Prologue

    “I’m having a really great time.” Will said, staring into my eyes.

    “Me too.” I smiled at my boyfriend, and then down at my shoes. I was 17 and I have an amazing boyfriend, Will who I was able to tell my deepest secret, and he accepted it for what it was, was happy for me even.

    “You look really nice by the way, have I mentioned that yet?” Will asked, he seemed to be nervous, this was our first dance as boyfriend and girlfriend, but we’ve been friends since kindergarten.

    “Yeah, about seven times, but thank you.” My smile widened. I was wearing a cream dress with black paint splattered across the bottom hem. My long brown hair that was normally wavy was now curled in bobs around my head and I wore black flats so I didn’t seem taller than I already was.

    The slow song that had been playing ended and my arms slowly fell from around his neck, I didn’t realize until now how heavily I had been breathing. Will’s breathing was the same. “Wanna get some punch?”

    “Sure.” I breathed. We headed over to the punch table and he poured me a glass and handed it to me. “Thanks. I’m so glad this night has been going so well, usually whenever I’m having a good time something has to go wrong.” I took a drink of punch and soundly felt self-conscious about my teeth turning red.

    “Yeah, I’m glad too, but you may have just jinxed it.” Will said.

    “I do that a lot, don’t I?” I said, I always felt so bad for running off in the middle of a date, that’s why I wanted to avoid the whole dating thing, at least as friends we never made that great of commitments to each other, but he had asked my out, and there was no way to avoid his begging brown eyes.

    “I guess you kind of do, but it’s just one of your quirks, and it’s not like I mind, I realize you’re committed to this, it’s a job, a commit you made long before your commitment to me, besides, we can always reschedule.” Will said smiling.

    “We can’t reschedule something like this,” I said, gesturing my hand around the room. “this is something our school put on, we can’t recreate this.”

    “No, but we can crash another schools.” I rolled my eyes but starting laughing immediately afterward. “I love the way you laugh, and smile. Sometimes when you smile your nose crinkles a little right on the bridge, it’s adorable.”

    I found myself blushing profusely. “So now that we’re dating you start noticing this stuff?”

    “No, please, you underestimate me, I’ve been staring at your crinkly, smiley nose for years, it would just have been awkward to tell you so sooner.”

    “Yes I suppose that’s true, just like I love the way your eyes give away all your emotions.” I said.

    “You’ve only just noticed my emotionally filled eyes now?” Will smiled.

    “I-” I started but my phone started beeping, so I took it out of my pocket and my heart immediately sank. I showed Will my phone and he nodded, but sadness was evident in his eyes.

    “You have to go.”

    I nodded, Will had never seen me cry, at least I don’t think, but I was on the verge of tears just then. Of course this night had to be ruined, I couldn’t have a normal life, I could pretend I did, I could tell people about my ‘secret’ life, but that didn’t change anything. I turned and started walking away, he knew the drill, we had both arrived in separate cars just to be safe.

    As I was just about to leave our school gym, a hand grabbed my arm. “Hey, Skylar…”

    “Will, you know I have to leave.” I said, but inside my head I was breaking down. Please, please let me go, I don’t want you to see me crying.

    “Yes, I know, but just this once, please, please spare one minute to tell me what you were going to say.” I’d never seen him so desperate before, he really must want to know what I was going to say.

    I took a deep breath. “I’ve been staring into your eyes for years, it just would have been awkward for me to tell you so.” I saw a smile stretch across his face just as I turned and pushed open the gym doors.

 

2: Chapter One

Chapter One

    I got in my car and started the engine, then pulled out my phone and dialed the number that had given me the alert. “Hello Sir. What is it this time?”

    “Emergency meeting.” A male voice said back into my ear.

    I had to slam on my brakes to stop from hitting the car in front of me, while the car behind me honked its horn.

    “What?” I screamed into my phone. “A meeting? I thought this was an emergency.”

    “Yes, an emergency meeting.” The voice said back, it was my boss’s assistant, Blaze. “Why, were you busy?”

    “Yeah kinda.” I said, not caring if he heard the annoyance in my voice. I pulled my car over to the side of the road so I could concentrate on breaking his eardrum.

    “What were you doing?” Blaze asked.

    “You know this thing, yeah it’s called privacy and a personal life.”

    “Oh come on Sky, you can tell me if you were on a date.” Blaze teased.

    “I wasn’t on a date, I am on a date, I’m going back.” I said, already turning on my blinker and putting my hands back on the wheel.

    “Sky, come on, this is your job we’re talking about.” Blaze pleaded.

    “Blaze, it’s a meeting, I left Will on the dance floor, at our school’s junior prom, alone, I’m going back.”

    “Ooooh, Willy…”

    “Bye!” I said in a false cheery voice and hung up.

 

    I drove back to the dance and my parking spot was still open so I parked my car and went back inside. I walked through the hallways and towards the gym, getting butterflies in my stomach all over again at the thought of actually finishing my date for once.

I opened the doors to the gym and craned my neck to try and find Will, I saw the back of his head and slowly made my way over to him, pushing my way through the crowd. When I got close enough to see his back I froze, “Is this what you do whenever I have to leave? Go find another girl to kiss?” I shouted. Several heads turned in my direction including Will’s and Courtney’s, the girl whose mouth was pressed against his.

“Sky…” Will started.

“Don’t call me that, only my friends call me that. I can’t believe you. I thought you said you understood when I had to leave, you were always so relaxed about it, now I know why. When I leave you’re free to make out with whoever you want. I can’t believe I was ever dumb enough to be your girlfriend, but what’s worse, is the fact that I was ever dumb enough to be your friend. For 14 years.” Tears were streaming down my cheeks now but I didn’t care enough to wipe them away.

“Skylar, let me-”

“I don’t have to let you do anything, just stay away from me.” I said, spinning on my heel and storming out. I could hear Will trying to get through the crowd and calling out my name, but it all sounded distant, and there was a ringing in my ears.

When I got to my car I got in and slammed the door shut, only making my ears ring more. I cried with my head leaning against the steering wheel for a good five minutes before starting my car and pulling out of the parking lot.

I went home and changed my outfit into something more appropriate for my meeting, black pants, a black long sleeve shirt, and a mask that covered everything but my eyes. I tucked my last strand of hair into my mask and put my sheath around my waste. Very few people at my agency knew I was a girl, Blaze, my boss Simon, and a few others.

I took my dagger out of it’s secret case and put it in my sheath then went back out to my car, I made sure I had my special licence on me, and then pulled back out, and went to meeting.

 

“Hey, look who showed up.” Blaze said as I walked into the meeting and took my normal seat on the end. Everyone here knew my secret so I pulled my mask off and set it on the table, wiping my hair out of my eyes as it fell around my shoulders, still curled and bouncy. “Skylar, you look so nice.”

“Shut it.” I spit.

“I thought you were staying on your date, didn’t feel the need to come, what, got bored?” Blaze teased, sometimes he was the sweetest guy, my partner, and other times I swear he lived to annoy me, right now he was the latter.

“Drop it Blaze, I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I said through gritted teeth.

“Awe, poor Sky’s upset…” I got up from the table and left the room, left the building, and got in my car. My head fell against the steering wheel again, but this time I left there, crying and blubbering like a baby.

After a few minutes there was a knock on my passenger door window and I looked up, my face tear-stained, to see Blaze. I rolled down the window and choked out a strained, “What?”

“You left your mask on the table.” He handed me my mask through the window.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, trying and failing to dry my eyes.

“Usually my teasing doesn’t get to you this much.” Blaze said, trying to make me smile.

“Yeah.” Is all I could manage.

He opened the car door and sat in the passenger seat, staring at me. “Okay, seriously, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Now it was sweet guy, nice partner, big brother time.

I shook my head, why would I tell him, above all people, my problems, probably because he was to easy to tell all your secrets, he had a very open personality. “When I went back to the dance, Will was kissing someone else.” My voice broke again and new wave of tears washed over me.

“Oh my god, Sky, I’m so sorry, I had no idea, if I had I never would have said anything, I’m so so sorry.” Blaze said. He took my hand and squeezed it, then pulled me against him. I never thought I’d be in this position with Blaze above of people, but it was so comfortable, so safe.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know, being mean is just your thing.” I cracked a smile and he started chuckling.

“Okay, I can agree to that and I’m still sorry, but we need to have some fun, get you out of this sad mood, because it is truly depressing.” Blaze smiled.

“Okay, what do you mean by have some fun?” I asked, sitting back up in the driver’s seat and looking at him expectantly.

“It means, I am going to drop you off at your house so you can mope around while I go out and have some fun. What do you think?” Blaze said in a teasing tone. “I’ll drop us at your house so you can change and drop off your dagger if you want, then we’ll go to a drive in movie, ever been to one of those?”

“Yes,” I cracked a small smile, “Will and I went…” I let my voice trail off and my smile left as soon as it had come.

“Okay, I realize you just saw him kissing another girl, and that’s gotta be painful, but if we’re gonna hang out, you have to not get all sad whenever you say his name. In fact you should be mad, you should, like, go egg his house or something.”

“I have never egged anyone’s house, and I highly doubt I ever will.” I said, then added, “Besides, I didn’t think I agreed to hang out with you all the time now did I?”

“Okay, go hang out with your other friends, I always thought Will was your only real friend, but my mistake, if you want them to cheer you up, I can get out of your car, just say the word.” He flashed a teethy smile and he already knew my answer, but he raised his eyebrows in question anyways.

I sighed. “What movie are we going to see?”

 

3: Chapter Two

Chapter Two

“I don’t know, we can drive in to the nearest one and watch whatevers playing. Let’s just go to your house first, so you can change if you want.” Blaze said.

“Okay.” I turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot, my house wasn’t far from here, and within five minutes I pulled into the driveway. “I’ll be back in like ten minutes, tops.” I said, opening the car door.

“That’s okay, I’ll come in with you, say hi to your dad. I haven’t seen Sir Brown in a while.” Blaze said and we walked up to the front door, I put my key in the lock and turned it.

“It’s so weird hearing that. Sir Brown, I just call him dad.”

“Yeah, but he works at the agency, which means the rest of us have to call him Sir Brown, just like you have to call my mom Miss Brushwood.”

“I suppose.” I said.

“Sky! You’re home early. How was the meeting, or the dance, which do you want to talk about first, is the dance really over already, most proms go until midnight, and the after party can go as late as one.” My dad said as I walked into the kitchen.

“Um, well, tonight’s over for me. Blaze and I are going somewhere.” I said, trying to get out of the kitchen.

“Oh, I got the beep for the meeting, but I was told I didn’t need to go, is it something I should be worried about?”

“I don’t know, I was only there for a few minutes, then I left.” I said, dancing on the balls of my feet, I can not handle another breakdown right now.

“Then where are you going?” My dad looked between me and Blaze and back again, a questioning look on his face. He was my dad and my boss, which meant nothing really acted out in my favor.

“I’ll explain,” Blaze started, “you can go change if you want.”

I nodded and as I turned to go up to my room I mouthed a ‘thank you’ and Blaze smiled.

I sped up my stairs and straight to my room, over to my closet, and picked something I would wear to school, black leggings, a tan sweater, and a floral scarf. Then I pulled on my bear claw boots and threw my hair into a sloppy bun. I didn’t wear any makeup, I was always told I didn’t need to, besides I like to think of myself as natural.

I turned to go back down stairs and stopped on the bottom step, I realized this would be considered eavesdropping, and spying but I couldn’t help it, both of their tones sounded too serious.

“I’m really worried about her now.” My dad.

“I know, so am I. I always thought Will would be the one, would be her protector, but he can’t now. She was supposed to meet this person when she was young, who else is left?” Blaze.

“I don’t know, I suppose it could be you-”

“No, no way, I’m her partner, I help her, I can’t be the one, not to mention most of the time she hates me. That covers the doom part I guess, but then it’s been so dangerous for us to even be near each other, let alone work with each other.” Blaze’s voice was strained, he was worried.

“She’s a part of something that is so much bigger than she could ever imagination, if she ever found out, she’d find so many answers…”

“Her mom.”

I sucked in a breath. When I was little I always asked about my mom, but the only thing I ever got in return was silence, and occasionally my dad would leave the room, after a while I just gave up. I’m still curious, always have been always will be, but I know asking is pointless.

“That’s why she can’t know.” My dad sounded on the verge of tears. “She would be driven mad with always questioning herself, she can’t know she’s our biggest weapon and our worst threat.”

“I know, if she knew, she wouldn’t just question herself, she’d be so scared too. She’d fear herself, something none of us should ever have to go through.” Blaze said, I’d never heard him so serious.

“You have to protect her, ever since you guys were little you’ve protected her and she’s protected you, you really have to step it up a notch now, please.” My dad begged, he never begged.

“I promise I will.” Blaze said, his voice trembled a bit. I can imagine why, my dad just practically put my life in his hands.

“I’m sorry for asking, but I feel I need to know. Do, do you still like her? I feel silly asking if you have a crush on her, but I guess it’s what I’m asking.”

Blaze let out a low, short chuckle. “Of course, ever since I’ve known her. She’s always been so creative, so independent, so beautiful. I only tease her because whenever I try to say something meaningful and nice, it’s like word vomit, I just stutter and sound stupid. These last few years though, it’d been getting easier, I’m just so mad, not necessarily at her, but because she’s been going out with Will. I tolerated it because I thought he was the one, but now, I suggested we go egg his house. Not because it would be good for her, but because I needed to get my anger out, and we all know I can’t go beat him up. But he strung her along for so many years, so many years of pretending and whenever she left he just, moved on to the next girl. For 14 years I’ve had to keep my feelings hidden and he betrayed her, I hate him so much.”

Then I’d heard enough, Blaze had a crush on me? He’d been jealous of Will for 14 years? And he’d only teased me because he couldn’t figure out any other way of talking to me? I couldn’t hear any more, as it is if they found out I knew this much and my dad knew I’d been listening he’d kill me.

I pounded my feet on the bottom steps a few times, a trick I’d learned to do when I was younger, and heard the kitchen go dead silent. I walked into the kitchen and smiled at them, trying not to react to the news I wasn’t supposed to hear.

“Hey.” I said. My dad gave me a sympathetic look and I smiled. “Dad, it’s okay, you don’t have to look at me like I’m a damaged puppy, I can handle break-ups.”

“I know sweetie, I’m sorry, it’s just, this wasn’t a break up, you saw him kissing another girl…”

“Dad, I appreciate the pep talk, really I do it’s great, reminding me of what I saw and all, but we gotta go, or we’ll miss the movie.” It was probably my imagination, but I felt that my voice sounded different. Now I was carrying around a secret, am I going to start acting like one of those paranoid people on T.V. shows? Then again they’d both been carrying around secrets since the day I was old enough to walk.

“Yeah okay, sorry, you guys go have fun, don’t be back too late.” He smiled, was it just me, or was he smiling more at Blaze? Argh, and the paranoia begins.

“We won’t Dad.” I smiled and it seemed kind of forced, if I acted differently around them now, I wish I could just unhear what I’d heard. We went out the front door and walked over to my car.

Blaze held out his hand and I looked at it confused. “Keys please.” He said.

“Okay, yeah um, why?” I said.

“Because it’s always proper for the guy to drive, and because you drove here, and because I know where the outdoor theater is.” He smiled and I handed him the keys.

Then he walked over to the passenger door and opened it for me. “Oh why thank you.” I said sarcastically and got in. He then went over to the drivers side and got in, starting the engine.

We drove in silence for a few minutes and he kept looking over at me like I was some bomb about to go off. I felt so awkward, now I could never be normal around him again, should I just tell him I heard the conversation?

“Sky?” Blaze asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay? You’re acting weird, I mean, you were acting weird before because you were upset, but you’re acting even weirder now, what’s up?” Blaze was truly concerned, you could tell by the tone of his voice.

When you live a secret life, and are a spy sometimes, you learn to ask yourself every question that pops in your head to make sure it’s worth it. What would be the consequences of telling him? Would he tell my dad? Would he hate me? Would he be embarrassed? Would he be happy? Would he never want to be my partner again?

“Sky…? You’re kind of scaring me, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing, it’s just, nothing.”

“If you don’t want to go, I can take you back home, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Blaze said.

“No, I was just thinking about Will, I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t get the image out my mind.” I lied.

He seemed to relax and loosen up a bit. “Oh well, hopefully we can take that away with a movie.”

We drove the rest of the movie in mostly silence with a little small talk here and there, honestly if you ask me, I was making him uncomfortable because he thought I was thinking about Will when really I was thinking about him.

“Here we are. Looks like a new movie is just starting, wanna watch this?”

“Sure.” We drove in, found a parking spot where we had a good view of the screen, and then unbuckled our seatbelts so we were more comfortable. I’m kind of glad movies were supposed to be a time to watch and not talk, because I think a conversation would have made me throw up.

We got about halfway through the movie when the rain started, then a downpour and the screen went all weird and the movie stopped. Cars started their engines almost as soon as the movie started acting weird, like they were expecting it, and drove off. We sat there though.

“Awe man, the movie was ruined.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, now I guess I have to go home again, wow two ruined outings in one night, this night truly sucks.” I said, I let my head fall back against the seat and sighed.

Blaze was quiet for a minute before he did anything. He shut off the engine and opened his door to get out.

I shot back up. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t answer, just flashed me a mysterious smile and got out. He came over to my door and opened it, holding out his hand. The smile was still there, and his eyes were twinkling. “I realize this is no prom, but may I have this dance?”

I smiled and I could have sworn it went from ear to ear. I took his hand and got out, getting soaked within the first minute of being out in the rain, but it was amazing, sweet on his part. Will would never have dreamed of doing something like this.

“Of course.” He lead me a few steps away from the car, so we were in front of it in the line of the headlights, and then he put his hand on my waist, making my whole body go rigid, in a good way, and I put my one free hand on his shoulder.

We were both soaking wet and it would take forever to dry off, but it was still the only place I wanted to be right then.

“This is so cheesy.” Blaze said after awhile.

“I know, I was just thinking the same thing, like in all those romantic movies where the couple goes out to dance in the rain and at the end of the scene they kiss.” I said, then immediately regretted it, can you say awkward.

We danced in the rain for a while longer and I couldn’t have been happier. “Thank you.” I said.

“For what?”

“For being such a great friend, I guess I never realized it until now, when I really need it, but you’ve been my friend all along, so I guess Will wasn’t my only friend.” I smirked.

“Guess not, but being your friend is pretty easy, you don’t expect much, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being who you are.” He smiled, and I smiled, and his eyes were gleaming, I just really wanted to kiss him, but knowing that’s what he wanted too, made my stomach feel uneasy.

I could tell we both leaning in, we both wanted it, but I knew it would be a big mistake, by tomorrow morning I would regret it so much. I jerked back, and there was no mistaking the hurt look on his face, it was like I had wagged a treat in front of a puppy and then taken it back right away. Gosh, how stupid could I get.

“Sorry.” We both said and the same time. Great, now he was apologizing, wow I’m an idiot.

“You shouldn’t be sorry.” I began.

“Yeah, I should, I was being stupid, let’s just go, the movie’s done.” He let go of me and walked back to the car as my arms fell down to my sides. Crushed, that’s how I should describe him, crushed.

I hung my head a little and got back in the car, after a few minutes of being on the road, Blaze broke the silence, “Sorry I got you wet.”

I sighed. “Would you stop apologizing? I-I, you know what, never mind, nothing I say will change your mind, so just keep beating yourself up.”

We pulled into the driveway, the rain still pounding against the windshield, Blaze opened his door then handed me my keys. “See you tomorrow.” He said.

“You aren’t seriously going to walk home, are you? Either come inside, or take my car home, tomorrow, Dad can give me a ride and then I’ll get it back from you at the meeting.” I said, already getting out. He didn’t follow.

“See you tomorrow.” He repeated, then pulled away.