Sparkatale

This is good writing. The first chapter had enough in it where I wanted to keep reading and see what was going to happen. One editing thing would be to put some of those stand-alone sentences into an actual paragraph. There were many that should be in a paragraph and the few that were powerful enough of a statement to be a stand alone paragraph by itself would then be better emphasized.

Thank you for taking the time to read the story and thank you for the writing comments, I am happy for any and all comments and will do my best to include them in future stories. It's always good to know where I can make them better.

Just finished it. Other than my critique above I only found a handful of little grammatical errors/awkward sentences. So very good. I really enjoyed this.