May 15th, 2016

Today is Nina's birthday, and I honestly never considered of preparing a gift for her. I simply let my mother do it, and who cares if I have money, I do not want to waste it on my sister.

She is turning ten today, an age that I never truly considered official. It is the kind of age when the maturity only decreases rather than doing the opposite, and it is aggravating.

Nina clearly does not get it. She is too young to understand it anyways. And who am I to give her a life lesson her mind would simply ignore to comprehend?

Let mom do it, and when Nina is above the Sweet Sixteen age, hopefully not pregnant, then I might consider talking to her in the adult manner. As for now, she is an annoying little kid that has no place in my sanity.

She won't be for a long time.

Mom has made everything in the best effort for the party preparations. I mean everything Party hats, balloons, confetti, crap like multicolored cups, and paper plates. She brought drinks like lemonade and soda and filled every cup with a different liquid, color coding them. The blue was raspberry, the red was lemon, the green was cherry, and the yellow turned out to be just for the soda. She also wasted money on a huge cake with Nina's image on it, as if my sister was some kind of a God that was to be praised each insignificant birthday she was to live through.

I mean an age of 10 is not even a big deal! It is just another year adding to your life that you will regret as you proceed to get older. It is just another year lost. But of course, my parents have to make it a grand celebration, a big pointless party, where most adult will be chucking down vodka, while their kids complained about the struggle of Barbie dolls and the meaning of life in stuffed animals.

She better enjoy this birthday because otherwise I will teach her a lesson. What will I do? Well. Break all of her stupid dolls that she cherishes so dearly, make her cry most likely, get in trouble, but regret nothing. I know, I know, I may be a cruel sister, but real life outside the strong walls of our house is worse. We all have to learn how to survive, and if it means to start from early age, that means we will. Trained like dogs to follow the commands from our instinct. Do not trust anyone, make sure to have a plan B always in mind, and in case that fails, hold the whole alphabet.

So what did mom get Nina from me? A doll. Of course. What a "loving" sister I am, just know what to get my sister! I honestly do not care. She likes it? Good. She does not? Mom will take the blame and I will be once more the "villain" sister.

I like to be called that from Nina. Makes me feel like the Norse God of Mischief, Loki. And she is Thor though not strong, but ignorant and silly at times. Our parents always give her the best, and I am just kind of there, playing my role of a shadow. I guess it is just my age that is preventing me to be treated like a kid, which is great news. The worst thing to be called in this whole world is to be named a child.

Happy Whatever Nina, please do not ruin my day by asking for attention. You have killed by brain cells enough; let me stay in my room in peace.