Elliot POV

I swore my arms were going to fall off. Daniel was walking behind me, carrying a blue bundle in his arms. I, on the other hand, was carrying two bags and a box. How this happened, I didn't know. Daniel was just really good at getting me to do things for him.

"Shhhh," Daniel whispered lovingly to the bundle. "Don't cry."

We reached our small apartment. Daniel swept by me with a key and opened the door. I watched the small bundle wiggle in Daniel's arms. I smiled- it was finally happening.

"Welcome home, Matthew James-Erikson." Daniel smiled and kissed the bundle gently.

I dropped the pile of baby supplies at the door. We had bought some when we heard that the mother we met have us a due date, but they were way too big for Matthew now. He was tiny, with tufts of brown hair and little brown eyes.

I held my arms out, "Gimme."

"No," he held Matthew tightly. "I've got him."

"We agreed that you'd hold him while I finished signing the adoption forms," I sighed. Daniel was like this around kids. "You said you would drive home and I would get to carry Matthew in."

That was a bit of a stretch. Our agreement changed nearly every day while Mathew was in the NICU, but that was how I remembered it. Daniel looked at me and the nearly fussy baby in his arms.

"But he's so warm," Daniel whined. "Like a baby space warmer."

"Which I haven't gotten to hold yet." I walked over to Daniel and stood behind him. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. "Besides, we're going to be living with him for the next eighteen years. We'll have more than enough times to carry him. But I need to hold him."

Daniel sighed and played with the brown tufts on Matthew's head. He just wanted to hold the baby, but he begrudgingly handed me Matthew. He was right, Matthew was warm. Matthew wriggled a few times before settling comfortably in my arms. His breathing slowed and he drifted off to sleep.

"How did you do that?" Daniel asked in a harsh whisper.

"I have a gift," I stared down at my son's face. He was blissfully unaware and exhausted. "Jack would love him."

"Isaac would fawn over him," Daniel agreed. "Should we invite them over to dinner?"

"You order the Chinese," I said quietly. "Just wait until I call them. Are they back in town?"

Daniel raised his eyebrow. "Why would I know? You have more contact with them than I do."

I sighed and walked over the phone. It was a new experience, trying to hold Matthew and get the phone dialed and against my ear. The phone rang for a bit before I heard the click of someone answering.

"Hello?" Jack's voice boomed. I never realized how loud he was until I was holding a sleeping infant.

"Hey Jack, this is Elliot." I raised my voice to a normal sounding level. I wanted to keep Matthew a surprise. "Daniel and I wanted to know if you two wanted to come over tonight for dinner."

Jack laughed, and I heard Isaac laugh as well. Isaac yelled from somewhere else, "What were you planning on ordering?"

"Chinese," I answered. Neither Daniel nor myself had ever gotten the ability to make food that tasted good. Looking down at Matthew, I realized that we would have to learn how for his sake.

"I'm in the mood for free Chinese," Jack giggled. "But I'm always up for free food."

I laughed, "Be here at six then."

"Oh," Jack said suddenly. "How is the adoption hunt going?"

"It's going," I lied. "Can you be here at like six?"

"Sure. See you then."

"Bye Jack."

"Bye Elliot," Isaac yelled.

Matthew began to squirm and I hung up the phone quickly. I bounced him softly, humming under my breath. Daniel walked in on his cell phone, looking at the take out menu. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Yes, that'll be it," Daniel listened to the person on the phone. "Of course. Thank you."

"Can we go show Matthew his bedroom?" I asked.

"Course," Daniel smiled even wider. "You look really hot, holding Matthew."

"I know," I really was a humble person. "You were too."

Daniel chuckled. We walked out of the front room and down the hall. When we bought the two bedroom apartment, we never expected to have a child with us. We wanted to move into a home before we adopted. Fate had other things planned, because it was then we met Matthew's mother and everything snowballed from there.

The nursery was decorated in a bright blue with red polka dots. Daniel picked the colors out while I found the small crib which sat in the corner of the room. There was a low desk for changing and a rocking chair in the corner of the room. This was his room.

I sat down in the rocking chair and began rocking. Matthew yawned before opening his small eyes. He looked up at me and I looked down at him. This was happening. I had a child. We had a child. I would do anything to protect him.

"Oh my gods," Daniel whispered. "Don't you dare move. I need to take a picture of this and draw it."

"Alright, sweetie," I wasn't planning on moving anyway. Matthew's brown eyes were observing me. He wasn't making any sound, not that I thought he would. But I expected him to be crying at some point.

Jack and Isaac were going to be so jealous of us. Daniel reentered the room, carrying the camera I bought for our fifth anniversary and his sketch pad. He brought the camera up to his eyes and took the picture. Thank gods the flash was off. Daniel examined the photo for a minute before dropping the camera in the crib and pulling out the sketch pad.

"What time is it, sweetie?"

"A little after five," Daniel answered. "I promise I'll be done before the delivery guy gets here. But I'm holding Matthew while you set the table."

"Fine," I answered. I still had a good twenty minutes with my baby.

Time passed in a slow bliss. Matthew had fallen asleep again, and the only noise was the sound of Daniel drawing. I was so glad I fell in love with an artist. Pictures were fine, of course, but there was something intimate in a drawing.

Daniel set his pencil down and wiped his forehead. "I'm done."

Like it was planned out, someone knocked at the door. I stood up and stretched. Daniel followed me to the door. I handed him Matthew and he handed me his wallet. He walked off and I paid for dinner. The delivery man, whose name I think was Jeffery, gave me the bags and walked off.

I entered the kitchen to find Daniel leaning against the wall, staring at Matthew's face. I set the Chinese down on our table and ran to Matthew's room. I grabbed the camera and turned it on. The photo of me and Matthew was still on the screen. I understood why Daniel had to take the photo.

It was plain to see that there was something magical in the air. There were twinkles in my eyes that very well could have been tears. It was just a tender moment, and I thanked the gods for this camera. Now, it would hold a picture of Daniel with his son too.

I took the photo. Daniel looked so content and happy. I had known Daniel so long that I knew that there was always a bit of sorrow hanging over his head as a result of what happened to him in school. But when he was holding Matthew, it was gone. He was whole, like nothing had ever gone wrong. Matthew was a blessing in disguise, apparently.

"Hun," I said as I pulled cups out of the cupboard, "do we have a place for Matthew to sit at while we eat."

"I was kind of hoping that he would stay with us. He won't be set down until bedtime if I have anything to do with it." He said smiling. "Would you hold Matthew when Jack and Isaac get here? There's something magical when you hold him."

"There's something with you too," I shrugged and set the glasses on the table. I looked up at the clock. Quarter to six, more than enough time to make things look normal. "But sure. I'm going to put the diapers and other things in the nursery."

"Alright," he relaxed deeper in the chair. He started whispering into Matthew's ear. I hoped he wasn't spreading any rumors about me.

I grabbed the diaper bag and our bag of baby clothes and moved them into Matthew's room. I took the clothes out and began to fold them. After a few minutes, I had a small pile of clothes that just needed to be put into drawers. I sighed, I was awful at keeping my laundry done, meaning Daniel's rarely got done, and now Matthew's would never get done.

"Elliot." Daniel walked into the room. "Jack and Isaac are usually early. Take Matthew for a minute? I'm going to add some color to my latest commission until they get here."

"Okay, sweetie."

Warmth pooled in my chest when I accepted Matthew again. Daniel left the room, leaving me and Matthew alone. I rocked him in my arms, gently swaying back and forth.

"You know," I smiled, "it was quite the adventure getting you here today. So many things were against us adopting you. Your mother's family, the unknown father, the adoption agency. We jumped through so many hoops to try and prove that we could care for you. We just wanted to have someone to look after.

"Then, it happened. We got the phone call when you were born that told us that you were born. We rushed to the hospital only to find you were in the NICU. The nurses told us you were premature. That you weren't ready yet. So we waited for you. We waited with you, praying to whoever listens that you would get better."

"Hey Jack, Isaac." Daniel's voice came from the front room.

"Hello," Isaac's more timid voice drifted towards me. "Where's Elliot?"

"He's in the spare room," Daniel answered.

"Is he coming out?" There was Jack. I was wondering why it was so quiet.

"He came out first," Daniel joked. "But I'm not sure."

"I'm going to go get him," Isaac announced. His voice getting closer down the hallway. I turned away from the door and sat down in the rocking chair.

Matthew's eyes shot open at the sudden movement. I hummed, and Matthew began to drift to sleep again. He seemed totally out of it. Which was to be expected. This was a stressful day for him.

"Elliot, are you coming to," Isaac cut off and his eyes widened. He looked around the nursery before his eyes settled on Matthew. "Jack said that you haven't adopted yet."

"We kind of lied," I smiled. "Isaac, I want you to meet Matthew James-Erikson."

Isaac walked over to me. His eyes were soft as he knelt next to me, to get a good look at Matthew. "How old is he?"

"A little over a month," I stood up carefully. "Do you want to hold him?"

Isaac nodded. I cradled Matthew's head and moved him over to Isaac's awaiting arms. There was silence in the room as Isaac stared down at Matthew. I led Isaac out of the nursery and towards the kitchen.

"Took you long enough," Jack laughed. His eyes narrowed when he saw Isaac with Matthew. He looked at Daniel and Isaac before settling his gaze back on me. "You said you haven't adopted yet."

"I kinda sorta lied," I smiled.

"Well," Jack smiled widely, "congratulations. What's the little one's name?"

"Matthew," Daniel answered, walking over to me. "Matthew James-Erikson."

"Jack, I want one," Isaac whined.

2: Max

Isaac POV

We entered them orphanage just off of Fourteenth and Marlowe. It was a small, but relatively cozy location. I could imagine how horrible it must be to live without parents though...

A receptionist looked up, "Hello, you two must be Jackson and Isaac Frost."

"We are indeed," Jack threw on his business smile and shook her hand.

"Right this way," she gestured to a small room with a tiny table and three chairs.

Jack and I sat in the wooden chairs.

"Max will be in in a moment," she smiled and shut the door.

I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. We had met Max before and wanted to adopt him, but it took a while for the paperwork to go through, not to mention the legal papers and well... Let's just say I have my reason for disliking most of the legal system.

The door opened and the dirty blond, six year old entered followed closely by the receptionist.

"Max, you remember Jack and Isaac," she said in a sweet tone.

He looked confused until his eyes met mine and recognition swept his face.

"You're the funny one with the heaven cookies!" He exclaimed, remembering the cookies I brought last time.

I chuckled, "Yup, that's me."

"Max, Isaac and Jack are going to adopt you."

Max looked at her and then back at us in an excited yet astonished look.

"I get TWO daddies?!" He exclaimed.

"That's right," the receptionist nodded.

Max took no more time, he tore across the room and scrambled on my lap and hugged me.

I loved this feeling. Two little arms wrapped around my waist and a tiny face buried in my chest... It was heavenly.

I hugged him back. Max looked up at me with a gigantic grin, one to rival my long time companion's. He was so excited to be wanted, to be loved.

"Daddy?" He smiled. The word hit me and my emotions were in turmoil. I loved it!

"Yes, buddy?" I answered.

"Can I have a cookie?"

Jack and I started laughing.

"Yes, just as soon as we get home. How does that sound?"

Max's face brightened and he nodded. I stood up with him in my arms, he was so light! I need to fix that...

"You'll spoil his dinner," Jack scowled.

"Nonsense," I replied, Max definitely liked me now. "He's a growing boy, he'll be hungry by the time dinner comes."

"Touché."

"Now, if I could get one of you to sign some forms on the way out," the receptionist gestured.

I left it to Jack mainly because of the adorable boy in my arms, but partially because of the speed at which he could sign forms. Damn he was fast!

Before I made it to the door he was done. He pushed the door open for me and made way to his Chevy Impala.

We had a car seat prepared for our young boy and helped him in. I decided to sit next to our child and let Jack drive. It was a peaceful drive as we listened to Radio Disney. Max sang along with most of the songs and hummed to ones he didn't know the lyrics to.

I needed to introduce him to My Little Pony... Yup, it was happening.

"We should introduce Max to Matt," Jack suggested.

"Who's Matt?" Max stopped singing at the sound of a possible friend.

"He's our friends' son, he's about the same age as you," I explained.

He looked at me with pleading eyes, "Can I?"

I smiled, "Of course you can."

The knock on the door sent Max chasing after me to the door. I opened the dark slab and smiled to see my old friends. Their son was so big now!

Matthew hid behind Daniel's leg, wary of the new addition. Max stood unafraid of the timid boy.

"Is HE Matthew, daddy?" Max asked, pointing to the other little boy.

Daniel and Elliot chuckled at my son's outward personality.

"Yes, he is." I ruffled his hair and had to pull him away from the door to let them in.

Matthew refused to go anywhere near Max, who was a little more than flamboyant if I had to describe him. Despite Max's protests, I held him on my lap and told him that Matt was shy and was scared of new things.

"I'm not new, I'm six years old!" Max protested and the adults burst into laughter.

"Maybe a movie?" I suggested after I calmed down.

"My Little Pony!" Max cheered.

"You like that show?" Matthew asked timidly.

"Daddy watched it with me. Pinky Pie is my favorite." Max explained, not wasting a second to try and befriend him again.

"I like Rainbow Dash," Matthew smiled and I could tell that the friendship that started with My Little Pony had begun.

I led the kids to our spare room with a TV and put in MLP.

I walked out in time to see Jack coming into the house.

"Daniel! Elliot! What a pleasant surprise. Max and Matthew getting along?" Jack smiled.

"Settled and getting to know each other over My Little Pony," I said, entering the room.

The adults smiled and we slipped into a friendly conversation.

Max fell asleep on my lap not too long after Daniel and Elliot went home. He was so sweet.

I picked him up and laid him in his bed. The jungle themed room had taken two months to finally complete, seeing as it wasn't complete without Max. I kissed his forehead as he smiled at his dream and rolled over.

I softly closed the door and turned into a hug from my love. I put my head on his shoulder and smirked.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I want another one."

3: Kara

Jack POV

The night we brought Maxie home was one of the most wonderful nights of my life. He was so happy, and was beginning to open his heart. He adored the love of my life, as he should, and he liked my lap while we watched cartoons.

Isaac had said he wanted another, so I immediately began looking. Five year old, Kara was a soft spoken angel I had noticed while at the orphanage. She was fair skinned and dark haired, opposite of Max. She gave a sweet smile that just touched my heart.

Isaac had shown interest as well as Max. They had known each other since Max was first brought to the orphanage. Kara had been there most of her life.

I visited the facility often and got her background. Her mother was underage and a drug addict. Originally, Kara was a twin, but due to premature birth and the addiction to several illegal drugs, her sister, Kate, suffered complications and died in the NICU. Kara had struggled for months to become well enough to even go to the orphanage, after the grandparents refused custody.

Isaac and I were more than willing to have her join the family.

"Kara?" The receptionist said, touching the little girls shoulder. It had been around a year, and after all the paperwork, today was the day to bring her home. "This is Isaac and Jack, they're going to adopt you."

The shy girl's eyes lit up like a starry night that had been uncovered by a blanket of clouds. A bright smile crossed her face, a truly gorgeous little girl.

"Cookie daddy!" She giggled as she ran to Isaac. My lover had a certain way with children, they flocked to him. They loved being around him. They smiled and he smiled with them.

"That's me, munchkin," he smiled, tossing her up and catching her as she squealed with delight.

Isaac followed me to the desk to sign legal documents, and we left for home... Well, Daniel and Elliot's place, seeing as Max was with them.

We knocked on the door and Daniel opened, looking down at Kara, who was now hiding behind my legs.

"You must be Kara," he smiled kindly. Kara became interested and shifted slightly so more of her could be seen. "Do you want to see your big brother and my son, Matthew?"

I looked down to see her slightly nod her head, after some motivational nods from Isaac. She reached and grabbed my hand, a moment that made me realize, I was the father of a princess. I took a step in and led her to where the boys were playing a game.

"Kara?" Max asked.

Kara nodded.

Max dropped his toy and ran to grab her hand and bring her over to play. I knelt and put a hand on Max's shoulder.

"Now, I know you two already know each other from the orphanage, but from now on, you two are siblings, brother and sister." The two kids looked at each other. I knew they didn't care.

"I'm the big brother..." Max muttered with a small smirk. "Wanna be the princess?"

He looked directly at his new little sister, who nodded and chased after him.

They would be fine.

Matthew took a moment to stare at the newcomer, but eventually came to a positive conclusion of her and began playing. A new friendship was forming.

4: Family Night

Isaac POV

I was loving being a father, though I had a feeling that my mom had rubbed off on me more than I anticipated. Jack was the one who enforced discipline, whereas I was exactly like my mom. I made treats, spoiled dinners, spoiled my kids.

"Daddy?" A soft little voice came, I turned to see an adorable little Kara followed by her older brother, Max.

"What is it, kiddos?" I smiled. The two children looked at each other and ran and climbed on my lap.

Little Kara looked uncomfortable and Max looked more confused. I waited patiently for one of them to speak.

"Why do we have two dads?" Max eventually asked.

I raised my eyebrows.

"All the other kids at school talk about their moms and we can't," Kara explained.

"Well," I had to be careful with my words. "I have a mom, she's Nana."

"I like Nana, she's funny," Max was giggling at the thought of my mother.

I smiled, "And Papa has a mom, but he doesn't have a dad."

"No dad?" The two kids said as one.

"Yep," I nodded. It was a foreign concept to the sweet things not to have a dad. "Papa never knew his dad, but there's a wonderful thing in the world called love."

"Like loving pizza?" Max's mind immediately related to food, and I questioned if he wasn't really related to Jack.

I chuckled, "Kinda, tell me, can you refuse a piece of pizza?"

"No..." Max shook his head.

"Well, I love papa and papa loves me," I explained. "We can't refuse each other, so we stay together."

"Oh!" The kids seemed satisfied with the pizza analogy and hopped off my legs. They ran off to the playroom and continued with whatever it was they were doing.

I smiled and shook my head. I picked up my pastels and continued drawing my happy kids in Jack's arms. It was a wonderful moment that had been burned into my eyes months ago that I finally resigned myself to draw.

Max was a beautiful young boy with wavy locks of dirty blonde hair. His green eyes were similar to mine, only with a slight bit more of forest green. His sun kissed skin accented his hair perfectly and I knew he would be a handsome young man.

Kara was almost a polar opposite to her adoptive brother. Her hair was a luscious dark chocolate with soft chestnut eyes. Her pale skin was smooth and lightly powdered with rosy cheeks and lips. They were engulfed in their father's arms with his pale skin and white hair; his blue eyes were full of joy and absolute love as he hugged his children.

The door opened and I looked to see my tired lover entering the house. I smiled as he set his briefcase on the desk in the entryway and wandered over. He came behind the couch I was sitting on and I looked up to give him an upside down kiss.

The kids were not far behind the sound of the door.

"Papa!" They hollered and attacked his legs with hugs.

"Hello to you too!" He grunted as he lifted Kara for a hug.

"Daddy?" Max asked.

"Yes?" I responded.

"I want pizza..." He had the puppy dog look down. I was powerless to it.

"Well..." I smiled, setting my artwork down. "I need three people to help me decorate the pizza then."

"Me! Me! Me!" The kids raised a hand to be chosen.

I smiled and rose from my seat. I walked to the kitchen, holding Max's hand. I opened the fridge and let him gather ingredients as Jack did the same with Kara and the pantry.

We enjoyed the family time we spent making a mess... I mean... Making dinner. We played Pictionary Jr. as we waited for the deliciousness to cook. It was hilarious seeing Jack struggle. Kara and Max had already surpassed him in art, despite Kara being six and Max only a year older.

We all giggled at his terrible attempt at a cat.

"There is no way that is a cat.," I teased.

"Yes it is, look, it has whiskers!" Jack pointed at lines sticking off of what was supposed to be the animal's face.

"Those are whiskers?" Kara asked.

Jack blinked and looked at his drawing and laughed, "I'm hopeless huh?"

"Pretty much," I nodded.

"Daddy," Max looked at me. "It smells good."

The timer beeped and I jogged to save the pizza from burning.

I pulled out the golden crusted Italian dish and set it on the stove to cool. I turned off the heat and took off my mitts.

"We need to let it cool," I informed the eager kids, Jack included.

They frowned but didn't protest.

I smiled and ruffled their hair and sat down to finish my commission. Kara and Max plopped down next to me and stared at my interpretations of them. I finished the last section of Jack's sweater and signed the bottom.

I figured the pizza would be cool enough to eat by now, and went to cut it.

"If you want pizza, wash up and sit at the table." I instructed, the three other occupants rushing to as sink. I washed my hands in the kitchen sink and carried the pizza to the table and setting it.

They joined me and dug in. It was a typical night, peaceful and fun. I hoped life would stay like this for at least a few years.

5: Change

Isaac POV

Nine years later:

"Dad?" Max walked into the den with a concerned look.

I turned my head and returned his concern, "What is it, bud?"

"How did you find out you were gay?"

I made the mistake of sipping my coffee, and I choked. I coughed and Max rushed to pat my back.

I looked back up at him, but the earnest face he was giving me was hard to refuse.

I sighed, "I was never really attracted to girls. I first saw your dad while skiing and well..."

Max looked down, saddened.

"Max, I don't know how I found out, I can't even tell you the defining moment when I fell in love with your father," I explained, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Tell me why you're asking."

Max made faces as he searched for words. This was so unlike him.

"I noticed that when my friends were talking about girls they liked I couldn't come up with one..."

I sighed, not unusual.

"I don't find any of the girls attractive..."

"Maybe there's just not the right girl for you?"

"Dad... I caught myself thinking that Matthew had a nice ass."

I pressed my lips together.

"I know for a fact I don't think of him like that. I like the thought of him and Kara hooking up too much." Max continued, not noticing my reaction.

I was already dialing.

"Hello?" Came the voice that I wanted on the other side of the line.

"Daniel? Question for you," I began.

"Ask away," I could tell he was smiling at the challenge.

"How do you tell if your son is gay?"

There was silence on the other end.

"Are we talking Matthew or Max?"

"Max..."

Another pause.

"I can see it."

I blinked, I never had much of a gaydar, but Daniel's was spot on, every time.

"Care to enlighten me?"

"Well, statistically, children in a gay household tend to turn out bi or gay... And, he's way more concerned about his clothing than Matthew is."

"So? I'm more concerned about what I wear than Jack is..."

Max was intently listening for the verdict.

"And you wear the apron."

"And what about you?"

"If I had the resources, trust me I'd be a freaking fashion model."

"Fair enough..."

I looked at Max with a thoughtful look. The more I thought about it, the more I had to agree with Daniel.

"He's also been avoiding direct contact with Matthew lately, like he doesn't trust himself."

"I know about that."

"Can I know why?"

I paused to word it right.

"No."

"Awwwe," Daniel sighed.

Max was bouncing his leg.

"He's getting impatient," I smirked. "I should let you go."

"Alright, keep me updated."

I hung up my phone and sighed.

"You called Daniel, right?" Max confirmed.

"How-?" I began.

"His gaydar is better than yours..." Max pointed out.

I wanted to protest, but if would be an outright lie. I nodded.

"And?"

"He can see it."

Max nodded and slowly looked at me.

"What now?"

"Nothing," I said. "You're still Max Frost, you're still my son, you're still a great kid, you're still you. You don't have to act differently just because you like guys in preference to girls."

Max enveloped me in a hug. It was moments like this that made me realize just how much he had grown. He was fourteen and preparing for his fifteenth birthday. I had his birthday party planned out for months now, and he was already taller than me.

I reached up and patted his head, smiling.

"This will, however test your friendships, I must warn you."

"If they treat me differently, or stop hanging out with me, it's their loss."

I smiled at his optimism. He totally picked that up from me, Jack was the pessimist of the family.

"I think I should be the one to tell Matthew and Kara..." He sighed. As soon as his smile had left, it was back.

He left and I sat back in my chair and shook my head. A few minutes later, I heard squeals of joy coming from Kara's room, and I knew everything would be alright.

6: True Friends

Elliot POV

I sat at my desk, reading a book the Academy had given me when I graduated. It was a reprint of the tale of the four gods. It was a favorite of mine, and it was also the text my students were currently reading. I promised them that if they had to read something, I would read it too. My copy was filled with scribbles and questions, some from my first research project, others from my recent readings. I rubbed my forehead. I hated reading Greek and Latin, but I loved the story.

"And it would happen that the Death God befriended the Time God," I read, "and they journeyed across the land, searching for the weapons to kill the timeless."

It was always one of my favorite quotes. The friendship the myths portrayed was beautiful, right until the end. It was a friendship I wished I had. I would mention this to Daniel and he'd raise an eyebrow and asked about Isaac and Jack. They were friends, but only because Isaac wouldn't let go. We owed our friendship to him. And it was more of an individual friendship I longed for, like the one I used the have with Cassie and Nick and Mason.

Mason and Nick stopped talking to me a little way into my senior year. Cassie did her best to keep us together, and I know she did. I still got the occasional email from her talking about all the friends I use to have. They made me feel a bit empty inside. My closest friends were my husband, and our gay friends. I'm sounding like I was spoiled, but Daniel has friends outside of our...my little world.

It was my fault for not trying to keep the friendship going. I was the one who spent all of my time with Daniel, who ran off to college a month and a half early and rarely came home. I'm the one who disappeared from their life. My laptop turned on with a chime, revealing a photo of me with Matt and Daniel in front of the ocean. Daniel wanted to see the beach and we did.

I smiled and opened my email and searched for Cassie's messages. The last one sent was about five years ago, telling me that she and Nick finally were expecting a child. I never got an update on anything, but I kept waiting. Maybe Cassie was tired of trying to keep a dead relationship alive. If I had just made an effort to keep connected with the emails...

"Dad?"

I turned around. Matt, recently turned 15, stood at the threshold to my study. He had black hair, so unlike my own and Daniel's.

"What's up?"

"There are some people here to see you," he said.

"Do you know who they are?"

"If I did I would have told you their names," Matt rolled his eyes. "They said you're friends. I almost laughed, you and Papa don't have any friends."

"We have friends," I grumbled, standing. I messed with Matt's hair as I walked by. "Go make sure your homework is done. If you need help, I guess I'll be entertaining guests in the living room."

Matt walked towards his room and I went to the living room, praying that Matt had the common sense to invite my guests in. The people sitting in the living room looked up when I entered, and I froze. A set of green eyes and a set if blue eyes met mine. The woman with the bright blue eyes and blonde hair and stood up and walked over to me. The man on the couch stiffened, his salt and pepper hair slicked back.

"Elliot," the woman through her arms around my neck.

"Hi, Cassie," I choked out. "What are you doing here?"

She let go and smiled, "I'm sorry we burst in on you like this. I wanted to see you."

I smiled weakly, "It's really good to see you again, Cassie. Really sudden, actually. Let's sit, I think we have a lot to catch up with."

She sat down next to Nick. It was strange. Nick hadn't said a single word the few minutes they had been here. I could see his eyes carefully observing me, studying my actions. I guess Cassie had never gotten Nick to get over his small case of homophobia. I sat down on the love seat and smiled.

"It's been awhile," I smiled. "Haven't seen you guys since high school. How's life?"

"It's been good," Cassie answered swiftly. "Moved away after college. We got married about twenty years ago. We were still in college back then. Apartments were cheaper when we got married."

"Seventeen," Nick said softly.

"What was the wedding like?"

I admit it. I ignored Nick's comment. All he did was correct Cassie occasionally, but otherwise he kept quiet. Time passed quickly as Cassie and I kept talking. The grandfather clock I insisted on purchasing rang two o'clock. They had gotten here at about eleven, if I remembered right.

Matt knocked on the wall, "Max invited me over. Do we have dinner plans?"

I looked at Cassie and Nick, "Would you like dinner tonight? I can make something."

"We couldn't impose," Cassie smiled. "Besides, you can't cook."

"I insist," I smiled back, "and yes I can. Due to Matt, we had to learn how. I was thinking duck. We haven't had that in a while."

Matt chuckled, "I'll bring the spices home from Max's. What time is dinner?"

I looked at the clock. If it took about four hours for the duck, plus an hour for other miscellaneous preparations, "Seven, possible seven thirty if I our cabbage have gone bad."

"Okay," Matt walked over to the door and slid his shoes on. "Bye Dad, love you."

He walked out the door. Cassie's smile grew wide, "He's adorable."

"Don't let him hear you say that," I laughed. "He's a fifteen year old boy. They don't believe in being adorable. You remember how I was."

"That's because you had baby fat," Cassie stood. "What a remarkable boy you raised, Elliot. But we need to get going. My mom's had Lizzie a little too long."

"Lizzie?"

"Did I not send that email?" She gasped. "We had a baby girl! She turned five recently."

"Congrats!" I hugged her, "You two are probably great parents. Will she be coming to dinner tonight? Any allergies I should know about?"

"Elliot," Cassie laughed, "she's healthy and coming. Don't worry about it. If Matt, yeah that's his name, has eaten your food and survived, then we will too. We'll bring some drinks over here at seven thirty?"

"Exactly."

Cassie and Nick walked to the door. She thanked me multiple times for being me and I thanked her for stopping by. We had reconnected faster than I thought. She and I parted ways with a brief hug and she skipped out to her car. Nick stared at me, his green ice watching me.

"Elliot," he extended his hand.

"Nick," I took his hand. The handshake had a cold feeling to it, like the handshake of two competing business men. He nodded his head before joining Cassie in the car. I watched them drive away before shutting the door.

As it turned out, I just needed to get the duck and the spices from Isaac's. My mind wandered to thinking about Cassie's daughter. When did Matt start enjoying duck? He was raised with this, so perhaps Lizzie would enjoy it. I just needed to get it.

Thank the gods today was Saturday. Daniel had run back to the Academy to help a student with a project. He was always doing that, going to help people. He wouldn't be home until a little after five, plenty of time to help make dinner. Twenty minutes later, I had a duck on my counter, getting it ready for the spices. Matt would bring the spices over about a half an hour, or so his text message said. I left the duck and began preparing to prepare the side dishes.

"Elliot," Daniel's voice called out from where the garage door was. "Why do I smell food? I thought we agreed to make smaller meals."

"We're going to have guests," I yelled back.

Daniel walked into the kitchen, smiling. Age had yet to catch up on him like it had on me. There were no strands of gray in his mess of brown hair, and his eyes still sparkled. He looked around the kitchen, mildly confused as to who we would be entertaining.

"I didn't know we had any duck."

"We didn't," I opened the fridge and pulled out the cabbage. "Get this ready for me? I think I'm just going to get the spices instead of waiting on Matt. The sooner I get them, the sooner I can get my duck cooking."

Daniel looked at the cabbage in his hand. "I thought Isaac always made the sides when they came over."

"He does," I began scrubbing my hands. "We're not having them over."

Daniel stared at me. "Who the hell is coming over then? You don't know anybody, and my friends live awhile away and never come over."

I smiled, "It's a surprise, sweetie."

"That's a whole different reason to be scared," he laughed. "Go get your spices. I can handle preparing side dishes."

I kissed him before leaving the kitchen to get shoes. Once I got them on, I made my way to the Frost home. They were a five minute walk away, and I covered it in two. I was excited, but really, who could blame me. I knocked on the wooden door, bouncing anxiously. Isaac opened the door.

"You're oddly happy," he stated.

"I'm allowed to be happy," I smiled. "I was wondering if I could just get the spices now. I don't want to wait for my unreliable son to get me what I needed when I needed it."

Isaac just left and waved me inside, towards his kitchen. Honestly, I had always envied their kitchen. Daniel and I had never needed to cook, so when we were house hunting, we just got a small kitchen. Even when we got the new house once Matt came along, we were still experimenting with cooking and we never got a big kitchen. Isaac's was fantastic, though.

He dug through his spice rack before picking three containers and handing them to me. "I still don't understand why you just don't remodel your kitchen. You've got more than enough space."

"You know why we can't," I sighed.

Isaac raised an eyebrow, "A good team and have a plan on what you want to do, and the remodel would take a month. I'm sure Jack and Matt and maybe Max would be willing to help too."

"A month, Isaac."

"If you're not going to, I'm getting you a damn spice rack," Isaac growled. "Go make your duck and tell your friends hello for me."

"Thanks, Isaac," I rubbed his head before leaving the kitchen. I made a small detour to where I thought the boys would be. I was right, and I heard the tall-tale sound of explosions and laughter. They were in Max's room with the door shut. I knocked on the door and heard a muffled come in from the door. It swung open and I saw two boys sitting on a bed, angrily pressing buttons on a game controller.

"Dad?" Matt looked at me, "I didn't forget about the stuff I needed from Isaac."

"I know, I wanted them now. Be home in time for dinner."

"Okay, Dad," Matt rolled his eyes and he continued his video games.

I shut the door and left their home. By the time I got home, Daniel had gotten everything ready for me to throw in the pot to cook. I set the spices on the table and finished making my duck. It went into the oven and I set the timer. I grabbed a glass of water and walked into my office.

All the work I needed to prepare for my students sat on my desk. They really didn't need to take a test. If they didn't want to read mythology, then they shouldn't have taken mythology. Maybe they could draw a picture of the god Elion and the goddess Ma'la. It was a fairly simple assignment, but I enjoyed doing spontaneous things for my students.

"Hey Elliot?"

I looked up and saw Daniel, the phone held against his chest. He only ever did this when we got one of the calls. I took a sip of water.

"How long?"

"A week, maybe two," Daniel said.

"Let's get everything ready, then." I stood and shut the book on my desk. "When will they get here?"

"After nine, things aren't finalized yet," Daniel came over and hugged me. "Sorry if this cause any of your surprise dinner plans."

"It's out of our control, sweetie. We signed up for this. Text Matt, alright? If he shouldn't be here tonight, that is."

"Okay," he sighed, "we did have a say for this one. I just...have a connection with this."

"I understand," I rested my head on his, "I'll just explain the situation. I hope that they'll understand."

Daniel had set the table, six places instead of our usual three. Matt was coming for dinner, and Frost family offered a room for the night. He already had everything over at their house, just like how we had stuff for Max at our home. I tapped my leg impatiently, watching as time slipped farther away from 7:30. Cassie wouldn't have cancelled without letting me know somehow. I checked my phone again, waiting for them.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this anxious," Daniel said as he sat next to me on the couch.

"I was, a few times actually," I grabbed his hand. "When I was in my doctoral review, when we waited for the adoption to happen with Matt, other times."

"What other times?" Daniel asked softly.

The doorbell rang, and I shot up like a bullet. "Thank the gods for guests. Can you get Matt and the duck ready? We'll meet you in there."

Daniel rolled his eyes and left for the kitchen. I walked over to the door and opened it, revealing the family. Cassie and Nick stood behind a little girl with the biggest green eyes and long black curls that came from her mother.

"I'm glad you could make it," I smiled. I stepped out of the doorway.

"Gods, I'm sorry we're late," Cassie said brightly. "We were getting the drinks and then my sister called with a problem. Gods, too much effort for too short of time."

"It's fine," I lied. "Come on in, Daniel should be putting the duck on the table right now. If you want to follow me to the kitchen."

The small child gripped her father's hand and followed nervously after him. She looked around, shy and scared. I walked the family into the dining room, where Matt was finishing setting the duck in the center of the table. He looked up when we entered.

"So who are they?" He asked.

"Matthew, these are my friends from high school: Nick and Cassie Weaver. And this is their daughter."

"Elizabeth Weaver," the girl said quietly.

Matt's eyes widened, "You had friends?"

Cassie laughed. The girl was starting to loosen up around us. Nick was still standing awkwardly. Matt looked at me, and then at the bags Cassie was holding.

He walked over to Cassie, "Can I take those for you?"

"Sure," Cassie smiled. "What a nice young man."

He grabbed the bags and took them into the kitchen. A moment later he entered with a picture full if water and a bottle of wine. I swept over and plucked the bottle from his hand, "You're not even touching the wine, Matt. Too young."

"Dad," he whined, "seriously? I'm fifteen, I don't need wine. I'm completely fine with drinking water."

"Fine, then," I set the wine on the table. "Come and sit, I need to grab Daniel."

"No you- Cassie? Nick?" Daniel stared as he entered the dining room. "You're Elliot's mystery guests? Wait, who's the little one?"

Cassie ran over to Daniel and hugged him. I blinked, and I could tell that Daniel was overwhelmed by the sudden hug from a woman he hadn't seen in over twenty years. I held back a laugh as Cassie did that same thing she did when we were younger- a useless rambling of courtesies or something to that effect. It was then Daniel suggested dinner and we all sat to eat.

During dinner, it was Cassie and I spearheading the conversation. Daniel would chime in occasionally, laughing along with us as I picked at the duck. It was a little over done, but hey, it was beautifully spiced, so I was fine with it. Matt was talking to the little girl, making her laugh and smile. I took a small sip of wine, joking along and keeping an eye on the clock. Eventually, dinner died down and I brought out the brownies I put together earlier. It was about 8:15.

"So Cassie, what do you do for a living?" I asked, pushing the plate of brownies away from me.

"Social worker," she smiled. "That's actually how I discovered where you lived."

I raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

Cassie smiled, "I basically help kids during the in between foster homes. I do what I can to make sure what happened...in the past from happening again."

Daniel scoffed, "I heard that lie before."

"Don't talk to my wife like that," Nick growled.

"I'm not saying anything against her personally," Daniel twirled the wine in his cup, "I'm just saying that social workers always want to see the best in bad situations. I'm just saying they're not always acting in the best interest of the child their assigned to."

"Shut up, Daniel," Nick yelled. "I told you to not talk to my wife like that!"

"Matt," I said calmly. Cassie had gone pale, and I knew this wasn't going to end well, "I need you take Lizzie to the guest bedroom. Try to not make too big of a mess, we are still expecting someone."

Matt nodded and took the younger girl away from the table. He understood the situation, or at least I hoped he did. Matt was definitely a mature young man, and had gotten used to our taking in of others. He trusted that his parents would do something right. Cassie's eyes gave me a glance of thanks.

"Again, not her personally," Daniel rolled his eyes. "I'm just someone who experienced the foster care system and got betrayed by my social worker who told me the exact same thing. Why do you think I fled out of the system as fast as I could?"

"Just because your social worker betrayed you doesn't mean Cassie will," Nick stood and yelled.

"Nick," Cassie whimpered.

"I got lost in the system, Nicholas," Daniel stood, but he kept his voice cold. "I met my social worker twice in the twelve years I was in there. I want Cassie to succeed, but I have very little faith in the system."

I looked at the clock-8:20. "Cassie, I guess that you have been sending some of the kids over here, haven't you?"

"Yes," Cassie sighed. "I tried to specialize in helping with cases like Daniel's because I know how catastrophic the events are. Looking back, social workers should have gotten you out far sooner."

"Look," I stood and began to gather the dishes. "Cassie, I'm really proud of you, and I'm really glad we reconnected, but we have a young man coming to stay with us for a few days. I don't know why he's coming, but I will give him a peaceful environment. I will have calm and compassionate home for this boy. Cassie, please, I love you, but it's time for you to go."

Cassie nodded, "I understand. Thank you for dinner. I really did enjoy it. I'm going to go get Lizzie."

I handed the dishes to Daniel, "Set these in the kitchen and go get Matt. I think I need a moment alone with Nick."

"Don't do anything stupid," he kissed my cheek and left me in the dining room with Nick.

"I'm sorry if Daniel said something he shouldn't. His filter doesn't seem to work as well as everyone else's. I really think that all he was trying to do was get Cassie to acknowledge the kids' perspective."

"I don't care if you apologize, I want him to," Nick shook his head. "I told her coming to meet the fags was a bad idea."

I froze. "Twenty-one years ago you were fine with having a gay friend. Twenty years ago that changed. I had hoped that time would have had us both grow out of it. But no, somehow back then, whatever turned you homophobic just got worse. I think you should leave."

Nick glared at me, "I was planning to."

He turned around and left me standing alone in the kitchen. Daniel was getting Matthew to leave for the night and Cassie was getting Lizzie. Which meant they were in the same room. And there was no one screaming. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know if they were making things worse or if they had made up. Matt walked into the dining room, a small bag over his shoulder. He gave me a brief hug.

"Sorry for tonight, Dad."

"It's fine, Matt, not your fault. It might be a good time to go to the Frost's. Either Papa or me will call if things go well."

He nodded, "Love ya."

"Love you too."

With that said, he went to make his way outside through the garage and I went to go and find Daniel. He was standing in the guest bedroom across from Cassie and Lizzie. I really was worried that something was wrong, until I saw Cassie hug him. I paused outside the room, listening.

"I said what I said because you have the potential to be the best social worker I've ever seen."

"Really?"

"Course," Daniel smiled, and breaking the hug. "You're kind and compassionate. I can see how you can help everyone, but some people you help will share my opinion, and you have to make them like you. You can, of course. You're an amazing woman, Cassie. You can do whatever you want."

"Thanks, Daniel," it sounded like she had been crying, "That means a lot coming from you."

"Go save some kids for me," Daniel grinned, "Give them what they deserve."

Cassie grabbed Lizzie's hand and pulled her from the room. She ran into me as she turned the corner. "Oh, hi Elliot."

"Cassie," I smiled sadly, "Sorry about dinner. I didn't expect that to happen."

"I'm glad it did," Cassie admitted. "Daniel is someone I needed to talk to. He knows the experience."

"He does," I said, thinking.

We walked down the hall towards the front door. Cassie and Lizzie reached the door and got their shoes back on. Cassie looked at me, "It's a really great thing you've got here. You've got a great family and a helpful spirit. Keep in touch, alright?"

"I'll be better this time," I opened the door and stood at to the side of it. "Goodbye. Have a good time while you're in town. Why are you in town?"

"I'll email you later," Cassie and Lizzie walked down the walk to the driveway.

On the way out, Nick shot me a glare. I grabbed his elbow and squeezed. "Stay away from my family, you homophobic prick. Cassie deserves more than this."

Nick pulled away from me, "You left all of your friends, Elliot. I understood Daniel, we were friends. But I don't understand why you left us for the damn underclassmen. Their lives didn't concern you."

I stood up straight, "They were because they were lost and hurt. So sue me because I wasn't going to let them. I'm glad you liked Daniel and that you were there when he went missing. But Isaac and Jack needed my, our help. I shouldn't have to explain myself to you. Now get the hell off my property."

Nick was going to say something as his face turned bright red. He straightened his shirt and his face turned into a cold expression. He walked away from the house and got into the car. I had so much faith in him that he would be able to see past his fear. It was a shame that he wasn't.

I went back to the kitchen and began to clean the dishes. So tonight wasn't as big as a disaster as it could have been. It wasn't as good as it should have been, but this was why I shouldn't have friends bit doesn't seem to end well for me. I was glad I found Daniel and the Frost's and Matt.

"The boy who is coming tonight, I need you to know why I offered our home."

"Do I finally get to here where he came from so I can discover what not to say?" I asked, setting a dish on a rack.

"He's fourteen," Daniel sighed, "and was raped by one of the sons in the foster family. The brother is seventeen, which is why we needed Matt gone tonight."

I sighed, wiping the dishes, "Do we want to introduce him to Matt?"

"We'll mention we have a son. That might be the best chance for him to have control. If not, I think Isaac and Jack would understand."

7: Children Talk

Kara POV

When there was a knock at the door, I beat Max to the punch. I was doing homework at the table when the resonate sound echoed. I opened the door to the tall, perma-tan best friend of my big brother.

"Matthew?" I wasn't told he was spending the night... Yet again, when am I ever?

"Hi, Kara," his sweet, deep voice.

"Matt! Come on in, I've got the futon set up in my room," Max motioned and I moved out of the way.

"Hey, can we talk?" Matthew asked. "All of us?"

I was often included when Matthew was over, but it was strange of him to request it. I nodded and quickly gathered my homework. I would never hear the end of it if I left it out.

I wandered into Max's room not long after and shut the door behind me. Max's room was covered in his own artwork and soccer posters, the kid was a complete contradiction of himself. He loved art, but didn't show it, and he played soccer because it was enjoyable.

"So, what's up?" Max asked settling onto his bed.

Matthew sat on the extra bed/ couch papa had gotten when Matthew started staying over more and more often. I, personally, folded into Max's computer chair.

"Elliot," Max and I shared a concerned look. He rarely, if ever, called his parents by name. "He had high school friends come over for dinner. My dad doesn't have friends beyond your family."

"Did they have a falling out?" Max asked.

"From the yelling I heard, yeah, and a pretty bad one. It was like the guy was a homophobic." Max cringed at that. He had come out of the closet last year and constantly fought a one man crusade in school.

"Then why would your dad invite them to dinner?"

"Maybe he was hoping that his friend had changed?" I offered.

Matthew shrugged.

"I mean, coming from someone with very few friends, you have to hold on to the one's you've got."

Matthew looked at me with strange eyes. It was as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't bring himself to say it.

"They sent me into the spare room..." Matthew admitted and both Max and I cringed. Unless you were a guest, you didn't go in there. The room was nice, but it just wasn't used. A lot of messed up kids stayed there, it was their way of helping out. Our parents didn't do that mainly because they didn't trust the system with me... I'm a little fragile in their mind.

"Harsh," Max winced.

"I mean the social worker, I think her name was Cassie or something of the like, was civil enough, but her husband..." He left the rest to the imagination. "And you know how Daniel is with the system."

I buried my face in my hands, trying to get the image out of my head. That couldn't have ended well.

"Count yourself lucky you were sent to the spare room then." Max popped his knuckles, it was a nervous habit he had picked up.

I yawned.

"Sorry," Matthew looked genuinely apologetic. "You should be in bed by now."

"I can stay up." I tried to protest.

"No, go to bed, we can talk more in the morning."

8: Coping

Daniel POV

We were talking on the couch when the knock on the door came. Elliot and I got up, exchanging glances. We would meet the boy's social worker Monday morning, after this guardian had him dropped him off here. I decided that I would meet him first, and then introduce him to Elliot. He kissed my cheek before going into the kitchen. I braced myself and opened the door.

"Mr. James-Erikson?" A woman with short red hair looked up at me. "My name is Amanda Carter, and this is Cody."

A young kid with the deepest black hair and shimmering blue eyes looked fearfully up at me. When I talked to the court person in the phone, they told me this was recent, that he would be scared. He definitely was young and scared.

I smiled, "Daniel, My name is Daniel. Hi Cody. Miss Carter, would you like to come in?"

She nodded, "Yes, thank you."

Cody seems to follow after her like a wounded animal, and it made my heart hurt. He was hurt terribly, and he didn't deserve it. None of us truly deserved what had happened to us. I wondered if he knew what happened to me, or why he was here.

"Is the other Mr. James-Erikson home tonight?" Miss Carter asked me when she and Cody sat down on the couch.

"They're gay?" Cody asked softly.

"They are," Miss Carter replied at the same tone. "They are one of the most caring homes. It's just a temporary home while everything works over. Is this going to be a problem?"

"No," Cody sank into the couch. "Is his husband here?"

"Partner," I corrected out of habit. "We're partners. We never saw the point in a marriage in a state thy grants the same rights to domestic partners as to spouses. But yes, he's somewhere around here. Would you like to meet him as well?"

Cody nodded, "Yes."

I stood up slowly and went over to the kitchen. Elliot was drying some of the dishes. He looked up when he heard me enter. "What's up, sweetie?"

"Cody wants to meet you," I smiled. "Be careful, though. I haven't figured out his trigger, and I really don't want to."

"I know the drill, Daniel." Elliot grabbed my hand and we walked into the living room. For a second I thought Cody was overwhelmed and terrified because he sunk into the couch even more. Elliot and I exchanged glances and sat down.

"Cody, this is Elliot," I tried to see his face and gauge a reaction. "Elliot, this is Cody and Miss Amanda Carter."

"Hello, Cody," Elliot said brightly. "It's a pleasure to have you both in our home. Would either of you like something to drink?"

"Could I have some water?" Cody asked softly.

I stood, "I'll get it. Any other takers?"

They all shook their heads and I left for the kitchen again. I could hear a muffled conversation happening, but couldn't hear exactly what was being said. I wondered momentarily if Elliot was washing dishes so he wouldn't be tempted to listen in. I got two glasses of water and left the kitchen. Cody looked up as I entered. The blue eyes scanned the room, looking for signs of something to hurt him. I recognized the pain in his eyes. He took the water from me and clung close to his body.

"Is there anything else you need?" Elliot asked Miss Carter.

"His social worker should be here Monday morning," she stood. "I hope you're happy here Cody. These two are some of the best people I've ever met."

I'm pretty sure I blushed. Elliot smiled, "Thank you, Miss Carter. I hope we keep your opinions of us high."

"You have your phone, Cody. Call me or-"

"I know," he interrupted. "Thank you, Amanda."

She smiled, "You'll be fine, Cody. I'll see you soon."

Elliot escorted her out and they stood in the doorway for and talked in quiet voices. I looked over at Cody and his garbage bag in the corner. He kept looking around, pulling his arms close around him.

"Would you like to see your room?" I asked him.

Cody nodded. I stood and grabbed his stuff, and motioned for him to follow me. He stood and followed after me, keeping a good distance from me. It was sad, how he acted. My reaction to being raped was so different than his. I had Isaac and Jack and Elliot to keep me sane. Did Cody have anybody?

I opened the door to the bed room and stepped aside. Back when Elliot and I decided to become an in-between house, we used neutral colors of off white, with random splotches of gold and blue and red. The bed itself was stained wood with golden sheets. We did try to keep things normal. Cody walked into the room, looking around carefully.

"There's a bathroom across the hallway and the kitchen is down the hall, second door on your left. Mine and Elliot's room are down the hall the other way, last room on the right. If you need anything, please come and get us."

"Thank you," Cody whispered and sat down on the bed.

"Rest well, Cody," I smiled and slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind me.

I was exhausted, both from our fascinating dinner party and from speaking to a young woman about the study of kidnappings through history. It was a fascinating subject that she was studying. That wasn't my best subject of study, being a historian specializing in religion, but I did have a special insight into kidnapping.

Elliot was already in the bedroom when I walked in. He looked up, sliding a shirt over his head.

"How is he?"

"Terrified," I shrugged. I slid my shirt off and dug through my clothes. "But I guessed he would be like that. You remember how I acted when I remembered. You were there when Isaac told us. I can only imagine the hurt he is in, going at it alone."

"Speaking of you," Elliot walked over to me. He kissed the back of my neck, "This isn't going to affect you, is it?"

I pulled my shirt on and began to change into sweats. "I don't know. It's been awhile since I've had anything major happen. I think I'll be fine."

"What time should we be up?" Elliot asked as we crawled into bed. "I'm thinking cereal."

"Funny," I muttered. "I was thinking bacon. And eggs, now that I'm thinking about it."

"Shut up, sweetie," Elliot whispered, pulling the duvet up to his chest. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me right next to him. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes, drifting to sleep.

I sat up and I couldn't breathe. I wheezed for a moment, trying to get my bearings. The nightmare replayed in my mind. I was worried for just a moment that I was back in the cabin, tied up to the wall. I felt Elliot stir underneath me, and I kissed his forehead, before sliding out of the bed. I needed hot chocolate, my comfort drink.

Three minutes later, I was stirring hazelnut chocolate mix into boiling water. Why did I have the nightmare now? The rich smell drifted out of the cup, and I inhaled deeply. Chocolate was always a good for the exhausted mind. What time was it anyway? I glanced at the clock. 3:00 AM, good to know. The chocolate burned as it went down my throat.

A startled yelp got my attention. I looked up and saw Cody walk into the kitchen. He paled when he saw me sitting there. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt that was a far too big for him, and the same went for the mismatched shorts that sagged low on him. He folded his arms in front of him.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked. He nodded. "Sit down, I'll make you some hot chocolate. It's my calm down drink."

Cody slowly moved into a chair across the table from me. I stood and grabbed a mug from a cabinet. The water pot needed to be warmed up, so I set it on the oven.

"Bad dream?"

"The worst," Cody whimpered.

"I know," I sighed. "Remembering the weight of someone on you, how defenseless you felt as someone took something from you that should never be taken from you like that. It shouldn't be taken, only given. Then in the nightmares you remember all the pain, and how disgusted you were afterwards."

The pot began to steam and I poured the water into the mug. I added the mix and stirred it up. Cody accepted it, and held it in his hands. He looked at me, his eyes wide.

"It happened to you?"

"It did," I sipped on the hot chocolate. "My foster parents. They took me from Elliot. For a month, they kept me locked up. Luckily, I was only violated that one time."

Cody and I sat in silence, drinking the hot chocolate. There was something Cody wanted to say, but I couldn't tell what it was. I usually had a good tea of people, but Cody was just fear. This wasn't right.

"I've always found that talking about nightmares helps them go away," I suggested. "Or just getting your mind off of everything."

Cody stared at the cup, "Is it just you and your partner here?"

"No, actually. We adopted a baby fifteen years ago, a little boy named Matthew. He's staying at a friend's tonight," I answered. "Really nice kid, if I do say so myself."

"What's he like?" Cody asked quietly.

"He's permanently tan," I tapped the table, "which is weird because he spends a lot of time in the house writing his novels. He has really brown eyes, like your hot chocolate. Matt does his best to see the good in everybody. We've raised him to be accepting and give people the benefit of the doubt. That's probably going to be his flaw one day."

"He writes books? What kinds?" I asked.

"My son's a dreamer," I smiled. "He writes about magic and mystery and love. I think he has a crush on the daughter of our family friends."

Cody's shoulders fell. He yawned, his eyes dropping. I wondered what he was thinking as I described my son. I reached across the table I touched his hand. He jolted up, startled

"I didn't mean to scare you," I smiled. "But it's the early hours of the morning. Head back to sleep. If you want, we can talk tomorrow."

He stood and rubbed his eyes. "Thanks for the hot chocolate."

"Goodnight, Cody."

"Night."

He walked out of the room, leaving me alone in the kitchen with my thoughts. I washed the two hot chocolate mugs and set them out to dry. It was my bed time now too. Elliot was zoned when I climbed back into bed. Warmth from Elliot drifted off of me and I fell asleep.

"How's it going?" Isaac's voice came over the phone.

"Oh, you know," I sat back at the table, watching Elliot make the eggs and bacon he promised me, "he's like us, except his nightmares are a lot more frequent. We talked last night when we both couldn't sleep. He seems like a good kid."

There was some jostling on the other end, "Matt says hi and wants to know when he can come home."

"Give me about twenty minutes when he wakes up. I think he might want to meet Matt. We did talk about him last night."

"Alright, bye Daniel."

"Bye Isaac," I set the phone down on the table.

Elliot looked over from the oven, the smell of cooking bacon drifting through the house. "You had a nightmare?"

"Wasn't that bad," I lied. "I was only up for ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Cody was there too."

"I gathered," Elliot muttered as he motioned to the cups I left to dry.

Cody slunk slowly into the kitchen. Elliot looked up and smiled. He wasn't going to say anything, but wait for Cody to say something first. I grabbed my coffee and took a sip. Cody took the chair where he sat the night before. He stared at the table. This was weird.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked.

"Can I have some water?" Cody wasn't as open as he was late last night. I wondered what that meant for him.

Elliot set the water on the table in front of him, "Are you okay with scrambled eggs and bacon?"

He nodded slightly, "Thank you, Elliot."

Elliot grinned, and went back to cooking our breakfast. I kept drinking my coffee in silence. Eventually, Cody looked over at me.

"Is your son going to be here today?"

"Only if you want to meet him," I responded softly.

"Can I?"

"Of course, I have to call him, though." I picked up the phone and called the Frost family.

"That was fast," Isaac commented when he picked up the phone.

"Hi Isaac," I rolled my eyes. "Can I speak with Matt?"

"Give me a sec," Isaac set the phone down on his side and I heard him call for my son. I heard laughter and the sound of something breaking. The destruction of property that happened at the Frost home always amazed me. It was also why I never had sleep overs with the kids at my home.

"Papa?" Matt's voice came over the phone.

"Have you eaten already?" I watched Elliot scramble the eggs.

"Not yet." Matt said quickly. "Isaac was making crêpes. Why? Do I get to come home?"

"For the moment. Hurry home, Dad's making scrambled eggs and bacon."

"I'll be there in two minutes," I heard the phone click off.

To be here in two minutes, Matt was going to run. He had my joy of running, and more and more he was passing me in our runs. Damn, I was getting old.

I set the phone down, "Matt said two minutes."

"He'd be setting a personal record," Elliot muttered. "I say two and a half."

"He's getting faster," I replied. "He can make it. He's starting to beat me."

"You're also getting old, sweetie," Elliot giggled.

"I'm still younger than you," I got up and kissed his cheek.

Cody coughed uncomfortably. I laughed and grabbed my coffee. It was nearly empty. I poured more in and leaned against the counter. "Sorry Cody, we're kind of fond of small displays of love."

"SDL?" Elliot rolled his eyes. "I'm more of a fan of PDA."

"You just like freaking people out," I looked at Cody, who was sinking in his seat. We were probably terrifying him. "I really do apologize for his behavior. He forced me out of the closet in an apology. Don't regret it, but that's who he is. Do you have any questions for us?"

Cody kept staring at his plate. "Why is your house so big?"

Elliot answered this as he sprinkled cheese over the eggs. "Back when we were in our early twenties, we both were researchers in a study about common mythologies and finding the most pure of them. Turns out that made our names basically famous, and we get a small royalty whenever someone uses or references our paper."

"We put most of it in a fund for an adoption," I took over. "Back then we were in this little apartment. Now the money is going into a college fund for Matt or our rainy day account."

Cody bit his lip, "Do you work?"

Elliot nodded, "I work at the local high school as a mythology and history teacher."

"I'm a consultant for student papers. Really bad pay for such a fun job," I added the last part under my breath. It was a really fun job, just I had to travel away to do it. Luckily, not many students knew about me. I was unlisted, per my agreement. I didn't want every social work, law, and history major degree student coming at me.

"Papa, Dad," we heard the garage door swing open and slam with a finality, "where's the bacon?"

Matt walked into the kitchen. I watched Cody carefully. I couldn't tell exactly what was happening in his head, but it seemed kind of sad. More bittersweet than sad, but it was strange to watch. Matt was accustomed to have kids watch him wearily, so he just smiled.

"I'm Matthew, but everyone calls me Matt," he extended his hand. Cody flinched. Matt pulled his hand back and rubbed the back of his head. "Right, when's the food going to be ready?"

"About," Elliot drew out the word as he pulled four plates from a cabinet, "now. Come and get it, gentleman."

I blinked and the next thing I knew Matt and Elliot were piling food on their plates. Like father like son, I thought. "Cody, come on. Let's eat."

He stood stiffly, and walked over to the oven. He grabbed a plate and put a small pile of eggs on it with a single slice of bacon. It was like he was being cautious around my small family. Elliot overestimated how much we could eat, and there was still half a pan of eggs and a heart attack worth of bacon. I took some and walked back over to the table. Matt sat next to Cody. I had to take a step back. They looked like brothers, with matching black hair and smiles.

Wait, Cody was smiling?

Matt said something softly to Cody and his eyes widened with his smile. Matt was good for Cody. In the brief minutes that they've known each other, Matt changed Cody. The young foster boy didn't say much, only smile and play along. I guess all Cody needed was someone his own age, someone he could trust. Elliot set his hand on my lap and smiled.

Breakfast went by smoothly, with Matt cracking jokes and Cody smiling. I was glad my son seemed to have picked up my fantastic sense of humor. It was a gift I thought would be a great thing to have. Matt apparently agreed with me.

"Matt, will you do the dishes?" Elliot asked.

"But Dad, I don't want to," Matt whined. "Papa."

I raised my hands, "Sorry."

"Why are you on his side?" He folded his arms.

"Because I am," I handed him my dishes. "Get started, and we can play a board game or something."

Matt glared at me and grabbed my plate. He grabbed Cody's plate and went to the sink.

I rolled my eyes, "I don't know where he picked his stubbornness up. Cody, would you like an actual tour?"

He nodded, "If it's okay."

"Come on," I waved for Cody to follow me. "Do you want to start upstairs or downstairs?"

"Upstairs."

"Elliot and I have a little too much money," I sighed. "And when we built this house, we designed it ourselves. Thus the question: do you want to take the main staircase, the back one, or the secret passage?"

"You built a secret passage?"

"All throughout the house," I admitted. "I think you might want to discover them, Cody. It's a lot of fun. We have stairways going from the basement up and from the a room into a secret room. We may have had a little too much fun spending our money. Let's go up the main staircase and we'll go down the back."

Cody seemed a little floored by what we decided to model the main staircase off of. It was a large staircase we once saw as we traveled. Elliot was a fan of the theatre, so we built a large staircase based on the stairways in a theatre. We climbed the staircase and reached a long hallway with a large wooden door sitting in front of us. "Open it."

Cody pushed the door open, and gasped. He walked in and spun around. I didn't initially peg him as one who would love this, but I was wrong, and gratefully slow.

"What?" Cody breathed.

"Welcome to our library," I smiled. "Elliot and I grew up not having many books to read and rare opportunities to visit a library. So, we made one. This is where Matt writes, and does most of his homework. Or at least stares at his homework."

I heard Cody laugh quietly and look around the large room. I was proud of this room, more proud than anything else in this house. Despite Elliot's protest, I made our library based on the library from /Beauty and the Beast/. It was a beautiful thing, my library. It was mine, and Elliot's, actually, but I used it more. Matt was the only one who used it more.

"There's more," I said softly. "Come on."

Cody left the library, "Okay."

We walked down the hallway. I nodded to a door marked with a poster of some band I hadn't heard of before. "This is Matt's room. He basically lives up on the top floor, coming down only to eat and watch television. The rest of the floor is a series of rooms somehow we were convinced we needed, if only to keep adding rooms for secret passages. You've seen the ground floor, so do you want to see the basement?"

"What else could you possibly have?"

"I mentioned television, right?"

"Yes."

"You'll see," I smiled.

The back staircase wasn't as sophisticated, but a normal staircase, covered in carpet. I followed it down to the basement. It wasn't as nicely designed as the upper levels, but it worked. There were only two rooms in the basement, but the walls hold secrets.

"Pick a room."

Cody walked through the space, drifting to the door on my right. I nodded when he looked back at me, giving him permission to look inside. "Welcome to the James-Erikson gym, complete with standard work out equipment. I prefer running outside, but this is a good place during the winter."

"You have money because you worked on something? Did they just give you millions?"

"Nope," I said brightly. "It's more like each researcher gets a small bit of money whenever the paper is used. If it references specific researchers-don't ask me how they know-they get a much larger portion of the money. Elliot is the leading historian on the mythology of the Four Gods. So he gets a few dollars every once and awhile. Want to see the other room?"

Cody nodded and walked across the hall. I opened the door to reveal a room with six recliners in it with a state of the art sound system and a projector. This was Elliot's room idea. I looked and saw that Matt had left a pile of movies and popcorn crumbs. I sighed, he'd never learn, would he?

"This is our movie room," I shrugged. "Pretty self-explanatory."

I always felt weird giving the tour of the house, like I was flaunting wealth. Elliot and I designed the outside of the home to appear modest. I still drove a car similar to the clunker Elliot did during college. So maybe this was where nearly all of our money was. We both had jobs and all checks from the research paper went into Matt's college fund. This was the most extreme we went. We tried to donate a lot of this, but it's how things go.

We didn't spoil Matt either. If he wanted a car, he knew needed to get half the money himself and pay for gas. If he kept his grades up, then we'd pay insurance. A lot of what he got was from us paying him thirty dollars a month for doing cleaning chores and other things. We tried to limit our extravagance beyond the house. A thought crossed my mind- Cody was the first foster child I showed the whole house to. They usually didn't stay long enough to move beyond the main floor, which Elliot purposely made look middle class.

"Feel free to explore the house," I stepped out of the room. "Everything's open, and if you can't work the television, yell for Matt. He's better at working it than Elliot or me."

"I'm going to the library," Cody said softly. "Is there a passage that leads there from here?"

I grinned, he had it figured it out.

9: New Friends

Cody POV

I spent the next few hours wandering around the library, grabbing a book and just staring at the cover before putting it back on the shelf. There were things everywhere, so many books that I didn't ever want to really read.

As good as everything was, what happened to me still hung heavily on my shoulders. I didn't want to accept what happened to me, but I knew I had to. Daniel told me over hot chocolate that he knew what happened to me, and that it happened to him too. Daniel knew what it was like to deal with the aftermath. If I could just tell him what was happening to me, then maybe I could-

No, I can't get attached to the family, I was only here temporarily. Amanda would take me away as soon as a permanent home was found. I didn't need to burden this family with my issues. They may be polite and friendly, but they were temporary.

"'Nothing good can stay'," I whispered. I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped away.

"Oh my gods, I'm sorry," Matt pulled his hand back. He had a sandwich in his hands. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I pulled my hands across my chest, retreating into my mind again. This morning, Matt was...amazing. I wanted to be his friend, I really did. But I didn't trust people who would only be in my life for a short time, despite how much I wanted to get to know them.

"I brought you lunch," Matt set the food on a table. "So Papa took you on the tour?"

I nodded, not wanting to speak. Speaking indicates a wish to fellowship, and I don't want that, not when I could be leaving in a week.

"Did he show you any of the passages?"

I shook my head.

"Figures," Matt muttered. "He gave me hints, though. I think it was Papa who wanted to build a fun home. Dad's too boring to do anything else. Don't tell him I said that."

Papa must be Daniel which made Dad Elliot. Good to know for future reference. Matt turned his attention to the books on the shelves. He stood on his toes and moved to grab a book from the top shelf. He grabbed it and pulled it down.

"Here," he grinned, shoving the book in my hands. "This is one of my favorites. Apparently, Papa met the author at a court hearing."

I raised an eyebrow. How does one do that? Smiling, I looked at the book in my hand. On the cover was a teenaged boy, dressed half in normal clothes and the other half was a white robe. Orange wings came out of his back. He was standing on a street, the ruby predawn light spreading across the cover.

"Recovering Grace by Luke Johnson," Matt said proudly. "It's about an angel that get his ass kicked out of Heaven because he didn't protect somebody. He teams up with the Devil until he meets a girl, and starts to question everything. Then he loses his memories and its fantastic."

"How did Daniel meet him?" I asked.

Matt looked surprised to see me ask a question. "The man who nearly killed Luke Johnson was Papa's foster dad, which led to finding his foster mom. Papa and Dad went to testify and they met him there."

I winced, knowing what happened to Daniel. I may not have known exactly what happened to him, but it did involve his foster parents. I wondered what happened to his foster parents after all was said and done. I ran my fingers along the spine of the book. It seemed interesting, if I ever wanted to read. I really wanted to get comfortable, just not here. Not in a temporary place.

"Okay," Matt said slowly, "you're way too far in your head. Kara an Max always say that if you live inside your head, you'll get bored. Come on, I want to show you something. Better yet, I want you to discover something."

I raised an eyebrow. Was he suggesting that there was something hidden in the library? I was pretty certain that he was. Did a secret passage or hidden room exist in the library?

"Check the books," Matt suggested, before walking towards the door, "and eat your lunch."

He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He was really friendly, like Daniel had said. But he missed the quiet humor that danced among his words. Matt also seemed I have this strength and confidence in himself to do whatever it is he needed to do. I clutched the book he gave me close against my chest. He was too kind. I really didn't want to look around the room, but he and Daniel had both piqued my interest. So, I began to explore.

Eating as I explored, I began to think about where I would hide a room. The library was built like layers, with a large window sitting high above me. If I were to put a room in here, I would put it under the levels, actually. Behind a bookshelf was far too easy. The paneling along the lower layer was decorated with small clocks, each set at twelve. I examined each one, looking for something that was out of place. Each clock was expertly designed, which was why I doubted myself when I found one marked with thirteen hours instead of twelve. I pushed on it gently and heard something click off to my right.

A small hole was open on the opposite side of the room. I walked over to the hole and crept inside. I found a light switch and flicked it on. It was a small reading room, complete with velvet lounge chairs and desk lamps. What would have completed the stereotype would have been a fireplace in the corner. And then I saw it, the fireplace in the corner.

I snuck out of the reading room and grabbed the book Matt handed me and the rest of my sandwich. The door to the reading room was still open and I went back in. I shut the door and began to read about angels.

I spent the remainder of the day and into the night reading. More than once I heard Matt walking through the library and call my name. I waited for him to come into the reading room, but he never did. I couldn't figure out why he didn't come in here. He told me there was a secret room in here, but no one came.

I made it halfway through the book before I set it down and yawned. I was utterly exhausted, whether because my mind was exhausted from reading or from my rocky night of sleep. I set the book down next to my chair and pulled my legs up to my chest. I didn't want to eat anything, and I was completely fine staying in this small room, safe from prying eyes and wandering hands. The door to the reading room swung open and Elliot walked in.

"Matt said you vanished from the library and you weren't in the secret room." Elliot shook his head, "I don't think he had ever figured out that there was a reading room. You doing okay?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"Are you hungry?"

"No, thank you," I said softly. It would be rude to not respond to a host.

"Our family friends invited us over to their home," Elliot explained. "They're gay too and have a son and a daughter. You're actually the same age of their daughter, Kara. Would you like to come with us? I heard rumor that there's going to be cake."

I fiddled with the chair. I didn't want to do anything. I really wanted to just go to bed and sleep. I wanted to return to the comfort that I knew. It wasn't possible, not since he came into my life. But there couldn't have been a problem with doing something away from the library. I just wished I could be peaceful and happy.

"You don't have to come," Elliot said quickly.

"I'll go," I muttered.

I got up carefully. I really didn't want to leave my little den, but maybe cake would be good. I kept my arms folded across my body and left the reading room. Elliot led me down the stairs and to the main exit. It was a warm spring evening, and it was going to be fine on the way there. Did I have to get in a car?

I started to breathe heavily, panic rising in my body. Anxiety was swimming through my mind. For a second, my knees buckled and I went down towards the floor. I felt someone catch me and lower me to the floor. Matt looked down on me.

"You okay?" He asked, worried.

I stood up and took a shaky breath in, "I'm fine."

Daniel walked in from the kitchen. He looked around for a brief moment before Elliot whispered a brief explanation into his ear. Daniel looked back between me and the door.

"You don't have to go, Cody," Daniel said softly. "It's a five minute walk, and if you don't want to leave the house, we understand."

Walk? I could deal with a walk, "I'll be fine."

Daniel eyed me cautiously, "Just let us know when you want to come back. Come on, Jack says Isaac made Bundt cake."

Matt's eyes widened, "I'll meet you there." He ran off, leaving me alone with his parents.

"Look both ways before running through traffic," Daniel yelled after him. He shook his head, "Nurture verse nature my ass. He gets that stubborn streak from you, Elliot."

They laughed before holding hands and walking out the door. I followed a short distance behind them, looking around in the beautiful twilight world. Not for the first time, I wished I had some artistic talent. If I did, I would have drawn this or at least taken a photo. But I didn't, so I couldn't. The street was full of large houses, each with perfectly cut grass. It seemed like a gated community, but I doubted it. Each house stood at least two stories tall, with the same white stone used as the outer layer. That must be a pain to clean.

Daniel and Elliot kept walking, swinging their hands back and forth. They talked in quiet tones, and the occasional laugh would explode from them. I wondered how Daniel could be happy when he had been hurt. People said it got better with time, but I doubted it. Seeing Daniel, though, made me question my doubts. Was I wrong? Could I find a reason to relax around people?

I crashed into Daniel and Elliot when they stopped in front of another house. It was much simpler than the other houses on the street. It had two floors, but it seemed calmer, less extravagant than the one I was staying in. But as I studied it, I could see signs of wealth in the windows.

"Jack and Isaac are really nice people," Elliot said to me. "Really mellow now a days. It's their kids that have gotten their energy. Max is older, a few weeks younger than Matt. Kara is fourteen. Both adopted into the wackiness of the Frost family."

Great, more kids my age.

Daniel smiled, "Everything's going to be fine Cody. They're nice. If you want to leave, just let us know."

I nodded again, and we went inside. I was right: the house oozed of wealth, but it was a quiet wealth. The couches and tables and grand piano were high quality. Daniel and Elliot led me into the kitchen. This was where they're money was. The kitchen was really remarkably nice, much more than Elliot's kitchen. Matt was talking to a girl in the corner of the giant kitchen. Up near the oven, a man with white hair and one with brown hair were arguing playfully.

"Fingers off the frosting," the brown haired one slapped away the hand of the white haired one. "If there are leftovers, you can have it."

The white haired one paused, "Promise?"

"Promise," I heard a smile in his voice. "Go entertain the guests, Jack. Let me finish the cake."

Jack nodded and left. He came over to Daniel and Elliot and noticed me, "Hey guys. Is this Cody."

I nodded. He offered his hand and I just stared at it. He seemed to take it fine, as he turned the failed handshake into a playful punch to Daniel's shoulder. "I like him, a man of little words. I'm Jack by the way, and the one making the cake is my husband Isaac."

"Hello," I muttered.

Jack smirked before launching into a conversation with Elliot. Daniel went and walked over to Isaac and they started to talk to each other. Matt and the girl walked over to me. Honestly, I was overwhelmed. Too many new people in a short amount of time. The girl had long black hair that showed off her pale skin. It was attractive, if I was straight. She wasn't wearing any make up but definitely had an inner radiance.

"Hey," she looked at the ground. "My name's Kara."

She was hesitant to do anything, and I'm glad she was. I liked that about her, "Cody."

"Wow," Matt whistled. "You got him to talk."

Kara punched him, "Shut up, Matt. Someone has to be nice and not overwhelming."

I did like her, especially when she shook her head in disgust and pushed him away. I was finally left alone, and released a breath I didn't know I was holding. I sat at the table, and watched the two families interact. The adults obviously had known each other for a long time. Matt and Kara interacted in a way that was some sad mix of lovers and siblings. Well, Matt was in love, even if he didn't realize it.

I felt really awkward, just sitting at the table. Matt was blushing, and I assumed it was something Kara said, or he was just being stupid. I didn't know him that well to judge, but it could happen both ways. I gently tapped the table when I saw Isaac and Daniel walk over to me.

"Hello Cody," Isaac said. He had a quiet intensity about him, something that reminded me of Daniel. "I'm Isaac."

"Hello."

Isaac and sat down next to me and Daniel stood slightly behind him. "I heard what you're going through and I want you to know that you're not alone. I know what it's like, I've been there too."

I looked at the two men who were staring at me. Their stares were uncomfortable and I shifted my gaze to the table. Isaac and Daniel exchanged glances before standing. I stood too, and walked away. Someone new entered the room.

He was taller than me, and I was 5'6". He looked flawless, his green eyes glistening in the dusk light. He had a handsome smirk. He looked around the room, his golden hair waving as he moved. I was mesmerized by him as he kept moving. Then his eyes focused on me, and I could have fainted. Until he ran at me, his arms extended. I panicked and stepped out of the way, pushing him to the ground.

There was a flurry of motion around me, with Daniel standing in front of me and the others grabbing the boy and dragging him to his feet. Daniel looked down at me.

"Sorry about Max, he doesn't quite understand what people who come to us go through. He's not shy, either."

So his name was Max. I shook my head of all thoughts of the handsome boy. If he was going to act like that, then I wanted nothing to do with it. The commotion died down and the family offered me apology after apology.

Needless to say, I didn't want any of the cake.

Daniel wanted to know if I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to ruin their night. They all ate their cake and I sat on a couch near their large piano. After the cake was eaten, Jack and Kara moved into the room I was in. The pair stood near the piano.

"Do you mind if we play?" Jack asked. I shook my head. "Kara learns by hearing it. I play a little more traditionally."

I didn't understand what he was saying, but I let it happen. Jack and Kara sat on the piano bench, and Jack began to play. It was very shaky and I winced as notes were played incorrectly and replayed. Kara tapped the piano, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Pops," Kara raised an eyebrow, "is this song too hard for you?"

"No, dear," Jack frowned. "It's just a little harder than I remember it being. Give me a few weeks and it will be fantastic."

I got up and looked at the paper on the piano. It was full of complicated strings of sticks and lines. I blinked, that was way too difficult to understand. Jack looked up at me.

"Have you ever played?"

I stared at him, "No."

Jack launched into a brief explanation of what notes meant what and what the little hashtags and b's were. He played me a scale, and as I heard the music I could hear the song come alive in my head. Or I was just imagining things- that was always a possibility. I had music going through my head all the time. Kara had gotten bored during the lecture and left. Later, Jack tried again to play, but kept messing up. He groaned and moved away from the piano.

"Really advanced music," Jack commented. He rolled his eyes and stood up. "Would you like to try?"

I nodded and sat on the bench. I didn't know that much, but I knew the basics of piano. The music just kind of seemed to be very simple, it just had a lot of weird symbols I had never seen before. I put my hands on the keys and started to play the notes I saw printed.

It started slowly at first, but my mind started to look forward at the sheet music and I heard the music happen in my head. Parts of it sounded funny as I played them, so I hit a different note instead. I lost myself in the music, waiting for chances to improve the music. My fingers danced along the keyboard. I hit the final cord and let it resonate. At some point, I discovered how to use the pedal. I let go of it and smiled.

"Jack, that was fantastic!" Daniel said, leading the rest of his family and Jack's family toward us. "Cody? Was that you?"

I nodded, "Yes."

Jack looked over my shoulder at the music. "I've played that song a lot, and it's never sounded that good. I had to teach him to read music. I was going to get one of the easy piano books and he just started playing. That was phenomenal, Cody."

"Thank you," I blushed.

All of the adults just watched me. There was a movement from behind them and sheet music fluttered to the ground. I picked it up and looked at it. Kindness, it was called. Fascinating title, I thought as I heard the music. Beautiful music, enchanting song. I set the sheet music up and began to play.

I barely made it thirty seconds before someone started to sing behind me. I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics until I reached what I thought was the chorus.

"You're kindness won't betray me, I feel your heart as soul. Your kindness still can save me, I choose to not let go. Reaching out you somehow reach me, I know this can't be wrong. I'm ready, won't you teach me your song of kindness?"

I missed a chord and froze. Max was standing right behind me, singing. His voice, his beautiful voice ringing in my ears. My hands fell away from the piano and I stared at the sheet music. Were there lyrics to this song, or was Max singing this to me? Or I was playing this to someone and I was the one crying out for kindness?

I took the music off of the piano and threw it on the ground. Max was a jerk and unkind. Why would he be there singing this for me? It's not like this was going to change anything was it? I could feel pressure building behind my chest. It wasn't a panic attack and it wasn't fear. I knew those emotions really well. I didn't recognize this one, not immediately. The pressure moved from my chest up towards my head. I buried my head in my hands and screamed in an attempt to release the pressure. With the scream came tears, and with that relief from the pressure that would destroy me.

"I'm sorry," Max whispered from behind.

Time passed and I kept weeping at the piano. I didn't know what was going on, but everything I was trying to avoid just kept coming at me. Faces, lights, pain, sorrow, everything was there. I screamed again, trying force the pain away from me. I just wanted this to stop. I wanted this to end. I screamed again, trying to get it out of me.

"Cody?" A voice dripped through my thoughts. I looked around, wiping the tears out of my eyes. Max was standing at the edge of the room. My arm was soaked. Gods, I can't believe I just broke down like that.

Max gently set his hand on my shoulder. I froze when he did that, but I relaxed and grabbed it. Max knelt down next to me and hugged me. I fought every instinct that told me to push him away. Then time stood still, and I felt calm, not scared. I rested on his shoulder and smiled.

Daniel POV

"I didn't see that coming," I sighed into my hot chocolate. We heard another scream and my gripped tightened. Cody kept pushing me away when I tried to get to him. Max refused to leave. He was convinced it was his fault. "I feel so bad for him."

Elliot rested his hand on mine, "It's going to be fine, eventually. I'm going to go check on him."

"We're coming too," Isaac said standing.

All four of us walked over to where Cody broke down. I looked in and saw a Max holding Cody against his chest. I stopped everyone and led them away from the two boys.

"Cody never let anyone touch him," I whispered into Elliot's ear. "He's opening up."

10: Cody

Max POV

Damn it he's cute. I know I shouldn't like him, considering the Reader's Digest version of his situation had been explained to me. I knew he had been scarred, taking into account the way I had been swiftly evaded on my first attempt to befriend him... I'm really glad I didn't break my face when I took a nose dive to the ground. Gravity and I should really have a talk.

Cody just had one of those... I-wanna-protect-you personas. I just wanted to hold him and love him and squeeze him and love him some more.

Cody would often come over with Matt. He liked to play the piano and was brilliant with his technique. He would often come and question Pops about theory and other such things.

I was in my room staring at my homework when a shy knock came.

"Kara? Can you get that?!" I called. No response. I grumbled as I tossed my pencil and went to get the door.

Dad was still out of town, pops was at work, and Kara was who knows where.

I opened the door to a terrified Cody. He wasn't with Matthew... Or Daniel or Elliot... Odd.

"Hey," I forced out.

"Hi," he squeaked.

"Ummm... Neither of my dads are here... But come on in," I gestured for him to enter, which he did.

He immediately sat in front of the piano and pointed at a question he had on a difficult piece I barely recognized as Beethoven.

"Do you know that this means?" He asked.

I walked closer and leaned toward the sheet music. I was genuinely concerned about how loud my heart was beating. I was worried he could hear it judging by how close we were.

"FP crescendo? Ummm, it means that you play loud then soft, almost like an accent, and then grow." I made an example with my voice, because I realized I was a much better singer than piano player.

Cody nodded and began playing the piece beautifully. I wandered to my room and brought my homework out. I sat on the couch and listened. I didn't realize I fell asleep until I felt a pleasant touch on my lips.

I blinked as I woke seeing Cody's face super close to mine. I looked down and saw his finger on my lips.

"You snore softly when you sleep with your mouth open," he stated.

I bit my lip and blushed slightly. I did not know that...

A small smile graced Cody's lips as he went back to the piano.

"So..." I tried to start a conversation.

"Isaac said that I was like him... What did he mean by that?" Cody asked suddenly.

I knew very little of what happened in dad's past, but I felt I owed him something somehow...

"Ummm... You can find most of it in old newspapers, honestly," I shrugged, but he kept staring at me with those melted chocolate eyes I could just dive in, eat and drown in. "Dad was taken by the Nearly Headless Nick Killer... He was gone for a few weeks, maybe a few months, I don't know. From what I can guess, he was repeatedly raped and beaten the entire time he was there."

Cody's eyes went wide.

"Dad doesn't talk about it, and I don't expect him to. It's a scar and a burden he'll always carry, and I personally would rather him continue with the beautiful life he's created for himself despite all his difficulties," I continued. "And I extend that to you as well."

I smiled softly and looked at him. There were tears in the corners of his eyes as he looked at me.

Cody stood and came over to the couch and sat next to me. He softly, and unsteadily embraced me in an awkward hug. I tentatively returned the hug and felt him relax into my hold.

"You okay?" I muttered after a while.

"Your shoulder is comfy..." Was Cody's only response.

I chuckled, he was really starting to relax around me and open up. I felt privileged.

Cody lifted his head.

"Do you really expect me to move on?" He asked.

"Not really..." I admitted. "There's always going to be a part that remembers. The closest I can parallel is the orphanage. I haven't been there in over twelve years... I can still remember every single stain on my thin sheet I was given, all because those years were Hell to me."

11: Family Matters

Cody POV

I sat in the room Daniel and Elliot provided for me and stared at the phone. My social worker called me and told me she had found me a permanent home, in a different city. I didn't want to go away from these people. Despite my best efforts, I had formed relationships with these people.

All of my belongings sat in a bag at the end of the bed. The only thing that wasn't there were the sheets of paper scattered along the bed. It was sheet music that I wrote myself. I had started writing the first part, a movement Jack explained when he showed me a multi-movement piece, after I broke down that first day. I had been working on the second movement when she called. Since that moment, I couldn't find the inspiration to finish the moment. I stacked all of the sheet music and held it close to my chest. Would this new home have a piano, or someone with musical knowledge?

Someone knocked on the door. I placed the music in the bag and opened the door. Matt stood on the other side, anxiously playing with his hands. His black hair fell over his eyes. He pushed it out of his eyes.

"I heard you're leaving."

So my social worker called Elliot and Daniel. It made sense, actually, but I didn't like it.

I nodded, "I am. My social worker is picking me up tomorrow."

"But you haven't discovered most of the passages yet," Matt smiled.

"I've found one you haven't," I gave him a smile, a sad smile. "So I've made good use of the time here."

"But there's so much more," Matt sighed.

We stood in the doorway in silence. I stood out of the doorway and let Matt in. He sat down on the bed and I sat down near my bag. I could feel Matt holding back emotions and I felt the same pressure I felt when I broke growing inside of me. Damn it, I was way too attached to these people.

"Why are you leaving?"

"This wasn't ever supposed to be a permanent place for anyone. Your parents are a temporary place to stay, I was never going to stay," I looked at my bag. "I'm going to miss this."

"But why do you have to leave? Can't you stay here, I mean Papa, Dad, and me like you. Max and Kara like you. Kara hasn't played any music but the ones you play."

And he didn't mention why Max wanted me to stay. I folded my arms and tried to hide what I was feeling. Tomorrow was Wednesday, Elliot would be at work and Matthew would be at school. I wasn't sure if Daniel would be working, but I hoped he would stay here to say goodbye. Goodbye, such a sad word full of pain. What was my life going to be like with the new foster parents?

"Kara will be fine," I closed my eyes. "She can look it up online."

"I'm trying to say I don't want you to go, no one want you to go."

"It's not up to me," I sighed. "It's up to Elliot and Daniel. They don't open their home to long term foster care. It's more for emergencies and sudden changes."

Matt stood up, "I'll see you at dinner."

Matt left the room and shut the door behind him. I blinked, trying to remove the pain in my chest. I didn't think I'd have to deal with losing friends. I had only been here two weeks but these people took me into their lives and I became friends with them. I might have even fallen in love with one of them.

Pictures of Max drifted through my mind. I groaned and buried my head in my hands. The phantom presence of his arms around me scared me. How had I fallen so far and so fast for a boy I just met. I didn't think he was gay either, but I wanted him here with me. I wanted him here to help me stay calm and collected. I wanted him to know how much I cared for him.

I pulled out my sheet music a pencil, trying to attempt writing the music that wasn't coming. I snapped the pencil and through it across the room. People always said to be wary of the madness of artists and I think I just proved a point. Part of me was tempted to shred the paper into a thousand pieces before setting it on fire. The other part of me wanted to give it to Jack and the Frost family and let them remember me by it. I shook my head, that would just end badly for the people who tried to help me. In the end I settled for shoving it back into my bag.

I pulled my legs into my chest and focused on my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Stay calm and don't let the emotions take you. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but Daniel's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Cody, it's time for dinner. Then the Frosts are coming over

I stood up shakily and opened the door. Daniel smiled and led me to the kitchen. It was a really small and nice meal, chicken noodle soup with dumplings. Elliot and Daniel spent the meal trying to make conversation. Matt just glared into his soup. I couldn't eat anything, just play with the soup. Daniel knew the situation seemed a little awkward, but he still tried to stay positive.

The doorbell rang and there was a collective sigh of relief. I don't think I had ever been so glad to have a cliché rescue me. Isaac and Jack walked into the kitchen carrying a cake, followed by Max and Kara. I made sure to keep me gaze away from Max. I didn't trust myself to talk to him, not when my heart would break. The adults made small talk quietly while Matt and Kara sat over the cake. Max kept trying to get me to acknowledge him, and I did everything I could not too. My heart was already breaking. I couldn't deal with actually breaking my heart.

"Say something, Cody," Max said softly. "I thought we were friends. I thought-"

"You thought wrong," I whispered angrily. We were crushes. "Leave me alone."

"I'm not going to."

"I know," I sighed. I left my spot at the table and threw the plate of uneaten cake next to the soup bowls.

"Cody," Max followed me as I tried to lose him. "I want a chance to say goodbye."

We ended up in hallway that I discovered had a passage into my reading room. I wanted to escape, but I couldn't. Max would follow me no matter where I went. It was time to face the music. I summoned all the courage I had and turned to face him. His usually bright green eyes were dull and lifeless. I could see pain in his eyes as I tried to read him. I just wanted him to go away.

A dark idea drifted through my thoughts. It could send him away, if I needed it too.

"Max," I walked closer to him.

"What?"

"The song I played for you that first day we met, how does it go?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"That's all I'm going to have of you to remember. A song I stopped," I choked back my emotions. "Sing it for me?"

"If you want," Max shifted uncomfortably and then opened his mouth to sing. "There's a chance that I could fall and not come back, and never regret a thing. I'd never get back on track. Darkness all around me and I can't find the light. I let it all surround me, giving up without a fight."

Max continued to song softy and I hummed the tune under my breath. This was going to be my last moment with him, and I was determined to remember every detail. I would never forget this.

"I promise to remember," Max sang quietly. "I promise to remember."

I still didn't like touching people, but Max wasn't people. He cared about me. He was someone I cared about and someone who cared about me. I didn't want to say goodbye, and this could make things worse, but it might make me feel better. I took a deep breath in and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me.

"Remember me," I cried into his shoulder. "Because I'll always remember you. I'll remember your voice, your laugh, your song, everything. Do you want to know why?"

"Yeah, I do Cody."

"I do," I laughed. I pulled Max closer to me. He and I just stood in the hallway, holding each other with me ugly crying. "I do. That's funny, Max. But the reason I'll remember you, is because I'm in love you, Max Frost."

I gently placed my lips against his. They were soft and warm and perfect. I could feel Max stiffen, shocked by the recent turn of events. I broke the kiss and smiled.

"Cody," Max breathed. "What?"

"I just needed to tell you," I wiped my tears. "Goodbye Max."

I turned and ran, leaving a confused Max in the hallway. Now he knew. Max knew what I was feeling and now would search the house. They wouldn't find me. I knew a hiding spot that wasn't a passage way, hidden from prying eyes and from confused teenagers. I said my goodbye to Max, and that would have to do.

Underneath the back staircase was an alcove that was home to a giant clock pedestal. Behind it was a place big enough for me to avoid being seen by anyone looking. I ran there and tried to relax. I took out my phone and turned it to silent. No ringtone would give me away. I also sent a text to Daniel to tell him that I was still in the house. I wasn't going to run away. That'd be stupid, even for me.

Over the next few hours, the two families wandered the James-Erikson mansion, calling my name. A few times my phone would flash with a text, occasionally with a phone call. I responded to all of them with the same message- im fine. leave me alone. go to sleep. ill miss you.

I stored a grand total of three numbers in my phone: Mrs. Weaver, Daniel, and Max. All the rest I assumed were the rest of the family. Max kept sending me messages that begged for my location because he wanted to talk. Tough luck, Max. My heart is going to be shattered in twenty-four hours. I wanted to enjoy the feeling of his lips against mine while I still could.

Time just kept passing and the sounds of the search just got quieter and quieter. I rested my head against the statue and held my phone against my chest. I said the goodbye I wanted to. Now Mrs. Weaver could come and take me away. Tomorrow, though, I would have to say something to Daniel. I sure as hell didn't want to say anything to him, not anymore. I wanted to go to sleep, but I couldn't. If I fell asleep and Daniel or Max or someone found me, then I'd have to answer them.

Minutes turned to hours and the night passed slowly. I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I couldn't fall asleep. Not if I wanted to avoid any awkward conversations. There would always be an awkward conversation, now that I thought about. Maybe a little bit of sleep wouldn't be too terribly bad for me.

I woke up from sort of a dazed sleep. I did not feel rested and capable of actually doing anything productive: like being nice to my foster family. Mrs. Weaver was going to pick me up at 9:30 for the five hour ride to the new home of mine. It was 8:30 now, an hour until my new life happened.

I looked horrible. My clothes were wrinkly and I had bags under my eyes. I yawned and stood up, leaning against the clock sculpture. It was probably time for me to at least change clothes. Or not, I wasn't in the mood to actually do anything productive.

"Cody."

I froze against the statue. Daniel knew where I was. How did he figure that out?

"I know you're back there," Daniel said. "I'm not going to make you come out of there, but we have breakfast. Your social worker is coming over soon, though."

"How did you know I was here?" I asked softly, stepping out of the alcove.

Daniel was wearing sweats and a loose shirt. He smiled weakly, his eyes soft. "I found you sleeping here last night. I figured you had found a hiding place that wasn't one of our passages. Matthew always hid in one of them. Do you want to talk about last night or?"

I shook my head, "No."

Daniel just nodded, "I understand. It's probably time for us to get ready for the day. You should try and make a good impression with your new family."

We walked towards the kitchen. Daniel walked around, placing two bowls on the sink. He grabbed cereal from the pantry.

"How many foster homes did you stay in?" I asked him as he grabbed the milk and sat at the table.

"I'm not the best example," Daniel chuckled. "My first foster home ended up with me being raped an kidnapped. They stuck me somewhere else, but the second I got there I ran. I stayed with Elliot's mom. I was a mommy's boy with a mom who wasn't even mine."

I smiled and poured the cereal. I swirled the cereal in my bowl, thinking. Daniel really did know what I was going through, even if he didn't actually know what was going on, even if I hadn't actually told anyone what was happening. I still didn't like to touch anybody, and Matt was the exception. I think he would always be that one exception.

We ate in silence. I kept replaying the events of last night and memories I'd rather forget. I hurt Max, I know I did. If I did ever see him again, I wasn't sure how he would react. Would he get mad at me, or would he forgive me? Or is it more like how I reacted to what happened to me?

"I'm going to shower," I announced, pushing the empty bowl away from me.

Daniel nodded, "Don't take too long. You have an important meeting in about a half an hour."

I nodded and left the kitchen. When I got to my room, I searched my bag for what I needed and walked into the bathroom. I stripped off my clothes and let the warm water cascade over me.

"The bitterness and pain inside, the countless tears I had to cry. I was facing all my fears just to let you in to dry my tears."

I shook my head, trying to shake Max's lyrics out of my head. I didn't want to forget him. I didn't want to live without this regret. I wanted to know how Max really felt about me. If he still respected me, if he maybe loves me back.

"Damn it, Cody," I whispered punching the wall of the shower.

I finished my shower and got ready quickly after that. Too much shower time meant too much time to think about stupid mistakes in my past. It wasn't worth it in the long run. I made it back to my room to see Daniel walking out, my bag in tow.

"She's here," he explained.

"Oh."

Daniel opened my bag and I put my dirty laundry in. He closed it again and walked towards the main entrance. I followed after him, staying close behind. I didn't want to leave. I liked it here. People understood me here on a level few other people did. People cared about me, and loved me. And I loved them in return.

"Cody," Mrs. Weaver smiled warmly when I entered the room, "it's good to see you again. I'm sorry I wasn't able to see you here the first time, I was at the courthouse. Thank you, Daniel, for getting him."

"We ran into each other, Cassie," Daniel sighed. "But he's here."

"Thank you for taking him in like this," Mrs. Weaver smiled brightly again. "With such short notice, you were the only people I could think off."

"Cassie, if you're here for small talk, I'll gladly comply." I could hear the silent rage in Daniel's voice. "But you're here to take Cody away from us, so do it quickly."

That stung. It wasn't supposed to hurt me, but attack Mrs. Weaver. Apparently, it worked. Mrs. Weaver straightened herself before adopting a cold glare. I really didn't want to spend five hours in a car with her, not after Daniel got through with her.

"Well then, Mr. James-Erikson," she grumbled, "if you'll hand Cody his belongings, we'll be on our way."

He made no move to give them to me, "I'll escort him out. After all, he is still my guest."

She glared at him before storming out the door. Daniel smiled cockily before heading out as well. I pulled my shoes on and followed him. Mrs. Weaver opened the trunk and then walked to the passenger side of the car. Daniel made a big show of putting something in my bag. I wondered what he put in there, but I was cut short as Mrs. Weaver coughed.

"Goodbye, Mr. James-Erikson," she growled.

He smirked, "See you, Cassie. Tell Nick I say hi."

She scoffed and walked around and into her seat, leaving Daniel and me alone. He offered me his hand, "It's been a pleasure having you around, Cody. If you ever need anything, call us. We'll come like knights in shining armor if we have to."

I stared at the hand. Forcing back my fears, I hugged Daniel, crying softy into his chest. "But what if I don't want to go? What if your shining armor is broken?"

"We'll fix it," Daniel whispered, rubbing my back, "or leave it at home and come running anyway. Cody, be strong for me, okay? Do it for Isaac and all those who didn't get out when they did."

"I don't want to leave," I whimpered.

"We don't want you to either," Daniel held the hug, waiting for me to let go.

"Cody," Mrs. Weaver called from inside her car, "we need to go."

"Damn that woman," Daniel muttered. "She is still as stubborn as always."

I let go of Daniel and stepped towards the car. I opened the door and looked back at him, seeing his tear filled eyes. "Thank you, Daniel, for everything. Goodbye."

Daniel gave a small wave before folded his arms across his chest. "See you, Cody. Remember us."

I smiled a sad, broken smile. I wouldn't ever forget them. I slid into the car and shut the door. As soon as I clicked my seat belt on, we pulled away. I watched Daniel fade into the horizon. I pulled my attention forward, towards the new life I would lead.

Throughout the five hour car ride, Mrs. Weaver tried to get me to say something, but I kept ignoring her. My thoughts were with someone else. Memories of talking with Max and playing his piano drifted through my mind, all underscored by him singing. Finally, she got my attention by touching my arm. I jumped and pulled away from her.

"Calm down, Cody," she smiled again. "We're here."

I looked out the window. We were parked on the road next to a small home, small in comparison to the James-Erikson mansion. It had only one visible floor, but I assumed there was a basement. The lawn was green, trimmed in diagonal rows. I blinked a few times, trying to get my head around my new home. It wasn't bad, like the thoughts my head had conjured, but it wasn't where I wanted to be.

I got out of the car and felt the warm breeze drop over me. Why was the day so nice? I wanted this to be a rainy day, because a disaster was happening. It seemed like this was the perfect house for someone. I heard wind chimes ring somewhere in the neighborhood. It was really a nice, peaceful place. Deep I my heart, I knew I needed it, but I didn't want it.

"Come on, Cody," Mrs. Weaver said brightly. She moved to place her hand on my shoulder but thought better of it. "They're probably waiting for you."

I followed her, after staying a good distance away from her. She knocked on the door and we waited for someone to let us in. A little tiny woman opened the door and glared before recognizing who we were.

"Hello, Mrs. Temple," Mrs. Weaver bubbled, "I'm Cassandra Weaver. This is Cody."

"Hello, Cody," the new woman smiled. Something was off about her, something I didn't like. Mrs. Weaver wouldn't listen to me if I said anything. I kept my mouth shut and head down. "Can you look at me?"

I complied, looking at her face. She had stern features and walled off black eyes. It was weird, and I didn't like it. I was acting paranoid. She was probably really nice, and I was just preoccupied with Daniel and Max and them. She put her hand on my shoulder only to have me back away from it.

"He doesn't like people touching him," Mrs. Weaver gave a pity smile at me. "You're going to need to get him to trust you."

Good luck with that.

"We'll be best friends in no time," the woman laughed.

I narrowed my eyes, was she high or something?

The two grown women laughed and continued to make polite conversation. I did everything in my power to not show signs of humanity: unmoving head, ignoring the heat, ignoring my stomach's cry for something to eat. It was at that moment they both turned to look at me.

"When was the last time you ate?" Mrs. Temple asked me.

"This morning," I mumbled.

She went to grab my arm to pull me into the house. I pulled away from her, and tripped over my bag, landing on the ground. I winced, pushing against the cement. My skin was scraped and my wrists were pulsing. Mrs. Weaver knelt by my side.

"Are you hurt?"

I looked at my wrists and palms. They hurt, but they'd be healed in a day or two. I shook my head as I stood up. I grabbed my bag, feeling my wrist stretch as I carried it into the house.

Inside wasn't too different than outside. Everything was ordered and clean. I felt really dirty walking through the spotless house. Mrs. Temple led me into a small room with two beds placed at the opposite corners of the room, one right underneath a window.

"You'll be sharing a room with our son, Cody. His name is Isaiah."

"Thank you, Mrs. Temple," I muttered.

"Charlene," she corrected. "Isaiah's at school right now, he should be home in about an hour. Your bed is the one under the window. There should be a basket under it for you to put your clothes in."

I nodded and set my bag on the bed. Mrs. Weaver and Charlene left the room, leaving me alone. I took a deep breath in and nearly gagged. The house smelt clean, almost disgustingly so. I pulled my sheet music out of the bag, holding it against my chest. I missed Max.

Setting the music under the pillow, I dumped out my clothes. A small piece of paper dropped out on the bed. I opened it and saw Daniel's cranked hand writing with his phone number. I shoved that in my pocket, I wasn't going to lose that. By the time I had finished folding my clean clothes and putting them in the basket, Mrs. Weaver walked into the room.

"I'm going now, Cody. If you need anything, call me."

I nodded, "Goodbye."

She left and I was alone again. I sat on the bed, looking around the room, trying to find a way to get comfortable. I slid my phone out of my pocket, seeing a message blinking-from Max, of course. He wanted to call me, to talk to me. I was tempted to call him, but Charlene walked into the room.

"Rule one, no cell phones," she held her hand out. I hesitantly put my phone in her hand. "If you need to make a call, the phone in the kitchen is at your disposal. Rule two, the only music here is classical."

Charlene went on for a good five minutes, listing stricter rules than I had ever heard. I subconsciously worried about my sheet music. If they knew I had it, they would destroy it. They couldn't do that. I needed my sheet music. It was still my only escape from my memories.

Someone else walked into the room, an older teenager with bright blue eyes and a startling white smile. I stiffened. Despite him being drop dead gorgeous, he scared me. He reminded me too much of one of the guys that hurt me. That self-sure grin, the confident eyes. I held back a scream when he sat down on the other bed.

"Cody, this is Isaiah. Isaiah, Cody."

He smiled, flashing white teeth. "Hey Cody."

"Hello," I whispered, staring at him.

Charlene smiled, "Dinner is at five sharp. Don't be late."

She left, smiling. I wanted to scream. I wanted to get up and run away. She left me alone with him. What made it worse was he stood up and started to take his clothes off.

"So, Cody," he said, his shirt flying across the room, "do you play any sports?"

I was still paralyzed by him. At this point, I didn't know if it was fear or hormones.

"So you don't," Isaiah laughed, the pure sound filling the room. He walked over to me, pulling on a tight black shirt. "Do you play an instrument?"

He reached over me and pulled my sheet music out from under my pillow. He read the title and looked at me, shocked. I took the opportunity and grabbed my music back, holding it against my chest.

"Don't tell her I have this," I pleaded. "I need this, please."

Isaiah sat on the bed next to me. "The title, Rape, you weren't."

I didn't respond. I just clung tighter to the music and felt the tears fall. Isaiah gently wrapped his arms around me, and I fell into his embrace, sobbing.

Hours later, after dinner was eaten and we were sent to bed, Isaiah and I were in the same position as we were earlier. I don't know why, but the fear was gone from this morning. It may have been his reaction to the news that made me trust him, or that he just let me cry and didn't say anything. I needed that, after all the outbursts of crazy emotions I've been going through.

The next thing I knew, Isaiah was gently touching my shoulder. "Cody, you've got to wake up. Mom wants you at school today." What? I rolled over, only to find Isaiah rolling me over again. "Come on, I've got to take you to the middle school before I get to the high school."

"What grade?" I asked.

"Junior," he responded. "No time to shower this morning. Come on, Cody. We don't want to be late."

Nice, first day in town and I was going to be alone at the school.

Five weeks later:

Isaiah was lying next to me, and I was playing with his hair. He sat up against the wall and kissed my cheek. "How was your appointment with Dr. Johnson today?"

"Same old," I shrugged. "Asked me about love and what happened and how I felt. It's getting repetitive, actually."

"Have you told him what happened yet?"

I shook my head, "I told you so we could go at my pace. Luke doesn't need to know everything yet."

"Did you tell him about us?" He asked.

"Nope," I smiled. "We won't even tell your parents."

"That's because they're homophobes," Isaiah rolled his eyes. "Now come on, dinner's almost ready."

"Isaiah?" I asked, getting off the bed.

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Six weeks. I really did hate this place, and Isaiah was the only redeeming factor. But over the last week, he started drifting away from me, like he was scared of hurting me. Or he was scared I would hurt him. I really wanted to know why, but he wouldn't answer me. He would barely spend any time with me. He'd kiss my head, but that was the extent of our affections for each other.

I was getting really worried when he pulled me into our room one Friday after school. "Cody, we need to talk."

He sat down on his bed, and I sat next to him. I went to kiss him, but he just shook his head and pushed me away. "We can't do this Cody. Not while we both live here. It seems too...inappropriate."

"But we're not."

"We live in the same room, Cody. You're my damn foster brother. Emphasis on brother. Mom's going to figure it out soon. So..."

"What?"

"I'm," Isaiah breathed in deeply, "breaking up with you. We need to see other people, at least until I move out."

"But Isaiah," I could feel myself shattering.

"I'm sorry Cody."

Isaiah left the room, leaving me alone. I sat on his bed, to numb to move. I glanced over at the music I had hidden in my pillow. I hadn't needed it as of late, but now, I could hear the second movement clearly in my mind. Too bad I needed a pencil, and they were kept in the family room.

I slunk out of the room in time to see a flustered Mrs. Weaver waving her hands around, and someone I never thought I'd see again standing against the doorway, his brown eyes aflame.

"Cody," Mrs. Weaver exclaimed when she saw me. "Did you pack?"

"What?"

"Did you not tell him?" Mrs. Weaver asked, her face dark.

"I didn't think you would tear him from his home," Charlene scoffed.

Daniel chuckled, "Home? This isn't his home. His home is with us."

He walked over to me, his eyes soft and inviting. I blinked, this couldn't be happening. This had to be a dream. Daniel came, just like he promised he would. I ran over to him and hugged him and let the tears fall.

"Told you I'd come," Daniel laughed. "Took longer than I thought."

I let go of Daniel, "Thank you."

"Cody," Mrs. Weaver said sharply. "Take Daniel and pack. We're leaving and you're going back to the James-Erikson home. Permanently, this time."

I ran into my room and began throwing all of my stuff into the backpack I had for school. Daniel followed me into the room and did the same, only with a suitcase. I shoved my sheet music into the bag and zipped it up. A cough came from the doorway to reveal Isaiah. Daniel looked between the two of us. He took my bag.

"I'll meet you in the car," he said, before slinking out of the room.

Isaiah looked at me, hurt plastering his blue eyes. "You're leaving?"

I nodded, "Daniel and Elliot got me to feel safe first, and I'm free there. I'm not constrained by rules."

"But I still love you," Isaiah whispered.

I walked over to him and kissed him. He didn't kiss back. "Not enough to keep me here. Visit me, Isaiah. School's almost over and I want to see you again."

"Goodbye Cody."

"Bye Isaiah. Love you."

"Love you too, Cody."

Mrs. Weaver stood at the doorway, blocking me from a terrifying Charlene. I smirked at her as I walked out the door. I glanced back to see Isaiah standing there, his face showing how heartbroken he was. I was too, if he didn't notice.

Daniel met me at the car. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and grinned. "Let's go home, Cody. We all miss you."

12: Cheaters Never Win

Cody POV

I broke up with Isaiah on April 18 and came back home the same day.

I started dating Max on April 19. Can you say rebound?

The worst thing is, even though June is less than a week away, I didn't know how I felt about anybody. I knew I loved Max. I loved the way he laughed, the way his eyes sparkled, the need to "protect me" despite me being able to handle myself. I loved that he was older than me, but completely submissive and handsome when he was with me. I was in love with him and I knew I was.

Yet Isaiah was always in the back of my mind. He was there when I broke down. He was the only person who knew what happened to me, and one of two who knew I was gay. He comforted me and helped me get over the phobia of touching people. I was in love with him too.

"What you thinking about now?" Max asked me as I finished playing the piano at his house.

"You," I grinned, "how did you know I was thinking?"

Max laughed, "Because you didn't try changing any of the notes to make it sound better."

"What if I thought it was perfect?" I chuckled and grabbed his waist, pulling him next to me. I kissed his cheek, "What if it was perfect like you?"

"You always complain about this song and how you never get it to sound good," Max muttered. His lips met mine for a few seconds before we broke apart again. "What about me were you thinking about?"

"How much I love you," It wasn't a complete lie, but it sure as hell wasn't the complete truth. "I also thought about how no one knows in gay here. Or that we're dating."

Max looked at the sheet music with a new fascination. "Do you want to tell them?"

I shrugged, "If it means I can kiss you whenever I want, yes."

Max smiled, but it fell quickly. "But what if they say we can't date each other?"

I thought back to when Isaiah broke up with me because of my familial status. Max and I didn't live together, he wasn't related in any way, shape, or form, and so I couldn't see a problem. I didn't want to ruin Max the way Isaiah ruined me with that damn break up. He still loved me, and I loved him. It wasn't the healthiest thing to have two lovers, but I couldn't tell Max. Not now, anyway.

"They'll be fine. If not," I let the sentence hang off and turned my attention back to the piano. "I want to tell them what happened too. What really happened."

Max looked at me in shock. "You do?"

I nodded, "I'm going to be dating you officially. You and them deserve to know exactly what happened to me."

Max rested his head on my shoulder. "Love you, Codes."

"Love you, Maxie."

Max and I arranged to have both families meet in the theater room in Daniel and Elliot's basement. As everyone piled into the theater chairs, I started having second thoughts. Max smiled, cheering me on from one of the chairs. The adults were sitting around, making small talk. Matt and Kara were making googly-eyes at each other. Max and I always laughed at those two.

It was time.

"Hi, everyone," I coughed, walking to the front of the room. "I have a few announcements to make."

I suddenly felt all their eyes on me. I couldn't do this. Max caught my attention, making small movements in an attempt to get me to move on. Daniel and Elliot were watching me encouragingly. I swallowed.

"I'm gay."

I didn't know what I expected. Cheers? Gasps? Nothing? All that happened at that was Matt raised an eyebrow, and Jack handed Daniel and Elliot each five dollars. They made a bet. They made a bet on if I was gay or not. The nerve. I was going to yell, but I had other things to tell.

"That's not it, though," I dropped my voice and entered my memories. "I was raped, and you all know that. But what Mrs. Weaver didn't say was by who, or by how many people."

I looked out and saw Daniel and Isaac going pale, each latching on to their love. Isaac was shaking his head in horror. Elliot's grip was tightened and I saw his white knuckles. I was in it now, the only way forward was through the past.

"I didn't know anybody who raped me," I said softly. "But it was my foster brother that set it up. One day, while I was sleeping, he took me to his friend's house and tied me in the basement. I woke up naked and scared. Over the next few days or hours or I don't even know, my foster brother's closest friends each used me like a pleasure toy. I tried to scream, but they kept my mouth bound too. I was convinced they were going to kill me, since I never got any food or water or anything. I was only ever used."

I slid down the wall and sat heavily. I didn't want to cry, I really didn't want to. I wasn't done yet. Max appeared at my side and I felt a little calmer. "I seriously thought I was going to die. But someone found me, and I was saved. My friend drove me here while they rounded up all the guilty parties. My foster dad knew what was going on. That's why I can't go back."

Matt and Kara seemed to the most shocked. They inadvertently grew up surrounded by stories of things like this, but never had seen the aftermath in front of them. Well now they have. I closed my eyes and leaned against Max. He was remarkable, staying warm and comforting after what I went through. I was glad he was taller than me, because it made it much easier to cuddle with him.

"Are you going to tell them?" Max whispered in my ear.

I sighed, "Yes. Everyone, one more thing. I'm kind of going out with Max."

Kara squealed and smiled widely. Matt grinned, and that was all the reaction I got. Then I noticed the adults. Daniel and Elliot each had a small, identical smiles on their faces. Jack was scowling. I was worried why until he pulled out three five dollar bills and handed them to Daniel, Elliot, and Isaac.

"You made bets on this too?"

Daniel laughed, "Yup. Elliot has a good gaydar and I have a phenomenal knack for seeing relationship potential. You two are great together."

Jack growled, "I will never bet against these two on the matters of a gay heart."

"Should've learned that years ago," Isaac laughed, kissing his husband. "After all, they played matchmaker with us."

Matt looked back at his parents. "Did you really?"

Daniel grinned, "It took them way too long to realize that I was slowly pushing them together."

The adults all laughed and continued to tell stories about the days of ancient history. I was just grateful they moved on from me and Max dating. They might have, but Kara came over to us.

"If you hurt him," she said softly, "I'll hurt you worse."

"Cross my heart," I lied smoothly. I still didn't know how Isaiah was going to complicate things. "I love him."

Kara smiled before walking away. I let go of a breath I was holding. I didn't know why, but her threat seriously terrified me. Max grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I kissed his cheek before standing up.

"Come on, Maxie," I said, dragging him out the door. "I have a song idea that I want to do."

"Alright, Cody."

"Don't do anything stupid," Daniel called after us as we left. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

The end of the school year came along with a bang. It was fantastic, being out with Max. Our families adapted to the change nicely, letting us just be in love without worrying about things, like the things Isaiah was always worried about.

After we said goodbye to the school year and friends, new and old, we went straight to my house. I didn't have many friends outside the family, and so it became a hobby of Max's and mine to see if how many hidden rooms and passages we could find. Today, though, we just went and sprawled out in the afternoon light. Our heads were next to each other's, just like a scene from a cheesy romance novel. But I loved every minute of it, because Max was with me.

"We'll do this every day, right?" Max asked.

I smiled contentedly as a summer breeze blew over us, "If you want to."

"I want to," Max chuckled, "we should bring speakers out here. We could listen to music."

"What if it rains?"

"Then we'll lay out here and get soaked listening to the music of nature," Max answered. "Have you ever paused to listen to music of thunder and rain? Or watched the dance of lightning."

"Aw," I laughed. "I fell in love with a poet."

"I'm a poet and I didn't even know it," Max joked back at me.

"Cute, Maxie," I smiled widely and watched the clouds. "Do you ever watch the dancing clouds?"

"Yeah," He answered.

This was going to be a great summer. It was just me and him, together. In love. Happy.

"Cody," Daniel called from the house, "the phone's for you. It's Luke."

I groaned. Daniel and Elliot still drove me five hours to see my psychiatrist, Luke Johnson. He was nice and all, and understood crappy family relationships, but he was sort of annoying. He kept pestering me about any relationships and the truth. Maybe I was biased, but he was a friend. I did trust him with a lot. He even knew I wrote music, and not many people did. That's a lie. The people I cared about knew I enjoyed my music.

"Got to go, Maxie," I sat up and stretched. "I'll meet you at your house in like a half an hour. Luke likes to talk."

"Bye Codes," Max stood and started walking to his house.

I went into the house and grabbed the phone from Daniel.

"Hi, this is Cody."

"Hello Cody," Luke's voice came over the phone. "I'm just calling to talk about our schedule. Since you're not in school for the next few months, I was wondering if there was a different time that worked better for you."

"You'd need to talk to Daniel and Elliot for that. I'm fourteen, remember?"

"Right," Luke trailed off. "Oh well. I'll see you in a week or so. Can I talk to Daniel again?"

"Course, I'll see you." Daniel raised an eyebrow when I handed the phone again, "Schedules."

Daniel nodded, "Dr. Johnson, this is Daniel."

I rolled my eyes. They knew each other, so what was with the formalities? I went into my new room on the second floor, across the hall from Matt's. I wanted to get something for Cody, something to show him how awesome he was. Maybe it was time to show him my third movement. It was missing something, and I didn't know what it was.

Not worth it, I decided. When I got a title for my third movement, I'd show it to Max. Until then, this was my little present to myself. I guess I would just show up at Max's a little sooner than I thought.

I threw the front door open. Someone was walking down the street, with blond hair. I looked at them for a moment and then I was blinded by a gorgeous smile.

"Cody, I was wondering where you lived."

"Isaiah!" I ran over to him and hugged him.

"Hey there," Isaiah rubbed my back. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too," I rested on his chest. "But what are you doing here?"

"Keeping a promise," Isaiah whispered in my ear.

"Oh," I sighed.

"Guess how much I missed you," he asked.

"How much?"

"This much."

Isaiah's lips melted and it was like I went on autopilot. I just melted into his arms, and he deepened our kiss. Warmth swarmed through my body. I needed to breathe. I broke the kiss and smiled.

Oh my gods. What did I just do? Did anyone see that?

"Cody?"

"Damn it," I swore. I turned around and saw Matt standing in the doorway. "Matt, I can explain."

"Cody, I," Matt shook his head and ran off in the direction of Max's house.

I pushed Isaiah off of me and started to go after him. Isaiah grabbed my wrist and stopped me from running after Matthew.

"Who's he?" Isaiah asked.

"Not important," I pulled my arm free off his grip. "But he's going to my boyfriend-"

"Your what?" Isaiah's tone was icy.

"Isaiah, please," I begged. "I've got to go."

Isaiah shook his head and pushed me the way Matt ran. I wanted to say something to him, but I had to stop Matt before he told Max what he saw. What did he see? How much of that did he see?

I ran over to Max's house, wheezing when I pounded on the door. I wasn't comfortable enough barging into their house, despite practically living there. Isaac opened the door. He was going to say something, but I ran past him, straight to Max's room.

I didn't know what to expect when I pushed the door open. Matt turned and looked at me, his eyes flaming with rage. Max just looked broken, like he lost something immensely powerful. I looked at Matt, trying to find mercy in his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here you lying son of a bitch?" He growled.

I walked into the room. "What?" It wasn't that I didn't understand why I was being called a bitch, but I had never heard Matt cuss like that. It was something I did.

Max pushed Matt away and grabbed my shoulders. "Please don't tell me it's true."

Damn it, Matt told him. "What?!"

I wanted to explain myself, to explain that Isaiah instigated the kiss. Okay, maybe I should have broken it off sooner, but he and I parted on bad terms.

"I saw you kissing another guy, Cody," Matt hissed. "And I'll be damned if I let you slide after you hurt my best friend twice."

I felt the blood leave my face. He saw that much. Damn it, Cody, why did I have to let my hormones carry me away? Max let go of me an took refuge with Matt

I needed to try to explain what happened. "Max, I-"

"Back off," Matt warned.

Matthew was just a sea of raging, overprotective hormones, wasn't he? Why didn't he realize that I was trying to fix the situation? He was only making it worse.

"You know, last I checked, I was trying to have a conversation with my boyfriend. Mind backing the hell off?" I snapped. Matt was silent. "Can we have a little privacy, or is that too much to ask for from Max's personal bodyguard?"

Max did something to signal the Hulk to leave. Matt shot him a look, before slowly walking out of the room and I could feel his stare on me the entire time. The door shut with a resolving click.

"Do you kiss all of your ex-boyfriends?" Max asked softly.

"No!" I sighed. I knelt down in front of him and grabbed his hands, clasping them with my own. "Gods, this is so messed up."

I let go of his hands to play with my hair. It was something I once saw Max do and picked up. I thought it was adorable at the time.

"Did you love him?" He asked.

He didn't want know that, did he? I didn't even want to deal with that. I was happy. Why did the gods want to play with my life? Didn't I have the right to find love? I sighed. Max deserved an answer from me.

"Yes," I whispered.

Max began to collapse, his life shattering. I saw him struggle to breathe as tears streamed down his face at a rate that was sort of alarming. He choked, trying to find words.

"I - you..."

"Max," I pleaded. I set my hand on his and he reacted in a way I knew by heart. He jumped. One minute I had him, the next he was tucked up tightly on the opposite corner of the bed. He then looked at me and I started breaking.

It wasn't a look of hate, or disbelief, just his sobbing eyes.

"You promised... You said you never wanted to see me cry."

Damn it! Why the hell did he have to bring up my shattered promise? I knew I hurt him, but he didn't need to grind me into dust. I just wanted this to end, for better or worse.

"Max..." I took a step forward.

"Just... Let me think... Alone... Please... That's all I'll ever be... Alone."

I remembered the feeling of utter despair I had when I was raped. That feeling of hopelessness when you realize that there was no one to make the situation any better. I closed my eyes and fought the tears. So, I was done with love. And if I ever got the chance, I would apologize to Max. But I needed to get away. I nodded and bit my lip.

I walked to the door. Just before I left, I turned over my shoulder to say my goodbye. "I never lied to you when I said that I loved you, remember that."

Max POV

I was in my room checking twitter when my door was harshly thrown open. I turned, expecting a love sick Kara, but I saw a pissed off Matthew instead.

"Matt?" I asked. He was seething, pacing back and forth, shutting my door behind him.

He had his eyes closed, and I thought it was a good thing he came over so often or he'd die from the mess I called my room. He brought his hands together as if he was bowing like and Asian or praying. He tapped his nose and I sunk onto my bed, putting my laptop on my legs.

"Matthew!" I snapped, after a few minutes of watching him pace. "What's wrong?"

Matthew's head flicked to look directly at me. At first it was filled with fury and hatred, not actually made me jump a little. Then his complexion softened as he looked sorrowful, if not regretful that he had to tell me something.

I ran my hands through my shaggy hair, like I always did to calm my nerves. I swallowed, Matthew was concerning me now.

"Matt?" I asked again.

"You boyfriend is a no good, cheating bastard." He said flatly.

I looked at him, feeling anger building. I had known him for too long for this to be an accusation without an explanation. I chose to wait for my rebuttal.

"Why?" I asked.

Matthew inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, huffing out.

"I saw him kissing another guy..." He sighed. My face dropped, I didn't believe him. "I've never seen him before, but Cody was definitely kissing him. He hugged him and whispered something into his ear."

I slowly shut my laptop and set it on my bed. I shook my head and looked down.

It made sense that there had been another guy, I didn't care, but I thought Cody had broken up with him. My bottom lip was quivering now. I was breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating.

Matthew looked about ready to cry with me. He quickly stepped forward and locked me in a tight embrace. I was shaking, but the tears refused to come.

My door opened again and I felt Matthew turn defensively.

"What the hell are you doing here you lying son of a bitch..." He growled.

"What?" I heard Cody's voice and immediately shoved past Matthew.

"Please don't tell me it's true," I begged, grabbing his shoulders.

"What?!" Cody repeated.

"I saw you kissing another guy, Cody. And I'll be damned if I let you slide after hurting my best friend... twice!" Matthew hissed.

Cody's face went pale. I let go and stumbled into Matthew, who placed an arm around me. I shook my head and covered my mouth.

"Max, I-" Cody tried.

"Back off," Matthew warned.

"You know, last I checked, I was trying to have a conversation with my boyfriend. Mind backing the hell off?" Cody snapped and I flinched. Matthew was silent. "Can we have a little privacy, or is that too much to ask for from Max's personal bodyguard?"

I touched Matthew's arm and nodded. He gave me his signature "don't do this" stare but left anyway.

The door shut and I sat on my bed, trying to sort through what just happened.

"Do you kiss all of your ex-boyfriends?" I asked softly.

"No!" Cody protested, quickly kneeling and holding my hand on my lap. "Gods, this is so messed up."

He ran a hand through his hair, a habit he picked up from me.

"Did you love him?" I asked, not wanting to hear the answer.

"Yes," Cody's answer crushed my heart. I couldn't get a decent breath. I struggled to keep breathing as my eyes mimicked Niagara Falls.

I fought for words, "I - you..."

I couldn't see clearly.

"Max," Cody touched my hand and I jumped back. I curled into a ball in the corner furthest from him, staring at him.

It wasn't a look of hate, or disbelief, just my sobbing eyes.

"You promised... You said you never wanted to see me cry," I reminded between hiccups.

"Max..." Cody took a step forward.

"Just... Let me think... Alone... Please... That's all I'll ever be... Alone."

Cody looked about ready to break down. I pulled my legs in more and hugged them as I sobbed. I watched as my love nodded, biting back tears, and turned for the door.

"I never lied to you when I said that I loved you, remember that..." He said, turning his head to the profile, then continuing out.

I saw Matthew watch him as he left. I buried my head in my knees and continued sobbing.

I heard the heavy steps of Matthew running to help me. His touch made me squirm and jerk. I flinched and was terrified for any touch.

"Max?" Matthew asked, I could hear the growing concern in his voice.

I looked up at him with swollen, probably very attractive eyes.

"I can't..." I rasped. My voice was hoarse from crying. "I can't..."

Matthew looked pained and nodded.

"I'll get Kara…" He said, standing up.

"No..." I sniffed. "I need to be alone..."

I could tell Matthew really didn't want to leave me alone, but he nodded anyway, and left me to my muses. I stood and tree my closet door open. I pulled out my easel and a canvas. I dropped and pulled the case of paint out from under my bed. I searched my desk for my brushes and filled my brush cleaning station with water from my bathroom.

I sat on my bed and stared at the blank canvas. I reached down and Picked up red and squeezed the tube.

Cody POV

I walked out the door, avoiding looking at Matthew. It was when I was a few feet away from the house did I realize what I said. Remember. Gods damn it all, I did it again. Max told me how he hated being told to remember people. And I did it to him AGAIN.

I ran back to my house, trying to fight the falling tears. It was just my luck that Isaiah was still standing there. I wiped my eyes and went over to him. Sure, I was a good eight inches shorter than him, but hell hath no fury like a lover scorned, right?

"You bitch!" I screamed at him.

"Calm down," Isaiah said when he noticed me. "What gave you a wedgie? Was it your fake boyfriend?"

"We'll he's not that anymore," I screamed. "All because of you!"

"We're still dating Codes," Isaiah started.

"Don't call me that," I tried to calm my voice down, but it came out like a terrifying whisper. "You broke up with me, Isaiah Temple. I begged you not to and you did. You broke my heart, and now you've done it again and we're not even dating."

"That didn't matter when you kissed me," Isaiah scoffed.

"That's because I'm an idiot for trusting you," I turned away from him. "Go home, Isaiah. You're not welcome here."

"What are you going to do about it?" He hissed.

I reacted. Maybe it wasn't my smartest move, but it sure as hell made me feel better, aside from my stinging palm, that is. Isaiah's hand traveled to the growing red mark on his face. Death was in his eyes.

"You little-"

"Stay away from me, Isaiah." I interrupted.

I ran into the house, tears flowing with no restraints. I thought I saw Daniel out of the corner of my eye, but I prayed I didn't. The last thing I needed was to explain Isaiah to him right now. And so I escaped to one of the few places I thought I could be safe: my reading room. Max didn't know about it, only Daniel and Elliot. Matt wouldn't find me either.

Time seemed to slither by. I constantly relived the hell I just went through. We're the gods just out to get me or did I just have really bad luck? It was probably some as mixture of the two, when I thought about it. At some point I started drifting, and then I ended up asleep, dreaming about Max's eyes and Isaiah's lecherous lips.

Kara POV

"How's he doing?" I asked. Matthew told me what happened, and I just about dropped my sketch book to hunt down that lying bastard.

"Dunno," Matthew muttered through his hands. He had his face buried in his hands since after he told me.

I rolled my eyes and took a peak into my brother's room. I silently shut the door and sat in the chair across the room from where Matthew was.

"That bad?" Matthew asked, looking up through his fingers.

"He's painting..." I said flatly.

Matthew cringed. Max was a brilliant artist, but he only painted or drew when he was on an emotional high... Or in this case, low.

I entered his room nearly an hour later to force feed him. Otherwise he could literally go days without food or sleep, and if I wasn't careful he would drink the water for his brushes...

Max was staring at his canvas, unmoving and barely breathing. I walked over with the water bottle and plate of food. I sat next to him on the bed and examine his work. I've never seen anything quite as... sad.

The sky was a deep, almost bloody red. The subject was Max holding his head and crying tears of rubies. Rubies had another meaning, I knew it. He was always very symbolic in his paintings. I racked my brain, eventually giving up and grabbing his laptop to look it up.

Rubies... Love or healing... Maximilian Frost, why do you have such rotten luck?

I began wondering if anything else had symbols. The foreground was flowers, fields upon fields of flowers of several kinds. I looked up pictures on one tab and their meanings on the other.

Red carnations: my heart aches for you. Daffodils: you are the only one. Primroses: I can't live without you. A fully bloomed, single rose: I still love you. Snapdragons: deception. Orange Mocks: deceit. Geraniums: stupidity, folly. And cyclamens: resignation and goodbye.

This was Max. This was what he was thinking. I closed the computer and pulled Max into a limp hug. Max was off in his own world, waiting for his knight in shining armor to wake him from his deep sleep.

Cody POV

"Out of my way, Daniel, I'm going to talk to the little bastard."

I sat up suddenly, the sound of Elliot's yelling forcing me awake. He was in the library. Gods damn it, he knew about my secret room. He wanted to "talk" to me. Matt told his parents.

"Elliot, you will do no such thing," Daniel roared back. Then his voice dropped to a low level. I could sense the fury in his voice, but he was much more controlled, much scarier. I wished Elliot would come in here: I could at least avoid the punches from his "talk". I couldn't fight Daniel.

The door to the reading room swung open and Daniel walked in. His eyes held the same fire towards me they did when he took me from Isaiah's house. I sat up in the chair and tried to control my fear. I had no doubt that the man in front of me could do damage if he wanted to. But instead of doing anything, he shut the door and sighed.

"What were you thinking, Cody?"

"I wasn't," I muttered. Silence was not the answer here. "You've got to understand, Isaiah-"

"But I don't understand," Daniel interrupted. "Who's Isaiah? Was he the boy you were fighting with earlier?"

I gripped the armrest, "You saw that?"

"Explain, Cody. I don't want to play the question game with you."

I sighed, "Isaiah helped me get over my fears. He helped me relearn how to trust people. I was in love with Isaiah Temple."

"Temple?" Daniel narrowed his eyes. "Isn't that the name of the family you stayed with?"

"He was the son," I nodded. "I loved him, but he said it was too taboo. He said since we were foster brothers living together, that it was too close to incest. He broke up with me and left me standing alone. A few minutes later, you showed up and we left. Isaiah and I didn't entirely part on good circumstances."

"So why did you kiss him?"

I folded my arms across my chest. "I don't know. When he showed up, I didn't know how to feel. I was happy to see him. I wanted to know if we could have a legitimate way to say goodbye. I admit it, I hugged him, and we kissed."

Daniel's hand clenched. He exhaled and looked away from me, "Why, Cody? Matthew said it was a long kiss. Why?"

I swallowed, "I loved him, Daniel. I didn't realize what had happened when he did it and I just reacted."

Daniel shook his head, "You're fourteen, what do you know about love?"

"How old were you when you discovered you loved Elliot?" I countered.

"Older than you."

"How much older?" If I remembered right, he was sixteen when they started dating.

"What are you saying, Cody?"

"I'm saying that how did you know what love is? You were sixteen and I'm fourteen. There isn't that big of a gap." I pulled my legs up and stared at Daniel. "Wake up, Daniel. Unlike you and Elliot or Isaac and Jack, not everyone meets their life-long lover on their first serious relationship. My first one fizzled and died. Max and Isaiah together left me branded with a damn scarlet letter."

"We're aware," Daniel hissed. "You know that we went through everything before we were finally able to be happy. It took us time to finally reach where we are now."

"And now I'm a cheater," I spat back, "because Isaiah broke up with me and only came back because he promised me he'd come and see me."

Daniel folded his arms and looked at me. "You didn't resist, and that's why you got your 'scarlet letter', although why you're quoting Hawthorne is beyond me."

"The boot fits," I muttered. "I didn't resist, Daniel. But you saw what I did to Isaiah. I may have loved him, but now I know I don't."

"You're going to have to reap what you sewed." Daniel relaxed and bowed his head. "I get what you were saying, but it doesn't change what happened."

"I know it doesn't," I rested my head against the chair.

Daniel touched my shoulder, "I'm going to talk to the others. They deserve to know what you told me. But lay low, Cody. Matt and Kara and Jack will be hard to convince."

"Okay."

Daniel smiled sadly before walking out. I leaned on the chair, thinking. I wanted to break down and cry. There was a massive weight on my shoulder, something I couldn't get rid of. Below me I heard Elliot yelling. It was about me and my crime. Why couldn't they just leave me be? I wanted to come back here because there was Max and I felt safe. Now, though, there wasn't Max and I felt threatened.

My mind conjured a plan to lay low. If they didn't want me around, then I'd leave. I still loved Max, but he deserved time to process everything, and a chance to deal with it before breaking up with me. I needed time, though. I needed to wait for everyone to fall asleep.

Eventually, they did. Daniel sent me a text at about ten saying that he talked to the others. Isaac understood, not really, but he was hesitant to believe me second hand. I wouldn't have believed me second hand either. At about midnight, I snuck out of the reading room towards my room. I was going to leave, and maybe come back. I had not decided yet.

I packed my backpack full of clothes and my cell phone charger. I wanted Daniel to be able to contact me if he needed me to. It was good to have clothes, but it wouldn't do much good without money to help with me. I earned maybe twenty dollars, but I did know where the emergency cash was Daniel and Elliot kept in the kitchen.

My hand reached for my sheet music. I wanted to rip it up and destroy it. But I couldn't do that. The first two movements, Rape and Loss, were basically complete. But the song wasn't done. There was another movement in the wings, waiting to be written. I grabbed the paper in my hand and sighed. I would leave it here, as well as a note.

I needed to get the money first.

Armed with my phone and bag of clothes, I crept down to the kitchen. The oven light was on, and it was all the light I needed. Their money was in the drawer with the silverware. I fought the guilt building in my stomach and grabbed a handful of the cash. I shut the door and looked at the money in my hands. Twenties and fifties, and a good collection to top it all off. I counted the money and reached just over four hundred dollars. I could survive for a few days on this. The money found a home in my pocket and in pockets the in my bag.

Now for the note. I set my sheet music on the table and searched for a sticky note and a pen. When I finally found one, I scribbled a note that I prayed didn't make me seem like I was bailing because of hate, but of loss. I sighed and walked to the back door. The metal was warm in the summer night. I took a deep breath in and walked out the door, leaving Max, and all my troubles behind me.

Whoever finds this note:

I'm safe, I promise. I'm not leaving to avoid the situation, I just need to clear my head and think about life. I promise I'll let you know where I am eventually. I'll come back, hopefully different. And that I'll pay you back the money I took.

-Cody

13: Clearing Heads

Daniel POV

I rolled over in bed, growling into my pillow. My alarm clock was going off, the shrill beeping alarm stabbing my head. Why did my alarm go off? I wasn't working today and I didn't need to get the kids up for school today. I looked up at the clock: 9 in the morning.

Elliot rolled over, "Sweetie, turn that alarm off."

"I don't remember turning it on," I muttered as I flicked it off.

"You did," Elliot muttered, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me next to his body. "Is Cody still in the reading room?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "He wasn't in his room when we got home."

"I owe him an apology," Elliot kissed my head. "I bet he heard me yelling at him."

"That he did," I rubbed his hand. "I thought you were mad at him."

"I dreamt that he got kidnapped like you were," Elliot's grip tightened around my waist. "We didn't get to him in time. I don't like it. He wouldn't disappear, would he?"

I rolled around and looked in his gray eyes. I kissed his forehead, "Cody just needs to think. He wouldn't do anything that stupid."

"Dad! Papa!" Matt yelled from the kitchen.

I groaned, "Why doesn't he ever sleep in?"

"Papa!"

"Come on," Elliot sat up, "Let's go see what we're needed for."

I rolled my eyes before sliding out of bed. A gift of mine was always waking up with bed head, and I knew I must have had a disaster up there. I yawned and followed Elliot into the kitchen. Matt was holding a sticky note in his hand and stood staring at the papers on the counter. Elliot plucked the sticky note from his hand and I looked at the papers.

"Isn't that Cody's sheet music?"

"Yes," Matt spat.

I grabbed the pile of papers and flipped through them. I didn't understand what was on the page, but I could tell it was complicated. Cody once tried to explain to me the music on the pages, but it was lost on me. I noticed there were only two songs here. Cody always went on about having a third part, but it wasn't here.

"Sweetie," Elliot whispered, handing me the sticky note. "He is that foolish."

I skimmed the note. My eyes widened when I realized what happened. "Oh my gods, he shouldn't have run."

"I'm glad he did," Matt commented. "We don't have to deal with him anymore and Max can get over him."

"Matt," I snapped. "He is your friend. Do you really think that is an appropriate thing to be saying?"

He shrugged, "He's betrayed Max twice. He's no friend of mine."

Elliot had moved to where we kept our emergency money and sighed. "He left us most of it. I don't think this was planned, it just happened."

I knew Elliot well enough to know that he needed to talk to me alone, and then we needed to gather our group and talk about it. His knuckles were straining to keep himself calm. I grabbed his hand, "Matt, go get ready."

He nodded and left the kitchen.

Elliot looked up at me, "Why would he leave?"

"Think about it like you were him," I whispered. "He said he was branded with a scarlet letter. He doesn't know how much we support him. He knows I will stand behind him, but that I didn't endorse his relationships. You called him a bastard and Matthew called him a son of a bitch. How would you react?"

Elliot sighed and leaned against the counter, "I wouldn't have stolen hundreds of dollars from my parents and ran away. But Cody was right to freak out."

"Exactly," I rested my head on his shoulder. "What are we going to do about Matt? It's like he has something more personal than Max against Cody."

"Don't know, sweetie," he sighed, "I don't know. Are you going to call Isaac?"

"Don't want to, but I will," I kissed his cheek and walked over to the home phone. I dialed the Frost's number and waited for someone to pick up the phone.

"Hello, this is Isaac Frost."

"It's Daniel."

"What's up?"

"Cody's gone," I said simply. "He left sometime this morning and took some of our rainy day cash."

"Oh," Isaac sounded shocked. "We'll be over in an hour."

"Don't bring Kara," I said suddenly. "Matt has a grudge against Cody and I don't want him here for this. I'll send him to your house."

"Okay," Isaac didn't question it. I was immensely glad for his friendship. "I'll see you later."

"See you, bye."

"Bye," I hung up the phone.

Elliot looked over at me, pulling two bowls out of a cabinet, "When are they coming over?"

"An hour," I grabbed the bowl from him and sighed. "Want to go be the bad cop and get Matt to go over to Isaac's"

He groaned, "You just like being the good guy."

"Better than you," I responded. I grabbed cereal from a cupboard and poured. "He responds better to you, at any rate."

Elliot sighed, "Fine. Will you make my breakfast while I go and tell him?"

"Your cereal will be here when you get back," I went to the refrigerator and grabbed the milk.

Elliot left the kitchen and I added the milk to my cereal. I made Elliot's before taking my bowl and looking at the sheet music Cody left behind. I flipped through the page, in awe of the complexity that Cody had written into it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had never actually heard it played. I don't think anyone had heard it played, just the sound of him working on it. Maybe Jack could play it one day.

"I'm not going to leave!" I head Matt yell from his room.

I don't know what Elliot said in return but it suddenly got quiet again. I took a bite of my cereal. Matt was finally rebelling. It took him long enough. He needed to start questioning right and wrong and what Elliot and I wanted for him. If he just went along blindly...

Matt stormed through the kitchen towards the back door. He looked at me, glaring, before he slammed the door. I don't think I wanted him to rebel any more.

"He's growing up," Elliot muttered as he walked into the room. "I don't like it."

"Why was he yelling?"

"He wants to be here since he's the one who found Cody kissing the other boy. He wants to hear what Cody told you and why you didn't tell him where Cody was hiding," Elliot sat next to me. "Daniel, why did you not tell him?"

"It's personal," I swirled the milk in my bowl.

"Does it have something to do with what we were arguing about?"

"Yes."

Last night was painful. When I went into the reading room last night, I had every intention of yelling at Cody. But I came in and saw his eyes-hurt and broken. Cody was suffering as much as Max was, if not more. That's why I decided that I needed to hear what his side of the story was. Cody wouldn't be hurting unless he didn't expect it to happen. When would you expect to be caught cheating someone, though.

But after our talk, Elliot wanted to go and talk to Cody. I wouldn't let him. Cody needed to be alone. When I left the room, I had a feeling he would need to be alone for a while, and I wouldn't let anyone stop him from debating with himself.

"I'm glad you stopped me," Elliot grabbed my hand. "I don't think Cody could have handled all four of us coming down on him."

I stared into my empty cereal bowl. "I'm going to get ready. Isaac and Jack will be over here in about 45 minutes."

"I love you, Daniel," Elliot said as I put my dishes in the sink.

"I know."

Isaac POV

Jack and I normally loved the scenery as we took the five minute walk to Daniel and Elliot's crazy home. I had prided myself in finding all of the hidden passages in the library, anything past that was beyond me. Jack was positively fuming next to me.

Jack was a super protective father, partially because of what happened to me. His eye brows were knit together, his head was tilted down, and his calm rage was beginning to scare even me. His normally fluffy snowy eyes were now ice cold and seething.

Today was bright and sunny, completely opposite of how our son was feeling.

I knew Cody had run. I knew he had taken some money. I also knew that I was sorely disappointed with his actions. I realize that he needed to think, but this was... extreme.

We walked up to the incredibly large house and knocked.

Daniel opened the door, with a sad look. Elliot seemed to be closer to Jack's rage than my understanding.

"We didn't pass Matt on the way here," I informed, trying to lighten the incredibly dark atmosphere.

"I feel like I have the same right to know why Cody broke my best friend's heart as his parents," Matthew spat.

Okay, there was a rival for Jack's anger level.

I sighed and nodded.

"Come on into the living room," Elliot placed a hand on my back and guided me to the room of couches. Jack followed.

We all took seats, me practically on top of Jack to prevent him from breaking something.

"So, what's happened?" I felt as if I should break the ice.

"How the hell can you be so calm and relaxed?!" Matthew reeled.

Daniel shot him a death glare.

"I can tell you right now, I am anything but calm and relaxed. I just know that there has to be a voice of reason or everyone will be against a scared, heartbroken teenage boy who has made a series of bad choices and mistakes." I responded softly.

"Matthew," Jack spoke, holding back every ounce of anger. "Isaac has always been the voice of reason. He has the ability to get people to look at the other side."

Matthew scowled and slumped back in his chair.

"Cody claimed that the kiss was a reaction, a muscle memory of sorts," Daniel sighed, starting the main focus of our conversation.

I nodded, "So he fell in love and got close to the boy-"

"Isaiah... He said his name was Isaiah..." Matthew offered.

"Isaiah... And when he was confronted he went on autopilot," I summed up.

"Basically," Daniel nodded.

"That still doesn't explain why the little bastard took your money and skipped." Jack growled.

I nodded.

"While I do understand the motive for wanting space, I must agree, that was a little extreme way of clearing his head."

"That's the thing," Daniel sighed. "Why?"

"Well, if I were a fourteen year old boy who had been raped, found love, been torn away from his love because of the legal system, found a rebound, fell in 'love' again, broken up with him, gone back to my first love, then have the old boyfriend suddenly show up again... Then life goes downhill when I kissed him, my first love going unresponsive to me as well as his friends and family, then only having a few people believe him... As a fourteen year old, I would have run..." I summarized.

Matthew looked at me in disbelief.

"No you wouldn't have," Jack shook his head.

"Probably not, but I can see why he would have. I had really wonderful parents who would have been with me every step of the painful way. Why aren't his?"

"Are you calling us bad parents?" Elliot tensed and narrowed his eyes.

"Not at all," I waved my hands. "Matthew turned out great! I'm just wondering why you're not on his side."

"We are!" Daniel protested.

"Dan, I know for a fact that you are just as disappointed in him as I am, but I need to know your reasons."

Daniel looked down in deep thought.

"I'll start," Elliot shifted. "We fought to get Cody back and he betrayed our trust, simple as that."

I nodded.

"Fair enough."

"I think there reason I'm so disappointed is because I did the same thing. I was raped, I left my love, I ran away from my next home..." Daniel said sadly. "I'm disappointed in myself for not stopping him. I'm disappointed that he repeated my mistakes."

"You have no control over that," Elliot rubbed circles on his lover's back.

Daniel leaned on Elliot and closed his eyes.

"And you?" I asked, looking at Matthew.

"Me?! You seriously have to ask?" He scoffed.

"The first step at fixing things is admitting you have a problem, now talk."

Matthew was shocked at how fast I spat out my comeback and command.

"He broke Max."

"And?"

"And he betrayed my trust!"

I nodded and swung my head to look at my husband, my face asking my question.

He sighed, "Cody betrayed my trust. He hurt my son and by extension, my daughter. He pissed me off royally."

"Okay, betrayal and disappointment. Those seem to be the two reasons for hate right now. Personally, it's a load of bull. Find your foster son, apologize, allow him to apologize and we'll see where this goes..." I shrugged.

"That's it?" Matthew scoffed. "You force our opinions out and we don't get yours?"

I narrowed my eyes and felt raw hatred for the bastard child who hurt my baby boy boiling my blood.

"Matthew, trust me, you don't want to understand my thoughts on the little bastard right now," Jack placed a hand on my arm and I sighed to calm down.

Daniel cleared his throat, and Matthew was clearly caught off guard by the intensity of my response.

"I'm going to call Luke Johnson to inform him of recent happenings and get his input." Daniel sighed.

"Great, ask the shrink," Jack said flatly.

"You have to admit though, Hun, mine did wonders," I smiled.

"Fair enough," he shrugged, kissing my head.

Matthew still had a cautious gaze, but he said nothing.

Cody POV

The bus rolled to a stop.

That morning, I got to the station at three to find that there actually weren't any buses going where I needed until five, and it would take about four and a half hours to get where I needed to go. Which raised the question-was going here the best idea?

I got off of the bus, gripping my cell phone in my hand an looked around. I was back where I didn't want to be. The Temple residence was about twenty minutes away. Dr. Luke Johnson was about five minutes away. I wanted to go to Luke, because he'd understand. But the Temples could not know I was here. Neither could Daniel and Elliot, actually.

I looked at my phone to see it tell me what I already knew: neither Daniel or Elliot noticed I was gone. Or if they did, they didn't care. I really didn't know what to expect. I did think Daniel cared more for me than this. He at least stopped to listen to my side of the story before yelling at me.

I grabbed the straps of the backpack and started walking to Luke's office. I slid my phone in my pocket and sighed. As much as I loved it there, with Daniel and Elliot, I didn't think I could ever come back. Matt would guarantee that my life was worse than Hell, and Max wouldn't talk to me. Kara may say something, but she would side with her boyfriend. They wouldn't ever let me be happy again. Despite the heat, I shivered. I wanted to have a home, I really did. Daniel's family just wasn't it. Not anymore.

Air conditioning swept over me as I walked into the office building that housed Luke's practice. I walked up the stairs and paused at the door labeled, "Luke Johnson, PhD-Child Psychiatrist." If I went inside, then I was admitting that I was broken. The handle shook as I touched it and the door swung open.

"Oh, hello Cody," Luke's wife said. "I didn't know Luke was expecting anyone this morning."

"He's not," I muttered.

She fiddled with her wedding ring glancing at the little kid hiding behind her leg, "I'm sorry, Cody. Luke should be open for a few hours. Josh, don't do that. I've got to go," Alexa Johnson smiled sadly. "Good luck, Cody. Goodbye."

I stepped out of her way, watching the one year old toddle after her. I sighed and walked into Luke's office.

He looked up from his stack of papers when I came in, "Cody, what are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?" I mumbled.

Luke stood up and led me into his work room. I spent enough time here that I was comfortable slinking down onto his couch while he sat in the chair. I glanced around the room. He had a few copies of his book, stacked neatly on his desk, right next to his phone. I looked back at Luke. He folded his legs under him, looked just as relaxed as I was. Part of me wondered if this was something he was taught or something he did himself.

"Your appointment isn't until sometime next week," Luke stated. He raised an eyebrow. "So what's up? Where's Daniel? He usually comes with you to these."

"That's," I paused, "part of the reason."

My story sprouted from my lips, starting from when I came out to Daniel and Elliot. I also have him just enough back story with Isaiah for him to understand why I did what I did when I kissed him. Throughout the story, Luke seemed to flutter through emotions. The biggest reactions to what I said came from me telling him what happened when I was raped and when I told him that I stole a few hundred dollars and came straight here.

"I have to call Daniel and Elliot and tell them you're here," Luke said a few minutes after I finished. "They're your legal guardians and I'm obligated to them."

"Can't you be obligated to not tell them for a few days?" I begged. "I really don't want to deal with them until I get my head figured out."

Luke bit his lip, "I'll make you a deal. I won't call them, but if they call me, then I'll tell them you're here and safe, but you don't want to talk or see them for the time being. Is that a fair trade?"

"Sure," I muttered.

Luke smiled softly, "Good. Now, let's talk for a bit."

Time passed quickly with Luke. It always seemed to fly by when he and I talked. Despite me always making fun of him and the way he was doing things, I still loved coming here. I didn't have anything to prove to Luke. I just admitted to cheating on my boyfriend with my ex-foster brother ex-boyfriend, and he didn't look at me like I was a freak or a bitch or a bastard. He looked at me like I was a kid who just needed some help. I was a kid who just wanted some help.

Then the phone rang.

Luke went over and picked it up, "Dr. Johnson's office, Luke Johnson speaking."

There was a pause before he looked at me, "Hello, Daniel. May I put you on speaker? I've got some papers to tidy up before my next appointment?"

He punched a button and Daniel's voice came over the phone. "Has Cody contacted you recently?"

"How recently?" Luke asked, leaning against his desk, "I'm assuming you mean since our last meeting."

"Exactly," Daniel sighed. "He ran away last night and took some money. I was hoping he came to you. Gods, I'm worried about him."

Luke looked at me, his eyebrows raised in a way that said, 'I told you so.' He coughed, "Yes, Cody has talked to me this morning."

"He did?" I could hear the relief in his voice. It made me feel sick. "Thank goodness. I was worried he got hurt. Do you know where he went?"

"We don't care!" I heard Matt yell over the phone. "Let him stay lost."

I stood up and made my way to the door. I wasn't going to listen to some douchebag insult me. Not when I had the power to keep running from it. That's all I would ever do, a voice in my head taunted, just run away.

"Cody, wait!" Luke called after me.

"Matthew, quiet" Daniel started at the same time before pausing. "Cody's still with you?"

I ran my hand through my hair. I really didn't want to talk to him. I thanked the gods that Luke intervened. "He doesn't want to talk to you, any of you right now."

"I see," Daniel sounded strained. "Did he leave?"

Luke looked over at me, and I nodded. "He walked out."

"You didn't stop him?" Daniel yelled over the phone.

"We're not finished talking. He'll come back in when we're done with our call," Luke looked at me. "Is there anything you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him," Daniel's voice faded out, "tell him that we want him to come home. Elliot and I miss him, a lot."

"I'll let him know," Luke said softly.

"Will you ask him to call us when he feels ready?" Daniel said suddenly.

"Of course. Goodbye, Daniel."

"Bye."

Luke set the phone back on the hook. He went back to his chair and sat down. Luke expected me to stay here and keep talking about Daniel's phone call. I was on the wall about what he said. Why didn't he call me first? Why did Luke get a phone call?

I went back to the couch and sat down, "Why didn't he call me?"

"I don't know," Luke shrugged. "Daniel's weird like that. Are you sure he didn't call you?"

I pulled my phone out and showed him the blank screen, "No incoming call history from Daniel."

"He's weird," Luke commented, "but he is concerned about you."

"And I'm concerned about my safety," I rolled my eyes. "Which is why I don't want to go back."

"Even though you heard Daniel."

I shrugged, "Basically."

Luke looked at me, "How's your music going? Do you have your score with you?"

"I may have sort of left it Daniel's," I mumbled.

"May I ask why?"

"I don't want it," I folded my arms. "I thought it'd be finished by now. I just can't write anymore."

"Can you tell me why you don't want to write?"

"My muse broke," I whispered. "The last movement was going to be called Recovery. It was going to be born of love and life and trust and joy but."

"But that's gone now," Luke finished for me. "The love and joy has vanished."

"You see my problem with finishing the song?" I asked bitterly. "I just don't want to deal with the emotions. I'll just sell the parts or something."

"Look," Luke sat up and looked at me. "You don't have any place to stay, correct?"

"No," I sighed.

Luke stood and went to his desk and wrote something on a piece of paper. He walked back to me and handed it to me. "This is the address of a good friend of mine. He helped me get through a time in my life I'd rather not remember. His name is Seth."

I looked at the paper in my hand, "I can't read this."

"My handwriting isn't that bad," Luke smiled. "Do you want me to call him?"

I shrugged, "Is he nice?"

Luke just grinned and pulled out his personal cellphone. The ruby bracelet on wrist seemed to glow as he punched a number in. He pulled the phone to his ear, "Hey Seth...I've been busy, you know how it goes...No I didn't think about that...what are you doing on a road trip to the national parks?...Oh, I see... No, I don't want a postcard. I really just want to...never mind, Seth. Keep in touch. Alright, bye."

"That was weird," I commented as Luke slid his phone into his pocket.

"Tell me about it," Luke grumbled. "He's on vacation. In Utah. So I guess his house is out."

"I can manage," I stood up and grabbed my bag. "There's a motel a few blocks away. I have enough money to stay there for a few days."

Luke crossed his arms, "If that's what you want to do. But I think at some point you need to call Daniel back. He is legitimately concerned about you. I could hear it in his voice."

"I'll think about it," I said, shrugging my bag over my shoulder. "Thank you for your time."

"My door is open," Luke called as I left the room.

I walked out of the office and out into the street. It was about noon, and my stomach was yelling at me. It was time to find some food. Luckily, there was a chain fast food restaurant conveniently on every street corner, so I was able to remedy my stomach's growls quickly.

The motel was across the street. It wasn't too big, just a simple one floor layout with about thirty rooms. I sighed before walking inside. Truth be told, the outside, complete with fake trees and browning grass, looked better than the inside. The inside had this hideous carpet that reminded me of a school. The wooden desk was faded, and I gulped. This place was freaking me out. This motel was still my only place to stay for the next few days.

There was a young, blonde haired woman behind the desk. She looked up at me from over her magazine. "Can I help you?"

"I need a room," I said softly.

"And how old are you?" She asked, setting the magazine down.

"Fourteen," I answered.

"Sorry," she replied, picking her magazine back up, "you have to be eighteen to rent one."

"Please, ma'am," I begged. "Dr. Johnson told me to come here temporarily. I can pay for it, and it's only a few days."

"Dr. Johnson?" She raised an eyebrow. "Hold on for a moment. What was your name?"

"Cody," I replied.

She grabbed the phone off of her desk and pushed in a number. She talked in hushed tones, purposely keeping me in the dark. I set my bag down and started to grab some of the money. I wasn't sure how much it was per night but three hundred dollars should be more than enough for a few days. The woman put the phone back on its cradle.

"You check out, Cody," she grabbed a room key from somewhere under the desk and put it on the top near me. "The rooms are thirty five a night, we don't do meals, and we have a maid come through every other day. She should be in tomorrow. Your room is outside, last door on the left."

I grabbed the key which was attached to a little piece of plastic with the room number labeled onto it. Room fourteen, funny.

"Thank you," I muttered before pulling my bag over my shoulder again. I followed her instructions and let myself into the room. It smelled funny, like dust and loneliness. The room was perfect for me. I dropped my bag on the queen bed and sat down on it. It wasn't until I was finally sitting did I notice how drained and empty I felt. I was running on maybe two hours of sleep and adrenaline and an outstanding lack of emotion.

I rested my head on the pillow and tried to get to sleep. Sleep...it seemed like a wonderful idea. I grabbed the other pillow on the bed and held it tight against my body and imagined it was Max, and that I wasn't alone.

"Love you Max."

I'm pretty certain I fell asleep crying, finally coming to terms with everything that happened.

14: Missing You

Max POV

I was still fully aware of my surroundings, but no matter how loud I mentally screamed for my mouth to work, no utterances were made. I painted and painted. That was my only way I could speak. My hands formed words about as well as my mouth when I became like this.

I was under a mental siege.

I lifted my hand to paint. They were all so different, yet they were all the same.

A chord echoed through the house. I froze... my hand an inch from the canvas. I knew that chord. So terrifying and beautiful as it continued into a disturbingly beautiful movement. The shifting, haunting tones intertwined to make a fast paced masterpiece.

Rape... Cody...

Was trembling. My face still blank, but my hands and shoulders betrayed the emotions rushing through my mind.

It started with hurt, and slowly morphed into anger and hate. I began breathing hard as my hate turned into sadness and realization that I may have jumped to conclusions. Regret. Cody was in pain, and I was too selfish to see that.

I quickly set my brush down.

I missed him. I wanted Codes back. Tears cascaded down my blank and emotionless face.

Someone was now transitioning to the second movement. He hadn't finished this movement yet.

It transitioned into Loss so easily. He was a genius.

I listened to the soft lulls of lost hope. The end of the light. The pure darkness left a feeling of emptiness. Always open fifths, missing a crucial note to complete the chord. My mind searched for the missing, finding nothing.

I found my hand on the cold metal door knob, turning. When did I stand? When did I walk? I can't remember this...

I followed the melody to the living room, halting when I found Papa gently gliding his fingers across the ivory.

He continued. I found my tears falling freely, my face was still blank, searching for an emotion to portray, but there were too many.

Papa's hands stopped and I sighed, longing for more. I shuddered as I inhaled.

"Max?" Papa's eyes were wide.

My bottom lip quivered.

"I want Cody..." I sobbed, collapsing onto my knees. Finally I was completely engulfed in a feeling of loss and misery. I was the chord searching for its missing note. I need to recover. This composition needed to become a duet. I needed Cody back.

15: Music

Cody POV

I spent four days in the motel or at Luke's office. Despite his best attempts, I hadn't called Daniel and Elliot yet, even though my phone was yelling at me every few hours with a new text message from Daniel usually. I kept ignoring them. There was something good that came from it: I found my muse. It was different for the new music I was writing. They were season pieces. The one I just finished writing I called "Temptations of Summer."

I looked down at the papers, all the circles and symbols dancing across the page. Ink dripped from the pen as I scribbled my name across the top corner of the page, marking it as a Cody Evans original. I gripped the pages tightly and stood. Today, I thought grimly, I will call Daniel. I wanted to go home now.

I grabbed my bag and slid it on my shoulders. All I needed to do was go pay for the room and make a detour to Luke's office before adventuring out while I waited for Daniel to come. He would, nine out of ten times. I just hoped I wouldn't call him on a day where he wouldn't be allowed to come as quickly as he could.

The woman who I met on the first day I arrived as sitting behind the desk again. She looked up from her newest magazine and smile. "Can I help you?"

"I'm checking out," I shrugged the bag off my shoulder and began to dig for twenty or fifty dollar bills. I set the key on the desk. "How much?"

She was quiet for a moment typing something into a calculator, "$140.00. Do you have that much?"

I grabbed the right amount and set the bills on the counter, "I do."

"Just got to double count this," she scooped the money up and counted it. She ripped off a receipt from her calculator and handed it to me, "Thanks for staying with us. Have a nice day."

She pulled her magazine back up as I left the motel. I looked at the receipt in my hand. Over two hundred dollars I spent on this run away, and I had no way to pay it back. How was I supposed to get that sort of money? Actually, I knew exactly how, but my problem was I didn't know how to make that happen. But first, I needed a copy machine.

Luke told me he would be in a meeting until about ten that morning. If I called Daniel while I was with Luke, he still wouldn't be here until 4, assuming he drove the speed limit. I walked into Luke's lobby, where his receptionist, Alvin, sat behind a computer. He looked up at me.

"Hey there Cody," he smiled. "Luke's in a meeting and will be for another hour. Are you just going to wait?"

"Actually, can I borrow your copy machine?"

He looked at me, confused. "Sure. Why?"

I handed him "Temptations of Summer" and looked at the ground. Alvin went about and began to copy the song. I smiled. If I kept the original and dated at officially somehow, then maybe I could sell it. It was probably stupid, I mean the music wasn't that good. I could never make money back on this.

Alvin brought me a copy and the original. "You wrote this?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"I'm just a humble pianist," Alvin smiled as he handed me my music, "but that is some beautiful music you have."

I'm pretty sure I blushed, "Thank you."

He smiled and went back to his desk, "You're just going to hang out?"

"No," I coughed a few times. "Where's the closest music store? I need to make sure this sounds good before doing anything with it."

"Oh, you need a little music shop then," Alvin picked up a pencil and proceeded to bite the end of it. "Just down the street. It's just a little place about five blocks away. They take interest in young artists. I'm sure they'd be willing to let you check your music there."

Alvin wrote down the name of the shop and simple directions on how to get there. He wished me good luck as I left the office and walked towards my goal. He was right when he said it was small. Among the giant buildings and large shops, this store was an outcast. I pushed the door open to see a few men in their forties talking over a counter. On the other side of the room, a baby grand was nestled amongst boxes of music. The man behind the counter looked up at me.

"Welcome to my store," he said brightly. "Can I help you?"

"I was," my mouth was dry, "can I play on your piano?"

The man smiled, his eyes bright, "Of course you can."

"Thank you," I swallowed and walked over to the piano.

I pulled my song copy out of my bag and sat it on the piano and began to play. I lost myself in the music. "Temptations of Summer" was meant to help me catalogue all of my emotions. It started as a cheerful, happy thing that slowly transitioned into something darker. I felt my betrayal dance through the air and my fear as I ran. Everything was ending, destroying, burning, and it was nearly over. I hit my favorite minor chord and let the music resonate before cutting it off.

"I don't recognize that piece," the man behind the counter sad when I finished. "Quite devastatingly beautiful. What is it?"

"'Temptations of Summer' by Cody Evans," I mumbled. "It's an original."

Both men looked at me. The one closest to me walked over and looked over my shoulder. "You wrote that?"

I nodded.

"And how old are you?"

"Fourteen."

The man offered me his hand, "My name is Xavier Reynolds. I help get the work of young artists out to the world, and your talent deserves to be shared. Would you be willing to sell me the rights to your song?"

I blinked a few times. Apparently this was easier than I thought it would be. I looked at the music sitting on the piano. How many people would be listening and playing the music of Cody Evans before the end of the year, or the decade. I rubbed my sleeves and sighed.

"I'm willing to pay you three hundred right now and ten percent of the future sales," Xavier said quickly when he noticed my hesitation.

My jaw dropped. That was a lot of money. I could pay Daniel and Elliot back with that. Daniel would be shocked to know that I could fend for myself. I shook his hand. "Gods, really?"

"Yes," Xavier led me over to the counter. "I want to record you playing it, if that's alright."

"It's fine," I grinned widely.

"Great," Xavier put my song on the counter. He wrote my name on the bottom of it and signed it. "We'll just need your parents to come in and sign a few things."

I paled.

"Is there something wrong with that?" He asked.

"My foster parents aren't here," I mumbled under my breath."

"What?"

"My foster parents aren't here," I said louder and clearer. "They probably won't be here for hours at best."

"Oh," Xavier cleared his throat. He handed me his card. "When they get into town, call me. We'll set up an appointment for you and your guardian to sign the documents."

"I'm sorry, sir," I whispered, putting the card in my pocket.

"It's fine, Mr. Evans," Xavier beamed. "However, while I have you here, would you be willing to play it again? It just plays to the soul in a way I haven't heard in a long time. You, Cody Evans, will be a name that all pianists know if they consider themselves educated

The paleness shifted quickly into bright red cheeks of a blush, "Thank you. I'll play it right now."

And so I started, getting lost in the music of my soul.

"When did he say he was coming?" I asked, pacing around Luke's office.

"Three," he responded. He was flipping through a notebook, occasionally doodling in the margins. "It's 3:02 and I imagine that there may have been some traffic. Or if he sped he got a ticket. Just breathe, Cody, Daniel doesn't forget his promises."

"I know," I stopped pacing and sat on the couch. My finger tapped steadily on my leg. "I don't know how he's going to react to me, though. Or to the fact that Xavier is offering to buy my song. My meeting with him is in ten minutes!"

"Well, he sounded excited when we called. He'll be here and you'll get your song sold." he held up his note pad to show me a poorly drawn stick figure pulling his hair out. "I like it."

"Is that supposed to be me?"

"Any relation to people, living or dead, is coincidental and all events are fictional," Luke said brightly. "I call it, 'Pacer Boy.' Completely different."

"I call garbage," I sighed.

The door creaked open. I looked behind me to see a rather flustered Daniel walk into the office. Luke walked over and stood between where Daniel stood and I sat. He looked over at me, motioning to have me move. I stood up carefully and looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry," I choked out. "I didn't know what else to do. There was just so much pain and hate and-"

I didn't get the chance to finish, due to the bear hug Daniel enveloped me in. My eyes began to leak as we stood, Daniel humming in the back of his throat. He didn't let me go and I didn't want him to. I liked this, I liked it a lot.

"Doesn't matter," Daniel said after a while. "It's a few hundred dollars. It's material and unimportant. I'm just glad you're safe."

"You're not mad?"

"No, not mad," Daniel whispered. "I'm disappointed in myself for not trying to stop you. We made the same decision, back when I was your age."

"But I stole from you," I whispered.

"Not important," Daniel let go of me and smiled. "Elliot and I need to talk to you. He's back home, and we should probably get going."

"Actually," Luke coughed, getting our attention, "I do believe Cody has some news."

Daniel raised an eyebrow, "News?"

"We kind of sort of have to get to a little music store five minutes away from here in three minutes," I mumbled. "Someone there is interested in buying my music."

Daniel's mouth fell open. "When did you have time to write something else?"

I shrugged, "It came quickly. But he needs you to sign things so I can sell it."

His face turned into a smile, "Then we need to get going. My car is where it usually is."

I grabbed my bag off of the floor and grinned. I'd finally be able to pay back Daniel as soon as we got there. I looked at Luke, "Thank you for helping me."

"My pleasure," the bracelet on his wrist seemed to glow, and it just seemed to fit in. "Call me if you need anything."

"Thank you, Luke," Daniel said softly. "We owe you one."

"Just doing my best," Luke held out his hand. "He's a good kid with a good heart. Trust him, just a little bit."

Daniel took his hand, "I know. Thank you again."

I walked to the car with Daniel right behind me. If we drove quickly, then we'd only be a few minutes late for the meeting. Daniel didn't say much as we drove towards the music shop. I kept pointing him in the right direction. We arrived in the store about four and a half minutes after we were supposed to be there. Xavier and Daniel exchanged pleasantries.

"Mr. James-Erikson, you're Cody's guardian? Are you aware of the musical potential he has? You must, for his level of training."

"He's never played before a few months ago," Daniel admitted. "But he's got great talent."

"He does," Xavier nodded. "Now, let's talk business."

I got bored as the adults spat numbers and percentages back and forth. Until that point, I wasn't sure if Daniel knew anything about business. He kept a cool head and kept talking, before finally calling me over. Thank the gods, I was done waiting.

"Three hundred fifty down payment," Daniel said, "plus fifteen percent of royalties of sheet music and fifty percent of MP3 downloads."

I stared at the two adults. Xavier and Daniel had shared smiled on their faces. That could be a lot of money. Daniel rested his hand on my shoulder. I walked to the desk and saw the paper all filled out and ready for me and Daniel to sign. This was actually going to happen to me.

"Mr. James-Erikson," Xavier started.

"Daniel," he corrected.

"Daniel," Xavier corrected, "I need you to sign here, here, and here. Cody, I just need you to sign here."

Daniel scribbled his name on the paper as my guardian. He handed me a really nice pen, and I held it in my hand. A quick signature and my music would be shared with everybody. My name on a piece of paper would make my name known. I pressed the pen on the paper and signed. Truth be told, I didn't know what to expect after I handed the pen back to Xavier. I think I expected lights or something.

Instead, all I had was Xavier leading me back to the piano, "I'm going to need to record you playing a few times so we can find the most pure version we can get."

I sat down and started to play.

"I'm proud of you," Daniel said as we passed the three hour mark in our drive. "I didn't know you could write like that."

"You didn't?"

"I knew you could write music," he amended. "But I haven't heard anything but that song and Jack's rendition of your other one."

I tapped the window. "It's not done yet."

"Max thought so," Daniel sighed. "He says its missing something."

"Recovery," I sighed, "it's missing Recovery."

Daniel nodded his head, "I told Elliot to have Matt spend tonight with the Frost's. You're going to have to deal with him eventually."

"I'll deal with it on my own terms," I muttered.

"And Max?"

I closed my eyes, "I love him, Daniel. I just don't know if he loves me back. Does Matt know I'm coming back tonight?"

"No," Daniel said carefully. "Why?"

"I want to talk to Max before Matt realizes what's going on. I need to apologize for being an asshole."

"If I could arrange to have Max come over, with Isaac's consent, what would you do?"

"Apologize, hate myself, plead for forgiveness," I muttered. "I don't know. I want forgiveness, but I don't know how to. I don't think words are quite enough."

"When words fail you, Cody," Daniel looked over at me for a brief second before looking back at the road, "why not try singing?"

An idea ignited in my mind. "When will we be home?"

"Around eight, if we don't stop for dinner," Daniel answered. "Why?"

"I need a pencil and paper, Internet, and a piano."

"There's a notebook and a pen in the back," Daniel reached into his pocket. "My phone has Internet connection. What are you planning? Why do you need a piano?"

"Do you have one?"

"We bought a keyboard," Daniel admitted. "Will that work?"

"Yes," I smiled, "it will."

16: Apologies

Cody POV

I sat at the keyboard, running over my plan one more time. Daniel said Isaac was going to bring Max over to the house in about twenty minutes. Elliot told me that Max had come over before, just to sit and escape his sister and paint more.

I didn't know he was an artist.

The keyboard was set up in the corner of my bedroom. My fingers were trembling more than ever, even more than when my music was recorded for Xavier to sell. In my mind, this was far more important than making money. I hit the keyboard with my head and groaned with anticipation.

"Can I talk to you before Max comes over?" Elliot asked, standing in the doorway.

I sighed, "Sure."

Elliot came in and sat in the bed, his gray eyes seemed to look through me and into my soul. It was really uncomfortable.

"Four hundred dollars is a lot of money, Cody," Elliot folded his arms. "You didn't spend it all, did you?"

I shook my head, "I couldn't. The rest is my bag. I'm going to pay you back, I promised."

"How?" Elliot continued to glare at me.

"I didn't just sell my song for my sake. I needed money to pay you back, apparently I'm good enough. You should have your money by next week."

He was silent, "I really don't care if you pay us back. I'm glad you have the decency to try to make amends. I just want to know why you ran, and why you let Luke Johnson tell us where you were."

"If I stayed, then Matt would have killed me," I turned the keyboard off and played through Temptations to calm myself. "He's probably still going to kill me after he finds out I'm back. Before I die, I wanted to apologize to Max. He deserves a real apology and someone who isn't going to do this to him."

"Matt's rage is similar to Daniel's," Elliot sighed. "It's really dangerous. I don't know what I did to hurt him, but he decided I was his enemy and nearly broke my arm. Luckily he came to his senses before anything was serious was done. Daniel has learned to control it. Matt has no off button. If it comes out..."

"So I'm basically going to be hurt by him," I muttered.

"Not necessarily," Elliot tried to back track and amend his statement. "You are going to have to be very cautious trying to apologize to him. To Isaac and Jack as well. I'm going off of what Daniel told me of your talk. He is the only one who saw you before you ran off."

I watched my fingers dance along the keys, the empty click filled the air. "I'll get there eventually. I just...I want Max to know how sorry I am."

"You don't want him back?"

"Gods, I would love if he came back to me," I sighed. "But after all I did to him, he shouldn't come back to me. He deserves so much more than what I can offer him. I love him, but he deserves someone honest and loyal."

Elliot smiled and a warm feeling filled the room, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's meant to be."

"I just hope he comes back," I muttered, ending Temptations. "I'd honestly settle with him just talking to me."

"Love isn't always easy," Elliot said softly. He pushed off of my bed and stood. "I know about love squabbles. I hope Max can forgive you."

"Thanks Elliot," I smiled.

"One another thing," Elliot paused before exiting. "I apologize for what I said that night. It was not appropriate for me to say."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not," Elliot gripped the doorway. "Don't pretend that it is. I should have never said that. You're one of my sons, and that should have never happened."

I didn't completely know what to say. In my heart, I knew what I wanted to say. I knew how I felt. I just couldn't say it. Instead, I got up and walked over to Elliot. He looked at me, his smile radiating throughout the room. I threw my arms around him and smiled. Daniel understood me, but Elliot was more comforting. He was just more alive.

Elliot hugged me back, "I really do care about you, Cody. You're one of my boys now."

"Thanks, Elliot."

"I've got to give Daniel a hand," Elliot let go of me and smiled. "Max will be here in a few minutes. Good luck."

I blinked a few times, looking back at the keyboard. I thought I had a plan, but I was beginning to doubt it. My plan was to talk to Max and then play my apology, and maybe even Temptations of Summer. I sat down on the piano and groaned. Maybe I should practice. I wasn't the best singer, but I thought I could handle this.

So, I started to play. The chord progression was loud and sudden. I could feel my wrists start to cramp with the base line. I wasn't looking forward to singing, but run it happened. The song was Loyalty, sung by the same man who did Kindness. I kept going, singing my soul into the song. My mind went blank, and then was filled with the music. Vaguely, I was aware of someone entering the room, but I ignored it and kept singing.

"I could save my lonely soul for you. But the feeling in my heart can't follow through. You can give your broken heart to me, cause you know that I'll stay with you. That's why they call me loyalty."

With a flick of the wrist, I started into Kindness. This was a much softer sound, much gentler, kinder. I played a few bars of the intro and continued my song. "There's a chance that I could fall and not come back. And never regret a thing. I'd never get back on track."

I slowed my playing down, my memory full of Max's deep voice singing this that very first day I met him. I had to finish practicing. Max would be here soon.

"Darkness all around me, and I can't find the light. I let it all surround me, giving up without a fight. The bitterness and pain inside, countless tears I had to cry. I was facing all my fears, just to let you in to dry my tears. But your kindness won't betray me. I feel your heart and soul. Your kindness still can save me, I choose to not let go."

I felt my voice break on the last phrase. I stopped playing, the words echoing in my mind. These lyrics I picked for a reason, from both songs. I cried a lot to get comfortable enough with Max to let him get close to me. I made a bad choice, and I did choose to let go of Max. It was a decision that was now haunting me.

From behind me, someone else started singing. Not just anybody else, but Max. "Stretching out you somehow reach me. I know this can't be wrong, I'm ready, won't you teach me your song of kindness?"

I froze, just like I did that first time months ago. Every instinct was telling me to turn around and tell Max how sorry I was. But I started playing it again, letting Max finally have the opportunity to sing this song with an accompanist, and as a duet.

Like all good songs it came to an end, leaving Max and me in my bedroom, no real connections made yet. Breathe Cody, just turn around and say you're sorry. Let Max know you regret everything. Let him know how sorry you are and that you understand if he doesn't want to talk.

"Did I do something wrong?" Max's soft and raspy voice asked from behind me.

To say he looked bad was an understatement. Red paint covered his jeans and shirt. He had dark circles under his eyes. The normal green that looked at me was a gross color, like a poison or something. He looked tired and done. He was ready for us to talk.

"No!" I shook my head. "Isaiah... He helped me through a time when I wasn't alright with being touched, and I never thought I'd see you again..."

It hurt to talk about this. I don't think anyone really knew the depth of my relationship with Isaiah. He cried with me when I would wake up with nightmares. He kept my music a secret. He loved me.

We didn't end on good terms though, now or back then. At the moment, I really didn't want to deal with Isaiah, not anymore. Any feelings I had for him shattered when I saw Max's face that day.

"Then be with him, because I'd rather be alone and scared than between you and your happiness."

Max's voice was cold, his eyes determined and icy. I resisted shivering and walked over to him. I reached out to touch his arm, but he pulled away from me. He pulled his arms across his chest, and I watched the pain grow across his face.

"I'm not happy," I answered. "If I was, I wouldn't be here."

Max didn't say anything, but did turn around. I saw the water in his eyes. Gently, I placed my hand on his arm, and he didn't pull away, he just stood silently.

"I messed up, and I know I did. I shouldn't have had reacted to him like I did. I was stupid to give what we had up. I'm sorry, Max."

"Why?" Max looked at me. "Why?"

"I wish I had an answer. All I can say is that it shouldn't of happened. I got caught up in the moment and was an idiot. Isaiah, I cared about him. And we had a connection. I just wish he hasn't come back."

"If he shows up again," Max led softly.

"He won't," I said firmly. "I may have slapped him and told him to not come back."

A smile threatened to reveal itself, but quickly went away. "Codes, I don't know if we can get over this."

"I know," I sighed. I was cheering on the inside. Max used my nickname. It was progress. "I don't know either. All I'm asking is for us to at least be friends."

"Codes," Max smiled and hugged me, "can I call you Loyalty?"

"Weird nickname," I commented, pulling him against me. I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling his warmth. "Why?"

"Because I know that you'll stay with me," Max muttered. "That's why they call you Loyalty."

I don't know how long we stood in my room, just feeling the relief of being together again filling us both. Eventually we broke apart and sat on my bed. Max was slightly nervous as we sat in silence. It was a comfortable silence, to an extent. I did have a question though.

"Since when do you paint?" I asked.

Max looked down at his clothes. "Oh, awhile. I paint sometimes. It's like your piano thing."

"So why are you covered in like a thousand shades of red?"

Max shrugged, "Red is a good color. Vibrant."

I smiled and rested on his shoulder. "We should go and tell Isaac and Elliot and Daniel that we made up."

Max laughed. "They probably figured it out, since I haven't stormed out of here and there's no screaming."

"Maybe," I smiled. "I wouldn't be surprised if they were sitting outside listening to us."

"Dad wouldn't," Max said firmly. "But I wouldn't put it past Daniel."

"Exactly."

Max and I stood up. He grabbed my hand and smiled, "What time is it?"

I shrugged, "Late. Nine thirty or ten."

"Matt's probably worried that I'm 'alone' for so long," he made the air quotes with one hand. "He doesn't like it when I paint."

"Are you good at painting?" I asked as we walked out of my room.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Since when did you learn how to sing?"

I paused at the abrupt topic change. "I picked it up. I'm not good at it, at all."

Max grinned, "Well it's the thought that counts."

"Shut up," I blushed.

We walked into the kitchen to find all the adults looking at us anxiously. Daniel had a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. Elliot was holding Daniel's free hand and Isaac was just staring at us. It was Max that eventually said something.

"Do I have something in my teeth?" He asked with a grin.

It was like the heavy air in the room dissipated. Isaac jumped up and hugged Max tightly. Max let himself be crushed, giving me a small smile before pushing Isaac away from him. He stuck his hands in his pockets.

"All better?" Max smiled.

"I was really worried about you," Isaac's eyes were alive with emotion. "You just disappeared from us until yesterday. We were so-"

"I know Dad," Max cut him off swiftly. He glanced at me before looking back to Isaac. "I'm okay now."

Isaac seemed to catch an unspoken direction from Max. "We've missed you."

Max looked down at the ground, "I missed Cody."

I blushed and mimicked Max. I heard Daniel chuckle and my ears burned too. Gods, they were embarrassing. Max looked over at me and grabbed my hand again.

"What do you plan to do about Matt?" Isaac asked, looking at me. "He's out for your blood."

"I'll let him have it," I muttered.

Max looked up at me, "Please don't hurt him. He's still my friend."

I was confused, "What do you mean? He's out for my blood, and he can have it. I don't want to hurt him. Matt has every right to hate me.

Max gripped my arm, "Don't let him hurt you."

"I don't think I'll have a choice," I responded. "He's determined to hurt me since I hurt you. But if I can talk sense into him quickly."

"Matt's stubborn," Elliot muttered. "But if he hurts you, tell us immediately."

"I'll deserve it."

The room burst into arguments about how I didn't deserve it. Max stayed silent. I moved his hand off of my arm and smiled softly, ignoring the adults. "Go home, Max. I'm tired."

Max nodded, "Night, Codes."

"Good night, Maxie."

He grinned and walked away, grabbing Isaac and pulling him out of the house. Daniel and Elliot looked up at me. Daniel stifled a yawn and stood. He walked to the sink and put his mug in the sink. The air seemed heavy in the room. Elliot sighed, his shoulders slumped as if a weight was sitting on them.

"You're really going to talk to Matt, aren't you?" Elliot asked wearily.

"He's my friend, and it's important that he and I at least talk," I slumped down into a chair and put my forehead on the table. "If I'm going to be seeing him for the next few years, we need to be civil."

"But you can't let him do anything to hurt you," Daniel said as he returned to his seat.

I knew I shouldn't be doing anything to try and make my life miserable. Matt could smash me into a pulp if he wanted to. And right now, he wanted to. He was furious when I left Max's when I did. Vanishing probably didn't help my cause. But I did need to confront Matt, and if I got hurt, then at least I tried. I owed it to Max to at least try to amend my issues with Matt.

"Okay," I lied. "I want to talk to him. At the Frost's, near Max."

Elliot raised his eyebrow, "Do you want us to come?"

"No."

I had to fight some battles by myself. Matt was going to be hard to convince that I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Would he understand that sometimes my heart got carried away and shut down my brain? He may have a crush on someone, but he doesn't know what it was like to have someone verbally show love and affection back.

"If you think you can handle it," Daniel shrugged.

I yawned, the stress of today finally breaking through the adrenaline of Max's forgiveness and its anxiety. Elliot smiled, "Go to bed Cody."

"Kay," I muttered.

It had been quite the day. It seemed like a lifetime ago I signed over Temptations, even though it had only been a few hours. Weird. I stood up and walked into my room. The keyboard was still set up. I decided to put it away tomorrow. I changed lazily before landing on top of my covers, have the first real peaceful sleep I'd had for a few days.

My cellphone buzzed next to my head. Vibrations were loud, despite how they were meant to be silent. The vibrating kept going and I realized I was getting a phone call. Who called at-I didn't even know what time it was. I found the answer key and held it up to my ear.

"Hello?" My tired voice drifted into the receiver.

"Morning Codes," Max happy voice was too loud in my ear.

"Too loud," I groaned. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Like eleven," Max said unsure. "Wait, did I wake you up?"

I refused to answer. I just sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. I heard Max laugh on the other end. "I did. Why aren't you up yet?"

"It's summer," I growled. "I'm up now, though."

"Do you want to come over?" Max asked.

"Sure," I stretched and stood up.

"Just make sure you come around back," Max said suddenly. "Matt and Kara are in the front."

"Kay," I stood up and started to search for clothes. "I need to get ready. And eat. And yeah."

"You're exhausted, aren't you?"

"Maybe," I sighed. "Give me like a half an hour and I'll be over."

"Back door," Max reminded me.

"Okay. I'll see you soon."

"Love you, Codes."

"Love you too," I smiled into the phone.

I heard the phone click off and threw my phone on the bed. I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom. I stood under the hot water and thought about what I needed to do. At some point I needed to talk to Matt. Maybe it would be best if I confronted him in a neutral place. Or maybe it would be best if it was with Max and Kara were there. Kara was gentle and level-minded and Max was on my side.

Sighing. I turned the water of and continued getting ready for my day. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. My hair hung heavily in front of my eyes, still moist. The shirt was a deep blue, and hung loosely on my shoulders. Top it off with some shorts and I'd be ready to go. I walked out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. I walked in and found a note from my caregivers. Turns out Elliot and Daniel were heading up to the Academy of History and Time to talk to some old professors and coworkers on their research paper. I grabbed an apple and walked out the door, pausing momentarily to lock it.

The apple was gone by the time I reached the Frost house. I froze right in front of it, seeing Matt and Kara sitting on the lawn, talking quietly to each other. How the hell did I forget to go around back? Well, now was the time to talk to him. We had witnesses.

I walked across the street, watching as Matt stopped his conversation and watched my approach. He stood up and stalked over to me.

"How dare you," he seethed. I flinched. I hadn't expected Matt to talk first. "You broke his heart... Again! And you betrayed and violated my trust!"

Before anything else happened I felt Matt's fist connect with my jaw. I reeled from the sudden force and I tried to keep my balance. Matt grabbed the front of my shirt.

"Max is practically comatose because of you, you inconsiderate, lying, cheating asshole!"

Obviously he hadn't seen Max yet. He didn't seem comatose to me when we were talking less than an hour ago. I felt my shoulders relax. I knew I hurt Max a lot. I just didn't see him going comatose.

"Matt," I started. "I didn't-".

"You didn't what? You know what, scratch that. I'll show you exactly what you did."

Matt released his hold on my shirt. For a second, I thought I was free and we would he civil. I was wrong. Matt grabbed the back of my neck and squeezed as he pushed me into the house. Kara was freaked out, I noticed as I fought the pain. Mat squeezed harder and I yelped.

He led me into Max's room and tossed me onto the futon thing that he usually slept on. I rubbed the back of my neck. I hadn't felt this sore since...well since then. Matt grabbed one of nine paintings in the room and forced it into my hand. It was beautiful. Streaks of red went across the top, turning the sky into a fierce red. In the center sat Max, his head in his hands and it looked like he was crying blood. Max was surrounded by red flowers. Kara ran into the room as Matt started to yell at me.

"Max doesn't paint or do anything remotely artistic unless he is under great emotional stress. This picture was painted after you decided to pull your little vanishing act." Matt looked at me, his eyes blazing. "Rubies are the stone of love and healing. All the flowers basically come together to say, 'I still love you, but you deceived me so goodbye.'"

I looked at the portrait in my hands. Looking closer, I saw the shaking strokes that filled the canvas. Oh gods, how did Max forgive me? If I had known what he did, I would have apologized but tried to get him to move on. I set the painting on the ground next to me and started to cry. Why was I so good at hurting people? Why was I getting hurt too?

"Don't you dare cry, bitch," Matt growled. "Your tears are worthless."

I ignored Matt and kept sobbing. It was until I was pulled into a standing position by Matt. His finger nails dug through my shirt. I looked up at Matt in time to watch him pull an arm back and land a punch on my nose. Pain flared up in my nose. Blood flowed freely, covering my in the same crimson Max painted with.

"Matt!" Kara screeched. "What the heck are you doing?"

Matt looked at me, the rage in his eyes dimming. I fell back on the futon trying to control the bleeding. Max ran into his room, shortly followed by Isaac and Jack. The adults looked around the room, their eyes wide. Isaac knelt down in front of me.

"What happened?"

Matt looked at me, his rage dimming. I wondered what was running through his mind, if he was regretting doing this or if he was regretting getting caught like this. I looked at Isaac and forced a smile.

"Matt and I were wrestling after we made up."

"Wrestling?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Yes," I winced as I tried to wipe the blood off of my face. "It was just an accidental knee to the nose."

Please, I begged the gods, let them by my story.

Isaac looked at me, and back at Matt. "Be more careful next time. Come with me, let's get this all cleaned up. Max."

Isaac led me to the bathroom while I tried to catch the blood as it fell. We went in and Isaac started handing me towels. "Max, I want you to stay in here with Cody and help him clean up. I'm going to fix up your room."

"Okay, Dad," Max said. Isaac walked out of the bathroom and left us alone. The second he left the room, Max immediately started to fuss over me. I winced. My nose was just a little sensitive at the moment. "Spill."

"Spill what?" I asked.

"What actually happened," Max asked. He traced something along my jaw. "That's not from wrestling."

"Misplaced elbow," I muttered. "It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt."

Max wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. "This wasn't a game, and we all know it. Dad and Papa just didn't want to call you out on it. Why did you let Matt do this?"

"So he could get it out of his system," I sighed. I rested my head on his shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me about your art?"

"It's invalid now. We're together again and that's all that matters," Max whispered into my ear. He kissed my cheek and I just melted into his arms. "Love you, Codes."

"Love you too, Maximilian."

17: Pain in Forgiveness

Matthew POV

My fist hurt. The little bastard had a tough nose, I'd give him that. Jack had "politely" invited me to go to the kitchen. Kara followed me, and I was grateful for it. There was something I couldn't understand-why did Cody lie to protect me? He had nothing to gain by lying. Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought. There had to be a reason, and I needed to figure it out.

"Matt," Kara said softly as I sat down, "why did you do that?"

"He's a prick," I muttered. "He hurt Max too much. How are you forgiving him so easily?"

"I saw how he reacted to the painting," she grabbed an ice pack from the fridge and gave it to me. "I haven't forgiven him completely, but there has to be something decent in him."

"But I saw him kiss that other boy," I winced as the ice pack chilled my skin. "He did it on his own. Sue me for not trusting him."

"But did you need to punch him?"

I was about to answer when Jack walked into the kitchen. His blue eyes shot icicles at me as he sat next to me, "Kara, will you go and see if you can find Cody's song and give it to him?"

She nodded, looking back between me and her father. Kara left the room, offering me an apologetic glance as the only sign that she was on my side.

"Matthew James-Erikson," Jack said, his voice colder than ice, "what the hell did you think you were doing? Did you threaten Cody into lying?"

"No, I didn't," I looked back at him. "What Cody said he said because he wanted to."

"I doubt that," Jack folded his arms. "I don't agree with your methods, but Cody, despite what Isaac says, had that coming."

"What?" I looked at him, eyes wide.

"He hurt my son," Jack shrugged.

"So why are you mad?" I asked, confused.

"I'm furious because Cody lied," Jack shook his head. "What did you threaten him with?"

"I didn't," I tossed the ice pack back on the table. "He lied because he wanted to. Cody has some weird complex where he was okay with me-"

"Say it," Jack seethed. "I approve of it, but you need to embrace it."

"Beating him." Guilt threatened to overtake me, until I remembered Max's broken heart. That shoved the guilt away. "They're back together, aren't they?"

Jack nodded, "Isaac said they made up last night. He also said that Cody knows he has to work hard to regain what he had."

"I don't like it," I muttered.

Jack laughed, "Look, I know you don't like it. I'm not too fond of it either. But Cody wants to make amends, and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt."

I glared at him, "Why? He's just going to hurt Max again."

"You don't know that," Jack shrugged. "Maybe you should let it be. Cody has the chance to prove you wrong."

Jack was bipolar, I swear. He just was pissed at Cody for lying, okay with me beating him up, but wanting me to give Cody a chance. I stood up and left the kitchen, setting off to find Kara. She would have something to say. She and I still disliked Cody. I started up the stairs and Jack poked his head out of the kitchen.

"Don't let your rage hurt my babies," he warned, "if you do..."

Jack let the threat hang in the air. I ignored him and continued to climb. I kept waiting to hear Kara's laugh from somewhere inside the house. As I passed by Max's room, I heard someone crying. I paused, eavesdropping on the conversation happening behind the door.

"I don't want to go home," I heard Cody whimper.

"I know Codes," Max sighed.

"It's just," Cody broke down and I heard loud sobs. "Elliot warned me about this. He said that Matt's rage was worse than Daniel's, and Daniel nearly hurt Elliot when he got mad."

There was silence from the room. I didn't know what was happening inside the room, and it worried me. What was happening?

I heard the higher pitched laugh of Cody, "Stop it."

"Make me."

Cody laughed again. The silence happening right now wasn't the same as it just was. "What if he gets to me at home? I can't lie directly to Elliot and Daniel. They can see right through me."

"So did my parents," Max replied. "But if Matt hurts you, come straight here."

Somebody coughed from behind me. I jumped and saw Isaac holding a towel covered in blood. "Leave them alone."

"Gladly," I muttered, leaving the doorway and continued to look for Kara.

Cody seemed to be staying out of my way, and I was fine with it. Papa and Dad fussed over Cody when they discovered the bit of blood on his shirt and bruise on his jaw. Both my parents knew it didn't happen the way Cody explained it, and that I had more purpose behind it. They didn't contradict Cody, but warned him to be more careful, all while eyeing me darkly.

My foster-brother was spending time in his room with Max, composing music on his infernal keyboard. The bastard only ever seemed to pound on it, and he got praised because of it. Even last night, he got a letter in the mail. Before he opened it, he gave it to Papa and smiled.

"It's yours," he said. "I'm sorry for running."

Dad took the envelope and his jaw dropped. He sent me away before I could figure out what it was. Not that it mattered. The bitch was annoying as hell, now some note screeched through the house. I stood up and barged out of my house, determined to go and see Kara. Max was no longer a friend of mine, since he spent all of his time with a traitor. I reached the Frost house and knocked on the door. Isaac opened the door and looked confused.

"Hello, Matt."

"Is Kara home?" I asked.

Isaac raised an eyebrow. "She said she was going to your house. I thought she was with you."

My eyes narrowed, "Thanks, Isaac."

I turned away and walked back towards my house. Why was Kara there and not tell me? Unless she didn't want me to know and wanted to spend time willing with Cody. I could feel anger coursing through my body. I could control it.

Papa waved as I stormed through the kitchen. I wondered if he knew I was really mad at Kara at the moment. Laughter rang through the halls, originating from Cody's room. His door was firmly shut. I took a deep breath in. Maybe rushing in guns blazing would be a bad idea. I knocked on the door.

"Matt?" Cody took a step back after he opened the door.

I looked inside the room to see Max laying on Cody's bed. Kara was sitting on the ground next to the bed. She smiled at me, like this was something she did every day, like she had forgiven Cody. Max sat up, smoothing his hair.

"Hey Matt."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Cody's playing us the song he sold," Kara said brightly. "It was so pretty."

Cody turned red and looked at the ground, "It's not my best."

"It can still be good," Max smiled. "Codes, that was awesome."

"Thanks Maxie," Cody seemed to be even brighter red.

The bitch.

"Kara," I pushed past Cody and looked at her, "what are you doing I here?"

"Listening to Cody play, I thought we established this."

"But I thought we agreed that Cody's a prick."

Cody shut the door gently, his head hung low. Max glared at me as he wrapped his arms around the cheater. Kara stood up and folded her arms. "Maybe we were wrong. Cody hasn't changed from before. He's still the same person."

I shook my head and turned away from her. Cody looked up at me from where he was in Max's arms, his eyes soft. "Matt, I'm sorry."

"Sorry's not going to cut it," I growled.

"What do you want from me?" Cody demanded, pushing himself away from Max. "I know what I did. I know the pain that I caused. But can't you at least trust that I want Max to be happy?"

"You've lost my trust," I spat.

"I'm sorry," Cody whispered.

Sorry. Would. Not. Cut. It.

I grabbed Cody's shoulder and pulled back my fist. I punched him and watched as he doubled over, gasping for breath. I lifted his head and was about to hit him again when Kara pushed him off of me. I shoved Kara out of the way, and she fell against the bed, crying out. I tried to get to Cody again when Max stood in front of him.

"Get out of my way," I growled.

"No," he stared at me. "Cody, get Kara out of here and find Elliot."

Cody nodded before helping Kara to stand and running out of the room. I wanted to follow, but Max maneuvered so he was blocking the doorway. I glared at him, wondering why he was protecting the bitch.

"Matt," he shook his head, "did you notice that you hurt Kara?"

I did not hurt her. I'd never hurt her. "She didn't get hurt."

"Yes she did," Max shook his head. "You've got to calm down."

It was then the large form of my dad burst into the room. "Max, leave. Matthew, go to your room. We are going to talk."

Unfortunately, I knew better than to argue with my dad. He wasn't afraid to be the bad guy. I blew past my dad and towards my room. I passed Kara and Cody along the way, each looking scared. Ignoring them, I continued to my room. I slammed the door with a solid thud and fell on my bed.

Dad walked into the room, and Jack followed him in. Both adults had a shared look of anger and disappointment. It was Jack who spoke first, "I only looked past this because he deserved it. Now, he doesn't and you hurt my little girl."

Dad looked and Jack. "You told him that it was okay to hurt Cody?"

"Only that first time," Jack folded his arms. "I believe in justice and second chances. This, though, was uncalled for."

"It's always uncalled for," Dad rolled his eyes. He turned his attention back to me, "You could have seriously hurt Cody. Did you know that?"

I ignored him.

"You could have seriously hurt my children," Jack added.

"Do you have anything to say?"

"Where's Papa?" I asked, laying on the bed.

"Shopping," Dad answered. "But when I called him he said he'd be right here."

"Then I'll wait," I answered, going back to ignoring them.

"No you're not," Dad snapped.

Why is he still Dad in my head? He adopted me. He's just Elliot, as much as Papa was Daniel. "I've changed your name to Elliot in my head."

"Matt, please don't act like this," Elliot shook his head. "Until you can act your age, you are to stay here in your room."

I flipped him off and rolled over.

Someone stepped towards me, but seemed to be held back. "Jack, chill. Reacting like that won't help."

Jack growled. "Get off, I can handle myself. And Matthew, you're not welcome at my home anymore."

I stiffened at that revelation. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. Like Dad said, acting in rage won't settle anything. It wasn't until I hear them leave my room did I realize what I really did. Kara was injured, and it was me who did it to her. Cody never fought back, either, the pacifist. He knew he deserved it just as much as I knew it. But he wouldn't stop me, and now Jack banned me from his house.

What had I done?

Minutes later, someone else walked into my room and sat at the end of the bed. I felt like there was someone else standing in the doorway. The person on the bed gently rubbed my back.

"Matt?" Papa said softly.

"Is Kara okay?"

"She's fine, it was more shock than anything else," Papa's voice was soft and kind. I didn't usually see Papa like this.

"I want to apologize to her," I sighed.

"Jack took her and the boys to their house," Papa answered. "He's not going to let you back there any time soon."

"I know."

"But do you understand why?"

"Because I'm stupid," I answered.

"Meaning?" Papa pushed.

"I hold stupid and petty grudges," I answered. "I don't forgive Cody, but I'm the bigger bitch than he is. I'm a damn bully and worthless."

"And Cody," Papa led on.

"I still think Cody is," I sighed, not finishing the sentence. He was a better person than I was, he was actually dealing with the consequences of his actions. I kept blaming him and not giving him credit that Max has. "He's smarter than I am. Nicer."

Papa laughed, "Are you going to treat him like a person?"

"No," I answered. "I'm not quite forgiving him yet. But I'm not going to go out of my way to make his life hell. No one deserves that, but I don't think Max should have been so willing to let him back in his life."

Papa was silent. He got up at the door and had a hushed conversation with whoever was standing at the door. I didn't know who they were, but they both left me to stew in my thoughts and wishes.

Cody was sitting on the grass in front of the house composing as I kicked a soccer ball around the lawn, practicing. The July sun was setting and it actually felt really nice, just out practicing for the tryouts in a few months. As of late, Cody and I were actually speaking to each other, even if we weren't back to how we used to be.

"Hey Cody," I called, stopping the ball in front of him.

He looked up from his papers, his eyes narrow, "Yeah?"

"Would you like to kick the ball around with me?" I asked, looking at the ground.

Cody smiled, "I'm not really good."

"Doesn't matter," I said, helping Cody to his feet. "I need someone to play with."

Cody laughed, "You just want to win, don't you?"

"No," I mocked offense. "If Max and Kara weren't on vacation, I'd ask one of them."

"So I'm last choice?" Cody joked.

"Maybe."

It actually felt really good just to laugh with my foster-brother. I did miss this, my time with Cody. He had this positive energy about him that made everyone around him smile. This was what I needed: one on one time with him, just to get to see that he really wasn't any different from back before that day in June.

Cody and I played until it changed from the light of the afternoon to the light of dusk. Either Papa or Dad turned on the porch light to let us know that it was probably time to call it quits. Cody kicked the ball and it went swirling past me, bouncing in the street.

"I got it," I called as I jogged forward.

"I kicked the ball, I got it," Cody argued.

He ran past me and into the street. He paused to pick up the ball. I could see his smile in the dusk light. I could also see the headlights speed towards Cody. Cody didn't see that, and he just stood like an idiot with the ball.

I silently thanked the gods I could run fast. My legs moved like I was running a marathon. Cody turned and noticed the car flying towards him. If I couldn't get to Cody in time, he was going to get hit head on. And it would be all of my fault. I reached Cody first and shoved. I stumbled I've my feet as Cody flew out of the car's path.

I must have been in the air or something, because I didn't feel the car run over me, just hit me, right under my knee. The pain roared up my legs, and I hit the ground. Hard.

The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by my parents and Cody and some other person, lying on my back. My legs pulsed with pain with every heartbeat, and I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to give up, but not yet. There was something I needed to say.

"Sorry, Cody."

I think Cody heard me, because he looked at me, his face pale. "You're an idiot, Matt."

I was going to respond, but searing pain ripped through my body. I tried to push through it, but only succeeded in screaming. It was not good, like really not good. I wondered if I really had gotten run over, not just hit. I didn't want to think about it. I finally gave into the pain and my brain stopped functioning properly.

Basically, I blacked out.

18: Road to Recovery

Elliot POV

Things were finally starting to repair themselves. Cody and Matt were playing soccer in the front yard. Daniel walked up to the window, and we both watched them. He put his head against my shoulder. 

"About time they made up," Daniel sighed. 

"I know. Their separation was going to drive me mad," I responded.

Daniel and I were finally calm, finally not having to worry about Matt doing something to Cody. Truth be told, I didn't know what was going on in Matt's head. I got that he didn't trust Cody, that he didn't like that, but it didn't explain violence. I thought about Daniel, and when he got mad at me. 

It was a stupid fight while we were in college. It was really my fault, because I kept asking Daniel to do things for me and didn't give him much in return. That day, I did try to make it up. I thought it was perfect: I got Daniel a little stuffed animal that barked out, "I wuff you." I thought it was adorable, and Daniel thought so too, after all was said and done. But he got mad because I apparently it wasn't enough, and it was tainted because of some reason. It was until a few years ago I figured out why. 

He was depressed. He was relapsing because, unlike me, he had to experience firsthand what happened with Isaac and Jack. He went through it twice, more hands on than when I went through it.

Daniel handled depression differently than I did: I cut my wrists, he bottled emotions until he couldn't handle it anymore. Neither of us were right, but we sure were both as wrong. 

Long story short, though, Daniel got pissed when I gave him the dog. We fought for like an hour and my arm was nearly broken before Daniel and I made up. Made out was more accurate, but our friends and family didn't need to know what happened. 

"Penny for your thoughts," Daniel asked. 

I looked at him and kissed his for his forehead. "Isn't our family fantastic?"

"Yes it is," Daniel sighed contentedly. 

In that moment, our lives were perfect. Yes there was trouble, but we could handle it. We were capable of working through it together. I watched as Cody ran out into the street after the ball. There was light glowing brightly and before I realized what was happening, Matt was running at Cody. Matt made contact with Cody, and then there was a thud, a scream, then the screeching of tires.

I was out the door before I could register what was happening.

Matt was lying on the ground, pale as a sheet. Cody was kneeling next to him, his eyes wide. In that small instance, I took everything in. Cody was alright, aside from some road rash on his knees and his hands. He was shaking, but that was the extent of his injuries, physical, at least. Matt was a different story. 

The only way I could see Matt lying like this if he was thrown forward, rolled over, and run over again. Matt was pale, but the blood coming from his hands, legs and face worried me. Was my little boy going to be okay. I knelt next to Cody, pulling my phone out. Daniel arrived next to me as I dialed 911.

"Sorry, Cody," Matt said softly. 

We froze, looking down at Matt. Cody turned pale, "You're an idiot, Matt."

Matt smiled, but then it turned into a grimace before he body shook, leaving him unconscious and in pain. I put my phone up to my ear, arm around Cody and watching over Matt while Daniel went to talk to the driver.

Cody cried into my shirt as I gave directions to emergency services. I closed my phone, leaving it in my palm. Cody shook as he cried. I rubbed his back, carefully watching Matt. I could see him breathing, but he was bleeding. It wasn't heavy, but something didn't seem right. Daniel stormed over to me. He took my spot of comforting Cody and I turned back to Matt.

I could see the pain in his body. This was my little boy and some bastard ran over him. I looked down at the legs, and I saw how his lower legs were swelling and the tire marks across his legs told me everything I needed to know. Matt wouldn't be able to run anymore. 

"Come on, Matthew," I whispered. "Pain is temporary."

Thank gods for ambulances and for police. The EMTs surrounded Cody, and one of them came over to where I stood, barely out of the way. I had been through the chaos of the EMTs while this happened to Daniel.

"Are you his father?" The EMT asked me.

"One of them," I answered. "What's wrong with my son?"

"He broke both his legs," he replied. "We think there is internal bleeding as well. We're taking him to the emergency room now."

"I'm coming with you," I said firmly. 

"Sir," he started.

"Either let me in or I'm going to tailgate your ambulance," I glared at him.

The man paled, "Just try to stay out of the way."

I smirked and followed him to the ambulance. Daniel stood as they loaded Matt into the back. Cody was sobbing into Daniel still, so the best I could do was kiss his forehead. "Follow us there."

"You're going with them," Daniel said flatly. 

"He's my baby boy," I answered. "Now get Cody calmed down a bit so he can talk to the cops. Then meet me at the hospital."

Daniel pushed some tears out of his eyes, "How are you so calm?"

"Experience," I replied, and walked towards the ambulance.

I knew that wasn't the best thing to say, but I couldn't let him know that I was dying inside. I wanted to scream and shout and yell. I wanted to curse the gods. I wanted to curse Cody for running into the road. I wanted to curse Matt for being a hero. My fingernails curled into my hand and I felt pain. I released them, recalling a trick I learned a long time ago. 

The emotions trickled out of me, leaving me coldly logical. This wasn't my best plan, because everything would just come back stronger, but it worked temporarily. I climbed into the ambulance, trying to make my giant frame seem small. Matt's face was cleaner, but it was still bleeding. His arms were scratched up and his legs looked...wrong. 

His chest was barely rising, but he was breathing. His skin was pale, and it looked like he was sweating. I ran my fingers through his hair and sighed. The EMT's started attaching various tubes and wires over his body. I did my best to stay out of the way, all while attempting to keep contact with the boy.

I'm not entirely sure how much time passed before I found myself carefully flipping through some junk magazine. My phone went off, and I answered it calmly.

"Hello this is Elliot," I answered flatly. 

"Elliot?" Daniel's voice sounded frantic over the phone. "Where are you?"

"The hospital," I replied. "I'm waiting in the third floor waiting area for post-op. The nurses are preparing a room for him."

"Are you alright?" Daniel lowered his voice to a whisper. "You don't seem....different."

"Just get here soon," I sighed, picked a magazine back up, "I was told a few hours in surgery."

"Cody is still talking to the police," Daniel told me. "We'll be there soon."

"Alright, Goodbye."

"Bye?"

I ended the call and returned my phone to my pocket. It was a few minutes later when some receptionist walked over to me. He had a sad expression on his face, and I supposed it must have been sympathy. I rolled my eyes, and stood to greet the man.

"Mr. James-Erikson?" He asked. 

I nodded, "Can I help you?"

My calm attitude seemed to throw him for a loop, "We need just a little more authorization and payment information."

"Fine," I sat down with him and proceeded to give him the appropriate information and my signature. Technically, I was the only one authorized to sign for Matt, since I had custody, but it never seemed to matter all the much. Except for legal things like this. I felt like this was a sad waste of paper, actually.

"Thank you for your time," the man stood and walked to the post-op nurse's station and began typing into a computer.

That was fun, I thought. I turned back to the magazine, trying to push my emotions back until Daniel could get here. The man who got the information kept looking at me worriedly. Couldn't he see that this was just a façade? Didn't he see that I was just waiting to break down? I started to tap my foot, occasionally flipping through the usual pictures on my lap. What was I reading anyway?

"Elliot!"

I looked up at the voice and saw Daniel and Cody walking towards me. Cody's arms were bandaged up and he stopped crying, at least for now. Daniel looked like hell though. He was breathing heavily, like he ran all the way here. He was shaking, and I wondered if had ever had to do this before. Daniel wrapped his arms around me, burying his head into my shoulder. I hugged him tightly, running his back.

I looked up and saw Cody looking at the ground, definitely uncomfortable with everything. I let go of Daniel and grabbed my other boy in a huge hug. Cody started crying, and I just held him close to me. 

"I'm sorry," Cody whispered. 

"Everything's going to be fine," I replied. "I'm just glad you're okay. If both of you got hurt, I don't know what I would do."

I led Cody to the chairs and we sat down. Cody sat so I could keep him as close to me as I could. Daniel sat next to me and grabbed my hand. He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb and I looked at him. It was time for me to break down. It was time for me to finally have emotion. 

Daniel seemed to sense it, and pulled me out of my chair and away from Cody. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I let go of everything. It wasn't fair. Why did my family have to get hurt? I just wanted my family to be happy and healthy. Was that too much to ask? 

Daniel rubbed circles into my back as I cried. I had a feeling he was over the crying stage and moving onto the stage where he was at least processing it. Matt wasn't going to die, it didn't seem that serious. But I had a feeling it was going to be bad. I thought about how athletic Matt is and shuddered. What would happen to him if he can't run anymore? His life recently revolved around track and soccer, and if he never got full use of his legs back then.

"I hate this," I whispered into my lover's ear.

"It's awful," Daniel agreed. "Come and sit back down. I think Cody is freaking out."

I wiped my tears and smiled, "I'm freaking out."

Daniel smiled softly and we sat back down. Cody moved over so he could rest on Daniel's shoulder. Cody didn't say much more after that. Daniel was running his back, and I was tapping my foot. We were all just anxiously waiting to be told that Matt was going to be fine. I kept glancing at Cody, though. There was something in his eyes that worried me. Something I recognized from a long time ago.

"Mr. James-Erikson?"

I looked up to see a young looking doctor looking at my family. I stood up slowly, gesturing to Daniel to stay with Cody. I looked at the doctor: he was thirty and at his youngest with cropped brown hair. He was scrolling through a tablet as I got hear him.

"Yes?"

"I'm Doctor Jorgensen, and will be your son's doctor."

He offered me his hand, "Elliot."

"Is that your family?" Doctor Jorgensen asked me.

I made a small motion and they walked over to me, "This is my partner, Daniel, and my other son Cody."

Daniel and Dr. Jorgensen exchanged hellos and titles. Cody was standing between Daniel and me, keeping quiet. He looked up at Dr. Jorgensen.

"Is Matt okay?"

"Matthew has finished his surgery and has been brought to his room. He's still under the anesthetic and will be waking up in a few hours," he replied. "He suffered serious fractures to both his tibia and fibula in his right and left leg. We were able to reconstruct his left tibia and fibula, which was our biggest challenge. His right leg should heal complete. The left leg did suffer major damage, though, and we cannot guarantee that he will return to full function."

Damn it, I thought bitterly. "Thank you, Doctor. Do you know which room is Matt's?"

"Eight," he replied. "I'm going to go and talk to the nurses briefly about his care, and I'll see you in the room."

"Thank you," I said softly.

I gathered my small family and we walked towards Room Eight. One of the nurses met us outside his room. She gave us a once over, "Are you his immediate family?"

"We're his parents," Daniel answered quickly, "this is his brother."

"Alright," she answered. "He's still sleeping. Either me or someone else will come by to take his post-op vitals."

She walked away, leaving us in front of a closed door. I pushed it open and saw my little boy lying in a hospital bed, wires on his body and an IV tube in his arm. Daniel grabbed my arm in a death grip. He had never been really comfortable with hospitals since his long stay in one, but seeing Matt must have revived his fears.

I walked into the room, sitting heavily on the bed. He was tucked under the covers, and if it weren't for the cannula in his nose, he could have been asleep a home. But he was in a hospital recovering. I could see rough scabs on his arms and in his hair. They had been taken care of, but this was just the start. Daniel sat down in the chair in the small room. Cody didn't know what to do and just stared. 

"You two should go home," I said softly, "after Matt wakes up. Let him know you're hear and then get some sleep."

"I want to stay," Cody said bluntly. 

"Cody," I sighed. 

"No, sweetie," Daniel put his hand on my shoulder. "We're both going to stay with you."

I smiled sadly, "I know you want to stay, but I've got experience with dealing with the first night in a hospital. He won't want to be overwhelmed, and all of us here might mess with it."

"I've got experience too," Daniel muttered. "I've been in the bed at this point."

"But I knew how to comfort you," I argued. "Trust me, sweetie."

Daniel wanted to say something, but he just put his head in his hands. Cody folded his arms and drew attention to himself. He was watching Matt breathe like he was worried that Matt would stop suddenly. It was a leg injury, severe, but it wasn't life threatening. Cody rubbed his arms protectively with his hands. I recognized the action because of Daniel. Cody was worried that he would get hurt again.

"Come here, Cody," I said, standing. 

Cody looked up at me, and I saw some sad mix of confusion and something else. I wondered what he was confused about. It had to be something big, otherwise it wouldn't have shown across his features. In the last few months, Cody had gotten good at hiding his emotions. Just not to me. I've had a lot more practice than he has.

"I hate hospitals," Cody muttered under his breath, "too many memories."

Damn it. 

Our foster-son, bless his soul, never really opened up about why he entered the foster system. Daniel came in because his parents died in a fire and his grandparents were unreachable. I personally think they just didn't want to deal with a young boy. Cody didn't tell us why, and we didn't want to pry through records. If Cody wanted us to know, then he'd tell us. If this was making Cody recall things, then I really didn't want to know. 

I walked over to Cody and hugged him tightly. Daniel got off of the chair. "Get comfortable Cody, we might be here for a while before Matt wakes up."

Cody nodded and walked over, sitting in the chair and drawing up his legs to his chest. As soon as he sat down there was a knock at the door. A man walked in, wearing brown scrubs. He was dragging a vital signs cart into the room behind him. 

"Hi," he said quietly, "my name's Jace, and I'm tonight's CNA and your nurse is Jessica. I'm just going to take his vital signs."

"Go ahead," Daniel smiled.

Jace worked quickly and efficiently as he strapped Matt to the machine. He pulled a notebook out of his pocket and started writing things down as the machine beeped. He took Matt off of the machine and rolled it towards the door. "He's looking good for post-op. I'm going to be back in an hour. Press the call light when he wakes up, okay?"

"Thank you," I said, watching him go. 

He reappeared two minutes later with two chairs for me and Daniel. We thanked him and sat down. Time passed in relative silence. It was a little past 11:00, and Cody was sleeping peacefully in the chair. Jace would check in, being sure to stay as quiet as he could. We would watch him each time as he provided quiet care. The nurse checked in once, just to observe Matt for a moment. That was at about ten thirty.

"You should take Cody home," I whispered into his ear. 

"He'd get mad if he didn't stay to get to see Matthew wake up," Daniel replied. "Let's give it until midnight. If Matt isn't awake by then, I'll take Matt home and you can question Jessica."

"Deal."

11:15. 

11:30.

We got here at 7, he was out of surgery at nine, and we had to wait a few hours for the anesthetic to wear off, and see him awake. I looked at his IV, watching the morphine work its way through him. Why wasn't he waking up?

Daniel grabbed my hand, "He'll wake up, Elliot."

"The last time I was waiting for this was with you," I kissed Daniel's hand. "I just didn't think Matt would need to be under for this long. They're generally awake within the hour."

Daniel rested his head on my shoulder, "Matt's always been weird."

Someone groaned. I looked up at Cody, expecting to see him moving in his sleep. Yet he was still curled up into a ball, sleeping peacefully. I looked at the bed, and saw Matt wiggling. I stood from my chair and walked over to Matt's side.

His eyes fluttered open, and he started to panic. I rested my hand on his and smiled. "Matt, it's okay. You broke your legs, so try not to move them too much."

"Daddy?" Matt blinked a few times.

"Hey, Matt."

"My legs hurt," he muttered.

Daniel appeared by my side. He had woken up Cody, who was standing by the edge of the bed. Cody grinned and hugged Matt.

"I'm so glad your awake," Cody sad brightly, before yawning.

"I'm not," Matt slurred. "I'm tired."

I pressed the call light, signaling that Matt had woken up. Jessica burst into the room, Jace right behind her. Daniel kissed Matt's forehead before leading Cody out of the room and to home. 

The next few hours were tough for Matt. Jessica explained to Matt, in brief, what his injuries were and asked him about what pain he was feeling. She adjusted the morphine and told us to press the button if he started groaning. It would only feed once every fifteen minutes, so we'd have to watch that. I thanked her and she left the room. 

"Dad," Matt yawned.

"Yes," I replied, getting comfortable in the chair. How did Cody get to sleep in this?

Matt mumbled something incoherent and fell into a light sleep. I smiled. Sleep was definitely a good thing. Matt was breathing lightly and I was surrounded by the quiet peace of the hospital. There was some light conversation happening outside the door, probably the nurses talking about care for other patients. It was annoying, but it had to be done. Jace popped in a little after midnight to check vitals. Matt didn't react and told me he'd be back in about hour, or at least before two. 

I started to drift in and out of sleep. The chair was awful for my neck, but it let me be close to my son. Necessary evil. I was glad that I was here though, because Matt tried to sit up, but ended up yelping in pain. I was at his side, pressing the morphine button and put my hand on his shoulder. 

"Matt," I said softly, "Matthew calm down. It's just a nightmare.

"Dad," Matt took a deep breath in, "I'm scared."

"It's alright, Matt. You're safe here. Daddy's not going to let anyone hurt you."

Matt grabbed my arm, "But I was being cut in half."

"Nightmare, Matt," I sighed, pulling his hand off my arm. "Do you want me to sing you the nightmare song?"

"You can't sing, Dad," Matt said, a little brighter than before. Then it fell again, "I'm...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Being a jerk," he sighed.

I wasn't about to say it was okay, but I needed to say something. "We'll talk about it tomorrow with Cody and Papa, okay? You need to get some sleep."

Matt sighed. He pulled the sheet up under his neck and stopped talking. He was probably just ready to go to sleep...and eventually go home. I heard his breathing slow and he was eventually sleeping again. 

I didn't get any sleep for the rest of the night. Jace popped in every hour like clockwork, each time giving me a new look of confusion. If he could stay up all night, so could I. Besides, it's summer, I didn't have to go to work any time soon. Dawn broke out, and I discovered that we had a window, looking out at our home. It was actually quite beautiful. Jace popped in at six to say goodbye. I wished him well and he left the room. 

Daniel and Cody came into the room around seven, and Matt was still out like a light. Cody was wearing sweat pants and a hoodie. I was worried to see Cody dressed like that in July. He was hiding something, and I had a troublesome feeling that I knew what it was. I rubbed my wrist, looking at Daniel.

"Go home and rest, sweetie." Daniel said, kind but firm. "You look exhausted."

"I'm fine," I yawned. 

"Liar," Daniel chuckled. "Just go. Matt will understand if you aren't here."

"Okay," I blinked a few times. 

"Will you make it home safely?" Daniel asked. 

"Sure, we're not far from home." I walked to the door, and put my hand on the door handle. "Where did you park?"

Daniel handed me the keys. "Parking garage, floor one, row A."

"Nice parking," I muttered as I left the room. 

Driving Daniel's car home was a new adventure for me. Neither of us drove the same kind of car. He drove a sleek little one who's name I forget where I drove a large Dodge Durango. His car's breaks were nicer too, so some of my stops may have been a little jerky. The drive itself wasn't too bad, considering that I hadn't gotten any sleep. When I did get home, I collapsed on my bed. I set my alarm for a few hours later and plugged my charger into my phone. It was time to sleep. 

A faint buzzing reached my ears. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes and sat up. My phone started chirping some annoying tune and I stared at it. Was this my alarm or was someone calling me? Shrugging, I grabbed my phone and stared at the screen. It was my alarm, telling my sleepy mind to wake up. Matt was still in the hospital, and I was here staring at my phone. 

I got out of bed and changed my clothes. I was brushing my teeth when I remembered what Cody was wearing this morning. I finished brushing my teeth and went looking for proof of my suspicions. 

Cody was really easy to read, I thought grimly as I stood over my proof. Why would he do something like this? He had to know that he had nothing to do with Matt's decision. It was a family thing.

My own past stared at me in the mirror. I saw things I didn't want see: flashes of light from a small house, glimpses of a girl with blonde hair. Glimpses of a knife going against skin. 

I shook my head of the thoughts. What I did in my past should stay in my past. Daniel knew a fabricated story, and it was more than enough. Except for when I knew it would make more sense to get this off of my shoulder. There was always a chance that someone would investigate a little closer, that my mom would realize what actually happened behind closed doors. 

I splashed water in my face and left the bathroom. When I got to the hospital, I would talk to Cody about this in private. And then I'd talk to my family about my own scars. They deserved to know, and Daniel more than everyone else.

Max may need to know about Cody too, now that I thought about it. He may need a touch of help getting through this. 

I took my car to the hospital this time. When I arrived I went straight to Matt's room to find it full of bodies. Cody was standing up by Matt, wrapped in Max's arms. Kara was on Matt's other side, and they were talking quietly amongst themselves. Daniel was talking to Jack and Isaac, explaining what had happened. I was surprised there were this many people in the room and we weren't yelled at. Apparently, I jinxed it and a nurse walked into the room. 

"I'm sorry," she said loudly. "Only three or four people are allowed here at a time."

"Thank you," I said, gathering the attention of the people. "We'll be sure to keep that in mind. Daniel, Cody, Max, care to come with me?"

"Dad?" Matt said, confused. "When did you get here?"

"Just barely," I responded. "Kara and her parents will stay here for a moment."

Everyone blinked. I rolled my eyes and left the room. A second later, the group I requested followed me out. Daniel grabbed my hand and looked at me, confused. Cody and Max followed behind us, exchanging glances. We stopped in the waiting room, where we all sat. Cody tugged his sleeves down, fiddling with his clothes. He never met my gaze, and I closed my eyes, sighing. 

"How are you holding up, Cody?" 

"Okay," he responded, "I'm glad Matt isn't hurt much worse than he is."

"Is that all?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"Elliot," Daniel put his hand cautiously on my leg.

Max looked at me, and then back at Cody, "Codes?"

Cody shifted in his seat, "I'm fine."

That was definitely unconvincing, even Max saw past it, and he was love-blind. "Codes, what's up?"

"The better question is why Elliot is insisting something's wrong," Daniel looked at me. "What are you expecting?"

"I'd rather not say," I respond. "If I'm wrong and quiet, then I'm glad. If I'm wrong but say it out loud, then I'm a fool."

I saw the thoughts spin through Daniel's head. He was waiting for some more information, either from me or from Cody. He wasn't going to figure it out on his own. I ran my fingers along my wrist and Daniel's eyes widened.

"What?" Cody asked. 

"Did something happen last night Cody?" Daniel responded with another question. 

"Daniel," Cody whispered. He buried his head into Max's shoulder, "Max, don't get mad."

He rolled up his left sleeve to reveal a fresh white bandage, unlike the band aids covering his cuts and scrapes after the accident. He looked up at Max and I saw the pain in his eyes. Weight pressed against my shoulders. It wasn't real, but I felt like our fault Cody felt like this was an appropriate action. 

"Codes," Max seemed shocked. "Why?"

"Max," I said firmly, "can I borrow Cody?"

The young boys looked confused by my statement. Daniel just bit his lip and looked at the ground. I stood up, waiting for Cody. He got up shakily and started walking with me. I looked at Cody and we met each other's gaze. His eyes held so much guilt, so much pain. I wondered how I missed it originally. This must have been there last night.

"Can I show you something?" I asked as we went into the elevator. Cody shrugged and I pressed the button for the ground floor. As we went down, I rolled my sleeve up, revealing my scars. "I get it, Cody, on a level most people don't. But your experience and mine are completely different."

"Why did-"

"It's something that only Daniel and my friend from high school know the reason," I cut him off. "If I tell my story, then Isaac and Jack and everyone will have to be present."

"Oh." 

"You want to share?" I asked Cody.

The elevator dinged, signaling our arrival. We walked out of the hospital, and I led him just in a walk around the building. Cody was still silent as we started our second trip around.

"I just," Cody sighed. "It's my fault. If I didn't mess with Isaiah, then Matt and I would have stayed friends. He wouldn't have needed to push me out of the way."

"Look," I sighed. "The past has past. But look to the future. Matt is alive and is going to recover. He's going to walk again, maybe run. And he did it on his own free will. Why did you cut your wrists?"

I glanced at Cody and saw him crying softly. I wrapped my arms around the short form of Cody, letting him cry into my shirt. We stood in front of the hospital like this for a good minute before Cody looked back up at me. "I wanted to hurt."

"Cody," I rubbed his back. "Once the seed of suicide is felt, it won't leave you alone. It will continue to tear at your soul when you're happy or sad."

"Is that what it's like for you?"

"Yes," I answered honestly. "I don't know if that's how it'll be like for you, but that's how I see the world."

"I want Max," he muttered into my shirt.

"I want Daniel," I smiled. "Come on, Cody, let's go find our men."

19: Past

Elliot POV

For the next week, we all fell into a pattern of who would stay in Matt's room and who would stay outside. I elbowed my way to stay in the room as much as I could, and Daniel was in the room usually when I wasn't. 

Matt was getting better, slowly but steadily. He was more comfortable with bending his knee and doing the things he needed to do. The nurses also started getting him used to using the wheelchair and teaching Daniel and I how to help Matt get in and out of the chair comfortably. They also taught us how to help him to the bathroom for showers and other duties. 

It embarrassed Matt but it needed to be done. 

Cody was doing...better. He and Max spent a lot of time together, talking. They would occasionally kiss or hold hands, but for the most part Cody was retreating into his mind. I wasn't too worried. Max was good at getting shy people out of their shells. So was Matt. He was the one who Cody originally smiled for. 

"Dad?" I looked up from my book to see Matt rolling in his wheelchair towards me, followed by a frantic looking assistant. She wasn't as good as Jace was.

"What's up?" I closed my book, setting it on my lap.

"Is Cody okay?" Matt asked. 

"He's," I paused, searching for the right phrase. "It's not something I should tell you. He's going through something right now. If you want to know, you'd have to ask him."

"He doesn't talk to anyone but you and Max. He doesn't talk to Papa that much either," Matt sighed. "He doesn't even write music."

That was new to me. I was thinking he was turning recent events into one of his season pieces. Temptations of Summer was his first hit, and he recently sold one called the Lovers of Spring. It was more of a success than his first. Cody was in shock, and as the money kept arriving, he wouldn't keep much of it on him. He sent it all into a bank account we set up for him. He even had a mood for writing music, the same mood he had right now. Which was why I thought he'd be writing something like the Despairs of Autumn. 

"Have you just tried to talk to him?" I asked. "Cody does trust you. He's just a little guilty."

"Why would he be guilty?" Matt was genuinely confused. "I was the bitch."

"You'd need to talk to Cody," I rubbed his head. "He's a quiet kid. He trusts you more than you think he does."

"Yeah right," Matt muttered. 

"The first night Cody was here, he had a nightmare," I ran my hand through my hair, like I had seen Cody do. "Daniel had one too, and they talked over hot chocolate. They talked about you, Max, and Kara, but mostly about you. Cody asked to meet you that morning, even when we wanted you to stay with Jack for a few more days."

Matt played with the hem if his shirt. I put the book on Matt's lap and started to wheel him back to his room. He complained and tried to stop me, but I kept pushing him. If I was right, then Cody would be sitting in Matt's room. And I would force them to talk. 

I was right, of course, and put Matt into the room. Cody and Max looked up at me. It was Max who finally broke a grin. 

"Have you considered trying to do a wheelie?" 

Matt smirked, "No. Why would I try that?"

"Because it would be cool," Max responded. "Since you're going to need the wheelchair at home, when your leg gets better, can I try wheelies?"

"Get in line," Matt replied, "I get to do wheelies first. It is my wheelchair."

"Why are you so immature?" Cody grumbled. He smiled slightly. "Besides, you got to try just going on one wheel. That's a lot more fun than a wheelie."

I smiled at the boys' excitement as they discussed the different ways to play with a wheelchair. I just stood against the door to the bathroom. Their conversation turned to riding the wheelchair down a set of stairs or the slide Daniel installed as a secret passages. It was time for me to interfere in the conversation. 

"Don't slide down the slide," I rolled my eyes. "Max, can I borrow you? I've got something important I want to get your opinion on."

"Alright," Max kissed Cody's cheek and walked out of the room. I followed after him and paused outside the door. "Why did you want to talk to me?"

"Have you seen any of Matt's friends recently?"

"Matt has friends?" Cody joked. I just glared at him. "I haven't heard from  Nate, Chandler or Mark for a few days. I think Nate and Chandler are on vacation and Mark is with his dad."

I sighed. Those were Matt's closest friends, and I didn't think they knew Matt was in the hospital. I was glad Matt and Max were in the same year at school. 

My son wasn't always the most...open kid in the universe. He was a kind soul, when he wasn't gunning for vengeance for his friends. Which was the problem. He would always be polite and try his best when we had the younger foster-kids staying in our house temporarily. But that was the problem. Matt could handle making short term relationships, but he struggled with making longer term relationships. He met Mark first, and they've known each other for about five years now. Nate and Chandler are twins Matt met when we told him about his mother...and his twin sister that died with her. They became friends at a conference for adopted kids. 

And none of them knew what Matt was going through. 

"Do you know when Chandler and Nate will be back?" I asked. "Or when Mark comes back to his mom's?"

"I can text them," Max replied. "Why?"

"I want to throw Matt a surprise party. A welcome home party, and I want his friends to be there."

"Okay," Max smiled. His smile fell, "Why did I have to leave the room?"

"Matt and Cody need to have a one-on-one chat," I responded. "Cody needs to tell Matt about what happened and Matt has to tell Cody that he is sorry and it wasn't Cody's fault."

"Tricky," Max muttered. "Do you think they're talking?"

"About what I want them to talk about? No," I smiled, "but forcing people to talk is usually a good first step."

I gathered the plates full of half eaten cake and melted ice cream, and brought it into the kitchen. I looked up to see Matt laughing with Mark and Max as Daniel told one of his stories. I smiled. Matt was discharged from the hospital earlier today, and the party went off without a hitch. I just wished that his other friends could be here as well. 

Matt and Mark kept poking each other, acting as if the wheelchair was just a new toy. I was thankful for Mark's presence in the house, because it let Max and Cody sit together. It also gave Matt someone new to talk to. 

It was time to start washing the dishes. This was the only flaw of my newest hobby. Food was delicious and fun to make, but the cleanup was awful. 

"Do you want some help?" Cody was standing next to me, holding his elbow. 

"Sure, but don't you want to be with Max and Matt?"

"They're happy with their friend," he responded.

"Alright, you can help dry."

I dipped the plates into the water and then started to wash them. I held a bubbly plate up for inspection, "Cody, are you doing okay?"

"I haven't touched a knife again, if that's what you're asking," he responded bitterly. 

I sighed, rinsing another plate, "Cody, suicide is a virus. It's just in remission now, but it will tempt you again."

"I'm ready for it this time," Cody responded. He dried a dish and set it to the side.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Whatever," Cody grabbed the plate I was working on. 

"What are we to you?"

Cody set the plate down, "You're my foster family. You're Elliot, there's Daniel, and Matt his my foster-brother. Max is my boyfriend. It's not too complicated."

"Did you know that Matt thinks of you like a brother? Or that Daniel and I think of you like our son?"

"I have a mom and a dad," Cody muttered under his breath. "And a sister. I don't need replacements."

I froze mid-wash. Cody never talked about where he came from, and Daniel and I only knew the bare essentials of his past, only what I knew from Cassie and Daniel. Cody made it his goal not to talk to us about his life, and now he spoke like this, telling me this, I didn't know how to respond.

"Forget it," Cody muttered, setting the towel on the table and moved to walk out of the kitchen. 

I watched him leave the kitchen and walk towards his room. I heard the door shut and then the haunting melody of Loss play through the halls. Daniel stumbled over his words when he heard the song, but kept going for Mark and Matt's sake. Max excused himself and ran to Cody's room. Daniel finished his story and told the boys in the dining room he was going to help me finish doing the dishes. 

"Why the hell is Cody playing Loss?" Daniel hissed. 

"I told him that he was like our son," I sighed. "Then he told me that he already had parents and a sister and he didn't want replacements."

Daniel paused. "He has a sister?"

"Apparently so," I muttered. "He then ran to play Loss."

Daniel and I were quiet as we heard the empty song drift through the house. Mark and Matt were quiet too, and I heard Matt swear before rolling himself towards Cody's room. Mark excused himself, thanking me for the cake and left. The music stopped suddenly, and I heard the crying of angry teenagers. A specific angry teenager. I knew Matt and Max were doing their best to comfort him, but Cody was trapped in a world of his own depression. Something I knew well. 

"Elliot," Daniel rubbed my back, "it's okay. What's happening in your head?"

"The past hurts as much as the present and future," I muttered. I turned around and hugged Daniel tightly.

I've always compared my depression to a shadow animal, something akin to a mythological hell hound. It wasn't until I moved alone to college did I put an image to it, especially since it followed me around. It even bit me while Daniel was separated from me. I never told Daniel that the canine's teeth sunk into my wrist. The hell hound kept following me, but it kept at bay as long as I was near Daniel or Matt, and now Cody. But it was reappearing, watching me as I squished Daniel. 

"Please, sweetie, don't give in," Daniel begged. 

I glared at the hell hound. It slowly vanished from my vision, "Daniel, I lied."

The back rub seemed to be thrown off rhythm for a moment, but then picked up. "What about?"

"Remember back in high school," I whispered, "when I promised I'd never cut again?"

"Yes," I could hear the fear in his voice. 

"I broke that promise while you were in high school and I was at the Academy," I shuddered at the memory. "There's something else, too."

Daniel pushed me off of him, and watched me. His brown eyes watched my face, and I saw glimpses of panic and fear wash over him. "What else, Elliot James?"

I winced at the lack of his name, "I told you about why I started cutting, about Makayla."

"Yes.:

"She's not the whole reason. There was a lot more to the story. Some things happened I never wanted you to know about."

"Why now?" Daniel was keeping his sentences short and crisp. The pain in his eyes started morphing into anger. It would be his rage soon if I couldn't stop him.

"Because dealing with Cody," I swallowed. "Because I told Cody that it was best if he told someone he cared about why he started. That would help him deal with it. I haven't told anyone yet. Only my mom knows, and she doesn't know the full extent."

"Tell. Me."

"Daniel, sweetie," I started to shake my head.

He stopped me shaking, only by slapping my cheek a hard as he could. "Don't sweetie me. We promised we'd tell the truth. Elliot, why didn't you tell me all of this?"

"Because you were," I started. 

"Raped?" Daniel spat. "Orphaned? Kidnapped?"

"Not ready," I snapped back. "You weren't ready to hear the truth."

"Why now, Elliot?" He yelled. His voice dropped, back to the icy tone I had rarely heard him use before. "You better tell me now or get your stuff out of my house and stay the hell away."

"Papa? Dad?" We both looked up to see Matt, rolled in by Cody. Max was standing a little ways away, watching the events carefully. "What's going on?"

"Max," I looked at him, trying push everything else away. My emotions were running high, and it was interfering with logic and reasoning. I took a breath in, banishing my feelings. 

"Retreat, you bitch, just like you always do," Daniel snarled. 

"I rarely do this, Daniel," I responded, matching his icy tone. "And never while I've dealt with you. Only when I've dealt with every other damn thing wrong with this family."

"Wrong with this family?" Daniel shook his head and laughed. "You're what's wrong. How long have you lied to me, Elliot? You promised that we'd have no secrets. You promised that we'd be honest with each other. And it turns out you've been lying for years."

"There's a reason," I shrugged. "A reason I never wanted you to know. It turns out that my past is coming back to haunt me and it's time I told you about it."

Daniel folded his arms, "Then tell me."

"Matthew, Cody," I looked at them. They were both pale as a sheet. I wondered absentmindedly how much they had heard. Too late now, "go to Cody's room and wait there. Max, call your parents and get them and Kara over here five minutes ago."

"Oh, so they get to know?" Daniel shook his head, "they're younger than I was. Why are they ready"

"They're not, Daniel." I closed my eyes. "But I'm only go to tell this story once. They're either here now or hear it later secondhand by someone who doesn't get the entire details and motivation. I don't want them to hear it, but now you've given me no choice."

"I've given you no choice?" Daniel rolled his eyes. He looked at our son, foster-son, and our best friends' son. "Do as he says."

They all retreated as quickly as they could. Daniel looked back at me, his eyes on fire in contrast to his icy voice, "Go and wait for the friends that need to hear your lie before I get to. I'm going upstairs. Send Cody to get me."

"Fine."

"Fine," Daniel pushed past me, making sure to knock me out of the way. 

I heard him pound up the stairs and a door slam. Good riddance, I thought. I didn't mean it, but it just...felt right. It felt like all the times the men told me to leave. I felt the panic and terror in my chest. My knuckles turned white as I dug my nails into my palm. No emotions, Elliot, not now. Not until after everything was said and done.

Jack and Isaac arrived precisely two minutes later, barging into the house, worried. Kara followed after them, definitely confused as to what was happening. I told them to go to Cody's room and tell him to get Daniel. I grabbed Jack's arm and told him to grab me once Daniel was in the room. 

"What's going on?" He demanded after I made my request. 

"Ask Max," I shrugged. "He heard it too."

He disappeared, only to reappear a moment later. Jack's face was a mixture of confusion and anger. He shook his head at me, "Daniel's crying, Elliot. What the hell did you do?"

"Tried to keep the past a secret," I said simply. "Is everyone in Cody's room?"

"Yes," he started. 

"Let's go," I cut him off.

Cody was still staying in the guest bedroom, despite having a room upstairs ready for him. I thought he just liked the room, liked feeling safe. At the moment, his room was crowded. Matt was in his wheelchair near the end of the bed. Max, Cody and Kara sat on the bed, while Isaac was comforting Daniel on the floor. Jack sat next to his brunet and looked at me. 

"I'm going to tell a story," I said softly. "I'm going to tell you why I tried to kill myself and why I've kept it a secret for over twenty years."

"Elliot," Jack looked uncomfortable, "why do we need to be here?"

"Because I thought you'd want to know." I shut the door and leaned against it. "That, and I want you to hear this from me, not from Matt or Cody or Daniel. This is my story, not theirs."

"Start talking Elliot," Daniel growled, "and explain why you kept this a secret from the man you loved."

"I kept it a secret because I didn't want you to deal with the knowledge that you fell in love with an under-aged prostitute."

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. Daniel's eyes widened in shock, and everyone else shared the same expression of shock. "It's not like that. It only happened seven times."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Daniel whispered. 

"Probably not," I answered. I rubbed my forehead, "I didn't want to say it like that."

Daniel went to say something, but Isaac stopped him. He turned his attention to me, "Go on, Elliot."

"My dad died when I was twelve," I monotoned. "The company he worked for gave my mom a very small amount of money and said, 'My Condolences'. The company were asses. They paid our family off, and never said anything to us ever again. My mother started to work crappy jobs nearly all hours of the day, and we still didn't have any money. It got to the point where we moved from our large house to the smaller one we lived in, near the less-appealing places. She would go without eating, but she would try to keep me from seeing, but I saw it. It's had to hide that. Nick would have me over at his house a few nights a week, but it ended when I was about 14.

"All of my mom's money stopped. She was to exhausted from working dawn to midnight. Letters kept piling up, bits of unpaid bills and letters of eviction. They turned off the electricity and water. My mom was still trying to find a job, and that's when I got the idea. I'm not going to go into the specifics, but the right people are willing to pay hundreds of dollars to have fun with a minor. Someone wants to pay even more to be the first."

I slid down the door. Various expressions painted the faces of my family and friends. Jack and Isaac were sharing expressions of horror. Cody was pale and Kara was shaking. They were at the same age I was when I found alternate ways to pay for my family. Matt and Max didn't look much better. It was Daniel that kept a blank expression. He narrowed his eyes, daring me to keep going. 

"I slid the money from my mom in small amounts, claiming I was working off jobs, like walking dogs. Things got better, and my mom started working double jobs at a restaurant and a dry cleaners. Weeks passed, and we started slipping again. The restaurant decided to fire their employees and rebuild. At the same time, I got pneumonia. We weren't doing so well this time around and so I went out again. I was better this time. Didn't make nearly as much, but this time I was getting word of mouth. Some kid who was working the streets, and people wanted to check it out. 

"I slipped money to my mom the same way and this continued for three more times over the year. My mom was getting suspicious of where my money was coming from. That Christmas was when I met Kayla. Makayla, actually, but she was Kayla to me. We dated for a few months. I only went out to sell once during that time, and I do believe that she knew. I was about to turn sixteen, we were in high school, then, and Daniel was in middle school. Cassie and I were talking one day, when Kayla wanted to talk to me. She pulled me into one of the awkward hallways and started to yell at me. 

"She called me a whore, and made no attempt to stay quiet. I tried to argue, but she just shook her head, called me a dirty fag and left me standing alone. I'm not proud of what happened next. My mom was working late so instead of dragging the catch to a motel, I brought them home. They left and I sat on my bed, alone. Completely and utterly alone. No one knew what was going on. 

"I just wanted this to end. I found a knife and tried to kill myself. I even found some medicine and swallowed it. All I know is that the next the morning and I was in a hospital with my arm all bandaged up. My mom was crying. She told me that she found me bleeding, barely breathing, and exposed. She asked how long I'd been out, and I just told her twice. Seven was my final number. Nick, Cassie, and Mason all came to see me in the hospital. Cassie knew I was broken hearted and assumed that's why, and Nick figured it out. But he thought it ended because she wanted a more serious relationship and I didn't. I never bothered correcting any one.

"I went back to school and faked being positive and kept my head held high. No one would interfere with my happiness. It also came to the point where I decided I was gay, and told no one. I kept to my friends and decided that I wasn't going to let anyone's opinion mess with me. My mom got a decent job at the hotel and we moved again. Then my junior year started and, well, then I met Daniel."

I finished the story. I shuddered and shoved the memories into a place where I wouldn't have to think about them too hard. My head rested heavily in my hands as I tried to stay calm. I shut down my emotions prior to telling the story and they were all back now, returning in some form of retribution, as if they were punishing me for ignoring them. 

Someone knelt next to me. Cody's brown eyes were studying my face. He hugged me, comforting me. As much as I loved Cody, he wasn't who I wanted to have here. Regardless, I hugged him back and began to cry. Within a minute, the Frost family was surrounding me and Matt was watching me, doing what he could from his chair. Daniel, though, sat as a stone on the floor. 

"I'm sorry I snapped, Elliot," Cody apologized. 

"It's alright, Cody." I wiped my eyes and stood up, breaking free of the group comfort. Daniel ignored me as I went to talk to Matt. "I'm going to go to bed."

Isaac stood up as well, "We should get going. Elliot, call us if you need anything."

"Thank you for coming," I said softly.

"Elliot," Jack whispered as he grabbed my arm, "I'm so sorry, if you could have-"

"Jack, that was a long time ago," I pulled his arm off of mine. "I've moved on, more or less."

The Frost family left, Cody and Max saying their goodbyes. Kara and Matt did their awkward best friend crush goodbyes and left the room.  It was when they left I realized I didn't know where we were going to put Matt. Upstairs was no longer an option. Cody and Matt seemed to realize it at the same moment I did. 

"Where am I going to sleep?"

"We could switch rooms," Cody suggested. "I'll go upstairs, you stay here."

Matt grimaced, "I don't like it."

"Where else, then?" Cody asked. 

"I don't know," Matt groaned. "Papa and Dad can build an elevator."

"By the time it's built you'll be healed," I rolled my eyes. "It's going to be about two months before your left leg is out of its cast. Can't you just stay down here?"

"Fine," Matt muttered. "I want my laptop."

"Where is it?" Cody mumbled. 

"Living room," Matt pushed the breaks off. "Push me! En garde!"

Cody smiled before shoving Matt out of the room. Daniel was still sitting on the ground. He had pulled his legs up to his chest and was unmoving. I slid my hands underneath him and lifted him up.  I took him into our room and set him on the bed. 

I kissed his cheek, "I love you, sweetie."

Daniel didn't respond. I shut the door and went to find the boys. They were in the living room, with Cody leaning over Matt's shoulder as they watched some Internet video. I grinned, before going into Cody's room and grabbing his pillow and quilt. I switched them with the ones on Matt's bed. I grabbed some of his pajamas and brought them down. 

"Guys," I interrupted the latest fit of laughter, "go to bed. Matt, come on.  I've got to help you get ready. I've switched your pillows and we'll fix the rest tomorrow."

Cody nodded. On his way past me, he paused and hugged me tightly. "I'm sorry, Elliot."

"It's alright, Cody," I responded. I messed with his hair. "Go to sleep, okay? It's best if we out today behind us."

"Love you, Elliot," he muttered. 

"Love you too, Cody. Now get some sleep."

He nodded before running up the stairs. Matt and I went into Cody's bedroom. I handed him his pajama shirt and turned my back as he changed. When he was ready, I helped get Matt into his pajama shorts and into bed. He groaned a bit and I sat on the end of the bed. 

"You okay, Matt?"

"Sore," he admitted, "I really wanted to be in my own bed, Dad."

"I'll see what I can do tomorrow," I sighed. "But it's late and a lot has happened."

I went to the door and turned off the light. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry for what-"

"Matt," I sighed, "it's not your problem. It's my past, not yours. Just keep going through life, Matt, and stay positive. Don't think too much about my story."

"Love you Dad, goodnight."

"Night," I responded. 

I went back to my room and saw Daniel laying in his half of the bed, exhausted. He muttered something and rolled over, pulled the sheets around him. I changed quickly before sliding in and kissing my lover's forehead. 

"Goodnight, Sweetie," I whispered. "I love you."

"Love you," I heard Daniel mumble. 

I smiled before drifting off to sleep.  

20: Present

Daniel POV

I woke up cuddling against Elliot, just like I had for the last who knows how many years. I buried my head closer into his chest, smiling. Until I remembered everything that happened yesterday. I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday. From the fight I had with Elliot to his story. His true story. My throat went dry. 

Elliot was always so supportive of me, and all I ever did was yell at him. He even supported me back when I found out he tried to kill himself, after I acted like a bitch. He supported me after I remembered that I was raped. Elliot was perfect, despite his past. But why couldn't he share the truth with me? 

This was the same inner monologue I was having last night, and it was bothering me. 

I pulled away from Elliot and went towards the kitchen. It was about seven in the morning and no one was awake yet. My family generally slept until nine or ten. I made myself a mug of cocoa and sat at the table. The warm liquid was beautiful as it went down my throat. I had always found with pain and emotion, burning it with hot chocolate was the best remedy. 

I tapped the table, thinking about the man I left in my bed. Damn it, why did he have to be so much better than me? Even during our fight.  It was probably the worst fight we'd had since...high school, since we broke up that first time. I kept losing my temper, and Elliot tried to stay calm. He even did his stupid emotion thing.

Elliot.

The hot chocolate was nearly gone by the time I started thinking about why Elliot and I fought. It was all because I over reacted to him telling me the truth. That's all I wanted from him- the pure and honest truth. I groaned and rested my head on the table. 

Elliot grew up as a prostitute. I definitely had a better past than he did, but it still didn't mean that either of us had the right to act like we were claiming it. At least, that's how I saw it. Our pasts were like piles of junk that followed us around. Despite our best attempts to deal with it, and when I finally found what Elliot was hiding. That's a lot to dump on a person. Too much, if you asked me.

Now the hot chocolate was gone and I had a head ache. Great use of my time, I thought bitterly. I needed to go talk to Isaac. The younger brunet always was able to keep a calm mind and gave really good advice when I needed it. There was also a chance he could help me disappear for a few days. I wouldn't disappear, like Cody did, but I did want to get a chance to calm down.

It was decided, at least in my mind. I cleaned my mug out and set it on a towel to dry. I set out to get my travel bag, something I had continually packed for when I needed to spend a few days at the Academy. The only problem was, it was under the bed. If I woke Elliot up, he'd stop me, and that's something I really didn't want to get into. I slid my phone charger into my pocket and knelt at the edge of the bed. Elliot was snoring lightly as I slid the bag out from under the bed. Elliot rolled over, before snoring again. I slung the bag over my shoulder. 

That was basically everything I needed. If Isaac didn't want to talk, then I'd just go camp out for a few days and come to terms with my newly discovered information. Started to leave when I saw something peeking out of the corner of our desk, buried under piles of paper. I pulled it out and smiled. It was my sketch pad, something I hadn't used in more than ten years. The paper cover was worn, well loved. I slid it into my bag as well as a collection of pencils. It would be a good thing to draw again. 

Now I was ready, more or less. I left the room, sighing. I should probably go tell Matt or Cody that I was planning on leaving. Logically, I should tell Matt. So that's where I went. I knocked on the door to his room. I was about to go in when Cody opened the door. 

"Daniel?" He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "What's going on?"

"I'm going to leave for a few days," I responded.

"Why?" He yawned. 

"I've got my reasons," I said quickly. "Tell Elliot and Matt, okay? I promise I'll come back."

Cody looked at me, his eyes narrowing. It was like he was going to argue, "Didn't you tell me it wasn't a good idea to run?"

"I'm not running, Cody," I looked at the ground. "I'm going to draw."

"You're an artist?" He asked. 

"I can be," I smiled. "I'll tell you about it when I get back. I'll see you in a few days."

Cody yawned, "Alright."

"Go back to sleep, Cody," I smiled. 

He just nodded before going back to the room and collapsing on the bed. I shut the door and went to the door. I hesitated, my fingers on the doorknob. If I walked out now, then I'd be doing exactly what I worried about Cody doing. He even called me out on it. But I just needed time to deal with what was happening.

The door swung open and shut quickly and quietly, and I was driving to the Frost house. Isaac was a morning person, as was Max. If he kept dating Cody, it could get to the point where he became a morning person too. That's not a bad thing, but it wasn't the greatest thing for my little family. I was an afternoon person where Elliot and Matt were night people. Well, at least we'd be able to put up with it. I parked my car on the curb. I left my bag in the back and knocked on Isaac's door. 

Max opened the door and smiled, "Hey Daniel."

"Hi Max, is Isaac around?" 

"Yeah," Max nodded, "he's packing right now. Do you want to come in and I'll find Dad?"

"Okay."

Max walked away and I shut the door behind me. I went and sat in the living room, watching the light reflected off of the shining piano. Isaac walked in, wearing a white button up with a tie around his neck and black slacks. 

"What's up?"

"Are you working today?" I asked. Isaac didn't dress up for many reasons.

"There's just a little thing a few hours away," he shrugged. "You know how it goes. Daniel, what's up? Where's Elliot? Why aren't you talking with him?" I kept silent and looked at the ground. Isaac sat next to me, "Daniel, what's going on?"

"Just want to get away," I mumbled. "Maybe start drawing again."

"You stopped?" 

"Haven't had time," I replied. "Some of us don't get paid to be artists."

Isaac flinched, "Chill out, Daniel. But do you want to get away or have space?"

"There's a difference?" 

"Get away is running, like Cody did, with not telling anyone. Having space is leaving for a few days, telling people and staying in contact. So which do you want."

"Space," I answered. "He lied to me, Isaac. I haven't hid anything from him since I was nineteen. He's been hiding this for over twenty years."

"Daniel? What are you doing here?" Jack's voice asked. 

"He's going with me on my trip," Isaac said without missing a beat. "He's told me how he's wanted to start sketching again. Which is why we're going to be a few days."

"Okay," Jack replied, "do want breakfast before you leave?"

"I already ate," I answered. 

"I'm thinking I'll grab some toast before heading out. We'll probably eat on the road," Isaac smiled. He stood up and kissed his husband. "Daniel, I'll be down with my stuff in five minutes."

"Alright," I stayed on the couch, waiting for him.

Jack returned to the kitchen, telling me to draw something amazing. I just smiled and hoped my artistic talent hasn't vanished after years of going unused. Isaac came down a minute or two later, a suitcase bouncing after him and a briefcase containing all his work materials in the other.

He looked at me, "You're driving."

"Why me?" I said standing.

"Because you're tagging along," he said brightly, "and you've got better gas mileage."

I glared at him, "Fine, but you're paying for treats and half gas. And I'm picking the hotel."

Isaac laughed, "Cool. Jack!"

Like a trained dog, he came bounding in and swept his husband off of his feet. Isaac giggled and they kissed. I'm not going to lie, I got a little jealous. Elliot and I were always close, but we didn't act like this anymore. We probably hadn't acted like this since Cody was taken from us. It just never seemed like it was the right time. But when I watched Isaac and Jack, it just seemed to be so easy for them. It was like they were still falling in love with each other.

"Daniel?" 

I looked up to see Isaac holding out his hands, Jack was carrying Isaac's stuff out to my car. It took me a moment before I realized he wanted my keys. I fished them out of my pocket and handed them to him. 

"Thank you," he smiled brightly. "We're stopping at your house so you can tell your family you're going."

"I told Cody this morning," I replied. "How the hell are you so happy?"

"Jack. I'm glad you told Cody. Now let’s go."

Isaac and I left the house. Jack was leaning against the trunk of my car with Isaac's bags. Isaac clicked the button and the trunk beeped and opened. Jack slid the bags in as Isaac handed me my keys. I slid into the front seat and watched as Jack and Isaac said their farewells. When was the last time Elliot and I kissed like that? It had been a long time, a very long time. Sure we still kissed, but ours wasn't anything like this. Isaac slid into the shotgun seat and smiled. He briefly explained where we were going. I winced. It was going to take a long time to get there.

"Daniel," Isaac said softy. 

"What?"

"You and Elliot, what's happening?" Isaac stared at the window. 

"I don't know," I sighed. "That's why I left. Elliot is my love, Isaac."

"But," Isaac pushed. 

"You and Jack just act like you're still falling in love," I said softly. "Elliot and I are still close. But now I know that he has lied to me. I love him, Isaac, but I don't know how much he loves me."

"Daniel," Isaac started. 

I cut him off by turning on the radio and turning it up. He took the hint and we kept driving in an awkwardly filled silence. 

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier," I said as we walked into our hotel room. Isaac raised an eyebrow. "About the art thing."

"It's fine, Daniel," Isaac smiled as he dropped his stuff on one of the beds. "I'm working tomorrow. You've got your time to soul search and draw."

I set my bag on the bed and began digging through for my pens and sketch pad. I set it on the bed, "This is the same one I used when we brought Matt home and it's still only half full."

Isaac picked it up and started flipping through it, "Why did you stop, really? You're amazing. I mean look at this."

I looked up at the picture he was showing me. A sad smile crossed my face. Fifteen years ago, I drew that. Elliot was holding Matt, rocking in the rocking chair. It was one of my favorite memories, and I knew that it was magical. But like the date suggested, that was fifteen years ago. We had changed a lot since then. 

"I don't know. I kept trying to draw, but then I was taking care of Matt and working at the Academy. It just got buried under everything else," I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I left at what, eight, and now it was four. And I had a small collection of missed calls and text messages, mostly from Elliot with a few from Matt. "I'm going to call Matt. I'll be back in a few."

"Alright."

I stepped into the hallway and called Matt's phone. He picked up on the third ring. "Papa?"

"Hey, Matt," I smiled. 

"Cody said you went drawing," he said into the phone. "Are you coming back?"

"Course I am," I sighed. "Isaac just wanted some company and I wanted something new to draw."

"When will you come home?"

"Few days," I answered. "As soon as Isaac's done."

"Matt," I heard Elliot's voice. "Are you talking with Papa?"

"Yes," Matt said back. 

"Can I talk to him?" 

"Papa?"

I blinked, trying to figure out why he wanted to talk to me. "I love you, Matthew. See you in a few days."

"Daniel!"

I hung the phone up and put it back in my pocket. I really didn't want to talk to Elliot at the moment. I went back into the hotel room to see Isaac sitting up in his bed, nibbling on an eraser. He smiled and put the pencil to the page.

I sat down on my own bed and grabbed my sketch pad. The pages were worn and some of the images were faded, but there was a lot still there. Elliot smiling brightly in the library, his reading glasses perched on his nose. Another was of Elliot and I holding hands. It was heart breaking and heartwarming at the same time. I grabbed a pencil from my bag and flipped to a new page. I had no drawings of Cody and the last one from Matthew was when he was two. It was time to update. 

Jack POV

I walked through the door to Max and Cody lying on the Living room floor. I blinked, slightly amused and slightly curious as to why.

"Welcome home Pops," Max muttered into the carpet.

"Might I ask what you two are doing? And where's Kara?" I asked setting my keys in the bowl we kept for them by the door. I was beginning to take off my suit jacket when they responded.

"We were talking about Daniel and how he kinda ran away like I did," Cody said bluntly.

"Kara is over at Matt's." Max answered the second question.

"With as much time as they spend looking at each other with googly eyes and text each other and talk to each other, you'd expect they were dating already. Tell your friend and foster brother to make a move already!" I smirked, causing the cute couple to laugh and agree.

I hung my suit jacket on our coat stand and sat on the couch.

"What makes you boys think Daniel ran away?" I asked. I knew exactly why they thought that, but I wanted to hear them say it.

"He just knocked on my door and said he'd be gone for a while..." Cody shrugged. "Said he wanted to draw."

I nodded. "Isaac has done that before too. What's so different about them?"

"Dad draws for a living," Max said flatly.

"That he does, and is he good at it?"

"Duh..."

I smirked.

"Have either of you seen Daniel's drawings?"

They lifted their heads and looked at each other.

I stood and motioned for them to follow. They reluctantly pressed off the floor and followed.

I walked upstairs and opened Isaac's art room. The walls were covered with my beautiful husband's drawings. All but one.

Most of the papers had been crudely pinned or tacked into the wall, all but one. One was nicely framed and hung where everyone could see. In the corner was a small signature that was clearly not Isaac's.

I pointed to it and smiled, "Daniel gave that to me when I was ready to run away."

Max and Cody's eyes looked like they were about to pop out.

"When dad was-?" Max started.

"Yeah," I cut him off. "Daniel left for College the day he gave this to me, and I felt so alone. But, I couldn't help but feel grateful. He gave me something to comfort me, not with just a picture, but with the emotions he put into it.

"Daniel, in a way, isn't running while he's running away. He's going to his happy place, his mind castle. Isaac gets paid to go to where he feels safe, his mind and his drawings. Daniel doesn't get that like he used to, and the announcement from the man he has loved for twenty years shocked him. Not enough to make him not love Elliot anymore, but enough that he's lost his comfort, and he needs a little time for Isaac to work his magic."

"You really love dad, huh?" Max said after letting the moment happen and the glitter fall.

I assumed an incredibly happy and longing expression. Isaac had been gone for less than a day, and I already miss him.

"More than life itself, but the best part is, we have been together for almost twenty years and we are still falling in love," I smiled at them and ruffled their hair, going to call or text Isaac to see how things were.

The boys looked at me in amazement, and I could tell they saw me as a relationship role model. But I kept going. I was married to Isaac for a reason, and it wasn't for "’til death do us part." It was for "let us meet again in our next life."

I made it to the kitchen when the doorbell rang. I'm not going to lie, I was slightly aggravated because I hadn't called Isaac yet, but I answered the door anyway. I was shocked to see Elliot standing there staring at his feet.

"Elliot?" I did a double take.

"Daniel isn't here... is he?" He asked pathetically.

I shook my head.

"Elliot?" I looked back to see Max and Cody at the foot of the stairs.

"Max, can you and Cody go check on Kara and Matthew?" I said, subtly hinting that I needed to talk with Elliot. Catching my message, Max nodded and held Cody's hand, pulling him out the door. I pulled Elliot inside and sat him down at the Kitchen table as I put on a pot of coffee.

Elliot still stared down.

"Isaac took Daniel with him to draw," I said, letting the coffee machine do its job. I knew better than to cook without Isaac here, I was awful, I could burn water. The machine beeped and I poured two cups. I grabbed a container with coffee cake in it and walked over to the table, giving Elliot a cup of coffee and opened the cake container.

"Cream and sugar?" I asked.

Elliot sniffed and looked up, "Some cream would be nice."

I smiled and nodded, going back for the cream and sugar. I came back and passed the cream, sitting down and mixing in my choices of flavors.

"You said Isaac took Daniel to draw?" He asked, sipping the steaming brew.

I cut a piece of coffee cake and dipped it in my caffeine high.

"Yeah, Isaac actually invited him to come along, something about needing some time to think and relax."

Elliot just nodded.

"I should have told him sooner... I kept it from him for twenty years..." He sighed.

"Your vision in hindsight is 20/20," I sighed. "The day Almirah and Isaac were taken, if I had just walked with them for half a block more, nothing may have happened, but I didn't. The past is haunting, but it makes us who we are."

Elliot couldn't deny that.

"Look, Elliot, you screwed up, so have I, more times than I care to admit, but Daniel won't just stop loving you because you made a mistake."

"How do you know that?"

"Daniel would not have stuck with you for twenty years, since high school, more than half his life, if a stupid mistake was all it took for him to leave you."

Elliot looked as if that had never crossed his mind.

I sighed, "Isaac is the same way. One of the first times he did sketches for the FBI, I was an asshole and I was terrified that he wasn't going to come back, but when he did, I knew it would take more than me being stupid for him to leave. He has the eyes of innocence, the face of an angel, the personality of a dreamer, and a smile that hides more pain than you can ever imagine."

Elliot looked up from his coffee to meet my gaze.

"What Daniel needs most right now is time, and an apology he won't forget." I stood and walked to a book case with all the photo albums. I pulled out an album and flipped to a page I never let Daniel or Elliot see before, pulling out a printout cell phone picture of a young Elliot in an all-white suit on one knee holding a rose to his pissed off boyfriend in front of a cafeteria full of students. I shut the book and put it back, walking back over and setting the photo in front of Elliot, who just looked at it with fond wide eyes.

"Come on, he's been mad before. Be romantic. But most of all, be yourself. You haven't changed, you're still Elliot James-Erikson." I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Have faith that everything will be alright and work out for the best."

"Even if the best is Daniel leaving me?" Elliot looked up at me, tears threatening to fall.

"If that's what the gods have planned, then you need to accept it. But until then, fight off the worry and let your faith begin."

Elliot looked like a huge weight had been lifted.

"You're the only one that would ever say that, Jack, you know that?"

"I owe a lot to you and Daniel, and I'll be damned if I don't tell the truth."

"Then tell me the truth now," Elliot sighed. "What do you think is going to happen?"

I looked him in the eyes and sighed. "I don't know, but I want to believe that you two will go back to having a beautiful relationship. You two were Isaac and my role model relationship. For better or worse, you still are. Fight for it. Fight for him. Bring Daniel back. You love him, right?"

Elliot nodded in the affirmative.

"Then let him go. If he comes back, then you know it will all be okay."

I took a bite of my coffee cake and marveled at the fact that it was still delicious and moist after two day. My husband was a culinary genius!

Husband!

I set the cake down and reached in my pocket for my cell phone. Speed dial was a glorious invention, if I do say so myself.

The phone rang twice, as was the norm.

"Hey, Hun," He always answered the phone so professionally, but not with me. I felt special that way.

"How are you doing?" I asked casually.

"Straight to business, you're no fun."

I'll admit that I smirked.

Isaac sighed over the phone, "Daniel seems to be relaxing, I was in my zone and then you called."

"My bad," I winced.

"It's alright, you couldn't have known. How are the kids fairing?"

"Well enough. Max and Cody had never seen one of Daniel's drawings before."

"Uncultured swine!" Isaac gasped. "Please tell me you fixed that."

"You bet I did," I answered immediately.

"Good man, I taught you well."

"They thought he was running away," Elliot looked up at me with a worried look.

"He kinda was," Isaac admitted.

"Fair enough, but I do think he just needed some time in his mind palace."

"And he can't exactly get that at home, got it." I could imagine my husband's expression as he spoke. He would have a slight smirk on his face and would be swaying his head from side to side as he adjusted himself onto his hotel room bed. Man, I wish I was with him.

"What about Kara?"

"She's been with Matthew since before I got home," I explained.

"Are they dating yet?"

"Not a clue," I shrugged.

"With as much time as they spend googly eying, texting and actually talking to each other it would be about damned time."

"Amen," I nodded.

Elliot's expression seemed to lighten up a little bit.

"Let me know when you're sketching is over tomorrow. It'll be Saturday and I'm missing my husband already."

"I miss you too, snowflake."

"I love you, firefly."

We hung up and I continued munching on my cake.

"You two have a sweet relationship," Elliot smiled sadly.

"So do you two," I smiled genuinely. "You're just hitting a speed bump."

"Feels like Mount Everest," Elliot muttered, running a hand through his hair.

'Or a brick wall,' I mentally commented, keeping it to myself.

"Elliot, look, you just need to give it time. Soft, slow moving waters can make canyons out of mountains. You just have to give it time." I cut him a piece of cake and gave it to him. He accepted it graciously and took a bite.

He froze mid chewing process.

"Your husband is a culinary genius," he said with wide eyes. "He needs to give me the recipe for this."

I smiled and sipped my coffee. Time, that's all that was needed now. Time.

Daniel POV

Time passed slowly and the room was filled with the sound of pencils scratching on paper. And eraser scraping from my end. For the life of me, I couldn't catch Elliot's eyes the way I wanted. There was something lacking, something I couldn't pick up from memory. I tossed the pad across the room and groaned. 

"You hungry, Isaac?"

"Not really," he responded. "I'm in the zone."

I walked up behind him and saw him drawing Jack as his famous winter counterpart, complete with the youthful glow and mischievous grin. It wasn't much different than what he usually wore on his face, actually. I fought the jealousy in my stomach and walked to the door, grabbing my wallet and keys. 

"I'm going to eat," I said as I opened the door. "Call me if you need me."

"Call Elliot," he yelled after me. 

Not likely. I did need to speak with Cody and Matt, though. I walked out to my car and found the nearest fast food place and got the most unhealthy thing I could and gods did it taste horrible. I could feel the heart attack that was waiting to happen. Oh well, grease was pretty good for covering a broken heart. 

I finished my meal and returned to the car and sat, watching the sun set. I should call my sons. I punched Cody's number into my phone and called. 

"Hello?"

"How are things going, Cody?" I asked. 

"Elliot's freaking out," Cody said simply. "Jack keeps saying that you and Isaac went out on a business trip."

"He did," I tapped the steering wheel with my free hand. "Isaac let me tag along."

"Good. I don't think you should have gone alone. I had Luke, sometimes. He made this easier." Cody sounded a lot wiser than he should have for fourteen years old. "Elliot asked us to tell him if you called. He wanted to talk to you. He's helping Matt get into his pajamas and into bed."

"Early to go to bed, isn't it?"

"Matt stays up for a while writing on his tablet before going to bed," Cody replied. "Should I go get Elliot?"

"No," I sighed, "but tell him I'll call him before I go to bed."

"Alright," Cody was silent. "You promised you'd come back."

"I know, and I will keep that promise." I sighed, "Goodnight, Cody."

"Night."

I sighed. I missed my little boys, even if they weren't little any more. Cody had a maturity beyond that of a fourteen year old and Matt had a wide variety of people experience dealing with foster kids I brought in. They were still my children, even if Cody didn't think of us like that. I wanted to go back to my kids, but I didn't want to go back to Elliot yet. I loved my partner, and I was sure that I never wanted to leave him, but I didn't want to say a lot to him yet.

I turned the car on and drove back to the hotel where Isaac and I were staying. I pulled into the parking lot and idled. Elliot was calling me again, his ringtone echoing through the car. It was about nine thirty, and Elliot was probably done helping Matt and now getting ready for bed himself. Against my better judgment, I answered the phone and got out of the car. 

"Hello, Elliot," I tried to keep my voice cold. 

"Daniel," the joy and relief in Elliot's voice washed over me. I felt a little guilty for how I was talking to him, "Gods, I've missed you. Why'd you leave, sweetie?"

"Don't sweetie me, Elliot," I sighed, walking into the hotel and towards the elevator. "I answered the phone so you would know that I'm not running away. Isaac and I decided to have an artistic retreat."

"Oh," Elliot's voice deflated. My heart started to break as I tried ignoring the pain I may have been causing, "I'm glad you're okay, Daniel."

"Elliot," I said, the elevator door sliding shut. "I'm going to come back. You dropped a bomb on me. Did you expect me to keep going as if nothing changed?"

"No, I thought we would talk through it," Elliot admitted. "I thought you needed to know."

"I'm glad you told me, I just wish you told me sooner." 

The elevator dinged, signaling the arrival at my floor. I walked to the room, waiting for Elliot to say something back. He didn't respond, but I could hear his heavy and saddened breathing over the phone. I fumbled with the door key. 

"I love you, Daniel."

"I love you too," I whispered in response. "Take care, Elliot James-Erikson. And keep the house clean."

"Alright," I heard Elliot's smile from across the phone. "Night, sweetie."

"Goodnight Elliot," I smiled softly in response.

I knew he couldn't see it, but I knew he could feel my smile. He hung his side of the phone up and I slid mine back into my pocket and walked into the room. Isaac looked up from his sketch pad and raised an eyebrow. "By the gods, I do think you might be forgiving him. Awe, you're smiling. I want juicy details."

My cheeks were hot as I looked at the ground, "Nothing actually happened, Isaac. "We had like a minute conversation on the phone. All I told him to not to break the house."

"That's boring," Isaac muttered. "Jack called earlier. Apparently Elliot's heartbroken."

"I'm aware," I collapsed on my bed and watched the ceiling. "You and Jack have an amazing relationship."

"Your relationship is just as good, if not better," Isaac replied. "You're just having issues getting over this bump."

"It's a damn mountain," I slid down the bed and grabbed my suitcase. I pulled out my pajamas and looked over at Isaac. 

He sighed and put his pencils down. "A gentle breeze can turn a mountain to dust, given enough time."

I didn't reply, but went into the bathroom to change. When I came back out Isaac was curled up on his bed, breathing slowly. I rolled my eyes at the younger boy and crawled into my own bed and fell asleep, dreaming of Elliot. 

My sabbatical came to an end much sooner than I would have liked. Over the last few days, I had drawn both of my children, Cody and Max holding hands, and pictures from my past. Yet no matter what I did, I could not get Elliot's eyes right. So if he was in my sketch then it was incomplete. I was pretty sure Isaac caught on, and I was grateful that he didn't ask me any questions. I pulled into the Frost's driveway and parked my car. 

"I don't want to go home," I grumbled.

"Well I do," Isaac raised one of his eyebrows. "Look, it's only going to get worse if you don't do anything. Go home, talk to your kids, kiss and make up with Elliot."

"Isaac," I started.

He opened the door to cut me off. He got out of the car and looked back at me. "Go home, idiot."

Isaac grabbed his suitcase and walked home, to where his true love awaited. What was waiting for me when I got home? It was probably a mad and upset lover with seriously grumpy children. I didn't want to go home, but my life was there and I could spend the rest of my days dreading my home. This was just something I needed to do. I pulled out of the driveway and began the short drive home.

I pulled into my spot and turned the car off. It was now or never, and I was already hesitating more than I should have. I decided to leave my stuff in the car, just in case things went south. As I walked towards the house, I noticed a distinct lack sound. Cody wasn't playing the piano and Matthew wasn't cracking jokes or playing loud video games. Did they already sense the mood and just want to get out of the way as quickly as they could? I wouldn't put it past Cody, the perceptive little musician. I pushed the garage door open and gasped at what was inside. 

It was like a scene from a romance novel. All the lights were down low, and there were small burning candles lining the floor towards the dining room. A single rose sat on the ground in front of me, a sealed letter sitting on top of it. I knelt on the ground and lifted the letter from the ground. I broke the seal, and pulled the letter out. 

•Daniel,

  I love you, sweetie. Here's the first of your roses. And remember, "Love is not love which alters when alteration finds."

-E•

Damn it all, I thought as I picked the rose up. The rose was beautiful, a deep red with a tantalizing scent. I read the words on the page, trying to remember where I had heard them before. A cold chill ran down my back, and I remembered the day it snowed after our first anniversary. Those same lines are what he used to apologize then. I swallowed and stood, holding the rose up against my chest. I was the one at fault here. I'm the one who ran away. It was me who should have been apologizing to Elliot. 

That meant I needed to find him. 

I decided that the trail of candles would be the best bet. I walked into my dining room and paused. The rose fell from my hand and I gasped. Elliot's gray eyes were twinkling in the candle light, accented by his white suit. Elliot walked over to me, a bouquet of twelve roses in his hand. He grabbed the one I dropped and added it to his collection before offering them to me. I accepted them carefully, admiring them in the candlelight as we stood in a somewhat tense silence. 

"Don't cry, sweetie," Elliot whispered. "I didn't want to make you sad. I just wanted to-"

I shut him up with a kiss. When we finally broke apart, I rested my head on his shoulder. "They're happy tears, Elliot."

He wrapped his arms around me, "Good. I'm sorry, Daniel."

"Don't be sorry," I moved off his shoulder and looked at the roses. "I'm the one who ran off. I'm the one who didn't have a good way to process information. I'm sorry for leaving."

"We must be blind," Elliot grabbed my hand and we walked to our table. It was at that point I saw the food laid out on the table, and the bottle of wine sitting in the center. 

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I said, as Elliot pulled out my chair. "We need to talk."

"I know," Elliot sat across from me. He poured the wine into my glass, and then his own.

I took a sip, "Why the white suit?"

"Jack," he smiled, "he has a photo from when I first wore this and showed it to me. He and Isaac came up with some of this plan."

"Of course they did," I chuckled. "I swear that they put more energy in keeping us together than I did trying to get them together." I froze as I raised the glass to my lips. Elliot was frozen as well, his eyes wide. The full force of my words hit my head, and I gripped the glass tightly. "Gods, that's not what I meant, Elliot."

"You think we're falling out of love, don't you?" Elliot asked softly. 

I was silent. My eyes met Elliot's, "We're not falling in love, if that's what you mean. But that doesn't mean I don't love you, Elliot James-Erikson. You are my true love, even if we don't show it the same way we did years ago."

Elliot sighed, avoiding my gaze. "You've picked up the habit of chewing on your nails when you get frustrated or upset. You've started to brush your hair differently. You've moved from sleeping on your stomach to on your back. You've buried all of your art supplies under everything else, but sometimes you find yourself looking at where they are longingly until someone distracts you. You don't react to my touch unless its negative. You've started to spend more and more time at the Academy.

"I love you, Daniel, and I love you more and more each day," he paused, looking up at me. "I love your quirky grin when Matt makes a sarcastic comment. I love the joy on your eyes when Cody plays the piano. I love the life in your voice when you talk about the kids you helped at the Academy. I love how you will leave a little note every morning for Matt and Cody before they go to school. I'm still falling in love, sweetie."

It was my turn to look away. I didn't know that Elliot was watching me like that. I didn't know that he knew about my notes, or anything. I didn't even realize I missed my art until I started drawing again. Elliot knew, though. He probably had known for a long time. "Gods damn it."

I buried my head in my hands and tried to stay composed. Elliot's chair made a squeaking noise as he got up and started to move away. "We should have waited until after dinner to talk. I'm going upstairs."

The sound of his footfalls got farther and farther away, and I sat in the romantically lit dining room with the meal for two still steaming on the table.  I proceeded to put my head on the table and cried. 

"I love you, Elliot."

21: Future

Matthew POV

School was starting up again, and something was wrong. Ever since Papa came back from his trip with Isaac, he and Dad had been acting strangely. I didn't notice because Papa would still crack jokes and started drawing again. He still left Cody and me little notes a few mornings every week, just like he did during the summer. Dad was still ready to listen and consistently making sure we were doing the right things. He and Papa both helped me transition from my wheelchair to my crutches. 

I must have been oblivious to a lot, because it took Cody sitting on a chair outside on one August night with me for me to make the connection. 

"Hey Matt," Cody smiled as he sat down next to me.

"Howdy," I looked out at the setting sun, not wanting to look away. "Where's Max?"

"Family dinner night with Isaac's parents. I didn't want to go and Max was okay with it."

"Why didn't you want to go?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Elliot and Daniel," Cody said simply. "Have you noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

Cody shook his head, "Max noticed. Kara has noticed something's off. You must be the only one who can't feel it."

"No, I know that something is off, but I can't figure it out," I looked out at the waving grass. "You have an idea, don't you?"

"I do," Cody muttered. "I don't like it either, but nothing else makes sense."

"Are you going to share?" I pressed after a few minutes of silence passed. 

"I think they're breaking up," Cody replied. "When Daniel came back, something happened between them. I don't know why, but Daniel and Elliot don't touch each other like they used to. They don't laugh. Their smiles seem strained." 

"They're breaking up?" I echoed, worried. I didn't want him to be right, but it made sense and explained why things were happening the way they did. 

"They're probably only still together because of us," Cody grimaced. "They don't want us to think that anything is wrong."

"They're not doing a very good job," I tapped my crutches on the ground. "What are we going to do?"

Cody shrugged, "I don't know. Everyone else has figured it out. Even Jack and Isaac have caught on, but they're not doing anything."

"We should talk to them," I decided. 

"Or to Isaac," Cody shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if he was masterminding some plan to help everything get better."

"Anyone want ice cream?" Cody and I bother jumped as Papa came out the back door, carrying bowls in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other. Dad came out after him, a small smile across his face. Cody and I exchanged glances as Dad helped Papa put the bowls down. 

"What flavor?" 

"Coconut," Papa said brightly.

Any hope I had of something good coming of this deflated with his announcement. He should have known that I have a serious allergy to coconut and other tropical fruits. Dad picked the ice cream up and started walking it inside. 

"I can't believe this," he muttered. Dad paused and watched the setting sun before going back inside. Papa blinked twice, confused. 

"I thought he liked coconut," he frowned. 

"He does, but he can't eat it if there's a chance I may come into contact with it. I'm allergic, remember?" I raised my wrist and showed off the bracelet he and Dad made me wear, "I'm even wearing the damn medical alert bracelet."

Papa's eyes widened and it was like a veil was lifted from over him. He gathered the bowls as his shoulders slumped. He looked up at me and smiled sadly, "Didn't mean to forget, I just wanted to try and do something nice for the family."

"It's okay, Papa," I replied, not meeting his gaze. 

He went into the house and left Cody and me alone. Cody groaned and tossed his head back. "Are they even trying anymore? Gods, Daniel would never forget something like that, not for anything."

"He was trying to do something for Dad," I shrugged. "That's got to count for something, right?"

"Not if it makes him blind to something that could kill you," Cody said bluntly. "At least Elliot had the decency to take the ice cream away from you before pain eating his way through it."

Cody and I sat quietly and watched the sun disappear behind the horizon. I looked over at Cody, "This is really messed up."

"Thanks for catching up," Cody muttered. "But really, what are we going to do?"

"Talk to Isaac and Jack," I suggested, echoing Cody's earlier statement. "I think Jack and Isaac were there when they broke up the first time. Papa and Dad have been through a lot."

"You can only chip away at something for so long before it becomes too weak to stay together," Cody said darkly, "and then it shatters into thousands of little pieces."

"Cody, Matt," Isaac seemed shocked as he pulled the door open, "what are you doing here?"

I shifted on my crutches. It took a lot longer to get here than it had before. Cody met Isaac's gaze, "We're worried about Elliot and Daniel."

Isaac nodded, "Come in."

We followed Isaac into his house and into their living room. Cody and I sat in matching chairs as Isaac sat on the couch. We sat in silence, no one wanting to say anything. I rubbed my leg above the cast. 

"You've noticed, then," Isaac sighed. "I was wondering how long it would take their stupidity to affect you."

"I've known something was wrong for a while," Cody admitted. "It was Matt who just figured it out."

Isaac looked over at me, "What happened?"

"Papa tried to give us all coconut ice cream," I said softly. "Dad stormed off with the ice cream."

"I don't get it," Isaac muttered. "We've tried everything in the world to keep them together. But it's like they don't care what Jack and I think. They don't remember that we came to them for relationship advice, and now we're trying to keep it together. Cody, tell me honestly, do you and Max look at my relationship or Daniel's for advice?"

Cody bit his lip and looked down at the ground, "Initially, Daniel's, but now it's yours."

I looked at Cody in a mixture of approval and confusion. I understood why he looked to Isaac and Jack. They were just so innocent and loving. They did everything to support each other and their kids. Papa and Dad did, at one point. They covered the other's weaknesses with their own strengths. The ice cream thing last night proved that the attention to Cody and me wasn't fully there. Everything's fallen to pieces because I pissed off Cody. Or because of Cody. 

Guilt washed over me when I had that thought. Cody did nothing on purpose and this was most definitely not his fault. He cared for Papa and Dad the same way I did. He would never do something to damage that relationship on purpose.

Unless it wasn't an accident, in which case it was his-

Stop it, Matthew. 

"They're going to break up and divorce," I muttered. I buried my head in my hands, "They don't care enough about me and Cody. I'm going to have to go with Dad and Cody will go back to the foster system. That's what's happening, isn't it?"

"No," Isaac whispered next to me, apparently having crossed the room. He put his hand on my shoulder in an attempt for comfort. "They're trying for you two. Daniel and Elliot talk to me, and they don't want to see you two drift away from them. But I don't think they see it happening."

"They're not going to get over this," I mumbled. 

"Matt, look at me." Isaac ordered. 

I complied and looked him in the eyes. His eyes were set firmly in an emotion I didn't think was possible to still have: hope. Sure, there was a touch of frustration and anger, but hope still lived strong within them. 

"Your parents' love is strong enough to break any mountain," he smiled. "They've done it before, and they'll do it again. Love, true love, is strong."

"Unless they don't exercise their love and then it becomes so weak that it disintegrates in front of challenges like these," Cody said coldly, "and then drags everyone to Hell with it."

"You don't mean that," Isaac turned to look at the younger boy. 

I was terrified of Cody at that point. He seemed to be releasing a dark aura that was poisoning the air around him. His normally warm brown eyes had an icy feel to them. He just laughed, a hollow sound that echoed throughout the house.  I wanted Max to come running in to calm his boyfriend down, but he didn't appear. 

"Oh I do. Ten years I've been in foster care. Seven homes I've lived in, plus my original. You want to know a secret, something that Daniel and Elliot don't know about me?" He paused, staring Isaac dead on. Cody stood up and folded his arms. "Love is a terrible, beautiful gift. My parents are still alive, as far as I know. But that's because my dad is serving seventy-face years for selling, possession, and use of illegal drugs, child endangerment, abuse, neglect and armed robbery. He got my mom pregnant and I was born. He then got her hooked on coke and ecstasy. You know, she could be dead right now, floating in a river or in the mortuary as a Jane Doe because she overdosed or got killed by a drug dealer. All because she fell in love with him. He didn't love her, she was just money. The love vanished. He went to jail and Child Protective Services took me away. I was four.

"My mom's parents didn't want me, because they disowned my drug loving mother. I don't think my dad had parents either. So I got chucked and thrown around the foster system to families with love and those without. Daniel and Elliot had the most, but the runner up was with the people I stayed with the longest. Lucky house number five, where I was raped. Then I come here, five months ago. I fell in love and got my heart broken. I went to house seven, and fell in love with Isaiah who then broke my heart. Now I'm with Max. Again. 

"Look me in the eye and tell me I don't know about love," Cody's voice had been steadily rising in intensity. He walked over to where Isaac was kneeling. Cody knelt in front of him, his body releasing a cold detachment all while his eyes screamed flames. "Love is awful, painful, beautiful.  But it's fragile, and if it disintegrates, it will destroy everyone like a black hole."

"Cody," I mouthed, unable to speak. 

The younger boy rolled his eyes and walked back to his chair, "But we're not talking about the past right now. We're discussing the future and the odds that I will be torn away from my first real family in ten years and be shipped off to home number eight because my two damn guardians can't keep their issues together and talk it out like normal people."

My mouth was dry as I tried to comprehend what Cody just told us. Cody definitely had it worse than the rest of us have. Isaac and Papa both went through a lot, but they had support afterwards. Cody was left on his own to deal with everything, even after he met us. Isaac looked at Cody, his eyes filled. 

"I know you think that I don't know love that has failed, I fell in love with Jack and have been with him ever since. But I am the first to admit that it hasn't been easy." Isaac crossed his arms, his normally happy voice turning darker. "Positivity is the only thing keeping me sane and keeping me with Jack. I don't think for one moment that I could have moved on without Jack right there next to me, and when Max and Kara came into my life, it just reinforced that thought. Love isn't the thing that destroys... solitude is. Now, don't leave your parents alone. I can't get through to them, and if they are anything like me, Jack and I cant. In times like this, it's my kids that can speak to me louder than my friends."

"They don't really seem to care about us," Cody grumbled. "They gave us coconut ice cream. I've only known Matt for six months and I knew that. Daniel is supposed to know and remember everything important."

"Not all parents remember everything at all times," Isaac said firmly. "It was probably just a slip, and it's Elliot's favorite flavor."

"Still," Cody shook his head. "Any comments, Matthew?"

I rubbed my forehead, "I don't know. Papa and Dad can't break up, but now, it's a possibility."

"Welcome to reality," Cody growled. "Look, Isaac, what do we do? If they break up, then Max loses his boyfriend and Matt will go with Elliot and Daniel will be alone."

Isaac sighed, "Make them talk?"

Cody looked up and for the first time I saw the worry and sorrow in his eyes, "What if that doesn't work? I don't want to leave. I love it here. I love Max."

"You have to believe that whatever happens is the gods' will," Isaac shrugged.

Cody and I sat in my temporary room. The haunting melody of Loss drifted through the room. Cody's fingers shook as he missed various notes as the anxious energy manifested itself in him. Cody groaned and stopped playing the song. He looked up at me, his eye pained. 

"I don't want to do this," he sighed. 

"This has to happen," I whispered, trying to conceal my own emotions, a trick I picked up from Dad. "We love them and they love each other."

He looked over at me, "Do they? I've seen love."

"Isaiah shouldn't count," I said flatly.

"With my sister and her boyfriend," Cody whispered, ignoring my statement. He wiped something out of his eyes. "I'm worried that this is just going to end, and we'll never see each other again. My knights in shining armor will have destroyed each other, and my fantasy with it."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Cody took a deep shaky breath in, calming himself. He flashed a smile. If I had not just seen him wipe a tear out of his eye, then I would have found it genuine. Cody should have been an actor, with the skill he had masking his emotions. 

Someone knocked on the door. Cody stood up and sat next to me, his eyes meeting mine. In that brief moment, courage surged through me. He was my brother and we were not going to let something change that. It was time to get started. 

"Matt? Is Cody in there? I thought I heard him playing Loss," Papa opened the door, Dad standing a few feet behind him. Tension filled the room as both of my parents came into the room. Cody reached across his body and squeezed, fighting his inner panic. "This doesn't look good."

"No," Dad rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Our son and foster-child are sitting on a bed, watching us. Matt is imitating the trick that made you mad at me and Cody is trying to conceal his emotions the only way he can. This can only be a good thing."

This was going to be harder than I thought. Cody had his eyes closed and was taking the deep, calming breaths. It took me a moment to realize why. Dad always called Cody his son, never a foster-child. Papa was jumping in to correct it, either. 

"Just stop, Elliot," Papa shook his head. "Now is not the time or the place."

"Or it is," I said stiffly. "We need to talk."

"About what, Matt?" Papa looked genuinely confused. That look of total confusion stabbed me through the heart. If Papa and Dad couldn't figure out what was wrong with this picture, then how could Cody and I fix it?

"About you and Dad," I decided a swift approach would work better. "You nearly gave me coconuts. You two walk around, not really doing anything to support each other."

"What?" Dad looked at me, his eyes narrowing. "You don't understand, Matt. This is an adult thing."

"He understands plenty," Papa snapped. "Why else would they be having an intervention?"

"They're not having an intervention," Dad scoffed. 

"Yes they are, and this has Isaac's name written all over it," Dad shook his head. "Matt, Cody, tell me what's going on."

Cody seemed to sink into the bed, his eyes downcast. I felt Cody move behind me. He was freaking out, and rightfully so. He was also using me as a shield, but that was okay. If he needed someone and Max was unavailable, then I'd be there. Cody had been opinionated with Isaac, but there was something in this situation that scared him to where he didn't want to say anything. 

"Papa, Dad," I said slowly, "we know something's going on. You're trying for us, but you're not trying very hard."

Papa paled, "Matt, I-"

"Daniel," Dad shook his head. He looked back at me, "You don't understand what's fully happening, Matt. There's more happening here than you think. Contrary to what you think, we do notice what's going on."

For the first time in a long while, I watched as Papa put his hand on Dad's shoulder. Dad seemed to relax at the motion. For a few seconds, something existed, something was there. Dad's gaze fell and he shoved the hand off of his shoulder. He turned to go out of the room. Cody gripped my arm and his mood darkened into that same mood it had been when he confronted Isaac about love.

"You may have been present, Elliot, but you haven't paid very close attention," Cody was speaking softly, but the entire room's attention was directed at the small boy hiding behind my arms. "You weren't there when I started cutting again."

I winced, recalling the memory. This was back at the end of July, when Cody started wearing longer sleeved clothing. Both of my parents commented on his attire, but neither asked why. I found out because I rolled in on Cody bandaging his arms. I told Max, and it was Jack and Isaac who helped Cody. It only now struck me as odd, a symptom of whatever was plaguing my parents. 

"You were cutting?" Dad said, his voice blank and emotionless. Papa was getting even whiter, which I didn't think was possible. 

"Matt stopped it. He got Max involved and that got Jack and Isaac involved. The entire thing happened without you batting an eye," Cody showed off his wrists, smiling grimly. "Matt and the Frosts saved me, not you. Not Daniel. My guardians didn't care. They don't even care about each other."

It was silent in the room and the frightening aura around Cody retreated back into his body. He retreated to his spot next to and behind me. Papa and Dad looked frightened of what they were just accused of. I would be too, honestly. If my child blamed me for them hurting themselves, I could never forgive myself. Papa was shaking, holding his arms tight to his body. Dad kept looking between Cody and Papa. He walked next to Papa and wrapped his arms around him. 

"I'm sorry Cody," Dad whispered.

Cody didn't respond. I put my arm around him protectively. "You should go. I'm going to take Cody to Max."

My parents exchanged glances and walked out of the room. Cody sighed and looked back up at me, "That worked."

"What?"

Cody stood up, brushing himself off and wiping his eyes. "I forced them to realize we were being hurt because of them. How else were they going to react?"

I shrugged and grabbed my crutches. "Come on. I want to talk to Kara and you need Max."

"No I don't," Cody lied weakly. 

"Yes you do," I sighed, standing. "Now come on. I'm going and I need your help to get there in one piece.

"What did you do?" Jack shook his head, "You came to talk to Isaac yesterday and now Elliot and Daniel want you to stay the night."

I shrugged, looking at the plate of scones on the table. I grabbed one and looked across the dinner table. When Isaac was told we were going to spend the night, he swept into the kitchen and began making dinner, all while complaining that he would have to make the guest room presentable for the first time in years. Max and Kara were laughing at their dad's frustration, until Isaac told Max that he needed to make it nice. Max grumbled but went off to prep the bedroom. That was before dinner started. 

"Pass the powdered sugar," Max boomed from the spot across from Cody and too far to stretch and reach it 

"You're loud," Cody smiled, handing his boyfriend the amazing topping.

"You love me for it," Max poured several spoonfuls of sugar onto his scone. 

"It's a reason," Cody rolled his eyes. 

"They're so adorable," I heard Isaac whisper. 

He was sitting to my right and across from Jack. Which put me across from Kara. I detected a pattern of how we were supposed to be sitting across from our significant other. I blushed when I discovered this and proceeded to find reasons to not meet Kara's eyes. 

Jack hummed in contentment, looking at his small family and his friends. I cut into the scone, a faint smile painted over my face. I supposed that this moment gave me a little more hope than I had for a long while. I could stay with Jack and Isaac and I had a feeling they would do everything in their power to try and keep Cody close to Max. Isaac put his hand and my shoulder and smiled, "Have faith in the gods, Matt, I have a good feeling about this."

"I hope so."

I reached across the table and grabbed a second scone and prepared it for dinner, listening and letting the laughter and life fill me. 

The Spirit of Time

The ancient creature watched two men standing on a porch in the dead of night. It knew that a few houses over, the men's sons sat laughing in the night in a room together, each sharing the unspoken hope that their family would remain together. The older of the sons was suffering in physical pain and the younger of the sons was emotionally destroyed. The Spirit of Time drifted on a cloud, watching as the taller man tugged on a white suit coat. He then proceeded to help the smaller man into a brown jacket. 

It was amusing to the Spirit of Time. This Elliot and Daniel had found the love within themselves after it had been torn apart. The Spirit's Elion and Daniel were happy where they were...more or less. The gift the Spirit bestowed upon his chosen gods left them bitter and alone. Time jumped down from the cloud and landed softly on the roof, attempting to hear the conversation below. 

"What are we doing?" The shorter asked, his arms wrapped tightly around him. "Cody probably hates us."

"We're giving him and Matt time away from us so we could talk," Elliot replied. "We talked and got over it, more or less. We needed this to grow."

"And why are we dressed up like we were for our first anniversary?" 

Elliot chuckled, "It felt right."

"Are we going to talk to our kids about what we went through?" Daniel's voice lowered to a point that the Spirit of Time had to strain to hear. 

"They know," Elliot replied. 

The Spirit of Time heard the faintest sigh. A few seconds later he heard the hopeful sound of lips parting in a kiss and then a laugh. Elliot dragged his younger partner out to the center of their large back yard. Daniel had always wanted to build a "secret garden," full of life and light with a stone passage into a covered iron gazebo. Elliot had been perfecting over the last few years in secret. It wasn't quite finished, the Spirit of Time noticed. It snapped its fingers and Daniel's garden was finished right as Elliot dragged Daniel into it. 

"Gods," Daniel whispered, "You built this for me?"

"I did," Elliot's voice rang out.

The Spirit of Time floated above the gazebo, watching the lovers embrace and kiss gently. The white coated man swept the younger man up against him. "Can I have this dance?"

"There's no music," Daniel whispered. 

"Do we need it?" 

With subtle and indescribable movements the duo danced in the full light of the full moon.