Chapter 1: Jimmy and Fred

Welcome to the sophisticated story of sir Jimmy, and sir Fred. They are average weight, 12-Year-Old boys in 7th grade. The school they go to is called Starfish Intermediate School, and if you're wondering, this isn't going to be very sophisticated. Jimmy is black, and Fred is white. I know it's called Jimmy and Fred, but Fred is the main one. The reason why is because I was giving an example and said "HI JIMMY!" and then I said "HI FRED!" And that was the origin of Jimmy and Fred. This is the charts of their school. I forgot to mention that they were both born in 2025, which means this takes place in 2037.

Most perverted:

1. Jimmy Rojo

2. Robert

3. Christopher

4. Jessica

5. Matthew

6. Luis

7. Lois

8. Brandon

9. Avery

10. Veronica

Most popular

1. Legend

2. Inuko

3. Mark

4. Lez

5. Fred

6. Avery

7. Jimmy

8. Christopher

8. Jimmy

9. Rodney

10. Rodney 2

Smartest

1. Inuko

Mark

2. Gale

3. John

4. IwantHIV

5. Dale

6. Sail

7. Bale

8. Cail

9. Qwerts

10. ItalianJanitorsSon

Okay, now let's start the story.

At teh bus stop

Fred: HI JIMMY!

Jimmy: HI FRED!

Fred: I HATE SCHOOL!

Jimmy: ME TOO FRED!

Fred: WHY ARE WE TALKING LIKE WE ARE MENTALLY ILL?

Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW FRED!

Fred: Jimmy, Jimmy, just talk normal.

Jimmy: Okay Fred!

Fred: Why do you always say Fred at the end of a sentence? It's very annoying.

Jimmy: It's not my fault Fred.

Fred: Yes, it is.

Jimmy: Wow Fred, that's a very fast car Fred. Fred, how fast do you think it's going Fred?

Fred: 107 miles

Jimmy: Fred, how did you estimate that so quickly Fred?

Fred: I stole some tool thingy from the cops.

Jimmy: Maybe it's the cops trying to take it back from you Fred.

Fred: Jimmy, police don't wear a ski mask, a bikini, and a chocolate bar on the top of their head.

Jimmy: Bikini Fred? That's so sexy Fred.

Fred: Jimmy, he's in his late 40's.

Jimmy: To me it looks like a woman in their early 20's Fred. But Fred, how did you guess it so quickly Fred?

Fred: I just stole a couple of things from the NSA. I've been stalking that person since late 2035. His name is James Logan Kendall, he has 2 older brothers named Carlos and Justin, and his search history is very disgusting.

Jimmy: Wow Fred! I can't believe he's that far away from us Fred. He's been driving at 107 miles for about 5 minutes, and he STILL hasn't got near us Fred. I wonder where he's driving to Fred.

Fred: I check his Inubook status about 10 minutes ago, it said "Well, time to kidnap a kid that go's to Starfish Intermediate School. As a pedophile, it is my duty to capture her, tie her down, keep her there, and play Call of Duty." The comment was posted an hour ago.

Jimmy: Fred! We have to stop this guy Fred! But how come the police haven't arrested him yet Fred?

Fred: Because Inubook became irrelevant 5 years ago.

Jimmy: What's his account name Fred?

Fred: Sand in The Beach.

Jimmy: Do you know what his real name is Fred?

Fred: I've been looking into into it since late last year, and I still don'y know what his real name. This man must be a genius criminal if he can hide his identity THAT well.

Jimmy: Wait, Fred? How come you've had that NSA thing for over a year, and you haven't been arrested yet Fred?

Fred: Don't question it, just go with the flow.

Jimmy: Okay Fred. Anyways, I think he pulled over next to us a couple of minutes ago. I think he's listening to our conversation, and think he is going to kidnap us because he knows our plan Fred.

Fred: Oh crap...

2: Sand in the Beach

Jimmy and Fred

Chapter 2: Sand in The Beach.

In sand in the beaches house

Jimmy: Fred? Are you awake Fred?

Fred: Yes, I am. Are we late for school? What time is it?

Jimmy: Since we’re tied down, I can barley make out what’s on my watch Fred. Although, I can make out that It’s in the P.M’s Fred.

Sand in The Beach: Guys, you’ve been asleep for 10 hours. It’s about time I can tell you my plan.

Fred: What’s the plan?

Sand in The Beach: Look at the paper I will show you.

What the paper said.

Step 1: Drive to Starfish Intermediate.

Step 2: Get Inuko and bring her to my house.

Step 3: Tie her down and have some fun... Playing Call of Duty.

End of Paper.

Jimmy: That’s evil Sand in The Beach!

Fred: Where exactly are we?

Sand in The Beach: In the great country of Jimmy Santa (Reference to my story on fictionpress. This story is also there. The link is at the botton)

Fred: That’s not good. I have no clue where that is, and how far away it is from home.

Sand in The Beach: Oh, it doesn’t matter. While you’re tied up, I’ll just be leaving for Starfish Intermediate so I can act out my plan. Goodbye!

5 minutes later

Jimmy: I’M FREAKING OUT MAN FRED!

Fred: I know you are, you’ve been saying that for the past 5 minutes. And I already know what you’re going to say next…

Jimmy: WE NEED TO FIND OUT A WAY TO GET OUT OF HERE SO WE CAN STOP SAND IN THE BEACH FRED!

Fred: Maybe we should try to untie ourselves with our bare hands.

Jimmy: Okay Fred!

4 Hours Later

Fred: Wow, I can’t believe we did it! But it did take us forever to do it.

Jimmy: Yup Fre-

Fred: *Slaps Jimmy*

Jimmy: What was that for Fred?

Fred: Stop saying the name of the person you’re talking to at the end of every sentence. I can’t take it anymore. You need to get out of the habit of doing that. Let’s make a deal, okay? Every 5 times you say Fred at the end of a sentence for no reason at all, I’ll slap you.

Jimmy: It’s a deal, *Gulp* Fred.

Fred: That’s one. Now I’ll look at his computer so we can figure out how far we are from our school, and find out the quickest route back to our school.

Jimmy: This is boring. Have you got anything yet?

Fred: I do know. We’re about 5527 miles away from our school. We’ve got a LOOOOOOOOOONG way to go.

Jimmy: What are we going to do?

Fred: Maybe we can ask people around if they know him.

Jimmy: Good idea, Fred.

Fred: That’s two.

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/937814/YellowCorn64

3: Short Story Short

Jimmy and Fred

Chapter 3: Short Story Short

Outside of Sand in the Beaches house.

Fred: Okay, now It's time to look for people in this city that know who Sand in the Beach is.

Jimmy: Okay! I'll start by asking that person.

1 minute later.

Fred: How did it go?

Jimmy: Well, he didn't speak our language, so I tried to teach him. Long story short h-

Fred: Jimmy, it wasn't a long story.

Jimmy: WHATVER! Anyways, short story short, he must have thought that I was insulting him or something because he slapped me 1,986,867 times in a row a-

Fred: Wait, 1,986,867? How can someone do that in less than a minute?

Jimmy: Exactly. I told him that, and he must have thought I was flirting with him. We'll probably never get anywhere at this rate.

Fred: Let me try.

1 minute later.

Jimmy: How did it go?

Fred: Well, none of them spoke out language when I shouted to them "HEY! DO ANY OF YOU SPEAK ENGLISH" So long story short th-

Jimmy: Fred, it wasn't a long story

Fred: WHATEVER! Wait, do you also have a sense of Déjà vu?

Jimmy: No…

Fred: Okay. Anyways, short story short, they must have thought that I was insulting them because they all slapped me exactly 686,973,678,932,932,645 times in a row… Each…

Jimmy: Wait, 686,973,678,932,932,645 How can someone do that in less than a minute?

Fred: Exactly. I told them that, and they must have thought I was flirting with each and every one of them. It was a disaster.

Jimmy: Okay. Let's just buy random airplane tickets hopining the send us home. Maybe we'll get lucky.

Fred: That's a good idea, but how do we get the money to pay for it?

Jimmy: Either two things, we work hard for it, or steal it.

Fred: Okay, when I say go, we'll both say our answer.

Jimmy and Fred: 3, 2, 1, go. STEAL IT, BUT ONLY BECAUSE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

Fred: Well, It's decided, we'll split up.

36 hours later.

Fred: Man, the last day has been CRAZY, what happen to you?

Jimmy: Well I stole some money, and I got busted. I was thrown in jail and I was supposed to be in there for life, since they thought I was a terrorist. Once I broke out of the cell, I had to beat up all the cops in an epic battle. After I got out of the jail, I found some car keys on the ground and drove off in a police car with a gun in my pocket. A couple of minutes later, I was being chased by exactly 22 police cars. They kept shooting my car, and eventually I only had three tires left. I decided it couldn't take it anymore, so I pulled over and kidnapped a 16-Year-Old boy and forced him to drive the car for me. Luckily, while I was pulled over the police stopped to get McDonalds. But anyways, when I started driving and the battle continued, I was on top of the car shooting the police and their cars one by one. When I was down to the last cop, I jumped off the car. I almost got ran over, but when he was about 10 feet away from me, I shot his window, jumped up, ran to the back of the car, shot down the back window, and got In the car. When I was in the car I hit the police until he passed out, and I took control of the car. I drove here, and if you look in THAT direction you can see the police car I drove. What happened to you?

Fred: I stole A LOT of money, I used most of it, and I went on a crazy adventure. About two hours after I stole the money, I was kidnapped and taken to a stranded island. When I awoke, all the money was gone and I didn't have ANYTHING! I decided to explore the island and figure out how to get back, but before I did that I had to find all my things. A while later, I saw a gorilla, snake, bird, wolf hybrid, and it had my shirt, pants, underpants, shoes, and socks. So I grabbed a log and started the battle. All of my attacks missed because the log was heavy, but lucky it also missed their attacks. Later, I decided to ditch the log because it was too heavy, and decided to fight with my bare hands. First, I punched him in the stomach, then shoulder, mouth, and neck. They all failed. Next, I tried to choke it, I failed big time. And then, a shirtless man swinging on a rope came and hit the gorilla snake bird wolf on the head and it was knocked out. The mans name was Guitarzan. I thanked him, and took off with my clothes and found a place. Right before I left, I realized I didn't have the money, so I found the money five seconds later and left. If you look in THAT direction, you can faintly see the island. And also, I bought the plane tickets.

Jimmy: Great! Let's go!

Come back next time to see if Fred guessed the foreign writing correctly and they are going to go home and stop Sand in the Beach!

4: 10 Seconds Later

Jimmy and Fred

Chapter 4: 10 Seconds Later

At the Airport.

Fred: Okay Jimmy. We’ve come this close, and all we have to do is get lucky.

Jimmy: I know that, and I need to pee.

Fred: Pee in your pants! Okay, so let’s go on dis madaf***ing plane already!

At their destination.

Fred: I’m so glad we’re out of there. I didn’t know there were barber shops in planes.

Jimmy: I didn’t either. I was trying trying to eat something, and hair was all over the food! But it still was tasty. And when I looked out of the window, we were above “Hair From The Barber Shop On The Airplane Island”

Fred: When I went to the bathroom, there was a weird looking monster. It kind of looked like a hairy roach, but 5 feet bigger, and with hairy human legs.

Jimmy: Well, all that matters is that we’re home, righ-

Dude 1: Hello! Welcome to Africa!

Dude 2: Yeah!

Jimmy: My mom was right! My hat IS red!

Dude 1: Your racist! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 2: YEAH! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 1: Your mom is racist! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 2: YEAH *Slaps Jimmy*

Jimmy: But that’s not even racist, and I’m the same skin color as you.

Dude 1: THAT’S NOT FUNNY! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 2: YEAH!! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 1: By ugly Americans that like bugers and fries! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 2: YEAH! *Slaps Jimmy*

Fred: Geez, they’re the racist ones, right Jimmy? Wait, where’s Jimmy?

Random African Lady: He’s over there.

Fred: And where exactly is “There”? You didn’t tell me where, AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN POINT IN ANY DIRECTION!

Random African Lady: He's right there *Points at Jimmy* He’s playing with my kids.

Fred: How could you have kids? You're too old!

Random African Lady: *Tears up* You’ll never understand once you find true love! *Runs away and cries*

30 Years Later.

Fred: I’ve been married for around 20 years, and I still don’t understand how anyone can have kids in their late 40's.

Fred’s future wife: Maybe she was lying.

Back to the Present

Fred: I’ll just go to Jimmy now.

30 seconds later.

Fred: There he is.

Jimmy: HEY FRED! COME OVER HERE!

Fred: Jimmy, I’m right next to you…

Jimmy: Are you cussing with me?

Fred: No you cussing with me?

Jimmy: No…

10 seconds later.

Jimmy: Well this is awkard…

Fred: Yup, it kind of reminds me of the old days.

7 years ago.

Teacher: READ YOU STUPID 5-YEAR-OLD!

Fred: Okay! “Once, a handsome young man went to the bathroom an-

Teacher: DON’T READ MY BOOK!

10 seconds later

Fred: Well this is awkward…

Back to the Present: Part 2

Fred: *Sigh* I miss the old days.

Jimmy: Me too. *Sigh*

Jimmy and Fred: *Sigh*

Jimmy: You sighing with me?

Fred: No… Let’s play catch!

Dude 1: YOUR FRIEND IS RASICT! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 2: YEAH! *Slaps Jimmy*

Dude 1: He so racist h-

*Gun shots*

Jimmy: Thank you for your kindness, they were SO annoying. At least not every African is as annoying as they were. Who are you?

Pill: I’m Pill.

Jimmy: Okay… GET US PLANE TICKETS!

Pill: To where exactly?

Fred: To S-

Jimmy: INDIA!!! I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go there!

Pill: Okay.

Fred: *Facepalm* NOOOOOOOOOOOO! And by the way Pill, how old are you?

Pill: 10.

Fred: I remember when I was 10…

When Fred was 10.

Fred: I’m 10.

Back to the present: Part 3

Jimmy: LET’S GO!

Fred: I just hope nobody steals my cab like that homeless fat man did…

Can you find the movie references?

Come back next time for Chapter 5: The TFMSMA Agency!

5: The TFMSMA Agency

Jimmy and Fred

Chapter 5: The TFMSMA Agency.

At India

Fred: Jimmy, WHY DID YOU WANT TO GO TO INDIA???

Jimmy: I already said why, because I always wanted to go there.

Fred: WE COULD HAVE GONE HOME AND SAVED THE PERSON FROM SAND IN THE BEACH!!!

Jimmy: Oh well.

Fred: Let’s steal a time machine.

Jimmy: Okay.

5 minutes later.

Fred: Okay Jimmy, we’ve found a time machine to rob.

Jimmy: Okay, let’s break in and steal it and make sure to do it before sunset.

Fred: Okay.

After they got the time machine.

Fred: That was easy…

Jimmy: Yup. At least it wasn’t as hard as my high speed car chase.

Fred: Let’s go back in time, to tell your past self to not go to India.

Jimmy: LET’S DO DIS BABY!

???: Got you, Jimmy and Fred.

Jimmy and Fred: NOOOOOOOOO!

1 hour later

Jimmy: Where are we?

???: You’re at the TFMSMA Agency. It stands for “The Fat Mother Sold My Agency”. The origin of this secret agency is that the founders fat mother sold his old agency, so he decided to start a new one. I’m Agent YLLMB, that stands for “You Look Like My Brother”. This agency is located in multiple country’s.

Fred: Did you make the time machine we took?

YLLMB: No, we bought it from someone.

Fred: Okay… LET US USE TEH TIME MACHINE!!!

YLLMB: No.

Fred: PLEASE! JUST ONCE!

YLLMB: No.

Jimmy: Don’t worry Fred, I got this. HEY Agent *Shows a $5 bill to Agent YLLMB*

YLLMB: Kid, TFMSMA has $9,876,564,879,002 , I’ll take the money but that’s not going to make me let you use the time machine.

Fred: *Steals time machine ad goes with Jimmy to the past*

YLLMB: Oh well.

In the past.

Pill: I'm Pill.

Jimmy: Okay… GET US PLANE TICKETS!

Pill: To where exactly?

Fred: *Slaps past Jimmy* STARFISH KINGDOM!

Pill: The closest flight is to Jimmy Santa.

Fred: Maybe we can guess that writing correctly this time.

Jimmy: Yup.

Fred: OFF TO THE PRESENT!

At the present

YLLMB: INTRUDES! Lock them in the Vault!

At the Vault

Jimmy: How did that happen.

Fred: Well, give me a chalkboard.

Jimmy: *Gives a chalkboard*

Fred: This line is represents time, when we went to the past and made ourselves take a flight to Jimmy Santa, it created another timeline. When we came back, we went to that timeline, in this timeline we never stole the time machine, Agent YYLMB never met us, and you still have your 5 dollar bill. What we need to do is figure out a way to make them think we’re agents from another country so they’ll let us out, then we can use the time machine, and stop our past selves from asking Pill to buy tickets to Jimmy Santa. Since they’re going to feed us in 5 minutes, we can act out our plan soon.

5 minutes later

Random Agent : Here’s your food.

Fred: We’re agents from another country, we used a teleportation device to get here.

Random Agent: If you’re an agent, answer the question I’m about to ask you. Only a TFMSMA agent can answer it. What does TFMSMA stand for?

Jimmy: The Fat Mother Stole My Agency! Now can we borrow the time machine?

Random Agent: Correct, and yes.

Fred: LET’S GO TO TEH PAST!

Next up is Chapter 6: Jimmy Santa Land!

6: Jimmy Santa Land

Jimmy and Fred

Chapter 6: Jimmy Santa Land

In the past.

Pill: I'm Pill.

Jimmy: Okay… GET US PLANE TICKETS!

Pill: To where exactly?

Fred: *Slaps past Fred that was about to slap past Jimmy* INDIA!

Past Fred: Wh-

Fred: It's for a good reason, and don't steal a time machine.

Past Fred: Okay.

After past Jimmy and past Fred left.

Fred: Okay Jimmy, let's go back to the present.

Jimmy: Okay.

In the present.

Fred: Since our past selves didn't steal the time machine, we never got taken to the TFMSMA Agency, and we never got locked in that vault. Oh, and you have the $5 bill.

Jimmy: Right, and now we can go to Jimmy Santa and guess the foreign writing again,

Fred: Exactly.

At the airport.

Fred: LET'S GO TO JIMMY SANTA LAND!

Airport Person: That's very far away, are you sure you want to leave?

Fred: Yes.

At Jimmy Santa Land.

Random Person: Hey look aliens. THEY'RE ALIENS!

Jimmy: We're not illegal aliens, don't worry.

Random Person: No, you're from another planet! THEY'RE FROM ANOTHER PLANET!

Fred: Is he stupid or something?

Random Person: They think I'm stupid. THEY THINK I'M STUPID!

Jimmy: Do you always have to say something, then yell the same thing?

Fred: Jimmy, I think we took a flight to another planet.

Jimmy: Well I guess that explains that we took a flight to Jimmy Santa LAND and not Jimmy Santa. We're idiots…

Fred: Let's run before they start shooting us.

Jimmy: Agreed.

Random Person: Okay people, FIRE!

After 12 minutes of running and trying to shoot them, they couldn't find Jimmy and Fred.

Jimmy: Okay, I think we lost them.

Fred: I'm going to sing a campfire song.

Jimmy: But there's no campfire.

Fred: I don't care.

After Fred sang the terrible, terrible campfire song.

Jimmy: MY EARS!

Other Random Person: What was that terrible noise… Wait, IT'S THE ALIENS! SHOOOOOOOOOOT!

While Jimmy and Fred were running away from tons of aliens shooting them.

Jimmy: Don't you think It's weird that the aliens speak the same language as us?

Fred: I didn't even realize that until now…

Other Other Random Person: CLEAR THE AREA SO WE CAN NUKE DA F***K OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Fred: Jimmy, I think our time on this planet i-

Jimmy: Fred, we've been to two planets.

Fred: Fine, I think our time in this Galaxy is up.

Jimmy: There you go.

Fred: We should try to come up with a plan to survive the attack.

Jimmy: We should.

Read the next chapter see what their plan to survive is in Chapter 7: Jimmy Santa.