~

My girlfriend was some blonde thing. I know that's not the nicest description I could give someone, but when you know she's been cheating, you struggle to see the nice things you saw at the beginning.

I also know I'm supposed to feel something... anger, sadness, some mix of the two maybe? But I don't, I don't feel a fucking thing, and it's brilliant.

In truth, I've been trying to shake her off for a while, I just don't know how to go about breaking it off you know? Anytime I tried to talk to her in person, I was talked over, so I just never bothered and switched off. It's probably why she went elsewhere, don't blame her, the guy is some football player from another school and not too bad looking either. Fuck, I might've cheated on her if I found him sooner.

Oh yeah, that's another wee secret of mine. I'm gay, and no one has a clue, a notion. A baldy!

I was sitting in my tiny room, covered in books I haven't read yet. My phone was buzzing away with messages from her, from her mates and from mine. God, who gives a fuck you know? In ten years I might forget her name. I turned on my console and started playing some Skyrim to escape for a bit.

When I felt like shit, mainly like offing myself, I just sat in my room and listened to music. Just lay on my bed and let the world melt away. I can't do that now cause the damn texts won't stop rattling. If my mum was none the wiser she would think I was shagging the clean life from some doll. I wish I was shagging the clean life from someone right now, that might take my mind off of all this. Might...

I finished the stale can of cider that's been sitting there longer than I care to say and reached for my phone. My best mate had messaged me.

'You alright man wanna go a drive??'

'Nah, wanna sleep. Heads poundin, ttyl' Emoji, emoji, emoji.

I had twenty-seven unread messages from Charlotte, that's her name by the way. They looked like red zits on my screen - Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter... they popped up everywhere. Fucking hell. There were more from her mates too.

I opened my Ruffr app. The sleaziest thing you ever saw. Oh, my days is it bad. If you want to see roughly thirty cocks from hairy, married geezers in your area? Download it now! Do you want to get death threats for not sending a pick of your arsehole? This is the app for you! My favourite was when some dude that could be granda's dead dad pops up.

'You're the fittest wee thing on this app'

Aye, cheers there mate. Wish I had their confidence though, could conquer the world with it if I tried. If my friends knew I was out, I would screenshot and send it to them and have a laugh. Not today though, I intend to plough my stress away in some stranger's dingy bedroom at quarter past ten.

A hairless, washboard stomach with the lower part of his jaw on show was tonight's conquest.

'Hi ;) x'

'Hey x'

'Wua? You busy 2nite? X'

I'm in!

'Nah haha, p bored atm ​;) Hby? X'

'Same, u any pics? X'

You make think me a slag, but I don't care too much. I had around five different pictures of my dick, all quite flattering angles too. I know what I like. That's what I've always said, I give out what I want in a guy; fit looking, good body, good cock. I'm not asking for much in a man. It'll be a long time before I even start looking mind you.

':O you're huge! X'

Love a flatterer, me.

'Haha, you like ;)? It's bigger in person x'

It's cringy, I know, but a man's gotta eat.

The fella sent me his location, bear in mind I have no clue this guy's name. It wasn't too far either in the same neighbourhood. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I got ready with a quick wash and trim down there. There was something exciting, something thrilling about the anonymity. A stranger's house, just there for one thing. Exploring every bit of them, more physically close than I ever got with my girl.

Oh yeah, I'm also a virgin. Nothing wrong with that but I'd like it to change sometime soon, say tonight for example.

I slipped a condom I bought a month ago into my pocket. I was really acting it up for the rugby lads, but now that falsity is in my favour. The Lord doth work through me and into the lubed hole of this bottom only a thousand feet away.

The walk was chillier and killed my mood only a bit, but my bulge was pushing hard against my sweats. I kinda liked being on show like this, if anyone saw me... imagine the scandal. I wandered through the posh houses, something was moving in but couldn't see who. Soon I came to the fancy apartments and I was buzzed in.

My golden hole lay in flat 4C on a silver platter. I would eat it like groceries.

When the fella opened the door, he wasn't the cleanly shaven twink I thought. He was in his thirties at least, hairy like a bear but the saving grace was his muscled physique, he either lifted weights or played rugby.

"Hey, you're Ray right?" he was English.

"Uh, aye," I responded. My heart nearly beat out my throat. "You're... uh... you're not the guy in your photos."

"I'm not out, so use those ones. That okay though?"

Well, aside from being lied to, you cunt. "Yeah, I understand," I smiled.

The apartment was a clean and modern build with slick neutral furniture. A St George's flag was the only personal touch to the clinical room.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked.

My mouth was dry and my stomach in knots. I hadn't cleaned my hole and this guy was not a bottom. "Ye... yeah, please. What's your name pal?"

"Kev," he said after a moment. Probably a fake name.

'Kev' handed me a gin and tonic. Fancy! I'm definitely getting rammed against the headboard tonight.

"Bottoms up," I said.

"Oh they will be," he laughed.

That was fucking awful.

We chatted for about five minutes before he put his meaty claws for hands on my thighs. I admit I was turned on, but my colon knew he wasn't ready. My stomach felt like it had swollen around a foot in radius. I could smell his husky, whisky breath and feel the heat of it on my face when he opened his lips hidden under a dark goatee.

Kev leant in and I kissed him. His hand moved from my thigh under my shirt and on the curve my back. His strong body was on top of me, and his calloused hands removed my shirt. My member pressed against his strong thighs as he grinded on me. He removed his tank top and, of course, his nipples are pierced, and he is covered with dark coarse hair.

"You like?" he asked.

I simply nodded, my mouth was too dry to speak and I was too tense to even breath. Oh fuck. I suddenly realise that I need to fart, hard.

He pulled down my trousers and wrapped his mouth around my knob. "Bigger in person indeed," he said coming up for breath.

He arose, decorating my body with kisses as his wet tongue traced my skin. He kissed me on the mouth. I keep praying for a loud noise to disguise the thunderous fart that would rip a hole in the air.

"Your turn," he grinned. His voice was lustful and deep, but maybe it was the alcohol.

I kiss him on the neck as he plays with my hair. He was moaning as I played with his piercings and maybe my south. I could feel the heat of his member slide against my thigh. With an acrobat's dexterity, I began to move down.

"You like teasing me don't you boy?"

Why are English people like this? In truth, I didn't want to go down into a squat too quickly in case I shat myself. Could you imagine! I knew I was safe though once I got to my knees, and I let him in me. It was salty, and a pube got caught in my teeth, but I liked the feeling. My eyes prickled with tears at his depth.

When he was close, he pulled out. "Think we better go to the bedroom you little minx."

If that was supposed to be sexy or playful it failed spectacularly. If he wasn't relatively attractive, my boner would have flopped. I just winked him a response. I'm the Silent Giant type if you get my meaning.

Kev through me on the bed with his heavy hands. He pinned my hands above my head, I felt like I needed to submit to him, but I loved to put up a bit of a fight. He kissed and licked my body till he flipped my body and sank his teeth into my ass.

This is it, I'm going to bottom. All the articles said to relax, to breathe.

Breathing is not what I should have done. The moment breath parted my lips I could feel my bowels rumble like stampeding oxen and out of my tight hole erupted a tornado of flatulence into poor Kev's face. My cheeks flushed red and if there was any a time the earth would swallow me whole, I wish it would have been in that moment.

I heard him gag and I could feel tears swell in my eyes, but not from pleasure but from pain. Oh, dear Mary, Joseph and the Gospel Saints just strike me down now for my sins. Just fucking kill me, please!

The silence seemed to last forever, and I was still crouched over with my ass perked in the air refusing to address what happened and refusing to look him in the eye. This stranger who invited me into his home, who gave me expensive alcohol and deepthroated me. I just let rip into his nostrils as he licked my butthole.

"Uhm..." he began. "I think... I think you need to leave."

Oh, fuck me, literally and figuratively. I didn't speak as I got dressed while he waited in his ensuite. He never said goodbye, never another word.

As I walked out of the building into the cool night air, I burst out laughing. Tears fell from eyes in gasping howls of laughter and when I checked if there were any messages on Rufflr, I had seen he blocked me.

But no matter, there is always going to be another shag the next day.