I've realized that my school is like something from a book or a T.V. drama.
Kate the nerd has seduced the school's bad boy, whats-his-face, that girl who wears platforms 24/7 and wears as much makeup as a person can just broke up with her jock boyfriend who ticks me off every time he opens his mouth, the quiet girl who does nothing but read has fallen head-over-heels in love with our one and only too-cool-for-school prick, and we even have a whole band Romeo and orchestra Juliet thing going on! It's hilarious how every time someone mentions the couple in front a music member they start fuming about how the other's not good enough for someone in their group.

I'm beginning to wonder why I'm the main character. Maybe it's because I think that I may be the only sane one in this whole school? Next thing you know my class is gonna get all of the transfer students and I'm gonna be moved next to the window.
I forgot to mention this didn't I: I'm a guy, I'm 17 -yeah, that cliche number-, I don't think I'm that bad looking, I'm also thin, not like starved nor fit but skinny-ish, and I am currently sitting between two makeup monsters who love to pass notes to each other. Oh, here's one.
I'm surprised it's not folding into some intricate swan or something like they usually do. I could read this one without being a creep! Actually, that was creepy enough as it is... It read:

I hear we're gettin sum new studnts! I hope they're hot guys!

I TOTALLY CALLED IT. I SO CALLED IT.

Anyways, jeez learn to spell girl! I passed it on to makeup monster #2 and frowned when she started frantically scribbling something down. I know that they have their expensive IPhones so why don't they just text?! It's annoying doing this every other second and getting in trouble when they catch me. You may be wondering exactly I do this. It because, well, highheels hurt when stabbed into your unexpecting foot only covered by your black converse. I'm doing for my poor feet. Oh, a reply.

Totes! they comin today?

Today? A reply already from MM (makeup monster) #1!

Yeah I'm glad I wore this outfit 2day!

I passed it on just as the bell rang. Next class: HELL! Nah, just math. But it pretty close.

"ANDREW, WAIT UP!" I hear my brother yell at me. Oh yeah. My name is Andrew Black and my brother Peter and I are twins. Fraternal twins though. We look nothing alike.

"No way Peter!" I sped up.

Peter had light brown hair while I have jet black hair, he's tan while I'm pale as paper, he's fit while I'm just skinny, his eyes are blue while mine are amber, and he's all popular while people are like "YOU EXIST?!" to me. The strangest thing is that we like the same stuff and we're actually pretty close.

"Come on Andrew, that's mean. How can you walk that fast anyways?" Peter was slightly panting by the time he caught up with me.

"I don't know. Maybe you're just slow?" I asked smiling. At least we had math together. Otherwise we never saw each other. Except for lunch, but he's always with his friends at that time.

"So, what did they fold it into today?" Peter asked. He knew about my note passing adventures.

"Nothing surprisingly. I got to read it today! Apparently our class is getting some new students." We walked into the classroom and I saw glare at me. I glare back.

She hates me by the way. I hate her too. We have a mutual feeling hate that keeps her from trying to kill everyone else. But no one recognizes that I save them from her wrath since she takes it all out on me. I don't really mind since she looks about as threatening as a wet kitten when she's mad and it hilarious. Seriously.

"You guys need to stop doing that. One day you'll throw a chair in her face. You know you actual temper is short." Peter sighed and we sat down. We chose to sit next to each other on Peter's insistence because, I quote "I can't leave you alone to socialize and scare people." Yeah, he's really nice, don't you think?

"Hey, you're spacing out." Peter waved a hand in front of my face. calls our attention to the front of the class.

"We have a new student. Introduce yourself." She ordered the guy in front. He wasn't tan or anything, but he wasn't pale either. His hair was black, like mine, but his was almost blue or something. He was about as tall as me, he wasn't fit nor was he skinny but he wasn't fat... His eyes were really green... I mean, like emerald or something... I sound weird, don't I?

"I'm Jasper Mars." He stated and went to take his seat. Mistake one.

2: The Escort, Lunch, and Flying Book

There is an unspoken rule in our school. Until the teacher dismisses you, do not move from where you are. Why? Because all of our teacher's are dangerous and probably know 100 ways to kill someone with a ruler. And a student was once karate kicked for insulting a teacher. (That was by the way, just so you know.)

And unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know yet), the new guy, Jasper I think, just broke that golden rule of ours. I'm actually feeling sorry for him...

"Where are you going?" glared at him.

"To my seat...?" He kind of asked. I think he's getting an idea of what's happening from the terrified looks on my classmate's faces. glared harder, and he did the one thing no one but I did; he glared back. He glared back. I am the only one allowed to do that without getting karate kicked to the next classroom.
scowled, and he copied the motion. She was fuming now. Better get my popcorn.
Jasper went to take his seat again, completely ignoring , and I almost laughed at 's expression. Apparently she saw me trying not to and turned her wrath towards me.

"Andrew! You will be escorting the new student around the school." She huffed and sat down. Well, this can't be too bad. Who knows, he may be a prick, or a nerd, or even someone interesting enough to glare back at our teachers.

Peter looked at me like I was going to flip out and murder everyone.

"I'm just hoping he doesn't get you mad... I don't want to hear that you snapped and threw a chair in his face." Peter said.

"I'm not going to throw a chair in his face. Maybe a book, but not a chair. Chairs are too heavy." I smiled a bit.

Jasper was looking confused, as he still didn't know who I was, seeing as didn't point to me or anything. I raised my hand and spoke.

"I'm Andrew by the way." He nodded and sat down in the only empty seat. Which was a window seat. I chuckled, getting myself another glare from the demon teacher.

The rest of math went by quickly, and I then had to actually converse with Jasper. He surprised me though by coming to me first.

"Hi." He looked nervous. Why would he be nervous? Half of the girls in our class were already in love with him, seeing as he opposed a teacher and is still alive.

"Hey. So, I guess the devil ordered me to show you around. Don't worry, I won't throw any chairs, books maybe, but no chairs." Yep, that's me, the one with the messed up first impression.

"As long as you don't chuck a dictionary I think I'll be fine." Jasper smiled a bit. "But I never heard you rule out tables. Tables hurt. Don't throw a table. Or a Harry Potter book. Those are like dictionaries themselves."

"I won't throw a table. And I assure I'm not lugging around dictionaries or Harry Potter books." I laughed.

We started talking about what I could throw and that turned into a conversation about creative ways to kill people. Don't ask me how we got there, because I really don't know.

We had our next class together, which was chemistry, and we ended up as lab partners. was another teacher who didn't like me. Even though I actually didn't mind him.

We were doing some chemical mix up to see what we had to blow up. That went on until I was sent to the principle's office because I may or may not have singed off John's eyebrows.
After a talk about how much of a dick John is and how he smoked pot behind the school and how he did it with Margret in the school's locker rooms shut me up. And John got detention for a week.

I hear all of the gossip, seeing as I sit between the makeup monsters, and I have become 's informant. Because I know everything, seriously. Do not underestimate me.

When I walked out I found Jasper looking lost outside of the bathrooms. He spotted me and waved a bit.

"Sorry, was getting John detention and getting myself out of trouble." I apologized and realized that I probably missed the rest of science. That means it's lunch time!

"Dude, it's lunch. You have to eat our lunch." I looked him in the eyes, and said it really serious, and I probably creeped him out. I went towards the cafeteria

"You are one freaky guy." He stated, but followed me anyways.

Okay, I have to clear this up. I'm not trying to kill the poor lad by force feeding him that normal cafeteria poison someone pulled out their ass. I said OUR food. Which means Peter and I food.

We sat down, and I pulled out my lunch, opened it, and let Jasper behold the perfectly put together and delicious looking lunch. Then I kindly shoved chunk of food into his mouth.

"Mmph!" He exclaimed, looking surprised.

"I have another brother. He can cook like a food angel. Eat it, enjoy it." I smiled.

"Oh my god. That was amazing. Do you eat this every day?" He looked amazed. I nodded, and took a bit of my food, tasting the familiar taste of wonderful food.

"Andrew and Peter Black, please come to the office. Andrew and Peter Black, please come to the office." The announcement rang through the cafeteria.

"Don't eat all of it, but you're welcome to have some. I'll be back in a minute." I know who that has to be. It's gotta be him.

Apparently Peter and I didn't get out of the lunch room fast enough and our summoner burst in.

"ANDREW AND PETER BLACK, GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE!" That would be our step-brother, Jared. He's 21, and we're living with him at the moment. And he's also the cook who makes our lunches from heaven.

"Jared!" Peter was scared out of his skin. You see, in addition to Jared being an excellent cook, he also can kick butt, and he has kicked Peter's ass a few times for different reasons, and now Peter is just a bit scared of him.

"Peter, I'm not gonna kill you!" Jared said when Peter jumped as he dragged him to the office. Maybe I can just meld with the wall paper, or hide behind Jasper...

"Hey, can I hide behind you?" I asked him. He nodded, and took another bite of my lunch.

"Who's that?" Jasper asked.

"Well, that my friend, is who made the food you are eating and is the only perso alive that Peter is scared of, my step-brother, Jared." I answered, hiding as best I could.

"And why are you hiding?" Jasper took another bite.

"Hey! Don't eat it all! Anyways, I'm hiding because the only possible reason that he's here is that he has to go somewhere and he's gonna dump off Conner and force us to take care of him. If that happens, I'll expect you to be at my funeral, telling everyone about how cool I am." I sighed. Conner was actually awesome but we're in school, and it doesn't matter how buddy-buddy I am with , he won't let us have a twelve year old follow us around.

Jared and Conner are our step-brothers. Their last name is Cooke. Their Mom married our Dad so, yeah. That was when Peter and I were, what, 5? Yeah, because Conner had just been born, right before dad met her... and they got married when we were around 7.

"Wait a second... ANDREW! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" He finally noticed.

"He's over here!" Jasper yelled out.

"You traitorous bastard!" Shit, I'm starting to swear. Don't swear Andrew, don't swear. You'll corrupt Conner. Yeah right, he lives with Jared, who swears once every sentence really. I get a book form my back pack.

I hear foot steps and the next thing I know I'm being dragged out of the cafeteria, leaving my lunch from heaven to a smiling Jasper, who I throw a book I took at.

"It's not Harry Potter or a dictionary, it's Percy Jackson!" I yelled at him as it hits him in the stomach, seeing as he got up to even wave at me as I was dragged. I'll get the book back later.

Now, let's see what awaits me.

3: The Cliche Neighbor Trick

Now, I never really liked babysitting, nor conversing with someone more than a year younger than me, but Conner is the coolest little dude around. He's actually smart, he's sarcastic too, and he knows how to cook, courtesy of Jared, the food angel.

I was dragged out of the lunch room, leaving behind my copy of 'The Titan's Curse' from the Percy Jackson series, and next thing I know, Jared has made up some sort of lie. Jared could probably lie his way out of jail. He's like, the best liar out there. Seriously.

"You see, I need to get them out of school ASAP. Our grandmother is in the hospital and the doctors aren't sure if she's going to make it through the surgery. This was very sudden to us, since we had no idea she was in bad health until our mother called, panicking about it, and summoned us to the hospital. I hate to take my brothers out of school, but I'm afraid I have to." He finished, and the lady at the attendance office quickly nodded and sent us off, telling us she'll be praying for our grandmother.

How does he do that!? That lie was so fake! And so, we got thrown into the mini van of doom, to see Conner smiling at us.

"So, how was your day?" He asked. He smiled, showing off his unfairly perfect white teeth, and Jared frowned and brushed the curtain of blonde hair from Conner's face, that covered one of his brown eyes.

"Don't put your hair in your face. You'll end up eating it." Jared scolded, and went to the driver's seat.

"Oh, yeah. You started putting your hair like because of that anime character, right?" I asked. Conner also watches tons of anime, and right now his favorite one is One Piece. He makes me watch it with him, since I have a huge soft spot for the guy, and he wants an anime friend.

"Yeah, Sanji!" He smiled.

"Oh, the cook who has the hots for Zoro?" I ask. I mean, it's kind of obvious. Sanji is head over heels in love with the, what did he call him.. oh yeah, marimo. I must sound like a creep.

"Yeah, that one. Zoro's pretty awesome too. I think that they should put more clothing on the girls though. I mean, isn't it a bit much when they're only in like, bra's and super short shorts?" Conner asked. I nod in agreement.

You see, Conner isn't like "OMG BOOBS". He's more of "Okay, go put a shirt on." He's not girl crazed, and we are so thankful for that since apparently all of the girls love him.

That was so off topic of what I was trying to say.

Well, Conner and I chatted about anime (a new one called Attack on Titan) and Jared was asking Peter if he had gotten a girlfriend yet, and Peter was talking about how this one girl in his class was totally amazing. I think her name was Nia. An odd name, but cool.

"I still can't believe that no one has figured out that Annie is the female titan! The titan HAD HER NOSE." Conner was ranting.

"Alright, we're here." Jared kicked us out, along with Conner, and threw our back packs at us.

"When did you get these?" I asked, Jared just smiled, and drive off.

We were at the house, which was actually our parents, but they were on a trip to somewhere, and when they got there, they went somewhere else. They've been gone for about a week and a half, and they were going to be gone for two months. A long time, I know, but at least we still have a legal adult at the house, even though we're not the party throwing kind of teens.

"Come on! We're only half way through One Piece!" Conner dragged me in, and Peter followed.

My phone rang. I immediately answered.

"Who died?! WHAT HAPPENED?!" No one EVER calls me, and the last time my parents did, Peter had broken his arm.

"Uh... No one. It's me, Jasper. gave me your number because he said that it was unlike you to leave school..." Jasper? Seriously ?

"Oh. Wait, how does even know my... wait, that contest thing... never mind. Why are you calling me again?" Peter was giving me weird looks and Conner was opening his laptop, preparing the anime.

"I was told to. By the way, I need to return your lunch box. And your book. Give my compliments to the chef." I sighed.

"I'll pick them up tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Fine. I'll stop by at the end of school."

"And leave your poor grandmother?"

"I'm starting to hate you a bit."

"Good, now tell me where you live."

"Creep."

"Shut it. Now tell me."

"For all I know you could be a mass murderer."

"Damn, my cover's blown."

"Should I call the police now?"

"Shut up. I'll just tell you where I live."

"I could be a hitman you know."

"I'll risk it. Murderers are better than hitmen."

"Nah, hitmen are so much better."

And that's how we started arguing about whether or not murderers are better than hitmen. Eventually we got to our original topic.

"I live on 2711 Rosewood Ave." Jasper said. Wait. That's not right.

"That can't be right. I live on 2713 Rosewood. Wait, is your house blue with red trim?" This is too cliché.

"Yeah... Well, hi there neighbor!" So I have to live next to him until I move out.

"Whatever. Where are you anyways? Lunch ended an hour ago."

"Principle's office."

"What?" What did he do?

"Well, as I said, the principle asked me to call you, and he's been listening to our whole conversation, and frankly, he's been laughing at us for most of this call." Really ?

"Okay... I can just pick it up when you get home."

"Alrighty neighbor!" He hung up.

"Soooooo... Jasper's our neighbor?" Peter chipped in, tapping my shoulder. I nodded.

"Who's Jasper?" Conner piped up. He was sitting patiently, waiting for me to sit down and watch anime with him.

Peter smiled. "Jasper's Andrew's boyfriend."

"Oh, that's sweet." Conner totally went along with it!

"WAIT. He's NOT my boyfriend. I barely even know him!" I smacked Peter, and cleared up the misunderstanding with Conner.

I really don't mind homosexuality, in fact, I have an aunt who has the nicest wife on Earth.

"Okay. Can we watch One Piece now?" Conner pulled the bambi eyes on me. I smiled and sat down.

I seriously didn't expect the cliche neighbor thing, but you know, I'm the main character, and who knows what'll happen to me?

4: The Hitman And Mr. Murderer

I don't know exactly what I was expecting but when Jasper's mom opened the door and invited me in I was hit with the smell of fresh made cookies.

"Hello, my name is Andrew Black. I'm here to pick up something from Jasper. I'm a friend from school." I introduced myself, smiling. Jasper's mom smiled at me and quickly led me to the kitchen.

"I can't believe Jasper made a friend on the first day! He's not very good at making friends, never has been. Have a cookie!" Jasper's mom handed me a small plate with a cookie on it.

"Thank you..." What should I call her? I don't know if she's a Ms or Mrs!

"Just call me Sarah." She smiled, then turned and walked to a set of stairs.

"Jasper! Someone's here to see you!" She called up.

"I'll be down!" Jasper's voice came, along with the thudding of footsteps.

"Well if it isn't the hitman." Jasper drawled when he got down.

"Well hello ." I responded. Sarah looked between us and laughed.

"You two are hilarious!" She went to check on another batch of cookies, when the timer rang.

"The things are in my room. Come on killer." He dragged me up the stairs, and I was thankful I had snatched my cookie because oh my god these are amazing.

"Will there be dead bodies in your closet and a list of your next victims if I go in?" I asked as we stood outside his door.

"I try to keep those kind of things hidden." Jasper answered, and opening the door. The first thing that caught my sight was a CD.

"You listen to Panic! At The Disco!?" I exclaimed, holding the album ' .' for evidence. He smiled.

"You do too? Thank god, I thought I was the only one! People always looked at me like I was crazy if I asked them if they knew the band." We did this girly happy dance thing and then realized how weird we were being and sat down on his bed.

"So... where's my stuff?" That was the reason I was here in the first place, even though the thought of cookies was tempting. He got up and searched his backpack.

"Oh, here." He threw them at me. And hit me in the face.

"That hurt you bastard!" I growled at him. rubbing my now injured nose.

"I think I have a bruise from your book. You throw hard, seriously?" Jasper glared at me, then actually checked his stomach for a bruise, and there was one, showing on his fucking six-pack.

He noticed me questioning his muscles, and winked at me.

"Like what you see?"

"Yeah, I did a pretty good job on that bruise. Look at how purple it is. What a lovely shade." It takes a few seconds before we crack and start laughing our asses off.

"That, I was not expecting..." He laughs out.

"What were you expecting? Me to swoon and drool?" I raise my eyebrow.

"No, more like you flipping out and throwing another book."

"Well sorry that I don't have anger issues." That was a lie.

"You liar." He frowns.

"How'd you know?"

"You threw a book at me, called me a traitorous bastard, and admired my bruise that came from you. Either you have anger issues or you're a sadist." He explained with his messed up reasoning.

"Who knows? I may be a closet bonding addict."

"I would not like to see that..." He laughed, and I soon joined him.

"Hey Jas, oh, I guess you have a friend over.. wait, YOU HAVE A FRIEND?!" A female voice sounded from the door.

I looked towards the door to see a dark haired girl in a state of shock.

"Who's that?" I ask, although the answer is pretty clear.

"My little sister." Knew it. But she looked too normal to be related to the one and only .

She finally got over her shock and then tackled me.

"OH MY GOD JAS HAS A FRIEND!" She shouted in my ear. I tried to pry her off me, but she stuck like duct tape (because everyone knows that duct tape outclasses glue).

I heard Jasper laughing at me while I struggled in the grasp of his sister.

"GET OFF ME." I demanded, and finally pushed her off.

"I still can't believe that Jas made a friend on the first day of school! I'm so happy! By the way, I'm Koraline. Yeah, weird name huh? My mom just picked a random one from a name book. Then spelled it wrong. It's spelled with a K not a C. It's annoying when people spell my name wrong. What's your name? Tell me please!" She asked.

"I'm Andrew. Nice to meet you Koraline..." I introduced myself.

"Oooh, I like your name. I'm gonna name our new cat Andrew. Do you mind Andie?" I cringed. I hate being called Andie.

"Please don't call me Andie. I prefer Andrew." I asked. She nodded then smiled.

"Alrighty Drew!" I can handle Drew.

"Kora, is it that surprising that I have a friend?" Jasper asked, obviously annoyed.

"Of course! You haven't had friend since 4th grade!" Really, he hasn't?

"That's because everyone thought I was the devil." He stated.

"The devil?" I chimed in.

"Yeah, some middle school tried to make fun of me and I kind of beat him up. I signed his cast though, as a sort of apology, but my teacher thought it was morbid. I still don't get it." He beat up a middle schooler... then signed his cast. I couldn't help it and burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, you were once awesome kid!" I laughed out. Koraline looked confused for a second before smiling the biggest face splitting smile I'd ever seen.

"You guys will be best friends!" She exclaimed and hugged me again, while I while laughing my ass off on Jasper's bed, while he was now sitting on a chair next to his desk.

"I'll try, but I'm not sure if I'll survive, since I did blow his cover." We laughed, and I realized that we had our second inside joke, the first being about dictionaries and Harry Potter books.

"We have the weirdest jokes." He stated, saying my thoughts aloud.

My phone rang for the second time that day. I pulled it out of my pocket with the same urgency from before.

"Who died, any broken bones? TELL ME." I said into the speaker.

"You need to drop the habit of assuming someone is seriously injured whenever someone calls you." Jared's voice came out.

"Well I'm sorry that most of the times that's what happens." I snap back.

"Where the hell are you? Peter said you just up and fucking disappeared on them. Conner said you went to see your damn boyfriend but I know you don't have one. Wait... do you?!" Jared stressed. We had a 'if you get into a relationship you have to tell the family' policy.

"I don't have one. Do you remember that guy I threw the book at? The one who gave me away?"

"Yeah."

"I'm at his house to them back and now I'm his friend. He has a sister named Koraline, with a K, and she's pretty cool. Talkative, but cool.

"Oh..." I hear Jared sigh.

"Bye." I hung up.

"YOU SAID I'M COOL!" Koraline tackled me in a hug.

"Personal space!" I pried her off.

"You guys have to have code names!" Koraline exclaimed, laughing.

"We do, he's Hitman and I'm Mr. Murderer ." Jasper answers. I smile.

"One day I'll kick your ass and you'll see that hitmen are better than you pathetic murderers." I challenge. Jasper laughs, and we end up playing rock-paper-scissors to see who's better. We tied every single time.

"We better watch out, or we're gonna pull a Regular Show." I say. He stops and looks at me.

"You watch the Regular Show?" He asks. I nod.

"Cartoon buddies we are now." He declares.

We laugh and Koraline tackles me again, making Jasper laugh harder and making it impossible for me to throw something at him.

Well, I guess now you can call us Hitman and Mr. Murderer.