"So...what's your name, lovely?"

My mortal boy glances up from his handheld game console and looks pleasantly surprised to see me there.

"Who are you?"

I smile at him.

"Just another hunky god you met on your blog, lovely."

The dark-haired boy furrows his eyebrows in confusion and sets his console down for the first time all day.

"No offence my Lord, but I'm pretty sure I haven't met anyone new as of late," the strangely cute mortal boy apologizes.

I push my Olympus Premium (OP) tablet towards him, which he picks up in curiosity. The boy's face quickly turns pink as a picture of his rather adorable butt comes into view, completed with two if his slender fingers spreading his tight hole open, along with the message: 'Horny 4 sum1 to top me!11 call me for a gud time ;)'.

"...Wow..." the boy mutters weakly.

I beckon him to scroll down on the reblogs and replies.

The pretty boy turns pale so fast I'm a bit concerned if he might faint on me. Not that I would mind, of course.

"Oh gods..." he whimpers, taking a good, long look at one particular comment that - if discovered who the idiotic user was - would've likely been crucified at the stake, thrown into the depths of Tartarus, and given a century-long internet flaming session on how much of a disgusting rapist he was. Possibly not in that order.

"Love?"

The boy makes a weird noise that sounds like a mix between a moan and a groan.

I lean forward, watching his magnificent sky-blue eyes darken warily as I traced my fingers along his chin, giving the soft expanse of his skin a tender caress.

"Don't worry. I took care of him."

His eyes widen prettily in shock.

"You killed him?" he whispers hoarsely, shoulders stiffening.

I chuckle slightly at his innocence. Mortal boys were so cute sometimes. We gods stopped feeling bad about killing idiots about a few hundred centuries back. Heck, I just killed my step-bro Ares the other day after a rather nasty spat involving my dear sister Arty's 'very much divine virginity', and a few years later we were happily drinking together like old pub buddies.

"No lovely, I did nothing of that sort," I assured him. Well, not yet anyway...

The mortal breathed a sigh of relief.

"Though, wanking, having sex, and taking a piss might be a bit painful for him for the next few months."

To my miraculous surprise, my soon-to-be-consort-mortal-be-damned perked up, blue eyes lit with a spark of mischief. Dear Zeus, he looked so enticing...

"You're positively wicked, my Lord," the little brunette spoke cheekily.

You'll know exactly how wicked I am when I get you into my bed, lovely...

"So what did you do, my Lord? Kidnap me? I don't exactly remember anything besides playing my game for the past hour, but I'm pretty sure this isn't my bedroom," the boy blushes, and dear gods how I want to drag him into my sun chariot and give him the best fuck of his life. I'd probably have to send the damn thing to washing later though...

"If you haven't recalled, lovely, I sent you an ask for a date with me, and you accepted," I reply dryly, sitting back on my comfy armchair.

The boy pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tight in exasperation.

"I probably shouldn't have tried Lord Dionysus' Special Brew..."

I scoff. "You shouldn't be trying any of Dio's stuff at all, lovely. I'm pretty sure you're underage, even in mortal standards."

"I'm sixteen!" the cute brunette protests.

Oh. Not a boy. Sadly still underage though.

"I'm guessing your friends set you up for that?"

The mortal nods tentatively. "We were celebrating my sixteenth yesterday. I guess it got a little messy considering the situation I'm in right now."

He looks down in embarrassment, still keeping eye contact with me under those beautiful eyelashes of his. I think at one point I'm going to physically combust being in the same room with this gorgeous boy - I mean teen, considering I am the god of the sun after all.

"I'd call it a 'happy accident', lovely," I purr.

The blue-eyed teen's blush darkens.

"Why do you call me that?"

"What. Lovely?"

"Yes."

I raise my eyebrow at him innocently, "You didn't know?"

This time, the teen's body goes rigid, as if preparing for an incoming blow.

"Know...what?"

Truly a happy accident indeed. On my part, that is.

"By accepting a date from me, you've inadvertently signed a binding contract to be my consort."

And suddenly, there's an abrupt drop of air pressure from where he sat, and I swear, for the first time, I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

"C-Consort?"

"Yes. You are now my partner, husband, equal. And most importantly, my lover."

I await his response as he lays back down on the sofa, his big blue eyes blinking rapidly. He seems upset for a moment, until his entire faces flushes brilliantly from his neck to the tips of his ears.

"Y-You planned this the whole time, my Lord?"

I shake my head slowly as I made my way next to my consort. He doesn't back away or flinch when I press my hand against his thigh comfortingly, which means he's probably taking the news well...I think.

"In all honesty, I was pretty sloshed myself when I made that ask."

The brunette teen stares at me in disbelief.

"Gods can get drunk?"

I roll my eyes at him, "Love, anyone can get drunk if they take a sip of Dio's stuff. Like seriously, he's the god of wine for a reason, you know. Except maybe Hestia. She's pruder than a virgin, I tell you. Even good old step-mum Hera takes a few shots when Dad goes off on another fling with some lovelorn mortal girl."

To my surprise, the blue-eyed teen giggles.

"You're funny, my Lord."

Smiling wryly, I pick up the petite, slimmer teen and place him on my lap, eliciting a indignant squeak from him.

"I'm not a kid, you know..." the teen pouts.

"No, but you're just as adorable," I smirk as I lovingly caress his unbelievably feather-soft black hair. He sighs in defeat as his entire body relaxes to the soothing assaults on his head, a delighted moan escaping his lips.

"What did I do to deserve this?"

I pause my ministrations, instead wrapping my arms around my consort's small body, gently tucking his feet under him.

"I follow your blog," I said simply.

He glances up at me from his position, and my breath almost hitches at the close proximity of our faces. His lips were very much kissable, all pink and pert and just asking to be bitten and licked, eyes wide all-too innocently, dark hair delicately framing his face like a portrait.

He looked like sin.

"A god follows my blog?" he smiles shyly at the thought.

I smile back at him and press my nose onto the top of his head, taking in his scent. He smelled rather flowery for a boy, as if he'd spent most of his time gardening and picking flowers. An image flashed through my mind of a youthful, beautiful blue-eyed teen running across a flower field, carrying a bundle of hyacinths in his arms, eyes brimming with happiness and a smile even brighter than the sun (no pun intended).

"Your life is quite entertaining, you know," I murmur into his hair, not missing out the shiver of pleasure from my consort.

"I just post random stuff..." the teen mutters softly, "like what I do everyday and the stupid shit me and my friends get into. Didn't think anyone would be interested in that."

"Seeing the amount of shocking replies you got last night, my love, I think otherwise," I admonish in mock sternness, trying to hold back from laughing as my adorable consort groans loudly and hides his face in between his hands.

"Urrrggghhhh..."

"Want me to comfort you, lovely?"

"Yes please..."

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"Hot chocolate would be nice..."

"And I thought you weren't a kid, love?" I tease.

He half-heartedly nudges me in the stomach, giving me the most effing adorable pout in all my years as a god.

"You're mean for a god, you know."

I held my hands up in a surrendering fashion. "Look, I literally flame people on the internet on the living. Keeps order, you know."

My consort wrinkles his nose in confusion. "I thought that was Lord Hermes' job. Internet patrol, I mean. It's not that hard, is it?"

I ruffle the teen's hair fondly at that. "Love, that is one man who needs a break, should be getting a break, and by all rights is the only person I know who deserves a break from the amount of work he's swamped in. He makes sure internet traffic's running smoothly, getting the new iSend system in working order and is a little bit unhealthily obsessed with making sure no stock market accidentally causes another Great Depression. I think ol' Hermy himself was about to annihilate half of Germany when that happened."

"Germany caused another Great Depression? Since when?" my consort perks up in interest.

"I sometimes keep forgetting you weren't born for that love," I chuckle huskily into his reddened ear.

"O-Old man," he whimpers softly.

"Kiddo," I shot back, pressing my lips against his in a brief, soft kiss. Immediately I'm shot with a wave euphoria that fogs my head up so fast I lurch in surprise. There's a moment of panic when the taste of my consort leaves me way too fast for comfort.

"It's weird you know," my consort says dazedly, "we're talking as if we've known each other for ages and yet I don't even know your name."

"Apollo," I hiss, trapping the soft flesh of his shoulder in between my teeth, "I don't mind if you call me that, but I would prefer if you didn't drop the 'Lord' title just yet, lovely."

"I-I bet you like me calling you that, m-my Lord," the cheeky teen stutters between moans as I not-so gently push him into the soft mattress of my sofa, trapping his hands over his head I trail my free hand over the expanse of his exposed skin. I feel a lustful stirring inside me when my consort shivers and arches back beautifully into me.

"What about you, lovely? I haven't had the chance to know your name yet," I growl, fisting the back of my consort's hair possessively

My consort had the audacity to smirk at me for that question.

"Get me in your bed in the next five minutes and I'm sure you'd be able to figure that out. Right, my Lord?"

I grant him a predatory smirk of my own as I bend down to capture his lips again in a momentary, heated kiss.

"Agreed."