Joan McCauley was walking around the local supermarket shopping.  A block of cheese, a jug of milk, a head of broccoli, a package of ground beef and a bag of grapes shared room in her cart.  She was just buying a few things she was missing.  Her stockpile, so to speak, needed replenishing.  Joan pulled up to a cashier's till and waited in line for what seemed like forever.  While she waited to purchase her groceries, she thought over the name of the lane she was in.  Surely they were being ironic when it was first called the Express Lane.  She laughed, but stopped as she saw a young girl emerge from the supermarket bathroom across from the till.  Tucked in the waistband of the girl's jogging pants were several sections of toilet paper.  Joan was left wondering: why?

Joan didn't know it, but she had just seen Stephanie Carter, a different sort of character.  Stephanie had been having a bit of a rough day.  The ten year old girl's day had started out normally with a shopping trip with her family, but it went wrong when she stepped in the candy shop next to the supermarket.  Looking through the available selection, she had picked out a package of Skittles and a Mars bar. 

It was when she headed towards the counter that trouble had struck.  Behind the counter sweeping up was Barney Barnes, the bully, and one of his favourite targets was Stephanie.  She rushed back to the shelf trying to hide her face as she figured out what to do.  Mr. Roberts owned the store, and he worked there a lot of the time, but evidently he had hired some help.  There was nobody Stephanie could tell if Barney bullied her now.  She realized she was in big trouble. 

It took a few minutes, but soon inspiration hit her.  Frowning, she carefully replaced her candy on the shelves and walked out of the shop.  Barney had seen her though, and now she heard his thudding footsteps following her.  He must have been almost finished his shift!   Luckily, she had practice outrunning the chunky boy.

She ran for the supermarket, its bright Wal-Mart sign proclaiming that they had the best deals in town.  She relaxed and felt the wind rush by her, laughing and tossing her sandy-blond hair over her shoulder as she raced through the automatic door.  She was greeted by various yellow smiley-face stickers.  First stop: girl's bathroom, on the right!  She ran in, almost knocking over a woman. 

Stephanie slowed.  Sweet, sweet safety, at least for now.  She could hear Barney groaning outside.  Stepping into a stall, she thought about what she could do.  Her cell phone rang and she answered it, speaking into the receiver.  "Yeah, sure.  Just give me a minute, okay?" 

She ripped off some sheets of toilet paper.  1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...11...12.  That would be about right.  Sticking them in her waistband, she waited patiently until she heard Barney's receding footsteps.  A couple more minutes passed after that.  Then she strode out of the bathroom, ignoring the baffled looks shoppers at the till were shooting her. 

Stephanie walked over to the sales rack.  Aha!  They carried just what she needed.  A pen with a retractable tip was in the bin.  After picking it up, she walked into the food aisle and took a bag of garbanzo beans.  Then she walked to the till and paid for her purchases with the money she had brought for candy.  Going back into the bathroom, she put her purchases on the sink counter.

First, she took apart the pen.  She basically just needed the spring, but if an adult intercepted her, Stephanie could quickly disassemble her invention and say it was just a pen.  Good cover for an important project.  Hmmm...what would she call THIS one?  GROBB maybe, as in Get Rid of Barney Barnes?  GLOBB?  Oh, she liked that acronym!  It was ideal: Get Leave of Bully Barnes.

Stephanie went back to assembling her weapon.  She unhooked the toilet paper from her waistband and ripped off four sheets.  She wound parts of the middle section into the spring, but made sure the opening of the spring was covered by the paper.  Then she did the same with the other end of the spring.  She tied these ends together.  Finally, Stephanie used the remaining sections in a sort of toilet paper origami to fashion a pouch for the beans.  Perfect.  After cutting a belt loop for the case with the toilet paper cutter in the bathroom, it was finished. 

Stephanie put the pouch on her belt and took out the spring contraption.  When she needed help, she could put a hand on each tied end and pull on it to bring the spring down.  Good thing it was extra strength toilet paper!  Slingshot assembled, Stephanie was ready to fight Barney Barnes.  It was time to get that candy.  Instead of Skittles though, she wanted a Mars bar and a couple of Oh Henrys - maybe some licorice too.  She HAD been saving lately. 

Bravely, she emerged from the bathroom, noticing that all the customers at the tills were going about their business again.  Typical.  Nobody noticed when a genius was among them, but they had noticed the toilet paper hanging from her waistband!  Society was just plain sickening sometimes. 

She walked over to the Sweet Shoppe, head held high as she marched to battle.   She looked in the door.  Barney was back sweeping again.  He had seen her, too.  She walked into the shop, putting her slingshot behind her back and taking out a garbanzo bean from her pouch.  She put it on the top of the spring, and she was ready to fight.  After sliding her round-rimmed glasses lower on her nose to make herself look more formidable, she put a hand on each end of the toilet paper. 

Stephanie laughed as Barney leaned his broom against the wall.  When she didn't move, his face suddenly bore a baffled expression.  Usually, she would be bolting right now, but not THIS time.  He walked over with a swagger in his step, but not quite as much as usual though, she noted with satisfaction.  Then she took out her slingshot and pelted him with beans, giving him a karate kick for good measure.  He went down on his knees and begged for mercy, giving her HIS candy.

"Steph.  Stephanie.  Stephanie Carter, focus!"  She came bitterly back to earth at the sound of her mom's voice.  Time to stop daydreaming.  Reality was bleaker.  She didn't have the know-how to make that contraption.  Besides, it probably wouldn't have worked anyway.  The real reason she had had the toilet paper looped around her waistband was because her little brother Freddy in aisle 2 had needed some to wipe his runny nose.  She had been called on her cell phone and asked to bring some, but there were no pockets in her pants.  Her mum had looked at her with the same strange look as the people lining up at the tills.  Sigh.  It had been one cool daydream though...