The room seemed large--too large--and empty. I sat in a chair with Jeremy and my mom beside me. Dad was still at work, but I was sure mom would give him the run down when he got home.

 

I clenched and unclenched my hands in my lap. After I had done this several times, Jeremy placed his hand over mine.

 

"You nervous?" He asked.

 

I nodded.

 

"What if the dog doesn't like me? What if I don't like the dog? What if I don't know what I'm doing?"

 

"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about." Jeremy murmured. "Dogs are pretty good judges of character."

 

"Honey," this time my mom spoke from my other side. "They spend a lot of time training these dogs and they make sure each dog goes to the right person; considering you and the dog."

 

I nodded and fell silent again, taking Jeremy's hand, at least that provided some level of comfort. He was really the only person who could touch me besides my family without me having a panic attack. He had been there since the beginning… When everything happened.

 

I was broken out of my reverie by the sound of the door open. There was the sound of footsteps and nails on the tile. When I looked up a woman in a polo shirt and jeans was leading a little black dog. Certainly, the dog looked more confident than I felt.

 

The woman introduced herself.

 

"My name is Kelly you must be Bella."

 

I nodded.

 

She shook my hand.

 

I made the introductions, at least it distracted me from being nervous.

 

"This is Jeremy, my boyfriend, and my mom…"

 

Mom extended her hand.

 

"Carol Carney, nice to meet you."

 

"Bella, I have your match for your dog, "this is Kiki." She gestured to the dog who was now sitting quietly at her side.

 

Kiki only looked at me somberly, she didn't move to get my attention but rather just settled her chin on my knee and waited patiently. Slowly I reached out to pet her head. Kiki slowly wagged her tail, but did little else, it was like she was waiting on me to make a move.

 

"Hi Kiki," I said softly, "you going to help me? Show me the world isn't so scary?" Slowly I scratched her ears.

 

I continue to pet Kiki as we talked while Kelly talked about training classes and what was expected of me as a handler.

 

Kelly explained I couldn't take Kiki with me right away, I had to go through training first and even though Kiki was trained I had to be, and I had to learn how to read her and she had to learn how to read me.

 

"Afraid it's bye for now, but you'll see each other in a few weeks, I promise."

 

I scratched Kiki behind the ears one more time and as I reached around afterwards to hug Jeremy Kiki followed me, as much as her lead would allow her nose meeting mine then she swiped it with her tongue.

 

I laughed and so did everyone else.

 

"Guess she doesn't want to say goodbye either." Kelly said laughing, "come on girl, time to go, you'll see Bella later."

 

Kiki gave me one last backward glance before following Kelly back to the door from where they had come. My mind was a swirl of emotions, something I couldn't even figure out in my own head. Maybe this was something for Shannon to help me figure out in one of my sessions; either way, I couldn't wait to tell her about Kiki.