seem in pretty bright spirits today," she added, noting her team-mate's bright expression.

"Of course I am!" said White Star. "We finally get a Season 2! Even the greats like Cowboy Bebop never got a Season 2!"

"There's a narrative reason for that," remarked Black Star drily.

Below them, the hideous millipede monster drew closer. The girls' grips tightened around their wands. "Ready for battle, Amaya?" asked White Star.

Black Star's expression changed into a determined grin. "I was born ready," she said.

The two magical girls swooped down into the park, landing neatly in front of the monster, wands poised. The man on his phone looked up, smiled with relief, and switched to his phone's camera app. "Wow, that was quick," he mumbled to himself.

Noticing the man filming her, White Star happily assumed a heroic pose, holding her wand aloft. A three-member team meant a new three-part catchphrase. "Time to let the light of justice shine-" she began.

"-banish the forces of darkness-" continued Black Star.

A few seconds of awkward silence followed, during which White Star remembered that they were one member short. "...and so on," she finished quietly, her pose slackening for a moment.

"STARLIGHT TRIO- uhh, duo... STARLIGHT DUO, GO!" shouted both girls in unison.

"We need to work on our choreography," added Black Star.

The monster wasn’t too impressed by the duo’s entrance either. Rearing up on its numerous hind legs, it began to spit jet-black slime at them. White Star backflipped out of the way of the slime globs, while Black Star merely conjured up a spherical shield against which the slime harmlessly splattered.

Neither of these approaches worked for very long. As the slime barrage continued, soon Black Star’s shield was so covered with slime that she could no longer see. “This seemed like a better idea at the time,” she mused.

Meanwhile, White Star continues to acrobatically dodge the monster’s slime attacks until she backflipped straight into a hedge, crashing through the undergrowth. “Owww... oh hey, there’s a bird in here!” she remarked.

“This isn’t working!” said Black Star. “We need to do something about its slime attack!”

White Star popped her head out of the bush, a bird perched neatly on top of her hat. “Gee, you think?” she replied. As yet another glob of slime shot towards her head, she quickly ducked back down into the bush, then peered out from amongst the leaves. “You distract it. I’ll take care of its mouth.”

Black Star waved her arms to try and attract the monster’s attention, but this had no effect, hidden as she was behind a wall of black slime. Sighing, she raised her wand and instead bellowed, “Distraction Attack!” A white ball of light shot out of her wand, soared high into the air, then exploded in a tremendous shower of coloured sparks. The entire park was illuminated, and everyone within turned their attention to the skies, including the monster.

“Nice going, Black Star!” said White Star. “Now it’s my turn!” Poking her wand out of the bush, she yelled, “String Shot!”, and a long white thread snaked out of the wand’s tip and wrapped itself tightly around the monster’s mouth. Undeterred, the monster tried to continue its slime-spitting, but the globs steadily backed up, filling its jaw until its head inflated to comical proportions. Finally, the monster’s head exploded, scattering black slime across the field; Black Star, having just dismissed her shield, had to rapidly put it back up again to avoid being coated. The now-headless monster swayed, then fell to the ground with a thud.

White Star emerged from the bush, pulling twigs out of her lilac hair. “’Lilac’? I’d say it’s more like a light violet colour,” she said.

“Who are you talking to?” White Star’s familiar, Kousen, had finally caught up to her, perching herself on top of the bush with wings unfurled. “And anyway, your hair is purple.”

“No, the narrator was right,” said Black Star, folding her arms. “It may be a bit of a flowery description – literally – but it’s also definitely the most accurate.”

By now, Black Star’s familiar Kage had also caught up with the group, hovering overhead with the traditional can of beer clutched in her hand. “Yo, I hate to interrupt your discussion on colour theory,” she said, “but that monster isn’t actually dead yet. Its head’s growing back. Also, the heck is a lilac?”

White Star and Black Star turned in horror to see that Kage was right. The monster’s head was regenerating, and while it was dazed for now, it would soon be back to spitting horrid slime at everything in sight. “Right, of course,” said White Star. “Monsters can only be killed by Finishing Moves. It’s been so long since Season 1 ended that I forgot.”

Black Star raised her Wand, but as the headless monster thrashed around, she found it difficult to aim. “Come on, White Star!” she said. “Let’s do this together!”

White Star nodded, aimed her own wand, and the two girls yelled, “Finishing Move: StarLight Beam!” Two beams of light burst out of their wands, one white, one black, and they combined in mid-air to form a blinding silver beam that tore straight through the millipede monster’s body. The creature screamed, then dissolved into nothing, leaving its Black Heart behind. There was a burst of applause from the man sat on the park bench, and then a blissful silence.

“Well, that went pretty well,” said Black Star, adjusting the hem of her skirt. “Think I’ve still got a little rust to shake off after the hiatus.”

White Star, meanwhile, was now pulling twigs out of the frills of her dress. “I think we all do,” she said. “Man, these twigs got everywhere! I hope the next monster doesn’t spawn near any bushes.”

A sudden voice caught the girls’ attention: “Heeeeey~!” White Star and Black Star looked up in time to witness the arrival of the third part of their trio: Blue Moon. She set herself down before them, holding down the hem of her cyan-and-white dress to avoid accidentally flashing her team-mates, then smiled up at them with mismatched eyes. “Sorry I’m late,” she said, “I didn’t hear my phone go off. So, what’d I miss?”  

2: Episode 1: Three Is The Magic Number (Part 2)

TWO DAYS AFTER THE DEFEAT OF RED MOON

"Huh? You want me to have it?!"

Hitomi looked down at the Red Moon Emblem with astonishment. White Star was holding it out to her to take, a warm smile on her face. "We thought long and hard about who to give it to," she said, glancing across at Black Star, "and we decided you were the most qualified candidate. No offence, you three," she added, turning her attention to Nagisa, Mio, and Hinata.

It was after-school, and the White Star Fan Club had assembled as usual at their club room. White Star and Black Star, however, had hijacked the meeting to serve as an unofficial handing-over ceremony for the Red Moon Emblem. This had meant revealing their identities as a sign of trust, and while ordinarily the other Fan Club members might have questioned why Hitomi was receiving the Emblem over them, at that moment they were too busy reeling from the revelation.

"I still can't believe you were a Fan Club member this whole time, and none of us realised," said Nagisa.

"I still can't believe you were friends and enemies at the same time..." said Hinata.

"I still can't believe I almost bought an H-game with you in it!" said Mio, her face bright red. "I feel so unclean... I need to do some serious character development this season!"

"More like character rerailment," remarked Nagisa. "You were supposed to be the smart one, right?"

Speaking of rerailment, White Star took it upon herself to get the conversation back on topic. "Anyway," she said, "we tried asking the audience, but we only got about four votes and they were all for different characters, so we had to cast a tie-breaker. We went with you. So, will you join us, Hitomi? Will you become the new Red Moon?"

Hitomi's mismatched eyes sparkled with delight. She looked from White Star to the Emblem and back again, and then with a bright smile on her face, declared, "Nope!"

White Star was so surprised that she nearly dropped both the Emblems she was holding. "Seriously?!" she exclaimed. "I was sure you'd say yes!"

"Well, normally I would," said Blue Moon, "but red just isn't my colour. It'd clash horribly with my hair and my eyes. Couldn't you make it blue or something?"

Kousen, hovering over White Star's shoulder as usual, groaned and shook her head. "Honestly," she muttered. "And I thought White Star was being petty when she said her hair looked stupid. But if you insist..."

Kousen waved her hand, and the Red Moon Emblem turned a bright aqua blue. This was enough to appease Hitomi. "Perfect!" she said. "I will now happily become the new Blue Moon!"

Hitomi took the Emblem from White Star, and in an instant she was engulfed in a brilliant blue light. Her school clothes morphed into a knee-length sky-blue dress, with dark blue frills on the edges, and a dark blue ribbon tied neatly around her waist. Similar ribbons appeared at the base of her twintails, and at the tops of her kneesocks. Her shoes transformed into dark blue stiletto heels, causing her to wobble briefly as she adjusted her balance. Finally, her Emblem extended itself into the Blue Moon Wand, and her transformation into Blue Moon was complete.

Blue Moon wobbled again, taking a tentative step in her unfamiliar footwear. "Oh boy, this is gonna take some getting used to," she remarked. "No use looking this cute if I'm in hospital with a twisted ankle." She looked down at herself, tugging at the hem of her dress, trying to gauge its appearance. "It does look cute, right? Does anyone have a mirror I-"

The rest of her question was cut off by a piercing cry. Hinata squealed and curled up into a ball, while the others looked up at the source of the disturbance. Red Moon had been released from her Emblem, still in the middle of her final defiant "NOOOOO!". As she began to realise where she was, her cry petered out, and she blinked in confusion for a moment before letting out a derisive snort. "Hah! I told you pathetic humans that you couldn't possibly seal me away!" she sneered. "Your final gambit has failed, and I-"

Red Moon's expression then flipped from triumphant to befuddled. "This isn't where we were before," she said slowly. "Where's my Emblem?" She looked down, and saw Blue Moon waving sheepishly up at her, and the colour drained from her face. "...oh."

"You know the rules," said Kousen, floating over with her arms folded. "You are bonded to Hitomi until death do you part."

Red Moon raised her sharp nails. "That can be arranged," she snarled, and she dived at Blue Moon. Blue Moon flinched, but the youkai passed right through her, then through the floor, and was about twenty feet beneath the ground before she finally realised what had happened and slowed to a stop. Reluctantly, she floated back the way she had come, up into the White Star Fan Club room.

"--did you have to phrase it like that, though?" Blue Moon was protesting. "'You're bonded until death do you part'? We're not getting married."

"Semantically speaking, I was correct," said Kousen.

"I don't know what a 'semantically' is!" said Blue Moon. "Stop using big words!"

Red Moon cleared her throat to grab the room's attention. Hinata, who had stood back up again, immediately shrieked and went back to huddling. Red Moon knew what needed to be done, and with a look of mixed anger and disgust, she knelt before Blue Moon. "Kousen is right," she said, her voice hushed. "From now on... you are my master. You may address me as Chika. I look forward to the day your pathetic mortal life ends and I can be free again."

Blue Moon scowled. "Gee, you sure are a bundle of sunshine," she remarked. "I thought magical girl familiars were supposed to be supportive and encouraging?"

"Nope," said White Star.

"Not in the slightest," said Black Star.

Chika nodded. "Sounds like we're stuck with each other, then," she said.

***

THE PRESENT DAY

Blue Moon groaned as the flashback finally came to an end. "I knew all that already," she said. "That's what the audience missed. I asked what I missed."

"Well, not much," said White Star. "Monster showed up, monster blowed up, I backflipped into a hedge... standard procedure, really."

Blue Moon giggled. "At the very least, I wish I could've been here to see you backflip into a hedge," she remarked. "That would've been hilarious."

"Not for me it wasn't," said White Star. "I'm still pulling twigs out of my stupid drills!"

"They're not stupid!" said Kousen. "Anyway, on a more positive note..." Kousen floated down and picked up the monster's fallen Black Heart. "...I make this thirty-four Black Hearts. Thirty-seven are required to be able to forge an Emblem. We have almost reached the point where I can create a new Emblem, granting you a fourth teammate."

This improved White Star's mood significantly. "Oh, sweet!" she exclaimed. "More new characters! I wonder who we'd give a fourth Emblem to, though...?"

Blue Moon dismissively waved a hand. "Let's worry about that after it's been forged!" she said. "For now, let's look forward to getting those last three Black Hearts!"

3: Episode 1: Three Is The Magic Number (Part 3)

While the StarLight Trio waited for the next monster to appear, their daily lives carried on as normal. Sanae woke up on Monday morning to an empty house, with her parents away on their usual archaeological digs. Unfazed, she got up, showered, changed, and ate her breakfast, before bidding the empty house goodbye and heading off to school with Kousen in tow.

Amaya woke to a house that may as well have been empty. Her mother had stayed up playing Underwatch until she could no longer keep her eyes open, and lay fast asleep on the sofa with the game's menu screen still flickering on the flat-screen TV before her. Until recently, Amaya would have looked upon the scene with scorn, but her heart had softened since she had teamed up with White Star. She switched off the TV and console, draped a blanket over her mother, and wished her goodnight before leaving the house with Kage in tow.

Hitomi bounded out of bed five minutes before her alarm went off and rushed downstairs for breakfast. By the time the rest of her family had woken up and trudged downstairs, Hitomi had already finished and dashed back to her room. The end result of this haste was that when she arrived at Mitsuzawa High, she was over forty minutes early and there was barely anyone else present. "Darn," she said, staring at the empty schoolyard. "I did it again."

Sanae, Amaya, Kousen and Kage passed through the gates a considerable time later, and found the yard much busier than it had been when Hitomi had arrived. Picking the short first-year out of the crowd would have been almost impossible if not for her bright cyan twintails: the perks of being an anime protagonist. "Now hold on a second," objected Amaya. "I'm an anime protagonist, and my hair is black. It doesn't stand out at all."

"Yeah, but you're the only person at school who wears a hat," said Sanae, pointing to Amaya's beret. "Besides, hair dye is a thing. Card Game Guy's a natural brunette." With that, Sanae headed off to meet up with Hitomi, leaving Amaya to wonder how it was possible for Card Game Guy to dye his hair three different colours at once.

As Sanae drew close, she waved to catch Hitomi's attention. "Good morning, Hitomi!" she said. "How long have you been waiting?"

Hitomi checked her smartphone. "Half an hour?!" she exclaimed. "I really need to change my alarm. Or stop eating sweets before bed. One of the two. Probably the first one."

"Why not both, just to be safe?" suggested Amaya, who'd just finished muscling her way through the crowd to join them. Glancing up at the empty sky above Hitomi's head, she added, "Anyway, how come Chika isn't with you? I get that she hates humans, but doesn't she wonder where you go every day?"

"Nope," said Hitomi. "I mean, she doesn't even live with me, she just comes running whenever there's a monster attack."

Sanae looked almost alarmed to hear this, but Amaya folded her arms and nodded. "That seems sensible," she said. "I dread to think what kind of problems she'd cause for your family. But in that case, where does she live?"

Hitomi grinned at the brilliance of the impending punchline. "The one place no human in Mitsuzawa would ever go," she said.

***

MITSUZAWA GYM
AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT

With a curious look, Chika picked up the handle of a rowing machine, pulled it as far back as it would go, then let go and watched it snap back into place. Chika looked around to see if a secret passage had opened, or some mechanical death trap had sprung to life, but nothing seemed to have happened at all. "No wonder the humans never come here," she said. "They have given up on trying to comprehend these arcane contraptions."

***

Monday passed without incident, but Sanae was certain that it would not stay quiet for long. "We haven't introduced the series' hook yet," she remarked to Kousen that night. "Something will probably come along after the next jump cut or two."

"I'm not sure I understand what a 'series hook' is," said Kousen, "but you do have a point. Monsters appear to be showing up more frequently as of late. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say that the increased concentration of chi in Mitsuzawa is drawing more monsters here."

"Works for me," said Sanae. "We wouldn't have a series otherwise. How long do you reckon we'll have to wait until the next one shows up?"

Kousen shrugged. "I have no idea," she said. "They're not exactly predictable events. Maybe... a week or so?"

***

THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON

Kousen's estimate turned out to be somewhat conservative. On Tuesday afternoon, as Sanae was walking home from school, Kousen swooped down in front of her with an all-too-familiar look of concern. "I'm detecting a monster," she said. "Somewhere to the east of here."

Sanae switched to business mode in a heartbeat. "How powerful is it?" she asked.

"About average," said Kousen. "It shouldn't be any problem for the three of you."

"Sounds good to me!" said Sanae. "Here goes nothing!" She fished the White Star Emblem out of her pocket, and at once she was engulfed in a blinding white light. Her school uniform morphed into a beautiful white knee-length dress with violet lace trim. White thigh-high socks and high-heeled shoes gently enveloped her feet and legs, the straps of the shoes winding their way delicately up her shins. White gloves manifested themselves on her hands, and as the Emblem transformed into the White Star Wand, she clutched it tightly in her right hand. Finally, her hair curled itself into two neat ringlets either side of her head, and her transformation into White Star was complete.

Kicking up off the ground, White Star flew off eastwards, keeping a sharp eye out for any disturbances. Within moments, Black Star and Blue Moon were flying alongside her, having also been alerted. "Here we go!" said Blue Moon, enthusiastic as ever. "Black Heart number 35!"

"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched," said Black Star, grounded as ever. "Or destroyed by giant laser beams, or whatever."

"Oh, come on, Amaya, lighten up!" said White Star. "We've never failed before, have we?" Chika quietly cleared her throat, and White Star added, "When fighting a monster, that is."

"I'd lighten up if you stopped throwing event flags all over the place," Black Star muttered.

White Star looked down at the armful of flags she was carrying, then back across at Black Star. "What?" she asked, tossing another flag over her shoulder. "They came free in my cereal box, I gotta get rid of them somehow."

***

On the street below, a short, pink-haired girl was making her way home from school when one of White Star's discarded event flags fell from the sky and bounced neatly off her head. Wincing, she knelt down and picked up the flag, staring at it with confusion. "What is this?" she wondered. "Where did it come from...?"

***

Blue Moon was about to ask what cereal White Star had been eating, when she spotted something that was slightly more important than cereal. "Look over there!" she said, pointing forty-five degrees to their right. "That sofa store is holding its biggest-ever sale! Also, the monster is attacking!"

"Yeah, right," said White Star sarcastically. "They always say it's their 'biggest-ever sale', and then next week they have an even bigger one. What a rip-off."

A nudge from Kousen reminded White Star of the issue at hand, and she and her colleagues dived down to confront the monster. Perched on top of the sofa store's roof, tugging idly at the slate tiles, was a slim ape-like creature, roughly three feet in height. Its fur seemed lighter in colour than the usual pitch-black hue of the monsters, but was streaked with the same crimson markings, and the aura radiating from it was as dark as ever.

The trio landed neatly on the roof in front of the monster, assuming their usual heroic poses. "Time to let the light of justice shine-" began White Star.

"-banish the forces of darkness-" continued Black Star.

"-and some other third thing!" finished Blue Moon.

"Go, StarLight Trio!" said all three in unison.

4: Episode 1: Three Is The Magic Number (Part 4)

Having completed their introduction, the girls braced themselves for an attack from the ape monster. But it did not come. The monster did not even acknowledge their presence, and simply continued stripping the tiles off the roof, one at a time. White Star cast uncertain glances at her colleagues. “Is it... ignoring us?” she asked.

“Just like the rest of SparkaTale!” joked Blue Moon.

Black Star shot Blue Moon a fierce glare. “No,” she said, “we’re not doing the self-deprecating jokes anymore. 2018 is the year of positivity.”

“I thought 2018 was the year of eating laundry detergent,” said Blue Moon, “but okay.”

The ape monster continued to blank them, and White Star had run out of patience. “Hey!” she called out. “We’re your enemies! Look at us when we’re posing at you!” Pulling out one of her event flags, White Star took aim and hurled it at the monster.

The flag bounced off the ape monster’s head and clattered to the floor in front of it, and this was enough to draw its attention away from the roof tiles. In a matter of seconds, its demeanour changed entirely; it glared up at the girls, let out a piercing shriek, then leapt at Blue Moon, grappling with her. Blue Moon squealed, almost losing her footing, and struggled to try and pull the ape free without losing her balance. “Get him off me!” she cried. “Get him off me!”

Black Star instinctively raised her wand, but White Star seized her arm and pulled it away. “Not like that!” she said. “You might hit Blue Moon!”

“Then what do you propose?” asked Black Star.

White Star gave her friend a look that plainly said, “Are you kidding me?”, then strode across the rooftop and grabbed the ape monster by the scruff of the neck. With a sharp tug, the monster was pulled free of Blue Moon and sent tumbling across the rooftop.

However, White Star’s rescue had an unintended consequence. At the last second, the ape monster had snatched at Blue Moon’s wand, and as it was yanked away, its hand caught on the wand and sent it spinning away out of Blue Moon’s grip. White Star and Black Star looked on in horror as Hitomi reverted back to her normal self. “Well, that wasn’t supposed to happen,” said Hitomi.

“Quick!” cried Kousen. “Get the Emblem!” White Star dived forward, but the monster was closer, and pounded on the wand with both hands. Immediately, both wand and monster began to glow a dark, menacing blue, as the chi contained within began to charge the monster’s Black Heart.

“This is bad,” said White Star. She was about to exposit why this was bad when she realised that there was no time: talking was not a free action in this scenario. She had to do something. Grabbing the Blue Moon Wand tightly with both hands, she pulled with all her might, trying to yank it away from the monster’s grasp, but the monster was more prepared this time, and with each ounce of chi that it absorbed, its grip grew stronger and stronger.

“Come on, let go already!” cried White Star, and in desperation she launched a kick at the monster’s face. The blow was enough to slacken its grip, and White Star finally pulled the wand free, but she was far too late. The monster had already absorbed its fill of chi, and its ape-like body glowed a brilliant blue.

Lightning began to crackle along its fur, and before their very eyes, its form began to change. Its body swelled into a more humanoid for, almost three times its previous size, the fur giving way to bulging muscle. Its head grew a pointed chin, two long, curling horns, and red eyes that shone even through the glow of its transformation.

The blue light faded, and the StarLight Trio beheld their new nemesis. He – no longer 'it' – towered above them, eight feet tall, his purple-grey skin studded with black and red markings. Bursts of chi continued to crackle across his skin, as even this new form struggled to contain the sheer amount of power he had absorbed. Of all the foes they had faced, this beast was by far the most intimidating – but then he spoke, and the illusion was shattered, for his voice sounded as though he had inhaled several helium balloons.

"Thank you for that wonderful chi," he declared. "I will repay your gift of sentience by-- holy crap, is that really what my voice sounds like? It doesn't suit me at all." The monster frowned, scratched his pointed chin, then muttered "I'll just have to work with it" and continued. "As I was saying, I will repay your gift of sentience... by killing you all and enslaving your world! I have evolved beyond man and monster, and soon I will reign supreme over all three realms!"

The Starlight Trio were significantly less fazed than they had been ten seconds ago. White Star tossed the Blue Moon Wand over her shoulder to Hitomi, who caught it and transformed back into Blue Moon. Black Star folded her arms, trying not to chuckle. “That’s what they all say, buddy,” she said.

"I am not your buddy!" retorted the monster. "I am your new arch-nemesis! The new scourge of your world! And I shall be called..." The monster paused again, his newly-awakened brain trying to generate a name befitting his magnificence. "...Prince... no, King! King... death... murder! Yes! From this moment on, the world will cower in fear before... King Deathmurder!"

This pronouncement did not have the desired effect. Far from cowering in fear, the StarLight Trio looked on for a moment in dumbstruck silence, then collapsed with laughter. "Hahaha! What the hell kinda chuunibyou name is 'King Deathmurder'?!" chortled Black Star.

"He sounds like an angry gerbil!" gasped Blue Moon between bursts of high-pitched laughter. "The angriest gerbil!"

White Star climbed back to her feet, still chuckling and clutching her sides. "I'm sorry, Mr. Deathmurder..." Her cheeks ballooned with suppressed laughter and she had to clap her hand over her mouth for a moment. "...but between the name and the voice, we just can't take you seriously as an opponent!"

King Deathmurder frowned and folded his arms. "Then I suppose I will have to make you," he said.

The StarLight Trio assumed their regular battle poses. "Bring it on, Alvin!" quipped Blue Moon. A second later, King Deathmurder's fist connected with her face in an uppercut that sent her soaring into the air and out of sight, screaming all the while. Her two teammates nearly dropped their Emblems in shock as they watch her vanish into the horizon.

Black Star was the first to recover her senses. "Right, that does it!" she snarled, aiming her wand at King Deathmurder's chest. "Prepare to die! Black Star Beam!"

A black beam of light erupted from the end of her wand, hitting King Deathmurder squarely between the abs. Nothing happened. King Deathmurder did not even appear to notice the beam until he looked down and saw the energy fizzling harmlessly across his chest. "Oh, was that meant to be an attack?" he squeaked. "I couldn't even feel it."

King Deathmurder reached out, grabbed the beam of energy, and swung it hard over his head. Black Star was yanked through the air and had no time to react before she was slammed straight through the roof, sending pieces of shattered tile flying all over the place.

***

At that precise moment, inside the sofa store, an elderly woman was gingerly lowering herself into a small leather recliner. A female shop assistant watched on, a little anxious to hear the woman’s verdict. “Well? What do you think?”

The elderly woman leaned back in the chair and sighed. “Oh my, it’s very comfortable,” she said. “And the reclining will really come in handy when my back and hip are playing up. Goodness knows it can be painful, but a chair like this would really—”

CRASH. The ceiling above was torn open as Black Star hurtled through it, and she plummeted straight into the helpless shop assistant, knocking them both out and leaving them sprawled across the floor. The elderly woman jumped in her seat, then sighed and shook her head. “Oh goodness,” she remarked. “That’s how my poor husband died.”

***

Back on the rooftop, White Star began to sense that this was not a fight that she could win. But what could she do except try? Giving up was unbecoming of an anime protagonist, and in any case, her teammates would not be best pleased if she fled with her tail between her legs while they had been knocked unconscious. White Star raised her wand, putting on a brave face. "My turn," she said.

Exactly five seconds later, White Star crashed head-first into a hedge over a mile away. She had managed to remain conscious and holding her Emblem, but was in quite a lot of pain, and feeling more than a little humiliated. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," she groaned. "The hedge again?"

5: Episode 1: Three Is The Magic Number (Part 5)

Exactly five seconds later, White Star crashed head-first into a hedge over a mile away. She had managed to remain conscious and holding her Emblem, but was in quite a lot of pain, and feeling more than a little humiliated. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," she groaned. "The hedge again?"

There was a rustling beside her, and Blue Moon's head popped out of the hedge. "Oh, hi Sanae!" she said. "Fancy seeing you here! Wow, you weren't kidding about the twigs, huh?" she added, examining one of her twintails.

White Star groaned again, then managed to push her own head up and out of the undergrowth. "Yeah," she said. "I'm gonna need a shower after this... and a whole lotta Tylenol."

"I'm fine," said Blue Moon, "I just wished myself healed. Here, I'll do you as well." Blue Moon raised her wand and declared, "Sanae Needs Healing!"

A soft white glow surrounded White Star, and at once she felt as though she had been submerged in a hot bubble bath. Her aches and pains gradually faded to nothing, and with renewed vigour, she pulled herself out of the hedge. “Thanks,” she said, extending a hand to Blue Moon. Blue Moon took it, and White Star tugged her free of the hedge.

Now that her wounds had been healed, White Star was able to think more clearly, and a thought occurred to her. "Hey, weren't you thrown in the other direction?" she asked.

Blue Moon shrugged. "King Deathmurder apparently grabbed a beam of pure energy and swung it over his head," she said. "I'm guessing the laws of physics are out the window this series. Actually, on that note, what're we gonna do about him? He's way too strong for us to stop, and we can't do the thing you guys did with Chika!" She paused, then added, "Can we?"

"I'm afraid not." Kousen's voice floated down from above them, and the pair looked up to see her, Kage, and Chika all descending towards them. Kage was carrying the unconscious Amaya, a mixture of concern and irritation on her face.

Chika, however, was bursting with barely-concealed glee. "Well, this all feels very familiar," she remarked, glancing across at Kage. "'We've never been defeated before', you were saying?"

"Yes, I am aware of the concept of dramatic irony, thank you," said White Star, folding her arms. "You were saying, Kousen?"

Kousen did not look happy about Chika interrupting her exposition. White Star had to admit, Chika had had a point: this all did feel rather familiar. "I was saying that the sealing trick only works on youkai," she said. "It doesn't work on monsters, otherwise you could simply seal monsters inside your Emblems rather than destroying them. In any case, King Deathmurder, as he calls himself, is too powerful now. He has absorbed too much of Blue Moon's chi. The three of you aren’t strong enough to defeat him at present.”

Kousen’s choice of words did not escape White Star’s notice. “So what you’re saying is,” she said, “if we keep fighting and growing stronger, and forge more Emblems to get more allies, then we’ll be able to defeat him?”

“Almost certainly,” said Kousen. “There is strength in numbers, and all of you have yet to reach your full potential. It pains me to say it, but for now we must bide our time, improve our skills, and do whatever we can to stop King Deathmurder from wreaking havoc on Mitsuzawa.”

White Star grinned. “Sounds like a season-long story arc to me!” she said. “Alrighty then! Come the season finale, he’ll get what’s coming to him! For now, though, I guess it’s... back to ordinary student life?”

“Well, for Sleeping Beauty here, it’s back to the hospital, nyaa~” said Kage, cradling Amaya in her arms. “She needs to recover after that fall.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” said Blue Moon, “I got it.” She raised her staff, declared, “Amaya Needs Healing!”, and another white glow surrounded Amaya. Her injuries melted away, and her eyes slowly flickered open.

Amaya stretched her arms and groaned. “Nngh... I had this weird dream where Sanae goofed up and we all got our asses kicked,” she said.

“Oh, no, that wasn’t a dream,” said Chika with a sly grin. “That actually did happen. It was very enjoyable to watch, too.”

White Star withered under Amaya’s piercing glare. “H-hey,” she said, “look on the bright side! We’ve got a brand new villain for this series! That’s good, right?”

Amaya did not look impressed as she hopped from Kage’s arms back to terra firma. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I didn’t realise having villains running around was considered a good thing.”

“Well, maybe not in the short term,” admitted White Star, “but it’s definitely a good thing story-wise. It gives us an overarching storyline, something to aim for.”

“Hmm... I guess you’ve got a point,” said Amaya. “So what do we do now? Wait for King Deathmurder to make his next move?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” said White Star. “No point rushing back over there and getting our asses kicked a second time. We’re gonna get stronger, gain new allies, foil whatever evil plans King Deathmurder happens to come up with, and then come the season finale, we’re gonna show him who’s boss!”

Blue Moon, meanwhile, had been picking twigs out of her twintails. “I wonder what King Deathmurder’s first plan is going to be?” she wondered aloud.

An awkward moment of silence ensued, as the girls and their youkai exchanged confused glances. “Don’t look at us,” said White Star. “We don’t know either.”

“I know,” said Blue Moon. “It’s just that usually, whenever I ask something like that, it cuts to the answer.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too,” said White Star. “I wonder why it didn’t happen on this occasion...?”

***

There was a simple reason that the narrative hadn’t cut to King Deathmurder preparing his first plan: King Deathmurder himself didn’t know what that plan was going to be. Having only achieved sentience ten minutes ago, his understanding of villainy was very limited, and while he could easily have subjugated half of Mitsuzawa by this time, he was instead still sat on the roof of the sofa store, mulling things over.

“I’m pretty sure those magical girls are still alive,” he mumbled to himself. “Do I go after them? Whatever plan I come up with, they’re sure to try and interfere. But what am I planning for? What’s my goal? Taking over the city? The world? And doing what with them?” King Deathmurder rubbed his forehead. Being a villain was harder than he had expected.

A building off to the right caught his attention. Roughly half a mile away was the city’s main library, its shelves teeming with books. King Deathmurder leapt from the roof, his feet punching craters in the ground as he landed, sinking him ankle-deep into the asphalt. “I think I know where to start,” he said. Clumsily stepping out of the crater – he was not quite used to his elongated limbs yet – King Deathmurder began to make his way through the streets towards the library.

6: Episode 2: A Beginner's Guide to Evil (Part 1)

"Excuse me," said King Deathmurder. "Do you have any books on villainy?"

The librarian did not answer, as she was too busy trying not to faint with shock at the sight of King Deathmurder. She merely pointed a trembling finger at a set of shelves near the back of the library, labelled "Tropes & Archetypes". King Deathmurder proceeded to the shelf, ducking under a light fixture as he went, and began pulling books off the shelf at random, tossing them aside when they did not meet his requirements. The librarian would have spoken out against this as well, had she not been scared out of her wits by the giant horned demon. The fact that the books were being thrown with the approximate velocity of pistol bullets did not help either.

Once the top shelf had been emptied, King Deathmurder moved to the next one without missing a beat. "Let's see... 'Love Is A Sharp Steak Knife: A Yandere's Guide to Romance--' no, that's not it." King Deathmurder threw the book over his shoulder and it crashed through no less than three shelves before falling apart, scattering its pages across the floor. "'The Ultimate Siscon Manual, Second Edition--' nope." This book was hurled aside and tore straight through a set of beanbags at the back of the library, startling a schoolgirl who had been about to sit there. "'So You're In Love With A Harem Protagonist: How to Cope With--' Ugh!” King Deathmurder groaned and tore the book in half. “All these books are about love! I want books about evil!”

Suddenly, a purple-spined book caught his attention. He reached down and plucked it off the shelf, reading the cover. "'A Beginner's Guide to Evil: How to Become a Number-One Villain', by Freddie Foul." A purple-suited man, presumably Freddie Foul, grinned up at King Deathmurder from the cover. "Yes!" the demon exclaimed. "This is what I'm looking for!" He looked back over at the librarian, waving the book at her, and declared, "I'd like to check this out, please."

The librarian, still too scared to speak, nodded slowly. She turned back to her desk, but one of King Deathmurder’s discarded books had demolished it and it now lay in splinters, the computer sparking on the floor. “P-p-please just take the book and leave,” stammered the librarian.

***

Having found what he had been looking for, King Deathmurder left the library and flicked open the book. “Alright, let’s see what it says... ‘Follow these easy steps and you too can become an excellent villain! Step 1: Be evil.’” King Deathmurder pondered for a moment, then declared, “Already done that,” and turned the page. “’Step 2: Acquire an evil lair in which you can plan your evil schemes in secret.’” This made him pause for a second time. “Now where am I gonna find an evil lair?”

It took King Deathmurder a few hours of searching, but eventually he found a boarded-up old house on the edge of town. The lawn was overgrown and covered with weeds, and the paint on the front door was chipped and fading, one of the brass door numbers hanging upside-down. King Deathmurder ripped the boards away from one of the windows, saw that the house was empty and deserted, and smiled with satisfaction. "Yes, this will do quite nicely," he said. "It even has that spooky aesthetic. Now then, what's next..."

Once more, King Deathmurder consulted his guide. "'Step 3: Acquire a nemesis or nemeses. Ideally, they should be sickeningly-sweet goody-two-shoeses who will happily try and thwart your evil schemes, but will have neither the intelligence nor the guts to try and kill you, instead letting you live every week so you can come up with another evil scheme.' Yeah, sounds like those StarLight girls, except for the part where they did try to kill me. And failed miserably. Ha! Anyway, that's that step done." King Deathmurder turned the page.

"'Step 4: Surround yourself with incompetent minions.' Incompetent? That doesn't sound right." Puzzled, King Deathmurder continued, "'While their incompetence may infuriate you at times, it will help prevent them from overthrowing you and becoming a villain themselves, something I call 'pulling a Staryell'. What's more, their incompetence will make you look and feel far more competent in comparison.' But I am competent!" protested King Deathmurder. "I already defeated the StarLight girls without even trying! I don't need to surround myself with idiots to make myself look better! Then again..." King Deathmurder looked back up through the window of the empty house. "If I scratch the 'incompetent' part, having lackeys to help me out sounds pretty good. The problem, again, is how to find them..."

***

"Listen to this." Sanae laid a newspaper flat on the table, the page turned to the ads section. One of the ads had been circled in red pen, and Sanae began to read it aloud in a derisive voice: "'ARE YOU A REAL VILLAIN? The invincible King Deathmurder is looking to recruit four evil henchmen to assist him in his efforts to destroy the StarLight Trio and conquer the world! Ring 555-9999-999 for more details!'" Sanae burst out laughing. "What a moron!" she exclaimed, as the other girls chuckled along with her. "Does he really think anyone is going to answer that ad?!"

"I'm answering it," said Hitomi, who was already dialling the number into her smartphone.

The laughter petered out. "Wait, really?" said Sanae. "Why?"

Hitomi held up a finger for silence, winking at her companions, and put the phone on speaker. A moment later, there was a click and Deathmurder's distinctive voice filled the room. "Salutations!" he screeched. "This is King Deathmurder speaking! Are you calling about the evil henchman position?"

Hitomi, now struggling to keep her face straight, reached into her bag and pulled out an airhorn. She pointed the end as close to her phone's speaker as she possibly could, and waited. A few seconds of jittery silence ensued as the fan club tried to suppress their collective giggles, while Deathmurder on the other end waited for a response. Finally, he let out a quiet, "Hel-"

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHP. Hitomi blasted the airhorn right in Deathmurder's ear until she could no longer hold back her laughter, then hung up and joined the rest of the club in doubling over the table in utter hysterics. Even Nagisa, usually the most sensible of the group, was wheezing with laughter. "Oh my God~!" gasped Sanae. "I wish I could have seen... the look on his face...!"

Mio nodded, wiping a tear away from her away. "Hey, hey... do you... pfft... do you think he's now... King Deafmurder?" The girls burst out into renewed laughter, Amaya banging her fist repeatedly against the table. Hinata was so weak with mirth that she looked as though she were about to fall sideways off her chair.

The three youkai simply looked on with bewilderment. "I don't get it," said Kage.

7: Episode 2: A Beginner's Guide to Evil (Part 2)

King Deathmurder spent the next morning sprucing up his lair, in preparation for the henchman auditions. The electricity in the abandoned house had been shut off, and he hadn’t the slightest clue how to get it running again, so he improvised a lighting system by generating several small balls of energy and carefully affixing them to the ceiling. The slightest touch could potentially cause them to detonate, obliterating the entire house, but the eerie mood generated by their soft glow felt utterly perfect to King Deathmurder. Besides, The Beginner’s Guide to Evil had advised him that supervillain lairs needed to be dangerous, and what could be more dangerous than exploding light fixtures?

The first candidate through the door was a vaguely feminine male with long purple hair, who began introducing himself before King Deathmurder could prompt him. "I am the amazing Metaro!" he declared, running a hand through his fringe and grinning. "I have come to stake my claim as your number one henchman!"

King Deathmurder nodded. If nothing else, the man had enthusiasm. "What abilities do you have?" he asked.

Metaro was momentarily caught off-guard by Deathmurder's squeaky voice, but rapidly regained his composure. "I am a master of disguise!" he said. "I can instantly transform myself into anyone!" Metaro reached into his jacket and pulled out a pair of joke glasses, complete with moustache. He put them on and declared, "Behold! Now I am an office lady!"

King Deathmurder's eyes widened in genuine astonishment. "Unbelievable!" he exclaimed. "It's like you vanished and a whole different person appeared! What other disguises can you pull off?"

Metaro's expression grew more smug by the second. "Oh, just about anything!" he said. He took the glasses off, twirled them between his fingers, put them back on again, and said, "Behold! Now I am you!"

"Wow! It's like looking in a mirror!" said King Deathmurder. "Well, I have plenty of other candidates to interview, so I'll be sure to get in touch with you, but between you and me, you're a frontrunner at the moment." This, of course, would have been true either way, given that nobody else had auditioned yet.

"Naturally~" grinned Metaro, tapping the glasses with a finger. "In that case, I'll be taking my leave. Ciao~!"

***

Next up was a young-looking woman with red hair tied back in a ponytail. She took a moment to look around as she entered, taking in the dark, dusty surroundings, before bowing low in greeting. "Hi," she said. "My name is Makoto Akamatsu, I'm here to audition for the 'henchman' role. Wow, great make-up, by the way!" she added, eyeing King Deathmurder with excitement. "How long did it take to apply all that?"

King Deathmurder wasn’t sure what to make of the girl. She was clearly speaking Japanese, but the words weren't forming coherent sentences in his brain. "This... isn't make-up," he said lamely.

Makoto nodded. "Oh, I see," she said, "you're a method actor. That explains the creepy house and stuff. So, do you have a script for me to read from, or can I just improvise? Honestly, I feel like I'm better at doing improv."

Method-acting? Improv? King Deathmurder still couldn't understand what the girl was talking about, but he began to suspect that she was not on the same page as him. "I... don't have a script," he said.

"Okay, then I'll just improvise something," said Makoto. She cleared her throat, closed her eyes for a moment, then slipped into character. "I'm sorry, Sir, but I have to advise against this," she began, addressing some imaginary villain, her expression serious. "The Super-Dimensional Death Beam hasn't been tested yet! If we fire it now, there's no telling what could happen! ... yes, it's complete, but we still have to run diagnostics to make sure that everything works! ... no, I'm not 'defying you', I just want to make sure that nothing will go wrong when we--"

The girl's eyes suddenly widened, and she began to let out very convincing strangled gasps. Her hands moved to her throat, wrestling with the grasp of her imaginary employer. The gasps steadily grew fainter, her eyes rolling back in her head, until finally she threw herself to the floor and lay still. King Deathmurder slowly rose from his chair, his brow furrowed. "Are you okay...?" he asked.

Makoto had one eye open, and as she spotted King Deathmurder peering down at her, she grinned and opened the other. "Wow, was my acting that good?" she asked. "I'm fine, thanks." Makoto bounded to her feet. "So, when can I expect to hear back from you?"

King Deathmurder gave a non-committal shrug. "Sometime within the next few days," he said.

***

The next time the door opened, nobody entered the room. King Deathmurder stared suspiciously at the open doorway. An invisible person, perhaps? "Hello?" he called out. "Is anyone th--"

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHP. Deathmurder nearly fell out of his chair as the infernal airhorn noise filled the room. Outside, hidden behind the door, Hitomi and Mio clamped their hands over their mouths to suppress their giggles. "King Deafmurder," Mio whispered, and the pair promptly fell about laughing.

"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BRATS!" squealed King Deathmurder. Hitomi and Mio frantically scrambled down the corridor as the demon's footsteps approached the door. "I'll kill you first!" he added, swiftly followed by, "Or last, so you can watch your loved ones suffer...?" The demon rubbed his chin. "Hmm. Which is more evil, killing someone first or killing them last? Maybe telling them you'll kill them last, then killing them first instead...?"

***

Next up was a tall, rugged-looking man, a baseball bat slung over his shoulder like a club. He was dressed like a stereotypical bancho: black baseball cap, black open trenchcoat, dark jeans, and boots with about half-a-dozen straps that didn't seem to do anything. A sprig of grass was clamped in his mouth, which was curled downwards in a perpetual sneer.

"Name's Shintaro," grunted the man. "Heard you was lookin' for hired help. Figured I'd offer my services."

"Well, you look tough enough," said King Deathmurder, casting an eye over Shintaro. "I'm guessing your 'special talent' is just hitting stuff really hard with that bat?"

"Pretty much," said Shintaro. "Wanna see?"

King Deathmurder shrugged. "Sure," he said. "This place needs redecorating anyway."

Shintaro readied his bat in both hands, took aim at a dust-coated chest-of-drawers, and with a fierce battle cry he swung the bat down onto it. There was an almighty CRASH and the chest-of-drawers was ripped in half, showering splinters of wood across the floor. "Howzat?" asked Shintaro.

"Very impressive," said King Deathmurder. "Well, I think that will do. I'll let you know when I've made my decision."

"Alright." Shintaro extricated the bat from the remnants of the chest-of-drawers, then grunted "Peace out" and strolled back out the way he had come in.

***

The trickle of candidates soon dried up, and King Deathmurder was about to call it a day when once final candidate entered the room. Their face was hidden behind a white-and-red kabuki mask, and they were wearing what was either a ninja robe, or a bath robe. King Deathmurder couldn’t tell the candidate’s gender, but figured that it didn’t matter so long as they could do the job.

The masked figure stood there for a moment, ominously silent, and Kind Deathmurder stared back, baffled. "Are you... going to introduce yourself?" he asked, and the figure shook their head. "Then, could you at least show me why you believe--"

King Deathmurder abruptly fell silent as a shuriken flew from nowhere straight into the wall behind him, no more than an inch from his head. Five or six more followed in rapid succession, all of them missing King Deathmurder by mere centimetres and embedding themselves neatly into the wall. Having made their point, the figure bowed low, then turned on their heel and left.

It took King Deathmurder a moment to get over the shock of what had just happened, but once he had, he found himself filled with admiration. "Impressive," he remarked. He turned to pull the shuriken out of the wall, and noticed that one of them had a scrap of paper impaled on it. Written on the scrap was a phone number and a note: "TEXTS ONLY".

“Very impressive,” said King Deathmurder.

8: Episode 2: A Beginner's Guide to Evil (Part 3)

With the auditions over, it did not take King Deathmurder long to decide upon his four lackeys. The following day, he assembled them at the abandoned house for their first-ever meeting, addressing each of them in turn. "Shintaro, Metaro, Kabuki Ninja... and for lack of better options, Makoto. The four of you shall be my henchmen, and together, we shall..." Deathmurder hesitated. "...well, I'm still working on that part. But for certain, we will destroy the StarLight Trio and commit acts of great villainy!"

Makoto raised a hand. "Uhh, I have a few questions," she said. "First, what kind of salary will we be getting? You didn't mention it in the ad, or when you phoned me up to tell me I'd won the role. Second, when will shooting commence? I need to know when I'll be needed for, so I know when to quit my part-time job. I'm guessing that since we don't have a script yet-"

Shintaro and Metaro exchanged looks of alarm. "Shouldn't we tell her?" whispered Metaro.

"Nah," said Shintaro. "She'll figure it out eventually. 'Sides, it's too late for her to back out now."

Makoto, meanwhile, had continued rattling off question after misinformed question. "-and finally, if it's not too much trouble, may I add you on LinkedIn?" she asked. "It'd really help my portfolio to have such a skilled method actor in my contacts list."

King Deathmurder blinked, wisps of steam coming out of his ears as he processed the barrage of questions. "Right..." he said finally. "Well, to answer those in order: you will all share equally in the spoils of my glorious conquest; we won't be shooting anyone with anything until Episode 10; you must quit your part-time job immediately and pledge your full allegiance to me, King Deathmurder; there is no "union" for villains, unless you count prison; and I don't know what a LinkedIn is. Do those answer your questions?"

"Uhh... not particularly," said Makoto.

King Deathmurder did not bother explaining any further. "Anyway," he said, "now that you are my minions, I would like you all to introduce yourselves to the city, and to your new nemeses, the StarLight Trio. I want you all to go out, commit one act of villainy each, and then report back here by nightfall. 'The Beginner's Guide to Evil' tells me that if any of you fail, I can either kill you on the spot, or do nothing and allow you to keep blundering over and over and over again. Right now, I'm kinda leaning towards that first one. So try not to fail."

Kabuki Ninja nodded, turned on their heel, and left, idly twirling a throwing knife between their fingers.

"I know exactly what to do!" declared Metaro. "I shall return shortly!" Taking out his disguise glasses, he followed Kabuki Ninja out of the house.

"Guess I'll just go smash something," said Shintaro, and he too left, his club slung over his shoulder.

This left only Makoto, and King Deathmurder looked at her expectantly. Slowly, Makoto was coming to the realisation that King Deathmurder was not a film producer or a method actor, but a genuine villain. What do I do?, she thought to herself. He probably won't let me back out now, and even if I call the cops, what would I tell them? 'An eight-foot-tall grey-skinned demon is planning a non-specific act of villainy'? Even in her head, it sounded ludicrous. There's only one thing for it. I'm going to have to play along, using my acting skills to my advantage.

Makoto put on an air of confidence. "I'll just improvise something, like at the audition," she said. "I won't let you down, King Deathmurder."

"I hope not," said King Deathmurder. "Now get going, before the narrator cuts to—"

***

Elsewhere, the StarLight Trio had just finished the latest of their public appearances: the re-opening of an office building that had been damaged during Red Moon's attack. It was Saturday, so they didn't need to worry about anyone noticing their absence from school. Indeed, Inaba-sensei and Yuriko were among those watching the ceremony. "You know," Inaba-sensei mused, "Blue Moon looks really familiar, and I can't figure out why."

"It's the blue twintails," said Yuriko. "I can think of three different anime characters with blue twintails like that."

Inaba-sensei had thought that she had seen a similar-looking student in the corridors at Mitsuzawa High, but Yuriko's suggestion seemed more plausible. "Yeah, that's probably it," she said, nodding.

With the appearance over, and their autograph pens having run dry, the trio headed off down the sidewalk, their arms still mechanically waving at the horde of fans they had left behind. "Geez, I can't feel my arm," moaned Blue Moon. "You guys have to put up with this?!"

White Star had to grab her arm and yank it down to her side to stop it from waving. "All the damn time," she said.

"I never saw you doing this in the previous episodes!" said Blue Moon.

"That's because it's boring," said White Star. "This series only shows you the exciting, juicy bits, but-" White Star paused. Black Star's right arm was still mindlessly waving, and it was distracting her. She reached out, seized Black Star's wrist, and pulled it back down to her side. (Somewhere in her bedroom, Mio suffered a spontaneous nosebleed.)

"There's a lot more to being a magical girl than just flying around and firing lasers at things," White Star continued. "You have to go to all these public functions, and do advertisements and PSA videos about how drugs are bad and stuff, and sometimes you gotta climb outta the screen and give the author the energy and motivation to actually continue working on the series again. Someone oughta tell Shizukesa to do that sometime."

Blue Moon blinked. "Shi-who-ze-what?"

"Precisely," said White Star. "Anyway, let's move on to a more cheerful topic. What are you guys planning to do for the rest of the day?"

Black Star took out her phone and spontaneously began waving it. "I'll be playing- goddammit." She seized her wrist to hold it still. "I'll be playing my gacha games."

"I gotta go get my hair cut!" said Blue Moon. "In a normal way, not in a melodramatic, 'character-developing', hack-off-my-twintails-with-scissors kinda way."

"Yeah, thanks for clarifying that," said Kage sarcastically. "We all thought you were gonna go shave yourself bald while listening to Requiem for a Dream on a constant loop, nyaa~"

"As for me," said White Star, "I'm gonna be just patrolling the city, on the look-out for any wrongdoing. Maybe I'll head up WcDonald's for lunch, you guys should come join me."

"Sure!" said Blue Moon. "I haven't had WcDonald's in ages!"

The trio reached an intersection, and they all headed off in separate directions, having to resist the urge to wave goodbye to each other. "See ya!" White Star called out. "Don't buy too much in-game currency, Black Star!"

"Too late!" Black Star replied. "I'm already whaling!"

9: Episode 2: A Beginner's Guide to Evil (Part 4)

With their plans formulated, King Deathmurder’s newly-appointed henchmen went their separate ways and spread out across Mitsuzawa, ready to announce themselves to the city. Metaro was the first to act, slipping his disguise glasses on and bursting through the front doors of the nearest bank. "Excuse me, ma'am," he said to the teller. "I'd like to make a large withdrawal from my account."

"Do you have any ID?" asked the teller.

Metaro feigned a look of indignation. "Can't you tell from my face?" he said, gesturing at the glasses. "I am the world-famous voice actress Megumi Hayashibara!" [A/N: Metaro is based on Team Rocket and their terrible disguises that somehow always work; Megumi Hayashibara voices Jessie.]

"Do you have any ID, Miss Hayashibara?" repeated the teller, her tone unchanging.

With a sigh, Metaro launched into an off-key rendition of "Fly Me To The Moon". His voice sounded nothing like the woman he was impersonating, but the teller was apparently convinced, for she nodded and turned to consult her computer. "Let me just open up your account details..." A few keystrokes later, she paused. "...I'm sorry, Miss Hayashibara, but you don't seem to actually have an account with us. Would you like to open one?"

Metaro's face fell. "Oh," he said. "Erm... no, that's okay, thank you. Sorry to have wasted your time."

His plan having failed, Metaro left the bank, took off his glasses, twirled them a couple of times, then put them back on. "There's plenty of other banks in Mitsuzawa," he said. "I'm sure I can find a celebrity who has an account at one of them..."

***

Shintaro's plan was a bit less subtle.

With a hefty swing of his baseball bat, he smashed in the front window of a nearby convenience store and climbed in through the broken glass. The bored-looking teenager behind the counter did not react in any way. "There's a door right there, sir," he mumbled.

Shintaro ignored the teenager, instead scanning the shelves for something that would make a lot of noise and mess when smashed. He quickly zeroed in on a shelf stacked with fruit. "That'll do," he sneered, and with another swing he splattered fruit juice all over the shelves and floor.

"Please don't smash up our stock, sir," said the teenager, in the same bored tone. "Actually... what the hell, go ahead. I'm probably getting fired for this anyway, what do I care?"

“I like this kid,” said Shintaro. “If it helps, tell your manager I knocked you out and stuffed you in the freezer.”

The teenager shrugged. “That probably won’t help, sir,” he said, “but I appreciate the thought.”

Shintaro was about to swing at the next shelf when he remembered something important. “Oh, right,” he said. “While you’re at it, tell your manager that King Deathmurder is here, and that this city will soon belong to him.” With the warning delivered, Shintaro drew back the bat and smashed another shelf of fruit.

***

Kabuki Ninja was not particularly bothered by the bemused stares of passersby as they headed down the high street. Mitsuzawa might be home to three different anime, two of which involved supernatural monsters, but ninjas were still an unusual sight, especially when they were wearing a kabuki mask and openly twirling a kunai between their fingers. Kabuki Ninja had quite expected to cause a stir – indeed, that was the entire point of the operation.

One passerby had enough courage to call out, “Get your Naruto crap outta my anime!”, and Kabuki Ninja coolly tossed the kunai in his direction. The blade flew cleanly between his legs, passing less than an inch from his crotch, and embedded itself deeply into the wall behind him. The man was quite silent after that.

Kabuki Ninja strolled unopposed through the streets until they found what they had been looking for: a car that had been parked illegally in a no-parking zone. Pulling a second kunai out of thin air, Kabuki Ninja made a beeline for the car, and before anyone could stop them, they had slashed all four of its tires and headed off on their way.

***

Makoto was still wandering aimlessly, debating how to go about her mission. “An act of villainy... an act of villainy... it’s gotta be something small. Something easy. Preferably something legal as well, I don’t exactly have the money to pay for a lawyer, and it doesn’t sound like I’m getting paid for—"

Makoto suddenly stopped. She had been so busy pondering her dilemma that she had nearly walked into a stray puppy. The puppy looked up at her, panting and wagging its tail, and Makoto had an idea: "Kicking a puppy is evil." 

Makoto took a couple of steps back, trying to prepare a run-up, but the dog followed her, tail still wagging fiercely. Makoto froze, feeling a dull pain growing in her chest. "...no, what was I thinking?" she despaired. "I can't kick an innocent little puppy! That's too evil! But what if--" Her expression turned from sorrowful to thoughtful. "--I were to tell King Deathmurder I'd kicked a puppy, without actually doing it? Fufufu... delightfully devilish, Makoto."

***

As the four henchmen set about their respective rampages, the commotion they were causing did not go unnoticed. “You hear that?” White Star asked Kousen. “Sounds like a monster attack."

Kousen shook her head. "I'm not picking up any monster readings. Even if it was King Deathmurder, I'd be picking up the readings from the chi he absorbed."

"So there must be something else going on," said Sanae. "Like a bank robbery, or a new WcDonald’s promotion."

“Whatever it is, we should investigate,” said Kousen. The pair took to the skies, zooming off in the direction of the panic.

***

Black Star was sat on a park bench when an alarm going off nearby drew her attention away from her gacha game. "Someone's in trouble," she said. "This looks like a job for--" Before she could complete her sentence, her phone buzzed, and she looked back down at it. "Oh, goddammit! Not another SR! I'm never gonna get the event SSR at this rate!"

Kage rolled her eyes, reached over, and yanked Black Star's phone out of her hands. "Hey!" exclaimed Black Star. "I was playing that!"

"No you weren't," said Kage, "you were yelling at it. You said you had a job to do, so go do it, nyaa~ Your gambling game will still be here when you get back."

"It's not a gambling game!" protested Black Star, and Kage gave her a skeptical look. "Okay, it's kind of a gambling game, but that's not the point!" Kage continued to stare pointedly at her, and Black Star eventually groaned and got up from the bench. "I'll be right back," she said. "Look after my phone for me!"

***

Hitomi emerged from the hairdressers' with her twintails a good six inches shorter than before, and still glistening from where they had been washed. She stretched her still-aching arms and looked up at the sky, a pleasant smile on her face. "Today's gonna be a good day," she said.

Then the screaming started, and the enthusiasm on Hitomi's face gradually faded away. "Of course," she muttered. "Well, the quicker I can deal with that monster, or molester, or whatever, the quicker I can go back to having a good day!"

Hitomi pulled the Blue Moon Emblem out of her pocket, and in an instant she was engulfed in a brilliant blue light. Her school clothes morphed into a knee-length sky-blue dress, with dark blue frills on the edges, and a dark blue ribbon tied neatly around her waist. Similar ribbons appeared at the base of her twintails, and at the tops of her kneesocks. Her shoes transformed into dark blue stiletto heels, causing her to wobble briefly as she adjusted her balance. Finally, her Emblem extended itself into the Blue Moon Wand, and her transformation into Blue Moon was complete.

“Let’s go kick some monster butt!” said Blue Moon, kicking up off the ground and soaring into the sky.

10: Episode 2: A Beginner's Guide to Evil (Part 5)

It took Metaro five attempts to find a valid bank/celebrity combination, but once he did, he strode out of the bank with a wallet full of cash and a smug grin. "Aoi Yuuki is about to find herself a million yen worse off~!" he chuckled to himself.

White Star had been heading in the direction of the commotion caused by Kabuki Ninja, but upon seeing the disguised Metaro, she swung around and landed in front of him instead. "Oh my gosh, it's Aoi Yuuki!" she exclaimed. "I'm a huge fan of your work! Can I have your autograph?" She summoned a notepad and pencil from nowhere and thrust it at Metaro's face.

Metaro was about to decline when he realised exactly who was standing in front of him. "Oh... yes, of course!" he said, running a hand through his hair. "Anything for such an enthusiastic fan of mine!" He took the notepad and pencil and began to scribble away, tilting the pad so that White Star couldn't see.

"Hey, this might be a weird request," said Black Star, "but if and when this series gets a proper anime adaptation, do you think you could voice me?"

"Oh, sure!" said Metaro. "It's always good to get more work - as long as it's paid, of course."

White Star looked momentarily baffled. "Paid?" she repeated. "Oh, right, yeah, paid! Of course!"

With a wry smile, Metaro returned the notepad and pen to White Star. "There you go," he said. "Speaking of 'go', I'd better be on my way. Ciao~!"

As Metaro headed off, White Star flipped the notepad over to take a look at what he had signed:

 

DEAR WHITE TSAR,
KING DEATHMURDER SAYS HI!
SINCERELY,
KING DEATHMURDER'S #1 HENCHMAN
METARO xxx

 

White Star blinked and squinted at the page. "Wait a minute," she said. "She spelt my name wrong!" White Star looked up, ready to call out Aoi Yuuki's name, but she was not there. There was only a man with long purple hair, waving cheerily back at her with one hand, a pair of joke glasses dangling from his other hand.

***

Once Shintaro had had his fill of smashing stuff, he picked his way out of the convenience store, munching idly on a tomato that had somehow survived the destruction. Waiting outside for him was Black Star, her arms folded and a thunderous expression on her face. Shintaro, unfazed, held up the tomato. "You want one?" he asked.

"No thanks," said Black Star. "I'm only hungry for justice!" Shintaro shot her an amused look, and she quickly added, "Okay, that sounded better in my head, but the point is, you can't go around smashing stuff up just for the hell of it!" The amused look only intensified. "...okay, yeah, that also sounds dumb, considering I spent the whole of last series doing exactly that... you know what, I'm gonna just shut up and skip to the part where I kick your ass."

Shintaro shrugged and took another bite of tomato. "Fine by me," he mumbled. "Do your worst."

Black Star raised her wand, pointing it at Shintaro's broad chest. "Stunning Star!" she called out, and a black star-shaped ball of energy burst out of the wand. Shintaro dropped the tomato, readied his bat, and with a hard swing he parried the ball of energy away, sending it soaring into the sky until it was a mere twinkle. Black Star gulped. "Well... that's one sturdy bat," she remarked.

"Sure is," said Shintaro. "I used to be a normal yakuza, then one time I got pulled into a weird adventure full of people with strange powers. So I got this bat made special. It's anti-magic. It'll cave your head in same as anyone else."

This concerned Black Star immensely. An anti-magic bat would be capable of not only deflecting her attacks, but also bypassing the physical protection afforded by the chi flowing through her body. Even a single hit could cripple her - or worse. The obvious loophole would have been to undo the anti-magic enchantment, but that was impossible, as it would require magic. The only way to beat such a weapon, was to go around it.

"Time to think outside the box, then," said Black Star, readying her wand. "Homing Missile!" The wand glowed as it generated another black ball of energy, but instead of blasting straight at Shintaro, it hovered for a moment, then zig-zagged from side to side as it tried to find an angle to strike from.

Shintaro readied his bat, and when the ball finally flew at him, he struck it away just as before. This time, however, instead of hurtling into the stratosphere, the ball curled round and flew straight back at him. Shintaro punted it away again, and again the ball swung round in a wide arc, heading back towards him. "This is cheating," grunted Shintaro, as he batted it away for a third time.

"No," said Black Star, folding her arms. "If I was spamming Homing Missiles every five seconds like a M*cross ship, then I'd be cheating."

"Fair," replied Shintaro. Again and again he batted the Homing Missile away, but it refused to leave him alone, and finally he mistimed a swing and clipped it at an angle, sending it spinning no more than a few feet. By the time Shintaro had realised his mistake, the Homing Missile had fired itself straight into his chest, detonating and sending him flying backwards into the shop he had just left. The bat slipped out of his hand and span across the floor, coming to a rest amidst a pile of smashed vegetables.

"Back already, sir?" asked the teenager at the counter, without even looking up.

Black Star had expected that to have ended the battle, but to her astonishment, Shintaro groaned and began to pick himself back up. "Anti-magic vest," he said, patting his chest. "Just in case. Well played. Let's call this one a draw."

Black Star nodded. "Fair," she said. "Next time we meet, though, I might not be as merciful."

"Same," said Shintaro, picking his bat back up. "But for today, I did what I came here to do. Time to pull back."

Shintaro picked his way back out of the wreckage of the convenience store and headed back towards King Deathmurder's hideout, leaving Black Star to ponder whether Shintaro was really the dumb thug he appeared to be.

***

Turning a corner, Kabuki Ninja suddenly found her progress impeded by Blue Moon. The magical girl was hovering upside-down in front of her, her twintails swaying in the breeze, one hand clutching her wand and the other hand holding her skirt in place. Startled, Kabuki Ninja jumped backwards, drawing another kunai out of thin air.

"Heya," said Blue Moon. "You're a bad guy, right?" Kabuki Ninja nodded, and Blue Moon continued, "I take it you're not going to stop being a bad guy if I ask nicely?" Kabuki Ninja shook their head. "Then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to use the power of friendship to beat the crap out of you."

Blue Moon readied her wand, but Kabuki Ninja was already backflipping out of the way. “Hey!” shouted Blue Moon. “Hold still!” Kabuki Ninja’s only response was to hurl the kunai in her direction while mid-backflip; Blue Moon flinched, but the blade missed her by several inches and clattered harmlessly to the ground.

Kabuki Ninja came to rest atop the roof of a parked car, but the instant Blue Moon took aim again, they somersaulted backwards and landed behind it, crouching low for cover. Blue Moon sighed, and with her wand still raised, she approached the car and began circling round it. Kabuki Ninja managed to shift positions just swiftly enough to stay on the opposite side of the car from Blue Moon, and the puzzled magical girl ended up strafing all the way around the car without spotting her.

“Okay, this is getting annoying now,” said Blue Moon. “But finally, I get a chance to show off my magic!” Adopting a ballet pose, Blue Moon chanted, “Magical Doki-Doki Beam of Revealing~!”, then waved her wand in front of her. The car was lifted six feet into the air, its alarm going off, and Kabuki Ninja jumped and scrambled to her feet.

“Aha!” said Blue Moon. “Gotcha!” Raising her wand again, she began to pirouette. “Magical Cutie Sparkle Beam of Repenta—” Blue Moon froze, her hands halfway to forming a heart shape, her wand pointed at the spot where Kabuki Ninja had been just a few seconds before. “Hmm... maybe I need to work on my attack names.”