Sparkatale

I think it is a very well beginning to a great story! defiantly keep writing!

Thank you very much for the kind comment!

This was actually written as a single short story for a school project, though I did leave a way to continue with it. I'm not sure if further plans will come to fruition, but I will take your comment to heart and think about it.

Thanks again!

This--> *-* is my awestruck face. I really, really loved this!

First off, your use of vocabulary is amazing. No one word was repeated, your use of words were vast and concise. This was such a smooth read. 

Your descriptions were spot on, I could see everything you described as clear as day. Especially with the action you wrote. Which you had a lot of. It kept me on my  toes. This was anything but dull. *-*

You set the tone wonderfully when describing her surroundings. I got nothing but eerie feelings throughout the whole thing, with amazingly ominous undertones. 

The main character, Kiladra, she is just amazing. She's powerful, and brave, and maybe even reckless? She seemed so desperate to go and save Jarone that she kind of didn't really go in with a plan on how to do it. I loved it, she's very charming. Somehow it all worked out for her, even if her magick reserves ran dry in the end. They made it! 

I'm not sure if you're going to write more for this story, but please do! That chapter was really good, and to see a full blown story made from such a great set-up you have here would be awesome. The use of mythical creatures was great. And if you do continue this story, I'd love to see Kiladra face off with the Lamia at some point. That would make for the intense read. *-*

I'm not sure if this was an error I saw, so I'm going to put it out there and if I'm wrong you can correct me :D At the start you had used the word mortales, and when Kiladra had gone to describe the King as such the spelling of the word had been changed to mortalis. I don't know if it was intentional or not. 

As you can tell, I am just gushing over this. Good job, Nicole! ^-^

Wow, this is an indescribably beautiful comment. THANK YOU!

I'll address the spelling first: mortalis and mortales are Latin words. In Latin (and English, and most other languages), words that are plural are ended differently than they would be as a singular word. Mortalis ends in is, which is the singular ending. Mortales ends in es, which is the plural ending. I was hesitant on how to handle that, and I hope this is sufficient explanation.

As for the rest of my response, I'll take your comment by paragraphs.

Thank you! Word choice is something I always work at, and I'm glad you think mine is good!

Descriptions, tone, and action: thank you, thank you, and thank you! It was a lot longer than most of my other pieces, and I worried that it would get too boring, so thank you for that reassurance! I did have quite a lot of fun with this world, though; glad you liked it!

Thank you again for the comment on Kiladra! She is that, if anything at all. I'm glad you liked that; hearing (or reading) you say that, I had just been rereading a series that has a whole lot of that reckless nature in it. Hm. Just goes to show how much books influence our writing, huh?

Aww, thank you yet again! Honestly, this was maybe one of the only one-shots that I had no plans to continue, yet it's the only one people have asked me to do so. I'll give it a bit of thought; I'd love to bring Kiladra back, but to be honest, I have no idea where a sequel would go. Feel free to message me if you have any :).

Thank you again for the amazing, amazing comment! It truly means the world to me!

Oh, maannn..... you really, REALLY need to finish this. I'm shocked that it doesn't have more views and comments than it already does: these are the kinds of stories that go viral on wattpad.