"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" as Dickens put it, "spring of hope, winter of despair". Well it was winter, though I can't say I care for all the melodramatic stuff that much. It all began when my friend, Nathan Clarence fell in his parent's driveway and what happened to me you ask; how we ended up spending Christmas in the hospital? Well I'll get to that later.

 

This was the text I received from Nathan the week before Christmas which completely turned my holiday plans on their ear.

 

Hey V (he calls me V for short, my real name is Vivian) you won't believe what happened to me! I was shoveling my parents' driveway and slipped on some ice, pretty sure I did something to my knee. My parents are taking me to the ER in a few minutes. I'll let you know what happens

 

Well there go my plans next week I thought. Though I sincerely hoped he hadn't been hurt too badly. Looking up from my phone, I looked out at the icy and snowy streets, this was why I hated winter. I was much more of a spring and summer type of person.

 

Oh well. I sighed and got back up to finish wrapping the last of my Christmas presents. There was church to think about, and our traditional Christmas dinner, though usually we didn't even know what we having were until a few days before.

 

That was when it happened.

 

 I was retrieving the last of the wrapping paper from the top of my closet when my knee gave a sudden jolt of pain. I had always had problems with my knees ever since I was a teenager, something people commonly referred to as a trick knee in which your kneecap essentially does whatever it feels like regardless of which direction your body is moving. Within several minutes I had collapsed on the floor, curled up in a fetal position, pain shooting through my now immobile knee. Thankfully, I still had my phone in my pocket. Gritting my teeth, I punched out my parent's number. I was pretty sure I was about to utter the same words my best friend had told his parents less than an hour before.

 

"Mom," I gasped into the phone, "I think I did something to my knee!"

 

After my mother had reassured me she and my dad would be there shortly, I glanced around at the mess on my bedroom floor. Wrapping paper was everywhere! So much for getting my Christmas presents wrapped, I guess they were going to have to wait.

2: Chapter 1

The ER was surprisingly busy for the week before Christmas, and probably would be even over the holiday. By this time I was barely walking, supported by my parents as I limped through the automatic doors.

 

Well you've done it again Vivian, I thought, another one for the books another sob story to tell your best friend. Well at least we could commiserate over our injuries together.

 

While I filled out paperwork on said injury and waited to be called by the on-call doctor. I shot Nathan another text.

 

Guess who's in the ER now? Tweaked my knee retrieving wrapping paper of all things. You know I've had that trick knee since we were teenagers? Guess we're both held up over the holidays huh?

 

Nathan replied a few minutes later.

 

Guess so. I'm bruised up pretty bad and they think I tore my hamstring and a tendon or two. I'll probably be having surgery pretty soon.

 

Good luck.

 

Yeah, you too.

 

I was put into the triage at the far end of the ward away from all the craziness that was your typical ER. I was grateful for this, I could do without the craziness.

 

Several minutes later the doctor and a nurse came in.

 

"Ms. Peters? What can I do for you tonight?"

 

I gritted my teeth.

 

"My knee. Well-I was trying to reach the wrapping paper in my closet--and well--"

 

"Who knew wrapping Christmas presents could be so dangerous." The doctor gave me an easy going smile. "Well, I want to see what we're dealing with here, let's get you into x-ray first. Then we'll go from there, okay?"

 

Following several x-rays of my right knee I was back in the triage room and the doctor was looking at the x-rays on an iPad.

 

"Given the amount of pain you're in. I would recommend surgery, but for now, all I can do is fix the dislocation and put your knee in an immobilizer."

 

I gritted my teeth again.

 

"Great, just how I wanted to spend my evening."

 

My mother, as always had a follow-up question.

 

"So when can we schedule the surgery.

 

"I'll give you a referral for an orthopedic surgeon and you follow up with them. They will schedule the surgery. If that's all, I'll fix your knee give you in an immobilizer and get your discharge papers and get you out of here."

 

Not quite the answer I had hoped for, particularly right before Christmas.

 

 

Later I texted Nathan again.

 

Guess who's having surgery next week?

 

Other than me? Nathan quipped. When?

 

December 22

 

Same day as me. What a coincidence!

 

Yeah, funny how that worked out

 

What hospital?

 

St. Thomas.

 

Me too. Well see you then I guess. Maybe we can get a room together.

 

This was followed by a wink face emoji.

 

Funny. Nothing can dampen your sense of humor, can it?

 

LOL! Not a chance!

 

 

The following Tuesday, I was leaving for the hospital at 4 AM and I had no doubt Nathan was doing the same depending on what time his pre-op check-in was. I might even see him and his family in all the running around.

 

The hospital was busy, even so early in the morning. The busy lobby was decked out in Christmas decorations and pediatric nurses were dressed in brightly colored scrubs and Santa hats.

 

The initial check-in was the easy part, it was all the waiting that was the hard part. From check-in we were shuffled into a triage room similar to the one I had been in the week before.

 

"Let's get your vitals and some other information and the doctor and anesthesiologist will be with you shortly." A plump nurse with short brown hair said. Was it a job requirement nurses had to look friendly? I wondered.

 

One by one the nurse checked off her checklist on a clipboard.

 

"Temperature-97 . 6, pulse-84, blood pressure is good and the last time you ate was 6 PM last night."

 

I nodded.

 

The nurse continued:

 

"Weight-124, height 5 2 and a quarter."

 

"5 3 if you stretch me." I offered hopefully.

 

The nurse gave a weak chuckle, so I figured it was a little early for cracking jokes. In the back of my mind I would hate to see the nurse who had to deal with Nathan this morning, but then again, I figured he was about as wide-awake as I was.

 

"Dr. Fisher and Dr. Hoyer will be in shortly, I think I have all the information I need for now. I'm Nancy, by the way." She smiled.

 

"Vivian." I replied. We shook hands.

 

"What a pretty name." Nancy commented, "Well Vivian, I look forward to helping you." With another smile she vanished behind the curtain.

 

Thirty to forty minutes later (which is a long time in the hospital) the doctor and anesthesiologist appeared.

 

Dr. Fisher was a thin gray-haired man in his early fifties with an easy-going personality. The anesthesiologist, Dr. Hoyer, on the other hand, was absurdly average, about 5 years older than I was and all business. At least he was in and out in five minutes. Through all this, I had yet to see Nathan, but I figured he was probably on the other side of the hospital.

 

Half an hour later, I was in the queue to go into the OR. I was still wondering where Nathan was and was wondering if I would see him. As they wheeled me into surgery I had my iPod queued to some of my favorite songs, surgery was a lot more palatable if I had nice music to listen to and pleasant things think about. My last thought before I drifted off was of Nathan and what he would say when I finally did see him whenever that was.

3: Chapter 2

My next conscious memory was of small, narrow curtained areas. Nathan was next to me and as the hospital rushed around us we talked quietly.

 

Then the nurses were ready for us.

 

"Were ready for you Mr. Clarence." One of the nurses said, then they came and wheeled him out the door towards the operating room.

 

I reached for his hand.

 

"You'll be okay, won't you?" I murmured squeezing his fingers.

 

Nathan gave me a sideways smile.

 

"Sure. No problem, don't you worry about me."

 

"That's sweet." One of the nurses commented, "You seem like you're really close."

 

I nodded and watched as they wheeled Nathan's bed past me and out the door.

 

"Yeah…" I murmured, "I love you, Nathan." Although I knew no one ever heard me say those words.

 

 

 

It was the oddest sense of déjà vu when I opened my eyes again. I was in an empty bright room with silently bustling nurses. My head felt like it weighed a million pounds and my vision was blurry. Once again, I tried to orient myself to the waking world.

 

"Welcome back Vivian," said a cheerful voice somewhere above me and I tried to focus, finally finding Nancy somewhere to my right. "I can bring in your parents if you like, they've been waiting for you to wake up."

 

"Yeah, okay." I mumbled. I felt like my words were coming from a long way off and took forever to come out of my mouth. I felt like I had hit by a truck; surgery was no vacation.

 

A short time later, my parents appeared. My mother's brown hair looked a little bit more unkempt than usual and my dad gave me a soft smile. It felt like any loud words would shatter the bubble that had been around me for the past few hours, however, there was one thing I had to know.

 

"Mom, dad, where's Nathan? He was having surgery today too." My voice sounded raspy and cracked, my tongue feeling too big for my mouth.

 

"Sweetheart, we saw his parents in the waiting room. He was in another OR… He should be done in another hour or so."

 

At least my mother knew what I wanted to know and she didn't ask any more questions, I didn't exactly feel like talking.

 

A few minutes later the nurses, including Nancy, were wheeling me to my room. I would stay in the hospital for a few days before going to a rehabilitation center down the street.

 

I was still waking up while Nancy chattered away.

 

"I hope you don't mind having a roommate. This guy is funny seems like he's a good conversationalist too."

 

"No roommate," I muttered, "I need my beauty sleep and not some jerk that's going to keep me up till 5 AM."

 

Nancy, much to my irritation, chuckled.

 

"Well I'll let you file a complaint with the hospital administration though I don't know what they can do about a patient's TV habits." Still chuckling, she walked out of the room.

 

Fuming, I stared at the ceiling. I was very particular on my hospital paperwork pre-surgery, I preferred no roommate mostly because I like to be able to actually get and sleep in a mostly dark room and not to be up except when doctors needed there early morning vital checks. That I could deal with, but not anything else.

 

My first visitor, however, was Dr. Fisher. Like any good surgeon, he was checking on his handiwork making sure my IV and pain meds were in order before leaving me to my own devices.

 

I was just dozing off having doused my pain meds again when the door opened for a second time. At first, I thought it was my parents coming back from the cafeteria, but clearly my parents decided to let me sleep. Nancy had been correct about me having a roomate as a couple of nurses were now rolling a second bed into the room.

 

I was about to object until I saw the person in the other bed.

 

"Nathan!" My voice cracked and the guy in the bed turned his head, giving me a somewhat bleary, dopey smile.

 

"V… Is that you?"

 

"Yeah, you too drugged up to recognize me?"

 

"Hope not." Nathan replied with a small frown. "They operated on my knee not my head."

 

"Could've fooled me, genius." I shot back and was rewarded with a raspy laugh.

 

"I take it you two know each other." The nurse by Nathan's bedside commented.

 

"Duh, this is my best friend since elementary school."

 

"Well, at least you got a little time to catch up." The nurse replied cheerfully.

 

Several minutes later a short, quiet Asian man came in to check on Nathan once he had left Nathan and I lay in silence before I spoke.

 

"So, how did your surgery go?" I asked.

 

"I don't know," Nathan replied flatly, "I was asleep. Went okay I guess, I'm in a Spica for the next 6 to 8 weeks… Crutches afterwards."

 

"Pink?" I asked.

 

Nathan frowned. "Pink what?"

 

"The cast, is it pink?"

 

Nathan actually laughed, for the first time actually sounding like himself.

 

"I didn't exactly get to pick, but no, it's not pink."

 

"Bummer." I pretended to look disappointed, "I wanted to get a picture of that, and post it on Facebook. As soon as we get out of bed I'll sign it for you."

 

Nathan gave me a lopsided smile.

 

"I'd like that."

4: Chapter 3

The next several days were long and boring; life in a hospital is not as fun as one would think and you're in a catch 22 because you need to heal and rest but are unable to because of all the hubbub going on (you would think people running the facility would think of that).

 

My first night with Nathan as my roommate was interesting to say the least. When we were finished talking about the normal types of things we talked about, or complaining about how much our knees were hurting we watched a Home Alone marathon for lack of anything better to do. After that, our doctors and nurses came in to check on us before we turned in, but at this point sleep was questionable.

 

Nathan's doctor was a man by the name of Dr. Chin, the slender Asian man I had seen earlier.

 

"Don't stay up too late." Nancy teased, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She winked and to my surprise Nathan blushed.

 

"What does she think we're going to do?" He asked as soon as Nancy had left.

 

"Come on Nathan, I'm sure you can figure that out." I said lightly. Joking about it was easier than really stopping to think about it; the idea made me too uncomfortable.

 

Nathan made a face and then he was quiet clearly he had as much on his mind as I did. Eventually, when the noise in the hallway had died down somewhat we finally turned in. When the lights were out, we lay facing each other in the dark.

 

"How is your knee?" I asked.

 

"Tolerable." Nathan answered, "Yours?"

 

"Same." I replied, "Sore and stiff. I feel like I have a lead brick for a leg though."

 

We talked until the latest dose of pain meds had knocked us both out and we slept until the doctors came to wake us a few hours later. By then, however we were both too tired and groggy to say much of anything else.

 

The only other awkward thing about having Nathan has a roommate was figuring out bathroom schedules. At this point we both had catheters in, which Nathan joked about constantly. Our only other bump in the road was closing curtains so we can use a bedpan when we needed to-again-another thing about hospitals I detested, there was something undignified about it. Nathan and I never talked about it though.

 

"I'll be glad when I can sit on a toilet again." I muttered after such an incident.

 

Nathan chuckled.

 

"Yeah, me too, this is just… awkward." He shrugged, "What about a hospital isn't?"

 

"You want me to start a list?" I asked sarcastically, "There's a pen over there." I gestured to my bedside table.

 

Nathan chuckled again.

 

"I wouldn't be on your list what I?" He asked with another smile that made his eyes sparkle in a way I particularly liked.

 

"Would I be on yours?" I shot back.

 

Nathan's eyes softened.

 

"No. I actually do like you Vivian."

 

"You're actually the best hospital roommate I've ever had. The last guy watched TV till 5 AM; I never got any sleep."

 

"Well I'll try not to keep you up." Nathan smiled. "Unless I snore."

 

I laughed.

 

"Funny."

 

"You wouldn't mind if I snored?" Nathan asked cocking an eyebrow.

 

"Not unless I shared a bed with you." I replied. Then realizing what I said I stopped talking leaving Nathan and I staring at each other as an awkward silence ensued until Nathan finally changed the subject.

 

The day following our surgeries Nathan's family stopped by. While his brother Scott lived in Indiana, his brother Mark and parents still live in Nashville. Like everyone else, they seem surprised to see us sharing a room.

 

"You didn't bribe the nurses to give you a room together, did you?" Mark teased.

 

I grinned, shaking my head.

 

"No way," I smiled at Nathan, "I guess I just got lucky." For a long moment Nathan and I held each other's gaze and there seemed to be more passing between us than what I had just said.

 

"Sure." Mark replied, "Now don't get any ideas."

 

"Mark, really." Nathan shook his head at his brother. Fortunately, Mrs. Clarence changed the subject. She was an average looking woman with graying hair, while his father was thinner, but well preserved. All three of the Clarence boys favored Mr. Clarence with their average height and slightly muscular build. Mark was taller and lankier, while Nathan was slightly shorter, and much more like his mother; though his face still similar to his father's.

 

"So, Nathan, how are you feeling dear?"

 

Nathan shrugged.

 

"Okay I guess, but the meds sure knock me for a loop. I would finish this conversation before the next round kicks in." He grinned. "Before I start speaking gibberish."

 

"Can't say I'm familiar with that language, bro." Mark teased, "It's not a computer language either."

 

"What about you, Vivian? How are you feeling?"

 

"Okay I guess. Sleeping is still a pain and I'm pretty groggy most of the time. I guess you caught me at a good moment."

 

"Your parents handling this okay?"

 

"As well as to be expected," I replied, "with Christmas coming up. The plan is to bring everything to the hospital. We're most likely to be transferred to the rehabilitation center after the new year."

 

Mrs. Clarence nodded.

 

"Yes, though they haven't given us a date yet. You may be going over before Nathan since his surgery was a bit more extensive."

 

We talked for a few more minutes for the Clarences' left. Afterwards my parents called. Mom wanting to know when they could come by. Glancing at the clock I told them probably later that afternoon since I knew both Nathan and I wanted to take a nap before our doctors made their afternoon rounds.

 

"You ready for the heavy duty stuff?" Nathan asked, after I had gotten off the phone.

 

"By now, yes." I replied. We both had our pain pumps within reach though I knew it would take us both several minutes to fall asleep.

 

"See you in dreamland." Nathan quipped.

 

"Maybe there you'll actually say yes to a date." I countered.

 

Nathan turned on his pillow and smiled at me his eyebrows raised again, though his eyes twinkled in amusement.

 

"Don't count on it." He replied.

 

"Never say never." I shot back as I stifled a yawn.

5: Chapter 4

It was two days before Christmas and I was currently on the phone with my mom. Nathan was asleep so I tried to be quiet.

 

"Without giving anything away what about my Christmas presents?" I asked. "Last I checked they were still in my very messy bedroom."

 

"And Caroline and your cousin Nolan are coming in to help," my mom answered, "I'm sure they'll take care of it. Don't worry."

 

"Yeah, easy for you to say, you're not laid up till who knows when."

 

"Don't worry dear, you'll manage. Hang in there."

 

The plan was to have the family come in for Christmas Eve for a bit and we would get together on Christmas morning open presents and all that. In another few weeks Nathan and I would be out of the hospital and on our way to the rehabilitation center then the real work would begin as we started our long road to recovery.

 

"So when are you coming by on Christmas Eve?"

 

"Probably sometime in the afternoon or early evening." My mother answered. "Aunt Caroline and the rest of us will be by on Christmas morning as usual. What about Nathan's family?"

 

"I think they're coming over on Christmas as well. Nathan and I were talking about just everybody getting together."

 

"Sounds good. Maybe we can all watch the Christmas service together online."

 

I nodded even though I knew she couldn't see me.

 

"That's what I was thinking, Nathan and I were planning on doing that anyway, since we've got nothing better to do."

 

"Good, I'll see you then."

 

I was just hanging out my phone when Nathan woke up.

 

"Good afternoon sleeping beauty." I teased.

 

Nathan smiled lazily.

 

"I actually need lunch." He chuckled, "My breath probably smells horrible; so don't get too close." He grinned again.

 

"I don't think Nancy won't mind, I'm sure she's been through worse."

 

Nathan smiled.

 

"I'm sure."

 

"By the way, while you're at it I think I could go for some Jell-O too."

 

Nathan, however, had already beat me to it and pressed the button for the nurses' station.

 

"Hey, Nathan and Vivian here in room 223 and we need lunch and some Jell-O."

 

The nurse who answered seemed amused.

 

"I'll see what I can do."

 

After making quick work of our lunch, Nathan and I took turns fighting over who got which flavor of Jell-O and while we ate our meager dessert we both pulled out our laptops (hey, we had to have something to do while we were recovering).

 

While I surfed the Internet, Nathan pulled up a blog post. I looked up from what I was doing.

 

"What you writing?" I asked.

 

"What's currently facing LGBT Christians with the current political climate." Nathan replied.

 

I nodded.

 

"Sounds like a good read." I replied. "Can't wait to read it."

 

Nathan nodded again as he began typing slowly.

 

"I hope so."

 

We fell into silence again. I didn't want to tell Nathan he better finish up before my parents came by or there would be a lot of awkward questions to answer. I still didn't feel comfortable discussing Nathan's sexuality with my family; I liked it being the type of thing just the two of us could talk about though I knew I wasn't the only person he had told. I was very much straight but I enjoyed discussing LGBT issues and how they related to the Christian community; I liked being in that part of Nathan's life and being a person he could confide  in. When I was done with what I was doing (I was currently outlining a story I was working on) I settled down to watch Nathan work. Until we were both more mobile I couldn't really look over his shoulder, but for now I was content to discuss something only the two of us talked about. For the moment I forgot I was even in the hospital.

6: Chapter 5

After being in the hospital for a week I was starting to get pretty sick of it. I had been in the hospital twice before, once for my wisdom teeth and another time when I had broken my arm falling off the jungle gym when I was 12 (that had required surgery and a few days stay in the hospital until the doctors had made sure everything was as it should be). There was little to break up the monotony, even with Nathan to keep me company.

 

By now, the nurses and physical therapist were working on getting us moving, even if it was just putting our feet on the floor. The only thing we both complained about was how cold it was so after that we both wore socks when the PT came in. Nancy had also promised the catheters would come out after the holidays; Nathan and I had high-fived after hearing that.

 

"As convenient as it is I'm tired of peeing in bed." He said fervently.

 

It was Christmas Eve and Nathan and I were talking quietly after eating our dinner when the carolers came by. It was common practice around this time of year that people volunteered to sing Christmas carols at the hospital. Normally I found this annoying since I was usually trying to sleep, but since Nathan was such a good roommate and kept me in a good mood I didn't mind.

We paused in our conversation to listen to "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" and "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" before the carolers moved on. After they had moved to the next room Nathan asked:

 

"What time is your church service?"

 

I glanced at the clock.

 

"In about half an hour." I answered. "Yours or mine?"

 

Nathan raised his eyebrows.

 

"Which laptop, genius." I cut in.

 

"Mine, I guess," Nathan answered, as he spoke he reached for his laptop on one of the bedside tables, "my screen's bigger."

 

I rolled my eyes shaking my head.

 

"Sure," I muttered with a smile, "rub it in."

 

 

Situating the laptop between the beds we watched the service. While I scribbled down notes, Nathan watched the screen with his hands folded. After the service was over we both worked on writing before going to bed. I listened to the TV as I dozed off before my meds kicked in.

 

"What time your parents coming in?" I asked through a yawn.

 

"Probably after breakfast." Nathan replied when he finally turned off the TV almost an hour later.

 

"Yeah, mine should be here around 9 or so." I answered, "My Aunt Caroline and cousin Nolan are coming in too."

 

"It'll be a party." Nathan murmured as he lay down.

 

"Yeah," I agreed mildly, "just don't get any crazy ideas or they're going to toss us out."

 

Nathan chuckled as he rolled over.

 

"Good night, V, see you in the morning." He yawned, "Merry Christmas."

 

When I opened my eyes next it was to some nurse (not bubbly Nancy) singing Christmas carols. Rolling over (as much as I could with the splint on my leg I looked over at Nathan. Most of the time unless we had personal business to attend to we kept the privacy screen open between our beds, at the moment he was still asleep, but I wasn't sure for how long. Rarely did I have a chance see Nathan relaxed he was working so hard. The laptop on his bedside table reminded me of that. I vaguely wondered what he was going to do about work after the holidays were over.

 

Finally Nathan opened his eyes and when he rolled over he just looked at me.

 

"How long have you been staring at me?" He asked, point blank.

 

I gave a half shrug, feeling put on the spot.

 

"Long enough."

 

Either of us were saved from answering when Nancy and another nurse breezed into the room.

 

"Merry Christmas!" She said cheerily, "Time to check some vitals before we all get the party started!" She was dressed in red and green scrubs and wearing a Santa hat, but I guess if it made patients feel better than more power to her.

 

Nathan groaned.

 

"Don't know how much partying I'll be doing today," he muttered, "my leg is killing me!"

 

"Well let's see if we can do something about that. How are you Vivian? How's your pain level?"

 

"Four." I answered, "I'm okay… For now."

 

"Well let me know if you need anything, or notify one of the other nurses, I'm leaving this afternoon. I'll be back tomorrow though." She winked.

 

While Nancy bustled around boosting Nathan's pain meds I looked at the clock. It was a little after 7, our parents would be here in an hour or so.

 

"You feeling better?" I asked after Nancy had left the room.

 

"A little bit." Nathan answered, "Just give me a minute." He lay back on his pillow and closed his eyes.

 

While Nathan rested, I settled down to my breakfast. Like most people, I wasn't the biggest fan of hospital food, but it was better than nothing and being is pumped up on medication as I was, I needed something else in my system other than drugs. I was just finishing the last of a banana when my parents walked in the door followed by my Aunt Caroline and cousin Nolan.

 

My aunt and cousin it seemed had finished wrapping the rest of the presents, as my cousin Nolan was currently struggling with several large boxes. Nolan was 19, tall, lanky and redhaired. He was the spitting image of his father as were the rest of my cousins, all redhaired and freckled. Unlike my mother who was sallow and dark, my aunt was short, curvy, fair and bubbly.

 

"Shh, keep it down." I nodded towards Nathan who was dozing quietly.

 

"His parents coming in?" My mother asked.

 

"Not for a while." I answered. "The nurse just gave him another dose of painkillers, his knee was really hurting him this morning."

 

For the next half-hour we all made quiet conversation and Nathan didn't wake up until almost 9 o'clock shortly before his family walked in the door.

 

"How long have I been asleep?" He asked.

 

"Almost an hour." I affirmed, "I tried to keep everyone quiet."

 

Nathan smiled.

 

"Thanks."

 

 

The Clarences walked in the door a short time later, also laden down with several presents. By now, the hospital room was getting quite crowded. We spent the next hour passing around gifts exclaiming over the things we had not been expecting. As expected Nathan got a selection of T-shirts and the latest gadget he wanted. Neither of us had asked for much, and that was before we had both gotten injured. One of my last presents was surprisingly from Nathan. Inside the envelope was a card with a dancing reindeer on the front which read:

 

"Spirits Shining Bright"

 

Inside the card was a note from Nathan which looked like it had been typed on a computer, emailed twice and printed out.

 

Inside it read:

 

I didn't know what to get you since I normally don't get you anything and it's hard to think of what to get someone when you're stuck in bed. So I had Mark and Scott do some shopping and they found this. Hope you find it useful for writing your next bestseller.

Merry Christmas,

Your friend, Nathan Clarence

 

It was then I noticed the object tucked inside the fat part of the envelope and out of the red envelope fell a big, fat fountain pen.

 

For a long time I just stared at it as it glimmered black and gold on the hospital bed spread. It was then I noticed there was something written on the pen.

 

Squinting I was finally able to make out the inscription.

 

"You're My Bestseller" 12-25-16

 

For a moment Nathan and I only smiled at each other.

 

"Oh… wow… Nathan. Thank you."

 

Nathan smiled, and for the first time he didn't look tired and his eyes had a bit of their old spark back.

 

"You're welcome." He said quietly, "I'd get up and hug you but…" He chuckled. "Merry Christmas Vivian."

 

After the excitement of opening presents the rest of the day was relatively low-key. Thanks to a couple of nurses Nathan and I spent most of the afternoon playing cards, but after a while we got tired and took a nap. We were also surprised when they brought us turkey and fixings for our dinner, which were surprisingly good. It wasn't our mothers homemade cooking, but it was better than nothing.

 

After such a full day Nathan and I were both tired well before 9 PM usually we would've both stayed up till at least 10 or 11 but given we were both on pain medication, in pain and somewhat cranky we both turned in early.

 

I was in the middle of a particularly good dream when a jarring scream woke me up out of a sound sleep. It took me a while to figure out what was going; on our door was open and figures were rushing in and it took me a several seconds to realize the person screaming was Nathan.

7: Chapter 6

I had never heard someone scream like that, and I watched helplessly as the doctors and nurses rushed around.

 

"Nathan, where does it hurt?" One nurse asked.

 

"My leg, my knee--" Nathan gasped, "it's all tight!"

 

The doctors and nurses looked at each other and I heard the words "muscle spasms" then they were rushing around and putting something in Nathan's IV.

 

Finally, when things calmed down, one of the nurses turned to me.

 

"You okay hon?" She asked. She was a big dark skinned lady with frizzy hair.

 

"I guess." I replied, "He's my best friend, I only wish there was something I could do."

 

"We can move his bed a little closer to you; maybe you can hold his hand," she suggested, "I'm sure he'd like that; make him feel better."

 

"Yeah, sure." I replied. "That sounds nice."

 

So that's what the nurses did, they moved Nathan's bed a little closer to mine and after rearranging the IV poles and other monitors we were literally side-by-side, my hand within reaching distance of Nathan's. Finally, I reached out and grasped his hand which was lying on the bed covers. I gave it a squeeze.

 

"I'm here Nathan, I've always been here, don't you forget that. Just hang in there okay?"

 

Nathan, by this time was pretty out of it and I had a feeling he was half asleep. Finally he had relaxed somewhat but I don't know if that was the medicine taking effect or the effect my voice and touch was having on him.

 

We fell asleep holding hands. For once, it was the closeness I had always wanted from him. I only hoped things would be better in the morning.

 

 

The next morning I was awoken by the sun drifting lazily through the partially closed curtains. At some point during the night Nathan and I had released each other's hands, but were still side-by-side.

 

I looked over at him and smiled.

 

"Nathan? You awake?"

 

Then he turned towards me, a tired smile on his lips his blue eyes looking somewhat bleary.

 

"Hey."

 

"Hey." I replied, "You okay? You had a pretty rough night."

 

"I'm okay." Nathan murmured, "You?"

 

"I'm okay, but I think when Nancy comes in I'm going to need my pain meds topped off."

 

We were quiet for a few minutes. Then Nathan's eyes met mine.

 

"Hey Vivian?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I know I might've freaked you out a little last night, I don't really remember… Just being in a crap load of pain, "he cracked another smile, "but thanks."

 

My heart did some sort of funny tap dance in my chest that I didn't want to investigate too closely

 

"Anytime." I replied just loud enough for him to hear. He didn't know how much I would move heaven and earth if that's what it took for him to be happy, because if he wasn't happy I wasn't. I couldn't ignore the connection we had always had even if it was only as friends but somehow it seemed to be much more than that.

8: Chapter 7

 

Finally, a few days after New Year's the catheters came out. After several weeks Nathan and I could move about freely (though with assistance) it felt good to be somewhat human again.

 

"What a relief to be able to put on real clothes again!" Nathan exclaimed when his brother had finally helped him into a clean pair of boxers. I had done much of the same and we took turns closing the curtain between us to change; we had since dispensed with our hospital gowns.

 

"You ready to get out of here Vivian?" Nancy asked a few days later.

 

I shrugged.

 

"I don't know." I answered honestly, "It feels weird leaving Nathan, knowing he's not coming with me."

 

"Aww," Nancy said in a tone of voice I hated (the tone of voice that said "that's cute") he'll be along soon enough, just you wait and see."

 

I gave her a bland smile, even though I knew she was right.

 

"Just give us another week or so to make sure he can get on his feet and then we'll make sure he gets back to you." She winked.

 

I blushed.

 

"Yeah," I murmured, "like he was ever mine, or ever will be."

 

I moved into the rehabilitation facility the following week. By then, everyone was getting accustomed to the new year and being back to work after the long holiday. I found businesses tended to run more smoothly after Christmas because everyone was so well rested and in a good mood.

 

The facility was enormous! A large lobby that branched off to several long hallways with more large rooms at the ends of various hallways. Down more hallways were individual rooms where the long term patients stayed; where Nathan and I would be staying for the next few months. I figured it was best to get myself acclimated with the place before Nathan got there so I knew what I was doing. At least now I could get around in a wheelchair instead of waiting for people to come and help me with every little thing.

 

My favorite nurse by far was Sherry, a nurse about my age with wavy strawberry blonde hair, and in the artificial lighting sometimes it looked almost orange, but she took the ribbing from a couple of the male nurses in good humor.

 

Sherry and I quickly became fast friends and I figured it was safe to tell her about Nathan, minus a few details.

 

"Yeah," she replied, "he's on my roster, coming in a week or so."

 

For now, I had a room to myself and when I wasn't writing, in therapy, or surfing the Internet I was texting Nathan as he continued to update me on his recovery.

 

They're keeping me moving (ow!) He wrote, one afternoon after my introduction with the physical therapist, Karen, should be along soon. Though it's hard to go to the bathroom with a guy standing there (sexuality notwithstanding)

 

I grinned at that.

 

He went on for a couple more minutes about feeling oddly it's those long needing help in the bathroom. Finally, I cut in.

 

At least you can pee standing up

 

Yeah, don't know how well that's going at the moment, I almost fell yesterday. They still want me sitting down on the toilet most of the time right now, I'll see how I do when I get on crutches.

 

Those were most of our conversation, very frank, very matter-of-fact conversations about life and our situation, such as it was.

 

It was Sunday night and my parents had just left when Sherry came in to check on me before bed. I was sore, as I normally was after two rounds of therapy so when I wasn't up in my wheelchair I was resting.

 

"I have good news, your friend's coming tomorrow."

 

"That's great!"

 

"You really like this guy," Sherry asked as she checked my chart one last time and straightened a pillow.

 

"Yeah," I replied, "but it's complicated." (I wasn't about to tell her how complicated).

 

Sherry chuckled. "It always is. Well I'm going to turn things over to the night nurse if you don't need anything else." she replied, "If you need more Tylenol let them know. I'll see you in the morning."

 

As she left the room she turned out the light. I finished getting ready for bed with the help of a flashlight my mother had given me. I wasn't going to stay up that late, after all I had therapy at 9 AM the next morning. When I finally lay down to sleep my mind was racing with questions and scenarios, Nathan the most prominent topic.

 

 

"Guess who's coming in today!" Sherry sang when she came to get me for breakfast the next morning. (After breakfast I had therapy then it was back to my room followed by more therapy later that afternoon.)

 

"Nathan." I guessed, without having to guess at all.

 

"Bingo!" Sherry trilled, "Now let's get you into your chair and get some food. That sound good?"

 

"Hey, I've never been one to turn down a meal." I replied with a laugh.

 

I had just returned from my morning therapy session with Karen when Nathan came in. He was wearing pajama pants and a T-shirt and was sitting in a wheelchair, but nevertheless he had a smile on his face.

 

"Hey," he greeted, "Long time no see."

 

"You haven't seen me for a week and we've been texting and calling each other every day," I replied dryly, "it's not like I don't know what's up with you."

 

Nathan grinned.

 

"True."

 

"You met Sherry yet?"

 

"Whose Sherry?" Nathan asked.

 

"Perky little redheaded nurse that is on our wing." I replied. "She's really nice."

 

Nathan stretched.

 

"I got a meeting with my doctor and the physical therapist after lunch, I'm sure I'll run into her soon."

 

"Whacked anybody with your cast yet?" I asked conversationally, changing the subject.

 

"The only casualties were a few door jams." Nathan replied with a chuckle. "I'm not the best driver."

 

"Hey at least we can have races now!" I replied brightly.

 

"I'm not sure how the people around here would like that." Nathan replied.

 

"Chicken?" I teased.

 

Nathan raised his hands and defense. "V… I'm just saying…" Then we both grinned at each other and cracked up. Suddenly Nathan turned serious.

 

"Did they say anything to you about us sharing a room?"

 

"No. Why?"

 

"Some of the nurses seem to have the idea we'd hook up." He looked very serious again.

 

"Maybe run that by me again when we're not laid up," I replied, "hard to get it on when you're not very mobile to begin with."

 

Things dissolved into an awkward silence as what had been happening with Nathan and I since he had come out to me; since it was common knowledge I was attracted to him.

 

"Vivian, are things getting weird between us again?" Nathan asked gently.

 

"Maybe a little." I admitted. "I just…" I blew out a breath but didn't finish my sentence.

 

We locked eyes again, once again lost for words.