NEVER SAY GOODBYE.

Remember when we used to talk about busting out,
We'd break their hearts, together, forever.
An' if our relationship, then, did have a theme tune, that would be it. But time's a healer, an' a curse. Time brings changes an' complications, an' great victories an' losses. Sometimes time brings us the same amount o' losses an' victories, an' they be equal, an' this gives us the hope we need to stumble on, to keep fightin'. But we just never seemed to be that lucky.

But we kept goin', stumblin' onward, weighted down by our burdens an' useless dreams; we kept fightin' for our happy endin' an' our chance to be great. An' we fought for nothin'. Where is our happy endin' now? Lost in the abyss with my useless dreams an' your wasted life. But that doesn't matter, because to me, you will always be great. The very greatest.

You will always be my hero, pullin' me to my feet when the weight o' my hopeless dreams becomes too much, guidin' me in the right direction, an' comfortin' me when I'm scared, tellin' me everythin's goin' to be okay. An' you fought for what you believed in, an' you didn't stop until the very end.

An' I wish that I could be just like you, but I'm, as I am constantly reminded, just a little girl with obnoxiously big dreams. An' in my "obnoxiously big dreams" there is me an' you, facing the big, bad world together, an' the losses an' hits I take would be insignificant, because you would be there to protect me. But that's not goin' to happen, because I'm destined to be alone. An' alone, without you, is when I'm most vulnerable. I don't like being vulnerable, it allows small, insignificant fears to flourish an' grow. An' without you to hold me in strong arms an' whisper sweet, comfortin' nothin's to me, surely I would go insane, an' after a year o' being alone, maybe I have. Maybe I have succumbed to my fears o' the insignificant. But now that I'm not alone anymore, it's strange, because I'm still vulnerable. But not just vulnerable, but responsible, an' not only for myself, but for her too.

I'm happy not to be alone but it's so much different to how things used to be, when it was you an' I. It's like, the roles have been reversed, I have to look after her an' keep her safe. She's so small, an' helpless, an' if I make a wrong decision, if I fail, she dies. An' me? I'm terrified. I'm terrified o' hurtin' her, I'm terrified o' being hurt, I'm terrified o' what I've left behind, an' I'm terrified o' what lies ahead. But I shall swallow my fear an' continue regardless, because she needs someone, someone to love her, to care for her, an' someone to make her smile when the goin' gets tough.

Honestly, I don't know how you did it, I've only just started an' already I live in fear an' all the responsibility is grindin' down on me. I never gave you all the credit you deserve, an' for that I'm sorry. So sorry.

I can't put into words how much I want to thank you, for everythin', an' how bad I feel that I never did. An' part o' me knows that you would tell me it's okay, that you don't mind, that you did it out o' love. For love. Love. That same emotion I feel towards her. It's not an alien emotion, I felt it for you. But this is different, I can't explain it, it's a different kind o' love. It's confusin', but a lot o' things are.

But some things are clear, crystal clear. For instance, I know where we are goin' to go, somewhere safe, an' somewhere far away, where we can make a fresh start. New dreams. New battles. An' new friends. Walton's Mountain, Blue Ridge Mountains, Jefferson County, Virginia. That, dear brother, is where you will find me. Me an' Lucille.

An' you were right, about everythin', an' also about me. I love her. I want to care for her, an' to keep her safe. An' I would do anythin' to do so. It's just like you said it was when you did this with me. An' I get the feelin' that you still are, that you never stopped lookin' out for me. You are that little voice in my ear, guidin' me in the right direction, towards what is best for me. Thank-you. I want to be just like you, I want to be as great an' as strong as you. That is a challenge though, because you are amazin'. You are an amazin' person. The best o' us.

An' I love you, more than you could ever imagine. An' I know that you have gone through a lot for me, sacrificed a lot for me. But I'm goin' to be selfish an' ask for one last thin'. I'm goin' to ask you to give me the courage, an' the hope, an' the strength that I will need to haul my burdens, an' dreams, an' baby sister across the country to the place where we always dreamed o' goin'. An' I ask you this, as the last thin' I will ever ask o' you. Because I am leavin'.

An' maybe you were right. Maybe we will see each other again. But just in case we don't, I want you to know how much you meant to me.

I'll never be able to shake you. Whenever I see a big pair o' feet or a cheesy moustache, I'll think o' you. An' whenever I smell month old socks, I'll think o' you.

I'll miss you. A lot. I can't imagine what this world would have been like if I hadn't found you here. I'll keep you in my mind always. I promise.

An' just in case we don't meet in the Underworld, I left you a message.

GOODBYE.

So brother, I bid you, goodbye, farewell, an' amen.