128… 140, no… 170? Wait, 100! Nah…

            It’s basically a producer problem. When you’re a 16 year-old soon-to-be worldwide sensation that aims to master EDM, it’s hard to pick what genre of EDM you want to do next.

            I was sitting on my desk chair in front of my producing gear and a bunch of instruments. The keyboard was right in front of me, the guitar, still in its case, was on my bed, and my laptop was… well, on my lap. The software I use is one of the best: multi-track recording, seamless MIDI sequencing software, and it’s headache-free.

            Crystal Lake was blasting through my speakers. Fortunately, my room’s soundproof, so I have little problem with the neighbors. Well, sometimes, but I don’t think that’s the problem.

            At times, I jail or, what some call, incarcerate myself in my room. I hardly leave the house, I don’t get much sunlight… yeah, and you get the point. My friends would call me outside to play some basketball, but many times I’ve turned them down. My skin was getting pale, my eye bags would sometimes be bigger. I may be only a teenager, but I experience insomnia, and anxiety would just purge through my body.

            One of the only times I go outside is when my boss, Mr. Larry, calls me to present my new piece for his recording label. Or maybe when I have to go to school, of course. The thing is that I spend 90% of my time indoors, excluding job and school necessities.

            I collapsed one time inside the house, and no one found out until one of my friends went in through the back door to prank me. Doc said that I’m putting in too much time and pressure on producing. Sleep deprivation and all that. If I keep it up, I’ll die making the next mainstream EDM anthem. And to some DJs, that doesn’t sound like a bad death.

            Though, my classmate and next door neighbor, Annie, has been looking me over since that happened. She’d visit the house to drop off some food or if she just wants to talk. I live alone and I can’t cook, so the not-so-cranky old man who lives right across me suggested her that she take care of me when she has free time.

            For the first time in a while, I actually respected the man’s decision. Annie cooks well, so that’s good enough for me.

            I was finished producing a complextro track and I was starved to the bone. I was heading downstairs to get some curry Annie cooked up last night, until my cellphone buzzed in my pocket. I took a look at the screen of the smartphone; it was Annie again. She likes to keep calling me and ask how I was doing or if she just wants to hang.

            “Yeah?” I said as I hit the “accept” button.

            “Hey, um, I just wanted to check up on you.” She said. See?

            “I’m fine. Honest.” I flopped onto the couch in the living room.

            We just talked about some stuff that happened in and out of school for so long that I forgot I was supposed to be getting some food in the kitchen. I guess Annie constant chatting is something I like to eat up. Well, I knew her for a while, if not very long, so I guess I gotten used to it.

            Yeah, we’ve been neighbors for around four or five years. For some, it seemed like a long time but I think otherwise. I remember helping out my parents with the stuff and when I was finally done helping out, Annie ran to me while I was down back-first on the front yard. She was always that happy girl that loves to friend the people around her. At first, I thought she was just another nosy and annoying neighbor like the old man, but as time passed, I was proven wrong.

            “So, what’re you up to?” She asked, almost giggling through the phone.

            “I don’t know, really. I just keep forgetting on what I should do when I talk to you, you know? It feel nice to talk to someone until you forget the world around you.”

            I heard a smirk from her. “Yeah, I kind of feel the same way around you.”

            “Heh. It’s pretty normal to feel that way around a cute guy you knew for a couple of years.”

            “Finn!’ She exclaimed. I was laughing my ass off as she started to pout, saying that I’m not really that cute. We started to “fake argue,” as I like to call it, and just kept laughing like there’s no tomorrow.

            Annie was one of the few people that made me feel more alive than me playing a set on a huge festival. The feeling she gave me was more than how a DJ feels when he performs live, or when he takes an up-close and personal interview. We have our differences; she likes All Time Low and other awesome bands, and I like Martin Garrix and a whole lot of DJs, yet we feel that we have a lot in common. I don’t know what that “a lot” is, but what the point of knowing, right? As long as we’re friends, that’s fine with me. This isn’t coincidental or anything, but it’s fine with Annie as well.

            “Oh, hey. My parents are coming home in a while, and I think you haven’t eaten lunch yet.” She said.

            “Yeah.” I heard my stomach roar like a lion after I replied. Crap, and it hurt, too. “I still have some of that food you gave me. I’ll just take that.”

            Annie sighed. “Sure. Bye.” She hung up after saying that.

            You know, things would go from amazing to a bit awkward once we ended our conversation whether it’s in person or online or even text-slash-call. Sometimes, I don’t know why, but I think it was what happened a year or two ago.

            We… we tried dating for once. It went well for the first few months; we were crazy and weird, funny and emotional at times. It was perfect. But, as expected, I tended too much on honing my craft as a producer that I forgot should also spend some time with Annie. I missed her birthday… twice, I forgot to meet her up at some places when it was date night, and a lot others. I’ve regretted each time I let her down, even though she said it was okay.

            Eventually, I knew we were starting to fall out of love, so I just ended it.

            “Look, Annie. I think… I think this can’t work out anymore…”

            Those words still rang in my head up to this day. It’s as if a ghost was making me feel guilty about this. Is this God’s way of telling me that I’ve screwed up? The things around me shatter into pieces into darkness until it’s just me and the… nightmare.

            I just try to forget about it by producing and daydreaming, but it all leads me back to there. I’m not sure if Annie does feel the same way every time we end a conversation; I admit that she’s better at putting things behind her than me.

            I sighed and got the curry from the fridge and microwaved it. Once the lights inside the machine were on, I took a look at the magazine at the counter behind me. Right, it was my first magazine issue as a DJ. I wasn’t in the cover, but they had a featured article about me.

            That was when I first starting producing at around thirteen. I knew that this path was right for me and that I was paving and carving something in my life; something I don’t normally do before. After all the troubles I’ve been through, I’m still here; producing and performing my best in the studio and in concerts.

            And hopefully, Annie would be there… to support my dream.

2: Chapter 2

“Man, you look worse than an addict.”

            My best friend, Kai Marsh, noticed as I slumped down on my seat after I went to take a number one. He had his chair inverted, facing my table, as he took little bites from his KFC chicken sandwich.

            It was recess time in our school, Winterfield Academy. The clear East Coast skies were at the most beautiful shade of blue and the mild breeze blew through the open windows of our classrooms. There were a few people in that classroom including Kai and I. Mr. Jay, our English teacher, was working on something in the computer, and some other guys and gals in the classroom were busy eating or busy chatting; either way, it really doesn’t matter much to me.

            “Didn’t think you’d realize.” I told Kai as I let out a huge sigh.

            “You wear your exhaustion like it’s your skin, Finn.” He gobbled down the last of his sandwich and tossed the foil into a nearby trash can.

            Kai looked more… well, brighter, in a sense. He was more of the moody and loner type of guy when I first knew him in this school, but he learned to open up to others once I got closer to him as friends. He still has that introverted attitude when invited to parties, but hey, it’s pretty normal.

            He was sort of there for me when Annie and I had that falling out, and I really appreciated him for that. I had no siblings whatsoever, so Kai and a few others were the closest I had to brothers and sisters. And we’re a close family; we look out after our own.

            “Is this about Annie, F?” He asked. “It’s been, what, a year or two now, dude. Isn’t it about time to get over it?”

            I laid back and stared at the ceiling. “Maybe.”

            “That’s never the answer.”

            “What do you know, genius?”

            “Take Gianna for example.”

            I groaned. “Here we go again…”

            He told the tale of Gianna and him for, like, the millionth time. She was Kai’s girlfriend during our budding friendship. I never got a chance to see what she was like; Kai would just keep telling HOW she was like to him, and sometimes, they seem rather hard to believe.

            To put his hour-long tale short, Kai wasn’t spending much time with her, and she ended up cheating on him with some older guy. And despite Kai being the broody dude I once knew, he just brushed it off like dirt on his shoulders (Jay-Z reference, I know). At first, I didn’t know why did he just let it slide off like that, but his answer surprised me.

            It was my fault. And there’s nothing else to do but accept that.

            That was his response and that really changed my way at looking at relationships. I knew that it would be YOUR fault for the fall out and nobody else’s. As harsh and lethal-to-the-heart it sounds, it’s true.

            “Fine, fine. I just got over it…. again.” I faked a grin and flashed a peace sign at Kai. It may be that fake, but I’m glad he’s still helping me out with the crap I’m going through.

            “Keep feeling that way.” He encouraged, winking at me. “Just remember, you’re still friends with Annie, right? Don’t be such a greedy old turd.”

            “Man, screw you.” I flipped the bird on him as both of us laughed like fools. Though, he was right. Annie is still friends with me, and that’s what matters, right? I rolled the sleeves of my school blazer up to my elbows and loosened up my tie.

            “Learning from the best, huh?” I joked as Kai walked back to his seat.

            “Sure, sure.” He returned the favor with a bird to the face.

            The bell rung, and Sir Jay started writing some stuff about Shakespeare and the Renaissance. Ugh, guess I’m in for another long ride.

            -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Sun was finally setting, and I was on the last train home. The train was empty aside from a few men in suits and also some students from Winterfield. I was leaning beside the door even if the seats were empty. I really didn’t like sitting down on the seats, really. Force of habit, I guess.

            I took this train ever since I got in Winterfield. Around those times, I’d be riding with Annie, but now she takes the bus; says it’s quicker or something like that. Well, honestly, she’d be missing out on this view. I don’t know what was more beautiful; the clear skies of mid-afternoon at school, or this tequila-colored sunset I keep seeing on my way home.

            Thomas Gold was playing on my blue Beats headphones as I gazed at the sunset outside the train. My blazer sat on my waist and my unbuttoned polo revealed a silver dog tag. I grabbed the dog tag with my free hand and read the name on it.

            “Kenneth A. Becker.”

            “Dad…” I whispered as I clenched my fist with the dog tag in it. He died in the one of those campaigns down in Iraq two years ago. I still remember when one of his friends knocked on my door and handed me his uniform and dog tag. Annie, Kai and a few others were there for his funeral. Mom… she wasn’t there. She was out there, making out with some guy with tons of cash but zero pounds of honor.

            I finally reached the last stop of the train’s route a couple of minutes later. It would only take me around five or so minutes from the station to my village, so it really isn’t my problem

            Annie saw me enter the front gate of my house and sort of stopped me there. Knowing her, she noticed the sad expression on my face. I turned away, but she walked through the gate grasped my hand before I could walk away.

            “You don’t look too happy.” She said.

            “Never thought you were that smart, Ann.” I smirked, but she didn’t take it so kindly.

            “I’m serious, Finn.”

            “Can’t you just let me go?” I tried to force my hand away from her but she was being resistant as she always was.

            “I’m sorry, Finn. I can’t.”

            I pulled her closer to me and her hands rested on my shoulders. I placed my hands around her waist and gazed into her eyes with a cold stare. She was unresponsive, but I expected that from someone who knew me quite well. My heart was beating each second she was in my arms.

            Thump… thump…

            Flashbacks of us started to cloud my mind, even the one when I held her like this for the first time ever. Three years ago, she was crying at her backyard. I climbed over the back fence and… well, took her hand. The rest is sort of a blur and all I can remember was me embracing her like this, trying my best to comfort her.

            The last time I held her in such a romantic hug was when we broke up years ago...

            “Finn.”

            She interrupted my thoughts as she whispered softly to me. Her head lightly collided with my chest and I felt a strong warmth surge through me like medicine.

            “Annie.” Our foreheads bumped as she moved her head away from my chest. I could almost hear Annie sobbing when I closed my eyes, telling myself how much I missed the little moments like this. She gripped the polo so hard I could feel her nails digging into my skin as I hugged her closer to me.

            So she did miss us

            I pulled away from the hug I never wanted to leave. My eyes were turning red from pre-tears but Annie’s sadness was seen in her eyes; flowing with tears as she tried so hard not to frown in front of me.

            “I’m sorry, Annie.”

            I don’t think they’ll ever be an “us” again…

3: Chapter 3

Bzzz… Bzzz….

            “Alright, alright. Jesus Christ…”

            My phone was buzzing so loudly that it woke me up at five… in the morning… on a Saturday. God, can’t a teenage DJ get some dame rest or even sleep in for once? Whatever, guess it’s His fate like always.

            “Yes?” I said as I answered the phone.

            “Becker! You haven’t been answering my calls lately, boy.” Ugh, crap. Sir Larry. If you haven’t been listening to this story so far, Sir Larry’s my boss and the CEO of the recording label I’m signed in, Pure Static Records. For a CEO, he’s pretty young. In fact, he’s a few years older than me; around his early twenties, I believe. His business swagger is of Christian Grey’s, and I’m not sure if that’s an insult or not.

            “You keep calling when I’m in my zone, boss.” I told him, sitting up on my bed. “Don’t worry, I finished that track you wanted. Complextro, not too Skrillex, not too Virtual Riot. Catch my drift?”

            “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be smiling ear-to-ear right now. Good job.” He complimented with a soft laugh. “You show why the young bucks run the EDM show, you know that?”

            I walked to my laptop on my desk and turned it on. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.” I placed the laptop between my ear and shoulder. “I’ll just send the file through your Gmail. Tell Aki to start making the cover art for the track.”

            “I’ll make sure you be the boss once I’m off the EDM picture.” He chuckled. Out of his not-so-funny jokes I heard for months, this is my favorite. “Yeah, you forgot to name your track… as always.” Oh, right. Damn it. “So, what is it, Finn?”

            I thought about it for a while, but nothing really came to mind. Normally, I’d go to a generator online and start scavenging for names like no tomorrow. But things would get a bit awkward when I forget to name a track then Larry asks me on the spot.

            “Um…”

            “You forgot to name it again, didn’t you?” And… crap.

            An idea popped into my head.

            Forever

            “That actually sounds pretty nice, dude. I’ll tell Aki’s team to start working on the art.”

            Lost for words, I said, “Oh, um, thanks. Much appreciated, man.”

            “Alright, that’s all, I guess. And, uh, sorry for waking you too early. Just pulled an all-nighter on a Jack Ü remix. See you, dude.”

            He hung up, and when I gave my song name to Larry, I felt a bit dazed, honestly. I thought of that title on the spot just as i though of "her". Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I thought about you-know-who. Well, a couple of weeks might be considered “a while” to me.

            It’s been weeks since I said that pretty harsh sentence to Annie. By then, she stopped visiting me, whether it’s to drop off some food or if she just wants to talk about God-knows-what. The old man became suspicious, but I was able to convince him that nothing happened between us. Can’t say that I’ve been feeling better, nor can I say that I’ve been feeling worse. I just feel… normal, maybe.

            Just as I shook that thought out of my head, Larry sent a follow-up text.

            “BTW, signed this chick up last Saturday. Visiting the studio at 11. Was hoping you’d show her around. Don’t need an answer. Ur choice if u want to drop by. –L”

            Nice to know more people are signing in Pure Static. It’s not my concern whether you’ll be in this for life or Pure Static is just your launching pad. I only care that you hit number one in the DJ Top 100, and Pure Static is in your DJ history.

            Well, I do need to get mind off of things, so yeah.

            -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Pure Static was in the middle of the metropolis I call home, Baryon City. Think of it as your typical urban environment, without all the trash clogging the sewers and beggars roaming around the intersections. The recording HQ was at the heart of that polis and it’d take me around two train stops to get there.

            Larry’s secretary greeted me once I opened the glass entrance doors. She told me that Larry was still at home and that the new girl still didn’t come. Well, it’s still quarter to eleven so I guess I got some time to spare.

            “So, how are you and Annie, Finn?” She asked, looking so intrigued after she was done typing something on the computer.

            “Just ended it. Not sure… Maybe… I don’t know.” I mumbled as I ruffled my hair in confusion. I really didn’t know what the status between us two was. It was all a blur to me and maybe even Annie too.

            “Oh, I see. I’m sorry for asking.”

            I smirked at her. “Hey, no worries. Guys get through times like these. Even Larry did once, remember?”

            Her face reddened from her sudden blush. “W-W-What? I-I… I guess he did.”

            “If he didn’t, he wouldn’t met his match, am I right?”

            She giggled softly as she readjusted her thin-rimmed glasses. “Yeah, I’m such a lucky girl, aren’t I?”

            “Sure you are.”

            Yeah, Larry’s dating her secretary and all. Started off like the usual business friendships then turned into the budding-slash-puppy love we keep seeing in rom-coms. It was pretty evident and obvious to the other DJs that worked here, even me, yet Larry keeps denying it. Then (finally), he admitted he was going out with her secretary, Tessa.

            The wind chimes hanging above the doors jingled after Tessa and I were done talking about our relationships. A girl around my age or younger walked to Tessa and asked if Larry was here. She gave the same response to the girl as she did to me. But I knew something was up when Tessa gestured to me.

            “Oh, Mr. Newson wanted to show you around, but unfortunately, he couldn’t make it today. Perhaps Finn could show you around? He’s a producer as well.”

            “That’d be nice, thank you.” The girl said to her politely.

            She walked up to me and smiled meekly and shyly at the same time. Man, if that wasn’t cute personified, I have no idea what is. She’s nearly my height; up until my jawline. Her hair was blood red and the hazel in her eyes was in its darkest shade. What topped it off was that silver crucifix chain hanging around her neck.

            “Um, hi.” She said softly. I could tell that she wasn’t really good with people. That was me for a part of my life, around the time before I started producing.

            “Oh, hey there.” I stood up from the neon green couch and greeted her with a grin. “Heard from Larry that you’ll join us here. Welcome to the family.” I tapped thee side at her shoulder and let out a little laugh. She laughed too, just not that loud as mine.

            “Yeah. I’m really glad I’m here.”

            “That’s cool. Hope you’ll like it here.”

            That calm voice of hers was… well, calming. “Uh, thanks.”

            We shared an awkward silence for a moment, and the atmosphere started to get a bit weird between us. The pink from her plaid polo went really well with the red hair that reached her shoulder. She’s a total introvert just from looking at her, but that’s alright. I’m one in my heart, too.

            “So, I guess Tessa wants me to show you around.” I waved to Tessa and she nodded in return. “Building’s not that huge, but it’s pretty cool, really...”

            “Oh yeah. I heard from Mr. Newson about that.”

            I patted her gently on the head. “Just call him Larry. We’re not that formal in here.” I guided her to the elevators and pressed the up button. “Oh, and you can call me Finn, or FB. Your choice.

            She flashed me that Mona Lisa smile at me again. “I guess FB would be nicer, right?”

            â€‹“Heh. I’m starting to like you.” She turned away, as she was trying to hide a mild blush from me. Still got the skills, Finn Becker. The elevator doors opened and both of us went inside. I pressed the second floor button.

            “Oh yeah, I didn’t catch your name. So, um…”

            Her eyes sort of met mine in the weird yet cool way. I feel some sort of rush down my body every time I see that smile, but hey, at least the girl’s happy. Her name?

            “Julie. Julie Ryan.”