Shut Up

Who cares anymore? Shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. I'm stupid. No I'm not. Shut up. I can't think, shut up! Go away, leave me alone, I'm dead, but I'm not. I'm stupid. Shut up. Stupid little girl. Always someone smarter. Shut up. Always someone who has it worse. Shut up and get up. Your stupid. Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Not responsible. Shut up. I am. Am not. Just die. Just me go away. Shut up! But I can't. Pathetic. I'm smart. Yeah right. I'm hopeless. SHUT UP! Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut up. Who cares? They do. They don't. Shut up. I'm stupid. Not smart. Go away. Shut up. I do. I don't. I don't care. But I do. Apparently I don't. Shut up you stupid little girl. Your stupid, get a grip. You can't do anything. Shut up, but I won't. 'Cause I'm dead, 'cause I'm dumb. Shut up! Go away. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. I don't want to be comforted. Don't want anyone to know. Who cares if they know, I'm dead. Why won't I shut up?! Stop it! Stupid! Stupid little girl nothing more. Shut up world, shut up me.

2

The officers run into the school gym. "Put the gun down," says the female officer, pointing a gun of her own at the highschooler. The girl makes no move to drop the gun. On the floor is another high school age girl lying in a pool of blood with a hole in her chest. "Why did you do it?" the officer asks instead. "She wouldn't shut up," is the reply. Slowly she moves the gun away from her friend towards herself, aiming at her heart. "And neither would I."

*Bang*

Insanity

Sometimes I wonder if I have sanity. The voices. No voices. Not Voices. Myself.

In circles. Won't stop. Drives me crazy. Makes me wonder. I argue. I shout.

Insanity. The repeats.

Repeats.

Repeats.

Repeats.

Make it stop.

I talk to myself. That's the voices. Circles.

Circles.

Repeat.

The circles drive them crazy. Them is they. They is me. Me is the insanity.

Repeat.

In deep and won't go to sleep. I tell myself to go away and tear myself to shreds. I don't listen.

'Cause I'm not telling me, but I am telling me because it is insanity.

Die. Why. Lie. No question. Repeat.

Degrading.

Decaying to insanity. Repeat. Repeat.

Repeat.

4

   On the bed is an old fashioned record player. It is broken so it does not work properly. Despite that a record plays on it, though it keeps repeating the same lines. Beside the old record player lies a silver pocket knife with a wooden handle. Found on the blade is light traces of blood. If one were to look more closely at the record and record player they could just make out tiny droplets of blood. In the middle of the room lies a girl with a faint smile on her face. She looks as if she is asleep. In her right hand is an empty bottle of pills. Next to the same hand, on its side, is an empty glass of water. On the inside of the girls left arm are fresh cuts, still slightly bleeding. The cuts seem to form letters. There is a “c” and an “i” followed by an “r”, another “c” and an “l”. The last two letters are an “e” and an “s”.

Stupid

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID! You messed up. Big time. Stupid, disobedient little girl. No one trusts you. No one should trust you. Don't deserve it.

Stupid! Shut up. Stupidness kills people. stupidness makes messes. Stupidness breaks things. Stupidness loses trust. Stupidness never had trust. Stupidness cries like a little baby. Stupidness is pathetic. Stupidness dissapears. Dissapears and never comes back.

Go away.

Shut up.

Circles.

Stupid!

Cry yourslef to sleep. Stupid little girl. Such a dissapointment.

Little miss perfect isn't miss perfect.

Just stupid.

Repeat.

just stupid.

And won't shut up!

Stupid, stupid, stupid little girl. Needs to learn her lesson. Never here again. Banned. Dissapear. Dissapear NOW! Stupid needs to dissapear! Shout. Shout and shut up and dissapear and never come back, don't turn around and don't repeat the circle.

Freaked out.

Freaked out and stupid. stupid. Stupid. Rant and shut up.

Stop it.

Shut up.

No repeat.

Just stupid.

6

The basement door is locked. taped and tacked all over the dull gray walls is paper. White, pink, gray, green, sticky notes, manilla, notebook paper and any other kind of paper you can think of. All of it is covered in writing. But they only say one word.

Stupid.

What little furniture that was in the basement has been pushed against the paper cov ered walls. On the concrete floor, written in ink, in large black letterng is two words.

"Never Learned".

In the middle of the room is a stool. Above the stool is a girl. Hanging from a hook in the cieling above the girl and the stool is a rope. Part of the rope is around the girls neck.

Think

Shaking. Can't write. Can't think. Think. Think. Why am I thinking this? Shut down. It won't hurt. You won't do it 'cause you know it's stupid even though you want to. You don't want to. Do you want to. What do you want? What do you want!

What are you talking about. Reference. It's stupid. No one will ever like you. Why am I talking, why am I thinking, shut down before you cry.

You hate it. What do you hate. Hate is a strong word. Who are you talking to? Who am I talking to? Who is talking to who? What tone do we use.

We.

Me.

Pathetic. Don't start that again. Just shut down. Don't. You're scared. That's just pathetic.

Guilty.

Not.

Guilty.

For what? Nothing. Nothing makes sense. Nothing makes snese. Double meaning. Hidden meaning. What meaning. Too personal. Don't write.

Think.

Write.

Think.

Write.

Think.

Right.

Never. Never. Never do it. Do what? Calm down. Do or don't? What reference? What tone? Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry. Why. Lie. Cry. Shut up. Don't start that again! Don't start, don't start, don't start! Don't start.

Stop.

No.

Why. cry. Why. Stop. Why. Never ever ever. No. No. Yes. No! Cry! Can't! Shut it! Shut up! DON'T START THAT AGAIN! But I can't. I can't. I can't. Can't what? Don't.

Stop.

Stop repeating. Don't start- But I will! Who will? What will? Will what? What? No, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

For cryin' out loud DON'T START THAT AGAIN! But I can't.

I can't...

...Can't what?