I go by the name of Abel I was murdered by my own brother, my own and flesh and blood killed me he ended my life and now I am going to come back to this putrid festering world and slaughter, everyone.

Cain might have killed me but I am going to show him up by killing and butchering seven billion innocent people and no one will stop me I shall wreak bloody horror on this planet until I’m the only one standing.

“Cain… dear brother of mine…I’m coming for you”

Now under normal circumstances I wouldn’t be trying to kill anyone but the reaper had brought back two souls and it was decided that I go to heaven but I wasn’t having any of it no I was going to keep the promise I made to myself and purge the earth and what would I use to do this well the very weapon that was used to kill me of course the jawbone that Cain gripped in his hand that dealt the death blow but how am I going to do this I’m dead I have lost the right to do things that living people can do well if it wasn’t for the grim reaper having to get rid of me because for some reason he had to make room for Icarus and Hades how they ended up in purgatory I do not know and I do not care either the reaper trusted me to make my own way to heaven but I was about to abuse his trust and instead make my way down to the earth to begin my massacre.

Meanwhile on earth…

I was in the study with Alice drinking tea in silence the odd small slurp noise could be heard I was summoned to the study for something but my master insisted that we drink tea before we have a verbal exchange and so here we were I wasn’t quite sure how long it would be in till we talked but I had finished my drink and placed my mug on a coaster that was decorated with the Carmichael family crest and then as soon as I did settle my mug I heard the clink of china as the opposing cup was placed back on the saucer.

“Harry you're probably wondering why I have called you here today…well if I am going, to be honest, you’re not going to like it”

“Well I did not think it would be as bad as your making out to be but now I am not too sure your current demeanour is giving off a very negative vibe and that only grows as you say that I am not going to like it but still I am intrigued”

I received a letter today it wasn’t addressed to anyone in particular but I feel that you will be able to understand the contents far better than me…it reads”

~

Auld lang syne lost in time,

Auld lang syne a weapon so fine,

Auld lang syne and now your mine,

~

 

I was in absolute disbelief of what I was hearing I could feel my heart trying to vomit its own blood and drown me from within my mug shattered under my fist as it was slammed on the table.

“Is nothing fucking sacred anymore in this god damn universe…this can’t be happening it really can’t…anything but this, anything…”

During my little rant, I got up off my chair and slumped down in the corner my body shaking involuntarily and this must have concerned Alice because she got up and kneeled down next to me.

“Harry what’s wrong what’s this Auld lang syne and what does this letter mean…it must be really horrific if it’s got you in this state”

“Horrific that doesn’t even begin to describe what I am about to tell you…Auld lang syne is the nullification spell to the weasels blade lest its name brings terror to the void…the weasels blade is the reason god is in heaven and the reason the devil is in hell they are in their respective locations not out of choice but out of pure unadulterated fear”

The study went into absolute silence and Alice turned around to lean back against the adjacent wall I couldn’t think of anything to say that would be even the least bit comforting so I gave my master a chance to say something that would enable me to reply with an answer.

“Harry, tell me honestly what is the weasels blade and how much trouble will we be in if it gets into the wrong hands because if we are in danger I need to know what type of danger”

I was expecting this question because honestly what else could be asked at a time like this so I took a moment to think of the best way to put it.

“Well master just try and think of the most evil malevolent thing that exists or could exist in this universe and then shape it into a sword and to answer the second question well let’s just say my fallen kingdom spell is Winnie the pooh in comparison and this means you don’t want anyone to get their hands on it”

“Harry do you have any idea who could have knowledge of this and who would want to use it”

Alice and I had made our way into the kitchen during my short explanation of the weapon and we were now on our second round of tea, I had my thoughts on who might want to use it and the only name that came to mind was Tenatan Louthist but even he wouldn’t stoop that low…would he?

“Alice I do not know if I can answer that question but I know someone who can, it’s time the bird and the snake had a little chinwag don’t you think”

Alice immediately stood up and rushed out the door and I followed behind after putting my master’s half-drunk tea into the microwave for later.

At the Masonic lodge

Knock…knock

Alice had taken the whole process in stride we were currently waiting at the front door for someone to speak to, thankfully we didn’t have to wait long until an elderly gentleman dressed to the nines greeted us.

“Oh Ms Carmichael how have you been, it’s been while since we have seen you at the lodge please come inside you and your friend”

“Thank you, Jeffery, I have been fine I’ve just come by to talk to Mr Louthist it’s of the utmost urgency”

“I do apologise but Mr Louthist is currently in one of “those” meetings so he will be unavailable for quite some time I’m afraid”

Hearing this I gave Alice the letter we received and prompted her to give it to him knowing that this would grant us an audience with the one who we want to talk to.

“Ah, of course, would you be as kind as to give Mr Louthist this letter for me it really is important Jeffrey”

“That shouldn’t be a problem I will see to it straight away, why don’t you make yourselves comfortable here there is tea and a cake selection for you while you wait”

We both sat as the mason ran off to deliver our letter, in the meantime I decided to go and make myself and Alice a brew I also managed to spy two Viennese whirls which I grabbed and then made my way back to Alice”

Thank you, Harry, how much do you think the serpent will know about the sword?

I was about to answer before I was interrupted by what I assume to be Louthist.

“WHAT!!! WHERE ARE THEY, I MUST SEE THEM NOW”

“Master I do believe Mr Louthist is just as acquainted with the sword as I am”

“Yes I do believe your right”

The serpent had rushed down to greet us like his arse was on fire and we were swooped to in a smallish meeting room where we sat and talked, well we would be talking but Alice and I were just waiting for Louthist panic attack to subside all in all I counted thirty paces in under a minute most impressive if I do say so myself after a while he managed to sit down he was gripping the paper with shaking hands.

“Bird of Hermes do you know who...know who sent this”

“No it arrived this morning and I too found the contents most distressing you’re not the only one”

Alice was still drinking her tea and listing to us I don’t even think Tenatan knew she was here he was so engrossed in the subject at hand I was the only one who currently existed and he looked none the wiser Louthist and I have good reason to be worried about this as it was us and one other who were tasked with sealing the sword away in the first place and it was only us three who knew the nullification code that would awaken it from its slumber and I for one had tried to remove the knowledge of its existence out of my head and there was no way Louthist would have broken the seal, this sort of panic is not the kind that you can learn at any acting school.

“Who could have done such a thing and why would they”

“Well serpent I know for a fact that neither of us could have done it so that only leaves one other”

I took my first bite of my Viennese whirl and waited for Louthist to make the connection I was hinting at in all honesty I could not believe I was suggesting such a thing but it was the only option I had to choose from and I did not want to be right for the first time I was hoping that I was dead wrong…please let me be wrong please for the love of mercury let me be wrong.

“You seriously cannot be suggesting what I think you are…that’s nonsense, preposterous…but it’s the only way it could happen…but we haven’t seen him in ages I can’t even remember when the sealing took place”

My master had managed to finish her tea and cake then go and make all three of us a tea before we even knew she left and still Louthist did not know that I was with Alice yet another amazing feat.

“We were all volunteers none of us were press ganged into doing it so it is possible that the seal could be broken and you remember who the other volunteer is, don’t you”

There was a moment of silence and some slurping from all three of us as we periodically picked up our cup and took a sip of tea allowing for our minds to clear so we could think straight.

“Abel…Abel was the only other one who volunteered to do the sealing and it would make sense that he would want to do it he is the first person to die after all and he was killed by Cain his own brother so it’s safe to assume it is bad blood”

“Yes it safe to assume that but don’t you think that the weasel’s blade is taking a simple case of revenge to far, hell even suggesting using the blade would be taking it too far”

“I’m sorry but I need to finish my meeting I will keep in touch with you and I will ask some of my contacts to see if they heard anything about it…will you please let Ms Carmichael know that I would like a personal audience as soon as possible”

My master and I were left alone in the meeting room and then bid farewell to Jeffery as we took in the sunlight and cool breeze that greeted us as we walked home but then decided to just take the portal express and wound up in the living room in a matter of seconds to just plop down on the sofa and have enough time to catch Paul sinner wipe out two remaining contestants on the Chase which was greeted with a cheer from the both of us.

“Harry for now let’s just enjoy relaxing in front of the television and worry about the impending apocalypse tomorrow”

“I could not have said it better master”

Meanwhile at the Garden of Eden…

The tree of life once resplendent in white,

Leafs of green and of a healthy sheen,

The red liquid of the dead that flows freely enveloping dread,

My brother Cain died in much the same way as I in a lot of pain,

The tree of life no longer resplendent in white,

Leafs of green, sad and wilted they now seem.

“Mum, dad I do not expect you to like what I am about to do but I would like you to know this…I will not stop until planet earth is empty all your bastard children…are going to die”

Did I want to do such a thing like kill before, the answer to that question is no-no I didn’t but I have been left no choice in the matter I guess I could just sit back with my feet up and wait this whole temptation out…but what fun would that be?

The sheer thought of using the weasel’s blade to do this dirty work is almost a temptation in and of itself this is a once in a lifetime experience for me and for everyone else too.

The only two things that could prove to be hindrances are the bothersome bird and that slippery serpent so I might as well deal with them first.

My master and I had turned in early so we could entertain Louthist tomorrow, Alice lied in her bed I outside her room on guard I thought it would be a good idea to up the security and this dark hallway was the perfect place to ponder the many mysteries of the universe several hours had ticked by and I heard light shuffling downstairs and a couple of thumps to boot so naturally I went down to check and it wasn’t until I made it into the living room that I saw a body that was still breathing laid out on the couch.

“Right let’s turn some lights on and see what we got here”

Click…

“Well whoever it is they surely are banged up there’s blood everywhere Alice is not going to like this”

I went to the kitchen and fetched a glass of water for the guest and as I was just passing the door I heard him speak out.

“Bird…of…Hermes …It’s me…Louthist, I have come to warn you…you need to listen…hurry!”

 

Upon hearing Louthist I rushed over to him and kneeled down to hear what he had to say which must be extremely important if he still came all this way in this state.

 “Dear god man what is it you have to tell me”

“Abel…weasel’s blade…behind you…”

I stood up as quick as I could and spun around to see the one person in the entirety of existence I did not want to see the first of the dead the one who died before anyone or anything else got a chance to the brother of Cain, the son of Adam and Eve…Abel, this not wanting to see him was further increased by the fact that he was wielding the sword of infinite sins the ungodly sword the blade of all that is hateful in the universe and here it was in my living room…oh, what a fun night this has turned out to be.

“Why do you show your face here Abel you have become a traitor of existence by just holding that putrid thing, HOW DARE YOU, WHAT DO YOU WANT, TELL ME NOW!”

“What do I want, huh how typical the bird of Hermes stands before the first of the dead and he asks what I want you have always been a slow one, but regardless I will tell you I want to murder every single person and other living things on this planet until it is completely empty and void of life”

“That’s a big ask Abel and just how do you plan on doing that it would be silly to think that you could use the sword because we both know that sword only has one proper owner which mind you was chosen before the sword was even a thing that existed so the sword will not synergise with you unless you are the rightful owner”

“Oh I know this Bird that’s why I am committing mass murder because when I manage to kill the owner of the sword I can then transfer some of their blood to my own body and I will be able to use the power of this horrible artefact

Tenatan had somehow managed to find the strength to stand up and next to me just by looking at him I can see he didn’t have time to change out of his free mason robes.

The serpent of Arabia which is I and the bird of Hermes will stop you, you can count on that but not only that we will destroy you and that horror that you hold in your hands will be sealed away once again for the rest of forever.

2: Chapter 2 The semi-good vs the mostly evil

 

“Hmm a fight is that what you want, you know that’s a good idea, how about we have one right now two on one let’s go”

I decided it would be best if we had this fight in the Gobi desert just so nothing would get damaged and Alice would not get woken up but it’s not like I would tell Abel about my master for one I don’t want to put her in danger and I don’t want Abel thinking I’m some sort of slave but regardless I had have other things to think about like this fight that I so desperately want and I had a chance to think more about this after me and Louthist touched down on the cool sand which then turned into a storm as Abel made his entrance and the sand didn’t die down as much as stop completely like it was frozen in the air and then it just dropped down harmlessly.

“So here we are together for the second time the bird of Hermes and the serpent of Arabia come to kill poor old me, I’m flattered…really I am, who else would get the chance to be on the bad side of two of the strongest most powerful beings in the universe but I digress I have come to kill everybody and you are the only two who are standing in my way so it seems I will have to kill you so how do you feel about that”

“I don’t care if I die or not but if you think I’m just going to sit idly by and watch you slaughter everyone else then you have another thing coming”

“Umm interesting an opponent who does not care about their own health and safety and would sooner kill themselves than allow any harm to come to anyone who is not a threat is truly a dangerous opponent but more to the point what about you snake what have you to say about this”

“I may not have seen eye to eye with the bird on occasion hell last week we almost destroyed each other so yeah it’s safe to say that our ideals don’t always match but in any case I hold the utmost respect for my feathered friend and I have grown to like this place a couple a hundred years will do that to you I think”

“Two very good answers I like that and I think before we fight we should each say our peace if you know what I mean”

“I looked over to Tenatan who was standing ready like he knew what Abel was going to ask, he looked over at me and we both nodded, I gestured my hand to signify he can go first”

The winds blew briskly but not a single grain of sand was disturbed almost as if this wind was only meant for the three of us and nothing else.

…

“I will tell you with plain declaration and introduce you to my generation of Omogeni and Magnesia a father and mother of cold-blooded flight”

“Azot, no truer sister could be had a loving sibling and one of meek fortitude, seldom flow a river of blood in her truncated gaze”

“Kibrick Forsooth as sharp and pointed as my front tooth, one of a mild disposition and who always finds sanctuary under the rainfall of tears shed by the innocent dead”

“The Serpent of Arabia is my name and as of now I am in charge of this game”

…I heard that after our fight and mainly the power struggle we had it had some adverse effects and I could clearly see that with the much larger wings that had sprouted from my teammates back and his tail was much longer and it seemed to almost have a mind of its own.

Then it was my turn and I was intrigued to find out what changes happened to me it’s not like I need a boost of any kind I am basically a walking Armageddon  but that’s only true if I am  comparing myself to normal people but enough about that it was time for my introduction.

…

“In the sea without lees standeth the bird of Hermes”

“Eating his wings variable and maketh himself yet full stable”

“When all feathers be from him gone he standeth still here as a stone”

“Here is now both white and red and also, the stone to quicken the dead”

“All and some without fable both hard and soft and malleable”

“Know now well and right and thank you god of this sight”

“The bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame”

…

“Now it’s my turn I don’t think you’ve heard mine have you well then listen closely because this the only time I am saying this”

…

“The tree of life I cut down with a knife”

“In the garden of Eden, I lay bleeding”

“Slain by my brother Cain my life would never be the same”

“Adam and Eve for their lost son they grieve"

…

“Short sweet to the point now we fight”

This was about to go down and it was going to go down hard, harder than anything that’s ever been and it was going to be amazing.

Instead of going straight for a strong attack like I have before I decided that it would be best if I started off with some unnamed magic and save the best to last.

I guessed we were taking it in turns well that’s what Louthist’s vibe told me when he took a step back in a way that’s good I have never been very good at team work so with the fight now under way and a defeat being basically inevitable I started it off with some of my bloodthirsty crows that I summoned from two portals that I placed on the floor.

“Go, my brothers and sisters, FEAST on the flesh of the first of the dead, now serpent I do believe it is your turn…enjoy yourself”

It was a couple of seconds before I was answered I could see that Tenatan’s gaze was locked onto my demon birds and then he shook his head and turned to face me.

“But of course, ok little ones it’s time to party, why don’t you go and sink your teeth into something”

Loads of snakes of different colours and varying toxicity came flooding out of his oversized sleeves and trailed along the ground in what seemed to be perfect harmony with my birds overhead now I didn’t know what I was expecting from Abel I did not know what he could do what that disgusting sword could do and I was making myself nervous with every second I thought about it.

I saw Abel’s face and he looked as calm as calm can be and he had every right to be calm when he brought up the sword and systematically sliced away at the incoming birds and snakes leaving slowly evaporating corpses on the ground that hummed with a lifeless energy, now I did not feel angry for losing the birds since they were the duplicates of the original corpses.

“I will not stand here and allow you to chop up my nieces and nephews with the weasels blade I am not going to kill you oh no that is reserved for my brother and sister, AZOT AND KIBRICK FORSOOTH JOIN ME NOW AND AID THE BIRD OF HERMES IN THIS FIGHT LEST THE BLOOD OF INOCENNCE BE SPILT HERE TODAY”

I couldn’t help but smile from what I heard Louthist say and I was rather happy to see his younger siblings burst up through the sand and have them both come and be by my side Azot was the first to approach she had a jade and crimson frill going the full length of her back and then splaying into an intricate pattern that seemed to go on forever I looked down at her and then stroked her head that was accompanied by a welcome hiss, I was then greeted with Kibrick Forsooth Azot’s more brutish brother who had one fang that was far longer than the other and it looked like it dripped death, Kibrick’s frills were dull and simple but well-worn and have seen much violence over the many years, I greeted Kibrick the same way I have done the many times before, I stuck out my fist and Kibrick bumped it with his tail.

I couldn’t help but notice that Abel was staying quiet and unrushed as he allowed me to greet my friends who I have not seen in a very long time.

“Hey, guys you probably already know why you’re here don’t you…”

“The blade of fear and evil that seeksss to purge the known universe of good and every scrap of posssitive energy”

“My dear sissster Azot much truth you ssspeak but I am afraid the sssword is not the only concern we face”

“My and I brother will help you in this fight bird but it hasss been a long time sssince we fought we might be a bit russsty”

“Don’t worry, I and your brother are here to help as well and if you do get banged up I have still yet to use my élan egg so don’t worry about that I will keep you in working condition”

“Oh how lovely a reunion how precious and it seems I have two more guests to kill don’t I oh how time fly’s…”

I’m guessing Abel did have more to say but he was interrupted by a huge beam of plasma and the cry of an eagle as my eagles scream sent him flying.

Meanwhile at the Carmichael residents…

“I wonder where Harry is I even blew on his tea for him any other time he would have rushed into the kitchen to drink it after that but he didn’t and he is not on the roof either this very disconcerting but in any case I’m sure whatever he is doing is perfectly safe and won’t lead to anyone being mutilated in extremely horrible ways”

 

Back at the Gobi desert…

 

“I’m going to mutilate you in horrible ways Abel and I will let you think of all the ways I could go about that and I am positive that no matter what twisted sick things you think in your mind that will be nothing compared to what I will really do to you…”

I was beginning to lose myself in my own madness that so far I had been able to keep under wraps but this prolonged fighting is making it more difficult to keep my head in the reality that I am accustomed to I was really going to lose it until I felt Louthist hand on my shoulder and saw Azot and Kibrick looking at me in mild concern.

“Don’t worry Bird we will get this fight over with as quickly as possible and then we can go and get a cup of tea because I still need to have that meeting with Ms Carmichael”

Before I could answer the serpent I noticed that Azot was missing and I contemplated where she could have gone my contemplation ended when I saw her body land at my feet twitching coiling in and out like she was in great pain and seeing this snapped something inside of me something that could not be fixed by a simple hand on the shoulder it was something that I had to deal with myself and there was only one way I could think of doing that and I did not want it to come down to this but one of my oldest friends has just been cut with the weasels blade this was an unforgivable act that can only be repaid with an even more unforgivable act.

“You have crossed the line, this time, Abel nothing you can do will make me stop what I am about to do to you and I am very sorry but it’s about time to let the kingdom fall”

“What you’re insane I know I have this sword but you are taking it too far now bird of Hermes if you use the fallen kingdom on me you will also become a traitor to everything that exists and everything that has ever existed”

I could not think rationally I knew what he was saying was true I knew I would be no better than him if I did this but he hurt my friend with the weasel’s blade and there is no forgiving that is there…no there’s not but there is way to stop me from going over the edge and I am going to hate myself for this but all I need is for Louthist to make me jump because despite what I said about not wanting to stop there is only one alternative and that is for me to enter stage two of my saint Gallen’s final say I have a long history with Kibrick I just hope he catches on before I do something I will regret and yes even someone who is a mere creation of a god's machinations can feel regret.

“Brother I can sense what the bird isss planning he doesss not want to ussse the falling kingdom you have to make him jump give him a quick burssst of a fright you have to do it now before he usesss the fallen kingdom while he isss vulnerable”

“Scare him but if he wants me to do that then that means he is going to use…oh my god that’s brilliant and it just might work thank you for letting me know but right now Kibrick all I need you to do is wrap yourself around Azot’s wound to stop the bleeding “

“Yesss right away…”

In a way, I could sense a body closing in on me but I was too preoccupied with my own internal battle to really know what was going on.

“Serpent what are doing why are you sneaking up on the bird like that what are you planning”

“Abel I’m about to do the worst possible thing I have ever done…tell me do you know or have you ever heard of Saint Gallen’s final say”

“WHAT, I KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS SERPENT…DON’T DO THIS”

No more was said after that little conversation and the only thing I remembered was blacking out and waking up back at Alice’s house.

“Saint Gallen’s final say set in motion beginning execution protocol air to ground obliteration”

I began hovering as is the norm for my self-defence mode from what Louthist said my time in Saint Gallen’s final say was well spent.

The first thing that happened was Abel began to blast a load of the weasel’s energy at me but due to his carelessness and nervousness he missed every shot.

He started to walk back when he realised that staying here was far too dangerous  but then I summoned about ten eagles scream’s and about five of them hit him he was getting himself off the ground just so he stood even a slight chance.

I was still zipping across the sand and then my wings shot from my back and I had used perish gale well that was the only thing I could think it could be because my wings started to flap and an eerie black smoke was launched from my wings and this caused Abel to run away by means of using the weasels blade to cut a hole in reality and disappear into the aether.

When I woke up I was in the living room of the living room of the Carmichael residents.

“Hello Harry how have you been by the looks of it, you have had a rather exciting morning”

“Oh master hello I’m sorry for not being here to make your tea for you but I have had quite an exhausting day you know trying to save the human race from extinction”

“So nothing new then but never mind that for now here’s you tea and I have blown on it for you too so drink up”

I could feel my face flush with embarrassment because Louthist was sitting right next to me but he remembered the OPBC which stands for Over Powered Bro Code of not making a fellow overpowered bro embarrassed and I almost forgot something.

“Oh shit how’s Azot I completely forgot is she still hurt I need to find out”

My mind was racing a nautical mile a minute how could I forget something so important to me but my mind was settled when I heard a hiss and only then I looked down to see the large snake body of Azot resting her head on my lap and she looked completely fine not a scratch on her.

“Thank you for your concern bird but I am absssolutely fine during your time in your sssaint gallensss final sssay you sssummoned a élan egg and that was able to heal all my woundsss”

“I did that when I was still out of it…well in any case, I’m just glad you’re safe I can’t wait for my next meeting with Abel”

Everyone had gone quiet like they knew something I didn’t, except for Alice who was bringing in slices of batten burg cake for us this silence began to unsettle me a little bit.

“What did Abel do…?”

Louthist was the first to speak up it did not help matters that he was sweating profusely I wonder what could have happened to shake him up like that.

“Um yes I was going to get to that but I guess now is as good a time if any I suppose, well bird can you promise me that you won’t be angry”

“I can only promise to try”

Azot slithered off my lap and went behind the couch with Kibrick only showing their heads slightly popping up over the back of the couch.

“Well without beating around the bush Abel said that he was going to get a jaw bone…”

I put my hand up to signal him to stop and my other hand pinched the upper bridge of my nose.

“Let me guess that idiot has gone to fetch Cain’s jawbone the weapon that Abel was killed by I don’t know what he is thinking…”

“Um no not Cain’s jawbone I believe this jawbone belonged to someone named Samson apparently this guy killed one thousand men with it”

“Oh well, in that case, it’s good to know we are now completely fucked could I please get another tea I seem to be quite parched”

“I made another two cups when I was preparing the Victoria sponge, this chat seemed like the kind of chat where two cups of tea would be required”

“Thank you my master”

I had downed the tea with one swift gulp and I told myself I would worry about the implications of downing a cup of boiling water later but at the moment, I needed to get some fresh air.

“Alice I am going to go outside I will let you and Louthist talk if you need me just say”

“Don’t worry about a thing I have a lot to discuss with your master anyway so go take a load off”

I began to walk to the front door only to be followed by Azot and Kibrick I guess they want to talk to me, I found myself under the gazebo the brother and sister were asleep on the table apparently they did not want to chat but probably to keep me company and I couldn’t think of anything to say apart from one thing.

“Where do we begin the rubble or our sins?”

3: Chapter 3 Never Alone

 

Some saw me as a beacon in the dark a ray of hope and other’s thought of me as a devil a demon to bring nothing but pain and misery to all but I am none of those things my express purpose for being here I no longer know what it is, well to tell you the truth I don’t think Hermes even told me but now as I sit in the back garden of the Carmichael residents I am starting to understand why the god who created me was jealous of me for I was far superior to him in lots of ways stronger faster whenever I had to follow him he always made me stay behind him a little bit probably because he did not want to be outdone by his own creation.

Eventually, he exiled me to my current home but I knew none of this before I went to the temple of the last stand this knowledge started to slowly chisel its way into my mind when I first met Alice Denver Emanuel Carmichael and bigger blocks of this long lost memory came back to me when I first met the Serpent of Arabia and now with meeting Abel and the Weasels blade I think I have nearly remembered everything.

It’s pretty safe to say that Louthist has regained all his lost memory too I may have friends and someone to call my master now but I have never really felt alone all those hundreds of years ago I knew there was someone keeping me safe watching over me a guardian angel if you will but even I sometimes think why do I need a guardian angel I am already protecting someone myself this is like giving the bodyguard a bodyguard and who could possibly be strong enough to keep me safe in truth I know exactly who is protecting me it’s just that answer is so unbelievable I can’t help but think it’s a lie.

When I roused from my slumber I found that the serpent, as well as Kibrick and Azot, had left some time ago just as well I think because what happened next would have been a pain in the arse to explain.

I was just walking to the front door of the house when I heard a noise to right side of me it was a mixture of a screeching and a rumbling with a little hum to it that sounded nothing like I have ever heard before my first thought was that it was Abel cutting his way through space and time to fight me one on one but the person who stepped through was not Abel not even close a burgundy cloak with gold trim stepped through the portal in its right hand it held a dagger one that seemed oddly familiar yet I was unable to put my finger on it and not only that but I also felt this fear from the hooded figure I was about to attack but was stopped in my tracks when the hood was pulled down revealing a twenty-something blonde lady who had a strangely caring smile on her face.

“Excuse me but do I know you it’s not very often I get visitors especially in this manner”

“Give Shadow song to Alice…this is all goodbye, my dear friend”

The portal, closed up again after she stepped through it leaving me with the knife I have witnessed far crazier things than that so I just took it in my stride.

I joined Alice in the living room where she watching a live parliament debate.

“Ah Harry you seem a lot calmer than you were earlier I’m sure that little shut eye did wonders for you didn’t it, you seem to have an air of urgency about you”

“Yes master I am feeling much better now thank you for asking…I was giving this blade here the owner told me it’s called shadow song and said I need to give it you with all the mental shit that’s been going on lately I did not even bother to ask any questions”

I handed the dagger to my master and the moment she grabbed it a golden aura surrounded her body.

“Um Harry is this supposed to happen I do believe that this is no ordinary dagger”

The golden aura started pulsing in an out trying to form something around my master I felt the hairs on my arm stand up when the golden aura transformed itself in to a burgundy cloak with gold trim and then suddenly realisation struck me like a tomahawk cruise missile to the face.

“This is a very nice cloak and dagger…do you by any chance know who gave you this knife”

There was no doubt in my mind that the lady who stepped through the portal a couple of minutes ago was my protector my guardian angel the one who keeps me safe from the monsters and demons that not even I can fight and hope to succeed against…

“Yes master I now know exactly who gave me shadow song it was…you my master a slightly older you”

“I believe every single thing you are telling me but I would also like some more detail so could you explain what is going on with the weasel’s blade and a future me giving you this knife I am very interested”

“Well let’s see shadow song the knife you are holding is an instant kill against anything and I do mean anything and future Alice used shadow song to protect me during battles I could not win because believe it or not there are many things in the universe that not even I can defeat and from what I have been remembering you would arrive to assist me when I was in trouble, I am your guardian in this universe and you were mine in the other the same universe that giant black bird version of me came from during my first fight with the serpent”

“Ok that makes a lot more sense but where did shadow song come from surely it just didn’t materialise out of thin air”

“Your right master it did not spring to life from the depths of nothingness shadow song is, in fact, the sister to the weasel’s blade where one is the personification of evil and everything that’s wrong with…well everything, shadow song is the complete opposite its instant killing power comes from all the kindness and joy throughout the world soaking up all of the happiness and re-releasing it every time it’s blade pierced flesh just like the hell blade shadow song had a pre-chosen wielder and that wielder is you, how do I know this well if you look at the handle you can quite Clearly see your skin is touching the dagger had you not been the chosen user of shadow song you would not have the cloak and you would not have a hand either”

“So right at this very moment you are currently my protector and guardian and in the future I become your protector and guardian now this all seems rather riveting and I think a cup of tea would be a superb way to end this discussion but them again having a weapon like this really makes me think that there is some sort of catch”

I was just heading into the kitchen to switch the kettle on when I realised I had a completely forgotten about that and so as the kettle was boiling I turned around and told Alice.

“Oh yes how could I forget I do apologise, master, yes well shadow song will and can kill anything and I do mean anything but it will only kill anything if it is used in defense of another person and not in self-defence if shadow song is used in self-defence it couldn’t even dent the wing of a butterfly…”

Alice and I had returned to the living room to drink our freshly made brew it had been such a long time where I really felt that I had been thrown into the deep end with an anchor tied to my waist normally I could think of many different solutions to a problem but now I was hard-pressed to think of even one but if there is a will there is a way I knew what it has come down to what needs to be done and I am going to need the help of everybody and hopefully one more if I can persuade them to join

Meanwhile in Washington D.C…

 

“Half a pound of corpses

Half a pound of body bags

That’s the way genocide go’s

Slice goes the weasel”

 

Bodies lay strewn in the streets mass amounts of blood covered the sidewalks and detached vital organs rest on the tops of cars which themselves are burning a putrid energy flows through the air an energy that has never been felt before and one man stands alone amongst the dead and dying for he is the first of the dead himself Abel the youngest of two brothers  parented by Adam and Eve  and the one to lose his life to his own flesh and blood Cain the older brother what was the reason for this sibling murder well that in its self is a mystery.

“I think it is very thoughtful of me to leave a trail of destruction in my wake it will help the bird find me quicker but I am sure he will bring company I am guessing three snakes and knowing the severity of the damage I have caused already his little guardian angel might make an appearance but who am I kidding that’s just a myth a tale as old as time every powerful being knows of this myth including all of the gods but that’s all it is a myth and it will be nothing more than a story you tell to the new guy in the field of battle to unnerve him before the real action starts”

“Next on my list of places to visit…the white house I have already taken the time to watch two films of the white house being destroyed and that has inspired me to give it a go myself”

Meanwhile at the temple of the last stand…

 

I was standing outside the front entrance of the temple it has been a while since I was last here I noticed that when I sat down next to the water cooler the second time in four years the person who I came here to see was in the same get up from the last time I saw her and still deep in her secretarial work and once again I was the only one here something clicked in my head so I went to have another quick look at her, it took me a little bit but I noticed but the secretary had literally no signs of aging what so ever four years isn’t exactly super long but there must have been some signs that she had gotten older unless that was another trait of her power

She hasn’t seemed to notice me so I guess I should take the lead.

“Excuse me can I just um talk for a minute please”

She held up her finger and finished up whatever she was doing on the computer and then looked up with a familiar smile.

“Oh hello again…Harry isn’t it, it’s been a long time how is your new life”

“I am quite content to thank you for asking this may seem a bit forward but I would like to ask something of you if that is alright”

She got up and walks over to the waiting room and we both sat down to talk.

“I am in need of your help the lives of everyone on this planet are at risk if you lend me a hand I would be most grateful”

“Ok I accept to help you I already know what you need help with it’s kind of been all over the news and such and I have grown quite fond of these humans…ah, I should probably explain what I mean by humans…”

I just nodded while scratching my head “Um yes please”

“Well I am actually a cat my normal cat form has been replaced by this human body with the only exceptions being my ears and tail”

This surprised me in two ways the first way is that I swear to god this was referencing something I just could not point it out and the fact that she is also completely animal despite the human appearance.

“Could you please explain to me in as much detail as you can the extent and the nature of your power just so I have an idea of what you’re capable of if you don’t mind that is”

I took the short gap in silence to reach over to the water cooler and fill up two cups passing one to the cat girl who nodded in thanks.

“Well I think the best way for me to explain is that I was once part of an experiment you may have heard of it was called Schrodinger’s cat, is the cat dead is the cat alive is the cat in the box is the cat outside of the box well in truth I was dead I was alive I was inside the box and I was outside the box it turns out this experiment came with changes it didn’t have anything to do with the poison that was put in the box from what I can guess and what seems to me to be the most logical outcome is that the entire notion of the Schrodinger’s cat experiment and the quantum theory behind it manifested itself has some sort of energy.

“yes that would make sense and since you were a part of the experiment yourself you became one with this quantum energy…this quite fantastic I got my powers from the Greek god mercury and you got your powers from science so far I have only been around other people who have attributed powers from religion and old artefacts”

I’m going to need a brew after this.

“Oh yes I almost forgot my powers well I have omnipresence that means I am everywhere and I am nowhere so for me to travel I don’t need to teleport I just manifest my physical body in another desired location it’s kind alike walking from A to Z but I just skip all letters in-between and I have become something of a paradox if I get killed the quantum mechanics that reside within me will accept that I am dead but also at the same time will accept that I am alive and the two will cancel each other out, I do have some exciting powers but you’re going to have to wait to see them…well I guess I can let you in on my best one which is where I transform into what I like to call the -Quantum cat- this is where my quantum powers will overload and I will turn into a giant radioactive and poison spewing space cat…how does that sound bird of Hermes”

“Well I can safely say I feel far more confident in protecting humanity but even if we manage to win this fight I can’t say for sure we will be safe”

“Either way bird I’m more than happy to help in this fight so whenever you are in trouble I will be right there to help you and if you’re wondering I do in fact have a rite to say as well as you and the serpent of Arabia and you will hear it when the time comes”

And with that her body turned I  to a silhouette and bunch of random numbers letters and other random symbols ran down her shadowed body in all fashions of colour and she slowly faded away into the abyss and I took this cue to leave and return home to let my master know of the good news.  

4: Chapter 4 -Part 1- The bird of a jealous god The snake of a fabled legend The cat of a un-reality

 

When I had eventually arrived home from the temple of the last stand I noticed that Alice was sleeping on the sofa so I decided to make both of us a cup of tea and I threw in a slice of Battenberg cake as an addendum for which was appreciated by Alice to a modest extent.

“Master I have some good news I have managed to add someone else to the ranks to deal with Abel”

“Oh you have that is most pleasing what type of help did you get”

Before I answered I thought to myself which was the best way to explain but I couldn’t think of anything so I just said it how it was.

“Ah yes master well she is a paradoxical immortal omnipresent quantum powered cat girl”

“In other words…”

“She’s a secretary”

Alice looked content in the knowledge that not everything was going to go to shit just yet because there was still hope all be it this hope was in the form of a servant bird a freemason snake and secretary cat clearly a team to be feared.

“Is this cat girl strong enough to be useful?”

“Yes master in fact I hate to say this but I think that she is far stronger than I and Louthist combined and from what I noticed upon my meeting with her was that she seems to want to stop Abel as much as the rest of us do so it’s fair to say she will be loyal to the cause.

“Oh Harry before I forget Louthist stopped by not long after you left and told me to tell you the president of the united states is in a bit of a pickle”

And I just know who is the cause of this who else could it be I never tire of a good fight.

“Alright master I do apologise but I am afraid I will have to leave again I will be back before it gets dark don’t worry”

Alice just smirked and carried on drinking her tea.

“Oh I’m not worried since you said it if you’re not back in time for the whole of tomorrow I will not blow in your tea”

This hit me hard harder than anything I had come across so far my master is still so young but at times she can be monstrous when she wants to be and this is one of the many reasons I am scared shitless of my master hearing this caused me to fall down to one knee I clutched on to my shirt where my heart would be and shed a single tear for what could happen.

“Congratulations m-master you have finally managed to bring the bird of Hermes to his knees you truly are worthy of being my master I will serve you till my dying breath I am your friend, I am your servant, I am your army”

Alice looks down into her cup with contemplating eyes.

“No wonder you're scared of me I’m just as much of a monster as you…I’m sorry for threatening you with that can I ask for your forgiveness”

I look up from kneeling position and look at my master who is steadily drinking her tea.

Master, I will always completely and truly absolutely forgive you no matter what, all of the time every time”

Before Alice could say anything I exploded into my murder of crows and flew off to my next destination I was just above the Atlantic Ocean when I realised a crisis this severe might require a little extra help so I sent one of my birds off to deliver a message.

I hope Louthist has not started without me…

At the white house…

Amidst the rubble debris and body’s there were two figures battling it out with everything they had back and fourth magic flew through the air…

“Tri synched gorgon cannon…you will die today”

Louthist held up his arm and three snakes one of gold one of silver and one of bronze wrapped themselves around his arm mouths wide open three pulsating orbs shot from the cannon and made their way towards Abel at high speed one of the orbs made contact and caused an implosion the other two were destroyed by the weasels blade and fizzled out before they could implode.

“Ok fine let’s see how you deal with this…SNAKE EYES”

Abel was ready for anything but he started to realise that nothing was happening and it wasn’t until he looked up and saw two red reptilian eyes floating above his head no amount of slashing with the hate blade could get rid of them.

“What is this trickery Serpent what have you done to me”

“I almost forgot you don’t know my entire set of powers well it may interest you to know that those eyes have locked you down so the next attack or weapon that gets used will hit you no matter what happens and there is nothing you can do about it no amount of swinging your sword will help you”

I was close enough to see the snake eyes Louthist set on Abel and I took this cue to launch and eagles scream sure enough the giant plasma beam it its target square on I landed next to Louthist in time to see Abel stand back up.

“Hey snake are you doing alright”

“Ha, yeah I’m fine nice timing by the way”

“Cheers oh and how are Azot and Kibrick Forsooth doing”

“Well at the moment they are training themselves up for what most likely is going to be our final fight”

“I have managed to get an extra pair of hands to help out with this fight as well…she should be here any minute”

“Oh what type of plane walker is she”

“Well the words I used to describe her to Alice was she is a paradoxical immortal omnipresent quantum powered cat girl”

“I’m sorry I asked…wait, what do you mean by a cat? “

And just if on cue the familiar silhouette of random number and symbols appeared with cat ears and tail and for some reason, she was still in her work attire.

“Hello gentlemen meow do you do”

“Ah Chloe it’s good to see you again we are in need of some help”

“I haven’t really used my powers for fighting before but I will do my best”

“That is all we ask Miss Chloe…my name is Tenatan Louthist you may refer to me as the serpent of Arabia”

The dust finally settled and Abel was holding his left arm as if it had been badly damaged it seems the scream did a bit of damage to him.

The fight was only just beginning.

5: Chapter 4-Part 2- The bird of a jelous god the snakle of a fabled legend the cat of a un-reality

 

Abel not knowing who he was dealing with made sure to ask.

“Who the fuck is you anyway

“How rude are you well since I will be helping these fine gentlemen destroy you I might as well explain with my rite”

 

~Dead or alive

A role I must reprise

Everywhere and nowhere

That’s just unfair

Open the box look and see

And you might just find me~

 

 

“You pollute my air with your powers of science I will cut you down where you stand heathen”

“You boys just sit back watch for a little bit I might not have much experience but I get feisty when I’m pumped”

“Let’s go NEWTONS FLAMING LASER SWORD… En garde”

I saw the most extraordinary thing a sword that consisted of an electrical blade which was also on fire the flames vortexes around it I was viewing all this from a bench I had gotten two Mr whippy’s for us because it felt that sort of day.

“I hope you keep up with me”

“Try me cat”

Chloe went for her first swing and just as the two blades collided she vanished and appeared behind Abel to go for swing two but was pushed away when the hilt of the weasel’s blade hit her stomach and this gave her a chance to distance herself a few feet from her attacker and decided close quarters combat wasn’t going to get her anywhere anytime soon so ranged battle was the next best thing and there is no better way to start one…

“Okay, so that failed…time for a do-over… take this COLLAPSE THE WAVE FUNCTION”

A black cardboard box appeared at Abel’s feet this box had the same green random numbers letters and other symbols scrolling up and down its sides and after a few seconds, it starts to shake.

“What’s going on…I DEMAND ANSWERS, WHAT IS GOING ON?”

“Oh you will don’t you worry”

As the box was shaking the number three appeared above the box in calculator font and started to count down one, once the countdown finished the box stopped shaking and then a monotone voice started to speak.  

“Schrodinger’s cat alive or dead, it’s time to find out so watch your head”

After the speech the sound of shuffling could be heard and that was followed by the lid opening and a green cat emerged and propped itself up on the side of the box and similar to the box the cat had scrolling black text of the same symbols the cat meowed a couple of times then started to hiss at Abel and then the monotone voice appeared again.

“Schrodinger’s cat is alive the wave function has collapsed now get ready for a quantum relapse”

As that was said the cat shone white and started to pulsate before going boom the explosion wasn’t big but boy was it loud but the best bit of the whole experience was the” oh fuck” facial expression Abel had on as he went flying in through the McDonalds window and into the adjacent wall landing with a crunch and then a resounding flop as his body hit the floor it took him a while but he managed to get by using the weasels blade as a walking stick.

“Y-y-you think you bested me huh you think you got one over on poor old Abel you think you won well you haven’t you may have defeated me but you have not won don’t you dare think for a fucking second that you have won I have already slaughtered ten thousand Americans including the president you got here to late…”

“I’ve had enough of this nonsense… how about you snake and cat”

“I too am finding it hard to stomach any more of this let us end it here”

“Let’s show him the true meaning of a meowch”

We all stood next to each other Louthist took the intuitive and planted another snake eyes on Abel.

“Eagles scream ready and waiting…Tri synced gorgon cannon on standby…Particle death-collider online”

“Three…two…one…GO!”

The snake eyes glowed and locked Abel down for all three attacks the best way to describe Chloe’s death-collider was basically a gauntlet with the same number pattern only, this time, it was black and white the gauntlet itself closely resembled that of a mini hadron collider that was turned into a weapon and went the full length of her arm.

The first to hit was the eagles scream which slammed him further into the wall and before he could even fall back down the three orbs from the gorgon cannon flew underneath him and detonated at the same time sending Abel back first into the ceiling and the death particle Chloe fired went straight through his head and the rest of him before turning into small black hole sucking him in then imploding in on itself leaving no trace but this was not over not by a long shot we still had the sword to deal with once the current owner is destroyed or unable to carry the weapon then it uses its final gambit.

 

“Louthist… Chloe, it’s not over yet we have defeated Abel but we still need to defeat the sword”

Louthist understood what I was saying but Chloe looked confused which was an expectation of mine considering this is her first real fight and especially something of this magnitude but I was brought from my thoughts when this huge explosion came from the weasels blade and manifested itself as a shadow version of Abel a version that was literally comprised of pure hatred in its purest form.

“Umm Chloe you remember when you told me you could transform into a giant radioactive poisonous quantum cat”

“Yeah what of it”

Louthist and I just looked at each other then slowly turned our heads to look at the cat girl and in perfect unison.

“No time like the present!”

“Oh right my bad, sorry about that”

“Radiation level is stable, toxicity magnitude at max capacity, quantum energy at full power, time to cause a cat-tastrophy…pun intended”

A giant box of what I could only believe to made of pure science if that’s even a thing fell from the sky and landed on top of Chloe it wasn’t long until the box collapsed outwards and the sides breaking and drifting off into ether and what took Chloe’s place was a giant green semi-transparent cat which closely resembled a Siamese more than anything the only real difference was that the back legs were gone and instead was replaced by ghost-like tale, from its mouth nose and even ears every possible poison known to mankind was being poured out in the shape of a liquid like smoke that formed into a cheesy skull and crossbones when it hit the floor and the left eye of the cat had the hazardous material symbol instead of a pupil and not to mention the amount of radiation that this thing was excreting equals the fallout from six thousand five hundred tsar bombs if it wasn’t for the fact that Chloe could control the lethality of the radiation and who it is dangerous to there would be many people now running around with the incorrect number of limbs that would be difficult to explain to Alice, despite not being harmed by the radiation mine and Louthist wings were starting to take on a green glow I hope that washes off.

Louthist and I could look on in wonder and from the both of us a single tear was shed a tear that embodied the sheer power the sheer beauty and size of what we were seeing, we took one finger and wiped away the tear then the same hands that were responsible for the finger clasped one another on the shoulder.

“Well Serpent it has been a wonderful day”

“Yes bird yes it has…yes it has”

The cat let out a guttural purr before launching a mixed ball of quantum energy and radiation and poison at shadow Abel but that seemingly was not enough as they were cut in half by the weasel’s blade then something happened that would of scared me shitless if I was actually fully mortal the cat realised that this needed something with a bit more oomph so it started to cough up to what I thought would be a hair ball well in a way for this cat it probably was a hair ball but this hair ball took on the form of a fully metal atom bomb that harmlessly dropped on to the ground  it was then flung up into the air by the cats teeth gripping the tail end of it and before it could land a second time Chloe used her right paw to swat it away like some toy the atomic bullet hurtled through the air and landed on Abel, who give him his dues tried to stop the bomb but this one was just not having it the reason why none of shadow Abel’s attacks worked was because Chloe had put literally everything she had into that attack and this also caused Chloe to revert back to human-cat form just in time to see the mother of all explosions this simple atom bomb’s explosion kicked the Tsar bomb out of the park and the rather space like quantum energy that accompanied the atomic blast was outstanding I have never seen anything like it, unlike most explosions from weapons of war, not a single thing was hurt or remotely damaged save from shadow Abel who was now on one knee and who was also badly singed and even had a few chunks taken out of him.

“It’s no use Abel you have lost we have won”

“NO, NO YOU HAVEN'T NOT YET I WON'T LET YOU…”

While shadow Abel was talking to himself in his frenzied state I took this as the opportunity to up the end game I reached into my jumper pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

“Chloe I need you to take this it has my address on it I need you to go here and you will find a blonde girl named Alice just tell her you are with me and she will listen, tell her I need my guardian angel and come back here”

“Sure no problem…back in a jiffy”

And with that Chloe vanished, next stop the snakes.

“Louthist are Azot and Kibrick ready to help they are crucial to what I have planned and I also need you to set one more snake eyes on Abel and that’s it”

“Right bird Abel is locked down and I have already gotten in touch with brother and sister and they will be here very soon”

I looked around and saw Chloe on the floor taking a…cat nap now the final part.

Abel was enraged to a fine point it was clear to see he had to give the blade the rest of his power reserves this was made most obvious by the red glow it now had.

“Louthist no matter what happens from here on out don’t do anything ok don’t do a single damn thing”

“I understand bird of Hermes I will stand still as stone just as you once did”

The first of the dead wasted no time and teleported right in front of me knowing what was going to happen I put my hands behind my back.

“IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO DIE BIRD OF HERMES AND YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS”

Speaking of little friends Azot and Kibrick Foorsooth leapt out of the ground and bit onto Abel’s arms holding them down by his side.

“Hey guys nice timing you look better than ever”

“GET OFF ME YOU DISGUSTING CREATURES I WILL MASSACRE ALL OF YO-“

As he was speaking a familiar portal opened up and a blonde girl adorned in a burgundy cloak wielding Shadow song stepped through the portal and stabbed the hate demon in the back who went still and lifeless in an instant eyes clouded over and a body that is now bereft of life fell no final words of an apology for everything that transpired or one of those see you hell lines that you hear in the movies no,  the only sound that was made was the soft thud he made when he hit the ground after he had faded away leaving only the sword which simply crumbled into dust and flew with the wind.

Alice dropped Shadow song and pulled her hood down and walked towards a now kneeling servant.

“Master when I said you terrified me well you do I do not know why but you do no one else like me would be scared of you whenever I think you are going to be mad at me my heart rate increases dramatically and sometimes I feel like going into a corner crying my eyes out until you stop being mad at me…master…Alice Denver Emanuel Carmichael you scare me more than anything else could but you are also the best thing to ever happen to me and I will be honoured to remain your loyal servant and friend for the rest of my days.

“Well Harry do you remember what I said last time if you can’t get rid of your fear then give it a hug”

And that’s what I did I embraced Alice in a much-needed hug which she returned I rested my head in the crook of her neck and remained quiet for a little while.

“Harry why did you want to stop Abel was it to protect me or everybody else on the planet I want you to be honest”

I stood up with Alice departing from the hug and put my hands in my pockets and looked at the floor.

“Y-y-y-you master I did this whole thing just to keep you safe this was my true intention once it was revealed you were in danger no one else mattered no one I did all of this to keep you safe to keep you out of harm’s way if you got hurt I would not have been able to live with myself “

“Thank you, Harry, for keeping me safe and I will fulfill my role as the wielder of shadow song and your guardian angel also…now before we head back home I would like a little chat with Louthist and the cat girl who came to visit me”

“Yes master”

I nudge the sleeping cat girl with my foot and she begrudgingly wakes and stands up.

“My master would like to talk”

I left the three as they conversed and walked over to Azot and Kibrick who were idly chatting away as I approached them they stopped talking and I bumped fist and tail with Kibrick who then went and slid up a tree to do things that snakes do.

“Umm-h-h-hey A-Azot thanks for the assist uh…back there”

“No problem bird it wasss my pleasssure”

“Say I was thinking if you…I don’t know if you wanted to get a drink some time or maybe not”

“Bird are you asssking me out on a date”

My face instantly turned red I had meant to do this a long time ago but my nerves got the better of me I practically grew up with Azot and Kibrick they are extremely old friends and it was this reason why I was so nervous.

“Y-y-y-y-yes I am you know if you want to I know a coffee shop not far from where I live the drinks are shit the customer service is abysmal and the atmosphere is non-existent so would like to go out w-w-with me”

Azot reared back and lunged at me pecking me on the lips before slivering away and giving me her answer.

“I would love to”

I walk back to the rest of the group a happy bird.

“Let’s put the kettle on”