Know Thyself

“You’re such an excellent writer...I’ve not met a more wonderful writer than you.”

 

She was silent, staring away from him, feeling her body tense as his lips pressed against the skin of her neck, his hand brushing her scarf away.

 

“You could argue for and against anything. You’re almost too good at it.”

 

She clenched her eyes tight and finally she found her voice. “Please. I didn’t come here for this.” He drew back to look at her. “What...what is that look for?”

 

“This look?” he queried, raising his eyebrows slightly. “This is the look of me wanting to kiss you.”

 

Allison shot up in bed, her bed a mess of blankets and pillows thrown around her legs. Her heart was thundering in her chest and when she raised her hand to push her mass of wavy, auburn hair from her face, she could feel the dampness of her cheeks. She swallowed and closed her eyes, feeling tears threatening to spill over, left from her dream that as an all too familiar memory, a nightmare that had haunted her for the past week. She lowered her hand to her breast where her heart was still trying to find its familiar beat. Even as she sat in bed in the darkened room, the memory drifted up from her mind, the feel of his hands on her thigh, creeping sneakily up, him forcing the glass pipe to her, insisting that she smoke some more weed, refilling her glass of rum and coke. Even when he had been doing it, she recognized it for what it was. The man was trying to get her so drunk and high that the next time he tried to kiss her, she couldn’t resist. She drank slower, was careful not to hold the smoke in too long, all the while dodging his attempts to kiss her until at last, disgruntled and displeased with his failed efforts, he offered to drive her back home.

 

She had wanted to insist on walking, even though it was snowing and bitter cold and after ten at night.

 

She had wanted nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible, this wolf in sheep’s clothing.

 

Allison shuddered, holding herself and steadying her trembling frame. It had been the first time that she had put herself in such a stupid position; she should have known better. He could have tried to overpower her, but she was younger, taller, and had more strength than he did, which she was sure had been more of the cause of his decision than anything else. After her trembling had subsided, she rose out of bed and jerked the curtains open. It was not yet six and it was still dark out. As she stood at the window, her hands holding the blackout curtains, she wondered at the effect the encounter had on her. Grimly, she suspected it was more of a result of who the person had been than anything else.

 

I’ve been taught by Professor Regal for almost 5 years, she thought. He’s the head of my department, he’s done my senior thesis, he even overlooked my internships. He’s old enough to be my father. How do we go from an intellectual discussion to him trying to kiss me?

 

“I’m incredibly attracted to you, Allison...”

 

The sudden voice in her head made bile rise in her throat and she threw herself into her adjoining bathroom and, not for the first time, found herself dry heaving from pure disgust. Shaking, she collapsed against the wall across from the toilet and put her head in her hands, gasping loosely before she began to sob freely. Lowering her hands, her head fell back and she stared up at the ceiling, tears streaming down her cheeks while she uttered small, pathetic noises.

 

X

 

“What kind of douche bag professor requires this type of reading?” Allison looked up, peering at her friend from behind her laptop. She had been working on a grad application when Cory came into the campus café, his face set in a scowl. He threw himself rather violently into the chair across from her, dropping his backpack beside him. Allison had known Cory since she had started in college, as he had been in the same dorm building as hers. He had started dating her dorm mate, so she became close with him then, but even after they had broken up, they stayed good friends. While Allison was of a calmer type, unbothered by much, Cory was explosive and tended to get into multiple fights with other men when they went out to the bars. “Look at this list! And it’s a bunch of secondary authors. I don’t want to fucking read about what someone said about them, it’s not like I care about their opinion!”

 

“Should have done it with me in our first years,” she said unsympathetically.

 

“Al, I’m an engineering major, does it look like I want to take a philosophy class?”

 

“I think it’ll do you some good. Maybe you’ll start voting. Who’s teaching it?”

 

“Professor Regal. That’s the one you told me to sign up with, right?”

 

“Oh...yeah.” She laughed slightly. “I forgot that I had told you to take his class. Well, he’s not too hard, so I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Eager to abandon the topic, Allison quickly started talking about the grad programs she was looking into applying. Even though it had been nearly a month since the incident had occurred with Professor Regal, she still felt uneasy. He hadn’t tried calling her since that night and she hadn’t seen him, either. It had been an accident that had happened right after finals week and so she had been able to avoid him the entire break, but now she feared that she might run into while on campus.

 

After some time, Allison finished her coffee and packed up, following Cory out of the café to go get lunch. As they were walking across campus, huddling close to each other against the bitter winter air, a girl with curly blonde hair stopped them, saying, “Cory! I’m so glad I saw you. We’re having a party tonight at Jake’s place to bring in the new semester. What do you say?” She winked at him, smiling brightly. Allison eyed her thoughtfully. Cory had always been popular with women and had never been one to stay with one for very long, claiming that relationships were too much of a hassle for him. The girl was beautiful and was clearly from a wealthier family.

 

“Ehh, I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Anyone else I know going?”

 

“Rude!” she laughed, nudging him. “I’m going to be there, who else could you want?”

 

“Not gonna lie, that’s pretty persuasive. I’ll think about it, maybe I’ll see you there.”

 

“Alright, alright.” She waved at Allison and then said a special goodbye for Cory before passing them, allowing them to continue on.

 

“She’s annoying as shit,” Cory told Allison as they walked. “I met her at a party last semester and she hasn’t left me alone since. She’s constantly blowing up my phone.”

 

“Maybe she likes you,” Allison suggested mildly.

 

“Nah, she definitely just wants my dick. Another girl I know is friends with her and told me that she was fuckin’ around with some guy she met at a ski resort over break. Girls that sleep around that much, not really worth it, ya know?”

 

“Oh, are you getting better standards nowadays?”

 

“Shut up!” He made to smack her over the head, but she dodged, laughing at him.

 

After they ate at the campus restaurant, Cory walked with her to her apartment before saying goodbye. She hugged him briefly and then went up to her apartment. Cory had decided to stay in the dorms, as it was more cost efficient than moving into an apartment. Allison had only recently left the dorms within the last year because her parents had offered to pay most of it and since she had a campus job working at the café so she could pay the remainder of the rent, she felt that it was a rather good exchange in order to have her own place. It was quieter at her apartment, too, so she had been able to focus on her studies better.

 

As she settled onto the futon in her living room, curling up in a blanket, she couldn’t help but feel a little lonely. Besides Cory, she only had acquaintances from her classes and work. She didn’t even have a boyfriend and hadn’t had one for awhile. It might not have bothered her so much if her family didn’t continuously remind her and if she didn’t have to see Cory go through girlfriends like they were water. She hesitated and then touched her hair thoughtfully. I’m not beautiful like that girl, she thought, but I never thought I was ugly. She was a little paler than usual in the winter and the freckles on her nose and underneath her eyes stood out a little more, but she was slender and although her hair was thick and wavy, it wasn’t frizzy or out of control. But then, she added inwardly, maybe it’s just because I’m not as good at socializing as Cory.

 

“Well, whatever,” she said aloud and reached over, flipping the TV on. “I never said I wanted a boyfriend, anyway.”

 

X

 

It gets dark so much sooner in the winter, Allison was thinking to herself three weeks into the semester after leaving the café. She had been the closer that night and after balancing the till and cleaning everything up, she collected her things and left outside. She stood in front of the café, pulling her gloves on and glancing around. The lamps were glowing in the cold air, lighting the walkways. The campus was deserted save for a few spare people walking to or from their destination. Allison sighed and pulled her scarf up to cover her face, hunching her shoulders to protect her from the icy temperatures. It’s below 20...I hope my pipes didn’t freeze, I forgot to leave the kitchen water running.

 

It was silent around her as she walked towards the far end of campus where her apartments were located. The air seemed strangely empty around her, but it wasn’t anything new. It always seemed that sound didn’t travel far during the winter. As she was walking past Roosevelt Hall, she tripped over something black and went crashing into the pavement, scraping her knee badly even in her jeans. “Dammit!” she swore, flinching as she got to her feet, holding her knee. “What the hell did I – ?” She stopped as she turned around, noticing a dark figure slumped in the snow. She stared uncomprehendingly for a long moment at the still figure and then looked around wildly. There were fewer lampposts in this part of campus, giving her less light to see, but the snow made the black-clad person easy to see. “Hello? Excuse me, are you okay?” She bent over slightly, but the person didn’t move. Part of her was possessed with the strange desire to leave the person there, but rather than do that, she set her bag aside and crept forward, reaching out. “Excuse me...?” As she grew close, she suddenly realized there was something odd about the shape in the snow. There’s something coming out of their back...Are those...wings? Hastily dismissing the possibility, she shook the person’s shoulder. When they still did not stir, she yanked her glove off and knelt next to them, reaching underneath the hood to feel for their neck. Once she found it, she searched for their pulse and waited a moment.

 

Well, they’re still alive. She sighed, leaning back on her heels and staring down at the figure. What should I do? Her eyes moved to the dark shapes in the snow behind their curved back. It almost looked as though they were wearing a large coat was fanning out, but she didn’t know any coat that went out that far. Trying to keep her thoughts in the realm of reality, she supposed that it could be a blanket. “Alright,” she sighed and searched for their arms and once she found them, she pulled the person upright, dragging their arms over her shoulders. She squeaked as their head flopped next to hers. She tensed, feeling their ragged breath on her cheek and their cold skin against hers. Swallowing nervously, she reached down to grab their legs and unsteadily got to her feet, wobbling side to side from the effort at first. Oh, this person is really heavy..., she thought. She reached out and grabbed her bag, snatching it up from the ground.

 

It took her longer to get to her apartment than she imagined and getting up the stairs was almost too much of an effort. By the time she got into her apartment, she was sweating and panting. She dumped the person a bit roughly onto her futon and when she turned around, she noticed that the shapes she had seen in the snow were gone and it was just an ordinary human. Not quite ordinary, she corrected, leaning over to look at their face. It was a man who looked young. His hair was a black, tangled mess around his face, and seemed to be about as long as his shoulders. Even though he was unconscious, he looked handsome and somewhat exotic. She stared at him for a long time before she realized what she was doing. Clearing her throat, she tore off her coat and scarf before kneeling next to him. She was able to get his coat and boots off him and the other layers and while she poked and prodded, she could find no wounds on his body. What in the world was he doing collapsed in the snow then?

 

Sighing, she touched his forehead and he didn’t seem to have a fever, so he wasn’t sick. His pulse had seemed a little slow, but normal. Confused, she stood above him with her hands on her hips. “Well...I guess all I can do is cover him up and hope that he’s okay.” She fetched blankets and an extra pillow from her closet and made him comfortable on the futon. “I hope he doesn’t die,” she murmured to herself as she left to the bathroom to shower from the sweaty endeavor of packing him to her apartment. “I really don’t want to explain that to the police...”

 

X

 

The next morning when Allison woke up, she had completely forgotten about the man. As she prepared to leave the apartment, she paused in getting her jacket, seeing the black coat of the stranger in her closet. She blinked and then hurried into the living room, realizing that the man had left at some point during the night. The blankets were crumpled at the end of the futon and while he had clearly taken his boots, he had left without his coat. She stared around for a long moment, confused. Well, at least he didn’t die...He’s going to get sick wandering around in the cold like that, though. She heaved a long sigh and after collecting her things, she left the apartment, wondering if the man was safe.

 

After work that day, Allison went to use one of the study rooms in Hudson Hall and was caught in the room for some time working on her homework. While she liked her apartment, she had always used the study rooms in Hudson Hall and as it was a newer building, it had a distinct smell to it that made her feel reminiscent. And, while she would never have admitted so to anyone else, she felt herself slipping lately as she studied, finding her thoughts drifting to that unpleasant memory. Checking her phone, she blinked realizing it was nearly eight. They wouldn’t be locking the building until ten, since there was a communications class that was taught there from 5:30 to 10 on Wednesdays, but she supposed it would be better leave now so that she could get something to eat. Maybe Cory will be willing to meet up with me to eat, she thought. After she had collected her things, she sent a text to Cory, asking what he was doing, and then left the study room. As she turned a corner, she crashed into another body. “Oh! I’m so sorry!” she hastily said, reaching out just as the person caught her shoulders.

 

“Allison...” Freezing, she raised her eyes from the ground to meet the soft, blue eyes of Professor Adam Regal. For a moment, her legs seemed locked in place and she couldn’t move. “I’m surprised to see you here this late. Studying hard, I suppose?” He smiled and she blinked, confused at his friendly manner. He had seemed to angry with her the last time she saw him, yet now he seemed just as he had been before that incident had occurred.

 

“Um, yes.” She cleared her throat and quickly smiled. “Yes, the study rooms are really comfortable for homework and, well, the Wi-Fi on campus is faster than my own internet, honestly.”

 

“No doubt,” he said, nodding. “I’m not surprised by that at all. Actually, would you mind walking with me a moment?” She hesitated. “Don’t worry, it’ll be just for two minutes, promise.”

 

“Sure...,” Allison answered uncertainly. He released her and they walked back the way she had come from, their pace slow and unhurried.

 

“I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior before,” he told her, one of his hands tucked into his pockets. Admittedly, for a man in his forties, Adam Regal wasn’t unattractive. Besides the lines of his face and the dark brown beard, one wouldn’t suspect he was all that old. Allison knew that there were other women in the class that found him to be attractive in a distinguished sort of manner and he certainly was charming, but she simply could not get over the fact that he had been his professor for her entire college career. “I should have simply taken you home and not pressured you.”

 

“Oh...No, it’s okay,” she said, glancing at him. No, it was not okay! Why am I saying that?

 

“Really?”

 

“It’s just, well...you know...things happen, people make mistakes. Not a big deal or anything.” She laughed shakily. He had paused and was looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite comprehend. When he stood there gazing at her, she felt her stomach begin to tighten with fear and she quietly asked, “Sir? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” he said and smiled. “You really are a most wonderful woman, Allison.” As she opened her mouth to say something, his face suddenly hardened and he grabbed her arm. “But not unbreakable.” With surprising strength, he dragged her a foot away and then shoved her into the open study room. As she went tumbling to the floor, her elbow hitting the wall painfully, he followed her and shut and locked the door firmly behind him. Allison had just managed to sit up when she saw him flick the blinds over the window, looking down at her. “You’re not the first student of mine that I’ve been interested in, you know...but you are the first to say no.” Allison stared at him, unable to move, overcome with the shock and fear of the situation. He knelt down and took her face in his hands. “I really like when you tell me no. It makes me want you more.” He thrust her away from him and her head hit the wall. She blinked, seeing stars for a moment before her vision cleared and she saw him above her and felt his hands on her hips, holding her in place.

 

He’s going to rape me, she thought with horror, staring up at him with wide eyes. And still, she couldn’t seem to make herself fight him or even scream. As his hand crept up her shirt, she clenched her eyes tight, feeling herself begin to shake. “Please...Professor Regal, don’t. I don’t want this!” She made to shove against him, but he laughed and took her hands, locking them against her chest.

 

“Keep saying that to me, Allison,” he said softly and her eyes popped out in terror when he kissed her, forcing his tongue in her mouth. It felt like a slimy eel and she could feel herself becoming nauseous with the feel. There was a sudden slam and a moment later, Adam Regal was torn off her and lying limp near the window. Allison blinked blearily, feeling her tears pour down her cheeks. When she looked up, she was surprised to find the man that she had saved last night standing there with a coldly furious expression.

 

“Y-you...,” she began weakly and then looked at the professor’s crumpled body. “Is he dead?”

 

“No,” the man replied calmly in a hoarse voice, “just unconscious.” He reached down and pulled her to her feet before taking her bag that had escaped from her shoulder when she’d been shoved in the room. He held it out to her and she took it from him, dazed. With a gentle touch on her arm, he guided her out of the room. She heard the door close behind them and didn’t even bother asking how the professor would get out of the building if he didn’t wake before they locked it up. Frankly, she didn’t care. Allison let the man guide her away from campus and back to her apartment and didn’t even question how he was able to get inside when he simply opened the door and followed her inside. “You should stay here for a while,” he told her, “just in case he tries to follow you.”

 

Allison blinked and realized she was sitting on her futon, although she didn’t remember sitting down. She looked around and then looked at the man that was standing a few feet from her, surveying her with a grave expression. His eyes were a bright yellow and seemed to scorch right through her. “I’m sorry, but...how did you find me? And who are you?”

 

He continued to look at her, as though he was debating with himself about something. After a moment, he said, “My name is Balan, I’m a demon prince from Hell. But, I know how you humans are, you never believe anything until you have proof.” There was a pause and a shadowy type of mist seemed to form behind him before black, massive wings formed behind him, nearly filling her entire living room. Allison opened and closed her mouth several times before she scrambled to her feet and ran up to him. As she reached out to touch his wing, he caught her hand, saying, “Humans shouldn’t touch them.”

 

“Oh...I see...sorry...” She dropped her hand and his wings stretched out before they slowly disappeared, the mist lingering before it, too, disappeared. Allison looked to where the wings had been and then took a step back, falling hard onto the ground, still staring. So, I wasn’t crazy. I did see wings. I have a demon in my house. This must mean I’m going to Hell. “Demons are supposed to be evil,” she mumbled more to herself than to Balan. “They’re supposed to be the ones that cause chaos and make people kill each other...I thought angels were the ones that save humans.”

 

“Angels are more selfish creatures than you would think,” he said with a snort and then seemed to hop on something and crossed his legs, floating in the air. He leaned his elbows against his knees, framing his face with his hands. “Not that we’re not selfish, because demons are, but that whole concept of a guardian angel is absolute idiocy. As if those snobs could bother themselves with going around protecting humans. They don’t care.”

 

“You would think that demons would be even more uninterested,” Allison said, sending him a sidelong look. “If you don’t mind me asking...why did you help me?”

 

“I’m indebted to you,” he explained. “You saved my life. Most humans would have simply left me to die. In fact, even if they don’t know what it is they are seeing, humans have a built in sensor, so to speak, that urges them to ignore or leave a demon alone. But you ignored it and helped me instead, even carrying me here and taking care of me.”

 

“...listen, I don’t know how much you talk to humans – ”

 

“Never,” he cut in promptly.

 

Ignoring him, she continued, “ – but this is a lot to take in. I’ve got a demon in my apartment, I was just nearly raped again by Professor Regal, and now I suddenly know that God exists and I should have been going to church all my life instead of making fun of the Mormons.”


“Even the angels make fun of the Mormons,” Balan told her. Allison blinked and then edged up to him, eyeing him up and down. “What?”

 

“Are you...serious right now? Are all demons this sarcastic and witty?”


“We’re a lot more fun than angels,” he said with a sudden smile. “Don’t you ever wonder why so many people fall into sin?”

 

“It’s not fun when you’re the unwanted recipient,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself and shivering a bit. When she looked up, Balan was frowning at her with his serious expression. Suddenly he landed on his feet and took a step towards her. Holding herself a bit tighter, she took a step back, her wide eyes raising to his face in question. Very gently, his long-fingered hands landed on her shoulders and he pressed his lips to her forehead. Allison felt a strange warmth fall over her and the anxiety from the memory of her encounter in the study room seemed to wash away. She felt her body grow limp and then Balan swept her up in his arms. “What are you doing with me?” she mumbled, feeling her eyelids grow heavy.

 

“Putting you in bed,” he said, walking to her bedroom. As her eyes closed, she felt him lay her on her bed and remove her shoes. As she began to drift off to sleep, she felt him cover her with her blankets and say, “You deserve a good rest for once...Allison.”

 

X

 

When Allison woke up, she felt her head smarting from when it had hit the wall and her elbow was throbbing a bit. Looking at her alarm clock, she saw that it was almost five in the morning. Even though she had woken up in pain, she felt more rested than she had in weeks. She lay in bed for a long while, staring up at the ceiling. As she raised her arm up to touch her face, she realized that she was still in her coat. Sitting up slowly, she shrugged out of her coat and changed her clothes into something more comfortable. Any normal human learning of a demon would be hysterical by then, but she felt surprisingly calm given the circumstances. When she stepped out of her room, she heard the TV on and when she went in the living room, Balan was sitting on the futon watching an infomercial for the Dyson vacuum, the remote in his hand. “Did you sleep better tonight?” he asked without looking away from the TV.

 

“Yes, I did. Did you do that?” He didn’t answer. After a moment, she went over to the futon and sat next to him, pulling her legs up to her chest and peeking up at him. He was much taller than she was, which was hard since she was nearly 5’8’’. “Balan?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“What exactly is a demon prince? Are you...a fallen angel?”

 

He finally turned to look at her and his eyes seemed almost red but after she blinked, she saw that they were still the bright yellow that she had noticed before, reminding her of cat eyes. Even though he was a demon, he truly was beautiful. His eyes were narrow and almond shaped and his face was slender and angular. He could have been a model. “What do you know about the fallen angels?” he asked her.

 

“Not much,” she admitted. “I never believed in it, so I never paid attention and I never read the Bible or anything like that. I just know by hearsay.”

 

He smiled. “You should read the Bible. Not everything in it is lies, although quite a bit of it is.” He tossed the remote onto the floor and then turned to her, drawing one of his legs onto the futon, draping an arm around it comfortably. “Every demon was once an angel at some time or another. Most humans know me as one of the 72 demons that King Solomon trapped in that blasted brass case. This, of course, isn’t my original form, either.” He waved a hand towards his body. “It’s just one of the many forms that I’ve taken. One of my favorites, too, I must admit.”

 

“What’s your original form?”

 

“Nothing that you want to see,” he told her dismissively.

 

“Alright, then if you’re such a powerful demon, why are you still here?”

 

“I’m bound to you because you saved my life,” he said simply. “It’s a pretty rare occurrence, actually. I didn’t even realize that this bit was true. They always said that if a human were to save a demon’s life, they would serve them, but I thought it was nonsense. As you saw, though, I tried to leave, and I was compelled to stay near, so I watched you from afar and knew that man had bad intentions when he pulled you aside.”

 

“So what makes this uh, contract, stop? How do you get out of it?”

 

“Not sure,” he said flippantly. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually. If I’m stuck with you until you die, then that’s that. Nothing I can do about that, now is there?”

 

“Until I die?” she repeated, aghast.

 

“You make it sound like it’s such a long time,” Balan told her with a raise of his eyebrow. “It’s only about 60, 70 more years. That’s like a blip in time for me.”

 

“I’m definitely never going to be able to get married with a demon hanging around,” she mumbled.

 

“Probably not,” he agreed, “but maybe you’ll find a man that’s accepting of those types of things. We always get people dressed in black clothing and a lot of piercings trying to call us to them. Usually to kill people for them or to curse people. Is that a fad or something? It’s fun to play with them because they either run away from us – because they have to – or if they don’t, they faint and wake up thinking they were possessed by a demon.”

 

“I feel bad for anyone that got you,” Allison sighed. “They’re expecting this terrible, disgusting, evil demon. And instead they get...well...a witty demon that would tease them to death first.”

 

He chuckled. “My dear Allison, believe it or not, I can be that ‘terrible, disgusting, evil’ demon, but I rarely need to when it comes to humans.”

 

She smiled slightly and then turned away, resting her chin on her knees as she watched the infomercial. “Thank you,” she said suddenly. “I wouldn’t have been able to stop him yesterday.”

 

“You’re very welcome,” he said quite politely.

 

X

 

“Class has been cancelled for the last three days,” Cory told Allison when he met her at the bar. Allison hadn’t seen Balan for the past few days, but she knew that he was popping into the apartment to check on her because he had been leaving a rock on the counter. One morning, it was a rock with a crystal piece sticking out of it. Another morning, there was a rock with white rocks in it. And yet another morning, there was a pure black, shiny rock. She wasn’t quite sure if he was just doing it to be funny or there was something else to it, but she had stored all of them in her dresser drawer with her pajamas. After all, they were quite pretty rocks.

 

“Did he say why?” Allison asked, drinking her beer.

 

“Of course not, the guy just says, class is cancelled until Monday, have a good five day weekend. As if we don’t have any other classes. I wish it was a five day weekend. I hate having to take this damn class while I’m doing my graduating project.”

 

“But you’re almost done,” she said, clapping him on the shoulder. “All will be well in the future!”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled and then let out a whistle. “Whoa, where’d you get those wicked bruises, Al?” He pointed to the bruises on her arms. She had tried to cover them up with make up, but it had only made it worse, so she had washed it off and had hoped that Cory wouldn’t notice them. Even though they had already finished off a pitcher of beer and were working on their second one, they were only slightly buzzed and he was still observant enough.

 

“Oh, these?” Think of a story, think of a story... “I had some guy try to steal my purse the other day at the store.” That’s an awful cover story.

 

“Really?” Cory’s eyes went round. “What did you do?”

 

“Well, I started hitting him over the head with my fist, of course,” Allison said, nodding firmly. “He didn’t have a weapon. He tried to pretend he did, but it was just his finger! And he wouldn’t let go of my arm. And then...then this really tall and gorgeous, charming man came up and threatened him and jerked him off of me. The robber was so afraid he ran off! And then the man offered to help me home.”

 

“And then you slept with him to say thanks, right?”

 

“No! What do I look like, one of your regular bimbos?”

 

“Hey!” He pointed a finger at her with an angry expression before saying, “Only the blondes are bimbos. The rest of ’em are just normal, slutty girls.” Allison laughed, shaking her head. The two of them continued drinking, with girls coming over to flirt openly with Cory. A few men, seeing Cory talking to girls, ventured over to talk to Allison, but it ended up that the girls that were being ignored by Cory decided to try their hand at the boys talking to Allison and she was felt they were more than welcome to take them. Allison watched Cory chat up the blonde girl he had singled out, inspecting her closely. She had all the usual signs of a girl that Cory would play with and dump after a bit.

 

“Is that guy really your friend?”

 

Blinking, Allison turned and gawked at the male that had crept up behind her. Balan was behind her, dressed differently than she had seen before, with a casual pair of jeans and a long-sleeve thermal shirt. It was such a simple outfit and yet somehow the demon pulled it off perfectly. Allison saw other women staring at him with hungry eyes and wondered when they were going to dive in. “I thought you said humans avoid demons?” she hissed in his ear. Balan raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“What, you thought that we didn’t have ways of fixing that when we want to blend in the crowd? And you didn’t answer my question.” He tipped his chin towards Cory, who was oblivious to what was going on with Allison. “Is this supposed to be your only friend or something?”

 

“Of course he is my friend!”

 

“Really?” Balan looked at her with a curious look and then reached over, tapping Cory on the shoulder. The girl looked up and was instantly staring at Balan as if Cory didn’t even exist. Allison felt nervous at the way the girl was looking at him, feeling that this night was going to turn ugly. “Hey, buddy. About that girl over there...how about I take her off your hands?”

 

“Huh?” Cory looked at him blankly.

 

Before Cory could give a proper response, however, the girl abruptly said, “Oh, you know, I better get going! It was nice talking to you, Cody, was it?”

 

“Cory...”

 

The girl sashayed around them, scribbling something on a piece of paper from her purse and winked at Balan, handing it to him. “Call me when you’re leaving tonight, handsome. I’ll show you a good time.” Balan gave a charming smile and took the piece of paper, tucking it in his pocket, watching as the girl left to pick up her tab. Cory, however, was staring at Balan with a fairly irritated expression. Allison shifted uncomfortably, feeling herself sober up rather quickly.

 

“Ah, too bad,” Balan commented. “I guess you didn’t move fast enough.”

 

Balan,” Allison whispered warningly.

 

“Do you know this guy?” Cory asked her, turning his frown towards her.

 

“Uh – ”

 

“Rather intimately, actually,” Balan said, putting an arm around shoulders and reaching out, taking her hand with his unoccupied one. “I was hoping to catch her alone tonight, but she’s always with you. It gets pretty annoying. What’s the point of you dragging her around just to watch you get in some girl’s pants?”

 

“Who the fuck are you to say that?” Cory lunged to his feet in sudden fury and Allison flinched, wishing that Balan had the sense to stop while he was ahead.

 

“Oh, I struck a nerve. Keep it in mind for the future, won’t you?” Balan snapped his fingers and suddenly Allison found herself standing in the back of the bar. She blinked, turning and looking around in confusion. She looked up, but Balan merely put a finger to his lips and led her out the back door. Once they were outside, he released a sigh and stretched his hands above his head. “Ahh, that was good. Let’s do that again.”

 

“Balan, why did you do that?” she demanded angrily. “Cory didn’t deserve that!”

 

“Didn’t he?” he returned, looking to her. “I don’t mean to be harsh when I say this, but when a guy that looks like him is with you, other girls aren’t going to hesitate to approach him. And he knows that. Whereas guys won’t approach you because they’re intimidated by his looks. He gets to have his cake and eat it too, as they say.” Furious, Allison raised her hand to slap him, but he grabbed it and then tugged her forward so their noses were nearly touching. His yellow eyes gleamed at her, flashing. “Is this the thanks I get for my help?” Allison felt her anger wash away at the reminder and she bowed her head, feeling the fight leave her. He released her hand and she felt his head on her head, resting there gently while she cried to herself. She made to rub her face, but he batted her hand away and then reached up, tilting her head back. “You’re not stupid. Why’d you let it continue?”

 

“It’s none of your business. I was fine with how it was.” She sniffled pathetically. He looked at her and then released her, allowing her to wipe the tears from her face and step back, putting some distance between them. She felt colder and zipped up her jacket, plunging her hands in her pockets. “Cory and I have been friends since we started college...I don’t have any real friends here...just people that I talk to. I don’t mind that I have to witness that.”

 

“It’s not just him making you see it,” Balan informed her pointedly. “He’s using you.”

 

“Who cares?” she mumbled. And then, more loudly, “It doesn’t even matter to me!” She stood facing away from him, trembling with anger and a little bit of hurt. Of course she had noticed the dynamics of hers and Cory’s relationship. It was easier to attract girls when she was there than when he was by himself. And sure, guys eventually came to talk to her, but they were always insecure and uncertain as to what was really going on between her and Cory and were never eager to continue their acquaintanceship with her. It had bothered her at first, but she had closed herself off from it, making herself not care, hoping that it didn’t matter.

 

“It matters to me.” She stilled, feeling Balan’s hands on her shoulders. A moment later, she stiffened, feeling him pull her back against him and cross his arms around her. “I told you I’m indebted to you...which means I have to protect you from anything that might cause you harm.”

 

“...I wish you were like the demons in stories, where they curse humans or eat them up and possess them.”

 

Balan didn’t say anything for a beat before quietly asking, “Would you like me to eat you up?” He bent down, pressing his cheek against hers. “Would that...make you happy?” She didn’t answer, afraid of his too-quiet tone and unsure of quite what his words implied. He suddenly chuckled and his hold on her tightened a bit. “Oh, little Allison...you are fun. I hope I do get to stay with you for 70 years.”

 

X

 

Allison rolled over onto her stomach, reaching out to take a piece of apple. She had her reading glasses propped onto her nose and was studying for a test. She hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before because her neighbors had an uncanny ability to have sex at two in the morning. While she didn’t mind if she was asleep, as nothing could wake her once she was sleeping, she had been getting ready for bed and their bedroom was right next to hers. College apartments were known to have paper thin walls, so Allison had sat up in her living room, praying that they finish fast so she wouldn’t have to listen to the awful noises anymore.

 

Balan, who had been sitting in the living room watching an infomercial for a face cream, had simply asked why she had changed her mind about going to sleep. He was strangely careful about making certain that he never went into her room. Of all the rooms in the apartment, he never set foot in there except for the one night when he had put her to bed.

 

How long has it been since I’ve slept with someone? she thought presently, turning her eyes away from the book to look at the wall as if it had the answer. I’ve not even had a one night stand. The last time I had sex was with my ex-boyfriend, Jerry, and that was forever ago. A little over a year, now that I think about it...Has it really been that long? She hadn’t kissed a man since him and the only guy that she had hugged had been Cory, but only in a friendly, farewell gesture. And then, of course, there was Balan from several days ago. She wasn’t sure if demons even understood certain things about human relationships, but she never imagined that he could be so gentle. She knew that it was just a game for him, but at the time, she hadn’t been able to remember when anyone had touched her so gently, holding her that close to them.

 

Setting her book aside, she rolled back onto her back and spread her arms and legs out. I can’t even remember what sex feels like, Allison admitted to herself, staring up at the ceiling. After a pause, she closed her eyes and touched her neck, running her fingertips over her neck and then along her collarbone. She spread her hands of her breasts, kneading them softly, and then spread her fingers over her stomach. This just doesn’t feel the same, she decided and released a small, frustrated sigh, but continued her downward trek with her hands, sliding them along her hips and over her thighs.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Jerking up, Allison yanked her glasses off, feeling her face burn as she turned to face Balan, who was standing just outside the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face. “Nothing! I wasn’t doing anything! What do you want?”

 

He continued to stare at her as he said, “I was going to tell you about this show I was watching. It’s on the Discovery channel. They’ve got all the facts wrong.” He paused. “Was I interrupting something?”

 

“Yes, my study time,” she snapped, feeling wholly embarrassed as she snatched up the book and thrust it in front of her face. “I’ve got an important test coming up.”

 

“Ah.” The room was silent for a long time and she clenched her eyes tight behind the book, praying that he didn’t ask anymore awkward questions. After some time, she dipped her book down and found him gazing at her. Blushing, she opened her mouth to yell at him again, but he pointed at her book. “Your book is upside down. It might be hard to study that way.” She blinked and then looked down to see that, in fact, the book was upside down. When she turned her eyes back up, he smirked in amusement and walked from her to return to the living room. Groaning, she fell back against the bed, covering her face with the book in shame. After a moment’s thought, she tossed the book aside and then stomped out into the living room. As usual, he was sitting cross-legged in the air staring at the TV.

 

“Listen, I just want to make one thing clear,” she said, moving to stand in front of the TV. He looked at her politely. “Whatever you think I was doing in there was not what I was doing. I was just massaging myself. My body aches from all the studying, you know, and...and...” She trailed off, taking note of the amused look in his eyes. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes darted around, searching for some topic change to grasp upon, but found nothing. “And so I was just giving myself a massage,” she ended lamely.

 

“I see. That’s understandable. You do work hard.”

 

He’s humoring me!

 

“Sit here,” he told her, pointing to the futon behind him. Frowning and feeling flustered, she did as asked as he set his feet down, turning to look at her. “Hmm...No...Lay down.” She hesitated and then slid down so she was lying on her back. Balan considered her and then nodded, kneeling next to the futon. “It must be hard massaging yourself,” he told her and gave an all too knowing, wicked grin. Her eyes went wide, mortified. As she made to sit up, he eased her back down with a hand to her shoulder. “No, I insist. I want to help. Let’s see...how did it start? Ah, yes.” She felt her heart stutter as he ran his fingers over her neck, drifting down to the delicate dip near her collarbone. She bit her lip, closing her eyes tight, feeling nervous as fingers spread out along her collarbone and then drifted down, his palm applying pressure against her breast, his fingers splaying out. She felt herself tense as his thumb brushed her nipple, stroking over it until his hand drifted down, along her ribcage, his fingers causing small shivers to travel down her spine. When his hand came to her hip, her body was wound tight with anxiety and as his hand drifted over her thigh, she opened her eyes looking to him and startled to find his eyes on her face, a nearly ravenous look in his eyes.

 

“Would you like me to eat you up?”

 

She wondered if he was thinking of the same thing. When she reached out to touch his face, to bring him closer, her fingers were trembling somewhat, but he didn’t pull away. On the contrary, he leaned forward and met her mouth with his own. Allison stifled a moan as his hand slipped along her thigh, between her legs, his fingers slipping up to the warm center. She felt dizzy from kissing him, he tasted like nothing she could relate to and it was as if she was drowning, barely able to breathe. He raised himself above her and she arched herself into his body, craving the feeling of him against her. His other hand caught her breast, stroking her and when she broke away, her head spinning, his mouth was on her neck, suckling and kissing. “Balan,” she whispered, clutching to him, moaning softly.

 

“Allison?”

 

“Huh? What?” Allison blinked, sitting up and realizing she was in bed. She looked around and saw that Balan was standing outside her doorway, a strange expression on his face. It was...a dream... “Oh...I fell asleep while I was studying...Sorry. Did you need something?”

 

“No,” he answered carefully, “I just wanted to see if you were alright.” Without explaining what he meant, he turned around and returned to the living room. Allison sat in bed, staring after him. She put a hand to her head, pushing her hair back from her face. She felt flushed and sweaty. She wondered if she had been making sounds in her sleep. Carefully, she reached out and took the book back in her hand, meaning to read, but feeling horribly distracted. After a few attempts, she gave up on any more studying and tossed it aside, stepping out into the living room. Balan was laying on his side on the futon staring at the TV, but he barely seemed to be paying attention to what was on it. “What are you doing?” he asked without looking up.

 

“Oh...I was just seeing what you were doing. I’m going to go take a shower.”

 

“Alright.”

 

He’s acting odd, she thought, going to the bathroom and starting the shower. I must have been making embarrassing noises... She took her clothes off and got in the shower, thankful for the warm water. She stood underneath the water stream, her thoughts far away, absently washing her hair. After she realized how long she had been lathering her shampoo, she quickly rinsed it, tipping her head back and scrubbing at her scalp. As she went to reach for the soap, she heard the door open and jumped in surprise. “Uh...” Holding onto the shower curtain protectively, she peeked out from the shower and felt her cheeks turn pink at seeing Balan standing in the middle of the steamy bathroom. “Balan, what are you doing in here? Get out!”

 

Ignoring her, he stepped close and put a hand on a wall, glaring into her face. She tried hard not to flinch, surprised at the fierceness in his expression. “Even though I’m not human,” he told her in a brittle tone, “I am still a man.”

 

“Wh-what? What does that have anything to do with anything?” she sputtered, perplexed.

 

“Stop having those dreams about me.” He reached out and took her face, kissing her a bit more roughly than expected. Before she was even given a chance to react, he had pulled away and had left the bathroom. Allison stared at the bathroom door, confused, before closing the shower curtain and grabbing her face wash. She pointed at the door, mouthing to herself and then pointed to herself before rubbing her knuckles against her forehead.

 

“I really have no idea what just happened...,” she muttered to herself. After she had showered, she wrapped herself in her towels and went out to the living room to confront Balan, but he wasn’t in the living room and the TV was turned off. Allison frowned and looked in the kitchen and then even looked in her bedroom, but he had disappeared. Sighing, she shrugged and dried herself off and changed into her pajamas, lying down on her bed. I’m so confused...

 

X

 

Allison had just finished with her last class of the day and was thankful for the reprieve from midterms. She would finally get to relax for the weekend. As she exited the class, saying goodbye to the two girls she talked to in the class, she spotted Cory walking by with a girl. His eyes met hers, but he quickly averted them guiltily. It had been a few weeks since she had seen Balan and Cory wouldn’t speak to her and she certainly wasn’t going to try to repair their already broken friendship. It had been lonely, especially when she was so accustomed to Balan lurking in her apartment. She had gone out of her way to try to be friendlier with her classmates and it had gotten her closer acquaintances and although she ate with them and studied with them occasionally, it still wasn’t the same as a close friend like Cory or the constant companionship of Balan.

 

Sighing, she brushed her thick hair out of her face and pushed the thoughts out of her mind as she headed to work. She knew that Balan was somewhere, but he had gotten angry with her about a dream she hadn’t even realized he had been able to see. There was so much that she didn’t understand and she hadn’t even had a chance to ask him. Work dragged on endlessly and Allison felt listless by the end of the day. While the cold had finally begun to taper off, the nights were still long and it was still dark at six when she got off of work.

 

Remembering the form in her bag, she headed to the hall where the philosophy department was so that she could drop her graduation application in Professor Regal’s box. At least I haven’t seen him on campus, she thought with relief as she entered the hall and went up the staircase to the third level. She had never much liked Harrington Hall, it was always dark and gloomy with no windows except for in the professors’ offices. Professor Regal’s door was closed, so she dropped the form in the box hanging on the door and made to turn away when she heard something behind the door. Her brow wrinkling in puzzlement, Allison turned back and went still, listening. She could hear what sounded like crying. There was no one else in the department offices that she could see. Feeling sick with dread, she put her ear to the door and heard grunting behind the door and soft cries.

 

Drawing back, covering her mouth, Allison looked at the door as though it were a cobra. She knew without a doubt that man was in there taking advantage another of his students. She made to run away, to tell someone, and then froze, realizing that there wasn’t anybody on campus that she could tell and that girl was in trouble now. She could call the police, but what about now? Creeping away from the office, she called the police and explained the situation and where she was and afterward, she set her bag down and crept back towards the door. She looked around and, seeing a small metal trash can, she grabbed it and went to the door, carefully pushing down on the knob. The door was unlocked and she very carefully pushed the door inward. Her stomach churned as she saw a girl lying on her back on the desk, sobbing, while the professor rammed into her, groaning and grunting. Allison nearly gagged at the image. Creeping towards him, stepping carefully, she moved up behind him and then slammed the trash can over his head. He let out a shout and tumbled sideways. The girl instantly brought her knees to her chest, scrambling backwards as far away from him as she could. Adam Regal was only briefly disoriented and as Allison made to hit him again, he sprang to his feet, screaming, “You!” He slapped the trash can out of her hands and knocked her over the head with his fist twice, briefly knocking her unconscious. “You’re not getting away from me this time, Allison.” He kicked the door shut with his foot and tossed Allison on the floor, pulling her leggings and panties down.

 

“No! Stop!” the other girl had crawled down and was pulling on his arm. “Please! Leave her alone!”

 

“Get away, stupid brat!” he snarled, throwing her away. “She’s mine, finally. Ah...she’s perfect...perfect – ” He suddenly stopped talking, his mouth working. The girl, sprawled on the floor where he had tossed her, looked to him, uncomprehending. He suddenly clutched at his throat, making choking sounds, and scrambled to his feet, running to his desk. His face was turning an unhealthy shade of red as he dug through his desk. He found a pen and stabbed himself in the neck, but to no avail. Her eyes went round as saucers, watching as the professor thrashed about senselessly before collapsing behind the desk. When he didn’t stand up, she hurried over to Allison just as the door popped open and police streamed in.

 

“Where is he?” one of the police asked while a policewoman helped the girl right Allison and help her find her own discarded jeans. The girl pointed to behind the desk wordlessly and then was led out into the hall by another policewoman.

 

Allison was roused by one of the policewomen when she was taken outside where they had an EMT clean her and the other girl up. The other girl was much worse off, but Allison was unsure as to what had happened when she had been passed out. The woman explained that she hadn’t been raped, but had been knocked out by the professor and that he was dead. “Dead?” Allison repeated in a hushed voice. “How...?” She glanced over at the girl that was being treated by another EMT.

 

“No,” the policewoman said with a shake of her head, “it looked like his throat suddenly closed and he choked to death. He tried getting air by stabbing himself with a pen. You were very lucky. Something’s looking out for you.”

 

Or someone, Allison thought, glancing up at the darkened sky.

 

After taking her statements, Allison was escorted home by the police and told to come into the station the next day. She waited inside the apartment for just long enough for the police to be gone and then stepped back outside. She leaned against the railing, calling softly, “Balan? Are you here?”

 

“Behind you.” She turned to see Balan sitting on the roof, his wide black wings looming behind him impressively. “Am I to expect you to get yourself into those situations all the time? You would think you would have some forethought rather than charging into an office with a dangerous man.”

 

“I had to do something, I couldn’t just let him keep doing that to her.” She hesitated. “I thought you had left me.”

 

“I told you that I can’t leave until I’ve resolved our debt,” he said in a moody tone.

 

“I know, but...You were so mad at me, I just thought you would find a way around it...I didn’t even know whether you would be there to keep me safe from him...” Balan frowned and then reached down, holding out a hand. She glanced at it uncertainly and then tentatively put her hand in his. He pulled her up onto the roof with him, gathering her in his arms. Rather than draw away, she curled against his chest and cried, having never felt more grateful for him than right then.

 

“Allison,” he sighed, “if you believe anything that I tell you, believe that I will protect from such beasts. I give you my word. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

 

“Only because you have to,” she sniffed.

 

“Actually,” Balan said, pulling away and tipping her head back, “it’s because I simply like you. I lied. There was nothing that was keeping me here except that I wanted to be here.” She blinked, stunned, stray tears dripping down her cheeks. “Do you know why humans aren’t supposed to touch a demon’s wings?”

 

“No...”

 

“Demons,” he said with a slight smile, “can only fall in love once. And when another touches a demon’s wings, it’s an intimate touch that binds them to that demon so they can be with no one else.” He reached out and cupped her face, gently brushing the tears from her face. “I love you. Do you love me?”

 

Allison gazed at him, surprised by how simple his declaration was, yet how powerful at the same time. He could have left at any time, yet he had stayed and protected her because he knew that he had loved her when he met her. She had never been truly satisfied with any man that she dated and only when she met Balan did she feel truly happy and contented. He was teasing and sweet, violent and joking, an entire contradiction. But he made her happy, even as flawed of a creature as he was.

 

She gave a watery smile and raised her hand, resting it on his wing as she reached up to kiss him. “Yes, I do love you.”